The Northern star, and farmers' and mechanics' advocate. [volume], July 03, 1830, Image 1

About The Northern star, and farmers' and mechanics' advocate. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1830-1834

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- NORTHERN STAR, *
AND FARMERS’ AND MECHANICS ADVOC ATE-
VOL. 5.-=NO., 20.
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED nw{&m
CHARLES RANPALL. "~
TERMS.—TWO .OI‘I‘:AIS fil
annum, payable in three months, or §
ot the end of the year. ! :
ADVERTISE MENTS conspicuously in
serted on the usual terms of One Dollar per
square, for thrae weeks, and twenty cents
for every subsequent insertion. Advertisements
will be continued till forbidden unless the
term of continuance be specitied.
&7 No paper discontinued until all arreara
fi are paid, except at the option of the pub
isher.
09 All communications must be addressed
to the publisher postage paid.
6.5 Single papers 6 cents.
THE ADVOOCATE.
TEMPERANCE, NO. 10.
Drioking leads to gameing. Idle and
intemperate men, seldom know how to
kill time, without recourse to games of
shame. The influence of these, to de
prave the heart, destroy the morals, and
waste the substance of. their votaries, it
is needless to describe _ Multitudes have
been such proficients in this school of vice :
as soon to become knaves, blockheads, or
beggars. Intemperance lends to lying,
when estate and character are ruined.—
Noregard to truth is to be expected in
such, whose promises are made and brok
en without ceremony.© The tongue be
comes the organ of imposisition in busi
ness ; every principle of integrity or hon
or is laid out of the question, when there
is opportunity to take advantage of the
ignorant, the credulity, or the necessity
of a fellow creature. This is not all :
from simple falsehood, the transition is ea
sy to commit thecrime of perjury. Go in
to our courts of justice, and see at how.
cheap a rate, men of this character are
hired or flattered to bear false witness.
How easily they sport with the most tre
mendous obligations, how gravely they
can tell a lie under oath, and that without
a wry face. lam serious on this point.
The time has come when any man who
is willing to make ardent spirits, the in
strument of iniquity, may find witnesses,
onany cause, ready to testify any thing
that he shall dictate. Hence, in a multi
tude of cases, the name of the everliving
God, is invoked. But in carless and im
pious mockery, and the alarming sin of
trifling with appeals to Heaven, becomes
so familiar, as scarcely to be ac counted a
crime, Intemperance also leads to pro
fane swearing : the folly and impiety of
this practice, admits of no apology-no
motive of appetite or interest—no consti
tutional propensity could be pleaded as
an excitement to this vice. It is indeed
such an outrage on the first principles of
religion, reason, and decency, as ought
not to be expected from any one in the.
sober exercise of his mental faculties. ‘
Intemperance also leads to tale bear-|
ing and slander. To the vile and vulgar'
tongues of drunkards, these are favorite
employments, When the little stock of
understanding which naturegave is drown
ed in intoxication, they have still one
precious attribute of human nature left, to
distinguish them from irrational animals.
Dogs can bark, and mules can bray, but
men only can laugh in these noisy circles.
However, there is often more of maligni
ty thap levity ; here the characters of the
absent are held up to reproach—here re
ligion is denounced as priestcraft, and its
professors and ministers stigmatized as
weak bigots or designing knaves. One
who has lost the use of his limbs and sen
ses, may have wisdom enough left to say
all this, and yet say nothing new. The
same things were probably said of old, by
some of Lot’s geighbors, and twenty-eight
centuries ago. The great and good king
David was the drunkards song. lntem-i
perance alao leads to contention. Three
fourths of all the vulgar quarrels which
h‘Pan. proceed from ardent spirits,. We
have it in holy writ, that wine is a mocker,
strong drinkis raging : who hath woe—
who hath sorrow—who hath contentions
~=who hatlf bablings—who hath redness
of eyes ’—they- that tarry long at the
wine. How often do men meet in good
humour, then drink to excess, talk non
sense, fancy themselves insulted, take
fire within, be loose at the mouth, rave,
threaten, come to blows, and then the
DEVOTED TO NEWS, MECHANICS, AGRICULTURE, COMMERCE, MANUFACTURES, LITERATURE, RELIGION, RURAL AND DOMESTIC EGONOMY, ETC.
majesty of the law must be prostituted to
scttle a quatrel of fools. Long ago, Sen
eca spoke of those who let in a thief at
the mouth, to steal away the brains. In
such acase, the stupidity of a brute is oft
en united with the fury of a demoniac.—~
How often does the drunken revel end in
the cry of murder; and how often does the
hand of the izebriate in one rash hour,
perform a deed which haunts him to the
grave.
Bristol, May 31.
INTEMPERANCE.
- “There is a domestic tyrant.now trav
‘ersing the fairest districts of our country—
couumingoitn young and vital energies;
treading down the blossom of its hopes;
undermining its free institutions; setting
at defiance all its ixthoritiu; multiplying
ensinu of torture; fencing off grave yards,
an bteubin? pestilence upon every acre
of our fiood y heritage. This mandev
ouring shape,
‘lf shape it may be called, which shape has
none, .
¢ Distinguishable in member, joint, or limb,
¢ Fierce as ten furies, terrible as hell,’
18 Intemperance. *‘ Other Lords have had
dominion over us,” but here is the very
Nerc of the horrid dynasty, and we must
dethrone the despot or we are lost. If we
sit still but a little longer, and look quiet
ly on, while this scourge is ngin'g like a
temjpeu of fire in all our borders, the fourth
of July will indeed come; but we shall
have no independence to celebrate. QOur
liberties will exist only in the song of the
drunkard. Fuil Illium, (that THEY WERE,)
will be written upon all the monuments of
our glory. : ; .
THE CLOSING OF LIFE.
~ Of all the periods and events of life, the
concluding scene is one of the deepest in
terest to tfie person himself, and to surviv
ing spectators. Various are the ways in
which it comes, and various the aspects it
presents; but in all it is solemn. What
can be more so than the approach of that
moment which to the dying man is the
boundary between time ‘and eternity?
which concludes the one and commentes
the other; which terminates all his inter
esis in this world, and fixes his condition
for a never ending existence in the world
unknown! What can be more so than
these moments of' silence and indiscribable
anxiety when the last sands of the number
ed hour are running; when the beat ofthe
heart has betome too languid to be feit at
the extremities of the frame; when the
hand returns not the gentle pressure; when
the limb lies stiffand motionless; when the
eye is fixed, and the ear turns no more to
wards the voice -of consoling kndness;—
when the breath before oppressive and la
borious, becomes feebler and feebler till
it dies slowly away—and to the listening
ear there is no sound amidst the breath
iess silence; nor to the arrested eye, that
watches with the unmoving look of thrill
ing solicitude for the last symptom of re
maining life, is motion longer perceptible,
when surrounding friends coantinue to
s{:eak in whispers, and to step through the
chamber on the tiptoe of cautiousness, as
if still fearful of disturbing him—whom
the voice of a thousand thunders could not
startle; who has fallen on that last sleep,
from which nothing shall rouse but * the
voice ofthe archangel and the trump of
GOd.” o
MATRIMONY.
- Sweet is the society of a pair fitted for
each other, in whom are collected the af
fections of husband, wife, lover, friend, the
tenderest affections of human nature,—
Public government is in perfection, when
the sovereign commands with humanity,
and the subjects are cordial in their obedi
ence. Private government in conjugal
society arrives at sill "reater perfection,
where husband and wife, govern and are
overned reciprocally, with entire satis
’action to both. The man bears rule over
his wife’s person and conduct; she bears
rule over his inclinations: he governs by
law; and she by persuasion. Nor can
her authority ever fail, where it is support
ed by sweetnees of temper, and zear to
make him happy.
’ The empire of the woman is an empire
of softness, of address, of complacency;
‘her commands are caresses, her menaces
are tears. She ought to reign in the fam
ily like a minister in the state, by makin
that which is her inclination be enjoineg
to her as her duty. Thus it is evident,
that the best domestic economy is that
where the wife has most authority, But
when she is insensible to the voice of her
chief, when she tries to usurp'his preroga
tive, and to command alone, what can re
sult from such disorder, but misery, scan
dal and dishoner. |
Se—Te T T T L
WARREN, R. I, SATURDAY MORNING, JULY 8,1830,)
AID IN BUSINESS. :
Whatever may be a man’s ca)linf in
life, a newspaper aids his business. If he
be a farmer, he will see improvements in
ploughing, manuring and cultivating his
ground—the best seeds—succession of
crops—improved machines. Mechanic:
will also see improved machinery. Mer
chants will see articles for sale—some
things wanted, and others offered. A
milkman not long since, lost a bargain a
auction, which would have paid for his
paper ten years, merely by not taking the
g;per in which the auction was advertised.
e went and subscribed for a paper, and
;!ociimd he would take it as long as he
ived.
Scene,—A House in the Com;;y
Inquisitor. Good morning, Madam.
Is the head of the family at home?
’mxn. Touchwood. Yes; sir, Pm ol
Inq. Hav’nt you a husband ? ’
Mrs. T. Yes, sir; but he ant the head
of the family, I’d have you to know.
Ing. How many persons have you in
your family ?
Mrs. T. Why bless me, sir, what’s
that to you ? You're mighty inquisitive,
I think.
Inq. Dl’m the man that takes the cen
cus, .
Mrs. T.. If you was a man in your
senses, you would’t ax such impertinent
questions.’
Ing. Don’t be affronted old lady, but
answer my questions as I ask them.
Mr-.'l'?.' Answer a fool according to
his folly !—you know what the scriptures
say. Old lady indeed !
Inq. I beg your pardon, Madam ;
but I don’t care about hearing Scrip
ture just at this moment. I’m bound to
go'according to law not according to gos
e .
. Mrs. T. I should think you went
neithet nccording to law nor gospel.—
What business is it to you to inquire into
folkses affairs, Mr. Thingumbug ?
Inq. The law makes it my business,
good woman, and if you don’t want to ex
pose yourself to its penalties, you must
answer I’lll’ questions.
Mrs. T. Ohit’s the law, isit ? That
altars the case. But I should like tc
know what business the law has with peo
ples’ household matters,
~ Ing. Whr Congress made the law,
lndhnf it does’nt please you, you must, talk
to them.
Mrs, T. * Talk to a fiddle-stick !
Why, Congress isa fool, and your’e a
nother.
Inq. Now, good lady, you’re a fine
looking woman, if you’ll only give me a
few civil answers, {’ll thank you. What
I wish to know first is, how many are
there in your family ?
Mrs. T. Let me see, (counting her fin
gers,) there’s;l and my husbandis one—
Inq. Are ‘{'ou always one ? ‘
Mrs. T, hat’s that to you, I should’
like to know. But I tell you, if you don’t
leave off interrupting me, I wont 'say a
nother word, |
. Inq. Well take your own way, and
be hanged to {ou.
Mrs. T. I will take my own way, and
no thanks to you. SAgain counting her
fingers.) There’s I and my husband is
one : there’s John, he’s two ; Peter is
three, Sue and*Moll are four, and Thom
as is five. And then there’s Mr. Jenk
ins and his wife and the two children is
six and there’s old Jowler, he’s seven—
Inq. Jowler ! Who’s he ? w
Mrs. T, Whose Jowler ! Why who
should he be but the old house dog ? {
Inq. llt’s the number of persons I
want to know. . {
Mrs. T. Very well, Mr. Flippergin,
ant Jowler a person ? Come here, Jow
ler, and speak for yourself. I’m sure he’s
as personable a dog as there <is in the
whole state.
Inq. He’s a very clever dog, no
doubt. But it’s the number of human be
ings I waat to know.
'hu. T. Human! There ant amore
human dog that ever breathed. ‘
Inq. \i’cll, but I mean the two-legged
kind of beings. ‘
Mrs. T. O the two-legged is it ? Well
then ther’e the old rooster, he’s seven ;
the fighting cock is cight, and the bcl-‘
tam is nine— R -
Inq. Stop, stop, good woman, 1 j
of you, 1 dont wu;ttoknom,u:bq.‘.
of your fowls. .
Mr. T. Dl’'m very sorry indeed I cant
please you, such a sweet gentleman as
you are. Butdid’nt you tellme it was
the two-legged beings— e
: Inq. True, but I did’nt mesn the
ens.
"Mrs.T. O, now I undhratand you.
The old gobbler, he’s seven, the hen tur
key lool{l.n—cnd if you'll wait a week
there’ll be a parcel of young ones, for
TAKING THE CENSUS.
‘the old hen turkey is setting on a whole
snarl of eggs. : :
~ Ingq. Ln your turkies !
Mrs. T. O don’t now good Mr. Hip
persticher—l pray you don’t. They’re
as honest turkies as any in the country.
' Inq. Don’t vex me any more. I’'m
etting to be angry.
. M":g. T. Ha,‘bn, ha!
Inq. lsStriding about the room in a
rage.) - Have a care, Madam, or I shall
fly out of my skin.
Mrs. T. If you do,I don't know who’ll
fly in.
ylnq._ You do all you can to anger me.
It’s the two legged creatures who talk, I
have reference to.
Mrs. T. O now I understand you.—
Well then our Poll Parrot makes seven
and the black girl eight.
Inq. I see you will have your own
way.
‘lu. T. Youhave just found it out,
have you ?. You are a smart little man !
~ Inq. Have you mentioned the whole
of your family ?
| Kirs. T. Yes,sir, that’s the whole—
except the wooden-headed man in the oth
er room. :
. Inq. Wooden-headed !
Mrs. T. Yes; the school master that’s
boarding here.
Inq. I suppose if he has a wooden
head, he lives without eating, and there
fore must be a profitable boarder.
Mrs. T. O no, sir,you are mistaken
there. He cats like a leather judgment.
Inq. How many slaves are there be
longing to the family ?
Mrs.T. Slaves ? Why, there's no
slaves but I and my husband.
Inq. What makes you and your hus
band slaves ?
Mrs. T. - I’m a slave to hard work,and
he's a slave to rum. He does nothing
all day, but guzzle, guzzle,guzzle ; while
I’m working, and sweating from morning
till night, and from night till mornin‘f.
Inq. How many free coloured per
sons have you ?
Mrs. T. Why there’s nobody but Di
na the black girl,’Poll Parrot and my
daughter Sue, %
Inq. Isyour daughter a colored girl ?
Mrs. T. I guess you’d think so, i
was to see her, She’s always out in the
sun—and she’s'tanned up asblack as an
Indian.
Inq. How many white ‘mnales are there
in your famil uer ten years of age ?
lzlrs. T. a’hy there ant none now—
my husband [don’t carry the mail since
he’s taken to drink so bad. ilHe used to
carry two, but they was’nt white.
~ Inq. You mistake, good woman ; I
meant male folks, not leather mails.
Mrs. T. Why, let me cee : there’s
none except littlc Thomas, and Mr. Jenk
ins’ two little girls,
Inq. Males, I said Madam, not fe
males,
- Mrs. T. Well, if you don’t like the
Je, you may leave it off.
~ lngq. l{ow many white males are there
between ten and twenty ? .
Mrs. T. Why there’s nobody bul
John and Peter ; and John run away Jlast
week. Yy
Inq. How many white males are there
between twenty and thiity ?
Mrs.T. Let me see—there is the
wooden-headed man is one, Mr. Jenkins
and his wife is two, and the black girl is
three. !
Inq. No more of your nonsence, old
lady ; I’m heartily tired of it.
Mrs. T. Hoity-toity ! havn’t I a right
to talk as I please in my own house ?
Inq. You must answer the questions
as I put them.
Mrs. 'L, “ Answer a fool according
to his folly”—you’re right,Mister Hippo
riff. »
‘ Inq. How many white males are
there between thirty and forty.
Mrs. T. Why there’s nobody but I
and my husband—and he was forty-one
last March.
Inq. As you eount yoursetf among
the males, 1 dare say you wear the breech
es.
Mrs. T. Woell, what if I do, Mister
itinpertinence ? Is that any thing to yous
idd your own business if you please.
Inqg. Certainly—l did but speak.—
How many white males are there between
forty and fifty ?
Mrs. T. None,
Inq. How many between fity and
dxtfi ?
rs. T. None.
Inq. Are there any between this and
a hundred ?
- M. T. None—except the old gen
tlemen.
Inq. What old mlomm ? You
hav’nt mentioned any befcre.
Mrs. T. Why @‘ Graylin
I thought every body ‘ r (#.,
ling—ne’sa hundred and two years old
come Aug;m, ifhe lives 80 long—and 1
dare say he will, for he’s gat the dvy wilt,
+ OFFICE NO 2, MARKET.ST,
and they say such folks never dies.
The census-man having inquired the
number of females of the different ages,
and received the'iike satisfactory lll"(:}
next proeeeded to enquire the number
deaf and dumb persons. P s
Mrs. T. Why, there is no deef per«
sons excepting husband ; and he an’t so
deef as he pretends to be. When tl*
body axes him totake a drink of rum,
it’s only in a whiofer, he can hear quick
enough. But if 1 tell him to fetch an arm
ful of wood, or feed the Yni:" or tend the
gridle, he’s as deef as a horse-block.
Inq. How many dumb ?
Mrs. T. Dumb! m there’s no
dumb body in the house, except the wood
on-he:det{ man, and he never speaks un
less he's spoke to. To be sure, my hus
band wishes 1 was dumb, but he can’t
make it out. -
~ Inq. Are there any manufactures car«
ried on here. )
Mrs. T. None to speak on ; exeept
turnip-sausages and tow cloth. ‘
Inq. Turnip sausages.
Is there any thing so wonderful in that?
Inq. Inever heard of them before.—
v:'hn‘i;ind of machinery is used in making
them v
Mrs. T. Nothing but & bread-trough, a
chopping knife, and a sausage fller.
Inq. Are they made of clear turnips ?
Mrs. T. Now'you’re terrible inquis~
itive. What would you give to know ?
Inq. Why, I'll give you the name of
being the most communicative and pleas
ant woman I’ve met with for the last half
hour.
Mrs.T. Well now you're a sweet gen
tlemen, and I must gratify you. 'éou
must know how we mix with the turnips’
a little red cloth, just enough to give them
a color, so that t‘ney neeg’nt look as if’
they was made of clear fat meet ; then we
chop them up well together, putin a lit«
tle sage, summer savory, and black pep
per, and then fill them into sheeps in
wards ; and they make as pretty little del
icate links as ever was sct on a gentles
man’s table : they fetch the highest price
in the market.
Inq. Indeed!
Mrs. T. Yes sir, Have you any
thing more to ax ?
Irq. Nothing more. Good morning,
madam.
Mrs. T. Stop a moment—can’t you
think of something else ? Do now, that’s
a good man. Would’nt you like to know
what we’re a going to have for dinner, or
how many chickens our old white hen
hatched at the last brood : or how many
Inq. Nothing more—nothing more.
Mrs. T. Here. just look in the cup«
board, and sec how many red ants there
are in the sugar bowl, I hav’nt time to
count them myself, .
Inq. Curse on your ants and all yout
relations ! [Exit in a huffl]
(domlcllah'on.
A Yankee Trick.—A northern yessel
came into Wilmington, N, C. with a cars
| go of Rum distilled, as the dull, awkward
captain alleged, in the United States, and
as he believed, in Georgia. His papers
appeared fair enough, as far as they went,
but were thought to be rather defective.
The dates were somewhat old. He had
touched at Chaileston—he had assistéd ‘n
distressed vessel at” sea—he Nad been
blown off the coast, and I know fot what
lame and suspicious accounts he gave. It
was suspected he was smuggling from the
West Indies, and a very bad, a fatal cir
cumstance it was, his ram was good much
too good to be made at home. Every
rubicund nose in Wflminfiton smelt, and
every paiate tasted, and all said and swore
it was priwe West India. The vigilant
collector very pr'c}Perly libelled both ves
sel and cargo. The whining captain re
quested the rum mijht be sold to save exe
pense, whiie the trial was pending which
was accordingly done. It sold readily at
auction for §1 10 a gallof, while Daiien
and Newbern Rum, known as such, would
have brought enly 45 cents. No sooner
was the cargo sold and the proceeds fair
ly lodged in the Bank, than Jon#than
.eemeg to come to his senses.—He was
now wide awake. He found some of
papers that had been overlooked. He
could give a clear accoant of his voy
He proved beyond doubt, that his ~
was manufactured at Darien, His vessel.
was released, and he pocketed 65 cents
more than the common .gn‘ upon every
gallon! I believe he had the graes not
a the collcetor for dma‘u——[ma
Taylor, the water poet, who lived in
Chacles the First’s time; gives the follow
ing line as reading backwards, and for
wards the same e :
“ Lewd did I live & evil I did dwel,”
and adds, “1 will give any man five shils
lings & piece for as many as he can make
G:W"