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THE PRINCETON ONION BY R. O. DUNN. Publish** Evry Thurtday. TKRM8Sl.oo PER YEAR IN ADVANCE. S1.25 I NOT PAID I N ADVANCE. OFFICEI FIRST ST.. EAST OF COURT HOUSE. Q. 1. STAPLES, Baslness Manager. Mr. Hearst is thinking of running for the United States senate. He can never get there by running, but it may be possible for him to obtain a seat by displaying his purchasing power to the boys. Some exceptionally able men have bled for the house in northern Min nesota this year, and one of the best of them is Elmer E. Adams of Fer gus Falls. Mr. Adams ought to be elected hands down. I was mean of the department oi agriculture to "pu tone over" on Governor Eberhart by designating May 16 as "Rooster day." The gov ernor had this very same date sched uled for "Caterpillar day." In three days last week 1,500 miles of roads were dragged in Hennepin county at an expense of 75 cents pei mile. Hadn't some of those south ern Minnesota counties better imi tate the good example set by Henne pin? Ir it is possible for the late Mother Eve of the garden of Eden to look upon the new styles in fem inine attire she has the consolation of knowing that, in her apron of tig leaves, she was not so greatlv under clad aftei all. The candidate with a bag of candy in one pocket for the kids and a bottle of whiskey in the other for lather is not so plentiful as he used to be About all he carries now is a nickel for bab\ and a kiss for mother. Down in Tennessee a man set tire to Ins house in older to annihilate the bedbugs theiein. If this is the only method of successfully destroy ing these pests known to Tennessee ans tbe\ had better burn over the whole state. The fact that St. Peter went dry does not mean that hypocrites who profess to be prohibitionists and drink booze in the dark recesses of their cellais will have any better show of entering the pearly gates than heretofore. Coxey's army is on the march to Washington and the moving picture men are obtaining some attractive hlms. When the la/y, unkept hoboes reach the capital they should be rounded up and compelled to work on the highways. An aggregation, of living models, attired in the ultra fluffery of fash ion, will toui the great lakes this summer and show fair femininity how to dress correctly. Then will follow the modistes' bills and thepepsia. mortgaging of lather's automobile. A Paris fashion magazine says the bustle is very likely to again come into style. Now, were Worth, or some other he-dressmaker, to intro duce a bustle with a flat top instead of a round one it could be put to practical usemothers could take their infant progeny out for an air ing thereon. To date the Browns Valley Tri bune ticket is: For governor. Wm. E. Lee for state auditor, Henry Rines for railroad commissioner, J. S. Arneson for clerk of supreme court, I. A. Caswell. Not a bad combination. But what's the mat ter with Burnquist for lieutenant governor, Schmahl for secretary of state and Smith for attorney general? 1 _*~. ISP^M i -*eaf Tfe %M*^A 1 THOS.tt.PROWSE. Editor. Governor Eberhart is loud in his praise of the primary election law but is silent as the grave on the ini tiative and referendum. A scientist predicts that in the future automobiles will be run with alcohol. Indications point to the fact that a large number of them are run with the stuff now. Mankato's city council will peti tion congiess for permission to dam the Minnesota river. Many a farmer in the Minnesota valley has damned that old river a thousand times. Good Roads Day and primary elec* tion both fall on the 16th of Junev The voter who votes for a legisla tive candidate who is heartily in favor of good roads legislation will be advancing the cause of road-im provement in this state. Instead of devoting so much time to ferreting out illicit stills in the mountains of Tennessee and Ken tucky revenue officers, we presume, will henceforth give considerable at tention to the inspection of the stokeholes and holds of battleships. If Wilson had a few men like Huerta in his cabinet a marked im provement would be noticed. Aside from the fact that the old Indian hybrid is a lascal of the deepest dye, it must be admitted that he is one of the greatest diplomats of the age. A good-looking housemaid who registered at one of the Minneapolis employment agencies for a position received 50 offers for her services. This, in all probability, occurred on a damp, cold day, when father was sent forth to engage the hired help. The organization of Coxey's army proved beneficial to at least one cityMassillon, Ohio, where it mo bilized. All the bums in jail at that place were liberated upon promise to leave town with the other tramps. Other places along the line of march would do well to follow suit. Down in Washington they are talking of creating an office for John Lindmaking him "special adviser to the president." As "special representative of the president" in Mexico he certainly pioved himself to be, as the showmen would say, a howling success' For fear, seemingly, that the Nor wegians in this state would forget to obseive their great national holi day, the governor has issued a proc lamation. In this document he de clares May 16, 17 and 18 holidays to be observed in honor of the signing of the Norwegian independence. Cute boy, that Adolph Olson. Japan has paid to China the of $26,000 to compensate the families of Chinese soldiers wrongfully killed by the Japs. How much of this sum the widows and orphans will get is only conjectural,probably a few coppers apiece,for the Chinese offi cials of today are well veised in the American art of grafting. News comes fiom St. Paul that the governor's staff is being drilled for the first time in its historyand is making forced marches of half a mile a day so that it may be prepared to go into Mexico in case of an emer gency call to arms. We fancy we see that bunch of ornamental puffers? with broadswords dragging on the cactus and gold cord entangled in the sage brush, crossing the Mexican plains. To imagine this for a mere moment is sufficient to provoke a laugh which will make the very raft ers ring. Try itit's good for dys- This is "Hog Cholera Week." so designated by a proclamation from the governor prepaied by his private secretary. There still remain a few weeks on the calendar which the governor has not set apart for one thing or another, and we would sug gest that he designate a smallpox week, powdery scab week, locomotor ataxia week, psoriasis week, spavin week and a sufficient number of others so that the entire year may be given over to the study of mi crobes and maladies. Then the gov ernor would have an excuse for creat ing a new office with which to reward one or another of his factotums. "Proclamation clerk" would seem to be a fitting title for the official appointed to perform the arduous duties of such office. L*k A ^t%^^^^m^lMdMS^^^M^ sumably, The one danger that threatens the candidacy ot Hon. Wm. E. Lee forfailed the republican nomination for the governorship is a light countiy \ote. Feigns Falls Journal. The amended primary election law with its non-partisan feature greatly intensifies the danger of a light country vote, and several alleged re form members of the legislature are largely responsible foi the enactment of the bungling monstrosity. We are not familiar with the rules and regulations of the navy department, but it seems to us that the time and place for a naval officer to resent "affronts and indignities" against this government by Huerta or anybody else is at the time aqd place of the commission of such "af- fronts and indignities." This thing of demanding of a drunken semi-bar barian that he "salute the flag" weeks after the "affronts and indig nities" have been offered does not appeal to us. Morris Anderson, a Minneapolis newsboy 12 years old, did some splen did detective work the other day. The little fellow shadowed a couple of hold-up artists, called a police man and had the highwaymen placed under arrest. Later they confessed to beating and robbing John Kalt of New Brighton. Morris should be rewarded for his good work and appointed to a position on the Minneapolis detective foice. He would make a g.ood chief in that bandit-infested city. Roy Welsh, a 15-year-old schoo1 boy, was sentenced at Walla Walla. Wash., last week to ser\e a life term in the penitentiary for the murder of a school janitor. I is a pity that a boy so young should be thus deprived of his liberty. In cases of this sort, it seems to us. prisoners should be placed in a re form school and not be cast into a prison to mingle with a lot o! hardened criminals. Young Welsh, with proper training, would prob in course of time, become a good citizen. A Rice county oiganization de mands "that the piesent road law be repealed and substituted by a town ship road law," so we are informed in a press dispatch from Faribault. Those intelligent Rice county re formers overlooked somethingthey to resolute in favor of county option. Singular, is it not, that all the "reformeis" down in that sec tion of the state ignore county option and all other proposed temperance legislation? Watch the mop of re form candidates lor the legislature in the Fiist and Third congressional districts. There will be few county optionists among them. The good roads proposition is al ready causing the tax payers trouble, with the promise of more coming. Anoka Union. What tax payers does the Union refer to? Surely not those of Anoka county. That county receives from the state load and bridge fund this year $15,500, and will contribute in taxes to that fund $4,987. Never be fore in its history has Anoka county received such a large donation from the state for its roads and bridges. We fail to see any trouble in store for the tax payers of Anoka county as far as the good roads proposition is concerned unless it is of their own making. -THE TOPTCETQST UNIONS THUBSDAY, APHIL, 23, 1914. That she-terrorist, Sylvia Pank hurst, discovered her mistake when she endeavored to open a campaign of abuse and denunciation in Gpr-for many. She found that the Germans are not such easy marks as the fool authorities who permitted her to preach her doctrine of destruction in the United States. The German police, while not barring the woman from the country, issued orders pro hibiting her from holding meetings or otherwise campaigning. Sen sible Germany. For the information of those who are trying to advance Eberhart's po litical interests with the argument that if he is defeated the Dunn good roads law will be irf danger of being repealed, it can be stated that R. C. Dunn himself does not share this ridiculous view, as he is actively supporting Lee fbr governor.Ros eau Region. The fact of the matter is neither of them is over zealous in the cause of good roads. Both of them seem to deem road-improvement as of secondary importance. To our way of thinking all the fads, isms and reforms advocated by Mr. Eberhart and Mr. Lee dwindle into insignifi cance when compared with the per manent improvement of our public highways. There is one place at least in southeastern Minnesota where th hireling demagogues have made little headway in stirring up opposition to the Dunn road law, as witness the following: West Concord, Minn.. April 15, 1914. Dear Mr. Dunn: The wide awake people here who are inter ested in good roads have appointed me a committee of one to tell you that we appreciate the road drag ging that is being done. Roads were never as good in April as at present. Yours truly. W. T. Schmidt. A so-called "black-hand" law has been enacted by the New York legis lature. This law provides for a maximum imprisonmet of 25 years the malicious endangering of life or property by placing bombs in or near any building. Even this pro vision is not sufficienatly severe for a crime of so diabolical a nature. People who plant bombs are no bet ter than actual assassins and death by electrocution or hanging should con stitute the punishment meted out to them. The state game and fish commis sion is said to be considering the employment of wardens on the per centage plan. If carried out no man with a cartiidge or a fish hook in his pocket during the closed season will be secure from arrest by the commis sion's hirelings. Better wipe out the department altogether I is unnessary expense "to the taxpayers and little, if any, good has been ac complished through its medium dur ing its existence. Daniel Aloysius Haggerty was thesaic first U. S. marine to fall in defense of his country's flag at Vera Cruz. The Irish are always to the front when there's fighting to be done. OPINIONS OF EDITORS He Does Not. When it comes to meddling with his own children Uncle Sam turns loose his dogs in a hurry.La Porte News. t $- Not Averse to Viewing Them. To have theii backs photographed is the latest craze of fashionable ladies of the east. We can probably stand to look at the leproductions provided the subjects do not wear duds too exaggeratedly decolette. Carlton Vidette. Guess Again, Brother. The tin soldiers and brass staff have frightened the editorial Irish on the Rum below Mille Lacs lake into a most oppressive silence. I does good to call down some bravoes in print.- St. Paul Review. $- Hugh's Party Easily Convened. The progressives in Minnesota have a big advantage over any other political party in the matter of con ferences. Whenever a meeting of any kind is called all that is neces sary to do is to have Hugh Halbert chairman, notify Hugh Halbert party to meet up with himself at a given time or place.Sauk Centre Herald. 5* $- Spreading It on Too Thick. Is not the Cambridge Independent Press overdoing the laudation of In surance Commissioner Preus?-Prince ton Union. Most assuredly, yes. If the editor's better judgment does not soon overcome his enthusiasm "Jake" should inteicede as such fulsome praise, coming from one in debted to the "kitchen cabinet," will only react to the detriment of his candidacy.North field News. $- It Does All These Things. Agriculture is an occupation that elevates the mind to a genial com munion with surrounding nature it is closely connected with the ma terial wants of the whole human family it develops and beautifies the earth it produces a healthy, thrifty and virtuous copulation and, more than any other pursuit known to man, adds to the pride!, prosperity and strength of a state.Western American. A Trifle Sarcastic. It seems to be John Lind's fate to enlist for the war but never to smell gunpowder w^w?* State Normal Summer School. I The state normal summer school will open a St. Cloud on June 15 and close on July 24 next. Courses are offered assisting those who are seeking certificates of the first and second grade. Final stand ings received in subjects'in the state normal school are credited on certifi cates of the first and second grade. Eighth-grade graduates from graded schools or those having high school board certificates in the common branches will be admitted to the full course. High schoof graduates will be admitted to the one year course or the regular two year course. All the first and second grade^sub jects will be offered besides profes sional courses for those who have completed a part of the regular nor mal course. Besides this, music, drawing, penmanship, sewing, play ground work and lectures in rural school supervision will be offered. Terms for board and room in St. Cloud are very reasonable. The summer term offers excellent opportunities for assisting young teachers and also for getting a start on the regular normal course. For further information address W. A. Shoemaker, President St. Cloud Normal School, St. Cloud, Minn. He'll Get Mired, All Right. Wouldn't suppose that a candidate for office could get far on a platfoim opposed to good roads, but that's what Dr. Gates of Kenjon is run ning on for state senator. No doubt a lot of people hope he will get stuck in a mud hole.Stillwater Gazette. A HISTORIC BELL From the Guerriere to the Constitution, Then to a Mill. One would hardly expect to find an object of historic interest in so pro a place as a New England mill an object older than the oldest title of the English peerage, an object made hefoie the English pailiarnent was formed Yet such an object is, in daily use a factory at Saylesville, E. I. It is a bell, whose history is a most in teresting one. Around the bell, about four inches from the crown, is this su perscription "Peter Secest Amsterdam, Anno 12G3, me fecit" The date, together with other well authenticated facts, leads to the belief that the bell was long used in a con vent belfry in England and was taken therefrom for public use during the reformation. But the connecting link between its life in the old world and its advent to America is the famous naval battle between the Guerriere and the Constitution The Guerriere, a helpless wreck, wass rolling the trough of the ea, while her bra"\ but defeated commander, Captain Dacres of the rojal navy, on the deck of the American frigate, the Constitution, was offeiing his sword to gallant Captain Hull. The two officers had been friends in time of peace, having often exchanged hospitalities at the Mediterranean ports, and now Hull's magnanimity shone out. "I'll not take your sword. Dacres," said he. "Keep it." In the meanwhile the boats of the Constitution were busily engaged in transporting the crew of the defeated ship to the deck of the victor. A mid shipman reported to the first lieuten ant that the ship's bell had been car ried away by a grapeshot from the Guerriere and that there was no way of announcing the time to the ship's company. At that moment the Guerriere gave a succession of heavy plunges, and the clear tones of a fine bell rang over the wrater. "Go get the Englishman's bell," said the lieutenant to the midshipman. "There will be no further use for it on board that craft." The Guerriere ,-surrendered at 7 o'clock in the evening of Aug. 19, 1S12, and at 8 o'clock the same evening Pe ter Secest's bell in sonorous tones rang out the hour on board "Old Ironsides." With the lapse of time the bell, amid the confusion and debris common to a great navy yard, became misplaced, lost its identity and was thrust care lessly to one bide It found its way to the scrap heap, was afterward sold bj the United States and finally came to rest in its present quarters.Boston Post. Hightly Practicai. "Your business college for young la dies seerns to be all right." "It is all right." "Do you give the ghls a good practi cal business training?" "In reply to that question I can only say that GO per cent of our graduates marry their employers the first year." Louisville Courier-Journal. An Important Consideration. "What reform will you advocate:" asked the friend. "I don't know." answered the woman who had just returned from a trip In the Spanish war he* around the world. "What reform is got as far as Georgia, and his partic- most fashionable at present?"Whsh- ipation in the Mexican war consisted "gton star, in reading the correspondents' re-! ports in the American newspapers while comfortably quartered in Vera Cruz. With the scene of trouble ex tending to Tampico on the gulf, the authorities at Washington began to fear for his comfort and ordered him home. John should now be in line for a pension as a veteran of two wars.Belle Plaine Herald. Queer Connection. "No system of physical exercises yet invented." says Oliver Onions, the novelist, "can compare for one moment with silk stockings for giving an erect carriage to the female head." Never be unemployed, never be tri flingly employed*, never while away time.John Wesley.1" CHILE'S HANGING GARDEN. Wondrous Beauty of Santa Lucia Parky III Santiago. Santiago, with its 400,000 of popula tion, fifty miles inland from Valpa raiso, is the capital of Chile. It lies in a great amphitheater forty miles long and eighteen miles wide and Is inclosed by walls of lofty mountains covered white with snow. Outside ofj Rio de Janeiro, no capital in the world' has a finer situation. Standing in the I central plain, it looks out on one side over fertile fields, sloping toward the coast range and on tbe other it looks up to the gigantic Cordillera 19,000 feet above it, furrowed with deep glens and covered with snowy wastes. There are*beautiful drives and parks and pleasure resorts on every hand.' The Alameda Avenida Delicias. 60f feet in width, runs the entire length of the city. The finest private houses front on this wide boulevard. They are built in Spanish style with court yards full of flowers and shrubs. The city has sixty-seven miles of electric car lines. Most of the streets are pav ed with asphalt The policemen carry swords. The city has an air of law and order. A beautiful park was given to the city by Senora Isadora Cousina. It is called the Quinta Normal. But the park of parks in Santiago Is Santa Lucia. For striking and pictur esque beauty it is scarcely equaled anywhere else in the world. It is a steep and rocky hill rising 500 feet right from the center of the city. The original scanty soil has been added to by skillful gardeners until it has be come an exquisite park, lifting its ver durous masses like a hanging garden high above the city. Flowers and creeping vines trail over rocks in wild profusion. Fountains glimmer in the sunshine, marbles gleam against the green. Grottoes invite you to their shade and winding paths allure the traveler to the very summit Here, at the top of this green rock, a splendid vista of the city lies at your very feet. You hear the hum of traffic and the buzzing wheels of commerce and out beyond you see a fertile plain, while on the far horizon the mighty summits of the snow capped Andes cut their silhouettes against a sky of blue. Beautiful for situation is Santiago, unique and fortunate in its Santa Lucia park.Peter McQueen in National Mag azine. Three Atmospheres. The atmosphere is divided by scien tists into three parts. The first extends from sea level to about 10,000 feet high In this layer are almost all the water vapors or clouds and all the dust. In it all the storms take place. The temperature tends to decrease, but very irregularly. The second layer ex tends to between six and seven miles high. In it are the "cirrus" clouds, and the temperature decreases uniformly. Man cannot go beyond it These two layers together are called the troposphere, because in them all the vertical movements of the air take place Beyond them is the strato sphere, in which occur any movement ot the air in planes parallel to the earth's surface. Strathcona's Romantic Marriage. The marriage of Lord Strathcona was a romance. He met the lady when he was twenty-nine and living on the coast of Labrador She was a widow and had a little son There was no priest or church within 1,000 miles and the marriage was a simple contract without ceremony. It was for this reason that when the high commission er became a peer in 1S97 a remarriage was held to be necessary and it was solemnized with the full ritual of the Church of England. The Labrador marriage was, however, ratified by special act of parliamentLondon Tat ler. Whistler as a Courtier. Most of tbe stories of Whistler are rather "waspish," but one recalls a story that shows him in the light rath er of a graceful courtier. It happened that the then Prince of Wales paid a visit to an exhibition of pictures that was held by an art so ciety of which Whistler was the presi dent Whistler received tbe prince at the door, and as they entered the gal lery his royal highness asked: "What is the history of your society, Mr. Whistler?" "Sir," replied the artist with a court ly bow, "its history begins today!" Noah and the Animals. Few people will say that Noah took more than two of each kind of animal and fowl into the ark. yet here is the Bible on the subject (Genesis vii, 2): "Of every clean beast thou sbajt take to thee by sevens the male and his female and of beasts that are not clean by twothe male and his fe male (Genesis vii, 3) "Of fowls also of the air by sevensthe male and the female to keep seed alive upon tbe face of the earth." Cellar Champion. A seven-year-old boy coming from school one day informed his mother that half his class had been promoted. His mother asked uim whether he nad been one of the number. "No," said he. "and I'm glad I'm not, 'cause I'm the smartest one left" New York Post Too 'Much Mental Tax. "What is your objection to slang?'* "To be perfectly candid." replied Miss Cayenne, "what I most object to is the constant study required to keep up with it"Washington Star. (W&fc Conscience in the soul is the root of all true couragelearIf a manywould be*?&&?jJ^T brave let him1 science. if 4" ^3--- to obe his con ^n^^^xi-^' SW ^wjfei