OCR Interpretation

The Appeal. (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, May 02, 1903, Image 1

Image and text provided by Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83016810/1903-05-02/ed-1/seq-1/

What is OCR?

Thumbnail for

to an alchemist
"Mix me a drug," he said, "that
will cure me of love."
The alchemist smiled.
"My friend," he replied, "to be can
did with you, a great many fine
stories have been floating around
about sundry dry old potions for this.
remedies. The only cure I know of
is prussic acid."
i The man smiled grimly.
I "I don't want to die quite yet," he
I said. "I want to get rid of this love
feeling. It's the worst agony I. ever
experienced. It blows hot and it
blows cold."
"Well," said the alchemist, "go and
ask that clown over yonder. Maybe
he'll tell you."
So the man went to the clown and
told his story.
"Want to know the answer?" th
clown grinned, as he puffed a ma
chine-made cigarette.
"Yes, yes," said the man, impa*
"Marry the girl," said the clown.
Primitive Egyptian Sun-Dials.
In upper Egypt the hours for worh
on a water-wheel a~fe fixed by prinsi
itive sun-dials. One of these sun-dials
is made by extending a maize oi
dhurra stalk north and south on two
forked uprights. At the side are set
in the earth pegs which evenly divide
the space between the sunrise and
sunset shadows of this dhurra stalk.
In the Other dial the gnomon is a ver
tical stick. Often the pegs are nearly
Covered by the soil, so firmly are they
pressed in, in order to avoid being
moved by the feet of the cattle or
men. The space between two pegs is
called an alka, from the Arabic root
meaning to hang or hitch on. The
harnessing of va
1-It"ainis to publish all the news possible.
2-lt does so impartially- wasi*r n* word*.
3-Its correspondents are able and energetic*
VOL. 19. NO. 18.
Philosopher, Wise Main, Alchemist
and Clown Prescribe Without Ef.
feetClown Finally Gives Answer
to Perplexing Problem.
A man, desperately in love, once
sought a philosopher for a cure.
%f "I have had," said the man, "about
all I can stand of this sort of thing:
Between terrific quarrels and mid
night make-ups I'm about dead. 1
wan- to withdraw with laonor and a
whole skin."
"Your case is a pathetic one," said
the philosopher. "My advice to you
is to study the workings of your own
mind. You will find then that what
you deem real is only, after all, the
phenomena of being. This creature
that you love is in reality only, an
illusion, a subjective projection, and
exists only in term of empirical con
sciousness. After awhile, by refleo
tions of this sort, you will rise abovo
such folly."
So the man went away and bega*
to reflect upon the transcendental
aesthetic, and the properties of space
and time. But he found the relief
was only temporary, for when the
girl came and put her arms around
his neck he was as badly off as ever.
So in despair he went to a wise man
'I'm in love," he said, "and don't
like it. I want to be calmer and do
things worth while."
"Study astronomy," said the wise
man. "After you have been at it for
awhile your own insignificance will
appeal to you. You and your girl
will fade away. Then when you come
back to earth, take care to bring only
So the man looked at the stars.
f$ut there was the girl behind him',
with her soft hands in his hair, and
at last he gave it up.
"What are a few picayune planets,"
he cried, "compared with her ca
And then he was obliged to ac
knowledge that he still was not his
own master.
bullock" to a water
wheel is merely the hitching on of a
loop harness over a hook. To the
question, What do you do when th
shadow reaches the peg? the answer
always came, "We hitch on another
Prince Bismarck's Diplomacy.
Prince Bismarck once said: "It
was occasionally one of my functions
to present all sorts of people to the
king, and it now" and then happened
that my head was so full of more im
portant matters that the very name
of the person I was about to present
lapsed from my memory. When that
was the case I used to put a bold face
upon it, and there being no time to
A Philosopher..
'Bout the, same as usual,
World keeps goin' on
A .ot o' time fur tollin'
An' a little time fur song.
9 Snowstorms in the winter
An' roses in the M.y
'Bout the same as usual,
j, I'm kind o' glad to say.
j" _l Jes' enough o' trouble
fr a*^ A the days go by
To keep up our ambitions
Fur a mansion in the sfeyr
If life were any sweeter '_*
t", i afraid we would furget
-i That the blessings of the future
-JaL something better yet.
k? 5.-.
King Menelik's Victory Over the Ital
ian Army Complete.
A recent book on King Menelik of
Abyssinia gives a detailed account of
his great victory over the Italian army
of 18,000 men at Adowa in March,
1896: "One hundred and twenty
thousand men thrown, up from the un
explored depths of Africa were pr'ie
Daring to rush against the Europeans.
Thousands of lean, fierce-looking Ethi
opians in the cloak of brilliant colors
that they wear on the day of battle
riflemen, spearmen from the hills,
swordsmen buckling tiie curved blade
on their right side to give free play
to the shield-arm wild .riders from
the plains prief'ts gijmg^absolution^
women and children %^esr-\and here
and there some great fjuditf'|hief with
black-leopard or lion sj|E$^ifig horse,
with sold embossed^ shield, silver
bracelets and all the irasnificence Of^
barbarian war." The wild host ad
vancing in the light of the rising sun
found that an Italian brigade, through
a blunder in the orders, had moved
forward too far. The European army
tfvus was destroyed piecemeal and the
survivors only shook off pursuit amid
the gathering darkness of evening and
ander the deluge-like rain of a tropic-
4l thunderstorm. The Italians had
over 6,000 killedone man in'three.
The victors lost nearly 20,000, the re
ul of rushing in close order three po
sitions held by artillery jnd repeating
rifles. Some hundreds of prisoners
were taken, and Menelik dimmed the
glory of his victory by cruel mutila
tion of the native allies of the Ital
ians. It was as complete a victory as
any recorded in history.
Mexican Towns Bristle With Resorts
Dedicated to Its Use.
"The pulqueries of the City of Mexi
co are a unique feature of the life of
that country that never fail to catch
the eye of the tourist and attract the
attention of visitors," said A. S.
Chewning of El Paso, Tex., to a Star
man at the Arlington this morning.
"There are nearly a thousand such
places and thejr
And after the next quarrel he went the year and surely present a pietur-
dispense many car
loads of pulque every, day. These
pulque shops are open every day in
esque appearance. The walls are dec
orated with the most extraordinary
pictures, representing bull fights and
prize fights.
"The extraction of the pulque from
the stems of cacti is done by hollow
ing out a sort of a cup in one end and
letting the sap, flqw into Jt^w.hicJh.it
does very quickly. Then it is emptied
into a gourd, which is carried to the
pulque dealer. A plant will, yield from
three to ten gallons. Every pulque
shop in the City of Mexico has a name
peculiarly its own, such as 'Delights
of Life,' 'The Smile,' 'The Charmer,'
'The Hope,' 'The Rainbow,' 'The Image
of Jesus,' 'The Inspiration' and a lot
of others of a similar nature. Pulque
when taken in large quantities is in
toxicating. It forms the principal
drink of the Mexicans and is a thin,
whitish fluid, with the odor of sour
milk."Washington Star.
His Upturned Face.
The youthful orator came down
from the platform at the close of his
address, and many people pressed for
ward to shake him by the hand. He
accepted their congratulations with a
smiling face, but his eyes were on a
certain auditor who lingered, in his
seaft The young lecturer pressed
through the throng about him and
extended his hand to the waiting
"I .want to thank you," he said,, "for
the close attention you gave my re
marks. Your upturned face was in
spiration to me. I am sure you never
changed your earnest attitude, during
my lecture."
"No," said the man, "I have a stiff
The Same Old Stories.
When Adam courted Eve. they say
AYith certain Jests they whileu the hours
Ot blissful indolence away
Amid the zephyrs and the flowers.
And Noah would those, stories tell
Unto his sons when it grew dark,
The gloomy tedmm to dispel
Which sometimes settled o'er the ark.
And 'round full many a, campfire bright
Those yarns have sent a merry thrill
They were recited with delight.
At Troy and likewise Bunker Hill.
And now the Congressman comes out
And cons them o'er with guileless glee,
And scatters them around about
And all is blithe as blithe can be.
All of the Same Religion.
When the late Charles Godfrey Lie
land was editing in New York The
Knickerbocker Magazine, he gave
inquire after names, I bluntly pre- among literary people. UJ
sented a man. I did not know as There arose at on of'these racep-
Count Solms. You see, there are so tions a noisy, argument about religion,
many Count Solms that the king To quiet them Mr. Leland cried out
could not possibly know them all by
sight. On the other hand, a man
whose name might be Muller or
Schultze was not likely to take i'.
ery much amiss if he were present
ed as Count Solms, which, after all,
is a good family name. I got out of
my difficulty in this manner on more
than one occasion and it neve/
weekly reception that was popular
in a voice loud enough to be heard
above all:
"Intelligent persons are all of. the
same religion."
A lull ensued. Sosae one said:
"What religion is that?"
"That,'' answered Mr. Leland, *'is
what,, intelligent persons never tell.''
Wanted Their Money's Worth.
Ruth McEriery Stuart, the Southern
authoress, was taken suddenly ill the
other evening, when giving a reading
lb a church ia New Haven, Conn., and
was obliged to stop and return to her
home in New York. The church, re
fused to pay her.
World's Finest Dry Dock.
The San Francisco Dry Dock com
pany has just completed at Hunters
Point one of the'flnoat dry docks in
the world. It is large enough for two
battleships at one time and can be
Dumped out in two hours.
In rural England the time that cor
responds to the American Thanks
giving is the time for the celebration
of the marriage ceremonies among
the farm folks. They have their
codes of customs that are adhered to
in the toost rigid manner and which
have been handed down from genera
tion to generation until their origin
is lost in obscurity.
The ceremonies never take place
before the harvest is gathered, and
then the entire community has its
part in the affair. Some of the cus
toms are deeply tinged with supersti
tion, but have an undercurrent of sen
timent that makes them interesting.
In the eastern counties of England,
particularly in Norfolk and Suffolk,
the old world ways-survi
of the fens the elder of two girls in
a family is always anxious to marry
before her younger sister, -for if the
junior should be led to the altar first
then it is incumbent upon the older
girl to open the festivities by dancing
alone upon the turf in the farm yard.
In doing this she is given a chance
to win a husband for herself, as it
is a law of tradition that if a youth
takes pity upon her lonely state af
evidenced by her performance he
may join herjn the dance. This aci
on his part is a declaration of his de
sire to marry her and her chance foi
refusal is exceedingly small.
The fact that she was compelled
to dance alone is taken as an indica
tion that she could not get a husband
in the ordinary way and should be
glad to accept the first who offers
In the western counties of Glouces
tershire, Somerset, and others, the
same custom prevails to a lesser de
gree, and in addition, the girl is ex
pected to wear a pair of green stock
In Suffolk the wedding cake is not
an institution, but it is a rare thing
for a 'wedding breakfast to be cele
brated without the presence of,the
old fashioned suet pudding, a huge
spherical affair, bathed in a thick
beef gravy.
In Devonshire the farm wedding is
not really a wedding if at some
period of the feast there does not ap
pear a bowl of "junket," a dish com
posed of milk curdled by the use of
rennet and flavored with sugar,
spices and cream.
In the island of Jersey the true
natives, as distinguished from the
later French and English settlers,
have one exceedingly pretty custom
connected with their marriage cere
After the wedding service is ended,
and before the newly wedded couple
take possession of the house that is
to be their home, the procession stops
at the front porch, over which in all
proper Jersey homes there is a big
slab of granite. While the bride and
grodm wait nearby the friends of the
groom climb up to the slab and carve
the record of the wedding in the
stone. The initials of the husband
and wife always- appear in the rude
inscriptions along with the day and
year of the ceremony. Over the ini
tials are chipped two hearts, entwin
ed in a sort of lover's kndt. Once
this public record of the marriage is
inscribed the young couple is at lib
erty to take possession of the home.
In Wiltshire the rustics have a cus
tom that resembles in form the much
feared charivari of the United States.
There the bridal party is followed
home by all the boisterous element of
the community and given what is
called a "merry music," which is
nothing less than a noisy serenade
with every conceivable contrivance
for making a noise.
The Scots have a custom that has
existed for ages and is called "creel
ing the bridegroom." The day after
the wedding his friends appear at
his home with a large creel or bas
ket filled to the top with stones, and
pthis the unhappy bridegroom must
fasten to his back, and so burdened
run about the streets with his friends
hfefceels to see that he does not
&iUM ion
him to get rid of this burden and
that is for the bride to run after him
and kiss him. It is often the case
that she hesitates long before gain
ing courage enough to face the crowd
and so rescue her tormented hus
In ^Cumberland and the lake dis
tricts there is a pretty custom that
accompanies the marriage service
proper. It is called giving the "dow"
purse, and as nearly as can be learn
ed had its origin in the time of the
The ceremony requires that the
groom shall in advance provide him
self with a silken purse containing
money in a sum proportionate with
his means. It, used toe be the rule
that this should be in gold, but the
rigidity of the rule has been abated
in that regard. This purse the groom
carries with him to the altar and
keeps with him until that part of the
service is reached where he says
"with all my worldly goods I thee en-
dow," and thereupon he empties the
coins into a bag or a silk handker
chief which one of the bridemaids
holds out in behalf of the~bride.
In some of the larger factory dis
tricts it is the custom for' all the
workmen to take cognizance of a fel
low worker's marriage by" receiving
him in absolute silence on the day
after his wedding, and to all appear
ances disregarding his existence until
the noon hour. Then they make up
for their neglect by creating the
greatest volume of noise their ingenu
ity can devise. The noise is kept up
for quite a period of time and then
the victim is consoled by the formal
presentation of a gift to which all his
associates have contributed a part.
One of the Many Strange Things That
May Easily Be Done.
Of the many curious things, which
may be done with a pack of fifty-two
cards, perhaps the most interesting,
is the "spelling out" of an entire suit.
To do this take the-thirteen cards of
any suit, place them face up, and ar
range them in this manner: 96--&
Jack10572-^-King81 4
Queen. When they aire thus placed
they are faced up, with the nine on
top,*and the Queen on the bottom.
Now turn them over so tint thty I
prop it There is only one warforl are face down with the Que** on top.! not revert to odious Easterr wars.
Defective Page
Take the top card and place it under
neath the pack and say "O": place the
next card underneath the pack in the
same way and say "N," and the nexi
card turn face up orf the table, saying
"E"ONE. Leaving "E" face up,
place the next top card underneath the
pack, saying "T," the next the same
way, saying "W," and the next la
face up on the table, saying "O"
TWO, and so on through the suit.
Remember, when you come to the
last letter of a card to lay that card
face up on the table, leaving it there
When you have laid put the ten spoi
vou continue by spelling out JAC
K and QUEEN.
Of course, after you have laid the
Jack out you have only two cards
left, but continue as before and the
Queen will come out, leaving only
the King in your hand, which, of
course, you lay on the others, com
pleting the suit.
Englishwoman Wife of Ruler of Indian
Native State.
Away up in the north of India, in
the Punjaub, is a native state called
Patiala, whose queen, is an English
girl who went out there as governess
a few years ago. She was pfetty
Florence Smith, bright and captivat
ing, and not afraid of work, or of ven
turing into strange lands in order to
make a living. She was engaie by
the late Maharajah to teach h's young
er children, and in doing that 3he cap
tivated the heart of the ruler's eldest
son and heir, who insisted upon mar
rying her. Florence had no idea of
playing a part as one of several wives,
after the Indian fashion, but stipulated
that she should be.the prince's sole,
lawful consort.
More than that, when the old Ma
harajah died recently, she had her
husband, now succeeded to the throne,
proclaim her Maharanee, or reigning
queen, and as such she now shares
with him the government of the coun
try over which the two preside. Patiala
has a population of over a million and
a half and a territory extending over
some six thousand square miles, not a.
bad* little kingdom for a governess to
pick up in the course of her travels.
Qneen Florence is said to be a wise
and just ruler and to keep a strict
watch on her husband that he does.
Poor Ending of Bishop's Efforts to
Preserve Harmony.
An eminent Canadian bishop lately
paid a visit of inspection to a lunatic
asylum near Toronto. Before introduc
ing the bishop to one of the inmates
the physician in Charge warned him
not to cross or contradict the unfor
tunate man, but to agree with all he
"If you humor him," said the physi
cian, "you will doubtless find him
agreeable, intelligent, and apparently
sane, his only mania being that every
body is conspiring against him."
The bishop assented, and was soon
conversing amicably with the lunatic,
who finally said:
"I see Queen Victoria is married
"Fmer^welloh! of course," as
sented the bishop, after some natural
hesitation, in view of the queen's
"So she's married President McKin
ley, has she?" queried the lunatic
This arbitrary mating of two of the
world's illustrious dead was almost
too much for the bishop to sanction,
even in the interests of peace and har
mony, but he finally managed to ac
quiesce with fairly good grace.
"Well, who are you, anyway?"
blurted out the lunatic.
"I am a minister of the Gospel," re
plied the bishop.
"Humph!" retorted the lunatic
"you look like a parson and you dress
like' a parson,^ but you lie like a
All Previous Drummers' Records Beat
en by This.
"Greatest man to jump into a town
and get acquainted with folks I ever
saw, Jap Johnson was," said a travel
ing man. "Give Jap a night and a day
in a country place and everybody there
would call him by his first name, and
he'd call everybody the same way,
even the girls. In forty-eight hours
he'd know every man, woman, child,
horse, dog and cat in the town, ant'
could tell who married who, who got
drunk once,"in a while and who had fits
of rheumatics. Give him three days in
a town and he'd have every bit of the
gossip and old, musty scandals that
even went over the back fences of
that town. He was a wonderful man,
Jap was, and he could sell goods like
a house afire.
"The biggest thing he ever did,
though, was about four yearls ago. He
j^^j^j^-%4,4iod-^fouY- 'hours-' to'ispeft'd
Noah as a Financier.
The Rev. Theodore L. Cuyler was
a guest at the dinner of the Monroe
society last year and propounded the
following conundrum:
"Why was Noah the greatest finan
cier of his time?"
& As no one could answer he ^ave the
diners a year to think it over. Being
prevented from attending the dinner
this year, he telegraphed the answer
to his Query of the previous year.
"Noah was able to. float a stock
company at a time when all his con
temporaries were forced into involun
,tary liquidation."New York Times.
4It is the'organ of ALL Afro-Americans.
5It is not controlled by any ring or clique.
6-It asks no support but the people's.
town cut West. In that time he sold
two bales of goods, was invited to
dinner by the mayor, decided four
bets, was referee in a dog fight, pro
posed marriage and was accepted by
the belle of the placed borrowed five
dollars from her pa, beat another man
two games of billiards, and, it hap
pening to be election day, he capped
the whole by sailing in and having
himself selected town clerk by a ma
jority of eleven votes."
Too Precious.
A village clergyman has this choice
bit among his annals: One day he
was summoned in haste by Mrs.
Johnston, who had been taken sud
denly ill. He went in some wonder,
because she was not of his parish, and
was-known, to be devoted to her own
minister, the Rev. Mr. Hopkins. While
he was waiting in the parlor, before
seeing the sick woman, he beguiled
the time by talking with her daugh
"I am very much pleased to know
your mother thought of me in her ill-
ness," he said. "Is Mr. Hopkins
The young lady looked unfeignedly
"No," she said. "Oh, no! But we're
afraid it's something contagious, and
we didn't like to run any risks."-
Youth's Companion.
Why He Envied Lipton.
Sir Thomas Upton's .proposed visit
to New York in June brings that
amiable yachtsman once more to the
",I never cross the ocean in a big
liner," said he when last here with his
yacht the Erin, "without thinking of
an old employe who dearly loved John
Barleycorn. Meeting me at the
Queenstown docks one day he said:
'There's only one time in my life I
envy ye, Sir Thomas!'
'When's that?' I asked.
'That's when ye come all the way
from Ameriky as a saloon passen-
ger.' "New York Times.
No Plumbers in Heaven.
Rain had fallen almost steadily for
several days) Johnny, the plumber's
son, was displeased, as the dampness
kept him in the house. Ohe^pvening
he said to his father:
"The angels can't be very thought
ful of the people down here, or they'd
have their leaky pipes fixed."
Then ttie lad's business instinct as
serted itself: "Pop, why don't you
go to heaven?" he asked after a mo
ment's cogitating. "Maybe there ain't
any plumbers tiere, and you'd get the
Marks on the Body Intended by Na
ture to Foreor4ain Disposition and
CareerRight Side of the Body the
Most Favorable.
Said the old nurse of the newly ar
rived baby she had come to see:
"This child's going to be pretty and
grow up to make a fine marriage.
She's got a mole just above her mouth
on the right side and that sign never
Moles on the right side of the body
generally are symbolical of good.
Moles on the left side, considered as a
whole, indicate adverse fortune for
Ihe possessor.
A mole on the back of the neck de
notes a happy, successful life, but indi
ates that the possessor must beware
of the water, should keep an eye on
the safety, rope when surf bathing and
be careful about going .put in small
boats with inexperienced skippers, for
this is an indication of an untimely
end by drowning, coupled with the
good fortune in this horoscope.
A brown or honey-colored mole on
the edge of the chin indicates for the
baby of either sex a felicitous mar
riage and long life. If such, a chin
mole be black the meaning is re
A mole in the hollow of the chin de
notes a quarrelsome, contentious dis
f'position, while a mole of any color en
a woman's under lip signifies improvi
dence, folly and slothfulness.
A mole on the left side of the upper
lip forbodes celibacy and a close-fisted
disposition in man or woman, and
also indicates that existence will be
A mole on the throat is an un
lucky omen, meaning trial and misfor
A girl baby having a mole on the
left side of the forehead will be mar
ried twice and be apt to be estranged
from her kin people and perhaps re
side in foreign lands.
A mole on the right side of the fore
head indicates a person of independ
ent ideas and one apt to take the irn
tiative in enterprises. Explorers and
inventors have this mark. If the mo]-.
so situated is. of pronounced size and
color, it betokens the inheritance ci
legacies and handling of much mciley.
Moles opposite each other on both
sides of the neck or chest foretell
struggle^fjor:::.wJtia.tever., is the- pos&esp.-k^,
sor's aim in life, whether it be tamo,
or a love match, or for some pet prin
ciple or hobby. No smooth or flov.e
path awaits the possessor of such,
birthmarks, though victory aud
achievement may be the ultimate w3.
A mole on the right side of the up
per lip, just a suspicion above th^
mouth, means rare good fortune. A.
girl child so blessed is bound TO
married between the age of 19 and i'
and become an excellent wife and ex
emplary mother. Health, diseieticn
and engaging qualities are her endow
ment. A boy baby with this mark hr-1-
the prospect of a successful caret:
honored and beloved by his contem
Joy attends tho= persons wiih
aoles on the right legs or thighs. Th-\v
ill not only have abounding goodi
nek, but will be of the disposition ic
onstrue all things for good and ere
ite their own happiness.
A mole or two on the right foci be
tokens an equable, peace-loving tem
perament and a moderate degree oi
success in business undertakings.
A mole on,the arm just above the
wrist, if on the right side, is a hapyy
omen, insuring love and the esteem oi
friends and associates to the possessor
during a long life. A mole similarly
situated on the left arm signifies tc:r
power of fascination, but indicate*
fickle fortunes for the bearer.New
York Sun.
thought Perhaps Somebody Might
Want to Get Off.
When the Berks and Lehigh railroad
was built, some years back, one of tho
spots to be honored with a small!
frame shed and the title of "station"
was a little out of the way place in
Lehigh county, while the position of
^station master" was given to a near
by farmer. The latter's acquaintance
with railroads was very slight, and on
receiving his instructions he was told:
among other things that it was merely
a flag station, and trains would stop
only to let somebody on or off and:
that if he wanted to stop any train he
must "flag" it.
One day shortly after his appoint
ment the noon express train drew up
in obediencce to the red flag he had
displayed. The conductor stepped
briskly off and called "All aboard!"
and a moment later turned to the sta
tion master and asked: "Aren't there/
any passengers to get on?"
"Well, none as 1 know of," repliel
the agent, with a puzzled look.
"Then why did you stop the train?'"
shouted the irate conductor.
"I didn't know," said.the other. 'h\n
?ome one might want to get o/f."
Philadelphia Ledger.
Doea Noninflammable Wood Tarnisto?
It having been asserted that chests
jf nonThflammable wood had the ef
fect of tarais1iin# the- mietal buttons
rf the uniforms- that-mighr bes|t ira
:hem, the British Admiralty inaugu
rated a test by packing away a uni
'orm in one of these receptacles and
mother in a chest of ordinary wood*.-,,
ind opening them after two years!/
fhe tes has proved inconelusivet"
iowrer, and the uniforms will be
ijob/ earM i*lr
up in the chests for another

xml | txt