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m t')iWiwHn m.m" ui a.) i 'iiHKwi' .'r'rrrm " """" ''' iiiTOM:M'iftiMwtnmi MumkMmrwrui.nmkmm HAWAIIAN GAZETTE, TUESDAY, JANUARY 30, 1912. -SEMI Lcap Tear Opportunities. Bomo EUglblo Eligible. Taint Heart Ko'or Woa Coy Bachelor. Personal Bights. Mr. Cooper Replies. I ' J J -y In this ora of tireless cookers, smokeless guns, wifeless husbands and cgglcss cakes, it is not strange that the sun, moon and stars havo regulated timo to Bueh an extent that thero is left a whole year at Intervals, when mero man as a wooer la dethroned; but ho has numerous consolations. His fortuno need not docreaso in a vain effort to pay tho chauffeur for trips or pass his salary over to tho florist for Amoriean Beauties, to lay throbbing, panting and alluring on tho bosom of somo fair siren. No, indcod, ho may instead dwell in placid pcaco within hiB bachelor Innai, and wait until fortune, in the shnpo of somo fair maid, knocks at his lonely door. Leap Year is a season sot aBldo by some port wino committee for tho CX' press purpose for providing an opportuno time for fashionnblo divorcees, old maids and grief-stricken widows, to bestir thcniBolvcs, and shufflo up somo old church aislo to tho dear old wedding march. Ono's most conceited idea of marriage is Hko going to heaven in n festoon of bride's roses, mallo and swcot music, nnd returning via tho kitchen routo with carpet sweeper, n yard boy, saucepans and balky gas stoves. Nevertheless, every womnn wants a man becauso ho is a repository for nnd aside from that, ho can pay her bills, if ho so elects. So Mr. What's-His-Namo has cntorcd a new year. It has been remarkably easy for him to mako fino resolutions for 1912, but can bo keep them! He need not woo, though he will bo pursued. He may array himself in steel armor, closo his eyes to tho evil maehinations of woman's wiles in a variety of styles, but say will hot The momentous importance of his freedom for n timo will show how ery significant is tho gamo of love. Ho will in all human probability pass from his throno as easily as a mynah flies from ono dato trco to another, ondi mnny of tho most confirmed of Honolulu's bachelors will, boforo the dawn of 1013, have becomo doting Benedicks. But for the next year, at least, every unattached male is privileged tcJ ceaso his love-making, thnt is, of course, if ho has not found it a good investment. If ho has an affair d 'amour which lays as heavily on his heart as tho assessment on his oil stock, ho may throw it aside as lightly as ho pleases, though tho chances nro it will bo nssumod by his loved ono, who will romovo evory obstacle and clear his vision of doubt, as a Spring rain washos tho air. For now is tho day of tho woman, and if thoro bo any "female of tho species" who is less thau seventy-eight years, six months and twolvo days, who has lived in mild despair up to January 1, 1912, now may she stako now claims. So 1912 will bo given up to tho gentle wiles of woman. Everything rests with her. Sho may becomo a wife, or n BufTrngetto as sho wills, and in the,' hearts of tho men thero will bo a goading unrest. As it is writton in tho law of Mosos, or some of those good old book's, that man should not live nlone, why should ho, especially if thoro is a woman willing to offer love in homeopathic doses, until ho can tako tho full strength without injury to his heart! As for Tho Bystander who is married ho wishes every woman success in the pursuit, anil to nid her in hor choice, provided sho lias not yet decided upon her fate, has gathered together a list of tho most oligiblo of Honolulu's bachelors, which may be of vnluo to her as sho makes her selection. J J J JX First on my list is Mr. Itoscoo W. Perkins, a very marriageable bachelor, who lias been such for somo time. Tho only wonder is thnt ho has not been captured on somo previous leap year by somo fair iltunsol. Even his closest friends admit that it will havo to bo tbo woman in tho case who docs tho proposing as far as Itoscoo is concerned, and they also admit that it is a wonder bo has escaped so long. Ho has a nice, oven disposition nnd could bo domesticated easily by tbo right woman. Ho has domestic tendencies although a member of tho Wuliino Kapu Club and has been such since its founding, severnl yoars ago. Ho is tbo only member of the original bunch who 1ms uscapod'mntrimony. Air. Perkins has a Uno photographic business, owns au automobilo which is ono of the classiest in town, and is tho proud master of a blooded Boston bull terrier which answers to tho namo of "Duchoss." Those are his qualifications and his drawbacks, so that all unmarried worn on may have n chance to judga for themsehos. It is four yoars beforo thero will bo another opportunity for somo fair damsol to eapturo this prizo by a proposal of her own. "Luck favors tho bravo." For strictly domestic purposes, I can recommend Mr. Charlos Hustaco Jr7 a son of tho soil, with a good flguro in person and on his bank doposit book. As a matrimonial partner for somoono who desiros a man sound in wind and limb and thoroughly dependable, anyono could go farther and faro worso than in proposing to Charley. It will bo necessary, however, that tho ono who takes up the wooing of Mr. Ilustaco should havo a talking knowlodgo of Republican politics and be fond of out-of-doors. Mr, Ilustaco 's address is on tho lanii of 880 S. Borctania. Andrew Adams, plantation manager, bandsoino as a photogravure, always dines in n Tuxedo, as careful of his linen as bo is of his secrets, steady and with tho full complement of limbs, what moro could anyono desire 1 As a 1012 bargain, Mr. Adams is in a class by himsolf. Ho is approachablo and has been heard to Bay that no man should livo nlono. Tho manager's Tcsidonco at where Mr. Adams can bo frequoutly found and whoro ho lives, is within easy motoring distanco of tho city. Ho has not yet passed and tho only surprising thing about him is that in theso days of excitement and surprises and matrimonial upheavals ho has not bcon hooked. v. As to Mr. William P. Both, broker, no girl need bo deterred-from paying her addressos bocauso of his fiorco appearance. He ib not as wild as ho looks, but on tho other hand is exceedingly gontle, and, ob tho saying goes, "will cat of tho band" of tho woman who is kind and alTcctionato with bim. And then, he is ovory inch a man, and thoro nro a considerable number of inches to him, His prosenco and agreeable manners should insuro consideration favorable consideration from any damsel or widow upon whom fnto may bostow him. I J t J Jt Mr. Kdward Dokum, capitalist and man of the world, who resides at Tbo - Macdonald, is another peach upon tho matrimonial treo who has been allowed to blush himself into Binglo ripcfulncss. It is by no means certain that Mr. Dekum would fall into tho first hand that reaches out for him, but ho could bo plucked with a firm and a determined grasp. Faint heart nevor won blooming bachelor, you know. Mr. Dokum has a steady job with Tho Advortiscr, but doesn't really bavo to work. Ho has bopds and stocks drawing interost enough to keep a very fino establishment running Bmootbly nnd is certain to turn out to bo a good provider. Ho neither drinks nor cbowB tobacco and Btnokos only tho best grado of Havanns. Ho has been heard to express a prefcronco for widows, whilo any fair suitor would find that a German accent would bo a holp to her, Mr. Dokum has arrived at years of discretion but Is in no wlso shopworn, "lfe is too nice to remain singlo," is a remark frequently heard- in connection with Mr, William II. Mclnerny, manager and pnrt proprietor of the M, Mclnerny, Limited, shoe store on Fort street, who lives in single blesseduess at 407 North Judd. An athletic girl, with a tasto for yachting, would bo tho ono to go after this matrimonial dainty. She would find in Mr. Mclnerny one ablo to comfort in times of sorrow, ba tender during those periods of affliction which coma to the happiest of us and bo a true comrade and loving husband at-all times. Ho is ono of Honolulu's best dressers and is said to bo especially export in suggesting new nnd novel cuts for gowns, whila his generosity has nover been dputed. Should any air ono angle in vain for Mister William, thero is his, twin brother James D. James has tbo Batno splendid figure as William and tho iden tieat features, the main difference between tho two being that James knows all abont men's clothing and William knows all about footwear, male and fomale. Whoovcr gets eithor of them will have to put a distinguishing brand-on hubby, othcrwlso thero might bo complications. There is, next, Mr, Oliver O. Lansing. Ho answers io tho namo of Toots. Mr. Lansing is eligible and willing, although coy. In a strictly worldly way ho ranks among Honolulu's comers and carries it checkbook evon now. Ho is comely nnd hns no bad habits except that of being a bachelor. Ho can bo extremely agreeable, drives his own car and is warranted not to make a fuss ovor a late breakfast or long hairs in his military brushes. Distinctly a eateh. This Is by no means exhausts tho list of Honolulu's leap year eligible. As a matter of fact, if any unattached female puts her whole mind to it, there is no reason why tho New Yoar should come with any in tho cily. Last year was a prosperous ono and no good reason for refusals for any kind of proposals exists. I nay, therefore! Ladies, po forth and tnko full advantage of your Inst opportunities before tbo San Francisco Fair. I will bo glad to furnish any earnest lady, whether divorced, old maid or young girl, with the particulars I have on hand concerning Sam Walkor, one of the best in tho open market; Lieutenant Andrews, of General Macomb's staff, who looks cute in his uniform; Bob McCorriston, Judge Lymcr, Eobcrt Mist or narry Whitney. Tho last named is reported about gone, but somo quick hustling might fetch him up running before tho altnr. No trifle rs need apply. Remember, there arc only 337 days left beforo the oloso of this open season. J j J J J This fruit of meditation bas been ripening for several weeks, in fact, over sinco poor Victor Nhco becauso ho thought as ho said, that "he was a bad fish In puro water." It concerns ono doss of lawyers. Now I have no particularly grudge against lawyers. Not one of them has over succeeded in gotting me for a client. But tho class, known elsewhere as shysters, morits tho grudge of every honost man. When gonial old Dr. J. N. McCo'rmack, that big hearted chap who came down bore some months ago with his message to tho medical fraternity and to the pcoplo, said that tho reason the lawyers run tho country and nro so successful, is becauso no matter how much "fino frenzy" thSy might exhibit in tho courtroom, they're nlwnys "good fellows together" outside, ho meant, of courso, thnt lawyers nro always looking out for thcmsolves. Wo nil do that but it sometimes workB out in such an uncomfortable way for tbo other fellow, especially when tho lawyers do it. Victor Nhco killed himself because oriental runnors for some Honolulu lawyers wcro trying to get tho business offered to another member of tho profession, and it was in order to gain their point that they spread tho talcs which led to that melancholy and self-accusing note, "a bad fish in puro water." Nheo's death is checked up to tbo discredit of shysters. Understand mo, I don't rofcr to thoso who perform tho legitimate work of their profession, but to those who fatten on an espionage system among orientals. Moro divorces have been caused in Honolulu's oriental colonv through tho mnMiinnfinnn nf flienn rnnnnrs than would lonk nipo in n. hjir rnnnrf. WnrA ! lawsuits that could havo been settled by an amicable conference now clog the courts as n result of tho work of theso greedy parasites than tho courts should bo called upon to try. Fees ore scarco and lawyers nro many. Tho well being of many offices in this city depends on tho work of these runners, for tho most part Chinese and Korean, Theso men go about among their people making trouble that their principals mny settle it at a price causing hard feelings, stirring, up unrest, and above all, impressing on tho recoptivo oriental mind that this is a country whoro justice is sold, bartered and traded and tho lawyers control tho market, Thoro are not two judges in this city today big enough to shut up tho lawyer that begins to harp on tho personal rights of a defendant who has been convicted ton times boforo, a known crook. They don't daro do it and few can blnmo them. Should they break away from tho system tho ready appeal earns a reversal of their opinion. They aro accused among tho lawyers of unprofessional procedure nnd they have tho odium of the disapproval of a higher nnd less independent court, When wo consider personnl rightB, should not we havo Bomo legal expert toll us whether or not that class of the profession which lives on tho efforts of corrupt nnd crooked runners havo personal rights that permit them to destroy tho safeguards of law which tho public community has built up for its own protectionf Can tho community givo crooks personal rightsf " J J Jt J J W, O. Smith is'f earful lost thero bo "somo misunderstanding of tho situation growing out of a misinterpretation perhaps, of tho word politics." Mr. Cooper, chairman of tho Republican central committee, who is moro closoly affected by any interpretation of tbo word politics, is also fearful. But if tho public remains in ignorance of tho term, after its definition by inference given by both these, gentlemen during the week, then it deserves all that Mr. Cooper has written. , Mr. Smith wroto one letter and Mr. Cooper cultivated the habit to a greater extent, when it was learned that politics had been injected into the board of health's test examinations given to its inspectors. Mr. Smith said that ho wont only in the interests of the Hawaiian inspectors who should havo been pormitted to writo their papers in their own language, and Mr. Cooper only, becauso ho heard that they had not beon given eneugh time to proparo and that after all party politics camo beforo knowledge of health matters. Tho truth of the whole matter is that both gentlemen presented an open" and shut proposal to hold tho examinations over until after tho Republican convention. Doctor Pratt, as a matter of fact, gave the inspectors permission to writo thoir papers in any language ttioy wanted and they had four months' notice of the examinations, and two months to study a primer that an ordinary man could havo learned in two weeks. As most of the inspectors passed, Mr. Smith and Mr. Cooper were unnecessarily alarmed. The only impression Mr. Cooper bas created is that his committee is looking after the interests of tho board of health inspectors which is not a nice impression to create. Mr. Cooper says that "Doctor Pratt's action in seizing upon friendly counsel as a basis of attack upon the friends of the administration seems very, ill advised," Why should Mr, Cooper have said that! Doctor Pratt haB consistently refused to talk for publication, has made no attack and has not onco been quoted by any newspaper in that way, And then, if this were only "friendly counsel" for Doctor Pratt, why did tho political allegation go over his head and call upon tho Governorl v -. Good Citizenship the Main Thing Tho movement townrd commission government for municipalities has been checked, says a Boston papor. It has not, however, been stopped. While tho moro enthusiastic among its ndvocatos may bo disappointed becauso it falls short of maintaining its oarly rnto of progress, thoughtful observors will bco in tho apparent reaction n now and encouraging evidence of tho advancoment of wholesome civic convictions. It haB beon demonstrated in tho last few yoars to tho satisfaction of open-minded pcoplo that thero is nothing essentially I harmful in tho old system of municipal government. It works satisfactorily in mnny cities. On the other hand, it has beon established thnt commission government of itself does not boIvo municipal problems for thoso communities that havo long been suffering from misrule The commission form of government simplifies administration and frequently opens tho way for reforms that have boen obstructed by tho old system; but it has been proved timo and timo again that whoro tho people tako the same interest in the conduct or. tnoir jocai auairs undor the old ns they aro led by newborn civic prldo to tako under the now tho results nro equally agreeable. Tho wliolo mattor, therefore, resolves itself Into this, that it is not tho form of municipal government so much as tho citizonstiip behind it that insures honest nnd efficient administration. Whether the system be old or now, neglect by tho.pooplo of their public duties is certain to-find its natural reflection in tho management of thoir communal affairs. An indifferent or careless electorate will not ehooso as its trustees the most capable and trustworthy persons, nor will it oxorciso that watchful supervision wver the nets of its representatives in ofllco which prevonts looso methods of administration from becoming extravagant and corrupt. A keener appreciation of theso facts is turning thought to a considerable extent away from municipal reorganization nnd toward tho upbuilding of a moro conscientious and responsible eitizonship. It is seen by thoso who are receptive of tho good Influences diffused by everyday experionco thnt what is needed for tho creator political and moral advancement or American municipal itics is not legislation, but education, The individual citizen must bo taught and must como to feel, that lie fan not "delegate his civic responsibility to any political party or to any individual. If tbo government of his community is incompetent, "extravagant or corrupt, he does not fulfil tho duties of citizenship by simply railing at it. Ho roust assume his share of tho responsibility. Small Talks A. P. QanTlTHS. I am very much interested In tho discussion on education but have littlo to add to it. "'' CHARLES BARRON. I understand Honolulu wants me .to promote that Marathtn raco in San Francisco. " ED TOW8E. Hawaii will have a chanco at Chicago to present Mr. Taft with a slight token of its gratitude. SHERIFF OROWELL of Maul. Things aro mighty quiet over on our la-land now. We aro having no excitement. O. K. KEAWEHAKTJ. Tho local union has absolutely nothing to do with David Ewallko of Hilo Wo rccognlzo him only as an organizer. DEPUTY SHERIFF ROSE. -This was tho first time I over hoched tho Kaiser officially. I nover knew beforo what awfully good pcoplo the Kaiser's men are. CONSUL courtesy of Bear-Admiral Thomas in giving a saluto from his four, cruisers in honor of Emperor William was ono of tho most graceful compliments that could havo been offered. PROF. M. M. SCOTT. Thoro is a constant demand for tho product of our courses in, stenography, and tho supply of graduates is not great enough to meet it. This should bo something of an indication of tho efficiency of that part) of tho industrial work of tho public Behools. NORMAN WATB3NS. If Collector of Customs Stackablo is" not to bo reappointed then I am a candidate for tho job. I go to Washington to urgo 's reappointment, but if ho is not to bo selected then I Bhall work for tho' appointment, - A. F. GRIFFITHS. It will be a great spring for reminiscences of Dickens. Tho approaching centennial anniversary of tho author's birthday will bo tho motive of a number of scholastic celobrations at Oahi. College, and tho school work, particularly In tho English department, will be noticoably tingod with things pertaining to Charles Dickens. a. H. TUTTLE. The A. A. U. is looking forward to a Very successful field unci track meet on tho morning of Floral Parade day, Tho list of sports will include thoso oldtlmo events, tho javelin and discus, and thero are a number of old college men in tho Islands who are ready to teach tho younger clement how to handle thoso historic sporting instruments. HARRY CORSON CLARKE. And so my friend Georgo Lycurgus is a bloated bondholder. I thought I might renew acquaintanceship with him. When I was here about fifteen years ago I used to rido out on my bicycle to Sans Souci for a midnight plunge in tho surf, and thon ono of Lycurgus' suppers afterwards. I havo very pleasant memories of old Sans Souci. JAMES HOWE (Atchison G16do). Honolulu is progressing rapidly and I think I ought to como back hero again. I visited somo of my old haunts after getting off tho Cleveland, looked up somo of tho old boat boys, somo of the men on tbo wharves and even got taken over to Oahu Prison. However, my friond McDufilo took me along as a friend. Honolulu is a great town. H. W. BEODIE. I want to endorse the work of tho Hawaii Promotion Committee. Tho committco is using safe, sane and sure methods to bring tourists here. There should, however, be but ono organization and all funds should go to that, so thnt the citizens could cooperate with and get back of ono strong organization. I would like to say, also, that people who deface historic tablets,, such as that at 'the Pali, should bo given tbo maximum punishment. --. Trees for Highways The planting of trees along tho county roads, which was advocated at tho state grange, is a policy which this paper has long been urging, says tho Baltimore American. Tho systematic planting of trees along the road lines is something which everybody agrees should be done, but apparently it is ono of thoso betterments which, being everybody's business, Is on that account nobody's business. It is an affair which can be dealt with as a common interest, because tho road lines aro common property. Evory county ought to have a tree-planting policy, just aB it las a road building and a road-mending policy which is to say, there should be in overy county a carefully planned system whoreby trees of the kind best adapted to tho soil along each particular highway would bo furnished and the planting and tending bo provided for. Those intrusted with keeping the roads in repair could superintend tho planting of tho trees and look after them. The plan of planting trees along tho rood lines, if adopted generally, would in tho aggregate constitute an important forestry system for tho state. Every milo of roadway, bo planted, would represent more than a square aero devoted to forestry purposes, and it is only necessary to ascertain the aggregate mileage of the state's roadways to flguro out just how extensive such a state forestry scheme would be. It would be equivalent to planting thousands of acres in trees. : -- LEAP YEAR. 'Tis Leap Year, girls, and don't forget, The privilege of tho suffragette, "With bashful, hesitating beaux, Pluck up your courago and propose. Untie old Precedent's red tapo And' lot no guilty man escape. She who hesitates is lost, So land your man at any cost. If you bavo youth as well as beauty, Tho Leap Year cry is, "Do your duty." ". "Say, Horace, dear, will you bo mine V Of all mankind for yon I pino." If he a happy year should wish you, And slyly try to dodgo tho issub, Just get a grip upon his coat And put tho question to a vote. If ho votes "No," and you voto "Yes," Throw out nosignal of distress. - "nip, hip, hurrah, it is a tio .Blest bo tho tie that binds, you cry. , James McCarthy. --H Mrs. Henpcck You know tho saying: "Unlucky in love, lucky at cards." Henpeck And yet you won't lot mo play poker. I'd wura fortune. Boston Transcript. "Say. como over hero, old man. I want to ask you something in donee. Is there anything peculiar auout moi" "o. vvnyi" , handsome womnn just beyond tho punch bowl asked mo a momon ago whether I fiddled or played chess.' Springfield Union. DfJ.Collis'Brownfi The ORIGINAL and ONLY GENUINE Acts like a Charm lf DIARRHOEA, i. tho only Specific In CHOLERA and DYSENTERY. Checks and arrests FEVEH, CROUP, AGUE. Th Best Remedy known for COUGHS, COLDS, ASTHMA, BRONCHITIS. Tho only PolltatlvB In NEURALGIA, OOUT, RHEUMATISM. tonvlodnr Koaicau Twwaj aHiiJ " ?MinnaukibvUChemhu. I Sols Mumttctnren, Pnco la KngUnd, 1tb 2". 46. J. T. DAVXxrcuiT, Ui. London, SJB.