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Vol. XLVI. Jackson, Mississippi, Wednesday, January 3, 1883. No. 1. The tut Internal Revenue tax is wholly war tax. The war has been over near ly eighteen years. The Senate refused to concur in the goose resolution to adjourn.but Congress look holiday nevertheleaa. The latest estimate of the United gtates Department ogriculture places year's total com product of the country at 1,625,000,000 bushels. A railhoad commission bill, similar a ... . -i.il.-1 in tin 1 mi' nntl' in auam. 10 mosi iwvw vr.. w "r,a taon in Alabama and Georgia, has paaaed SI eiith Carolina Legislature. iv . The Senate has adopted a resolution Jninir tho thntrin tiiv it. will OIll IVmv mm wvwmm rphat.p oil th tnTis alrpfld v v . - PUlil Oil CIWU nit. 1 v . xuia 10 uuii . i ...1. . . .. ll.lll.l I I.I.I . ., I.,. 1..:. JIUl. The Mississippi Valley Horticultural Society will hold its fourth annual meet ing in New Orleans, commencing Fcbru- gjppi Will oe wen iepri.-Bciii.eu. Texas can boast the most magnifi cent school fund of any State in the Union. In addition to over $4,000,000 000,000 acres of land valued at $1 60 an are. The public debt still amounts to more F 1 ii 1 lie 1111 II. ,111 l - about thirty dollars for every man, woman and child in the country. Of the Internal Revenue tax, which WC UUUlwiv. v.g"w w' -"- wwviujuwj linsippi paid last year $ 94,098, and of this sum, $21,000 were paid to the offi cials in the internal revenue service. For the five months which ended with November last, the number of immi grants arriving in the United States was 244,611, against 291,320 for the corres ponding term in 1881 a falling off of AK7M 1 The New Orleans, St. Louis and Chi cago railroad has lately had built at their shops in Water Valley, a "hospital Car, W) ow usou mien iiuuiuciiwj tobi. It is finished with every convenience and medical and surgical instruments. Fifty laborers left Vicksburg on the 28th for Anthony's Ferry to aid in the construction of the Memphis and Vicks burg Railroad. Six new steam engines and about fifty cars have already been received for the Memphis and Vicksburg LMnA I11 Uliaafaciii-it-hi Vnllmr 'i 1 11) Mllin Island Kail roads. S. J. Randall: "A thorough reform and sinnilifieatinri nf t.lir tariff1 laws is necessary and should be proceeded with as speedily as possible. The internal taxes are offensive to the people as a mode of raising revenue in this country, and they have been submitted to only as a necessity resulting from the war." Sensible talk. Hayes, the Albany Express declares, was a mere nobody,, who came into office with a clouded title, and who always acted as though he felt ashamed of him self, as, indeed, most people were for bim. He was but a sorry figure in the chair of Washington, Jeflerson and Jack- on, and he has already been forgotten ucept as an incident. It has lieen suggested that if the re- ant legislation of Congress fails to sup press the abomination of polygamy in Utah, the Congress to which belongs the exclusive management of the Territory bhould abolish the legislative assembly, ptamp out its entire polygamous features, Pd control it with an authority deriving power from the federal government. It would seem that the supervision poli- and the office of Railroad Commission- i have not retarded Railroad develop entinOhio. The report of the Ohio MnmiNsioner for the year ending June V shows a gain of 10J per cent, in the nber of miles iu operation, and cgaie capital stock: a gain oi nearly sr cent. The total gross earnings W nil I r, ...-... I i. -I iiont t in ftl net earninjrs. an increase of per , o II Hi' U..i . I ' 11., . liiiinltj - i. in vii qiiiii: ji niuci.." ... J I I i1 t rrfii 1 1 1 i. man iimiiii nuk'tnir i I 1"".-. ' i v.oi'i u I Hill ......... . . make the ( "Jnirirniasioner of Arrrieul- Ba lllliml nHir.nr. "liiu II ll l ll II t 111 (' 1 1 1 ..."iiii i VI1I1V VI um I I to lie influenced by politicians." This repetition of what the National G range fill t V. . .ill,.,. Qinln nmnirnii 1 U VO - mv 'll III I I I.IM VIitliiK' ' I'ed ; but Congress is alow to net. If Grangers are not a power in the land, not because they do not represent have tried the virtue of rcaolu- . suppose they try, what virtue tnere what politicians will heed more NEWS AID NOTES. J. H. Ijaxna, President of the Tennettaee Asylum for the Deaf and Dumb, died at Kuoxville, on ths 24th, of congestion of the brain. A Honey Grove special says : At La- donia, Tex., on the 24th, Wm. Vaughan mortally wounded the two brothers Boone, great grandsons of Daniel Boone, of Ken- tacky fame. The difficulty grew out of some little dispute about potatoes. One hundred men are in pursuit of the mur derer. Robert I. Alcock, a prominent voting member of the Glasgow (Ky.) bar, died on the 24th, after a long illness. The Dallas Herald says 275,000,000 feet of pine lumber were cut in Texas last year. Mrs. Myra J. Osborn and her son, Ollie, aged 17 years were found dead in their sleeping apartments in New Castle, InJ. It is generally supposed the mother pois oned her son and then committed sui cide. Another murder at Cincinnati. 'James Chumley shot Thomas Lamb; livery stable e mployees ; both drunk. A collision of freight trains occurrta on the 25th, on the Chesapeake and Qhio railway, by which five men were killed and two wounded. The Methodist chuch at Amite City, Miss., was burned on the 25th. The, Sre originated from a defective flue. At Augusta, Georgia, a colored man at tempted to outrage a white girl near Mil len, Georgia. She was going through the woods from her father's to her b rot her- in law's residence, half a mile distant. When the negro assaulted her, he cut her across the breast severing her clothes; she rusisted, calling loudly for help, and frightegad the miscreant off without accomplishing his purpose. Subsequently the negro was arrested, and while on the way to jail a mob took him from the officers and lynched him. Daniel Bennett, one of the oldest Masons in this community, died of pneumonia Sunday morning, and was buried by the fraternity yesterday. The amendment of Senator Blair, of New Hampshire, to the Pendlatoa civil service reform bill is exciting a gVet dealt of, comment among the department em ployees. The amendment is that no person habitually using intoxicating liquors shall be employed or retained in any of the de partments. Bessie Bye, aged 15 years, and her sister, aged 10, were both drowned at Merriton, Ont., on the 20th. The youngest sister at tempted to rescue the eldest, who had broken through the ice while skating on the canal. An Arkadelphia Bpecial to the Gazette says, Lou 1. Jvretsc inner, secretary oi the State Senate two years ago, and widely known throughout the State, suicided by shooting himself in the head. At Bedford, (Ind.) Mrs. Bell obtained permission of Mrs. Owens, the jailor's wife, to talk in the corridor with her husband, imprisoned for murder. Mrs. Owens being called away, Mrs. Bell quickly gave her husband a revolver, and in an adjoining room got the keys and gave them to him, with which he made his eacape. Mrs Owens returned and tried to prevent the escape, but was held by Mrs. Bell. Capt. A. C. Nutt, cashier of the Penn sylvania State Treasury, was shot and in stantly killed, by N. L. Dukes, a leading lawyer and member elect of the Legisla ture. The cause ot the tragedy is un known, but rumor says it grew out of the alleged fact that Dukes had been intimate ith Capt. Nutt's eldest daughter, and that at the time of the killing the Captain was demanding justice for the girl. At Varner Station, Arkansas, a negro named Charley C. Branch, ravished and murdered a colored girl nine years old He was arrested, and intense excitement prevails, and threats of hanging by a mob At Grosbeck, Ohio, Dr. ttankin and Mr Godfrey were chasing cattle on horseback when their horses collided, knocking Mr. Godfrey down and fracturing his skull He cannot recover. We congratulate our friends at Utica uoon their prospect of having a good neswspaper at an early day. Mr. George L. Crosby, who has the exjR-nence and nLilitv to conduct a live paper, has lpascd the Crystal Sprinars Monitor fron Dr. Hunter, and will publish it at mat point. HOKTICU LTUEA L MMtTIN'O. An or imniraHmi lf the Northwest knOWll .1 the Mississippi Valley Horticultural Society, will come down to New Orleans on an excursion, where it will hold its fourth amial mcetin?. beirinniiiir on the 21st of February and continuing fou days. It will be a good meeting to at tend, no doubt, as it wfll show us some thing of how our Northern horticultural friends run n society. OYER THE STATE. Greenville Times : A thrifty planter of Sunflower county, who has disregarded the universal swamp custom and mad fifteen hundred bushels of corn for sale, was yes terday offered 75 cent a bushel for it by on of our merchants. He de clined the offer, saying that he could get that price for it at the crib. The bored well is 930 feet deep, and no water. The Observer thinks it .only 300 or 400 feet lower down. Britton Mims, colored, indicted for man slaughter in the Circuit Court of Wash ington county, was acquitted for killing another fellow who meddled with his do mestic affairs. Natchez Democrat: From our corres pondent at Carpenter's station on the N. & C. Bailread, we learn that the gin h6use belonging to Col. T. A. Nutt, near Carpenter, was destroyed by fire a day or two since, with some seven or eight bales of cotton. The insurance was small. The recent heavy rain did great dam age to the road bed and bridge on the line f the N.O. & N. E. R. R. We learn that the bridge across Chunky at Enterprise was washed away, and that the trains have been delayed in consequence of it. The company have been refusing to receipt for cotton at Pachuta since the rains. Track laying has been delayed and we hear that the engine of the work train and the cars are separated, the bridges between the two being out of repair. James Barclay, aged eighteen, was fatally shot at Longview, Texas, by an unknown person. A race riot occured at Okonee, Georgia, on the 30th, in which Asa Lawson was killed and Marshall Webster and Lon Williams mortally wounded all white men. Three colored men, brothers, Andy Jefferson and Squire Washington were dangerously wounded. Several others of both races Were injured. At New Philadelphia, Ohio, on the 30th, a young man named Rex and a girl named Shearer, recently Miss Shearer shot Rex twice, mortally wounding him. She says he tried to break into her room after being warned away. Mary Isabella Martin, who tu tried in the District Court at Emporia, Kansas, for the murder of Mrs. Loraine M. Keeger, and who has been feigning iuaanity sinco the verdict of guilty was rendered, has been pronounced sane by a board of physi cians, and was sentenced to be hanged. The National Cotton Planters' Associa tion has extended the time of receiving bids as to the location of the Cotton Cen tennial Exposition until March 1st. D. L. Young was appointed to succeed L. Leverett as P. M. at Wicona; At Winona on the 30th there were large parties of men starting off iu every direc tien hunting horse thieves. There havn been a good many horses and mules stolen from this section of Mississippi during this week, and last night two mules were recov ered close to Winona tied in the woods, but they failed to find the thieves. It is believed about Winona and neighborhood that there is a well-organized band of horse thieves all over that portion of the State. Edward Daley, of the Vicksburg & Mer idian Railroad, the engineer whose engine ran over a cow and jumped the track, died at Meridian on the 27th, from injuries re ceived. Our sprightly contemporary, the Port Gibson News, comes to hand with the salutatory of Hon. A. J. Lewis iu the editorial department of the paper. Be is no novice in journalism, and with expe rience brings an able pen and a store house of information on political subjects from which to draw for the benefit of his readers. Porkiribson has now be come a railroacT and manufacturing city. She is the seat of justice of one of the wealthiest counties in the State; and boasts institutions of learning second to none others in the State, and why should she not have two thorough-going, live newspapers, like the Reveille and the News? Prospects of Tariff Revision. Washington, Pee. 29. The Ways and Means Committee to-day considered the Tariff Commission's schedule of wool and woollens. None but verbal changes were made to-day except in the item of woollen rags, shoddy, and flocks, on which the rate was changed from 12 to 10 cents per pound. The free trade clement, led by Mr. Carlisle, strongly opposed the rates recommended. 1 4 T1 . I I I , .. .... .vir. .lonn j. naves, rrcsidcnt ot the Tariff Commission, says that the com mittee is doing just as the Commission 11 1 J I I At ... 1 wouiu nave aone una time permitted. It is putting in an article here and there mid completing the classification rather than materially changing the rates n commended by the Commission. He thinks the committee will be ready to report in two weeks, and that the. tariff will be revised at the present session of Congress. A Bankrupt Bill. A bill is lending in the United Stato Senate to establish a permauent Bank ruptcy system. It has been debated at considerable length. The arguments against it are contained in the following pithy speech of Senator Williams of Kentucky on a motion of Senator Brown of Georgia to indcfinatly postpone the bill. Mr. WILLIAMS. 1 do not propose, Mr. President, to disenss the relative merits of the two bills before the Senate, because I do not see much merit in either of them. 1 am oposed to both the substitute and the original bill, ami I shall vote for the motion of the Senator from Georgia. No considerable portion of the American peo ple have asked for any bankrupt law at this time. The whole proposition comes from a few merchants in the great cities. I do not see much difference my self be tween the two bills. Both contain the same objectionable features; both propose to give to a creditor the power to coerce his debtor into voluntary bankruptcy on the one side, and the debtor the right on the other of beiug absolved from all hia indebtedness by applying to a bankruptcv court for a discharge from his indebted ness. Now, sir, involuntary bankruptcy is a most cruel and harsh proceeding by which a creditor obtains a sort of cut-throat claim on the property of the debtor, which ho may en tore upon suspicions aroused in his mind by a rival merchant and insti tute proceedings which may result in the utter -ruin of a proxperous business; and it makes no difference whether the basis of the action is a constructive or a real in solvency or whether the man be insolvent at the beginning or not, he is sure to be so before ho gets through. Tills whole idea of administering upon live men's estates before they die is utterly repugnant Jo the humane genius of our institution. The old way was much bet ter, when the merchants compounded with their debtors. When a retail merchant or country merchant found that his busi ness waa not prospering he said to his creditors. "I cannot pay more than forty or fifty cents in the dollar; here are all my assets ; I surrender them to you." His proposition was accepted at once ; he gave security and started in business again, and the very men who released bim, again sold him bills of goods at once ; and he went on. But it is not so under your bankrupt laws. 1 hav said this much of the involun tary leature oi me proposed bills; now as to the voluntary feature. The idea of allowing a man upon his own application to a court of bankruptcy to absove him self from all pecuniary liability, in my judgement, is to loosen the very bonds .which hold society together, and open the door to nil sorts of fraud. No bankrupt law can can be justified except upon occa sions ot great necessity, ot public ealamity, when the country is overwhelmed bv himn elal distress produced by causes which could not be foreseen ; and oven then such a law should, like the Jewish jubilee, be of short duration, and not become hurrah ed us a permanent policy in the laws of the country. Wo have had three bankrupt laws, and each became so odi ns to the country that the people rose up and demanded its re peal. Why, sir, bankrupt courts hv been graveyards of all the estates brought into them. Nothing has come out; no body lias made money and got rich but the officers of the courts, the assignees, the registers, and the chrks: A bankrupt es tate in my country was practically aban doned. 1 know of one instance when a man had a claim of several hundred dol lars, eight hundred or a thousand dollars, against a bankrupt estate. Jle employed a lawyer, who charged him a fee olS'ioO: and he got $tl I for his claim $(!4 where he hail paid $J jU to his lawyer. That has been the experience of all. Thcv are uter ly disgusted with it. The country does not want it ; no considerable portion of our people nave demanded it. mere Is no time or necessity now for enacting it ; and 1 shall vote for the indefinite postpone tnent, as proposed bv the Senator from Georgia Mn. BROWN. tin tne motion to postpone, there were 26 ayes, and 34 nays. Louisiana 1ms adopted a liberal po icy to encourage the Investment of capi tal in that State. Article 207 of her Constitution savs: "There shall be exempt frera taxation and license for a period of ten years from the adoption of this constitution, the cap ital, machinery and other property cm ployed in the manufacture of textile fab rics, leather, shoes, harness, saddlery, hats, flour, machinery, agricultural Implement and furniture, and other articles of wood, marble or stone; soap, stationerv, ink and paper, Iwat-building and chocolate ; pro vided,. that not less than five hands are em ployed in any one factory." The object of all ambition should be to be happy at home. If we are not happy there we cannot be happy else where. A family of Madison, Ohio, nineteen years ago purchased a paper of pins; when pin was needed it was taken from the paer, and after it had served its purpose was replaced. If a pin was lost, generally search wns made until it was found. By this way the one paper of pins has kept the family supplied for nineteen years. "Yonder go the most disobliging couple in our neighborhood." "You surprise me; please explain." "Oh! they always close the windows when they have a row." A fair and buxom widow, who hns buried three husbands, recently went with a gentleman, who, in his younger days, had paid Iter marked attention, to inspect the graves of her dear departed. After contemplating them in mournful sileme, she murmured to her companion: "Ah I James, you might have been in that row now if you hud only had a lit tle more courage." WISE WORDS. No man can be successful who neglects his businesn. No rank can shield us from the impar tiality of death. If you would succeed in life, rise early and be an eeonomi-t of time. Publish your joys, but conceal your sorrows. Much learning shows how little mor tal kuows. Experience and wisdom are the best fortune-tellers. Vain glorv is a flower which never conies to fruit. The seed of our punishment is sown at the same time we commit sin. Faith steps iu to our aid when our boasted reason and knowledge fail. While vou look too much on others' gardens, you will neglect your own. Crimes sometimes shock us too much; vices almost alwavs too little. To succeed one must sometimes be very bold and sometimes very prudent. All deception in the eotirssvof life is. indeed, nothing else but a he reduced to practice, and falsehood passing from words into tilings. Perseverance is the crown of all the other virtues, and the characteristic of heroes. It is a small thing to begin ; we must persevere to the end. We are taught to clothe our minds, us we do our liodies, alter the fashion m vogue, and it is accounted fantastical. or something worse, not to do so. The dualities we possets never make us so ridiculous as those we pretend to have. One who :s never busy can never rest, or one implies relief from previous la xir. Those who blow the coals of others' strife may ehasoe to have the sparks fly in their own faces. Though charity may tend to make your purse lighter one day, yet it will make it heavier another. If a man speaks or acts with n pure thought, happiness follows like a shad ow that never leaves him. Every man's vanity ought to bo his greatest shame, and every man's folly ought to be Ins greatest secret. Looking to others for our standard of happiness is a, sure way U be miserable. Our business is with our own heart. 1 know no real worth but that tran quil firmness, which seeks dangers by uuty, and braves them without rash ness. If you would find a great many faults lie on the lookout, but if vou want to find them in unlimited numbers be on the look in. Deceit is the false rond to happiness; all the joys wc truvel through to vice, like fairy liiiixpicts vanish when we touch them. Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as strong to think. Perfect ignorance is (uict, perfect knowledge is quiet; not so the transition from the former to the later. From the manner in which praise and blame arc dealt out in this world an honest man ought to covet deianuition. If we practice goodness not for the sake of its own intrinsic excellence, but for the sake of gaining some advantage by it, we may be cunning, but We arc not goi id. Nothing so increases reverence for others as a great sorrow to one's self. It teaches on the depths of human na ture. In happiness we are shallow and deem others so. He who betrays another's secret, be cause be has quarreled with him, was never worthy of the name of friend ; a breach of kindness will not justify a breach of trust. Be courageous and noble-minded; our own heart, and not other men's opinions of us, forms our true honor. I think all lines of the human face have something either touching or grand unless they seem to come from loW pas sions. How tine old men are. When necessity ends curiosity begins, and no sooner are we supplied with everything that nature can demand than we sit down and contrive artificial ap petites. Unless a man has trained himself for his chance, the chance will only make him ridiculous. A great occasion is worth to a man exactly what his antece dents have enabled him to make it. Men have commonly more pleasure in the criticism which hurts than in that which is innocuous, and are more toler ant of the severity which breaks hearts and ruins fortunes than of that which falls jmpotently to the grave. Happiness is like manna. It is to be gathered in the grains and enjoyed every day; it will not keep, it cannot be ac cumulated; nor need we go out of our selves, nor into remote places, to gather it, ance it has rained down from heaven, at our very doors, or rather within thcui. Recall at night not only your business transactions, but what you have said of those of whom you have spoken during the day, and weigh in the balance of conscience what vou have uttered. If you have done full justice in all your re marks, it is well. If you have not, then seek the earliest opportunity to make amends, and carefully avoid a repetition of the wrong. Hardly a "Fair" Question At a re ception in London given in honor of a distinguished American who was rather dark, having been much tanned by the sun, a lady, a professional beauty, kindly inquired of the dark-complcxioiusl American "Is your tribe at pence with the whites?" CO PEEL WHAT HAVE FEET. A yoonf lady in New York via ta tin- habit of writing un tbr tuhjert of tntenipmnca. Hrr writ lug waa full of pathos, ami rrtlxmt auch derp emo tion of aoul Uiat a frk-ml arruard hrr of brlag a mania on the autiject intemperanrc, whereupon ahe wtoK ih f..lowtn touching lint: iio M what t hare ML i at what I hat born Wuk ueath a Mow a talhr deal!. -mo ia tx.ia w.ria prowl urn mwr on muu isu" to year Thy wit- relief the v'orvhtag tear. Un kneel as I have knelt, Iuiplorv, braneeh and pray Strlvn the beaotUst heart to melt. Tin tlownwaril oourae lo atay 1W danhed with oilier euran aaidc, Your prayers burlexjuea, your lean defied. ( in weep as I have wept O'er a tored father's mi. So, even prumianl Measiui ; awrpt Y outh s weetnei tonus: I to all: I.Ue a Ivlins tlocr strewed all Uie wav, ill Uu' That liroujclit me op to woman a da) . lie see what I haTO seen, MnM the strong man bow With irnaatiiiifr teeth lips bathed in blood And cold and li. id brow ; (to rateb his wltherinKKlanen and see There mirrored hia soul's Misery. (Jo to thy mother's side, And her crte.hci Iswom eheer, Thine own deep knjUiall hide. Wipe (nun hiT ebeek the bitter tear; Murk her worn Irarae and withering brow; The grey that streaks her dark hair now ; With t id. un frame ami in ml. linn llinb, And traoa the ruin hack to him Whose plighted Mth In early youth l'li mi lull eternal rose and truth; lint who foresworn had yielded up That promise to the maddening cup, And led her down through lore and IIbM, iui mi uiat in, un iter iiroinlse tingnt And elibmeil her there 'mtd want and It irlfe, That Inwlv thing a drunkanl's wlfe- Aiul stamped on ehildhiHMl'a brow, so eitld, That withering hlightlb.e. drunkard's child. (io hear, an I feel, and see and know, All that my soul has felt and known Then bak npou the wine cup'a glow , Ne if its Isniiiiy can atone Think If Its flavor you ran try, When all pie. hum 'Us drink and die? Tell me I hale the Isiwl! . Hate Is a feeble word I I loathe abhor my very sout With -itroug distrust Is atlrred When e'er I aee, or hear, or tell Of tluudark la vcrag-e "f hell. PASTIME. A woman with tiftc--The cook. Cape of Good Mope -u fur lined dol- man. The riilit bower Where your love He dreaming. Hoping for the best doesn't bring it with an intense regularity. An experienced barber never talk hair dye to it bald headed num. The size of a ruau'a foot iH not always n criterion of bin understanding. Miiniiniot are the only well-behaved pcrwuiM who arc now left in Egypt, "I'm a I'litron of Uuabandry," nald the widow wTio had nutde her fourth coupling. If "gTlenee gives consent," a man ought to have bo trouble in getting married to a mute. Girls are wore couragcoui titan men. They are ready to make a match with a fellow twice their size. A poor man's enjoyment arc just aa good ;is the rich man'. The ''corn cob stopper don't hurt the molussc-s in the jl'rt- In giving geography lessons n teacher asked a boy what State be lie in, and was aniu:ed at the reply, "A state of xin and misery." A Vermont debating society will tackle the question : "Which is the most fun to see ti mail try to thread a needle or a woman try to drive a nail?" The beat definition of "stepmother" tells us that she is a mother who spoil her own children and "tejm on thoo which she has unwillingly inherited by marriage. "What have you been doing sinco I last aw vou'.'" " "I've been attending a course of" free lectures." "A course of free lectures?" Yes; I was married a week lifter we parted." While Brother Jonathan was in town on the Kourth he took a ride on tho streetcar. Unserving that the conduc tor gave one of the passengers a check, Jonathan, on handing out bis six cents, remarked: 'tiivemea receipt, too, .Mr. Conducter, or the darned fools up homo won't believe I really had a horse-ear ride." A man that studietli revenge keepeth his own wounds green, which would otherwise heal and do well. People who fish for compliments do not need long lines. They will get their In-st bites in shallow water. A new perfume, called "kissme," is advertised. When an inexperienced clerk asked a pretty young lady what she will have, ami she says kissme, lie well, put yourself in his place. Thin party (to street urchin) "Boy, what do you Mippoge that dog is follow ing me. for! The youngster cast n know ing look at him, und readily replies, "(jiiess lie takes you for a bone!" A gentleman who had a collection of very poor pictures was joked about what he could do with them when he died. Hut he was equal to the occasion. He bequethed them to a blind asylum. An insane Hochcster girl gets out of bed at midnight and goes to work saw ing wood in tin! hack yard. Her father deeply deplores her insanity, but he al ways leaven the wtKnlpile handy for her to get at. A Chicago man has invented a cast iron table-w are that look just like por celain, and is in ecstasies when he sees a servant jirl drop half a dozen cups, and shriek with horror at obsirving their failure to break. The poet Qampbell said that a man accustomed to work was equal to any achievement he resolved on, and tltat for himself necessity, not inspiration, wai the prompter of his muse.