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10 IES, TES, VHICKET, I LOVE HIM. 11 BY MARGARI& iTHSOB. 12$ twilight faded into night, 'The pale moon brighter grew, The soft greensward so eagerly "Was welcoming the dew That it my footsteps ne'er betrayed As I drew near my gray-eyed maid— Jly gray-eyed maid who never yet Had answered ye a nor nay, But when I begged of her a kiss Looked straight another way, And spoke of tree, or flower, or bird, As though she had not beard a word. I lingered by the open door, She dreamed not I was near. And thus it was my happy fate The song she sang to bear— A song with sweetest music filled, Sang to the strain a cricket shrilled. It was the most delightful thing To lover evor known, Her merry notes accorded to The cricket's monotone, And as the words she sang I caught, The night with melody seemed fraught "Yes, yes, cricket, I love him, And some time I'll tell him so; But not yet — oh, no, no, no! Modest maidens should be slow What is in their hearts to show. And 'tis but two months ago Since we first met. Pinks and roses, Sweet things, had just ceased to blow. Yes, yes, cricket, I love him. "Yes, yes, cricket, I love him, And some time I'll tell him so; But not yet — no, no, no! I will be as cold as snow Till bis eyes reproachful grow, Till he turns from me to go; Then I'll whisper softly, softly, That which you already know, Yes, yes, cricket, I love him." Before the last word parted from The air, I'd reached her side, And taken from her lips the kiss She had so oft denied. She tried to frown, but smi'eJ ere long; She knew I'd heard the cricket-song. SriXXIXG A YARN. Young Slappensifter's Adventure with a Bear and Curly lleti's Daughter, "I don't suppose there's any one here who would ever think of doubting the word of old 'Squire Overfed, is there?" inquired the Sheriff. "Who?" promptly responded the old Bottler, straightening up in his chair. It was plain that he had a suspicion in his mind, but did not care to act upon it without further information. "Well," said the Sheriff, "the last time I saw the 'Squire he told me a very re markable story, and — " "That's it," shouted the old settler. "Thar you be ! I know'd it, boys ; b' gosh, I know'd it ! He's goanter spring a lie agin us ez '11 make Annynias and Sapiry turn over, an' he wants to lay it to poor ole 'Squire Overfed — poor ole 'Squire Overfed, ez is ben play en' on a harp fur twenty year, an' never tole a lie in his life. Gosht'lmighty ! It makes me wish I'd a ben born a — well, born a temper'nee lect'rer, boys, and was here & savin', 'Tech not, taste not, handle not,' 'stead o' gittin' up, as I'm goanter, an' savin', 'Yes, b' gosh, boys, 111 jine ye?'" i "But this story is a ripper," said the Sheriff, after they had all sat down, again, "and if anybody else had told it but the old 'Squire I'd have been a lit tle shaky of it. As near as I can re member it, there was a family named. Mushback lived over back of Ball Hill » "Look a yer, Shurf," interrupted the old settler, "this ain't the time o.' year fur me to go a razin' no muss with no body, Chris'mus a coinin' on so clus, an' everybody a feelin' good. Me an' you's lived neighbors a good while, an' my Ole woman an' your'n 's borried so many things o' one another off an' on an' to an' fro that mine can't tell whuther it's yourn ez owes her a pair o' flatirons or whuth er it's her ez owes your'n a cup o' ginger, the heft o' evidence bein', howsumever, that the flatirons is due. But that ain't neither yer nor thar. I don't wan ter raise no muss but I ken tell you, right yer, b'gosh, an' I'm a layin' it out to you with a straight edge, that they ain't no durn man ez trapeses this coun ty, Sliurf nur no Shurf, neighbor nur no neighbor, ez kin git up when I'm on the taps an' throw up to me what any o" tho Mushbacks done. I want veto un'erstan 1 b'gosh, that I had an aunt ez married a Husliback, an* I won't have no one a lyin 1 about 'em. What a ye want a come yet fur, anyway, on' rake up them ole M -.sH);tv,k scrapes ez was furcofc forty yvars ago? They tnw a good many things laid to 'em ez they never done, anyhow, an' I'll bate it's jast one o' them you've got a holt on; likely ez cot that coiisarned lie 'bout Uncle Harp Mushback bein' ketched one night a leadin' a hoss ez didn't b'long to him, which the hoss were loaded with a pas- Bel o' mutton that had ben in Solly C lutes' spring-house when Solly went to bod that night. But I give ye warnin', Shurf, don't ye say nothin' agin the Mv.shbacks, or I'll make things howl 'round yer to-night, an' the loudest thing*!! be you, b'gosh t'liuightv !" "But, Major," said the Sheriff, "this ain't any "story about the Mushbacks. I don't know anything about the Mush backs. It's about a man that bought a house of a family by that name." "Don't care!" said the old settler. "The Mushbacks is mixed up in it, an' it'll be a lie, anyhow, if you tell it, an' I won't have it !" "See here, Sheriff," said the County Clerk, "you better put that story off. I've heard you tell it twice, anyway, .v:u the last time you told it you got it quite a little different from the first time. Take a veek and think it up, and I'll tell a story to-night myself." "Thar !" exclaimed the old settler, beaming with satisfaction, "now we'll git suthin' ez'll wash. We'ni sure o 1 straight goods now, boys, an' we won't have to go hum to-night a feelin' that all men is liars. Go on, ole man. Prewarication is the thief o' time." Ami the old settler lay back in his chair with closed eves and a sinil\! on his face, and waited for the County Clerk's straight goods, which were measured off as follows : "Big Hickory Hollow ain't the place it used to be, even twenty-five years riro. The old stock of people that once lived there is all run out, and the scrub oak has levied on most everything there is there. But take it sixty years ago — " "I'm durn sorry this is a second-hand yarn,'' said the old settler, opening his eyes and looking disappointed. "But then, o' course, you got it from yer f am'ly afore yer, an' that's go< >d 'nough recondemnation fur it." And the smile came back to the old settler's face. "But take it sixty years ago," contin ued the County Clerk, without making any declaration as to his authorities, "and Big Hickory Hollow was about as chipper a settlement as there was be tween the head of the Bushkill and the narrows of the Laekawack. There was some curious people scattered through that corner of the country, though, and Curly Ben Teeter was one of the queer est of the lot. They called him Curly Ben because he wore two curls, nearly a foot long, one in front of each ear. Ben was about as tough a fighter as the Hollow could turn out, although it was a tolerably even tiling between him and Hipe Sloppensifter, Mho lived on the clearing next but one to Curly's. Curly never missed a dance, a stone frolic, a wedding, a funeral or a lawsuit that came oft' within a day's walk of his cab in. He'd go further, though, to get in a lawsuit than for anything else. The principal reason for . that, they used to say, was because lawsuits were always held at the tavern, and whenever Curly Ben struck a tavern he was just moving in society, and no mistake. They al« ways knew when he was looking for a fight. It came on by degrees. First he'd throw one curl over behind his ear. Then he was beginning to get mad. By and by he'd flop t'other curl over t'oth er ear. Then he was awful mad, and the boys that wasn't game would begin to drop out of the bar-room. But when he tied the curls in a hard knot behind his head the business was in, and he'd fight as long as there was anybody left, or until the curls came untied. When they ;ot loose the fight was done, for it wa >u't etiquette in Big Hickory Hol low to hit Ben after his hair came 100.-c. When the muss was ended Curly \l get over liis mad gradually by bringing first one and then t'other curl back to tie front of his ears. Then he'd ask every one in the house to have a drink, cud away he'd pike for home. "When Curly Ben Teeter first struck the Hollow he'd been married fifteen years. His eldest child was a daughter by the name of Keturah, but they called her Ketu. Curly's clearing was at the foot of a steep, barren ridge, about 100 feet high, and his cabin was built as near the bottom of the slope as he could get it. When Ketu Teeter got to be 16, she was a little the slickest chunk there was in the Hollow, and what should young Panama Sloppensifter do but tumble head over heels in love with her. Panama was the son of old Hipe Slop pensifter I mentioned awhile ago. Old Hipe was a queer Dick, too. He had a big family and he took all their names out of the geography. Some were named after mountains, some after riv ers, and so on. There was his daugh ters Hecla, Andes, Carthagena and Amazon, and his sons Darien, Nicara gua, Popocatapetl and Panama. They worn't bad sort of people, as people went in Big Hickory Hollow, bat there Avas a great animosity between Curly Ben and Hipe. "Panama Sloppensifter made a liv ing by splitting shingles. He was about 21 years old, and never took to a gun. In fact he had never killed a deer, let alone a bear or a panther, and he wasn't popular among the young bucks of the Hollow on that account. "Well, Panama got to hanging around the Teeter cabin quite considerable, and finally Curly Ben said he'd see about it. Ketu, shelikedihe youngster, and, when Ben asked her if she did, she owned up. One day he found Panama and her talk ing together by the front door, and ho pays to the young man : "'Panama,' says he, 'ye got sort of a sneakin' notion for Ketu, ain't ye ?' " ' Wall, now, Curly,' said Panama — everybody called Ben Curly — ' ye've struck the proper tree for shingles this time,' says he. " ' Wanter marry her, don't ye ?' said Curly. " ' Wall, now, ruther,' said Panama. " ' Ye ain't much on the shoot, be ye ? Ain't rasseled round the swamps with many bar, yit, hey ye? Don't know how it feels to hey a painter chaw ye, do ye? Ye ain't never even shot a r.ib bit, hey ye ?' and Ben threw one curl behind his ear. " ' I've snared 'em,' said Panama, feeling his knees begin to shake. " ' Ye've snared 'em, hey ye ?' yelled Ben, slinging t'other curl behind t'other ear. 'Ye've snared 'em, hey ye? Wall, looky yer; I wanter plant it inter ye that ye can't come a snarin' nothin' 'round this yer clearin' ! Bars is what counts whar I rule the roost! Bars, ye shingle-splittin' lummix! Bars! bars! and Curly danced around poor Panama like an Indian. "About the time that Panama and Ketu were nearly scared to death Curly quieted down. He took one curl from behind his ear. " ' Say, kin ye fetch me in a bar, d'ye s'pose ?' lie asked. 'Ef ye kin fetch me a bar, ye kin hey the gal, ez wuthlesa ez ye be!' "' Curly,' said Panama, ' ef they's a bar ez high ez forty mile o' Big Hick'ry, I'll git him for you, ef I foller him a year !' THE ST. PAUL SUNDAY GLOBE, SUNDAY MORNING, MA V 13, lb£& "Panama felt that it would bo about as safe to meet a bear as have Curly ever tie them curli together. Ben took i'other curl from behind his ear. " 'Fotch me a bar, said he. 'ar.u the gal's your'n. Alt' don't you come fool in' round yer agin' till you do fotch tlve bar nuther. Now git !' "Panama started for home, but he hadn't gone out of hearing when Curly called him back. " 'Looky yer,' said he, 'ye un'erstan', o' course, that it's to be a live bV»r, don't yeV " 'A live bar, gasped Panama. " 'It's to be a live bar. A live, wild bar. They ain't goin' to be no buyitr o' some secon' han' carcass o' bar an' a workin' of it off outer me fur the gal. A live bar, ye understan' ?' " "Bully for Curly Bob!" said the old settler, as the County Clerk paused to light his pipe. "Oh, this yer yarn is suthin like. Listen to dead facs, Shurf, an' arter this try an' stick to 'em." "Panama said lie understood," con tinued the old settler as he returned to his shingle-splitting with his heart in his boots. He felt that Curly had told him in a delicate way that any con nection between the Teeter and Stop pensifter families was not to be thought of. "There had been an unusual fall of snow that Avinter, and an awful heavy crust had formed on it. One day Panama was up in the mountain, five miles from the Hollow, hunting shinglo trees. Over on the east edge of Burnt hill he found some good ones, and while he was marking 'em with his ax a big bear jumped out of a hollow place in a tree just at his side. Mechanically, in his fright he whacked away at the bear with his ax, and the next minut-e the ax was flying through the air, and he and the bear were having a little hugging match. The crust was so slippery that neither of 'em could keep his feet, lucky for Panama, and the first thing that he knew both he and the bear were whizzing down that mountain like a streak of chain lightning. Burnt hill is more than a thousand feet high, and on the east side is one straight slope from top to bottom, at an angle of about forty -five degrees. Well, sir, Panama afterward said that they went so fast that neither him nor the bear could change his position nor do any fighting. The bear was in under, on his back, and Panama was laying in its hug. At the foot of the mountain a road that was cut to snake log 3 and wood down to the settlement branched oft' to the east. It was all the way down hill from the mountain, and terrible steep at that. When the bear and Panama struck this road they kept right on down, with no slackening of speed. They kept the road for four miles, where it made a sharp turn to the left, Of course they couldn't make the turn' and away they went straight ahead for a quarter of a mile through the brush, and their speed was so high that when they struck the foot of a ridge that runs across the country there, a hundred feet or more high, it never stopped them, but they shot up that ridge as if they were being pulled uy> by a steam engine, slid over the top of it in a jiffy, and in less than three seconds were tearing down the other side faster than ever." The smile had gradually left the old settlers face. He had ceased to beam, and was clutcliing his cane nervously. "Suddenly," continued the County Clerk, "when Panama had made up his mind they'd never stop much tin's side of sunrise, they struck something. The next thing Panama knew he was crawl ing out from under the roof of a house that had fallen on him. The bear was crawling out on one side of him, and on the other, from among a lot of logs, shingles and household furniture of various kinds, came Curly Ben Tee ter, the most astonished and worst tore-up looking man that ever trod the foot-stool. As soon as he could get his breath, he exclaimed: " 'What under the gol durn canopy has dropped on us ? Be we struck by lightuin', or be we rattled up by an a rthquake ?' "Panama took it all in at once. The bear had got out by this time, and was ready to begin the fight all over again. " 'It's only me, just got in with that bar ye were so durn anxious fur to git,' Said Panama. ' I wanted to s'prise ye, so I come right in without knockin'. Thai's yer bar, and I'm just a reckonin' that me an' Ketu is goanter buckle.' "You see — " The old settler arose and walked to the door without a word. Pausing, with his hand on the knob, he turned to the County Clerk, shook his cane at him, and said: "Yes, b'gosh, we see! We see that it's durn easy to be mistook. We see that if a man kin lie good he kin make more Pike county hist'ry in a quarter of an hour than could a happened since the flood, an' you kin give 'em all pints a makin' it, b'gosh flmighty !" And the old settler went out and slammed the door until the windows jingled. The boys laughed, then they smiled, then they all went home. — New York Sun. The great ice-fields in the North Atlantic, says the Rochester Democrat, are probably the causes of our very chilly weather. Were it not for the enormous ice drift out of Baffin's bay, each year, our climate would be quite mild in comparison with what it is. The vast field of ice and monstrous bergs rob the air of its warmth and produce chilling winds. The influence of the Gulf stream is neutralized until the ice disappears. Knowledge without justice ought to be called cunning rather than wis dom. — Flate. A LITTLE VAGUE. The foreman who has sat up all night and nearly gone crazy over trying to figure how to make up his paper and get all the "special-position" advertise ments in their contract places, will ap preciate this from Bill Nye's Laramie Boomerang : A tall, pleasant-looking gentleman, with quick, restless eyes, and the air of a man who had been in a newspaper office before, dropped into the Boomer it n<j science department and asked tho pale, scholarly blossom who sat writing an epic on the alarming prevalence of pip and its future as a national evil, if he could be permitted to read the Dcs eret News. The scientist said "Certainly," and, after a long, weary tussle, got the Mor mon plaque out of the ruins. "I used to be foreman of the Deseret Newß, n said the gentleman with the penetrating eyes. "I worked on the News two years and had a case on the Tribune. I've been foreman of thirty seven papers during my life, but my most unfortunate experience was on the Deseret Netßß, I wanted the paper just now to see if they were still run ning an ad that I had some trouble with when I was there. "It was a contract we had with Dr. IJclshazzer to advertise his Blue-Eyed Forget-me-Not Perfume, Dr. Balshaz zer's Pied Tar Worm Buster and Dr. Baishazzer's Baled Brain Food and Tulurockandryecodliveroil. The Blue- Eyed Forget-me-Not Perfume was to go solid in long primer, following pure reading-matter cod in daily and eowtf weekly. The Red Tar Worm Buster was to go in nonpareil leaded 1921. Tth- Fth 98weow3mo, and repeat, and the Baled Brain Food and Tulurockandrye codliveroil was a oi\-i"soh electrotype, to go in on third page, following pare, original humorous matter, with six full head-lines, d&weodoctttf, set in read ing-type similar to copy, these to be in serted between pure religious news, with no other advertising within four miles of the electro or the reading notices. "At the same time we were running old Monkeywrenche's Kidney Scraper on the same kind of a contract. The biisiness manager did not remember this when we took the contract, so that as soon as we began to run the two there was a collision between the Tulurock andryeandcodliveroil and the Kidney Scraper right off. I spoke to the busi ness manager about it and he was puz zled. He didn't exactly know what it was best to do under the circumstances, still he hated to lose old Baishazzer's whole trade, for he wouldn't run any of his ads unless we would run them all according to his contract. "We tried to get him to let us run the Blue Eyed Forget-me-Not Perfume lapr9d&wlydeod&wly 10-2t-eowtf, the lied Tar Worm Buster do 13±t da22tf rprls-ly do 13tf, and the Brain Food and Tulurockandryeandcodliveroil mch 18*ly jun 4dtf c<fcdauglß@g£*&Sylds3o -tf&rsvpeods, but he wouldn't do it. "I displayed his ad top of column adjoining humorous column, with three line leaders and astonishers without ad vertising marks or signs according to copy and instructions to foreman, all omissions or wrong insertions to be charged to the paper at double rates, readers to be scattered through tele graph and editorial, the daily and week ly papers to be sent to advertising agents and proprietors of remedies and their relatives tf. ; the paper agreeing to take no other advertisement from any one else, and tried the best I knew how to satisfy him, but it was no go. He stuck for his contract. "Most every day he would write to the publishers that his ad was not in position and that the paper was run ning up an awful bill for forfeiture and failure to comply with terms of agree ment. "The business man would come into the composing-room and give me ihun der about it, and I would try to explain to him until my brain ached. Finally, Dr. Balshazzer brought suit against the paper for $5,000 damages and $500 for forfeiture on the scale of double value of gross contract price, with other little etceteras. I was discharged, but re tained under bond as a witness on the trial. I couldn't give bonds, so I went to jail pending the trial. The case was continued till the next year, and then I went up to testify. "I said on oath that as near as I can remember the electros were to go 4eod dlytfSmdsicodfrscb&wklyJan3osfd & Z. C.ML., and that the readers were to be scattered through our continued story or in among the sermons of John Tay lor, and that we were to mark them docobstlßso,tfrsyp&s*, and that they were to be double leaded and headed with italic caps. Still I said it had been Borne time since I saw the contract, and [ had been sxiffering with brain fever six months in jail, and possibly my mem ory might be defective. I would go over it again and see if I was right. "The electrophones were to be blown in the bottle and the readers were to be set in lower case slugs with guarantee of good faith and Rough on Rats would not die in the house. Use Pinkham's sozodont for itching, freckles, bunions and croup. It saved my life. My good woman why are you bilious with em quads in solid minion. Ureka Jumbo Baking Powder will not crack or fade in any climate sent on three months' trial in leaded brevier quoins and all wool column rules warranted to cure rheumatism and army worms or money refunded. To be adjoining miscellany or fancy brass dashes marked eodsyld & *!*?"— w At tin's moment a dark-browed man came in and told us that the young man was his charge and on his way to Mount Pleasant Asylum for the Insane, and that we should have to excuse the intrusion. After subscribing for the paper and asking us if we had hoard from Ohio, he went away. The scientist said afterward that he found it difficult to follow the young man in some of his statements, and that he was just going to ask him to go over that again and say it slower, when the Moixnt Pleasant man came in and inter rupted the flow of conversation. 11 ALE A SHIRT TO HIS BACK. One sultry Sunday a minister was thundering away at his drowsy congre gation, the majority of which would go to sleep in spite of all his efforts. At last he shouted: "Wake up here! There is a man preaching to you who has only half a shirt on his back!" It woke them tremendously. The next day a delegation of ladies visited the parsonage and presented the preacher with a package contaiuing some very nice shirts, saying, "that it was a shame that he should be reduced to half a shirt to Ms back." He replied, after accepting the shirts with thanks, "that he was not literally reduced to a half shirt, although he wore only a half on his back; he wove the other half in front of him." AX VyCLK TO MS OWX GRAXDCKILD A Westport man has his family rela tionship terribly intermixed. As the relationship now stands, he is brother in-law to his own daughter, uncle to his own grandchild, and his wife becomes stepmother to her own brother and grandmother to her own niece, while his daughter becomes sister-in-law to her own father, and his son-in-law bo comes step-son-in-law to his own sister, while he stands in the double relation ship of son-in-law and brother-in-law to the much-related man first mentioned. — Hartford Courani. MOW C AX DOIt PAYS. "We had better understand each oth er," he said deprecatingly, as he sham bled into the editorial room, "before we begin. I'm a book-agent!" Unmindful of the groans that met this statement he went on : "I'm not a white-hair ed philanthro pist from New Haven, who has come South through sympathy for your stricken people. I'm a fair, square, bald-headed book- agent." Encouraged by the reception of this frank avowal he took a seat, and, drop ping his feet in a waste-basket, said : "I'm not a retired clergyman who seeks to scatter religious inslraction while he builds up his worn-out frame in your balmy clime. I'm not an apostle of art who has consented to seek your benighted region, and educate your peo ple by parting with a few picture-books in part?. I'm not a temperance lectur er from Bangor who pays expenses by dispensing of literature on commission while he regenerates the rum-sucker. I'm not all of these — nor either. I'm an unmodified book-agent, with none of the corners rounded, running on cheek in pursuit of tin." "Here's candor at least," remarked the young man who writes the puffs of hardware stores. "Yes; candor at best. I'm not a gilded sham. You don't pick me up for a Prince in disguise or art or mo rality going incog. I do not fly the skull or crossbones hid behind a holi day flag till I've grappled and boarded you. I've got the regular old Death's head mailed to the mast, and I'm a pi rate from keel to center-board, and if you don't want that sort of company blow me out of the water." He had the whole force on deck at this point. "I've got no off-hand preamble to my bloody work. Ido not lead you through the flowery paths of ease to where I've got the trap sprung. Ido not beguile with anecdote, inspire with eloquence, soothe with persuasion or pique with local gossip. I was not di rected to you as a leader of culture or a person who'd be likely to buy. I won't show you a list of high-toned decoys who have put their names down to get rid of me and to draw you in # I don't show the work I'm selling, and I've never been able to learn the idiot's soliloquy that explains the pictures." Here he paused while the manager called for the cash-boy. "That's about the size of me and my business. The book's right here — fifty parts, 50 cents apart, plenty o' pictures and big type for the reading, written by somebody or other and means $10 clear money to me every time I work one off. Do you take, or do Igo ?" By this tune eleven copies of the first part were ordered, and the "eleven able" resumed their work, while the office boy indites this tribute to a man who ain't ashamed of his little racket. — Atlanta Constitution. NEWSPAPER PROPERTY IX XElf Newspaper property, ordinarily con sidered precarious, was never so sub stantial as now. The great papers are overcrowded with advertising, and cir culations are reported as increasing by every reputable publisher. The Her aid, always an anomaly, this year bids fair to exceed even itself, but its patron age is unique and peculiar and exclu sive, so that, while it always prints a triple sheet and generally a quadruple, this year it runs off quintuple and sex tnples, and on several occasions has amazed its patrons and disgusted the carriers by a septuple issue, of which from 110 to 119 columns are filled with small advertisements. **The Sun is a better property to-day than ever ; the Times is doing well; the Tribune has picked up greatly ; Truth is to be found on every news-stand; the Star beams prosperously, and the evening papers, most of which have job offices connected with them, are all in a satisfactory mon etary condition. ORASGE CULTURE IST SOUTHER* CALIFORXIA. The orange-tree grows all the time. That is to be thought of. It calls for the frequent cares which are its due as well in winter as in summer. Not a few persons of the invalid class who had looked upon its culture as a mere pas time have been broken down through tuis cau«e, and having taken up more land than they could manage. The les son of such cases is not to attempt too much, but to keep to the five or ten acres perhaps within one*3 personal ca pacity. Nor has it been politic to put everything into the single crop of oran ges. The smaller fruits — peaches, plums, and especially apricots — for can ning, which come into bearing quickly, are useful in tiding over the rather tedious period of waiting for the orange trees to mature, and are always in profitable demand. To start existence comfortably here the new-comer should have a capital of from $5,000 to $10,000. Peculiar energy, of coarse, will do with less. It requires about nine years to bring an orange-tree from the seed into full bearing. On the other hand, it is found that by deftly inserting an 'orange bud into a small shoot of lemon-tree slitted in an X shape, and setting this in the ground, a tree can be obtained which bears marketable fruit after the second year. The controversy rages as to w. ether it is worth while to do this, since the product is but a dwarf, like the dwarf pear-tree; and though it yields early it can never yield much, and its fruit does not stand shipment as well as that of the seedling. Against this it is maintained that it lives longer than the seedling, yields choicer varieties of fruit, more uniform in size and qual ity, and not subject to the singular form of destruction which sometimes orer takes the seedling, that of being dashed against its own thorns. — William Henry Bisliop, in Harper's Magazine. STAKING NEWSPAPERS. "There is nothing in the paper," said a young friend, dashing it to the floor. "No news at all ; it's miserable, stupid." Look again, my dear friend, at the care fully-printed columns; the different headings ; foreign, home and domestic news ; the wit and humor. Think, i'« -r a moment, when you gaze at it, how the editc? has tried to please you. There is probably no class of men more ovei worked than these ; no labor more wear ing than mental labor. It is so easy to cry out: "Nothing in the paper," for those who know little of the drudgery, the pains-taking, the hours of mentm wearinesji, the tedious compositions. It is a common saying, when a person is not exactly suited, to exclaim, "There is nothing in the paper." In a railroad car I once observed two gentle men purchase of the same edition of n paper. One soon handed his to a nei£h bor> exclaiming, " Here. Sam, have the morning paper ? There is nothing in it to-day; it is hardly worth reading.'" The other gentleman continued to be absorbed. Presently the man by his side asked him what interested him so much. "Everything ; the paper is well gotten up this morning ; the editorials are especially fine." This pioves that what pleases one does not suit the other. Be assured it is no child's play to edit and conduct a newspaper ; it is a very tedious, important, responsible position. and the man who manages a well-cirou lated, satisfactory newspaper has almost the wisdom of a Solomon. Let those who doubt take the editor's place for a while ; nothing more is needed for a grumbler. Our friend, when she is tempted to make such silly remarks, bad better pause to consider whether the fault be in the paper or her silly little head. — Philadelphia Herald. THE XA3IE OF FRELiyGUUYSEX Secretary of State Frelinghuysen is a nephew of Theodore Frelinghuysen, who ran for Vice President on the ticket with Henry Clay, and was a distin guished member of what was called the "singing wing of the Whig party." The name of Frelinghuysen was for some time a stumper to the campaign song writers — that was a singing cam paign — but was finally got over as fol lows : A rooster jkmped upon the fence, Just as the sun was risen, And slapped bis wings and crowed, he did, For Clay and Frelinghuysen. The Democrats found out that it also rhymed with "pizen" — a discovery which tney celebrated in verse. Mrs. Frelinghuysen was a daughter of George Griswold, a merchant prince of Now York, a man of cultivated literary tastes and the friend of Irving, N. P. Willis, and the men of letters of New York fifty years ago. UEy. BUTL.EK STUMPED. A story is told of Gen. Butler's sar castic retort upon a Massachusetts Judge, whom he was leasing for a ruling favorable to a cause lie was defending in court. The Judge got out of patienct at last, and somewhat testily exclaimed. " Mr. Butler, what do you think I sit here for?" The General quietbj shrugged his shoulder and replied: "The court has got me now." There are 6,580,693 colored people in the United States, - If you have any faith, give me, for heaven's sake, a share of it! Your doubts you may keep to yourself, for I have plenty of my own. — Goetlte. THE SVJEXCE OF ADTEr.TISIXG. One of the leading merchants of Cm. nnnati delivered an address to an asso •i;:tion of business men of that dh\ the lieme of which was the .science of ad vertising. Some of the suggestion*, de veloped from a long and successful' ex perience, are worthy ntteiui>>:i from all business men, and we give space to them. Ho says : "It is said to be a constant surprise to publishers that men of good busings ability and habits, who regularly speiid large sums ol money in the newspapt 1-3, give the subject so little thought and at tention, It is not at all uncommon lor a concern whose business in other re spects is carefully taken care of, with :> watchful economy practiced in allita de partments, almost neglecting its great ex pense in newspaper advertising, giving it only hurried and careless attention, or handing it over to some young clerk, al most anyone being thought good enough to take control of perhaps one of the largest expenses the house is sub jected to. Such negligence must ne«. s sarily entail great loss. Every dollar should be so laid out as to insure, :;t least, a fair 100 cents' worth of publicity > and to the end three points should be especially considered : "First — The nature of the thing ad vertised. "Second — The special public to which the advertisement may be advantageous ly addressed. "And third — The particular organs best calculated to reach that special public. "A further important consideration is. what is termed display, so that it shall catch the eye of the average reader. Another is the position your matter oc cupies in the newspaper. It does not make so much difference, as many sup pose, what page the advertisement ap pears on, as it does that it shall have special conspicuity on the page. "A further subject worthy of com ment is the wording of your advertise ment. As advertising costs money, it is important that it be condensed so that every costly word shall be made to count. To do this is an art; indeed, it is a fine art that but few possess. I be lieve there are men in almost every community, if they could only be sought out and their best endeavors obtained, who could take a given sum of money and so judiciously expend it as to pro duce almost startling results. Where as, the same amount, expended after the plan frequently pursued by the average merchant or manufacturer, might not produce any perceptible re sult whatever. " Touching the subject as to what 1 know absolutely as to the results ob tained from any special advertisement in any particular direction, in my own busi ness, I can say very little, and upon in quiry among the largest and most suc cessful advertisers with whom I have talked I get but little information on this point, particularizing special mediums or plans. They all unite, however, in eulogizing the general result, but say it is impossible to specify. Agreeing upon the important principles I have given you, the general experience testifies to the value of newspaper advertising as an enterprise. They acknowledge the re sults to be good, sometimes long de ferred — as cases are recorded in which vast profits have accrued, and were di rectly traceable to advertising, years after the announcement appeared; but. as a general thing, the good effect is re alized almost immediately. " This merchant's experience is in har mony with that of every one who ha 3 made the subject of advertising anything of a study ; it is, that newspaper adver tising is the only kind that promises cer tain and satisfactory returns. The sug gestions as to the study of advertising will not bo lost. With enterprising and educated business men advertising is as thoroughly studied and attended to as the state of the markets or the purchas ing of the kind and quality of supplies for their trade. SHE THOUGHT THE DOCTOR OI'GUT TO KNOW. A little Oil City girl was taken sick, and her parents called a doctor whom she did not likvj. "Are you sick, Grade?" asked too M. D., as he bent over his little patient. The little lady looked at him a mo ment in the utmost disdain, and then, in a tone of the deepest sarcasm, replied, as she turned her face from him : " Well, I should think you ought to know. Do you suppose lam lyirjg here in bed and taking your horrid old medi cine for the fun of it ?" The doctor wilted. THEY REPEXTED OF THEMSELV; S' A Pennsylvania grand jury recent'y indicted a man for stealing an umbrelia, and later, as they came out of the jury room to go home and observed tint il had come on to rain, they gazed at a Jot of umbrellas that stood in a rack and muttered softly to themselves, "What a fool a fool is I"— Boston Post. The present head of the Mormon church is building a mansion cc sting $100,000, and, when some of the saints asked where he got the funds, lie told them to shut up or prepare for hades. They don't even ha7e to -whitewash out in Utah. Said the Texas man to his Northern guest: "There isn't much fun going on this week; now, If you'd come a week ago, I could have taken you to three lynchings and a dance, but just now there isn't much sport on hand. How* ever, 11 you like, we ; ii go down iv tbd saloon and start a fight. I've no doubt the boys would go in to make it pleasant for a stranger." Texans are hospitable men.