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THE MACON BIACON, MACON, MISS.
am LORD READING TELLS STORY Former English College Athlete It Reminded of Fact That Darda nelles Are Very Narrow. Lord Reading eaid at a luncheon In New York: "The allies' loan promises to be as plethoric as my friend Heron-Plume, who recently enlisted. "Heron-Plume had bowled for Rug by and pulled stroke for Oxford In the dear dead days beyond recall, but he went out of training afterward, and when he appeared at the club In khaki few months ago he certainly made an Imposing figure. Chest 81 Inches, you know, but a little low down. "'Where are you going to fight, Heron-Plume?" P asked, as my huge , friend sank puffing Into a chair and unfastened a couple of buttons at the er breast of bis tunic. " 'Dardanelles,' he answered. "'But, Heron-Plume,' said another man, 'don't you know the Dardanelles re frightfully narrow?'" No, Not Fallen Pedestrians. , They were out In their Rattler car and had had several breakdowns. As hubby got out his repair kit for the fifth time wife remarked: "Pity we didn't bring a squirrel along." "What for a mascot?" "No," she replied; "it could run be hind and pick up the nuts." A Premonition. "I think I'll take out that life Insur ance. It will come In very handy for wy wife at this time." "Well, Insurance is a fine thing, but you're good for forty years yet" ., "I don't know. I have a foreboding i-tta the agent is going to talk me to death." His Only Preventive. Artist (to model he has just picked up In the street) A man I had up here the other day stole two pounds when my back was turned. Would you do a thing like that? Model Oh, no, sir, I haven't the peed. London Punch. Vanished Value. "You can't get something for noth ing," said the ready-mado philoso pher. "Somebody did," exclaimed Mr. Chuggins. "The automobile I bought day before yesterday wouldn't bring half its price if i sold it today." REFORMERS. "I have always said there should be no money In politics." "Yes; everybody knows of strong effort to get it all out" your Creating "Atmosphere." "I judge this Is going to be a prob lem play." "What makes you think so?" "During every pause in the dialogue the hero drinks a highball and lights e fresh cigarette." Well Paired. "You and Orump seem to get along pretty well." "Yes. You see, he never borrows anything but trouble, and that's all I yver have to lend." Moral: Don't Get Found Out. Dix I never knew a rogue yet who wasn't unhappy. Dlx Of course not. It's the rogues who are not known who are the happy ones. X -!wir And Cajole the Cream. She I believe in always using gen tle methods. He Always? Then I suppose in stead of beating eggs you coax 'em Into a froth what? HER REMARKS WERE OMINOUS New Englander Told by Prospective Wife She la Going to "Start" With Young Minister. A New England man tells of a man In Weatfleld, Mass, who had been mar ried four times and been so unfor tunate as to lose all his wives. Such a matter of course had this man's weddings come to be in Westfleld that when, after a year of widowerhood, he announced his fifth engagement, one of the neighbors said: "Richard, I suppose getting married comes pretty natural to you by this time, doesn't It?" "Well," said Richard, after due re flection, "this fifth marriage ain't go ing to seem so natural. Old Parson Begg's off on a trip to Europe and he's never failed to tie the knot for me. "I said to Mary that I didn't think it would feel like a wedding without Parson Begg; but she said that it was her turn to choose, and that she meant to start out with that young minister that just came to town and that if he did well she guessed she'd stick to him. She didn't explain what she meant, but it sounded kinder ominous to me." Somewhat Dubious. "So your native town is having an 'old home week.' " "Yes," replied the prominent capi talist, "but I don't think I will take part In the festivities." "Why not?" "I'm not quite certain whether my old friends and neighbors look on mo as simply a successful business man or a malefactor of great wealth." REBUKED. Office Kid Aw, I wasn't makin' much noise. Stenog You were, too. The boss was explaining to his wife over the telephone and I couldn't hear a word he said. Overdid His Plea. "Yes, sir," said the tramp. "I've made a lot of money in my time. The trouble was that I didn't know enough to hang on to it. Could you let mo have a dollar?" "No, my friend," replied the strang er. "I couldn't, after the lesson you've Just taught me to hang on to mine." Detroit Free Press. Possible Explanation. Author I invariably eat a raw onion every morning before taking up my pen. Young Lady Indeed! Then I sup pose that accounts for it Author Accounts for what? Young Lady The fact that I fall asleep every time I attempt to real one of your stories. His Stock In Trade, v "Why do you smile?" asked the In dignant mourner of a stranger at a funeral. "Pardon me," replied the stranger, "but no disrespect was meant, I as sure you. I'm a hotel clerk and the smile is chronic." Scattered Around. "Nutting parties are the thing now in suburban circles. You hunt for nuts on the lawn." "But suppose you don't find any nuts on the lawn?" "Oh, you are sure to find them. They are provided liberally by the hostess.'' Two Points of View. Mrs. Newpop Mrs. Stringer is the most candid woman of my acquaint ance. Why, she frankly admitted that her baby is not as Bmart as ours. , Newpop Candid, fiddlesticks! That woman is a base hypocrite. Weary of That. "Understand me, I am always will ing to give to charity." "Yes, sir." "But I'm getting tired of having charity come to me with the smell of liquor on his breath." His One Hope. "I suppose you have high ambitions for your boy?" "Well, I wouldn't say that exactly but I do hope that he won't turn oui to be the male assistant - to a female dancing teacher." No Mortgage There. 'I have found out that the Caddys not own their house." do "How did you find it out?" "Whv. they haven't bought an auto mobile yet, have they?" All Threadbare. win Collector See here, this bill I've been bringing here so often is getting worn out and so Is my patience. Debtor Well, your welcome nas been worn out iong ago, VilW THE AMBER BEADS By ELDREDOE HOLT. He waa a traveling salesman for a toothpowder concern. She was prescription clerk in a cut rate drug store. Besides that, she had a creamy, fair complexion and light brown eyes, shaded, It is true, by a pair of rimless, gold-bowed spectacles. But that was because the light in the pharmacy of the cut-rate drug store was not of the best and there were many prescription! to fill. He had met her at the school where they make young men and here and there a young woman into druggists, so they both had their diplomas and would some time have a little drug store of their own, and thoy would not have to keep a clerk, because, no matter what happened, Alice that was her name could manage to tend store for a few hours a day. You know there is a regulation that says that every drug store must have a graduate pharmacist in constant at tendance during the day and part of the night to put up prescriptions. Of course one man cannot be at the post all of the time. Alice and Paul that was the toothpowder agent's name had it all arranged that they could save money from the first, tor since she was a registered pharma cist she could substitute in the store for the few hours that Paul would need to take off. Oh, yes, they were very matter of fact and businesslike about it and had talked over their plans for the future quite frankly. In the meantime Paul was vending toothpowder, trying to save enough money to buy his own little drug store and by careful skimping, with what savings Alice could add, it would take two years before this purchase could be made. A long time, you think? Yes, but if you had seen the steady, soft light in Alice's bespectacled eyes and the lovely blush that came iuto her creamy, pale cheeks when those eyes met Paul's, you wouldn't have wondered that he was willing to wait Moreover, to Alice and Paul, marriage was, besides being a beautiful adven ture and the one and only romance, something of a business undertaking as well. And there was no reason whatever to bo rash and hasty about it. Still, at times when Paul was on the road with his suitcase full of samples and work grew very heavy at the cut-rate drug store Alice's brown eyes grew moist and she had to take off the gold bowed spectacles and wipe away the tears, tears not of discontent, but just of loneliness and a little impatience, For Alice's mind was full of Imagining their wee home it would probably be a little flat over the drug store to begin with and two nights a week Bhe was taking cooking lessons at the Y. W. C. A. so that she would be able to concoct puddings as well as plas ters. And Paul sometimes snarled a little at the necessity that made him wait so long, and when sales were not as good as usual that meant smaller commissions fdr him he would write a letter of impatience to Alice. One particularly lovely autumn day Paul sauntered Into the cut-rate drug store. He had unexpectedly come to town and he wanted to surprise Alice. Alice dropped the test tube she was holding when she heard his voice, and, slipping out of her all-enveloping linen apron, ran out to the counter outside. "I've had a hurry call to New York, Alice," he told her, "and I've only a few minutes between trains. But I stopped over to see you. And, say, Alice. I've bad a specially good run of luck. That new patent cap top on the powder makes a big hit And I am go ing to be extravagant. I want to get you something from the big city. I can't afford the engagement ring I ought to have got you, but tell me what piece of Jewelry that doesn't coBt so very much say ten or fifteen dol lars you would most like." Alice clasped her hands before her and thought for a second. "A Btring of amber beads," she said at last. "I have always wanted them." Paul's face showed hlB disappoint ment. Somehow he had always asso ciated amber beads with the fact that some old woman he had known about wore them around their necks to ward off chills and fever. If Alice had said a gold-link bracelet, with a heart shaped padlock and a key, he would have been entirely satisfied with her choice. But Alice stuck to her plea for amber beads. "I love the color of amber so," she said, "and all my life I have dreamed of having them some time." In ten days Paul returned one morn ing, and, going straight to the cut-rate drug store, found Alice and gave her the beads. Again there was short con nection between trains, and in a few minutes he was off again. "I don't really like those beads," he said, "and I can take them back and get the money It you say so. ' I'll tell you frankly that they cost twelve dollars. I got them at a pawnshop I happened to be passing. I tried to Jew the man down, but be wouldn't listen to a cent less. You might take them to some regular jeweler and find out whether I was buncoed or not. Maybe they are only glass." Alice held the beads up to the light and reveled in the soft, golden radi ance that shone through them. "I am sure they are real amber," she said. "They are beautiful. But perhaps you bad better take them back. Twelve dollars would be Just so much more toward the store." "That's right," said Paul, "but I'm no Indian giver. They're what you wanted and they're what you shall have." And in another minute he was off with his suitcase full of samples for the next train. At noon that day Alice hurried her sandwich and hot chocolate, hastily taken at the fountain countei of the cut-rate drug store, and with her beads in her hand she. went to a neighboring Jeweler not the best in town, but one who was reliable. "I am pretty sure they are real am ber," she said, "still if it would not be too great a favor may I ask you to examine them an,d tell me what I should have paid for them?" The Jeweler looked at the beads, but ap parently shared none of the joy in their golden radiance that Alice's eyes Indicated. "Where did you get them, may I ask?" , "Oh, not in town. It waa in some pawnshop in New York. I suppose we should have known better than to trust such a place. But they were so bright and pretty I thought they were real amber." The Jeweler eyed her narrowly. "Your idea Is to sell them?" be asked. . "No, I just wanted to see what they are worth. I thought you would tell me." The Joweler lowered his voice. "I can't tell you Just the maximum price that you might be ablo to get for them. Of courso in Europe they would pay more, but traveling Is dangerous. I would bo willing personally to pay you five thousand dollars for them, perhaps a little more. Of course, if you went to New York you might get more, but then there would be the risk, and you might find a dishonest dealer." Alice thanked the Jeweler and fairly staggered out of the store, clasping her precious beads in her hand. She hardly knew whether the man had been teasing her, making fun of her glass beads, or whether she had been Insane, or at least dreaming. She made her way to the most conserva tive and most exponslve jeweler in town, unmindful that the clock on the corner pointed five minutes to the time that she ought to be back at the prescription counter. Ten minutes later Bhe was in the darkened examination room with two Jewel experts. She seemed to come to a full realization of the situation when she heard one of them explaining: "If you will look through this bead you will see the first letter. Now bold this bead up to the light and see the next letter marvelous, marvelous. I need no further proof. They are royal amber, one of a few Btrings of beads that Louis XV bad made for his favor ites. They are found only In the larg est museums now. ' Perhaps the full value of this string has not been known for a hundred years or more. I will be willing to let you have six thousand dollars for the beads. - Of course in Europe they might fetch more. If you wish to accept my offer we will have the check sent to your bank tomorrow or give it to you per sonally. Of course, in making such a large transaction we have to go through the form of consulting the treasurer of the concern. He ia out at luncheon at present." Somehow Alice got back to her post She was 15 minutes late unheard-of breach of office regulations but she did not explain. That afternoon she sent a telegram to Paul asking him to return at once to hear the good news. And that is why Alice and Paul didn't have to wait two years. In fact, they waited only long enough to find Just the coziest little drug store for J5,000 that you could imagine. And the amber beads when they have been restrung and properly mounted will be on exhlbiticn in one of the big museums, although to any but an ex pert they look much like any other string of amber beads. (Copyright, 1915. by the MeClure Newspa, per Syndicate.) Prevarication Hard to Beat, The two commercial travelers were boasting to each other of the merits of the respective fireproof safes for which they were agents. "I guess," said the first, "that we've given our safe 'some' test, and I reckon that our best trial was when wo heaped up collection of combustibles round it which took a week to burn out. In side the safe was a little dog provided with food and water. At the end of the week we raked away the embers and opened the door of the safe which had been in the middle of that blazing bonfire for a week. Out Jumped the little dog, well and happy, wagging his tall with delight." "Yours is a good safe," said the other, "but it isn't in the same block with ours. We adopted the same test precisely, and when we'd raked away the embers and come to the safe at last we opened the door and our little dog " He paused dramatically. "Was dead," In terrupted his rival. "Yes, sir,'' was the reply. "You've hit it. Frozen to death!" The Inevitable Quarrel. "I'm glad I was married in June Instead of October," said the bride. "Why?" "Because if we'd married in October we'd have scrapped over whether or not we were going to spend Thanks giving with my people, and then cur honeymoon wouldn't have lasted a month." Not Interested. "Who was it," Inquired the student, "that Bald 'after me, the deluge?' " "Don't ask me," rejoined the super ficial person., "l never did pay much attention to weather prophets." Fitting Food. "Great Scott, Maria, 1 told you to give me some suitable food, and I'll swear every dish on this table Is something pickled." "Well, so are you." Free With -TrAjrtfC Macaroni Product HERE'S a fine opportunity to get a beautiful set of silverware for your table at no cost to you. Charming Bridal Wreath design. Guaranteed for ten years. Save the signatures from Skinner packages. Write us and we will give you full details. 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At your Christmas dinner, get all the enjoyment goad coffee gives. foe For rough work wear OVERALLS SHIRTS and JUMPERS made or StifeTs fW TNmr.il Cioth Standard tor over mmty-tivt ytart disappointed in service. SL Peal .21 Ensleott Blot. Toronto 14 Rrlancbeator Bier Winelpct 400 Hammond Bids. Montreal 489 St. Pael St