The daily Gate City. [volume], December 13, 1909, Image 2

About The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Iowa

                
PAGE TWO
WorA by HARRY WILLIAMS
Tempo Valse.
TILL VOICE.
or sea,....
up there,
there we will hap
mo tor tag is
"dare,"
pray.
luBwl
according
SETTLED THE
POLE CONTROVERSY
Famous Grldion Club of Washington
Hold an Inquiry and Decide
That the North Pole Has
Not Been Found.
EXPLORERS IMPOSTERS
La Follette Haa Discovered the Most
Wicked and the Most Perfect
Men in All of Ameri
ca,
WASHINGTON, Dec. 13.—The
North Pole problem has been solved.
The Cook-Peary controversy vas
settled tonight—in favor of neither.
After a thorough investigation by a
committee of alleged distinguished
scientists, the Qrldiron Club (Wash
ington's famous organization of news
paper correspondents), in the pres
ence of the president and vice presi
dent of the United States, Speaker
Cannon, several members of the cab
inet, and some two hundred other
notable guests, refused to give either
purported discoverer the credit ot
reaching the goal of the ages, and ar
rived at a somewhat unexpected con
clusion as to the real discoverer.
The occasion was the annual fall
Remedies are Needed
Were we perfect, which we are not, medicines would
isfiWot often be needed. But since our systems have be
come weakened, impaired and broken down through,
indisoretions which have gone on from the early ages,'.'"/'J
through countless generations, remedies are needed to'.
•aid Nature in correcting our inherited and otherwise
•acquired weaknesses. To reach the seat of stomach
weakness and consequent digestive troubles, there is
nothing so good as Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov
fTi glycerio compound, extracted from native medic*
'Kw1' t°cU~80'
over
Signature
WE TWO IN AN AEROPLANE
Featured by
ANNA HELD
In Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.'s production.
"MISS INNOCENCE"
1. Come take
2. There is
fw
If I get you "up in ithe air,"
For, dear, in a near fu ture day,
Copyright, MCMVJII, by JEROME H. REMICK & Co.
Successors to the Whitney Warner Publishing Co., Detroit and New York
to Act of the Pariimeat of Canada in the year
MCMVIII,
dinner of the Club. Early In the
proceedings the announcement wa?
made that In response to the invita
tion of the club a committee of dis
tinguished scientists had consented to
arbitrate the differences between the
two explorers. Escorted into the ban
quet hall, at the New Willard, the
members ot this tribunal were in
troduced as Prof. Henry Gannett, of
the Geological Survey Prof. O. H.
Tittmann, of the Coast and Geodetic
Survey Rear Admiral Colby M. Ches
ter, United States navy, and Dr. Torp,
rector of the University of Copenhag
en.
Cook and Peary were then sum
moned to present their proofs. Attir
ed in full arctic regalia, including
luxuriant growths of whiskers, snow
goggles and bear skin boots, and drag,
glng sleds loaded with gumdrops and
rtcords, two men presented them
selves, and were subjected to a search
ing inquisition. Following Is a report
of a portion of the testimony.
"How far was it. Dr. Cook, to the
pole from where you left the land?"
"About as far as President Taft
fevnd it from the Insurgent wigwam
to the standpat igloo."
"Can you discover what is the mat
ter with Collector Loeb at New Yorit?'
"My notes of observation indicate
excessive modesty. He spends too
much time trying to keep out of the
newspapers."
"Mr. Peary, do you think you could
discover the wickedest man in Amer
ica?"
"He has already been discovered
by Senator LaFollette."
"What is his name?" $ s|J
"Uncle Joe."
"Well, then, could you discover the
wan in the country who most nearly
approaches perfection?"
"LaFollette has discovered him,
too
forty years with great satisfaction to all users. For
.J, Stomach, Biliousness, Liver Complaint, Pain in the Stomach after eating,
^Heartburn, Bad Breath, Belching of food, Chronio Diarrhea and other Intestinal
-"'Derangements, the "Discovery" is a time-proven and most efficient remedy, igpi
The genuine has on Its
outside wrapper the
You oan|t afford to accept a secret nostrum as a substitute for this non-alco
holic, medicioe
or
KNOWN COMPOSITION, not even though the urgent dealer may
thereby make a little bigger profit.
®r*. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and invigorate stomach, liver and
Bowels, ougar-ooated, tiny granules, easy to take as oandy.
-y
Music by EGBERT Van ALSTYNE
sky a way
a cop to hoi
'Vv
well fly, And
ler, "Stop!" While
Ton would not stand
Come with me now,
by Jerome H. Remick & Co., in the Department of
Published bv MUfcRAY MUSIC Co., Hew York. Used by permission Jfo,
A1 though you may
The great thor-ough*
Agricolton
88.
"What is his name?"
"LaFollette."
"Doctor, did you see the aurora
borealia up there?"
"YeB many times."
"What did it look like?"
"Just like the halo President Taft
in his Boston speech put on Senator
Aldrlch."
"Mr. Peary, did you see anything
up there that resembled the halo
President Taft put on Speaker Can
non?"'
"Yes the midnight sun—without
the sun."
The examination of the two alleged
explorers was here interrupted by the
receipt of a cablegram dated "Kapiti
Hills, South Africa," which read:
"Chairman Board of Arbitration,
care Gridiron Club, V. ashington, D.
C.—Your assumption of authority is a
gross, impudent and unwarranted
usurpation.
I
shall settle this case
myself.
(Signed) "BWANA TUMBO."
Undeterred by the interruption, the
ccurt continued its work. Asked
whether he could discover a means of
convincing Gifford Pinchot that Theo
dore Roosevelt is not now President
of the United States, Dr. Cook re
plied:
"I fear not. President Taft and
Secretary Ballinger have both tried
it."
He also disclaimed any ability to
discover a minister to China, express
ing the opinion that no man lives
whose whiskers could please Secre
tary Knox.
One of the members of the Club, at
this point, having raised a question
as to the identity of the two alleged
explorers, the services of the Gridiron
barber were enlisted. Upon being
digested of their hirsute attachments,
it was discovered that the men were
irrposters, but as nothing had devel
oped in the testimony to show that
they had not found the pole, the Club
decided to make them members of the
oiganization and thereafter claim for
it&elf the honor of the great achieve
ment of the century. The new Grid
Iron ers were then introduced as Ira
E. Bennett, editor of the Washington
Post, and Ed. L. Keen, manager of the
Washington Bureau of the United
Press.
In order to provide appropriate
dishes for guests with particular ap
petites, the Club utilized the talents
ot a restauranteur and chef who had
come down from Nome to get pointers
for entertaining President Taft when
he visits Alaska next summer. Sec
retary Kriox asked for a large hot
bird, and the chef promptly served up
Crane.
When Speaker Cannon said he
v/anted something that would remind
him of Victor Murdock, the restaurant
man bawled out to the chef: "One red
headed duck, and let tho blood drip!"
Deviled lobster with the clav/jj re­
THE DAILY GATE CITY
CHORUS.
fen
55?—1-
O
t=
moved, was the order of Attorney Gen
eral Wickersham. "One buster trust,"
shouted the boss of Nome restaur
ant. "Oh, sugar," retorted the chef.
Captain Butt, President Taft's mil
itary aid, thought he'd like to have a
dish of hash with red peppers and
tabasco sauce. "One order of Roose
velt policies," was the direction to the
caef. When Secretary Wilson put in
a plea for scrambled eggs, the order
wab passed to the kitchen, was "Bal
hnRer-Pinchot for one."
During the dinner a number of
messages were received by members
of the Club from various managing
editors who apparently were not aware
ti at their correspondents were tem
porarily "off the job."
"Interview Taft at onoe," said one,
"whether he isn't going to start
something. If not, why not? Wash
ington stuff too tame. Must reduce
expenses Washington bureau unless
ycu can keep up to mark of last
seven years."
Another read: "Interview Taft,
Ballinger, Hitchcock and Chief Jus
tice Fuller on Roosevelt conspiracy.
Get signed statements from Taft and
Fuller. Hurry flashlight photographs
of. conspirators' meeting.**
One of the more strenuous stunts
of the evening was a prize fight in
which the participants, as announced
by the Club's sporting editor, were:
"Battling Nelson Aldrlch, the Rhode
Wand terror, who has put the wallop
o^er on every mut he'r, ever gone up
apainst Kid Cummins, the Iowa De­|held
mon, fresh from the cornfields, out for
a reputation Achilles Ballinger, the
S!wash Slrrocco, Bully Boy of the
.Maska Coal Fields Glff Pinchot, the
I Fighting Lumber Jack, who fears no
fee—not even the constitution, and
Joe Cannon, the Danvil'e bantam.
I fresh from his finish fight with the
W. C. T. U. Ready to take in all
corners."
Among the articles removed from
tl'p gloves of the fighters by the Club's
referee, after they entered the ring,
were: A piece of steel from A'drlch,
an axe from Pinchot (apparently in
tfrded for Ballinger), poker chips'
from Cannon, a lump of coal from
Ballinger. After a furious mix-up of
about two minutes, there was a gen
eral scramble to get out of the ring,
Cannon being the last to limp away
The contest was declared a draw.
Parodies on the popular songs of
the day, of which the following was a
I fair sample, were sprinkled through
the dinner:
Now Roosevelt once was president,
O yes. he was
But Mister Taft now runs the Job,
O yes. he does
Uoosevelt now has gone a-huntiqg
Shooting with his might and main
So the politicians sing
This musical refrain
We love, we love, we. love Roosevelt,
pout, We would not "fall out," You'd not "throw me down,"
Ef
fare, To spoon, I de cl&re» Will BOOB be- the milk way...•'-,-
W
%'f-
CB 4
1srr-
Though we are sot "on the lev el," We'll not com plain
m~
jzrr.
We Two in an Aeroplane.
j.
gj
=t
-5P—r-
will live high, you and I, In my aer plane plane...
ii^.
But Oh you Taft!
He's gone away to Af-ri-ca,
But Oh you Taft!
He said he would come back again
And thereupon we laughed
We love, we love, we love Roosevelt,
But Oh you Taft!
Among the specially invited out of
town guests at the dinner were the
rfal Dr. Frederick A. Cook, of Brook
lyn David Belasco, August Belmont,
Theodore P. Shonts, Daniel J. Sully,
Governor Harmon, of Ohio Ex-Gover
nor Francis, of Miesouri John Hays
Hammond, Truman H. Newberry, and
Milton A. McRae, of Detroit.
There is more Catarrh in this section
of the country than all other diseases
put together, and until the last few
years was supposed to be Incurable. For
a great many years doctors pronounced
It a local utsease and prescribed local rem
edies, and by constantly falling to cure
with local treatment, pronounced it In
curable. Science has proven catarrh to
be a constitutional disease and therefore
requires constitutional treatment. Hail's
Catarrh' Cure, manufactured by F. J.
Cheney & Co.. Toledo, Ohio, Is the only
constitutional cure on the market. It is
taken lntemaly in doses from 10 drops
to a teaspoonful. Xt acts directly on
the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. They oiler one hundred dollars
for any case it falls to cure. Send for
circulars and testimonials.
Address: F. J. CHENEY & CO.,
Toledo, Ohio.
Sold by Druggists, 76c.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipa
tion.
Australia's Waste Land.
Universal experience has proved
that no country can progress or be
safe from invasion where popula
tion is sparse and the lands are not
utilized. Our future prosperity is vi
tally dependent on the sort of use to
which we put our lands.—Age, Mel
bourne.
is a wonderful food-medicine
for all ages of mankind. It
will make the delicate, sickly
baby strong and well—will
give the pale anemic girl rosy
cheeks and rich, red blood. It
will put flesh on the bones of
the tired, overworked, thin
man, and will keep the aged
man or woman in condition
to resist colds or pneumonia
in the winter.
FO& 8&LE BY ALL D9UG0IB1S V".
Send 10c., name "of paper 'and thlk ad. for oar
beautiful Baring* Bank and
Each
,f
3
Come, dear, with me, where I'll hold you the world a bove
1
Ho bod by us, To gos sip and "guy" us, We'll live on love,..
Ohlld'n
Sketoh-Book.
bank contains •,Quod, Luck,Puna?.,
SCOTT St BOWNE, 4Qg «urj.
swear,
Z.TT.
r*
5
49-*-
ESS!
JO —M
•No.
88.
Notice of Incorporation.
Notice is hereby given that the un
dersigned have organized themselves
into a body corporate, under and by
virtue of the laws of Iowa.
The name of this corporation is the
Tri-State Auto and Machine Company,
and its principal place of business
Keokuk, Iowa.
The general nature of business to
be transacted, shall be a general man
ufacturing and repair business and
the-buying, selling, repairing or deal
ing on commission in automobiles or
the supplies thereof, or ony other busi
ness connected directly or indirectly
with manufacturing novelties.
The amount of capital stock author
ized is ten thousand dollars but busi
ness may be commenced when thirty
five hundred dollars is paid in, all
stock shall be paid for in cash when
subscribed.
This corporation commenced busi
ness with the approval and recording
of the articles of incorporation, and
shall continue for a period of twenty
years.
The affairs of this corporation shall
be conducted by a board of four di
rectors ,and may be increased to five,
and shall be elected annually on the
first Monday in January each year.
The highest amount of indebtedness
to which thiB corporation can subject
itself is two-thirds of the capital stock
paid in.
The private property of the stock
holders shall be exempt from corpor
ate debts.
R. B. MEEK
'.feV J. T. ERICKSON
A. E. ERICKSON
E. A. LARSON.
Tax Sale Notice-
To Jas. C. Ramsey and John W.
Brinman.
You are hereby notified that on the
twenty-sixth day of November, J906,
rear 10 tt. of frt, 90 ft. of W. 8 of
lot 1, block 107, Keokuk, Lee county,
Iowa, was sold to A. L. Parsons for
delinquent city taxes that I am the
lawful holder and owner of the cer
tificate of purchase thereof and that
the right of redemption will expire
and. a deed for eaid real estate be
made, unless redemption from such
sale be made within ninety days from
the completed service Hereof.
NELLIE VAN VUCHT.
Charm of Paris Society.
The charm of society life in Paris liec
in its great diversity. We love even
its painful dutieB. We attend with
equal eagerness—I had almost'said
equal satisfaction-^ state funeral or
a first presentation. This, is a form of
worldly ^politeness in its higher sense.
—Ladies' Field.
v/'-v:!
I
1
Spxxr:
I*1!,' 7"n't beat biscuits made
uoid -Medal Flour,—no sah."
MONDAY, DEC. 13,1909.
Mouter*
No. 2, daily, leaves at ... J.««
No. 4, dally except Sunday"
leaves at .»
No. 76, daily except Sunday
AXKX,'
58
8111
Freight, leaves at ,[
8.,
v, Arrive.
No. 77, daily except Sunday.
Freight, arrives
No. 15, dally except Sunday,
arrives «...
No. 3, dally, arrives .11:05^
NOB. 76 and- 77 carry passenger^
Toledo, Peoria and Western Rali^
xTraln 4—Leaves ...\. B-KA
*Sra r~frr!VeB 12:05pa
•Train 6—Arrives .... 8:2
xTrain 9—Arrives IQ:3
xDaily.
•Daily except Sunday.
C., B. & Q. Railway Co,
Trains leave from Union Denot
Berths and tickets, Fifth and Joh*
son streets.
8outh Bound.f:
—No. 8, St Louis and south
leave ........ 12:45am
—No. 12, St. Louis and Kan
ass City and west, south,
leftve ««...»•• 8i40uu
-i.o. 4, Quincy, Hannibal &
St. Louis, arrive 1:15 p. a,
leave 1:20pm
•No. 10, Quincy and Hanni
bal, arrive 8:30 pm
No. 10 leave .. 8:40 pm
.• North Bound.
—No. 7, Chicago, St. Paul and
points west, leave 2:36am
—No. 18, Chicago, 8t Paul
and points weal, arrive ..., 7.20po
—No. 18, leave 7:20pn
•No. 3, Burlington, Chicago
and east, leave 1:65pa
—No. 1. Burlington, leave ... 7:35cm
•No. 61, Donnellson, C., ft
K. 0., & and North Road
leave ......... 3:30pis
•No. 60, from Donnellson, 0,
B. & K. C., & I.orti Road
arrive .......... .11:30&m
•No. 1, K. ft W., west, leave 8:65 am
—No. 4, from Centervllle and
points intermediate, arrive 1:15 pn
•No. 2, from Centervllle and
west, arrive 9:10 pa
No. 3, Centervllle, leave .. 9:10 pm
—Daily.
•Daily except Sunday.
•Train 478—Leaves Keokuk .'8:06 am
•Train 741—Leaves Keokuk 3:65 pm
•Train 472—Arrives Keokuk 8:15 pm
•Train 470—Arrives Keokuk 1:05 pm
Looal Freight Trains.
•Train 86—Arrives Keokuk 10:15 am
•Train 85—Leaves Keokuk .11:20 am
K. A W. 1. ELECTRIC CO.
East.
Leave Leave Arrive
Keokuk. Hamilton Jc. "Warsaw.
7:10 am 7:25 am 7:46 am
8:46am 9:00am S:16am
10:15 am 10:80 am 10:60am
12:05 pm 12:25 pm 12:46 pm
2:20pm 2:45pm 3:00 pm
4:00 pm 4:15 pm 4:30pm
6:10 pm 6:25 pm :46 pm
7:45pm '8:00pm 8:20pm
9:30pm 9:45pm 16:00 pm
10:45 pm 11:00 pm 11:15 pm
West.
Leave Leave
Warsaw Hamilton Jo.
*6:40 am
7:45 am 8:05 am
9:20 am 9:40 am
11:00 am 11:25am
12:46 pm 1:05 pm
3:10 pm 3:30 pm
4:30 pn 4:60 pm
6:45 pm 7:06 P™
8:45 pm 9:05 pm
10:05 pm 10:26 pm
11:20 pm 11:40 pm
Note—'Daily except
others trains dally.
Arrive
Keokuk
•6:50 am
8:20
am
9:56 am
11:40 am
1:20
pm
3:46 pm
5:05 pm
7:20 pm
9:20 pm
10:40 pm
11:65 pm
Sunday. All
FREDONIA «wn
UH-&S3S street, N.W.
WASHINGTON, D* C.
HWILFLM S*
JSjHLiSLSLSL
Ewop«nPls*
klfct Cater •lEvcrytttfl
Wsstile LttftittiX a**
liiiniinents.
BsslsliRs«s» ToafiM
CoaunmUl Tnnreiem
SEND FOR BOOKLET
Wa. W. Dannehowv
Gout Defined.
"What is gout?" asks a correspond
ent. Well, it is an infliction if inher
ited, but Is often a source of pr'de
when acquire^ St. Paul Pioneer
Press.-