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ESTABLISHED 1879. ONLY BACHELORS WANTED. MAFFETT & MERRITT, Editors and Proprietors. SUBSCRIPTION, (I PER YEAR IN ADVANCE CHEYENNE AND ARAPAHOE AGENCY, Darlington, Indian Tor Young men whoso ambition is to bo witty should always remember that to be witty a man must first be wise Laziness is the only disgrace I know ol that cannot be redeemed to a certain extent by appealing to its self-respect. It is impossible in my mind to wipe out vice by persecution, but it is pos sible to make it unhealthy by prosecu tion. Ho that is not married is to be pitied; he that does not intend to bo is either a fool or has reasons that aro not to any man's credit. True happiness seems to consist in not only enjoying all that we possess but in feeling good that others enjoy the same privilege. Consolation that comes to a man after death has released him from his struggles is of no moro use to him than the epitaph on his tombstone. By making the best of tho world under adverse circumstances wo chal lenge its sympathy; by making the worst of it we merit its contempt. The man who tells with truth all he knows, when the time comes to do his talking has but little to say, and sits down when ho has said it. Goucrosity grants man credit for his good motives; but the world in its sel fishness, loses sight of motives, only bccs results, and cures him for his fail ures. Beware of the man who knows ol nothing worth living for but to love all mankind. It is not reasonable. It is not to be endorsed, either, as human nature. 1 never had any great desiro to buck all humanity, but if any one else wishes to take a turn at the bull-wheel ho fian have my chance and I will hold his coat for him. In a two-handed game where both arc marrying for money, I can most generally put-agood deal of enthusiasm into a responsive "Amen!" when I learn that both got swindled. The trouble seems to be this: Every man is on tho watch that some other man does not cheat him, but seems to forget that he himself wants just as much watching (often moro) than the other man docs. Pettibono's Defeat. Parson Brownlow's son John used to tell a good story about the canvass for Congross in a Tennessee district by Maj Pottibone, a very eloquent man, a classical scholar, educated at Michigan University, and with a range and depth of information which proved his de foat. It was said that he quoted the Latin poets, while his competitor told familiar jokes adapted to tho compre hension of tho not-over intellectual populace of that region, and thus se cured his election. Ono day during tho canvass Taylor and Pettibono were ad dressing a crowd of mountaineers. Taylor dealt in jokes and stories suited to the comprehension of tho crowd, and kept tli cm in a roar of laughtor. Potti bone followed in his usual learned and solemn style, saying that ho should not attempt to excite tho risibles of the in telligent crowd. "What's that ho said?" asked a mountaineer of Brownlow, punching him in tho ribs. "Ho said ho should not attempt to ex cite VOUl' risibles." l'Onliftd Rrnwnlnw. "Excite my risibles!" exclaimed tho mountaineer; "what does ho mtan bv that." J 'Why, ho moans ho won't make you laugh," roplied Brownlow. "Then why didn't he say so? I can't vote for no sich!" And ho didn't, and a good many others didn't, and Pottibono was de feated in a district that in the election previous had gouo l,fi00 Republican. en: ferlcy Poorc in Voston Pudget, A. Married Man Vain Search, for a Children's Paradise. "Do you happen to know of a quiet, comfortable, cozy little place in the country where a man with a family can obtain fresh butter and new-laid eggs and cream and green grass for the children to run upon and and- all that sort of thing, at a price that would come within reach of a moderate income not too far from the city?" "How far did you say the income was from the city?" inquired the writer, somewhat confused. "I want to live in the country," con tinued the lirst speaker, "where my chil dren can get fresh air from tho hills; where they can climb rocks and fences and trees and tear their clothes and go to bed at night robustly tired, and get up in tho morning robuitly refreshed; wlicro they can gather the llowers that bloom i" tho spring, and " "Bothei' tl e flowers that bloom in the spring! Po you happen to know what month it is?" "January, the latter part of Januarr, and tho man who expects to luxuriate in a quiet, comfortable, cozy little place in the country during tho coming summer has got to begin to look about him or tho pastoral paradises will all be gobbled up." "Let me talk to you a minute," said tho writer. "Last year we my wife and I thought wo would go into tho country for the summer. My wife, my foolish, ignorant wife, said it would be so nice for the children, and as there were four of them and only one of my self the majority ruled, and wo decided to go. And I was to look up a place. I had looked up a place in the city in the fall, and my blood still boiled at the recollection of the slights and humilia tions heaped upon me during that week of 'looking up' whenever a prospective landlady discovered that three children filled out the list of encumbrances in the Jenkins household besides my wife. A wife was bad enough in the estimation of most of them, what a city boarding-house keeper wants is a bachelor who needs a whole floor and will pay for it -the price of the rooms and board for six people and is never home to lunch and goes away every Sunday, and then she will stop up two burneri of the three-armed chandelier in his room. But this is a disgression. There were only three children in the fall, and there were four in the spring, and I was glad the looking-up process whs to be con ducted in the suburbs. I took a list of all tho eligible (?) places within a radius of twenty miles from town and began. I tried the farm-house racket lirst. Those 'ads' read well: 'Wide, cool porches, plently Of shade, fresh eggs, chickens, cream, etc' Such places, I thought, will please other than the children among the Jinkinses. But I novcr could imd them the place, I mean. They must have moved tho 1st of May. I did find ono that bore out to a limited extent the rosy visions engen dered by the newspaper notice, but the farmer had a very cross dog, a great big ugly-looking bull and mastiiF mon grel, and when 1 told him I was afraid of that dog with the children he smiled rather peculiarly I thought, and after ward said he couldn't chain him up be cause he had never found a chain strong enough to hold him. So I decided not to go there. Then I skipped farm-houses and tackled 'villas, and found thorn as weak a lot as the gingerbread gablo rail ings which decorated them. Every thing was weak about them but the prices, and those were firm enough. Some were 'genteel,' in addition to their weakness, and when I struck ono of those, I quoted from tho litany, "Good Lord deliver us!" and crossed tho street. "I spent a fortnight going about, oil and on, and got pretty tired of it; but at laat I camo across'a very pleasant look ing place in a pretty village, only eleven miles out of tho city. Tho yard was tho attractive part a real country yard, with old shade trees and clean grass, and the scent of tho applo blossoms coming in on evory breozo from tho orchard beyond. And Hiked the place, although the rooms were low and squat ty, and the mistress of the maiise just the opposito, tall and scraggy, and I overlooked much for that yard for tho children. But when I mentioned them my prospective landlady stiffened and asKed in a Polar sea tono: " 'How many?' , 'Four,' I replied, so promptly tha she jumped back a little, and then she began to remark: "'She had occasionally taken one, but four she couldn't think of, particularly with two of 'em boys; they would track mud, and ' " 'Yes, I shouted, interrupting her, and trample the grass and chase the chickens and try to milk the cow and probably get kicked for their pains and whistle and shout and littor the house with angleworms, for bait and eat bread and butter three times a day, to say nothing of between meals, and that is precisely what I want them to do and what 1 pay lor. Do you suppose, mad am,' I went on, dropping my voice sud denly, 'do you suppose that my wife and I would endure life for one week in these undersized, stuffy apartments of yours or sleep the second night on these lumping husk mattresses as your beds if it were not for the sake of tho same four children whose existence you deplore? Do you imagine it is for your society and the privilege of lighting mosquitoes and taking baths in a tea cup of water and using 10 to 12 inch towels and eating chuck beef and rump steak that we come out to a place like this for a summer?" "And what did madame say?" "She said she was very sorry, but she couldn't take the children, and to be sure and fasten the gate as I went out." "Well." said the gentleman, as he turned to go, "if you happen to hear of a quiet, comfortable, cozy little place in the country such as I want let me know." New York, Times. A Pretty Vanderbilt Story. In a Fourth avenue horse-car going up-town one day a plainly-dressecl wo man was riding, accompanied by a bright-eyed child just old enough to be asking a good many questions. The pert young miss of 3 or 4 years was in tent on oeing on familiar terms with everybody within reach, and one of the passengers within reach was Mr. Van acrbilt. He had a small package in his hands, and the child insisted on reliev ing him of it. The mother, though wholly unaware of her seatmate's identity, did her utmost to protect him from the young mischief-maker's depre dations, but nor eftbrts were futile. And Mr. Vanderbilt, as the car rolled on, seemed really to have got to enjoy ing the wee bit of a "things flirtation. She went through his overcoat pockets, clambered over his knees, and couldn't have been a whit more familiar had she been of the house of Vanderbilt itself. At the thirty-second street stables there was a change of conductors, and a bearded young fellow came upon the rear platform, rang the signal bell, and started tho car onward through the tunnel. "Papa, papa!" shouted the little one excitedly, and off from the knee of the millionaire owner of the railroad she clambered to hold out her arms toward that bearded young fellow, the new conductor. The conductor recognized his distinguished passenger, and natur ally he was amazed his own child in the magnate's arms. He hastened to correct things, and, with what was not an unnatural earnestness, apologized for the baby's rudeness. "Tut! tut!" interrupted Mr. Vander bilt, "I've enjoyed my ride with her. Young man, I wish she were my own. She must be taken good caro of." And then, as the car turned out of tho tun nol to tho Grand Central Station, he patted tho little one affectionately up on tho head, and said good-by. Within a month that street-car conductor was holding a responsible position upon one of the big Vanderbilt railroads, a post that he holds to this day. That very night Mr. Vanderbilt had the young man's antecedents looked up, anil find ing his record clean, and assured that ho wras a man of energy and capacity, ho made a place for" him at one. New York Times. GEMS FROM CONFUCIUS. Cigarette Smoking in Winter, "Tho practice of cigarette smoking in the open air during a cold winter," said a well-known physician, "is un doubtedly a good thing for those who aro invetorate smokers. When smok ing a cigar in the open air, the ther mometer being below zero, the nicotine, which shoulu pass away with tho smoke, is condensed in the mouth and onters tho system, producing nervous ness, In my opinion, one cigar smok ed out of doors is moro injurous than a dozen smoked in a warm room. As to health, I would recommend cigarctte fiuaokiDia winter," rfonecr iVcss, m'fliinpn. ? w man Some of the "Wlso and Pithy Sayings of tho Famous Philosopher. Hb discrimination of character is aniply illustrated in the many wise and pithy sayings which he has bequeathed to us a few of which wc have grouped together, as combining his ideal of how man should behave in different positions of life. Thus, he tells us how "a poor man who does not flatter, and a rich man who is not proud, are passable characters; but they arc not equal to the poor who yet aro cheerful, and the rich who yet love the rules of proprie ty." "A good man in his conduct o himself is humble, in serving his supe riors he is respectful, in nourishing the people he is kind, in ordering the peo ple no is just." Again, a man "is to think of virtue, and not of comfort: ol the sanctions of law, not ol tion." Aim "wnat the superior seeks is in himself; what the small man thinks is in others." Ho was firmly convinced of its being more or less in the power of every man to acquire knowledge, and thereby wisdom. Honce, as Dr. Legge tells us in his 'Life of Confucius" (1867, p. CO), "his house became a resort for young and inquir ing spirits who wished to learn the doc trines of antiquity. However small the fee his pupils were able to afford, he never refused his instructions. All that he required was an ardent desire for improvement and some degree of capac ity." Thus, to quote his own words, "I do not open up truth to one who is not eager to get knowledge, nor keep out one who is not anxious to explain himself." By stimulating youth to study, he endeavored to create an in structed public opinion which should display an admiration for truth and goodness. That the same lovo of truth pervaded all his sentiments is exempli fied by a remark he one day made "Shall I teach you what knowledge is?" said he. "When you know a thing, to hold that 3'ou know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it; that is knowledge." His definition of hypocrites reminds us of their comparison to whited scpul chers in the New Testament namely: "There maybe fair words and an hum ble countenance when there is little vir tue." But lastly, it has often been urged that Confucius, in spite of his wisdom ancl the loftiness of his teach ing, had nothing to say about God or a future life. He preferred, however, to speak: of heaven as in tho following in stances: He who offends against heaven has none to whom he can pray," and "Alas!" said he, "there is no one that knows me." But his friends re plied: "What do you mean by thus saying that no one knows you?" He answered: "I do not murmur against heaven. I do not grumble against men. But there is heaven that knows mc.n Indeed, it has been truly said that he was unreligious rather than irreligious. And if he had not a knowledge of a di vine ruler it was his misfortune, and arose from no desire to disparage relig ious belief of any kind. In short, as Mr. Clodd remarks, his omitting to speak about God "was not because he was an unbeliever for he, of all ment had reverence for the sacred, unknown power that underlies all things but because his nature was so beauti fully simple and sincere that ho would not pretend to knowledge of that which he felt was beyond human reach and thought." But, nevertheless, ono can not but regret that his teaching was not more distinctive in this respect, espe cially as it was destined to be such a mighty motive power in molding the Chinese character of untold generations. T, Q. Ttyisclton Dyer in The Quiver. Worth of a Newspaper, There is great rejoicing among tho peoolo when the price of a great paper is reduced from five to four, from four to three, and from three to two cents, or from two to one cent, and there is no doubt men who would like the price togodown to one-half cent. I never rejoice at such a time, because it means penury, domestic privation, starvation! No newspaper in the land can afford to bo published for less than live cents a sheet. liev. Dr. Talmage. The papers sny Jay Gould lias no right to kick ; he brings on strikes by his greed. Per haps he docs, but a man always kicks when his lloxle' gored. Loxcdl Citizen.