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- wi,i.fe nsr. i ,w e ..jw.vMnwti.'Awnr'iwiH'trffiMWtn1' i iun.i 1 -p" "Timriim " ("'" -- - iev iw tbi"V -"v"-e-- -. t,r' 'I, J0 HAWAIIAN GAZETTE, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 1908. SUMI-WEEKLY TO hulast Mmmmm 11 ft fc iff. BYSTAHDE& .$ '1 '" Mandarin and Bhrlner. Tho American. Nobility, a ambling in Chinatown. Tho Coming Bakesnop. Nown for Honolulu. If tho Chinese officials had Been the Shrincrs yesterday they might have mistaken thoso brilliant mummcra for the reception committee and -would havo thought Hawaii civilized at last. To an old-fashioned mandarin, used to tho pomp of Asia and wearing linen that is purple and fine, tho regulation official costumo hero, the frock coat and black hat, must be a source of vnguo To a sashed and girded mandarin could nnything look less festive and more unBuitcd to a gala occasion than tho official garb of an American public man! Could nny kind of dress make a more melancholy impression on eyes used to sartorial pageantry! What assurance does n silk hat convey of hilarious occasions to comcf If Governor Frcar would put on tho lordly rig of an Potentate of tho Mystic Arabian Shrino and Mott-Smith tho blazing tunic of a Supromo Chancellor of the Holy Roman Empiro and, followed by Jim menagerie and the Arab Patrol, call on Celestial visitors, there is no telling wbnt friendships might grow up botwoen tho Orient and tho Occident. Then tbo East would feel that the West had paid it the highest possible compliment tho ono of imitation; nnd the flag of poaco would fly high. J OS J JS What is it, will you tell me, that takos a lot of hard-headed American ncss nnd professional men out in tho open, garbed in barbaric splendor and of 0 mind to solemnly address each other as Potentates, Princes, Sovereign Rulors, Grand Chancellors, Regents of 1'uradlse, Knights of tlio Grail, Grand Commanders and Holy Shepherds! It was long a mystery to mo who, having been onco an assistant general surveyor, nm satisfied with tho modest title of General and lot ambition go nt that. Lately I havo studied tho subject a good deal and lave como to the conclusion that these fino Old World titles havo a distinct thernpoutic value. They are a solaco for wounded pride. My friend John Billings of Otselic Center kept a small grocery just back of Calkins' tavern and a moro fellow I never saw excepting a littlo red-headed man out Wnkiawa way. "You, John," r.as.shouted at him a dozen times a day, and when ho heard it, unlchs he had lately been to lodge, ho dropped everything ho was handling, even if it was a paper bag full of eggs, nnd scurried across tho street. It got so that even a yellow dog from Beaver Meadow wouldn't wag lis tail at John.! It was beneath his pride. But onco a month John went to a lodge of tho Independent Order of Rechabltes and ns Majestic Chief Ruler in a turban of red and a tunic of white, with Jim I'addlcford's two boyB, dressod in togas and standing on each Bide of him with tin spears, ho forgot all his domestic afflictions and became n leader of men. When John went homo ho was dignified and elntc, and it bometimes took his stronger half two days to got him to turn the wringer or churn the milk. In tho meantime ho had got back some and his health had improved. There was Jotham B. Pratt from over Hubbardsillc way a littlo menching man with scant whiskers and bad teeth who felt that tho corner lamp post touldn't stand without him. He had o wife about four feet wido across tho anoulders and n mother-in-law who was sir feet four inches high and both of them kept an eye on Jotham B. Ho used to sleep in the garret on a straw bed iml ho was required to tie a string to his big toe, tho other end hanging in his wife's room below; and whenever either tho wifo or tho mother-in-law wanted itm to run for the doctor or get up and milk tho family cow or whenever either of them wns pcovish and wanted to spoil his rest, the string wns smartly yanked. Littlo Pratt only had ono dny of happiness a week and that was when ho got into his robes ns Illustrious Qcneralisslmo of tho Armored Lcvites of Persia. You wouldn't havo known Jotham B. then. He stood so straight ho seemed to 0 as tall as his wife was wide. He hold his lips togctlior so tightly that forgot his lack of teeth. When ho walked you would havo mistaken kfm far the village constable. I tell you that one day of human greatness saved Jotham to his follow men. It strengthened his nerve, smoothed tho creases-in his liver, expanded his chest, and before ho went homo to put that string on his too again his whole being had been toned up. For this class of our humblo fellow citizens and for those of us who aro too pnre nnd noblo to expect anything.in the way of titles from a rowdy electorate, I recommend the great American institutions w hero nny man who hangs on long enough can be n Mpjestic Autocrat and any woman a Sovereign t'hapcronc. In good effect on a rundown constitution nnd enervated by-laws it ft better than Palo Pills for Punk People, 5t & Jt v Sometime ago the next President of tho Hawaiian Sonnto remarked that ho tonld always tell when gambling had btartcd up in Chinatown by tho actions of .lis cook. When there is nothing doing, tho yellow chef' turns his wages over to Ms employer for investment; but.tho minuto and paikau rear their tempting crests, tho cook begins to drawn down. Vor over a year after laukca be came Sheriff, the deposit account grqw; but fivo days after Chief of Detectives- aaylor left for tho Coast a fateful trip, that, in many ways tho cook asked for hiB money. Now, with Taylor out for good, ho deposits nothing; and anyone who will visit Chinatown with nil insider will know the reason why. Gambling there, is at high tido; and though there aro many arrests of the small fry the tig one nre doing business liko so many water-wheels in a mill-race. W V V V When 1 go out of tho tailor business, I am going to start a bakeshop. I shall build a stone oven and get a Portuguese woman to make bread. Fortunate among men is ho who knows where to buy one of thoso whopping big and mar vellously good loaves tho Lusitnnian matrons bako. Thero isn't a lonf iu any store to compare with it; there nro not many to compare with it in private ovens. Next I shall send over to San Francisco and get someono to come hero and mako thoso long, slender French loaveB, which aro nearly all crisp trust and which ono can make a breakfast on. Hot sheet bread nu jneb and a half thick is also a luxury that will make my shop famous. German rye, fine and black, and Boston brown bread may bo counted on, too. In back of tbo shop, somowhwo, will be a scrupulously clean restaurant whero ono can got bread and Jarsey milk for lunch; perhaps soino cottage chcce, honey in tho comb and real' buckwheat cakes on the side. Thero will also be rusk and milk, which is n luxury almost unknown in Honolulu. I4sball tako somo bread hours old, dry and brittle. This I shall put under a common kitchen roller and reduce to crumbs. Tbeso crumbs will bo made to ortlor w they can't gather any humidity before reaching the table. On tbo table, which will be covered with 'a shining cloth, I shall put a few flowers, a largo thin china bowl filled with Jersey milk freshly dipped from n cold storage tin; a real silver spoon, a bowl of crumbs to use in tho milk instead of brend; and then leave tho customer to eat his fill. He will find that tho crumbs swell in tho milk yet retain a crispness unfl a nutty flavor which makes them a gastronomic luxury. There will bo ether ihings to cat, but a generous bowl of rusk and milk is enough for anybody. Let me- tell you about another simple dish, easy to digest and a proved strength-builder. Take a bowl of hot boiled rice, add two raw, fresh eggs, pepper and salt to taste and moisten with cream or milk. After eating a bowl of thnt, you will feel all right until dinner time, no matter what hard work you may do. This dainty can also bo had at my bakeshop restaurant. J & Jt Jl Sometimes the files by mall contain news items we expected bv cable. Some times they explain why the cable failed, as witness the following from tho San investigator of October 26: "In catting about for interesting news items (furnished by us exclusively) our reporter dropped into tbo Associated Press office just as the most important items of world news were being prepared for Honolulu, for it is by tbo discriminating and brainy work of these young men that far-off point is kept in touch with tho momentous events which, woven into the piece, make history. "'Hero's an item about Emperor William's attltudo on the Balkan question.' 'All right that goes." " 'Hero's a good account of Billy Galoot's gamecock winning his first fight. Thousand present; great excitement.' 'That sol That's important. I have followed tho history of that bird from tho first, though I always doubted his paternity.' " 'Well, wo mustn't fall to wire thatl' So it was filed with 'Accepted Dispatches. ' , " 'Hero's something about 'Rev. Dr. Bingham dying in n Baltimore hospital. The illustrious translator of the Biblo into tbo Gilbert Island language; a noted missionary, etc., etc' " 'I never could soo why these doctors want to get a "reverend" posted on their namesl Who Is Dr. Bingham, anyway! I never heard of him or tho Gilbert Islands. Let's bcc, that's an island near tho west coast of Africa, isn't if! Guess thoso Honolulu chnps don't know 'who ho is or why he translated tho Bible, and they will thnnk us for sending only important news anyway.' Throw the item in the waste basket. "'Hello! Here's an Importnnt bit of news! Reads. "Mrs. Elmira Flor ence Rosy do Jones, tho noted nnd benutiful ballet dancer and actress, formerly . 1 4 111 1 4 .l!..ni.n nmtaHll till tl ( si 11 1 M of tho Tony Pastor company, uas uieu a uuei iur uivuitc uKuui ... ,..,......, Jack Bobby de Jones, tho, well known nnd popular bruiser. It appears that ho lnft homo nklni? her to await his return, as he had an important meoting with ,nn,m!H..n of the Socictv to Promote Moral Virtue. Less than hnlf an hour after, while walking in tho Bowery with a notorious woman, whoso name wo siinnress in the interests of public morality, ho met Mrs. E. F. R. de Jones hang ing on tho arm of a well known man about town. Tho surpriso was bo great that Mr. do Jones so far forgot himself as to pasto his beautiful wife, which was followed by a copious flow of the claret, ana a row cnsucii. ocusauouu. ,lAin1nnmnnll nm nrnmlsCcl.' ' ' " 'Oh, I know them both! Charming littlo ,lndy! Don't fail to cable Ihnt to Honolulu.'" And so, brethren, this is why Honolulu did not know of Dr. Bingham's death till the slow mail brought tho sad news. - - : . ., Small Talks J JOSEPH T.' Wynne took his, sentence brnve man. Of course, ho was a bit put out that ho had to be hanged. CHAMPION GUNNER, 8HEEHY I liked Honolulu when I was- here 01. the Maryland, and decided that it was the place I wanted to live in. I'm hero to stay. F. T. P. WATERHOUSE Enough have promised to be present to make tho dinner nt tho close certain, so tho meeting of the Rubber Growers' Association will bo n success. ALEXANDER HUME FORD Wo havo decided to uso ncctylcne now for illuminnting our surf boards at the Outrigger Club. AH other illuminating processes seem failures. . JOHN EFFINQEBr What tho Promotion Committee wants to work for is hotter transportation to and from the Islands. Wo have everything else but that, nnd without that everything else counts for little. POP SPITZER Say! A feller asked mo if I wanteds political job whero thore was nothing to do. What do you think it was! Ho said I was juBt thi man to bo Inspector of Pork nt Jerusalem. DR. J. H. RAYMOND Tho best rain the part of Mnui has had for months occurred Friday afternoon and night. The rain up in the moun tains wns heavy. Kula has had no rain lately unless this rain reached it, but thero have been heavy dews of late which havo helped out. LOYD OIIILDS It is my opinion that tho Fishinarket people should be compelled to mako uso of Bwing fans or punkahs to keep tho flies off tho fish and meats. This is done in other cities, and certanly should be done here, whero tho weather is so much warmer. That is one drawback to tho display of fish hero, for thoy attract flics in inyriads, and cither should bo under cover, or use tho fnns I have spoken of. CAPTAIN GREGORY It was tho votes we brought in on the Kinau that elected Joe Forn tho first Mayor of Honolulu. JOEL C. COHEN Since I made public my views on the land and taxation question I havo been besieged by people who want to tell mo how mistaken 3 am. Thoy haven't proved it to mo yet. CHARLEY CHILLING-WORTH Wo hear that there were soven votes thrown out for, John Lano at Punuluu because the voter had marked too many deputy sheriffs. Wo can't get anyone who' will swear to this though and give us n chance for a recount. FRED CARTER With the one oxecption of that insidious heart worm, there is nothing tlint threatens dog life in these Islands, 'and thero is no reason why this should not make an excellent place for the encouragement of tho finer breeds If properly attended to, dogs aro very healthy here, but they would bo all the better off if some export with time1 to spare would search for a real remedy for tho heart worm. JOHN CATTON If Punahou had only been content to do n trifle more passing nnd feed their ends so that they could got away with a clear run, they would have mndo a much better showing' against tho High School. I feel firmly convincod that nn interpolation of a littlo Rugby in nu end run with tho inter forenco breaking up to drop back and take a pass when the runner is tacklod, would provo an invincible play in the intercollegiate game, Ii. O. KEATING I havo been very much impressed with the prevalence of the sporting spirit in Honolulu. I noticed somo youngsters ploying baseball on a baro lot today. Not ono of them was taller than the bat he wielded, nnd yet thoy played a game that would put to shame tho best efforts of tho avcrago school kid on the mainland. Why not get up an All-Hawaiian team to tour tho States! I feel sure that tho venturo would bo a great success. - K" if ' K ' n? & jS" J" if if? a? tf" j? K" f " & tf & if i K" jo j?" & i? s9 tf o it? ? tf f jf j? , . , , h WnrH HrpsiHpnh ...., .. . . ... & Kansas City Journal. fe $&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&& &&&&&$&. Mr. Nicholas Loiigworth, tho President's denies having said that tho Roosovolt family program contemplated a return of tho President to power eight years from now. But even if Mr. Longworth had mndo tlio statement attributed to him it would havo stopped far short of tho message of prophecy just launched by the Rev. Dr, Wilbur Crafts. To Dr. Crafts' lot it has fallen to horald forth tho gorgeous plan for making Thcodoro Roosevelt president of tho world! " Of coursa it is somo sort of n "reform" bureau thnt has conceived this maBtorpieco of superlative idiocy, but Dr. Crafts assured his congregation in Washington that, "great as tho magnitude of tbo task is, it will bo carried out." To quoto further from the nows dispatches: " 'Our campaign,' said Dr. Crafts, in speaking of tho work of his bureau, 'is fighting bad shows; is putting nn end to race track gambling; is driving liquor out of government buildings nnd removing rum and opium altogether. I beliovo we shall see President Roosovelt as president of tho world, and that there will bo a Hague government with a legislative and executive department.' " Tho Roosevelt methods have brought out a startling series of reckless and Impassioned horo worshipers, each with somo sort of amenomania calculated to emancipate the human raeo from every evil handicap through tho mediation of Theodore Roosovelt. Having advised tho American mothers how to take caro of and enlarge their familios; the writers of this land how to spoil their native, tongue, and tlio general public how to catch a coyote with tho naked hands, what constitutes n mollycoddlo and a "malefactor of great wealth," how to reform business by demolition and pother superlative feats of statesmanship, President Roosovelt now' feels the restraint which must have galled Aloxander when ho sighed for other worlds to conquer. It were too bad to puncturo prematurely tho 'beautiful and childlike dream of ono Dr. Wilbur Crafts, but it might bo ventured tentatively and in all due humility that perhaps the rest of tho world does not want Mr, Roosovelt as ruler. Germany is very prosperous and ns peaceful as possible under the Kaiser, who has many pf tho Roosovelt characteristics. No doubt, as Germany's increased home trado was duo in some measure to Roosevelt's attacks upon American business interests, tho people of the ratherland aro quite willing for Roosevelt to continue as president of America. Tho people of Franco havo been Inuching at us for sovcral years because of tho antics of our Impulsive Presi lent. In fact, there nro good and substantial reasons why no country on the faco of the enrth would want Roosovelt for president, including the United States pf America. K'tnotc K'jPicjCK'ic'jCK'iCiciriPjru'iPjf'if'H'iPH'ic'iCscK'iPjf sc,K'Jl, Shriners Parade Amid Admiring Thousands The Shriners' parade yesterday was ono of tho best Honolulu has ever seen. The familiar emerald small clothes of Sam Johnson twinkled not at the head of the Arab Patrol, but Captain Harry Murray shouted the orders most efficiently and tho Arabs wheeled, shunted, and ovoluted with their old timo precision. Potentate E. C. Brown, in a dovo colored robo and turban, led his host on tho march, in close company with him being tho other officers of the Shrino, each arrayod in a glory that Solomon might havo onvied. Brother Georgo Filmer, Past Potentate of 'Islam, the guest of honor of Aloha, was in the parade, driving a sextet of applicants for Shrine honors, each wearing a gorgeous holoku and a hula skirt. Including the Arab Patrol there wero eighty-five wearers of tho Tez in the lino of, march yesterday, not to mention tho luckless ones who aspire to bo on the inside of tho Shrine secrets and who paid yesterday for their temerity. Ajfoaturo of tho parado was tho presence of an elephant andta dromedary in tho line, which pair winked solemn eyes and wagged irrelevant tails nt the crowds. The victims were ragged out regardless of cost and were the recipients of many an ironical cheer and complimentary quip ns thoy walked along the hard rond that led to their testing out ' w & J i J .5 J J J ,! . J . .St .Jt w J J . t .J J & Jt J .X Jjt Jl OJ J Jt . i (From Sunday's Advertiser.) In all the pomp and panoply of war, chambers. Billy Campbell and A. H. fluttering pennons, flashing arms, rich Jungclaus, adorned in pink tights, vestments and stunning gowns tho gauze ballet skirts and bodices cut' dcml Sheiks of Aloha paraded themselves be- tnsse, coquetted'' with their friends fore admiring thousands yesterday and aong tno routo from tho sidesaddles of mndo their annual pilgrimage through n C0Up)D of skittish ponies, led by two tho city. streets. Preceded by a full others of tho lowly kind. Harry intersperspd with savago beasts son trundled a sugar loading machino unknown to nny zoology and followed according to his own design (patent by a siring of bedraggled but by'no applied for) nnd nnnounccd by placard menns bcgruntlcd cnptlves, the to tho world that ho was moving a i slon lined its triumphant way through warehouse. the lanes of cheering populace swept; Anothcr tnma,w n n Bcm. through tho city over tho freshly water- rosCj who was th(J f fot ed blinked into the macadam, stra.ght , perambultttor lnbccd .lBn,t it aw. face' of tho and looked sun pleasant flllj lahcW, 0 also lnvltcil ovcryono long enough for a score of camera, to to ,,Ask mo al)0ut it hand,ea tho snap nnd then .steered a jaunty course ,ianalc3 like ft professiona, and novcr straight for tho torture chamber. Hero pgct his load once auring tho w tho inquisitorial degree was conferred J r. ch , managcr of T r. Davlos. on tho shrinking novices, the brands groccrj. dcpartra(mt) pald pcnanco for """ ""lK,,;u W1,u "lu w:lllra OI ""-'his ambition to own a red cap by and tho of the Shrino great day inR to advcrtiso the groeerie, of Hack-was over All that remains today are fcM & Co, aa tll0 bcst and ch(.apcst tho memories of the vows scared on tho " wh,,0 jjoscoo Pcrkin3 got miter,B consciousness of the now Shrine nmn w imvin . ,. ,, i bers, the various black, blue and automohi,. nf ,, ,, .,, low spots of tenderness developed in sundry available places, and ono case of ptomaino poisoning, symptomed by a great dryness behind the lips and a low persistent phenomenon of ing stars above the eyes. , , x. y drawn by n fellow victim, who did not requiro to bo cranked. Candidato -Captain Kidwell was labeled "a pinenpplo that has gone to seed" nnd J. L. Young exhibited with tho air of a near-Edison, a "plan of Fort Shatter, as I designed iti" Tho procession was brought up by a chemical ongine and hoso wagon, tho magnificent horses in two toams being admired by many who had never before seen tho animnls going Blow enough to look at. Tho parado formed at the K. P. hall about two o'clock, marced to the Capi tol by way of Fort and Kinej streets nnd swung into tho grounds. Here, massed in a brilliant group on the front steps of tho building, an official and a score of official photographs were taken. Then tho parade wound its way back to tho K. P. hall and what followed is shroud ed in mystery. Tho shrieks of the victims wore masked by tho explosion of thousands of flro crackers and the dead wore cast into tho subterranean vaults. A grand banquet last night at whichl J tho .sore in body but triumphant inji spirit drowned their woes J in arnicated brought tho annual Shrino gathering to a successful finish. The nowly created Shrincrs are: Harry Dcnison, John Kidwell, R. H. Berarose, J, Lj. Young, John Detor, R. C. Lydeeker, A. J. Spitzcr, J. F. Child, C. E. Wright, E. N. Holmes, A. Menc foglio, Roscoe Perkins, W. B. Lswoll, T. M. Church, John Clark, Jorgen D. Capilos, D. W. Anderson, A. II. Jungclaus, C. L. Bosson, A. 0. Wall, Henry Beckley, P. I. Cleghorn, DEMOCRATS CELEBRATED THEIR ELECTION VICTORY (From Sunday's Advertiser.) xiie .Democrats concluded a scries of jollification and congratulatory meetings, which formed themselves into a eomplcto circle around this Island, by a monster one at Aala Purk last night which 'was attended by several thousand people. The candidates, successful and unsuccessful, started out Inst Thursday morning over tho Pall, and meetings were held at ovcry village and settlement from Kancohe to Waialua. Lunus wore almpst as frequent as meetings, and everywhere thero was much enthusiasm over a victory which put ten Democrats in office on this Island and gavo the most important executive offices to the party. Automobile Procession. Tho meeting last night was pro-ceded by a procession of the candidates, headed by the Hawaiian band, around town. Tap candidates met at the party headquarters, Waverley Hall, soon nfter 7 o'clock. The Hawaiian band, under Captain Berger, joined them on Bethel street. With the band in a tally-ho and the candidates and officials-elect in automobiles, tho procession moved to King street nnd thence to Bishop and Hotel, and then to Anil. Park. There was a crowd at tho park to receive them, and tho affair took on the aspect of n great celebration. Of course, there was speech-making. All of tho victorious candidates, and some' who wero not, expressed their thanks to the voters, renewed their I rnmises to support the principles of tbp party platform, and work for the public good. Edward 'Ingham preside (and mndo a very happy speech in opening th meeting, and other littlo speeches in introducing the various candidates, successful and clhorwise. W, A. Kinney went most carefully and (omprehenslvely into the results nlid meaning of tbe election, L. L, Mcl'andless spoke particularly of tl'J congressional fight. Frank Harvey addressed the Homo Rulers particularly, telling them that n voting tor th'ir candidates they were helping rhe Republicans, whilo their real interests art1 instincts wero with the Democratic party. Jarrctt was vociferously greeted and made a frank, manly, speech jt thanks. f TAX COLLECTIONS Tho unpcnalizcd tax collections for thoi second period closed Inst night at 10 o'clock with collections so far this year of $075,720.10, as against collections from January 1 to November 30, 1007 of $017,289.00. Tho collections this year havo making a total for tho first fourteen days of Novomber of $285,043.02 as against $221,511.50 for tho first fifteen days of November, 1007. Tho collection this year have therefore greatly exceoded thoso of last year. Tax Collector C. T. Wilder feels very much gratified with tho showing made. Already this year thoro have been moro than $28,000 moro collected than was collected last year up to the end of November. SAVE MONEY BY BUYING CHAMBERLAIN'S COUGH REMEDY. You will pay Just as much for a of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy aa for any of tho othor cough medicines, but you save money by buying it. Tho saving is in what you got, not whaiyou pay, Tho quality s in overy bottlo of this remedy, nnd jrou get good results when you take it. For sale nt all dealers. Benson. Smith & Co., Ltd., agents for Hawaii. MJr, Frost, who has been connected with 0. B. Hofgaard & Co., of Wuiraea, for two yiars, has resigned his position and will leave for Honolulu at the end of the month in order to enter the employ pf Theo. h, Davjes & Co. , ' .a. ,. , . i' aW i .