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OTJIt ULSTER'S GO\E. Our ulster's gonethe good old coat! We ne'er shall see it more We used to wear it rain or bhine, All buttoned up before. Last spring -we bhoved it up the spout, And now we cannot get it out. All vainly we implore Old Uncle Mopes' bitter smile Stirs up the fountainb of the bile, And yet we shiver all the while, And linger at his door. But that ulster from that spout That lies back of Moses' door, Shall be gathered proudly out Shall be lifted nevermore! Atlantic Monthly. MARRIAGE IN OLD AGE. XVl'TIALS J'KRTINKKT TO THE LOItl) CASE. Sophocles ami His Wicked Sons' Chargr that lie was InsaneThe Father and Mother of the Karl of Leicester A Timely Heir. To THK EDITOK OF THE N. Y. SUN.Per mit me to transfer your million readers to a wrene that occurred more than 200 years ago, and yet is as fresh in the classic mind a* a theme of yesterday, and carries with it a suggestion upon an event of the present lime. The scene was in ancient Athens, when the victories of Marathon, Salamis, and Flataea had already made the city of Miner va immortal: when the warrior-poet Soph ocles, the companion ot Pericles, and his tragedies eclipsed thobe of his master E&- chylus. Sophocles had reached the age of nearly ninety years, laurelled with undying fame, and one of the wealthiest citizens of Athens, from the public success of his dramatic works, and his many mental prizes in the the Olympian contests. He had two sons, who, envious of their father's wealth and estates, sought to obtain possession of them before the death' of their lather. There was only one way legally and that was, if the accusations were true, to publicly accuse their aged parent of insanity, and have it proved in open court. The sons made the charge the father was duly cited to appear and defend, by counsel or other wise, before the high and final tribunal of Areopagus. The day of trial arrived, jet no counsel appeared, as subsequently upon the trial of Phryne. The sixty silver-bearded judges were seated in the semicircle, the altar fire before them, to swear witnesses, that their evidence should be as pure as the celestial fire from Jupiter. The sons gave their testimony, rather to natural incidents of old age than to any de mentation of the lather yet no counsel ap peared for the defense, and the judges were about to pronounce judgment against the parent by default, and by a decree to trans fer the estates to the impatient sons, when, sudden as a flash of light fioni day-crowned \pollo, appeared before the wondering tri bunal the silver-beaided Sophocles! The judges arose to receive him. He took no notice of his ungrateful sons, but at once took the altar stand, and was sworn as a wit ness in his own behalf, and like St. Paul in aftertime, and on that very spot, pleaded the cause of immortal truth. Sophocles would not condescend to deny the accusation of his sons but, taking from the fold of his classic garment an original manuscript, which he had written and com posed during the two previous years, while his sons were falsely denouncing his insan ity, he oratorically read aloud (for the poets of Athens were also tragedians) his original tragedy of "CEdipus in Coloims,*' which we now possess. Upon its termination all the judges arose, and by acclamation ac quitted him of the charge of insanity, and thereupon sentenced the sons to death for filial impiety. Then the poet ceased, and the father pleaded for the life of his sons. For the sake of Sophocles, and at his intercession, the sentence of death was commuted to life exile, and non-inheritance of the parent's property after his death: and the judges gave him legal power to adopt new heirs, as if new born children to his name and hoiiois. In chapter 1 of the "Fhafc Book of the Kings" we read ''Now King David was old and stricken in yeais, and they covered him with clothes, but he got no heat."' Then fol lows the statement, and, of course, advice, that "a fair damsel was sought for the King, and she cherished him,*' and thereupon he lived years afterwards. Are there not sensi ble men as well as King David, who have fol lowed his sanitary example, and lived many additional years? And why not a Lord of the present day, as those of past time'' Again, the King of Isiael was rejuvenated, and why not those of lesser dignity? When a widower is resolved to roam again in the garden of matrimony, would he not be fool ish to select a withered flower for his bosom, when he could have for his own one of sweetness and blossomed, and not dead nor dying? It proves his sanity, and not insan ity. Madame Hicks is the very blossomed flower that any sensible gentleman of taste would be proud to possess and those who rail against it are perhaps those fops who, in New York, Paris and London, failed to se cure a party invitation, a flash from her bright eyes, or a smile from her ruby lips. Ah the old story revived of the fox and the too high hanging fruit "Pooh! I do not care to taste it, because the grapes are sour!" That is, the fox, with all his cunning, could not reach them. When Madam Hicks, of Welsh blood, clever and ambitious, was in London and Paris, the bright star of American beauty and widowhood, followed by many admirers, and thecompanion dn voyage of the Duchess of St. Albans. I then made a prediction, which is now fulfilled, that she would marry a Lord. My prophecy is now nuptially accomp lished. It has been asked, as in contempt, can this new husband and wife expect to have any heir from this marriage? Apart from the Scriptural records of such matters, and affirmatively, there are many memorable ex amples in history as if Providence decreed to baffle and punish malignant and ungrateful designers against justice. King Louis XIII., under the influence of 'Cardinal Kichelieu. had not maritally seen his Queen Anne 01 Austria, for twenty-one years Chertaken by a storm, and following a promise of atone ment made by Mile. Lafayette of that day, the King remained one night at the palace of the Louvre, and personally presented his respects to the Queen. Hesult: From that interview was born the Grand Mmiarque, King Louis XIV., who reigned nearly sixty ears over the Kingdom of France. The most memorable caseon record which bears directly, as to probabilities, upon the subject matter in review, is that of the cele brated Thomas Hoik of Holkham Hall, Eng land. Mount Hecla is covered with snow but the fixes within are equally well known. Thomas Hoik, Esq., was a renowned English farmer had large estates and great personal wealth, was a member of parliament, and was regarded by ail England as the prince of farmers. He was as good and benevolent as he was was rich and respected. He was dis tantly related to the Dudley family and if the title of the Earl of Leicester should be revived by royal command he would be the heir to that once great name and the title of the period of Quceen Elizabeth, Her gracious Majesty, Victoria I., regarding his excellent character and qualifications for the honor, deemed it her duty, as well as an act of the public approbation, to revive the title, and in his behalf, consequently, he was cre ated by the Queen the Earl of Leicester, and he took his seat in the house of Peers amid great respect and ceremony. The new Earl, however, was a childless widower, and about 80 years of age. The inheritor of the title, after his death, would be his nephew, who had depended for support and education entirely upon his rich relative, and knowing that, ap parently, he must inherit the title and es tates, had become indifferent and dissipated. Lord Leicester thought to check this beha vior by his nephew's marrying, and thus per petuating the title. His lordship sought an especial interview with him upon that sub ject matter, and, as it is dramatic, I will give the dialogue: EarlMy dear nephew, I have sought this interview for an especial object, very near to my heart, and I hope you will consent to my solemn request. NephewWhy, "pon honor, my dear uncle, I never knew you so serious. I shall be hap py to oblige you if I do not disoblige myself. Proceed EarlListen attentively. I am now nearly eighty years of age have been honored by her gracious majesty with the revived title of the Earl of Leicester, but at my advanced age of four score I look to you, my dear nephew, not only to inherit my title, but also my large property. I am ambitious that the title shall exist after my .ife and even your own. Therefore, I request that you marry, and without loss of time. NephewGood gracious! I marry at present? Certainly not. What would they say at the clubs? EarlI do not command, like Sir Anthony Absolute in the comedy but I request, nay, entreat you to leave dissipation and marry, and become worthy of the great honor and estates that await you upon my death, which event, from my great age, cannot be far off in the course of nature. NephewI am sorry, *pon honor but I must refuse your request. Besides, I have seen no lady yet for that distinguished honor. EarlThere is the excellent daughter of a widow whose husband was my friend. Since his death I have protected them from the ills of poverty Tbey live on one of my estates, as if their own. The daughter is beautiful, young, good mannered and well educated, of good form and features, healthy and affectionate, and her filial piety equals all. That is the lady I desife you to marry, and she is worthy ot being the Countess of Leicester. NephewI certainly shall not marry her. No! no! "Pou honor, when I many, it will be in a higher circle of society. There is one thing certain: you cannot deprive me of your title and estates, for I am the only male heir. Earl1 did not expect this result from you. nephew, when I have always been as a father to you. I am grieved almost to tears. NephewWell, you need not be so sorrow ful. If \ou are so anxious for this young la dy to be mairied into our family, egad why don't you marry her yourself? I am sure you are old enough. Earl (rising, in anger)Many a true word is spoken in jest, and, since you, ungrateful nephew, will not follow my advice as to this marriage, your advice to me shall not be thrown away. I shall not be "at home" un til this day fortnight. So you may go to your clubs, and when you return, expect to hear some news. Exount Earl and nephew. Immediately after the departure of the nephew, the Earl of Leicester drove through his park to the humble residence of the wid ow and daughter, and as usual they both embraced him, and listened to his remarks with amazement. EarlNow sit down, both of you. 1 have resolved to marry I am eighty years of age, and therefore I have no time to lose. I come, madame. to propose for your good daughterfor myself, and not for my un grateful nephew. I give you twenty-four hours for deliberation. I shall be here to morrow at this hour. If accepted, we shall be married by my chaplain, and in the pres ence of a dozen neighbors as witnesses, and within ten days from the present time. No wordno argument. I hope to be enabled to introduce my nephew to youyou, as Countess of Leicester." On the morrow his Lordship was accepted. The marriage was duly solemnized, and in a few days thereafter, ignorant of the marriage came the laughing nephew. "Well, dear uncle," he said sarcastically, *'I suppose, of course, you followed my advice as to the marriage, since I would not follow yours, eh, uncle?" EarlYou shall see (touching a bell, and the new bride came into the library.) Nephew, I introduce you to my wife, the Countess of Leicester. Your ladyship can now retire. NephewWell, 'pon honor. But uncle, do you expect to have an heir by this mar riage, and you eighty years of age? EarlThe decree of heaven is often a punishment for ingratitude? This mansion is no longer a home for you (Exit nephew.) To the amazement of all England, before a year expired from the day of the marriage, a son was born from these nuptials, and he is now the Earl of Leicester GKOBGK, THE COUNT JOANNES, Of the New York Supreme Court. FEMININE. pa- Ex-Queen Isabella is writing for the pers. Nillson grows stingy as she grows rich. Mr. Lord's family regards his marriage in the light of a shrew-ed speculation, Mr. Lord has gone off. Evidently his fam ily didn't know he was loaded. Bertha Von Hillern can't get up an appe tite unless she walks a hundred miles or so. American women will have their depart ment at the Paris exposition, Prof. Blakie thinks a woman can learn to talk Greek in four months by keeping her mouth shut. Miss Weatherhog, of Quebec, has got rid of her name, resulting in a change of weath er and a fall of pork. Mrs-. Knight, one of the Worrell sisters, had her ribs tickled at Syracuse, and a knock down, by George, was the consequence. No girl, no matter how much she loves a young man, can entirely forgive the size of his feet after they have trodden upon her train. A Kansas woman has reached the age of 130 years, and it is a pitiable sight to see her 100-year-old son sit the corner and wrig gle, wljile he sobs. "Ma, kin I go out?" An over-modest young lady up town de clined an invitation to a soiree at a friend's the other evening, on the ground that she was engaged to go with her ma to one of the Dmrosch concerts. A red-haired lady, who was ambitious of literary distinction, found but a poor sale for her book. A gentleman in speaking of her disappointment, said: "Her hair is red if her book is not." An auditor in attempting to narrate the joke elsewhere, said "She has red hair if her book hasn't." IXTiriPATfflX ^trs^^t'K.'msi^m Slanting across the fields of snow, r The westering sun makes haste to go This day, I know, is tried and sweet, To-morrow tries my lagging leet. With many a pause of happy rest I've jonrneyed with To-day, my guest His stranger brother cannot be, Methinks, as goodly company Holding in his mysterious hand Gifts that "'ill bless or blight my land! Tarry yet longer.Jair To-day, That boding step an hour delay. What songs have told my spirit's cheer, What sunlight warmed the glowing year, What dear companions round me hung, While life and love and hope were young! These with To-morrow fade apace. Like bloom from a beloved face And trusting half, yet half with dread, I question, "What shall be instead'/" The sun drops deeper, night is chill The oracles I seek arc still Yon herald star which glitters low, Seems beckoning on the way I go. To-morrow? Ah, that door doth ope A new celestial path to Hope. More than I ask or dream must be, In God's To-morrow kept lor me! Atlantic Monthly. FASHION NOTES. Scarcely anything will be more popular than white evening dresses during the pres ent season. They are to be trimmed with bunches of drooping flowers and fruit, form ing fringes. Each fruit will be accompani'd by the flowers or blossoms of its trees before it became fruit. The finest jewelry is no longer made up in single sets of diamonds, pearls, or turquo ise, but in combinations of colorsdiamonds with turquoise and pearls, opals with rubies and diamonds, diamonds with emeralds, and rubies and sapphires with diamonds and gold. The popular glove lor evening wear is the side cut patent Prevost kid, from four to twenty buttons. It is different from all others, the buttons being scarcely perceptible when the arm is raised, while the peculiar and perfect fit adds to the natural beauty and symmetry of the arm. In a few months the polonaise and over skirt will have ceahed to exist, after their long and brilliant career. They will be regretted, for they were pretty, convenient, and very economical, as with a little ingenuity they enabled one to make a new dress of two old ones. Underclothing at this season of the year plays an important pari. There are shown short petticoats of quilted white, pink, or blue silk or of flannel embroidered with white silk and trimmed with lace. The under gar ments with these skirts should always match them. The most popular balmoral skirts this winter are in very quiet colors, as navy blue, or bottle green, or of bright crimson. The felting used is of better quality than former ly, but many ladies make their balmorals of twilled scarlet,' or purple flannel, or of blue serge. An extremely rich skirt trimming consists of a flounce laid in side plaits fully an inch and a half wide at every sixth plait there is a row of jet passementerie covering the plait, the same device being repeated on the other portions of the dress reduced in width and breadth as is appropriate. Orange blossoms are only worn on the day of the wedding, and must be removed before the dress is worn again the myrtle and jessa mine may be retained, mixed with any flower, white or otherwise, that may be preferred, as long as may be convenient. Both gloves and mittens are worn, according to taste. The marquise polonaise is a new and jaun ty garment, giving the effect of a vest and coat shape at the back, which terminates in a very graceful train. This design is spe cially adapted to plain velvet, and the new silkand wool bourette cloth, of which the ground color must be the same as that of the velvet. The designs for evening dresses in thin materials, this season, place silk and satin in combination, instead of underneath the muslin, the tulle or the crepe. Alternate puffings, for example, only slightly gathered and drawn quite straight, are of Bilk and muslin, or satin and lace insertion, with lace ruffles and ribbon trimming. A pretty conceit in the way of a white felt bonnet has the crown trimmed with crimson faille one cream colored feather nods for ward over the crown, and a crimson one falls over a cream faille bow in the back the face trimmings are crimson moss rosebuds nestled down among soft tufts of old Malines lace. Undressed kid is the most popular glove material in use at present, and the shades are softer than those supplied in dressed kid, mouse, gray, chamois, and putty color all handsome tints. Heavy gant de suede gloves are advised for winter use, and these are more durable, as well as warmer than any other kind. Black silks may be cleaned by mixing one large spoonful of soft soap, one pint ofooil ing water, half a pint of alcohol, one tea spoonful of molasses and washing the goods in it. Rub the silk with a piece of black cloth till quite wet on the wrong side, and iron it until quite dry on the same side, If it makes it too stiff add alcohol: if the re verse, add molasses. The disappearance of the polonaise and overskirt may be predicted at a near, though not immediate date. They will be worn through the present winter, but will gradu ally disappear. Ladies who like to be in advance will adopt for the winter the prin cess, tiimmed ax tablicr, with a corsage with vest or with ends, and the short dress for street and travelling costumes. Underskirts are made now so as to add nothing whatever to the volume of the scanty and clinging draperies over them, their only present office being to keep out the train behind. They are cut only to the knee, excessively gored, except just at the back, and then flounces of different lengths are buttoned on according to the length of the dresses with which they are worn but all of them must be plain in front and must "fan out" behind. There is but little novelty in hosiery this winter, except in styles for children. Black silk hose, with long arrows embroidered in white, blue, and cardinal, are fashionable, and expensive, and being so, ladies buy cam els hair stockings of gray aud drab shades, or unbleached balbriggans, either fleece lined or closely woven. For full dress and with flippers ladies wear silkhose of delicate shades, with a warmer pair beneath. Morning walking dresses are either cut so as to clear the ground all rounda style sure to be most general shortlyor very slight ly trained, two or three inches on the ground only, and sufficiently scanty to be easily raised by one hand, viz., from two-and-a-half yards to three. Afternoon walking, techni cally called promenade, dresses, have ten or twelve inch trains, and are from three to four yards wide. Visiting dresses are of course carriage toilets, ve sans dire, and have full, long trains falling in handsome folds, and varying in width from four to five yards. Gone to See About Hell. Fred Hinck, a New York stenographer, suicided a day or two ago by taking poison. After long and assiduous cultivation of the Art, he was yet unable to write fast enough to make a living: so he folded his note-book, and took strychnine. He left a letter for a friend, in which he said: '*I have done my best to qualify myself in my business, but it is not my fate to succeed, and I may as well accept it without whining. I knowthat when I commit suicide people will say that 1 am a fool and lunatic but I don't care for the kick of an ass, though I can't help feeling it. I have minded my business in life, and I will pt my trust in God for the next world. Per haps I may find out that there is a hell, though I think we have hell enough on earth, without manufacturing one for the hereaf- ter." MATRIMONIALLSMS. The honeymoon does not shine for all. Mr. Lord. The old Russian marriage benediction was this: "Here wolf take the lamb."' It is with love as with apparitions. Every one talks of it, but few have seen it. Answer to the proposal of the future "Ask sonny."Xew York World. A Dubuque woman met a slander by hang ing her marriage certificate on a street corner lamp. A gentleman said when a pretty girl trod on his toes, that he had received the stamp of beauty. "Don't you think, husband, that you are apt to believe everything you hear?" "No, madame, not when you talk."' When they speak of a Washington widow nowadays, they refer to her as "an alleged widow who would probably marry again." "I can't undertake, wife, to gratify all your whims it would be as much as my life is worth." "Oh, sir. that is nothing." "How can Heave thee?" said Adam to Eve. She made no reply, but calmly pointed to a fig tree in the distance. He gathered an armful and felt greatly relieved. This was the first re-lief. A lady that would please herself in marry ing was warned that her intended, although a good sort of a man, was very singular. "Well," replied the lady, "if he is very much unlike other men. he is much moie likely to be a good husband." Only five female treasury clerks have thus far succeeded in marrying congressmen. [New Hart a Journal.] No. better put it the other way. Only five congressmen have thus far been fortunate enough to marry treasury clerks. The coldest storm wave of the season was experienced by a young man from Syracuse, who escorted an East Rome girl home Sun day night, and was detected by her father just as he was putting his moustache where it would do har the most good.Home Sen tinel. "I call you darling," she said, as she leaned her head on his coat collar. "Show your hand," he returned mechanically. The young miss, not undeistanding his answer, continued to poker head against his chin, and he hove ace high of relief at her uncon sciousness of his mistake.Rockland Cour ier. The Rev. John Brown, of Haddington, was in the habit of proposing, on festive oc casions, a certain young lady as his toast. Having abandoned the practice, he was asked for a reason. "Becaube, said he, "I have toasted her for sixteen years without making her Brown, and so I've resolved to toast hex no more." Recently a minister received a minister's half-fare traveling card, as they are called, and wrote to the superintendent, asking "if he could not embrace his wife also." The superintendent replied that he thought likely he could, but did not want to say positively until he had seen the wife, as he was some what fastidious in his tastes.Denver Tri bune. LITTLE FOLKS. "Papa," said a little girl, "give me a ride on your knee, won't you?" JHe took the little gallop at once.N. Y. Commercial Adver tiser. A little one in Philadelphia heard a mouse squeaking the other night, and remarked, "O mousey, mousey, 'ou eat too much mince pie, too." A little girl said to her mamma: "Mamma, have you heard of the man that got shot?" "No, child how did he get shot?" asked mamma. "Oh," said the young precious, "he bought 'em." "Papa," said a bright boy, just home from a sleight-of-hand entertainment, "I wish I was a conjurer." "Why. my son?" "I would turn you into a rat, call up the cat, and wouldn't I have fun Small Girl"Mamma, give me some more pie." Mamma (who wants the small girl to say "please")"I don't hear you, my child." Small Girl"Give me some more pie!" Mamma"1 don't hear you, my child." Small Girl"Oh, mamma, you must be near sighted in the ears."X. Y. World. A little girl down in Maine was listening with much interest to the story of Jonah. When the question was asked, "What would you suppose would be the first thing Jonah would do after the great fish threw him upon the land?" ske promply answered. "I sh'd fink he'd go home quick as he could and get cleaned up." "Papa," meditatively said a curly-pated Brooklyn youngster, who stood in his night gown looking out of the back window the other morning, "I wish I was a chicken." "Why so?" asked his admiring parent. "Be- cos'," replied the youngster, hesitating, "be- cos' then I wouldn't have to dress myself dese cold mornms'." Stanley to Head a Herald Expedition to the Arctic Hey tons. A New York special of the 19th to the Boston Herald says: "It has long been known here among well-informed journalists that Mr. Bennett of the Herald hesitated ori ginally as to whether he would send Stanley to Africa, or to the Arctic Ocean, or on a North Pole exploration. There is no ques tion but that the pnrchase of the steam yatch Pandora by Mr. Bennett, in London, is the initial step toward carrying out his long-cherished idea of a Herald exploring expedition in search of the remains of Sir John Franklin and the open Polar Sea Doubtless some of the attaches of the Herald could, if so disposed, tell of recent efforts made to secure the services for such an ex pedition of the men who a few months ago disposed of certain effects believed to have belonged to Sir John Franklin, which they obtained from members of the Esquimaux tribe, who undoubtedly buried the unfortu nate but brave English explorer. People may rest assured that Mr. Stanley will lead an expedition, provided solely by Mr. Ben nett, to the Arctife regions the coming sea son but it is doubtful whether the brave fellow will be as successful in the icy mount ains as he was among the golden sands of Africa. Intervention of the Almighty Invoked. [Winona Herald.] Some parties in this city are attempting to organize a base ball association for the com ing season. God forbid! A church in Newcastle, Iowa, has issued a for mal memorial and petition to the railroad com panies whose roads pass through the western part of the State, praying them to discontinue the running of the Sunday trains. I 1 I tVVHr^tUfS.mt^ SLEEP. When to soft sleep we give ourselves away And in a dream, as in a fairy bark Drift on and on, through the enchanted dark To purple daybreaklittle thought ej pay To that sweet bitter world, we know bv dav, We are clean quit of it, as is the lark So high in Heaven, no human eve may, mark The thin, swift pinion, cleaving through the gray. Till we awake, ill fate can do no ill, The restiDg heart shall not take up again The heavy load that must make it bleed For this brief space, the loud world's voice is still, No faintest echo of it brings us pain. How will it be we shall sleep indeed WEDDED IN .JEST. And Astonished to Find That They If are Jieen Harried in Earnest. [From the Denver Tribune.] F. D. McHolland, E. A. Palmer, and an other gentleman whose name has not yet reached Denver, were visiting three young ladies named Kate Lewis, Addie Patterson, and Laura Patterson, in La Veta, last Sun day night. The six gradually paired off, Mr. McHolland and Miss Lewis occupying one part of the room, Mr. Palmer and Patterson another, and the third gentleman and Miss Laura Patterson still another. All proceed ed merrily. Mr. McHolland exclaimed dur ing a brief general conversation: "Wouldn't it be nice for us all to be mar- ried?" "Wouldn't it now?" said one of the la dies. "Just the thing," said another gentleman. "Splendid said another lady. "I'm in for it," said another gentleman. "Put 'er thar, old pard," said his friend. Well, now, this is really growing interest- ing," from one of the ladies. "I suppose we'll be married before morning. "Yes," responded the first speaker, "mar ried and well of it." "Shall I go for the doctor?" asked one of the gentlemen. Chorus"Yes make no delay. Let no dust stick to the bottom of \our soles, for a desperate case." And off he went. "Ain't this fun though? queried one girl as the interested messenger was seen to turn the corner. "The jolliest game," said the second. W. A. Toffelmire was the "Doctor" before whom the messenger laid the case. Mr. Toffelmire is a justice of the peace, fully au thorized by law to solemnize the rite of mat rimony. He was at his house waiting for something to turn up. No delay was neces sary. He went immediately to the place where he was told that his services were re quired. No license is needed for marriage this State. He called the young parties into the middle of the parlor floor. With a few words solemnly spoken and in due form of law, he pronounced the words that made three of six, and united the destinies of these adventurous couples. After the ceremony was performed one of the ladies declared that she had never been a party "to such a jolly joke in all her born days." "Joke!" exclaimed the Judge, "joke! If you think you'll find this a joke, you are very much mistaken. You're tied as tight as Haman was when he was hung.'' No joke! Horrors! What a time for faints! Blank looks took the places of joyous coun tenances. The pulses of the young ladies fell before zero in an instant, They had not intended to be married, but they were. It was a joke,, and such a joke as others might laugh at more than those most di rectly interested. The ladies were young and had not dreamed of matrimony. Be sides it is said that one of them was en gaged to a young man who has been dig gingaway in the San Juan mines for the last year, with the hope of getting money enough to set up housekeeping. But what is to be done? Divorce is the only alternative. The married people have not lived together, and the gentlemen were required to go to their respective homes Sunday night, before time to retire, as usual. It is understood that proceedings will at once be begun to obtain the papers that will set them free again. What plea will be urged cannot be stated, but, in the present condition of the minds of the young ladies, there is no doubt that that of incompatibility of temper would prove a good one. Mr. McHolland is deputy sheriff of Huer fano county, Mr. Palmer is agent for the Denver and Rio Grande railroad at La Veto, and the other bridegroom is connected with a saw mill. The ladies reside at La Veta. JACK STURGES BOUNCED." The King of the Chicago Wheat Gambler* Get* a "Ticket of Leave." [Chicago Times, 24.] Accoiding to general expectation, at noon on yesterday, Mr. N. K. Fairbank. president of the board of trade, announced the expul sion of Mr. W. N. Sturges lrom the mem bership of the board, the action being the result of the decision of the supreme court in the appealed case, of which the following is A FULL TEXT. Appellant on the 24th day of November, 1874, filed a bill in chancery in the circuit court of Cook county, in which among other things it is alleged that certain proceedings had taken place before the board of trade and its officers, relating to a proposition or demand for the expulsion of appellant from membership in that corporation, upon certain charges which proceedings, it is alleged, were irregular, and in violation of the regu lations of the board that the president and directors are inimical to appellant, and desire to expel him from said board whether guilty or not guilty, and that they have proceeded to ballot and to ask all members to ballot and vote upon the question of his expulsion: that by ingenious and fictitious reports made by them to the board, they have created a preju dice againbt him, and that he is in danger of being expelled and appellant iu his bill praya for an injunction forbidding his expul sion, and all further action in such proceed ings, and enjoining defendants (appellees from preventing or trying to prevent him from entering the building of such board. A temporary injunction was ordered and issued. The appellees filed answers, at tempting to vindicate their actions, and in sisting that complainant had no sufficient ground for the relief sought. The injunc tion was afterward dissolved by order of the circuit court, and the court assessed damages against the appellant upon its dissolution of the injunction, and gave judgment therefor. The complainant brings the record here on appeal. The judgment of the decree of the circuity, court must be affirmed. It is very clear that the bill in this case pre&ents no case war ranting the intervention of a court of chan cery. The rules laid down in the case of Baxter vs. the Board of Trade (not yet re ported opinion filed at Ottawa, Jan. 22, 1877,) must govern this case. It is there shown that even if a member may resort to the courts for remedy in such cases, he must go to a court of law. Decree affirmed. ALTHOUGH MB. STUBGES has fully determined upon a course of action in the premises, he does not feel disposed to make the same known as yet. He looks upon the board's action as unjust, and thinks he can satisfy the majority that he has been grievously wronged. His expulsion did not surprise him at all, but he clearly betrays bis anxiety regarding reinstatement. .^wsat A Uachelor in a Motel. [From the Chicago Times. 1 One of the pleasantest things afjoci hotel life is for a bachelor to sleep in a room which communicates, en as it v.ere, with other rooms on its right and left,'allowing every sound to reach his ears. Very often the flanking apartments are occupied by married people, with or without children, more frequently the former. The bachelor, having nothing to come home to. prolongs his stay at the saloon, mayhap, until 1 or _* o'clock in the morning. He reaches* hk room and attempts to snatch some repose, aided by the narcotic effects of some mid night celery, beer and tobacco. Vain hope. The infant on his right has the colic, and howls murder, while the anxious father, his night shirt, paces the room and attempts to keep the cherub from yelling too lustily. Then the gentle mother, snug in bed, calls out: "Why, Jeems. how can you handle the poor baby so awkwardly." Whereupon "Jeems" becomes nervous, increases in aw k wardness. and the infantile screeching grows in proportion. For two or three hours the hapless bachelor twists and turns, unable to repose, and with the thought that he has to get up at o'clock to go to work staring him in the brain. Finally, the innocent expends his wind, and peace appears to be restored. De lusive belief! Hardly has No. 1 quieted down, when infant No. 2, in the room on the left is seized with the whooping cough, which awakens the whole family, who begin to chatter in chorus. This continues tor an hour, perhaps longer, when infant No. 1 wakes up again with a storm in its bowels. He lends his howl to the storm, and tho un happy bachelor stops his ears with both pil lows, but the shrill nuisance penetrates his cranium even then. Daylight begins to ap pear before he can fall asleep, and hia eyes have been closed only five minutes, when he hears the fiendish watchman knock like a battering-ram at the next door, and sing out, ':Half past five o'clock. Time to get up." The bachelor knows that his turn will be next, so, in desperation, he jumps out oi bed and dresses. If you see a hollow-eyed, pale looking youth crawling to his work that day, returning from an unsatisfactory din ner, be sure he is some poor de\ ll of a bach elor, boarding in the "family" or top floor of the hotel, where children aie allowed to lun riot by day, as well as scream fiercely by night. This explains why people read iu the advertising columns so many notices of board required in places where there arw no children. TRAVELERS* GUIDE. St. I'attl Railroad Time Talden. St. Paul & Pacific Ilailroutl. Depot foot of Sibley Street. Mam Liue trains for Delano, Litchfield, Wdlmar, Beuson, Morrib, Glyu dou, Fisher's Lauding aud Winnipeg. Lea\e. Arrive. St. Paul .8:1 0 a. in. 1 St. Paul 6:10 p. in. Minneapolis 8:56 a. in. Minneapolis 5:3 p. m. Branch Liue tram for Anoka, St. Cloud, Melrohe, Sauk Rapids, Brainerd, Bismarck aud Deadwood. Leave. Arrive. St. Paid 7:30 a.m. I St. Paul 7:0up. iu. Minneapolis 7:55 a. HI. Minneapolis 6:44 p. ni. St. Paul aud Minneapolis trains. Lea\e. Arrive. St. Paul 8:10 a.m. St. Paul .10:00 a.m. St. Paul 12:30 p.m. St. Paul 2:50 p. m. St. Paul 6:10 p.m. Minneapolis 7:55 a. in. Minneapolis 11:00 a.m. Minneapolis 1:50 m. Minneapolis 3:52 p. in. Minneapolis 5:33 p. m. Minneapolis 8:56 a. m. Mmueapohsl0:35 a. m. MiuucapoliH 1:0.J p. ni. Minneapolis 3:26 p.m. Minneapolis 6:44 p. m. St. Paul 8:36 a. in. St. Paul 11:40 a. m. St. Paul 2:25 u. in. St. Paul 4:28 p. ni. St. Paul 0:10 p.m. The N. W. E. 8. T. Co.'s four-horwi coaches connect with trains at Fisher's Landing for Winni peg and intermediate points. St. Paul & Dulutli iiIro.ul. Trains. .Leave for. Arrive trom. Duluth i i Hinckley :00 a. ni. 6:00 p. m. 8tillwater.. Chicago, St. Paul and Minneapolis Line Comprising the West Wisconsin and |ii wig and Northwestern Railways. Depot foot of Sibley street. Ticket aud Freight office, northwest corner Third and Jackson streets. Charles H. Petach, Ticket Agent. Trains Leave. Arrive. Through Chicago audi *ll:25 a.m., 17:00 a.m. Eastern Express jt 7:30 p. m. *S:(y p. m. Hudson Accommodation 5:60 p. in.|*10:15 a.m. Connections made at Camp Douglas for Milwaukee, Sundays excepted. +Saturdaj excepted. Mon- dayB excepted. Northern Pacific Railroad. Depot foot of Sibley htreet. Ticket and Freight office, No. 43 Jackson street. Trains. Westward. Eastward. St. Paul Minneapolis Sauk Itapids Brainerd Glyndon Moorhead. Fargo Fargo Bismarck. Duluth N. P. Junction 'Le. ,Le. Le. 7:30 a. 7:40 a. 11:10 a. 2:00p 8:22 p. 8:45 p. 8:50 p. 7:00 a. 7:00 p. 5:00 a. 7:00 a. m. m. m. m. m. II!. m. m. m. m. m. Ar. Ar. Ar. Ar. Ar. Ar. Le. Ar. *U. Ar. Ar. 7:00 p. m. 6:50 p. m. 3:10 p. m. 12 in 6:00 a. m. 5:35 a. m. 5:30 a. in. 7:00 p. m. 7:00 a. in. 9 lop in. 7:10 p. m. JLe. Le. Le. Ar. Le. 'Ar. |+Le. iLe. Trains via the Brainerd Branch leave St. Paul daily, except Sunday, making a day run of thirteen hours to Fargo, arriving at Bibinarck the following evening, saving ucarly 90 miles in distance over the old route via N. P. Junction. Connection made at Bismarck with stages for Deadwood and ail points iu the Black Hills. *PasHengers for Bismarck and Jamestown should leave St. Paul Mondays, Wednes days aud Fridays. Returning, leave Bismarck Mon days, Wednesdays and Fridays. +Pahsen*jer8 for Aiken and points east of Brainerd should leav a St. Paul Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Return ing, leave Duluth Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday*. Connects at St. Paul with trains to all points Kat and South. In effect December 31, 1877. H. E. SARGENT, General Manager. G. G. SAUBQBN, Gen. Passenger Agent. Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway. Passenger Depot foot of Jackson street. Ticket and Freight Office Southeast Corner of Third and Jack son streets. Charles Thompson, Tickut Ageut, St. Paul. River Division Through Chicago East-i eru Express Through Chicago & East ern Express Iowa and Minnesota Di ision Prairie du Chien, Milwan-i kee and Chicago Express1 Owatouna Passenger *11:22 am i :00 +7:40 ni All trains daily, except Sunday. *'i:10 a *5:50 a *4:50 in lurju a xa St. Paul and Minneapolis tnuud via Fort Sueiung and Minnehaha. Lve. St. Paul J6:20 a m'Arr.MinneapolLj *7:10 a 10:05 am' 10:*iam 1:30 pro :20 *3:10 *i :00 5:30 ml ti:15pm Lve. Minneapolis 8:15 a mlArr. St. Paul 9:00 a lOS'.an: *11:15 am 1.25 pin 2:10 3:10pm 4:0) +6:45 pin *7:J5pm Sundays excepted, days exceptPd. +8aturdays excepted. Mon- tit. Paul & Sioux City and. Sioux City and Paul Railroads. Depot foot of Jackson street. Sioux City, Council Bluffs & Omaha Express St. James Accommodat'n. 3:15 7:15 a II:10 a 6:50 ni St. Paul, Stillwater, Taylor's Palls, and Noitli ~\Viqyonsin Railroads. 8t. Patd & Stillwater trams: Afturvx. Stillwater.. 11:40 am .5:45 St. Paul 9:50 am .3:35 Si. Panl 10:25 am 4:30 pin Stillwater.. 8:30 am 2:15 North Wisconsin Trains and for Dalles of St. Croix. St. PauL .10:25 a St. Paul 3:35 Southern Minnesota Railway, Connecting at Ramsey with C. M. & St. Trains North and South. At Wells with Central Railroad of Minneeota, and at La Crosse with C. M. & St. P. Hallway for all points East. Going WestTrains leave La Crosse 13Tm Trains pass Ramsey 2:42 Going EastTrains pass Ramsey U) :45 am Arrive at La Crosse 5 r2H Minneapolis Time.