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CRESCO, HOW.VHD COUNT'.', IOWA. W. R. MEAD/ JTP. R. BROWN. One Copy, for one year, $1 *0 1" advance. KATES OK ADVERTISING. Klglit lines of Brevier mako a Sqnaro. SlSSTTTw'niw r** I "am "fmj lyr 1 S.i'reT #17 f'° L'2 '"iL4 I t. N. r. C.nen O. Chase. O 0 ou 10 2 Srr« |176| a «5 1 3 50 6 60 t_8_0i) 1'2 &(> a" "fa tio fa oo j" 4 ou 6 oo 50 ir_oo Col. ~j~4 00 5 DO o oof 00 I iroOJ'/OOtl XCol. 00 I 7 50 t* Qo"j 11 00 I 25«0 i 3^ 00 0 III) "|~12 00 fill oi -2'» oo i -to 0" no 00 llnsiti' -in carW "i IUv limM .ir Business Blrcetory. ATTORNEY AM COUNSELOR AT LAW, McGrcgor, Iowa, Will practice in tho courts of the 10th Judicial District. ^UUDIllCU & JIEAD, A'I"ICIIM VS AM 0OI'I SUI«OR8 AT LAW. Cresco, Iowa. Will give prompt attention to fill busi ness entrusted to tlioir care. Otlioe iu the Elevator. II. A. GOODRICH, W. R. MEAD. C. I*1JIi: E, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, s o I o w a KXOWIiES, M. D. CUESCO, IOWA, All calls iu the practice of Mcdicino and Surgery promptly attended to. J"A-S. McCOLLlJM, M. 1*. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. New Oregon Iowa. R^-ddence en west -dde of Main Street. 2nd House South of tlie l'iver. |n:"0v7 Ji nt-'sj ULUECIl 31. «. GERMAN PHYSICIAN & SURGEON GRANGER MINM. Will give prompt attention to nil calls in the line of his profession. Office and residence near the grist mill. [37v8yl OJITU- i' KSTEK3 HOTEL (FORMERLY EAGLE,) Opposite North Western, Milwaukee and Great Eastern Depots. COLEMAN, ADAMS & BRO., Trope'S. O. C. COLEMAN. Manufacturers of Slioo, Harness, Collar, Lace and Moccasin Leather. All kinds of Furs and Deer Skins dressed teenier. Ox Hide Robes and Housing on hand. Cash or Leather exchanged for Hides una tkins. II. Davis, "V f'lhase, V DEC OR All, Io. [nlSyl] J^ASD (OR SALE, lX IIoWAItD COUNTY, IoWA. 10,000 Acres, Of well selected Lands in Howard County, For Sale Cheap. Apply by letter to E. E. OTIS, REAL ESTATE BIIOKEK, «n5] Decornh. Iowa. WOOLISCBOVT, DEALER IS Green and Dried Fruits, Vegetables and all kinds of Family Groceries.—Four doors below Scott, Gould Si Co., MoGitSttOtt lo. O'&IRIE:*, i Wholesale and Retail Dealer In Qnm and Dried Fruits, Confectionery, Groceries & Provisions. BOOTH-WEST ORNKR FBBLIC 8QV ,\ MCGREGOR. O. TOW ASESO, 9 Wholesale and Retail DOaler In FORBION AKD DOMESTIC LIQUORS,WISES, NL]A ALB AND CXOARS. Masonic Block McGrcgor, Iowa. L.E SWRflSOJI. JEWELER One door North of the Prick Block, Has just opened up a fine assortment of cwelry which he offers for sale cheap. Especial attention given to the reparing jt watches &c. OLB SWENSON. March 2f th, 1867. [nl9.] lEMPLS: OF 3IUSIC. M. Bl. Jones. Pianos, Organs, Mclodeons, SHEET MUSIC, MUSIC HOOKS, And General Musical Merchandise. The American Organ is the Best. Vocal nnd Instrumental Instruction Given. TUNING & REPAIRING. All Instruments are fully warranted and kept repaired and tuned for two years. MCGREGOR, IOWA. 30V7] June 7,1866. v (LL1AM EDWARDS, Would respectfully announce that he is prepared to give his attention to MAKING & REPAIRING WAOONS, at Cresco, Iowa, and all work of his trade. Plows constantly on hand of the best patterns, cheap for cash. FIVE TOOTHED CULTIVATORS,&c. J8@» 3hop outh cf the Empire House. Crcsco, April 24, 1867. [23tf.] HE HEALING POOL, AND HOUSE OP MERCY. Howard Association Reports, for YOUNG MEN. on the CRIME OF SOLITUDE,and the ERRORS. ABUSES and DISEASES which destroy the manly powers, and cre ate in.pedimeuto to All RI AG F, with sure means of relief. Sunt iu eal-.l letter en velopes, free of charge. AddreS3, Dr. J. EKILLEN HOUGHTON, Howard Associ ation, Philadelphia P«. 35-v6 IOWA VOL. VIII—NO. 88. D" 1 MAM MOUSE. CRESCO IOWA. This house is eligibly situated to busi ness, near tho Depot of the McGregor Western Railway. By giving strict atten tion to the wants uf the traveling pubJic, they hope to merit the confidence and re ceive a share of public patronage. niSO 1 co. Id. Van Lcuvcn, Jr. LIME SPRINGS, IOWA. Will give his attention to the co'b clion of Claims, Arre.irs of .y, Bounty and Pension money due from the government to soldiers, their heirs, or representatives. By strict attention and fidelity to the in terests of his clients, lie hopes to merit and receive the confidence and support of those needing his services. (88tf. JJ ISAAC, Manufacturers of Wagons, Carriages, Buggic.- ivc-. at NEW OREGON IOWA. Solicits the patronage of the people of the surrounding country who nre in need of such work. Kepairing done promptly and on reasonable terms. [n26 UIllBAiD & CO. DEALERS IN Watches, Clock*, Jewelry, Silver-ware, Pianoes, Melodeons, Sheet Music. Music Books, &c., &c. MAIN STREET, X£XT DOOR TO BANK. McGrcgor, Iowa. nlo. IJESTAI'RAIiT. STEPHEN MeTIGUE PKoriutTOB Opposite the Depot, OXIKSCO XOIWA. Refreshments served up promptly and in the most approved manner to travelers and day boarders. [n30-8 c. A. CLYDE, Chicago DAVIS & CO. II. Bllacksmith, CRESCO, IOWA. All kinds of blacksmithing promptly and satisfactorily done. j6£-y""Shop on Market St., third door west of Empire House. [n29v8 KS. Knowlcs & Kiuiball. Would ann'unce to the people of llow ardCounty and vicinity, that they have opeend out a good assortment of Millinery Goods at CiiKsro. Millinery work and Dress Making promptly and satisfactorily attenucu to at all times. CUESCO, Dec. 5. 186(5. [n4v8tf «"iss LAlr5A WEBSTER. INSTRT MENTAL MUSIC TEACHER. Will give lessons on the Piaxc Forte or Melodeon. [n32-8 CRESCO I('WA. ^Jilllncry i & Dress Making. Mrs. J. T. DOXAlfi&IClII, Invites the special attention of the ladies of Cresco, and the surrounding country, to her extensive stock of millinery poods,which she has just been east and selected with special reference to the springand summer fashions. She anticipates, by the assis tance of Miss M. O'Connor of Chicago a tlvst class Milliner & Dress maker, together with her fi-rmer experience in the business to be able to give general satisfaction in everything pertaiuing to millinery & drevjs making. Patern bonnets, hats and mVilin ery goods, at reduced prices to mil liners. *S'nop on Elm St.. betwen the post office and brick block, Cresco Iowa. [n22v8.] April 19, 1867. Mrs. J. T. DOXAIU OII. iss EVELI?JE :«IC*QOLS, Having taken roor. S at the house of Mr. James McGregor, "would inform the ladi .f T,i:vrE SPRINGS and vicinity, that she is prepared to give prompt attention to Milinerv work, Dress inttking. Tailorcssing, Stitching or Sewing of any kind. By prompt and faithful at tention to the wants and interests of her patrons nnd friends, she hopes to merit and receive a share of their patronage. Lime Springs. April 12.1867. NEW GOODS! LOW PRICES. The subscribers would inform the ladies of Northern Towa and Southern Min nesota that they have decided to try the experiment of keeping a o o s o k o MILL1XE11Y CSOODS, Of the best styles, and to perform all work in the way of bleaching, making or re pairing bonnets, hata &c., at LE ROY MINNESOTA. In such manner and at prices to warrant satisfaction to their patrons. The ladies ore especially invited to call and examine work, goods and prices. y 1867. 25tf] JULIA P. COLE, M!SSES. J. SCHEIBE. $10 to $20 a day. "K*rE WANT AN AGENT IN EVERY County of the United States, to introduce our Patent Star Shuttle Sewing- Mstcliliic. It uses 2 threads and makes a stitch alike on both sides. I', is a first-class .Machine, and retails at from §20 to $100. Extra ordinary inducements to Agents. For further particulars address, with stamp, S. E. HENDERSON & CO., Sole AgeEts for the West & South, n34-8m3 303 N 4th St., St. Louis, Mo. STRAYED, From tho subscriber June 4th 1 so7 a red and white cow, 6 years oid, was a good milker, had a bell on. Whoever will return said cow shall be well rewarded. Aj£X MA&6UAP, JTew Oregon Bnccial ^oticcs. MA! lew Oregon Lodge Xo. ir»« of F. nnd A. M. hold their regular com munications Tuesday on or before the full .Moon of Cadi month. A'isiting brethern in good stauding arc invited to attend. M. M. MOON W. M. 33v6] WM. PATTERSON, Secty. ASOHIC. Rolid'Lodge, !Vo. 211. of F. and A. M. bold their regular com munication*1 Saturday on or before the full Moon of each month, at their Hall in Rico villc, Mitchell Co. Iowa. NATIIANIKI, V(R. MOSS, W. M. 33v8) WM. C. Jloss, Secty. J^litfilORS Off YOUT2?. A Gentleman who suffered for years from Nervous Debility, Premature Decay, ami all the effect® of youthful indiscretion, will for the Kike of suffering huns'iiity, send freeto all who need it, the recipe'and di rectioti. for making the simple remedy by which he was curt d. Sufferers wishing to jirofit by the advertiser's experien'.e, can do so by addressing, in perfect confidence, JOHN B. OGDEN, 42 Cedar Street, New York. 26-8yl KAIKlKfi. FIRST NATIONAL BANE OF DECORAIT, IOWA. $50,000, Capilul! 7 3-10 U. S. Notes and all other Govern ment Bon is I ought and gold, also County Warrants, Notes, Mortgages and other se curities.—DRAFTS on all points bought and sold.—.MONEY deposited for six moths or longer will draw six per cent in terest. Dill SECTORS- AL.OSZO ITRADISII, C. E. DICCSRMA??. Ja II. EASTOS, 8. W. MATTKSOX, C. N. GODDASO. JAS. n. E.V8TON, T. W. BURDH'TF, President. Cashier. v7n3] June 7 186(5. Empire Se"v/ixig Ma- cliine o., Principal Office 616 Broadway Mew York CWREAT 1 IMP1K)\EMEET in Sewing Machines. Empire Shuttle, Crank Motion Sewing Machine. It is thus ren dered noisless in action. Its motion bo ing all positive, it is not liable to get out of order. It is the best Family Machine! Notice is called to our new and improved Manufacturing Machine, for Tailors, and Hoot and Shoe Fitters. Agents wanted to whom a liberal discount will be given. No Consignments Made (v7n43tf AWAY WITH PPrX'TAf'I.Fg. OT.D EYR« MADE NEW, easily, without l-«-tfc or «i- liVtt Seet po«t-p il-1, i u lec.tii't nf 10 Ctliti. A ililrt n Dr. E. li. FOOT!?, No. 110 Lexington Avenue, Cor. of East. -Sth Rt., N. Y. AWAY WITH CNCOMJ'ORT \m,E TllUS-'-KS 00MF0RT AN V:L I:K VOR TnERl'PTUItED. gent post- iiid on receipt, of 1J Cents. Aflilress, t!r. E. U. FOOTE. No. 110 Lexington Avenue, Cor. of Bu.-t 2SU gt., N. Y. CON F1 HE NT IAL INK'IRMATION For the MARRIED Bent Fiirk, in sealed t*nvclop**, onreceijitof 10 Cents. A.Mrcss Dr. E. I!. FOOTE. (author cf M"dio i! Oonimuii Sense, --Book 4"(l Jiiifres. $ 1 ,".0, sent In Mail N.i. llo Lexington Ave, Cor. of Kat 2Sth st., N. Y. 'SO-'imS] ARTIFICIAL LEGS. Two LEGS in one—you can takeoff the Fool and put on a Stub. A!! in want, ml f,n- a I'aTimhiet, J. W. WATSON, PATENTEE, 70i Broadway, N. Y. -"5?' MELmEQS & ORZAi-iS MAMUFACTUEED BY JOSEPH HAZLEDINE, BRADFORD, IOWA. Every instrument warranted. WILL KEEP CONSTANTLY On HAND MEL ODE ONS & OR OANS MAXUr.VCTl ItKI) ET KINNATRD, DREHER & CO., OF CLEVELAND. OHIO. Pianos, Mclodcons and Organs, Tuned and Repaired. FAIRBANKS' STANDARD S A E S OF ALL KINDS. FAIRBANKS, GEEENLEAF & Co., 226 & 2SW Lake St., Chicago. n27v8yl] 209 Market St., St-Louis. BE OAKEFITL TO KCY ONLY THE OENUINL. FOR SALE! CHEAP for Cash, a house and two lets in the village of Cresco. The house is a story nnd a half high and commodi ously arranged for a dwelling, a fine col lection of shrubbery, and a good well on the premises. For particulars enquire, at this oflicc or of C. G. fcCHELf.ENGER, o0-*] Crwcolwa. MEAD & BROWN. TRUTH WITHOUT FEAR OR FAVOR. #1 50 PER. ANNUM (Front tho Ma lison Union.) The Secrct Sclieinc of fladi cstn^ui. To any one posted, or who posts liimsclf, in political matters, tho scheme of uegro suffrage upon the South, and the disfranchisement of the white population, ought to be apparent. The WoFtcrn State?, front Ohio to the Pacific, have 05 members of Congress and the ex cluded Southern States have the same number. Tho mortal fear of New England is, and has been, that the West and South, peopled by consumers, will not much longer stand tariff laws, which exclude c.on.potitjoii in the maikcts of the world, and give them from 50 to 200 per cent, profits from th« in dustry of the industry of tho coun try, without some equivalent re turn. As they also hold most of the bonds of the nation, and have scoured their exemption from taxa tion. placing 'hat extra burthen ou the shoulders of western and south ern farmers, they arc in great dread of some move to secure EQUALITY OF TAXATION, and hence resort to the most natural scheme to secure control of the government iu their own hands. By voting the southern negro, they expect to carry &t least 30 ad ditional members of Congress, and NULLIFY THE POWER OF THE WUST BY TIIE NEGRO OF THE SOUTH. That is the secret scheme that controls such men as Stevens and Sumner. They care nothing who represents the south so that they own him. The more ignorant, the more plastic in their hands. "When Mr. Sumner recently announced that he expect ed soon to welcome negro Senators in the U. S. Senate, it was simply to predict that the scheme would work. All that class of men seek, is more tariff, and larger exemption of capital from paying its share to support the government. The ne gro vote is their tool and bludgeon. The rejection of Mr. Greeley's plan of "universal suffrage, for univer sal amnesty," was their work. If southern whites arc allowed to vote, the interests of the West will pre dominate—and they can no longer eat our bread without paying fur it. lleuce, the new nogro power is to rule the West. as ever any tiling so sDallow, as western men allowing themselves to be completely fooled in the trick that lies under the southern darkey! Does any one cre lit that New Eng land, v.hoso slate ships originally filled the southern markets, has nothing but "God anl humanity7' "m its composition? And our CRESCO, HOWARD CO, IOWA. AUGUST 9,1867. WHOLE NO 392 west- cm congressmen—where is their evidence of intellect.' They tame ly stand by, or help rivet tho fetters up. ii the men of the West. In the interest of monopoly they coolly as sist in their own degradation. When the first negro, or the tool sent by the negro, enters Congress, the po litical power of the West is broken, and henceforth wo become mere provinces, to raise crops and earn money for eastern monopolists,— and to take such legislation as they condcsccndto give us. Absolutism of tlic majority. There arc questions at is.':ue to be decided by the votes of the peo ple in the several States that rise above re paity queitftns in or dinary times. These questions in volve tho principles 011 which our L-ystcm of government is founded, and tho popular verdict given at the State elections this summer and fall, will determine whether or not that system shall be n,aiuUin sd. One of these questions upon which tho people have to pas. judg ment, and one of momentous conse quence to tho present and future welfare of the country, is,, whether the will of the majority is absolute, or in other words, whether it i.j om nipotent and above all Constitutions aud all laws. The affirmative of this question is held by tho extreme men in the dom inant party, and is practically, if not iu theory, sanctioned by the more nio'.! .-atQ adherents of the same party. We may, there fore, say, without fear of contradic tion from any one, save a prejudiced partisan, that the ruling party or faction, known ag Republican or Radical, is wholly admitted to the doctrine of absolutism not, it is true, in one man, but in a majority. It establishes an absolute despotism and centralizes it, not in one ty rant, but in two or thi-ee hundred, whom it calls the Congress. This assertion startling as it may seem, is fully ard undeniably prov ed by the proceedings of this body styling itself the Fortieth Congress. It has, since its: organization, 011 the fourth of March last, placed one third of the Union in territorial extent and population, under the absolute domination of five milita ry commanders, and swept away ali other authority, constitutional or legal legislative, executive or ju dicial. This action of the so-called congress cannot be justified on con stitutional grounds, and is in fact admitted on all hands to bo wholly unconstitutional. Its defenders would as soon think of going to the Koran, as to ti e Federal Constitu tion for authority for what arc styled "Reconstruction acts." One of the Manning symptoms of the day, is, that theso are fouud in the Republican ranks, men, other wise intelligent aud moderate iu tiieir views, who openly declare that they regard this flagrant viola tion of the Constitution as of little couscqucncc that we are still in a state of war, or of revolution rath er, and that before tins trial of our institutions, constitutional powers and limitations of power avail less than nothing as checks and res traints upon tho ipular will. It certainly must appear to the sober and reflecting that men who talk thus, however wise and sagac ious they may be on other subjects, have laid aside their common sense in the discussion of this topic so vital to the welfare of our country for all time to come. Tho govern ment which our fathers instituted, limiting and restraining the action of the majority by a written consti tution as the supreme law is not now 011 trial. It was on trial for upward of seventy years, and the result of the experiment was most successful. It conduced to nation al prosperity and greatness far be yond the most sanguine hopes of its fouu-lers. It is, as we said, not now on trial but the attempt is now being made by the leaders of a dominant party, emboldened by suc cess, to substitute for that system of constitutional government under which our fathers lived and pros pered, a system in which the uncon trolled and unchecked will of a ma jority, or of a faction a portion of the Union that has got tho power into its hands, shall be supreme above all .constitutions and all laws, and have its edicts registered and issued by a majority in a body styled the Congress. It is impossible for any man of common prudence ami foresight not to see the learfol perils that beset our people. yriiis absolutism will never restore the Union ouce our boast a id pride. It will have the direct, contrary effect. It will des troy what yet remains of that Un ion. Our government will cease to oe one of constitution auu law, etitd bcconio into oi' faction..-* backcd by military force—of con flicting sections and States—in which anarchy, oppression and bloodshed will prevail, as in Mexico and the South American States. If our people desire to escape this dreadful alternative, they must hurl from power the party leaders that are seeking to bring it about. It must bo done now, or it will for ever be too late.—Cleveland Plain dealer. V—— A Ciood Story or stn Honest Etatcliinan. One of our exchanges has the fol lowing story I can't help it, so I will tell you the talc as 'twas told to me. It was, it is simply a tael, and tells of the mistakes of life as it 'twere. The Germans tell their troubles to me as chloroform is poured on a handkerchief to rovivc the patient. One day while standing patting the neck of "Kitty," my running mare, an honest Teuton who had seen service in the war, came up and said "Ah, mynheer McElroy, you here?" "Yaw, mynheer, Sehwipes, I here." "So-ol You busy dis morning!" "No, Jacob, I'm never buoy un less when I am busy." "Well, den, mynheer McElroy, you sluist make tie that horse loose so he can make herself piay around in it herself in tor yard a little, und I sits down 011 mine—mine—1 mean your saw horse and tells you some dings." We sat. Then said the man "Now, you see, Mr. McElroy, I no makes myself like tho way you talk about my gousius Snieksnaek cr. lie be so goot man as never he's any veres. He shust like me. He gooms to dis free country to help live here. Und ven de war gooms I shoulder my fife und mine trummel, und I goes out to get re groots. Und purty soon, binieby, ven de pig bounties get so big as a hole hog, Air. McElroy I kiss mine vrow und dakes ton hundred tollars bounty und I go to tcr war. Und I tell mine frow she no make water mit hor eyc^ for I go long mit Shen eral Shirts, and of cooise I coomts back. You see Mr. McElroy I knows who to go mit. You would go mit Siegel, but Siegel gets his back up io much, and is not care ful who he don tight mit. Und I would go mit Rutler, bnt nty share of do silver wouid bo Sherman sil ver, and dat is not so goot. So I goes mit Shirts, for he never gets hurt in any country, und I knows vere Shirtb is that it is vat you cail where you put money—safe. "Veil, I gets mine bounties sol have somcding to pay luy tax mit till I uiakca dead, then I go a& cor poral mit Shirtsund I go to tor war, and I do shust like odder fel le.is—1 sees tings—und I makes monish—and I goom home shnst as goot, as I vent away, Mr. McKIroy. Und gets velcomed back *0 goot. Mine vrow she bees so glad to sec me as never vash. Und ter folks was glad to sco 1110. I goes down to get Homo lager beer, and ven I goes home, Deacon Grer-ne is at mine house to sec inc. Und .1 goes out mit Deacon Greene, to show him home, and ven I coomes back Deacon Brown is dor to see ino und tells me he is glad I makes myself cooui back and i go to be polite to Deacon Drown und to show him homo, und when i goom back, 1 find der bostniaster af mine house to see me. Und goes to be polite to to the postmaster man. und when I. gets back, der is der dax collector o sec me, und I asks him how much 1 must pay him, und he says. 'Oh, nothing, Jacob—seein' its you!' So goes to see him home, und den makes myself goom home to sleep, so nicc as never vash. "Unci cve'-y night when I gomes homo I vind some of dose goot pat riotic men who have done so much for their country, at my house to see nie.# Und, Mr. Me El rev, one night von I goes homo I hears noise uiino bed-room. Und 1 golls for mine vrow und she 110 hear me, so I go in and finds her a&hleep. Und I vinds a nico pair of boots i:i tor bed-room, shust worn so much as doy will not hurt my feet, und I makes my head go under der win dow to see what makes noise, und I sees one of tho patriots who geops the gopperheads away from mine vrow vile I be gov.o from tor war, chasing a horso into ter woods. Oh Mr. McElroy, tell you 'tis nico to go to b& a soldier man, und to goom homo und find such goot friends among such ^oot men, and to have such men give 1110 nice PITCH PHILOPI'.SES!" Tho telegraph cable between the Florida coast aud the Island of Cu ba, will bo laid and ready for bus iness iu about a week. Telegraph connection is already complete be tween New York and Key West, Florida, and it is the intention of tho company to extend this line from (biloi thrimgli 11»«.» VVoet In dies and thence to the African coast, and into Asm aim urope. Another company is also preparing to connect South America with the cablc at Cuba. All parts of the world will before anotbor year bo united by telegraph. The IlccoHKti-isclioii Act. Chief Justiee'Chase, in his New born speech, gave as an excuse why he had not previously held the Cir cuit Court iu his circuit, that he could not consistently with his ideas of judicial dignity, hold court in any State where military tribunals were superior to the civil authorities. The '.Hli section of the reconstruc tion act passed a few days since, is as follows Sue. 0. That no district commander or member ol" the Board of Registration, or any otticer-1 or ap]n'inties acting under them, shall be bound in his action by any opinion of any civil officer of the United States. As long, therefore, as this -act is in foi'ee, Judge Chase, or any other United States Judge holding the same opinions of the dignity of his offico, cannot hold court in any of the States affected by this act..— Judge Chase dare not preside at the trial of Jeff. Davis and in October next, when Davis appears under his recognizance and demands a trial. Mr Chase will throw himself n his judicial dignity again, and Davis will be under the necessity of call ing on his Radical friends to renew his boudj. A Glorious (.iiiiie-Xotnilh fetumijH#. Tho following colloquy did not occur iu Elmira, but might have happened here just as easy! It is between an enthusiastic! admirer and player of the game base bail, and a gentlemen who bad so much regard for his personal comfort a.s to refrain from bat, ball, and base oxcreise: "What is tho matter with your finger'.'" "Struck with a ball aud drove up, but it is a noble game," was the reply. "Precisely—and your thumb is useless, is it not "Yes struck with a ball and bro ken." "That finger joint?" "A ball struck it. No better game to improve a man's physical condition strengthen one's sinews." "You walk lame that foot, isn't it?" No. It's the—fhc—the—well, a bat flew out of a placer's hand and hit my knee pan. lie had the innings.'* "One of your front teeth is gone?" "Knocked out by u ball an acci dent." "Your right hand and nose have been peeled—how's that?" "Slipped down at second bas— only a mere scratch." "And you like this kind of fun?" "Glory in it sir. It is the health iest game in tho world, sir." A young lady was being nsla-d by a boring politician which party she was in favor of, replied that slicpre forrcd a wedding-party. Speaking of cheap thin®?—it but a trifle to get a%ifo, Zl doesn't she sometimes turn out a "little dear." To remove stains from the char acter—get rich. Ilomncpathy. r.ike i! little wife. Tho pretiier the better: I'. her cheek, nnd when She wants to kiss you—let her. Ki -p her in Hie house— rhoi-e she II cook your Juuttofe I'.irn year j-i.-ket too. If she's worth a button. Ni-ver mind the lots Of her mints and cousins. Ask them to "drop in Diue fliein a If by dozens. One of thesi- odd days, You'll feci full one inch taller When yon see IIT hug 1 1 A chopping little squall The Self-Examination Society has propounded the folio win .- queries about his financial period to every body Does it cost anything to print newspaper'/ Tlow long can a printer afford to print a newspaper without pay? Do printors eat, drink and metar anything? If so how do thoy get. it? Do I owe for my paper? Is not this particular^ time a .ftrrrt— rate time to eul' and pay up? The Republican leaders are pack ing a Southern registry, excluding nearly all the whites and register ing all the negroes, and then through their Committee, ask for §100,00'* to carry the election Having packed the jury thoy now want to be paid for tho verdict.—TJtica Observ er. o«- A San Frineisco editor says th«t when he thinks of Irelands tfoee his heart goes "pity Pat." An Irish editor, in speaking of the miseries of Irehrtid, says: "Her cup oi misery has been for ngss overflowing, and it not jet fufl. A11 Irishman, illustrating'thohor rors of solitary confinement, stated that out if 0110 hundred juireons «en touoed to endure this punishment for life, only fifteen survived it. During the trial of a -c-uit in a Western court., counsel took excep tions to the ruling 011 a certain point, and a dispute arose. '"•If tho Court please, I wish to refer to this book a moment,' said the counsel, pick ing up a large volume. '"'here's no use in your picking up any books," exclaimed the judge, angrilv, "I have decided this point." know that was the rejoinder, I am satis tied ot that, but tliie is a volume of Dlackstone—I'm certain he differ* i r« show you what a d—d old fool Blackstono was!" Ah! that in deed exclaimed the court smiling all over, "you begin now to talk." The rage for divorces is so strong in Chicago that a negro sued for a separation frrtai a woman with whom lie lived, but'to whom bo had never been married. Dan RicE, tho other evening in his circus, said that lie was not going to dufilo the fair record of seventy-five years as a respcetabb showman by becoming a member of Congress. A little boy seeing a nan pros 11 at 0 before the door of a groggery, opened the door and said to the pro prietor: "Sec here sir, your sign has fallen down!" "Young man, do yon believe in a future state?" "Ju oourse I duz anil what's moro, 1 intend to enter it as quick as Betsy gets tho thing* ready." "Pa, I know why that old fash ioned pistol of your'n fliat grandpa fit with in tho revolution, is called a horse pistol'?" "Why, my BOD?" "lJecause it kicks so." A Western paper tluis hits off a popular but disgusting fashion The attention of tho police should be directed to Pa.it A. Loon, lie's tight ou the atrccU daily—awful tight. A drunken fellow sitting on the steps of a church in Ronton, tho cold wind blowing chillingly around the corner, exclaimed: "Ifhravcn (hie) tempers the wind to tho shorn lamb, 1 wish the lunib (hie) was on this corner." A dying West India plantar groaned out to his favorite negro servant: "Ah, Sambo, I'm going on a very long journey." "Nover uiind, m.assa," said the negro con solingly, "him all down hill." Why is a man ascending Vesuvi us like an Irishman trying to kiss a pretty girl? lieeautso he wants to got at tho crater's mouth. Tho man that forgets a good deal that has happennd, has a bettor memory than he who remembers a good deal that never liappeuod, Emerson, finely says "The poor are ouly they who feel poor, and poverty consists only of feeliug poor. A clerical gentleman observes that dancing has a tendency to "shrivel up a man's dignity, and reduce society to a nonentity." It als 1 fi'eots shirk collars la weather.