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EVENINGS AT HOME.
Solomon tells us that there is time for all things ; a time to weep, and a time to laugh, to play and to dance. Surely, the tin?e to laugh, to play and to dance comes most appropriately in the long pleasant evening hours, when The cares that infest the day Fold up their tents like the Arabs And silently steal away. It is well for the women of the house hold to remember that the pleasant evenings at home are strong antidotes to the practice of looking for enjoyment abroad, and seeking for pleasure in by and forbidden places ; for relaxation and recreation will be indulged in somehow by most men, and happy are they who find in the home circle the diversion they need. A lively game, an interest ing book read aloud, or, in musical families, a new song to be practiced, will furnish pastime that will make an evening pass pleasantly. A little forethought during the day, a little pulling of wires that need not appear, will make the whole thing easy, and different ways and means may be provided for making the evening hours pass pleasantly, and a time to be looked forward to with pleasant anticipations. We visited once in a large family where it was the duty of each sister, in turn, to provide the evening's occupa tion, and there was a pleasant rivalry between them as to whose evening should be the most enjoyable. The brothers entered fully into the spirit of the simple home entertainments, and were as loth to be obliged to spend an evening away from home as their sisters and parents were to have them absent. Every one spoke of this family as an un commonly united one, for each and every member showed such a strong at tachment for the home to which each one contributed so much pleasure. POLAR EXPLORATIONS. For many years explorers Lave made attempts to penetrate to the far North, seeking the open Polar sea, which was believed to exist, and endeavoring to penetrate to the North pole. In 1850 au Arctic expedition was fitted out by Henry Grinneli, of New York, with Lieut. E. J. DeHaven as commander and Dr. Elisha Kent Kane as naturalist and surgeon. This is classed as the fh-st United States expedition of search ; it returned in 1851 without finding trace of Franklin. Dr. Kane in 1853 sailed from Boston in the Advance, with a company of seventeen men, among whom was Dr. Hayes; they encoun tered many dangers, and returned to • Boston, where they arrived Oct. 11, 1855. On May 29, 1860, the first expedition o Charles Francis Hall sailed from New London, Ct,, to search for Franklin, and returned without finding any trace of that navigator, after an absence Of two years. Dr. Hayes sailed from Bos ton, July 9, 1860, in the schooner Unit ed States, of 133 tons, with fourteen per sons in the party, not including him self ; he reached land in latitude 81 deg. 37 miii. Hail started from New Lon don, Ct., on his second trip, July 30, 1864, and returned in I860 ; and again he fitted out an expedition by a C< >n gressional appropriation, and went north to find the open Polar sea, but he died m Greenland, Nov. 8, 1871 ; his vessel was the Polaris, which sailed from New York June 2fl, 1871. On July 8. 1879, the steamer Jeannetle was fitted out at San Francisco by James Gordon Bennett, for an Arctic trip through Behring's straits, tke crew numbering thirty- two men. On June 19, 1878, Lieut. Fred Scwhatka, with a party of five, left New York in search of the remains of the Franklin party, which were found, and the party returned after an absence of over two years. A prop osition has been made by a prominent and aventurous English naval officer to go north as far as possible by vessel and sledges, and take balloons and with them seek the North pole. GETTING USED TO IT BY DEGREES. Somewhere about here, writes a South ern correspondent, lives a small farmer of such social habits that his coming home intoxicated was once no unusual thing. HLs wife urged him in vain to sign the pledge " Why, you see," he would say, " I'll sign it after a while, but I don't like to 1 ireak right off all at onee — it ain't whole some. The best way is to get used to a thing by degrees, you know." " Very well, old man," his helpmate W( uld rejoin ; " see now if you don't fall into a hole one of these days, where you cau't take care of yourself, and nobody near to help you out." Sure enough, as if to verify the proph ecy, as he returned home drunk one day, he fell into a shallow well, and, after a deal of useless scrambling, he shouted for the "light of his eyes " to come and help him out. '•Didn't I tell you so ?" said she, good soul, showing her cap frill over the edge of the parapet; " you've got into a hole at last, and it's only lucky I'm in hear ing, or you might have drowned. Well,'' she continued, after a pause, letting down the bucket, "take hold." And he came up, higher at each turn of the windlass, until the old lady's grasp slipped from the handle, down he went to the bd in. This, occurring more than once, made the temporary occupant oi the v. _L suspicious. "Look here," he screamed, in a fury, at the last splash, "you're doing that on purpose — I know you are !" " Well, now, I am," responded his old woman, tranquilly, while winding hiui up once more. "Do you not remember telling me that it's best to get used to & thing by degrees ? I'm afraid if I bring you right up of a sudden, you wouldn't find it wholesome." The old fellow could not help chuck ling at tiie application of his own prioci. pie, and protested that he would Bign the pledge on the instant, if she would lift him fairly out. This she did, and" packed him off to sign the pledge, wet as he was. A THRILLING INCIDENT RECALLED. Mrs. J. M. McTeer, who died at her home in Wytheville, Va. , not long ago, was the relict of CoL Piper, who gained a national fame through his perilous feat of climbing the Natural bridge in Rock bridge county, while a student at Wash ington College (now Washington and Lee University). During the summer of 1818 he and three other students ob tained permission of the President to spend a day from the college, and they went (about twelve miles) to the bridge. As soon as they arrived, in youthful glee they commenced the ascent of the pre cipitous side of the bridge, and cut figures and names upon the stone. Young Piper espied the name of Wash ington standing above the thousands of others, and started upward to write his name above that of the first President. He made a laborious ascent, and in scribed his name fifty feet above that of Washington, and continued upward, cutting his footholds with his knife, un til he stood 170 feet above his horrified companions, whose entreaties for his return had become more and more difficult for him to hear. From this point he turned for the first time and looked downward, to see that return was 0 >le, and the advance was almost impossible, since the knife that had carried him so far was worn nearly to the handle. Each moment was one of intense suspense to his companions, who from below watched for, and ex] liis destruction at any time. Painfully he worked up a few feet higher, until the knife was useless, and he hung seemingly upon the face of the precipice. In that position, between hope and fear, he lived what seemed years, until rescue came in the shape of a lasso, and he was drawn up to the top of the bridge, where he fainted from exhaustion. — Shcnan doah Herald. THE PYRAMIDS. Mr. G. W. French, of Philadelphia, presented some curious facts concerning the results of the astronomical and geo metrical investigations of the great Pyramid before a meeting of New York ministers. The chief purpose of the speaker was to prove that the Pyramid records the prophetic history of Judaism and Christianity. The Pyramid was built before idolatry made its way into the world, and, as was claimed, contains no symbol of false worship, and this confirmed the Scriptural knowledge of God held by Abimelech, King of Gesar, and of the Egyptian Pharaoh in the time of Abraham. According to Mr. French, the narrow passageway in the Pyramid symbolizes the voyage of life, which slopes downward to a dark hole beneath the earth's surface and upward to the King's chamber," where the temper ature stands unchangeably at 68 de grees. The horizontal passage symbol- | izes the departure of the Jews from | Egypt and also their rejection of the I Christ. Tuen the perpendicular ascent, ! the" overhanging wall, and a particular j step in the pyramidal sign language mean that the higher a man rises toward the divine and the heavenly the more -(3 .• V room there is for him, though the as cent may be difficult. The inscription on the Pyramid was taken by the lect urer to mean the unity of God and the fulfillment of certain prophecies in 1881 and in view of the events of last year he thought these symbols of the Pyramid were something more than mere coin cidence. The prophecies of Daniel con cerning the destruction of Jerusalem in seventy weeks and the 2,300 days were said to bring out 1881, and also the Apocalyptic vision of 1260 from the Mohammedan hegira in 621 give the same date. But the Pyramid shows a plus 1881, which includes part of the current year, so that great religious events may be looked for in this year of grace 1882. A symbol of the Messiah was also found in the capstone, as " the head of the corner." These theories of the symbolism of the Pyramid have often been discussed before, and they are very interesting, but general opinion, we believe, has concluded that they are simply an ingenious leading up of cer tain facts and figures to fit preconceived and already accepted ideas. Joi/lee had a dinner party, and, not withstanding his having a boil on his dexter hand, he insisted on taking the head of the table and carving the tur key. After he had been awkwardly jag ging away at the deceased bird his wife rather petulantly remarked: " The way you go to work at that, Mr. Jollie, one would think you were a carpenter." ' ' What tradesman could I better emu late with a hand-sore ?" was the quick reply. There had been a seeming coolness between the lovers. One day Emily's schoolmate ventured to refer to the sub ject, and asked her : " When did you see Charley last?" "Two weeks ago to night" " What was he doing ?" "Try ing to get over the fence." "Did he appear to be much agitated?" "So much so," replied Emily, "that it took all the strength of papa's new bulldog to hold him. " After Oliver Wendell Holmes lect. ured at Haverhill, Mass., he called on an old schoolmate who was dealing in stoves. " Did you ever attend ■ school V asked the poet. " Yaas." "Do you remember a boy named Oliver Wen dell Holmes ?" " Naw." " Ever heard the name?"' "Naw." The interview ended. -j.jlj.jli-ijx« ■ M'^-m. o r^3^^yt£j^-^%J w v^-.^w.jL^^}-rj^ *_ i>^_ t t. .a. i.aviV*.^ x i \jl • V : irxi'j.""xv~J.OOOr' STREET SCENES IN MADRID. The Madrilenos offer not a flat, but rather an extremely round, contradiction to this general and accepted idea of the national appearance. Slenderness is the exception with them. Their city is a forced flower in the midst of mountain lands, and the men themselves rejoice in a rotund and puffy look of success, which also partakes of the hot-house character. They are people of leisure, and, after their manner, of pleasure. How they swarm in their cafes, in the Gate of the Sun — where they keep up the Moorish custom of calling waiters by two claps of the hands — or on the one great thoroughfare, Calle de Alcala, ©r in the bull-ring of a Sunday ! They never "sleep, or, if they do, others take their places in the public resorts. The clamor of the streets, and even the snarl ing cry of the news- venders — "La Cor respondencia," or "El Democrata-a" — is kept up until the small hours ; and at 5 or 6 the restless stir begins again with the silver tinkling of fleet mule bells. There are no night-howling watchmen in Madrid ; but the custom of street-hawking is rampant in Spain ; and here, in addition to the newsman, we have the wail of the water-criers min istering to an unquenchable popular thirst, the lottery-ticket sellers, the wax match peddlers, and a dozen others. The favorite bird of the country is a kind of a lark called alondra, much hung in cages outside of the windows, whence they utter — with that monotonous recur- rence which seems a fixed principle of all things Spanish — a hard, piercing tripple note impossible to ignore. This loud, persistent "twit, twit-twit," re sembling at a distance the click of cas tinets, begins about daybreak, and gives a most discouraging notion of the Span ish musical ear. Of course there is home life and there is family affection in Madrid, but the stranger naturally does not see a great deal of these ; and then it may be doubt ed whether they really exist to the same extent as in most other civilized capitals. It becomes wearisome to make sallies upon the town, and day after day find so much of the population trying to di vert itself or killing time in the cafes and clubs. The feeling deepens that they resort to these for want of a suffi ciently-close interest in their homes More than that, they do not seem really to be amused. Even their language fails to express the amusement idea ; the most that anything can be for them, in the vernacular, is " entertaining." Still the choice of light diversion is varied enough. Opera flourishes in winter, in spring and summer the bull-fight ; thea ters are always in blast ; cocking-mains are kept up. Hitherto gambling has been another favorite pastime until checked by the authorities. Not con tent with all this, the Madrilenos seek in lottery shops that excitement which Americans derive from drinking-saloons. The brightly-lighted lottery agency oc curs as frequently as that other indica tion of disease, the apothecary's win dow, in American cities. People of all classes hover about them both by day and by night. Posters confront you with announcements of the Child Jesus Lottery, the lottery to aid the Asylum of Our Lady of the Assumption, or the National, which is drawn thrice a month, with a chief prize of $32,000, and some 400 other premiums. There are many small drawings beside constantly going on ; not a day passes, in fact, without your being solicited by wandering deal ers in these alluring chances at least half a dozen times. — George P. Lathrop, in Harper's Magazine. OF FEAR. Wi is said that the Emperor Charles the Fifth, reading an epitaph, " Here lies one who never knew fear," re marked, "then he never snuffed a can dle with his fingers." It is certainly a somewhat absurd, though a favorite claim for a popular hero, that " he never knew fear." No one possessing human nerves and brain could say this with truth. That a brave man never yields to the emotion may be true enough ; but to say that at no period of his life he ex perienced fear is simply impossible. As Lord Lytton expresses it : It eliamea man not to fee! man's mortal fear. It shames man only if tUat fear subdue. There is a story of a young recruit in the "Thirty Years' War' r going into action for the first time in his life in the highest spirits. "Look at Johann," re marked one of his comrades, as the troops were drawn up ready to charge, "he is full of jokes ; how brave he is." "Not at all," replied the veteran ad dressed; "he knows nothing of what is coming. You and I, old comrade, are far braver; we sit still on our horses though we are terribly afraid." Fear certainly is one of the most ir rational of the passions. It is not always excited by the presence of danger. Men who cau be cool and collected in cases of real peril will tremble at some fanciful alarm. The Duke of Schomberg could face an enemy with ready courage, but fled from a room if he saw a cat in it, A very brave French officer faulted at the sight of a mouse. The author of the "Turkish Spy" states that if he had a sword in his hand he would rather en counter a lion in the desert than be alone in a room with a spider. Many people have similar fanciful antipathies, which excite their fears in a manner real dan ger would be powerless to do. Fear of infection is a dread that embitters the lives of many sensitive people. There is a • legend of an Eastern dervish, who, knowing that the plague was about to visit a certain city, bargained with the disease that only a specified number of victims should fall. When twice the number perished the plague explained its apparent breach of contract by explaining : "Fear killed the rest." in ail times ot epidemics doc tors can tell similar tales. Dur ing the great plague of 1665-6 an unfortunate man died purely from fright ; a practical joker who met hitn in the street pretended to discover the fatal "spots" upon him, and the poof man went home and died, not of the dis ease, but of sheer terror. A long obitu ary list might be compiled of the victims of fear ; from the criminal in the middle ages, who, reprieved after he had laid his head on the block, was found to have died ere the ax could touch him, down to the poor nun mentioned by Horace Walpole, whose disreputable abbess lit erally "frightened her to death" by vis iting her at night and telling her she was dying. — London News. HE MISSED THAT Just before the Michigan Third In fantry entered upon the red-hot fight at Fair Oaks a private in one of the com panies stepped forward to his Captain and said : " Captain, are we going to sail in?" "I expect we are." "And some of us will get killed?" "Like as not." "Then I'd like to speak to the Chap lain a minute." "What for?" "I don't feel prepared to die, Cap tain." "But you can't leave your company. You must take your chances, whether you are prepared or not. That's what you enlisted for. " " Y'-e-s, I s'pose so, M drawled the man as he craned his neck to look for rebels down in the woods; "and I was just fool enough to diskiver that Uncle Sam didn't care a copper where I went to after I'd been shot out of his service ! You bet he doesn't get any more recruits from our town till that pint is settled !" THE HEN CONVENTION— .I FAJBLB, A fox who found hard picking hi a cer tain neighborhood one day visited a far mer's dog, and said : " I have lately undergone a change of heart, and I wish you to make known the fact to your master's fowls. They treat me as if I was a murderer, and it really hurts my feelings to see them hur ry into the coop at sunset. The farmer, too, seems to distrust me, for he has made the coop so tight that I cannot find a single knothole. What sort of a way is that to treat a fox, who is doing his best to earn an honest living ? " " I presume you would like to state your case to the fowls in person ?" ob served the dog. "That's it — that's the very idea," re plied the fox. "Say to them that I should like to meet them in convention under this tree to-morrow at noon. I will then explain my feelings toward them, and trust that the fox and the fowls will hereafter live in the greatest harmony. Indeed, the only difference between us is the fact that I have no wings, and they shouldn't hold me in suspicion on that account." The dog agreed to act as mediator, and at noon next Jay the fox rrept care fully through the weeds to the rendez vous and crouched down to await the coming of the fowls. There was pres ently heard a great whirr and clatter, and two-score hens' alighted in the branches of the tree over the fox. " The convention will now proceed to business," said an old hen, as she peered down upon the fox. "Just bo," grinned the fox. "Please come down and we will proceed." " Thanks ; but if it's all the same to you we'd rather you'd come up here," replied the hen. "But I can't fly." "And we are poor runners." The fox not being able to fly up, and the hens refusing to fly down, the for mer was skulking off, when he met the dog, who said : "My friend, the difference between undergoing a change of heart and desir ing to undergo a change of diet and po sition is so obscure that many people never stop to fish for it. As a fox you were respected for your cunning ; as a hypocrite even the old hens despise you." A STRANGE CUSTOM. The respectable women of Thibet al ways appear in public with their faces painted black, so as to disguise their charms and thus prevent frail men from the perils of too great admiration. Be fore going out of doors they invariably rub their faces over with a black glute nous varnish, something like currant jelly in appearance. The object being to render themselves as unattractive as possible, they daub this composition over every feature, so as to render their faces as unlike those of human beings as possible. Mr. Hue in his travels in the country ascertained that the singular custom had its origin in the decree of a Lama King, some 200 years ago. This King, being a man of austere habits, was desirous of checking the license which prevailed among the people, and which had even spread to the priests of the Buddhist monasteries to such an extent as to relax their discipline , issued an edict that no woman should appear in public otherwise than with her face daubed in the manner described. Severe temporal and spiritual penalties enforced the decree among them, even the terrible wrath of Buddha. Tradition says that women were perfectly resigned au<l obedient, and that, far from the edict giving rise to a petticoat rebellion, the practice was cheerfully adopted and has been faithfully observed down to ooru r own time. Now, it is considered a point of religious creed and evidence of a 6pirit of devotion, the women who daub their faces the most being the most re ligious. It is only in the large towns that women are seen in the streets with unpainted faces. DAMPEN TTIR A in. \Ve can hardly too alien saggi st the importance of providing n;np!e moisture in all rooms heated by stoves, lamace*, steam pipes or hot-water pipes. There are sound and scientific reasons for this, as well as in the results of practical ex perience. Every degree of heat added to the atmosphere in a room gives it a power of absorbing and secreting moist ure. The air in a room twenty by twen ty feet and ten feet high, at 32 degrees, holds, secretes about one and one-third pints of water. The same air heated at 70 degrees secretes upward of two quarts of water, ftud unless this is sup. plied it is hung, for more water, ab sorbs it from every accessible source, from the furniture, from our bodies, and especially from the breathing organs — the mouth, throat and lungs, leaving them dry and husky. Therefore, every time the air in the room is changed by the admission of fresh, cold air and heat ed to 70 degrees two quarts of water should be evaporated into the room. The strong objections some have to warm-air heaters have arisen mainly from this cause. la using furnace heat ers we always put into the hot-air cham ber extra water pans beside any that are supplied by the manufacturers, and take good care to always have them filled with water. In stove-heated rooms there should usually be an evaporating surface of water equal to one square foot for every twelve feet square of rioorine:, and more if the water is not on a hot place enough to keep it rapidly evapo rating. Plants in a room are mainly de stroyed, or have a sickly growth, be cause the warm air becomes too dry and sucks out the very juice of the plants. In a large room a large towel frequently wet and wrung so as not to drip, and hung over a chair back near the stove, will make a marked difference in the comfortable feeling and healthfulness of the atmosphere. SAYINGS OF BAYARD TAYLOR. "To have learned not to hurry is to have doubled one's capacity for work." " If you want to succeed as a newspa per correspondent, write just the things that your readers would look for and talk about if they were in your place, and be very careful about putting your opinions to your letters. People want the facts, and to be allowed to form their own opinions. You have all the world with you if you state simply facts; everybody has to agree with facts, whether they will or not." "An art critic, who hiiuself paints, judges everything from the standpoint of his own methods and prejudices. Still, an art critic should practically know enough about the technique of art to understand its difficulties ; he should paint just enough to be reckoned a clever amateur, but not enough to be reckoned a clever artist." "The English language is gradually assimilating all the vital words in all lan guages. It looks very much as if it was getting itself ready to be the universal language." THE AMATEUR TENOR. Who is this man ? This is an amateur singer. Isn't he too sweet for anything ? He is indeed too oppressively charm ing. Aren't his clothes lovely ? His clothes are indeed lovely, and he is a most gifted being. Can he sing well ? Oh, no ; not particularly well, but he tries to sing everything. Does he know anything about music. He knows all the musical terms, and can use them skillfully. Where does he sing ? Oh, he sings at amateur concerts, and is very much admired by all our young ladies. Is he a nice young man ? Oh, yes, he is a real nice young man, only he cannot sing. — New York Mus ical Score. A WONDERFUL COW. In view of the fact that there is at present a general revival of interest in everything pertaining to the dairy and its products, the following from an ex change will be interesting to butter ruakeßs : The Am: mm trotter is of recent ori gin, and, daring the lifetime of compara tively young rren now living, has re duced the record from 2:30 to about 2:10 per mile, or nearly twenty seconds, or, as our business men would say, over 8 per cent. This spirit of progress has not been confined to the breeding and training of roadster horses, but American breeders of dairy cattle have made equally as creditable a record ; and if breeders on the other side of the Atlantic have made careful tests that will compare with the following we should like to publish their records : The best yearly butter record is that of Eurotas 2,454, owned by A. B. Dar ling, of Ramsey. N. J. Daring the test of Eurotas 2,454, which occupied eleven months and six days (ending Oct, 15, 1880), she maje 778 pounds of but ter from 7,525 pounds of milk, averaging one pound of butter from less than ten pounds of milk. In the month of June, 1880, she made eighty-eight pounds of butter. The monthly record of Ehirotae 2,454 has been exceeded by Lady Mell second 1,795, owned by Charles F. Milk, of Springfield, 111. Lady Mell second 1,795 dropped her calf in March, and her milk \va^. kept separate, and the cream therefrom churned by itself, fron. the 15th day of April to the 15th day o! June (sixty-one days), during which period her cream produced 183 pounds of butter — ninety pounds of butter pel month of thirty Jays — twenty ,one pounds per week, or three pounds per | day. Lady Mell second 1,795 was l> years old when the test was made, and j gave during the trial an average ol en quarts of milk per day. The best weekly yields of the above-named cows have been exceeded by Jersey Belle of Scitnate 7,828, now dead. This cow has a well-authet>ticated record of twenty-five pounds and two ounces in one week. iiic tiiree cows above named have the best yearly, monthly and weekly butter record*, and we con fidently expect, at no late date, that the records will be improved. Perform ances, and not fancy points, are the essential matters that attract the atten tion of the practical Jersey breeder of the day, who first inquires as to the number of fourteen to twenty-pound cows in the pedigree of the sire or dam that he wishes to purchase. A GOOD REASON. They are two lovers — he 10 and she 8. It is a June evening, and they are sit ting with their arms around each other on the lower step of the front stoop of her father's house. Bill Tomkins, the boy next door, comes along about that time, sees them sitting there, gives an audible chuckle, and goes off to summon other boys to come and witness the spectacle. Then the adolescent Romeo turns to his Juliet and says with an ex pression of offended dignity : "Lizzie, I don't Tike Bill Tomkins." " Why ? " murmurs Lizzie. '"Cos," returns her lover, "he's so regardless." E. IiVI.WER LYTTON'S TEMPER. In his recently published "S< in • Ac counts of My Life and Writings. Archibald Alison says: D visit to Oxford an incid descriptive of Sir E. Bulwer Lytton'.i character that, as char • •■ t ■■> eminent a man, I cannot forbear men tioning it. It had been previously ar ranged that the persons who were to re ceive degrees the first day were to be those npon whom the honor was to lw bestowed rather in consideration of their rank or political position than their literary eminence, and accordingly the Duke of Cambridge, Lord Eglia ton, Mr. Secretary Walpole, Sir John Pakington, and others of the same suit were installed the first day, and the purely literary or scientific characters, such as Bulwer, Aytoun, Sir Roderick Murchison and myself, were put oft' to the second. It never entered into my head to take umbrage at this arrange ment, which in the circumstances. seemed proper, but it was otherwise with Sir Edward. In the evening, as Lady Alison and I were sitting at tea in our hotel, a message came request ing me to see him, which I immediately did, and the first thing he said was : "Well, Sir Archibald, what are you going to do ? lam off in the first train for London. I never wanted any of their degrees; it was their own do ing sending for me, and I am resolved not to submit to the slight now put on us. What! to think of postponing such men as you and me t<> a parcel I political drudges, who will never 1 ■ heard of five years after their deatli ! The thing is intolerable! I hope you are not going to submit to it." During tliis vehement harangue he was im patiently quaffing the fumes of a big Turkish pipe, the volumes of which came out between each fresh ebulition of wrath. Astounded at this extraor dinary indignation. I could only en deavour to elude and mollify a wrath evidently too violent to be encountered in front. "Do you not see," said I, "my dear Sir Edward, that the directors of the proceedings have paid us the highest compliment in postponing our installation to the second day? On the first, those were selected who were re commended for the most part by then rank or position, to-morrow those will come on who are chosen only for their merit." "Its all very well," answered he, "for cold-blooded historians to think so. but we of a lighter turn feel otherwise. I shall certainly go off to night."* By degrees, however, be be came mollified, and consented to re main to be installed next day, and go with us to Blenheim on the day follow ing. He wrote, however, a letter of re monstrance to Lord Derby on the oc casion ; and in the evening I received from his Lordship a very courteous note saying that he had borne no part in the arrangements for the ceremony. Mrs. Wallis Yates is the wife of an Austin merchant in failing circum stances. She is extremely thin, but, nevertheless, attends balls and parties in a very low-necked dress. She at tracted the attention of two young men at a ball not long since. One of them 6aid to the other: "Do you see how Mrs. Wallis Yates is dressed?" "Yes. her husband ought to tell her to do like he does in his business." "Cover up the deficiencies so that the public cannot see them?" — Texas Siftings. An excellent liniment for neuralgia is made of sassafras, oil of origanum and a half-ounce of tincture of capsi cum, with half a pint of alcohol. Soak nine yards of flannel in this mixture, wrap it around the head and then in sert the head in a haystack till death is to your relief. — Laramie Boom erang. In* England thirty swans are taken from the Thames and killed each year about Christmas time. The Queen has foi*r, the Prince of Wales two and the sisters, cousins and aunts of the royal family one each. Mrs. Smith, Back of the Church, En glanu, was the actual address of a letter found in an English postoffice. HAIR BALSAM! The best and most economical hair dres- X sing, and made from* materials thatarebeß-H leficial to the hair and B \;c:l?, Parker's Hair "Ba!san isVrsrAyes teemed everywhere a for its excellence and || superior cle.vi.'Lsrs. m I It Never Fails to Rasters the Youthful Caiar | and lustre to gray or faded hair, is elegantly per- 1 fumed and is warranted to remove dandruff and I itching of the scalp, & prevent falling of thrtoir. ■ 50c. »cd |1 tlzes, at dealers In dregs. g DRESSING CHILDREN. Notice the children in any town in the United States as they go to school daring the cold winter weather. The boys have on good woolen socks and boots thai reach half way to the knee, and over both good thick pantaloons. The girls wear shoes, generally light leather, and their legs are bare — have at least one thick ness of stockings — from ankle to knee. Rarely do the little darlings have a scarc ity of covering for the shoulders and body, and muffs to keep the hands warm, but the lower extremities are so thinly clad that, from ankle to knee, they had nearly as well be bare. Why is this ? There is but one answer — fashion — that senseless, murderous tyrant that has slain its millions of women and children in America. All mothers know of the evil of which we speak, and of the ne cessity of keeping the lower extremities warm in order to insure good circnlafioo. of the blood and a healthy body, but how many are there who would not rath er sacrifice their children's lives, or make shattered invalids, than to go one inch beyond what custom or fashion dictates? If mothers would dress their girls as sensibly and as comfortably as they do the boys a few years would witness a marked change for the better in regard to the health of women. The ittentioa of fathers as well as mothers, ought to be directed to this important m;.:ter. It is a lamentable fact that American women have the poorest health of any women in civilized countries. If they were dressed sensibly in childhood, and would, what older, wear good heavy shoes, not two sizes too small, the evil complained of would in a generation mainly disappear. AN ALLEGORY. A lawyer, an enthusiastic admirer of the late John J. Crittenden, of Kea tucky, contributes to the Springfield Republican an anecdote illustrating ids extraordinary power over a jury: Mr. Crittenden was engaged in de fending a man who had been indicted for a capital offense. After an elaborate and powerful defense, he closed his ef fort by the following striking and beau tiful allegory: "When God, in His eternal counsel, conceived the thought of man's eraatioß, He called to Him the three minisiem who wait constantly upon His throne — Justice, Truth and Mercy— and thus ad dressed them: ' Shall we make man?* " Then said Justice, 'Oh God i make him not, for he will trample upon Tfey laws.' Truth made answer also, 'Ok God ! make him not, for he will pollute Thy sanctuaries.' "But Mercy, dropping upon her knees, and looking up through her tears, exclaimed, 'Oh God ! make him. I will watch over him and surround him with my care through all the dark paths which he may have to tread.' Then God made man, and said to him, 'Oh man ? thou art the child of Mercy; go and deal with thy brother.'" The jury, when he finished, was in tears, and, against evidence and whai must have been their own convietiajw, brought in a speedy verdict of not guilty. THE OLD TET. "Judge, don't be hard on an old veV* pleaded a drunk who was arraigned a the Detroit Police Court. " Were you in the war ? " "I was, your Honor." " What regiment ? " "No regiment. I sloshed around bj myself. " "What army were you attached to?" "None of 'em." " Were you in any battles ? " "Heaps of 'em, your Honor." "Give me the name of any one bai tle." " Bunker Hill, "was the prompt replj. "Bunker Hill ! Why that battle vat fought over 100 years ago ! " exclaimed the court. " Of course she was, your Honor — of course she was. Do you think Yd 1m mean enough to ask you to go light cm me for having sloshed around in any «f these riots of the last fifty years ? * A skeptical hearer once said to a Baptist minister : " How do you recon cile the teachings of the Bible with the latest conclusions of science?" "1 haven't seen this morning's papers,* naively replied the minister. 4I What are the latest conclusions of modern eeience ? " The Patent Office has issued patent* on 591 different styles of spring-beds, and yet the number of men who com* in at midnight and pull off their boot* with the fire screen is on the increase. The pay of the German soldier ha* been raised to 2] cents per day, s*u«i fa* is now expected to throw both shon]<fe» out of joint in his ambition to secure * military gait. L* India the proportion oi non-Chris tians to Christians is 250 to 1. Oi tke 1,000,000 Christians, 750,000 are Romas Catholics. Last words of Fontenello : "I do Be* suffer, my friends, but I feel a eerferm difficulty in existing." Always there is a black spot in <rar 6unshine — it is the shadow of ourselves. .<