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The Newport gazette. [volume] (Newport [R.I.]) 1777-1779, May 29, 1777, Image 2

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83021183/1777-05-29/ed-1/seq-2/

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For the MEWPORTGAZETTE.
A«d Opfer IVomen leck thoir Fifh up,
Lo g 0 abowt, and cry, ne Bifhop.
HUDIBRAS
T HE Leaders of the Continental drmy,
baving bcea umfuccels'ul in their
Esdeavours to recrait their Forces, begia to
fulpet they ace likely te heve but 8 poor
Time of it, ths a proaching Campaige ;
and, indeed, have not fcrupled to blame
the Lower and Brother, who, when d'{miflcd
by-Generil Sellivaw, were fo arnefly coa-
FJaed o wwith and" jein togetber, in their
Struggles for the Caofe, and to come back
as foon a 2 they bad comforied their inve
lentarily ravithed Spoafes,
Wtat Afliduity snd Application may be
neceflary 10 reftsre Tranquillity to 8 Brealt
gsra and afli@ed by an inveluntary Rape, is
g Pointd camnot afcertdin ; tut the Geeerals,
it is more thap probabie, have determined
it, and, from their repeated Carrs, {rtm
to think there has been abundant Time al
lowed, not on'y to confols the Spoufes, bat
the rayithed Lover, and the Sifter too. But
fo fagisive a Thing is Yaakee Grandeur,
that he who fees whele Crouds of ftraic.
baired Herocs, bowing to him at Pancake-
Day, may, if be lives till the Ah-Wednel
dzy, pafs alorg wanoticed.
What Pation, but Defpair, can find a
Srat in the prrurbed Souls of thefe grest
Men ? [sdeed, nothing lefs than an Extiac
tien of the heaven-born Fire of Freedom
wereimminent, had not the Ladies of Pro
vidence emgaged (o entertain the F.ams.---
Thefe Veftals of a Fithing-Town, poffe(s a
Frame {0 happily robuit, that in the Worde
of Ham'et, {peaking of a Perfon he revered,
Natu ed might flng up and fay, Tbir is &
Man. Doubts have asifea ia the learaed
Worid about the Caufe. of this Diverfity ia
the Species, and Doubts they malt remuin,
for sny Light that we can threw upor the
Matier,, The moft ufqlu Reafoners, how
t'fl‘.gflv. it to bs che Refult either of a
Fitk Caufe, por of crimped Cod. To Phi-
Jofophy, thereiore, fhuil we leave it to de
cide, whethar a Diet compofed of Pan-Fith
and Melaffes, with 3 Sufficency of Rum,
or Regimen of mere Ficth, be more cenda
cive to expend the human Soul inte (he
higher aed more ave Difpofiziors; aad
lnvia;hdi miffed this Difliculty, we relume
our Subject. The Veda s of Providence the
Great, hare then, it feems, been dilt:efed
exceedingly at the daindled Staie, and tot
gering Condition, of the American Affain ;
with a Hand truly patriotic, they refolve to
cherith them. o this View, they prepofs,
as a preliminary Step, to raife a Bedy of
Mep, avd teaching them the mancal Exere
Gife, @ pai them, early in the Field, The
Comasnd of.thefs Levies will naterally be
givea 10 thele Ladies, and, to avoid anne
cgdl'ty Stwruggles and Contentions, ¢ach
Candidate 's to prodace a Proof of her Abi-
Jities in the military Art, as a Groand for
het Pretenfions. Thofe who have kep: up
the frictef Dicip ine in their own Fami
w be confidered firit: Aad in this
pigt; it is faid, the married Dames are
like'y w 0 be promoted ; there being a Nua
ber of Matrons, perieily Martinsts, whofe
Habitatiees have borne a 0 {mall Analogy
t 2 well drilled Gawriloxs, for fome Years
f.- -The Head and Shouiders of the
Hubud will, if the Char:&ers ba fair and
legible, pafs as a julk Ceirificace of the
Powers of the Cand'dare ; and if the Traces
of Jde Hovle JWhip cas be fouad, a Reyi
mest of Dragoons will follow. Thefe deli
cate Affestere of the Rights of Mun have
fized wpon an Uoi‘orm, sad certain Regu-
Jasioas, fit to idßiaguith them from other
@fficers. They are to (have thei. H-ads,
and let their Beards grow, Thole who are
grey, will be allowed a dee Proporiion of
Bamp-Black add Oil, to give a deccat Co-
Jour o thtir Whikkers, which ae Ly aa
der ke Doprer of a el -OFierr will b 2 al
lowed ts wear uncerled. As th: Rifle Men
are not quite [0 umerous ws they we:e be
fo'e the litde Skirmifh at Bediond dail Year,
every Ofticer is 10 have s WA= Seilt. None
but a Brgadier Genera! to be a'lowee 0
wear a Petticoat and Pacizns. Erery Ofi
cer to wear Siays Or jupics, exceni whem
breeding ; but before am Olizer can be re
turned pregnant, fug mull {nbmit o the
Procefs of a Crurt of Fmquiry. A Breach
of this Forma'ity, or a collutive Preceeding,
will attre& the {cverelt Percity ; nothing tei3
than the Lady's being ¢ifmisied the Service,
and deemed (0 have ceaeved wnlike 2 Gea
tleman,
We ncw come to en Article of the Drefs
to be wora by the(z eacer T'rcops ; which
will aot oaly be ar O.nament to their Par
foms as Soldiers, but de Horcur 10 their
Feelings vs Women. To be perfeétly fand
ble of this humace Izteation, it may be pio
per to obferve, that a great Depopulation
of the Colomses is llzely 1 enfus from thiir
preisnt Undertaking, eonlefs fome prudea:
Meafures be adepted to p event it; sad 1
is evideat that accordiag to the uiusl Mode
of condv&licg, an lareicourfe beiwzen the
Sexes, & cenfiderable Proporicn of that
grecious Fugitive Time iv lamerntably led,
in aull Decorum avd chileith Ceypefs:
All which Procraßieatica weuald be esfi'y
banithed fram the Werld, were Mea to
know, at the firft S'ght, wlether they are in
a Train for good Succefs or sat. But Edu
caticn fo irflucnces ocur Ceadu&, thatic is
able (o ok ftiuct even the meft paarsi Ten
dercips ; that vulgar Pait of it zailed Brdh.
fulnefs, is certaialy the very Arfeaick of tbe
fiter Paffions, A Man, thevgh resdiag
with Refpe@ for a fine Womna, £acs an
Aukwardnefs Raag about Lim, if ke prilumen
to mske a Tesder of his Hear: to bar,
without, as it were, feeliug thc Pulfe of her
Affe&ion, withoat waiching tke EFe & a:ud
Pragrefs of his Ssdulowfzels io pleans ;
while he, I&icg a Parv'big wikh Ihe fame
Reft aint, fhackizs a geavous P*fiw gith
the Boads of Ferm snd feigned Ina S-razce,
Ths'e foldier-like Damfels of tie Filhing-
Tewn, have, by eic asbie Effart, rejisved
tremfelyes acd ibe agorizisg Lavers they
may have, fidaa this Eathiuidem ; they
wear & Belr, which, waile it bizds their
Bofom:, feis the expaadiag Heait iz parieét
Fieedom.
It defcends meft gracefully frem the fhaul
der to the fweiling Hip, it hes no scymeter
appeading to it, but wears the percaful aad
inviting Word Liberty.
Let any Man nov figure to bimfulf 2 love
ly Lafs witb hec Hair cropped, Jack Boo.s
on her gentle Legs, and a Rific in her reddy
Hzand, let bim then aufwer upn the Infor.
maticn of his Coafcience whether {o formi
dable an Appearance wanld wirm | m into
Love or ptompt him to prefe his P ffioa :
Bat if he feesthatdexr Word Lili:ty team
iag It's genuine Light, the Leit becowes a
tonid Zoce.
Is_hed beea long abferved, ‘ow many a
modeft Mi liner is thrownout of 3 Worid of
Bufinefs in London, merely becaufe deliriag
to be thought a Gemtlewoman, the cacnot
bring herfel! fto tha Indignity of hangirg out
a Sign; while petl\' fhe might have had
her fhcdn fall, had fRe bezn wi'e encagh tn
let hee Name and Trade be writien on Ler
Window Shutier. Awnd mot only her cwn
Diftrefs snd D:fappoiatment is trc Atcend.
ant of her falfe Modely, but the Public fuf
t:ine an Ineonvemience of great Iriportance
to 8 commercial Coanatry. How oiten do
Miitokes baopen to thofe who are aicar be
i g Cuftomere, frc:;: not Lrowirg wh::g the
Thingthey waatis o or fold ! Well meaniog
Perfons have been koown to ok ' or Prd'ocks
at a Sraywakezs, a Saddle ar'a Silvetimiley
&i Brimidoae at & Meainamakedd,
O Cezennrt T-d 0 Mg, fird therafaiis
with uch l!‘»-"rq'fi;wc rroofs of the moft }-i'
vasie Cenfequenit of ma.waife bente, 2oid
cut am argmbipucay dwdex et the? Bee
nevolemes to Mankiad, »hica, ike a.Num~
ber cn & Hwkeey Coacly, ¢ reds the Tia.
veller 1o thr Vebicle hi cas hie, ard faves
ki aa wneeucflay Anp'itativn w 0 the
Urver v a privace Caniegs, w..c, befides
Jagghing in nig Face, miget perhzp: I¢mqin
inexcral, e, asd foffer kimo walk biafiif
10 Death, rather than let hia wp apd s.de,
“ow much meoreealy is it o krow 2 hidy’s
Mine by s fnteiligitie Ladgodse ob e
Beli, thws the uncertain Diate® of che moft
gxp:rohive Eyes, The'e O gans are bat Im
perfe@ Minifiers to Sentiment, 100 teedur,
and oo liab'e 10 Accidents : Bu: with (he
Kel’, a Bssuty may explaie merfiir, though
e bas but a ficgle Bye . And il tbi: aghree
ablz Improvemeat reacdes he Tape of Goed
Hcps, we may coejr&ure the Hotreoros Lo
dizs will readaly edopt it 3 ficce Matare bas
been picaied to foraifh thim with & lving
Belr, exceedingly cozvenidu: as c Bicaarco,
bro.d enough for emdi fiiigz or embiodesing
that talfmenic Tenun LIBERTY, withust
cramiping & fagie Letier 00 it
Threre is, however, ose Obje®ion 10 thia
Di‘esvery ; which ioJeed rucber ficws ha
general Infeficieucy of human Ar,, than 2
Defe@ icherezt orly to this Newchiy. I;
i, Ihat Leather, in Spite of o'l the Ef: 22
of tne izoning Ars, witl fli) bs Leaker;
fo that @ Word which cughi in Rocfor 10 be
corved on Braa, i, 13 122 Jnfance, musery
pi&uied wpon perifiable Hife, Now, a
Variety of accivens may «foce thefs Let
ters ; for Lile, a'es, 1s full ot Radil Whag
thtn mufl bs the Fate of the Saldappy Awe
goo? A Tear! A Tesr, Compafion! cr
s Hint at leaft, to holp the Ladics 1o a Lif
ing Set of Chazallen. <
But lct them be of Cemfort. Cancdt
- Letters be di®in&ly traced wiih Bius npea
tte human Skin? Hah! by Heavans, i 2
2 Thovght of the firß M goituds. What
thoush Petty-Largeners 214 Wadhe: wouen
@ ry dha leitials of theic Names gpoa thaie
brawny Aims, yer is tie Celour fu exprfe.
five or Liberty, it cameot b:d fpenfed witk,
Libsery, it mafl bz owsed, ie an Affair cm
whick Maiki«d bave ecieiisited s voft Via
riety of Id:ae, but 18 one of ite Eflencs
they all agez; o Mea {2 Rupid but W
certain L.ber'y is blue. T des) this, wei®
te r2fift the Evidenee of T uth ivedf : Por
L:bzrty is deiived from HoaveraHerven i 3
b'ue sher.fore, Lib rty is ®ice of Coufa;
and indzed if this were not s Fa&, it woeld
fol 'ow that an agure Be t in no nore expref
five o' trov Freedom, (hee 4 yel'ow or 6 red
Ore, ~oich woul B fuck a Herefy in Pos
Yiaizs as wwoft Am.ricans souid excera e,
iravy of the Generalz in thz GRAND
CONTINENTAL ARMY, hive st fleart
ke Honour of the Scliie: Ladie:, aed sny
Intered with the Turnkey of Newgate,
they may pet ‘he Secret of gerking thefe
new Camidias witk the veritall: zrepn of
the Old-Bailey ; by whick Mu:ans hey
may be buraed in, l.ke g:d Chinz; while
that Deveflation of the buman S;ecics,
which follows iw the Train ¢f Mar, fhall
amply bs compenfated by the Inculiry and
Appication of thefe Veiufes. Axmetica
lift wp your Thiiteen Heads ! the Amauors
of Pruvidence bave Iworn, even by their
Deards and Belts, to e yvur Friceds ! Sisnd
forth, ye radiant Patterns «f ¢xcelling Na
tare, ye Portraiir of fweet Womashood and
Lovelinels ! Cumsto your Pels, ye Colon:l
Abigails, ye M:jor Sarzhs, 4nd ye Caprain
Bathihebw: ! The Small-Arms of yeaur ge
suwiee Becaty were deliu@ive 3 “bur Ibe
Biunderbyfes sed 8 x-pusveert of your face
titious Charer, will pul the Serpaut dewe,
and raife wheie Mebe of Siaives 0 I
M‘mwlo '

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