Wood River advertiser. [volume], December 23, 1880, Image 1

About Wood River advertiser. [volume] (Hope Valley, R.I.) 1876-1880

Image provided by: Rhode Island Digital Newspaper Project

                
l \ Vol. B. No. 82,
~ UWood_Hiber Adbertiser,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY,AT
HOPE VALLEY, WASHINGTON COUNTY, R.I.
BY
L. W. A. COLE.
Terms: One dollar per year,in advance.
ADVERTISING RATES. )
vl ' Tl iy oy
BPACE., |c o] s cpm— c————
. l1|9|1;a;o'1s
1 Tnch . | .75/1.25 2.00, 3.00 4.00 6.00
9 Tnches |1.25 2.25 3.00 4.00! 6.00 8.00
1-4 Column 2.50’4.5 6.50, 9.0012.00(18.00
1-3 Column! 3.50 5. 8.0012.00,17. 30.Q0
1 Column |6.00/9.0012.00117.00,25.00140.00
Business Cards—in small type—one dollar
per line P" year.
Advertisements in the form of special or
leaded notices, ten cents ger line,
Legal Advertisements charged atlegalrates.
; Yearly advertisers are allowed the privilege
of ohanging quarterly without extra charge.
lhrrll‘&e and death notices free. Obituary
notices 30 centsforten linesorless, and b cents
for each additional line.
E.E.KENYON,M.D.,
PINYSICIAN & SURGEON,
' WYOMING, R. I.
2@~ Calls attended to, day or night.
E.P. CLARK, M. D.,
~ Physician and Surgeon,
' Office h'rs, TtoB}a.m. 12 to 13 &7 to 8 p.m
HOPE VALLEY. R ‘I. _»' ‘
A. M. OLNEY,
WATCHES, CLOCKS AND JEWELRY
i CLEANED AND REPAIRED.
At Residence, - - - Wyoming, R. L.
Fine Watches, Clocks and Jewelry
Repaired in a Neat and Thorough Manner.
All work warranted and prices very low
W.H. BROWVN. ng_klnton.(}‘lt.y,}{. I,' o
H. N. WHEELER,
WATCHES, CLOCKS AND JEWELRY
Cleaned and Repaired in the
NearesT MANNER AND WARRANTED,
At the Post Office, Hope Valley, R. I.
MRS. GEO. H. BARBER,
Dressmaker, and Weaver of Hair,
Opposite Depot, Hope Valley.
1“”!’__ Cu'rll. !lf_alflf. &c. madc to order.
_ J. P. PALMER,
DESIGNEIR AND BUILDER,
ROCKVILLE, R. 1.
B. W. PENDLETON,
DEALER IN
FRESIH & SALT MEATS, &c.
The wagon runs through the villages every
Tuesday, Thursday and Satutrday.
G.G. PERRY,
BOOT & SHOE MAKER
ngouto Railroad Def)ot. Hope Valley, R. 1,
§ epairs Promptl one. Terms Cash—All
Jobs must be paid lz)r when delivered.
JOHN H. JORDON,
Hair Cutting, Shaving, Sham
pooing, &c , &c.
Open every weekday and evenln‘g. and Sun
day mornings. Hope Valley,R. 1.
GEO. H. OLNEY,
NOTARY PUBLIC, CONVEYANCER,
J. L KEFNYON
SURVEYOR AND CIVIL ENGINEER,
WYOMING, R. 1. '
Burveying personally and promptlyattended
to,and plats drawn.
.NATHAN B. LEWIS,
NOTARY PUBLIC, JUSTICE OF THE
"PEACE, AND CONVEYANCER.
AT TOWN CLERK’'S OFFICE, EXETER.
JOHN A. CORLEY,
Mahufacturer and dealerin
LUMBER,SHINGLES, CLOTH BOARDS, CLAP-BOARDS, &C
Steam Saw and Planing Mills.
WYOMING, R. 1.
JOHN C. ENNIS,
Manufacturer of
CARATAGES ATEAN WAGONS
Partioular attention dlun to Repalring
Evon and Wood work, Trimming, &o.
Quarter mlle north of Plainville School House
AND INSURANCE BROKER.
HOPE VALLEY,.R. I.
PINE HILL,(P.O )R. I
WWood Riwer - Advertiser.
WJIJD RIVER BRANCH RAILROAD.
Trainsleave Hope Valley, at 7,20,10,20 a. m
and 1,55 and 4,50 P m.,
Leave Wood River function at 8,08,11,19 a
m., 2,24 and 5,23 p. m.
"Trains willstop at Woodville each way,and
at Canonchet when signaled. g /1
The 7,20, 10,20 a. m.,and 1,55 p. m.trains con
nect with eastward bound trains. The 7.20,
10,20 a.m. and 4.50 p.m. trains connect with
westward bound trains.
Passenfers leaving Hope Vullay at4:sop m
arrive in Providence at 6:53, via Westerly.
Freight to go west must be delivered to the
Stat'n Ag'ts by 1,30,and to go east by 4,30 p.m
l_‘" M. BARBER. SUPQ-
STONINGTON & ‘PROVIDENCE
RAILROAD.
On and after Monday, May 3lst, 1880
trains leave Wocecd River Junetion
For Providence. -
7:42 A. M.—Passenger Train,connects with Ex
press train for Boston.
11:18 A, M.—Passenger Train, connects to Bos
ton, and Worcester.
2:23 P. M.—Local Express, connects to New
‘ port, Boston, Worcester, Fitchburg
and all points north.
For New London.
8:07 A. M.—Passenger Train, connects to Nor
wich.
10:41 A. M.— Local Express, connects to New
York.
5:22 P. M.—Passenger Train, connects at Ston
ington with the New and Splendid
Steamers Stonington, or City of
New York for New York.
J. B.GARDINER, Surr.
je2Btf
Has removed his office to Walter Price & Co’s
New Brick Blocek,
MAIN STREET, - WESTERLY, R. I.
WHERE
The Most Reliable Insurance,
- Can be obtained in any amount in the
Best American and Foreign Companies.
Buildings and Contents Insured against
FIRE AND LIGHTNING.
Losses paid without Deduoting Interest.
Application by mail or otherwise will receive
prompt attention.
Is the l:est and cheapest place to buy
Parlor, Sitting Room and
Office Stoves or Heaters.
Stock Larger than ever and embraces all
the most desirable styles and improvements
Duplex Grates, Hot Closets, Reservoir, &c.,
consisting of the
Laurel, Garland,
Argand, Winthrop,
Clyde, Arctic,
Cottage Winthrop,
Air-tights, etc.
New Empress, Beauty,
Winthrop, New Hub,
Floral, Thames,
Triumph, etc.,
Shetucket, Champion,
Clinton, &c.
Also a large and varied assorment of
Is. A MPS,
Crockery, Glass Ware,
Silver Plated Ware,
Cutlery, Tin Ware,
‘Wooden Ware and
House Keeping Goods.
C. D. CHASE,
Hope Valley, R. 1., Thursday, December 28, 1880.
M. S. GREENE,
WIOMING, B. L
Mary’s Christmas Stocking,
Too bashful to pop the question in the
usual way, Mr. Jones persuades his sweet
heart to put up a stocking, which will
hold a couple of bushels, on the wight
when Santa Claus pays his visits, receiv
ing her promise to keep forever what he
gave her. She complied by hanging up
the meal bag. Into this the gallant and,
lovelorn Major contrives to introduce him
self at the **witching hour of night.” ‘But
we will let Major Jones speak for himself:
“I sot up till midnight, and when they
‘was all gone to bed, I went softly into the
back gate and went up to the porch, and
thar, sure enuff was & great big meal bag
hanging to the jice. It was monstrous
unhandy to git to it, but I was detarmined
not to back out. 8o I got some chairs on
}top of a bench, and got hold of the rope
‘and let myself down into the bag; but jist
as I was gittin’ in, the bag swung agin the
chairs, and down they went with a terrible
racket. But nobody didn’t wake up but
old Miss Stalline’s great big cur dog, and
here he come rippin’ and tearin’ through
the yard like wrath, and round he went{
tryin’ to find out what was the matter. 1
sot down in the bag and didn’t breathe loud
er nor a kitten, for fear he’d find me out,
and after awhile he quit barkin’. The wind
begun to blow ,bominable hard and cold,
and the old bag kept turnin’ round and
swingin’ so it made me sea-sick as the
mischief. I was afraid to move for fear
the rope would break and let me fall, and
thar I sot with my teeth rattlin like I had
an ague. It seemed like it would never
come daylight, and I do believe if I didn’t
love Miss Mary so powerful, I’d froze to
deth; for my heart was the only spot that
felt warm, and it didn’t beat more’n two
licks & minnit, only when I thought how
she would be sprized in the mornin’, and
then it went in a canter. Bimeby the
old dog cum on the porch, and begun to
smell about the, bag and then he barked
like he’d treed something.’’
“‘Bow! wow! wow!’ ses he. Then he’d
smell again, and try to git up to the bag.”
“‘Gitout!” sez I very low, for fear they
would hear me.”
“‘Bow! wow! wow!’ ses he.” |
‘“‘Begone! you ‘bominable fool,” ses I,
and I felt all over in spots, for I spected
every minnit he’d nip me, and what made
it worse I didn’t know whereabouts he’d
take hold,”
“Bow! wow! wow!’”
~ “Then I tried coaxin’. *‘Come here, good
feller,” sez I, and whistled a little to him,
but it wasn’t no use. Thar he stood and
kept up his eternal whinin’ and barkin’
all night. I couldn’t tell when daylight
was breakin’ only by the chickens crowin’,
and I was monstrous glad to Lear ’em, for
if I’d had to stay thar one hour more, I
don’t believe I'd ever got out of that bag
alive.”
They got him out in the morning,
covered with menl, and almost frozen.
But Miss Mary did not refuse his présent.
And he says, ““I tell you what, it was
worth hangin’ in & meal bag from one
Christmas to another to feel as happy as I
ave ever seunce.”’
Upsetting a Wagon,
Mr. Wagon was the victim. His son
Johnny is a mischievous lad, and the other
day resolved to play a trick on his brother.
He --:ndged certain attachments to that
brothers bed, worked by cords running to
his own room, and then went off fishing.
While he was gone, his brother was sent
away to be absent over night, and a lot of
company arriving at the house, Mr. Wagon
gave up his own room to them and occupied
the absent son’s bed. Johnny got home
late at night, and wholly ignorant of this
change of arrangements went to his room,
which was next to his mother’s, and pre
pared to perpetrate his designs upon his
brother. The first proceeding was to haul
on n cord which ran between the blamkets
and spread on his brother’s bed, and
being fastened to the top would pull the
‘clotheo off the bed. Mr. Wagon was com
fortably tucked -in, when suddenly the
clothes began to slip and he found himself
uncovered, He thought he might have
kicked them off and sat up and took hold
of the clothes to pull them back. MeKh
time Johnny had yanked another cord
which pulled the pillow off the bed. Mr.
‘Wagon discovered his loss and reached for
the pillow and when he got it the clothes
went off again. He was much excited at
that and again went after the clothes and
again lost the pillow. That time the
‘.lnu weat ander the bed and Mz. Wagea
went under after it, and immediately came
out again and swore prodigiously, for the
floor was strewn with chestnut burs, and
he had gotten into them. He regofved to
scold the chamber-maid for leaving so
many pins on the floor. Once more he
made an attempt to get the pillow,and as
it was way under, he made a frantic dive
for it, and just then Johnny, who was
shaking with laughter, pulled the last
cord and the whole bed came dewn upon
Mr. Wagon and jammed him upon the
burs. His frantic howls brought his wife
and friends to the rescue, and 'he was
fished out. And then the gas was lighted
and somebody discovered the cords run
ning to Johnny’s room. Mr. Wagon at
once hastened there. The lad expiained
‘that he thought his brother was in the bed,
but it didn’t make any difference,. His
yells were mistaken by a man sleeping
‘half a mile away, for a cry of fire, and he
;jumped out of bed so hard he sprained a
toe, And the next day when Jobhnny
went to school, he got spanked again,
because he wouldn’t sit down, and i® now
resolved to run away from home the first
chance he can get, as this part of the
country is & mighty discouraging region
for a boy.
Too Many Wheels.
The Sacramento Union relates the fol
lowing amusing incident: The trayéling
clock tinker has arrived. He has visited
O street and at least overhauled and re
paired one clock. His rap at the door had
a business air to it, and the good lady of
the house stated, in answer to his inquiry,
that the clock was out of repair, and in
fact had not run well since it was last
cleaned. Bhe didn’t know what was the
trouble, He might look &t it if he had a
mind to, and if he could fix it satisfac
torily it would save taking it down town.
“If I can not fix it, madam, it can not be
done, and I will put it in- warrantable
repair for $l,” was the reply ofbland
assurance which won him the job. He
had got it ‘*laid out’’ and dissected. on the
dining room table, and was putting’ it to
gether when the lady, feeling plo"hu?d to
have so little trouble in getting her regu
lator into motion again asked what he
found to be the difficulty with it. <*Oh, it
needed overhauling and setting up proper
ly.” Having it set up and ready to go he|
was perplexed to find he had one wheel
left, and glancing back to see whether
that fact was noticed by the lady, to his
annoyance he saw that it was, but braving
the situation he laid it one side in 4n un
concerned manner and as if it was & com
mon occurence to find a surplus of wheels
'in timers, and giving the pendulum a
swing, found that it started off all right,
&nd to his surprise kept going. Watching
it for two or three minutes, and seeing
that the wheel was from some locality
which did not produce a stop, he ‘assumed
an air of completed task and self-satisfac
tion, and said, “There, I guess”it will
stand by you now.” *Yes,” said the lady,
who was curious to see what he was going
to say about the wheel; “but how about
that extra wheel?” ¢That, madam,’’ he
replied ‘“was what ailed your clock.—
Whichever one of these city botches tried
to repair your clock last, got that wheel
mixed in from some other clock, and it
would 'never have gone in the world until
the thing was overhauled and the surplus
gear taken out. [ frequently find this
}ume difficulty,”” he continued, ‘‘and the
only way is to leave the extra wheels out.”
This was an astonishing proposition to
the owner of the clock, and beyond com
prehension. But what could she say
against it? Her clock would not go be-i
fore, and now it did. 8o he received his
dollar and departed. He had not got off
from the square, however, before she
noticed her clock began to have a sickly
tick, and showed unmistakable signs of its
old habits, and by the time he was fairly
out of sight it had again come to a stand
still, and she has not seen anything of the
traveler since, nor told her husdand where
that wheel came from.
Moxzy is being so freely contributed for
the purpose of clothing and civilizing
benighted Africans that it is becoming
profitable to go to Africa and become a
heatheu. i
~ Tuzrz are a great many skillful en
gineers on our railways, but we never
knew one yet who could kick his train
’unul & curve with the grace and sucoess
with which a fizst-class actress can per
!h.hq-al-.
Price 8 Cents.
The Tramp and the Wood-pile.
And it came to pass early yesterday
morning, that as & wealthy and benevolent
gentleman of ——— opened the door
of his dwelling, in order that he wmight
proceed, as was his wont, unto his place of
business, he did behold a poor tramp re
clining upon the steps before the door.
And the tramp was exceeding lean and
ill-favored. His raiment it was dirty,
and his eyes they did have in them the sad
and far-away gaze of a half-starved dog.
And the old gentleman hove nigh him
and spoke unto him, saying, “‘Look ye—
what want ye here ?”
And the tramp lifted up his voice and
said, “Wilt thou give me something to
eat? Even thirteen days have flown by
since food hath passed wmy lips.”
And the heart of the b. g. was moved
with compassion-—even unto the bursting
of his suspenders.
And he called unto his maid-servant and
commanded her, saying: ‘- Give thou unto
this poor traveler food and drink, of which
he standeth sore in need. Verily I know
how it is myself. See that thou lettest
him eat his fill, for it is written: ‘lt is
‘more blessed to give than to receive.’ But
hark ye, sirrah! Verily, the wood-pile
lieth nigh and unto it the ax adjacent, and
when thou has partaken of thy fill see to
it that ye repay me, even unto the hewing
of wood. What sayest thou, fellow? Wilt
thou do this thing? Axt thou of mind to
work 2”7’
And the tramp lifted up his voice and
spake unto him with tears and said:
“Yea, that will I! Even as thou com
mandest will I obey. I will tackle the
festive wood and hew it even unto the
blistering of my hands."”
And the old man went his way.
And the tramp doubled the tracks of the
maid-servant unto the dining hall and
Wate down and did partake of the food she
set before him. And he ate bheartily s
‘though he were possessed of the stomach
of Dr. Tanner—him who fasted forty days
of old and afterwards brought a gr:vious
famine upon the pecple.
"And when ‘he had risen he did basely
stow the spoous and forks into his pockets.
“And he wunk unto himself and said
these will feteh cash.” :
For he meditated not on the baseness of
his act.
Aud he wiped of his chin and pulled
down his vest and betook himself into the
wood-pile aforesald.
And when he. concentrated his vision
upon the wood, and had seen that it was
tough even unto hickery; his heart failed
‘him. and leaped the femce and Jdid ex
¢laim: *Blamed if I’ll chop it.”
And he went his way and was seen no
more in that place forever.
Now when, the even had come, the
wealthy and benovelent old gent returned
home and hied him straightway unto the
wood-pile, that he might feast his eyes
upon the wood which, in his simplicity, he
believed the tramp had hewn.
But when he had drawn nigh unto it,
behold it was as as he had left it on the
morn—untouched by the hand of man!
And bhe marveled greatly as ome who
sees a thing he can’t exactly get the
rights of.
And when he had discovered how the
tramp had played him false even unto the
pulling of the wool over his eyes, he tore
his hair and beat his breast and kicked
himself in divers places, and gave himself
up to sore lamentation crying out at the
top of his voice, “I’'m blarsted if I’ll ever
be such a gosh-durned fool again."”
No, sir!—A Scotch minister once
said no woman could bear pain as
Well as a man. That is not so. The
fact is generally the other way. Mus.
Edward Me_\’ers of Rondout, N. Y,,
submitted to the operation of the re
moval of her hand by amputation,
without taking ether, or moving a
muscle or uttering a groan. Dr. Ken
nedy, also of Rondout, N. Y. who
performed the operation, said he never
saw such heroism. The lady’s disease
was envsipelas, and afterwards the
Doctor gave his “Favorite Remedy”
to cleanse the Blood. Mrs. Meyers is
now well and strong. Dr. Kennedy's
“Favorite Remedy” at one dollar a
bottle is the thing for female weak
nesses and all complaints arieing from
bad blood. Bat that Scotchman waa
mistaken.
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