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.TOnN MOSGAITS DEATH. Moir tlir Confederate General Was Killed— Tin- Story of <tv Hye-Witiics.v. Dr. Game?, of Slater, Mo., is one ot tho three men who witnessed the killing of the confederate Gen. John Morgan. He has related a history of the affair to the Louisville Courier-Journal, and it is the ■first statement of an eye-witness that has ever been in print. ' It has been nearly nineteen years since that memorable incident occurred," he begaa "but the event* were so firmly impressed on my mind that I do not think I could ever forget the slightest particu lar, if I lived a thousand. It was on the evening of the 3d of September that Gen. Morgan established his headquarters in Greenville, Oar detachment of which I •was then adjutant, had ridden from Abing don that day, without anything to eat for either ourselves or horses. I do not re member how many men there were with as nt the time. The country was a very poor one, and they were sent out in squads wherever they could find forage. Gen. Morgan fixed his headquarters at the housa of a Mrs. William?, while I en camped with my detachment a short dis tance off. "I think the general had some premoni tion of danger from the start. When he rode up to Mr.-. William's house a woman, who wa3 ascertained to bo her daugher, was seen to ride away quickly. This awakened Li.- suspicions, aLd he inquired her object in thas leaving, of her mother, but was told that she had gone into tho country to tat watermelons at a friend's house. Mrs. Williams told this very frankly, but added, that her daughter had a husband in the federal army, which was lying encamped at Bull's gap, a distance of eighteen miles from Greenville, arid that he would probably h<Jve them to fight next day. She did not say that her daughter had gone to give them informa tion of air arrival, but declared that she would be back in a short time. As the evening wore oil the woman failed to re turn, and Gen. Morgan again questioned Mrs. Williams, but was told that her daughter's horse had probably been taken by cur troops, and with this explana tion he was forced to be satisfied. I ba lieve he thought an attack would probably be made on us the next day, and in view of this it 6eems a little remarkable that he should have sent the most of hia men out of town. This could not well be avoided, however, as there was nothing for either them or their horses to eat in Greenville, and he was too humane a man to be will ing to see his soldiers suffer for the pro visions which they could easily procure by scattering out in the surrounding country. My headquarters with the remnant of Col. Dick Morgan's detachment, of which I was in charge, were near Gen. Morgan's. There was a rumor that night that a federal spy was in town, and, in com pany with Lieut. Wade, I searched the whole place over till midnight, but was unable to find any one but tho citizens and our soldier.--. I returned to headquar ters with the intention of reporting to Gen. Morgan, shortly after 12 o'clock, but was told that he was in bed und asleep, so I did not disturb him. It had commenced to rain hard about that time, and contin ued pouring down till morning. That morning at daylight we had been ordered to move. It will be remembered that our command was the only one near town, the others being scattered around for several miles out in the country. Before we start ed I and Sergt. Maj. Lawrence Dickson took our hordes iv town to procure them some hay . We found some feed after a little trouble, and while ihe horses were eating strolled out to take a look at the place. Just then we heard shooting begin all over town. We ran out into the square and there saw six federal soldiers who had just come in eight. They halted, and called out to us to come to them. As we saw that we were overpowered, we started to do so, but as soen as we did they com menced firing. We returned the fire, and two of their men ran. leaving four stand ing ground. We continued our firmer un til our pistols were emptied, and then Dickinson suggested that as we had no more loads we had better surrender; but though we offered to do so they kept up the attack. We then retreated around a house, where they followed and accepted our surrender. All this happened in less time than it has taken to tell it. "After capturing us we marched to Gen. Morgan's headquarters, where the shooting was still going on. A few other prisoners were there, and we were all put together in charge of a guard. While we were standing there I saw Gen. Morgan come out from under the house, which was a little elevated off the ground. He was accompa- j nied by Lytton Johnson, then quite a young man. By this time the town was filled with blue coat?, and Capt. Wilcox, a federal officer, coming up with about twenty men, Gen. Morgan surrendered. As well as I remember, tnere was a fence between the place where I was standing and where the general was, but we were on ly a few yards apart. Capt. "Wilcox re mained talking a few minutes and then turned to leave. He was riding Gen. Mor gan's famous sorrel horse, which some of his men had jus : captured, and were jok ing him about having it at last in his possession. About fifteen minutes after he left, Serg. W. E. Campbell, with a squad of rive or six men, rode up in a swaggering, bravado manner, and roughly demanded to be told which was Gen. Mor gan. No ona of cur men made answer, but at that moment some old woman, whose name I ha^e never been able to learn, leaned out of a window, and point ing him out exclaimed, 'That's him.' '•I remember his appearance distinctly. He was in his shirt-sleeves, with his pants thrust into a pair of high-top boots, and i ■with a cap on his head. As Campbell rode up he leveled his gun, and Gen. Mor gan, seeing his action, exclaimed: 'Great Goe! Don't shoot mo; I'm a prisoner.' Campbell paid no attention to what he said, but fired immediately, the bullet striking him near the l^f c shoulder and ranging through his body to his right arm. He tottered on his feet an instant and then, exclaiming 'Oh, God!' fell forward on his face with scarcely a tremor. Our men, ■who were standing near, were too durn founded to otter a protest, but stood trans ited with horror." "Two or three of Campbell's men got down as soon as their leader fired, and picking up the body of his victim they tbre« it in front at him on the cantle of his saddle, where he gave two or three ga*ps and expired. This was fully twenty minutes after his surrender 10 Capt. Wil cox- They stood undecided what to do for a few seconds; and then a federal soldie r came up, who asked Campbell who he had there, and the scoundrel replied in a boast ing tone, that it was that d-n Morgan, j wuoin he had shot after his surrender.' '• Che impression of horror that was made upon 'me at that time I would not forget if I lived a thousand years. There we were utterly helpless, with the body of our beloved leader slain before our face, and surrounded by men who were gloat ing over the deed. At last one spoke up, ana asked Campbell why he had shot our general after hi* surrender. He replied that Gen. Gillium had told him that if he got Morgan he. van to put him where he could] get awaj^ nd h» understood by this that he wa9 to be killed. He added: *If yon don't dry up I will put you in the same' fix.' I think it was Dickinson who asked him thi3 question. Nothing more was said after this, and then a soldier came up who ordered Campbell to take the body to Gen. Gilliatn. Instead of doing so de cently and quietly, the brute took his mer, and, forcing us to follow, went flying around town displaying the body of ids victim until he received a second order, which he obeyed. We met Gilliam's com mand about two miles out of town, when Campbell took t!:o body by the hair, and, in sight of the whole stall, threw it off backward into the muddy road. As he did this Gilliam's adjutant general and Lieut. Col. Brownlow (a son of the notori ous Parson Brownlowj jumped down off th?ir horses and each took off one of the dead man's boots, while their command gave three cheers and a tiger, then riding off in high glee the;- left us with the body. As the officers rode by they would each gat down, and taking a lock of Morgan's hair or whiskers, would exult and swear that 'the d — d guerrilla chief had been captured at lust.' They rode on to town, leaving us under guard with tho body lying in the road. I forgot to say that they also called us horse-thieves and took oil our hat?, leaving us bare-headed. After awhile we were taken to town and kept till evening, j when we sent a request to Gen. Gilliam to allow ns to get the body. He agreed to this, and Capte. James Rogers and Harry Clay went out under guard with an ambu lance, and, securing the body, took it to Mrs. Williams', where they dressed it, and ! then came back to where. we were. All the I prisoners joined in and raised about s JO. which we gave to ;=n old countryman who j carried it to Mr.-. Morgan, at Abingdon. That was the i^st I saw of Gen. Morgan." \ '•What sort of a looking man was Camp- ! bell?" "He was rather handsome, with light hair and complexion, mil and heavily set. Ho belonged I afterward learned, to the 13th Tennessee federal cavalry, and I heard, while at Lexington last week, thit he is now a captain in the regular army." TIIELAXGTKY MEETING. Ths Tilly and Her Hubby Compare Kotes in a linsiness-Lilie Way. | New York Graphic] "Pray, do not ruffle my collar," said Mrs. Langtry two minutes after sha had met Mr. Langtry. "You are too boister ous. Remember, my dear, this is net what the Americans call 'business.' One would think from your affectionate dem onstrations that we had been separated a century." "I beg your pardon, my dear," said Mr. Langtry, hastily removing himself to :-.:i obscure corner. ''We will be sedate if j that Fuits you better. Let us talk what the Americans call 'business.' How di\l you leave the gentleman whom the American j papers call Jonuie, or rather Tommy — or perhaps — weii, never mind, yon know him : doubtless." "The dearest, dslightfulest Lid you ever saw, hubby," said Mrs. Langtry. rolling ; her eyes and clasping her hands. "You ! tceau Teddie. Such v pretty mustache! ; Such elegant clre-^! Such tine horses! j And he was so devoted — you could scarce ly believe it." 41 H'm!"' ooughed Mr. L-mgtry. ' ; I think j I cau. i'ou look so pretty th-it I should ! like to kiss you myself. Bat that's acting, and that's not business, of course. To re oar to the more important matter of busi ness, how much is lie worth, my dear?" '•Hubby, you distress me. There are j friendships that are purely unselfish. I j may say they tire Platonic aud that sort of j thing. Permit me to retire that I may j shed a few Platonic tears." "Not now," said Mr. Langtry, drawing j the beautiful and tender-hearted thing j down to liis level, previously arranging a | separate chair for the purpose. "Don ; t give way, I begof vo'.i. I doirt want to ! touch those finer feelings aud prodnue a j gush. I hate a scene as much as you do, I and the watering cart goes by the door every day. I subscribe, by the way, my full share of the unavoidable expense of it. Now, then, my dear.' 1 "At least allow me to apply my hand kerchief to my eyes a moment. There is no onion in it, hubby. I will be frank. This is business, too — it is the business of my ardent nature. Oh, Teddio — Teddie!'' •'Come now!'' suddenly interrupted Mr. Langtry. "Business is business. How much is he worth?" "I won't tell you," was the angry reply. "You ugly creature! You're the sordidest man I ever heard -f . Here I've been roam ing the high saas and the other continents for yonr sake all this time, suffering and toiling and slaving aud working my fin gers to ihe bone, and all you can say on my return has to do with the amount of filthy lucre I have accumulated. Just as if the soul had not been wrapped up in it. Just ns if the heart had nut been agitated. Just as if art were a thing of no considera tion except for the money it brings. Is it for this that lam a great actress? O iner cifnl heaven, that I should live to ste this day! I've a notion to scratch your eyes out." '•That's acting,', said Mr. Langtry calm ly extending his right hand the palm up ward. "Let us proceed to business. How much?" "He was bo sweet!"' Paid the sorrow stricken lady mnsingly. turning her large, tear-filled, blue-gray eyes out of doors and in the direction of the surrounding shrubbery and the newly-cut hay. "Aud ho followed me everywhere. He was my constant attendant. When I awoke in the morning there was Teddie in the outer room. When 1 retired at night it was to dream of Teddie, who had just adjourned to his own apartment. His horses were mine. His boats were mine. His servants were mine. His dinners were mine, and they were usually delicious, though I inut-t say I do not admire American cookery in every respect. His heart was mine. He was all mine, was Teddie. 0 Teddie — TeddieP '"i T ow muehf again inquired Mr. Langtry in a slightly louder voice, ;i dan gerous gleam in his eye, and his palm ex tended still further in her direction. "Business, Mrs. Langtry, business!*' "You needn't b9 ia such a deuced hur ry!"' was the quick reply of the lady. "What* the use of getting agitated like that? I should like to have my weep out and do things decently and in order." There was another flash in the threaten ing eyes, and the extended palm came still nearer. "Anybody might conquer me now," suddenly said the lady, sinking back, turning pale, brushing away her tears, and assuming a ok as of cue entirely engrossed in mathematics. ik l reckon that on the whole that he panned out But never mind about details, hubby. <:ro?s sju-i i-\ - take it, ab May I enquire how that is for hig darling," said the happy man, fold ing her to his breast, "truly I m that this is business. Sfou seem, if I may use another American expression, to have 'whooped 'er up lively.' Pardon me if I am prolix." There was a long pause, daring which the honeysuckles outside were moved by ilic passing bret.-.e, and the voice of a stray lamb cam-j softly into the wiudow, mingled with the perfume of a few June rc.-es that had accidentally been left over. The Suez canal compacy intend adopt ing tho Pintsoh Bystem for lighting the entrance to the canal: and with this vievr have ordered eight nine-foot special gas boujs, each to burn for two months, and three large holders tor storing gas an;l fill inf the bonys, together with a small gas works to be erected at Port Said. It is proposed to extend the system to other parts of the canal. Th£^ PAUL DAILY GLOBE. SAT URT; A ? MORNING AUGUST 25. U&Z. gloivlets. The British wheat crop promises badly. It is reported that pirate:, infest the Black Sea. A press association is to be formed at Chatanooga, The Lancaster w.Vcch compvny recently suspended, has resumed. The other day King Alfonso reviewed the garrison at Madrid The sanitary cordon at Alexandria, Egypt, is to be withdrawn. Straw lumber at its iiist trial as flooring in Chicago, proved a failure. The centennial of the incorporation of the city of Charleston was celebrated Aug. 13. Chinese sugar has appeared in San Francisco in a shipment of 1,000,000 pound*. A Vermont villager has his walk and front yard paved with headstone 3 from a cemetery. Commodore Selfridge is about to estab lish a gun-cotton factory at th 3 Newport torpedo station. Virulent foot and mouth disease has broken out among Canadian «!attle at Bristol, England. The leaders cf the Spanish revolt who took refuge in Portugal have besn shipped to France. A monument comme.'noriilive of the de fence of Paris was unveiled Aug. 13, at the French capital. The emperor of Austria and the king of Servia will have an interview in Hun gary in September. I Several American artists have been warded second-class medals at the Ma- uich ars exhibition. A firm of vinegar makers in London en tertained one hundred men at dinner in their 23 : n00 gallon vat. The chief prelates oi: the Roman catholic ohurcn in Europe and America will meet in Rome in November. Mayor White and r-ix ex-era commis sioners of Baltimore have been indicted for mal-f easance in office. A beet sugar refinery ia Portland has failed because it could not get beets even from $5,50 and $G a ton. Sirius which has been receding from the sun at the rate of twenty miles a second, is now moving towards it. Gold mines in the famous Wilderness, Spottsylvanie county. Virginia are being worked, it is stated with profit. The export of ostrich feathers from the C:iue last year was unpreccdentedly large. The prices obtained \~ere enormou.-. A inr.n failed to commit suicide at Mansfield, Massachusetts, and the next day a railroad train ran over him accidentally. A half dozen members of the British parliament are coming to attend the opeiiicg of the Northern Pacific railroad. It turns out that tny greater part of the Duchess of Edinburgh's trousseau was sold a few years ago as "the property of a lady of rank." Oanouchet is still held by Gov. Bprague, though he does not live there. Ail the honseliold goods have been moved, and the 1:0r..-e is vacMit. A sagacious newspaper Knight of the ' lead pencil, thinks it a great mistake not j to lave discovered Noah's Ark somewhere near an Americas summer resort. In Krapp'a great gun manufactory at i Essex, compressed carbonic acid is used for the manufacture of what ice and selt zer water may be required by the work- i men. i The Freedmen's aid society M. E. church last year mada the sum of $178,000. The divorced Senator Fair, now abroad is down for another marriage. The bride to be is the daughter of Prof. Dare, a Lon don expert in telegraphing. There is an Oxford graduate in the poor house at -iNewburyport, Mass., and he gives what is called "a very eloquent and critical lecture on English poetry, making judicious selections and showing wonder ful knowledge." A neii edition of the works of William H. Seward will soon be published in five volums. The first four volumes will be a reprint of the earlier edition, bat the fifth will be new matter, containing the almost unknown "Diplomatic History of the War," This, will be invaluable, and startling in many of its revelations. The Egyptian census has just been com- i pleted. The total population is given as 6,798,230. of whom 3.383,918 are males, and 3,404,312 female.-. Cairo has 3G5.108 inhabitants; Alexandria, with its suburbs, 208,775; Port Said, 15,560; Suez, 10,913; Tantah. 33,725: Damietta, 34,046; Ro?ettn, 10,071; Mensural., 26,674: Zagazig, 19,046. The police of Bridgeport resigned to get around the law which prevented their pay i being increased while in cfSce as the com missioners had voted. Then dummies were appointed and resigned, and the old board were reap polluted tit the new salary. They find now that no man over forty-live j is elgible, and so a number lose their places. Miss Fuller is a school teacher in Grand Marais, northern Michigan. She is also an admirable shot with the rifle, and, after school hour?, goes hunting in the neigh boring woods. The family with whom she boards are kept well supplied with game, large and small. She is the admi- ; ration of the country, and all the young : men are iv love with her. The falling off in the amount of wine j consumed in England is remarkable if ; placed in contrast with a steady increase, ! year after year, up to the j ear of grace 187G, when the consumption reached its highest total of about 18,500,000 gallons — j high-wine mark that deserves to be marked ! upon the door-posts of the treasury cham ber, as exceptionally high tides are j nzarked on river piers and bridges. From that d.ite a gradual decrease has set in, with the result of in the past year a con sumption of only .some 14,000.000 gallons. Petrotiitum, or petroleum jelly, ha s been confiscated in Bio de Janeiro by the custom house officials for dynamite. The agent of the Pennsylvania oil company was compelled to pay a heavy fine, al- though he protested that the goods were not explosive. He applied to the cusiom house inspector, and offered to prove that the article was purely a medicinal prepa ration, but the inspector declined to re turn the goods. The agent has been in structed to appeal to the emperor for re dress. Canada is to have a standing army of 1,250 men, by enlarging her two fisld bat iteries, forming three infantry companies, mounting a troop of cavalry, and increas ing the mounted police of the northwest. Of 40,000 men supposed to compose the militia, one-fourth are presentable on pa- i rade. The Canadian seem to bs getting | scared, says the Saginaw, Michigan Cour- j ier. A London weekly tells us that the Fecre tary of Mrs. Woodhull, ''candidate for the j Presidency of the United States for ISS4," ■ has circnlnted a printed call "from free ■ England, supported by English capital- i ists." She is "rendy with all her wonted i devotion to her country and to the cause; of humanity to take this work upon her- j self, and gives unreservedly all her j strength, enthusiasm, and all the wealth ! she has accumulated in England to the re sult of this election. The American visitor to Brighton is in variably disappointed, because he expects beauties and diversions that only the com bination of half a dozen metropolises and watering places would satisfy. The won derful thing about Brighton is its being such a substantially built city, with long lines of stono and brick residences rising | almost from the brink of the sea and ex tending inland over the hill of Surrey, j Tho resident population is now .250,000, 1 and this number is reinforced by an enor mous daily contingent of transient vis iiors. Tho Saturday to Monday iiiilnx is so greet that locomotion through the streets skirting tho sea is difficult. The London "Arrv" abounds, with his rude horse -pi* j. Mrs. Bancroft, the actress, visited re- j cently one of tho most celebrated dentists j in London, who seldom handles any but j aristocratic jaws, to have her teeth exam- i ined and operated on. Knowing the weak ness of the export, she asked what his charge was, bat he refused to say until he j had completed what was but an inspection i and some cleaning. This done, he said I his charge v?r.s §250. The artiste protested, ! and offered §100, which, she said, was all | the money she had with her. She added that she hml brought co much because t-he was told the charge would be exorbitant, and provided herself with a sum expected to meet the highest figure. She declares i that the fashionable dentist took the §100, j and, clappirjg his back to the door, would I not allow her to leave until she had signed j a note for the rest. The case is to be I heard in court. JERKED HEEF. A great trade in dried or jerked l>ecf j is being carried on in South America. I Thousands of tons are exported yearly from Montevideo, Bosario, and other parts of Uruguay and the Argentine Ee pnblic. In certain of the saladeros or I factories upward of 1,000 cattle are j killed daily in tlie season, one man be j ing usually the executioner of the I whole, and dispatching them by punc turing the spinal cord at the back of I the head. The animals are cut up and j the flesh piled in great heaps \rith lay i ers of salt, by semi-naked savages,half j Basque, half Indian, -svho have a pecul | iar knack of causing the flesh to detach i itself in flakes from the bone by | j it a stroke with their broad, cutlass-like i knives. Wonderful quickness and dcx ' terity are exhibited in every d I ment of the process, but tlie wholo ia j said to form one of the mo>t disgus i g l spectacles imaginable. Mixed with \ black beans and farina, or cassava meal, | jerked beef becomes the staple food of . the lower orders throughout, the coatsts i of South and Central Aiii^rf oa. PLAXTATIOX PHILOSOPHY. We never feel so mad arter avc shed tears. De cloud ain't nigh so dark arter de rain falls. Many a 'oman what won't wash her chillun' at home delights in washin' dishes at a church fair. De worst sort of boastfulness is showed by de man what thinks dat he can entertain you wid a long story. Dar is many a rule what won't work both ways. Whisky will produce a headache, but a headache won't produce whisky. No man should be looked on as a fool on account ob what he doan belebe, | but on account ob what he does ba : lebe. A too easiness ob conviction ter I strange ideas is caused a mighty heap job trouble in dis world. — Arkansaw I Traveler. CUTTING THE PRESIDENT'S TIIOC SERS. "They say" that the President's idio syncrasy is the cut of his trousers; that he had a tailor on from New York to cut him a pair, and was so please! with the immaculate fit of them that he made the man cut eight pairs of them before he left; also, that the material was first laid down on the floor, and then the President was laid down on it, and, when one side was cut, the tailor deftly flopped him over as if he had been a griddle cake, and cut the ether side. — New York World. Collisions at sea may be prevented by using balloons, says Mr. John H. Sclmltz, of Xew York, who proposes that all vessels be provided with bal loons of sufficient capacity to take a person high enough above the fog to see the balloons of other vessels in the vicinity, whose relative positions he can communicate to the ship's officer. "My hearers," began the lecturer, '"I trust — ." Before he could proceed farther a babel of voice? shouted: "We'll trade with you, mister; well trade with you. Never you fear that." The ignorant citizens thought he was going to open a grocery in town, and that he had risen to announce the fact. — Boston Transcript. A "COBHBB on onions" is being worked up, and it is thought that before long they will be so high that a fellow who calls on his best girl can leave his hat in the hall and settle himself for the avening without fear. — Even In j News, A compositor who was puzzling over one of Horace Greeiey's manuscripts sagely and savagely observed : "If Bel shazzar had seen this handwriting on i the wall he would have been more ter ; rifled than he was." FLEA BANTBIBB. A Green Bay horse is no uncommon j thing in Wisconsin. "No library is complete without it" j ! — the feather duster. ! i A sorxD suggestion — Never turn a | j deaf ear to a telephone. I ; "Do you see any grapes, Bob?'' "Yen. j but there is dogs." "Big dogs, Bob?" ! I "Yes, very big." "Then come along— j j these grapes are not ours, you know." "A fellow must sow his wild oata, I you know," exclaimed the old adoles- ! cent John. : 'Yes," replied Annie, "but one shouldn't begin sowing so soon after cradling." Never use slang. It may not always apply. Listen, as A. comes into B.s j room. Says B. : "How do you like my | i new shoes?"' A. — "Oh, they're fan- | I mense !"' j "Few lawyers," says an English ! writer, "have ever been invested with i the Order of the Garter." This shows ; I that that kind of garter was not intend- : I ed for "limbs of the law." — Boston ! Glohe. j A liquor-seller presented his bill ; to the executor of a deceased customer's ! estate, asking, "Do you wish my bill j sworn to ?" "No, " said the executor, j tho death of the deceased is sufficient I evidence that he had the liquor. ''I thought," remarked the victim? i after the dentist had dragged him ! around the room several times, ' - I I thought you advertised to extract teeth ! without pain?" "So I do, sir," replies the operator, blandly; '"it doesn't hurt me at all to yank 'em !" "My dear," said Mr. Jones to his wife, "you are mighty fiee to call every body a fool. Can you tell me what a fool looks like?" "Yes, I can, but I won't," she replied, angrily. "Why not, love ?" "Because you can look in the glass and see for yourself. That's the way I found out." — Cincinnati Drummer. A father has been complaining to a friend of the family of the conduct of his prodigal son. "You ought to reason with him seriously," says the friend of the family. "So I do ! Sol have, " says the father in despair, "but it has no ef fect. The young scoundrel will listen to nobody that isn't a fool like himself. I want you to go and talk with him!' Tee hair of a girl employed in an Eastern cotton mill was caught in tho machinery, torn off her head and ground into bits. But the girl didn't mind it much. She kept right en at ncr work simply remarking that it only cost $4, anyhow. This is one of the advantages of art over nature. — 2sorristown Her ald. An uninformed Irishman, healing tho Sphinx alluded to in company, wins pered to a friend : "Sphinx? "Who's he, now:" "A monster man." "O, a Mon ster man ? I thought he came from Connaught," replied the Irishman,' de termined not to seem totally unac quainted with the family. — English Tidbits. "Mr. Speaker," said an Arkansas legislator, "I am compelled to ask for a leave of absence, having just received a telegram stating that my son has killed a man." Just then another dispatch was handed to him, and after reading it he said: "The last dispatch, Mr. Speaker, makes a correction, stating that my son was the one who was killed. Go ahead with your rat killing. A leave of absence is unnecessary."- -Arkansaw Traveler. Where he weakens : We may live without love, and live without heart: We may live without hope, and live without art; Wo may live without friends, and live without books; But where is the man who can live without cooks? We may live without love; What is love but repining? We may live without hone; « What is hope but beguiling? We may live without friends; What are friends but deceiving? Cut civilized man cannot live without dininn. —From Lucille. TOSTAGE OX ynnsrAPEliS. There are now over 11,000 papers printed in the United States. In view of the fact that the press is an educa tional agent, it has been suggested that the Government could not do better than to allow publishers to send their papers free of postage and as many copies as they ar e Trilling to tax them selves with in order to secure new sub scribers, and the result will bo be neficent to the the Postofiice Departnien. and the public. In Canada publishers are allowed to ninil their editions free of any postal charges, because the authorities recognize the importance of newspapers as public educators, and wish to farther so beneficent an in stitution by every means in their power. An article in the Agent's Herald shows that the newspaper, beside being a great boon to the masses as an educator, is also a great factor in the matter of dollars and cents to the Postofuea Department. It can be safely said that a very largo proportion cf letters written are in reply to advertisements. An advertiser says he received in an swer to his advertisements no less than 240,000 letters in the course of a few months. The postage stamps upon these letters cost $7,200. Allowing these letters can be carried for 2 cents each, as the postal department admits, the profits to the postoffice from these advertisements was Frequently there are 1/;'H lei 'er^ sent in reply to an advertisement oi a single inch. The profit is in fact mere than 1 cent per letter, for. post il facilities having to be maintainc I at any cost, the publishing business make.-? business for the post> : :.;•.-_-. v.iijoti uOVlDUess WOtli-S eth r«n*« be conducted ac uousiaeraoie loss even at 3 cents per letter, or at a higher sum. It may reasonably be considered that the present cheap letter postage would not have been established but for the newspapers, which have created such constant use of the mails. The United States ought not to be behind Canada. The 10,000 or more advertisers in the United States are the greatest pro moters of postal business, but there is still room for an extension of advertis ing and the use of the mails for trans mitting light articles. — Galveston Neios. MONO LAKE, CAZ.IIO.i2f! J.. The density of the water is >..".> ble, being just the reverse <..' tii'ir. < I Lake Tahoe, in which the L*. ; of a drowned person never returns to the surface. A paper says that for bit terness and promiscuous meanness the waters of Lake Mono surpass those of the Dead Sea. They contain so much alkali that on a windy day the lake is a regular tub of soapsnus. The writer has seen a wall of lather five feet high aloiig the whole of that shore against \ the waves were beating. Occasionally the wind would take up a bunch of lather as big as a bushel basket and carry it several hundred feet inland. So buoyant are the waters of the lake that quite a party cf men may na\ igate on a raft mads of four or five dry cct tonwood poles. Oat in the lake are islands of rock (lava-like concretions), through which streams of water boil up. The water of these springs is like that of the lake, but in one place is a large spring of fresh water. This is near the northwest corner of the lake, and at a point where there is a depth of eight or ten feet of water. It is a sort of fountain. A column oi fresh water, some three feet in diameter, is projected upward with such force that it raises to the height of at least two feet above the level of the lake in tlie form of a mound or knoD. and makes a rippling noise that can be heard a considerable distance. But for the fact that this fountain l\v.s a depth of eight or ten feet to contend against, it would probably rise to a con eiderable height in the ah*. A SEW PIECE OF STRATEGY. David Swing, in the Alliance, tells how a bride reformed her profane hus band. She invited her bridesmaids, four in number, to a quiet dinner. As they knew of the profane habits of the groom, and also of his good qualities, they en tered gladly into the proposed comedy. The plan was that all these beautiful ■women should use profane words at the table, as the hot coffee or hot weather or slow servants might afford opportu nity. It was a bold plan, but it is said to have cured the wicked husband ; for ■when his elegant wife applied a profane term to the biscuit, and a fair guest made a like remark of the coffee, anil still another applied a profane expletive to the movements of a servant, the hus band absolutely cried "with remorse that he had ever used such an outrageous form of speech. Prof. Swing thinks that " "while such a cure cannot be jus tified, because it kills the ladies without curing the masculine offender, yet the story itself may serve to show that man as an animal that swears is a mournful curiosity." A. REASONABLE OFFER. Together they were looking over the paper. " Oh., my, how funny she said" What is it ?" he asked. Why here's an advertisement that says : 'No reasonable offer refused.'" 1 What's so odd about that ? " " Noth ing, nothing," she replied, trying to blush, " only those are exactly my sen timents." If that young man hadn't taken the hint and proposed right then and there she would have hated him. "San Francisco is clamoring for brass bands in churches." If the San Francisco churches are overcrowded, the average brass band would remedy the cvil — is, it would obviate the necessity of enlarging the church ; but if a larger attendance is desired, a comic opera should be sandwiched in the ser vice. Norrisiown Herald. The five Northwestern States which raise a surplus of com are the granary of the world. And in the near future they are destined to be the richest pari of the earth. Theodore Parker once said he re garded it as far more favorable to the prosperity of a country, the erection oi a saw-mill than the arrival of a painte] aou a, poet. CONTRACT WOBK. Sewer on EoMrt Street. Office of the Boakd of Pcruc Wobxs, ) < iiyof St. Paul, Minn , Aug. 24 ,1883. ) Sealed bids -will be received by the «rd of Public Works in and for tho corporation of th.? City of St. Paul, Minn., nt their oliice in said city until 12 in., -i) the 4th day of Septem ber, A. I). 1583, for the construction of a sewer on Robert street, fro;- Thirteenth ',13th) street to Universty avenue, in said city, together with the necessary catch-basins and manholes, according to plans and specifications on file in the office of said Board. A bond with at least two (2j sureties, in a run, of at least twenty (20) per cent, of the gross amount bid. must accompany each bid. The said Board reserves the right to reject anj or all bids. : i JOHN C. TERRY, Presidentpro tern. Official: R. L. Gosman, Clerk Board of I'ublio Works. 237-47 „ -Zp^l7,£5 > .£^iCyVjS- SILVER BELL BANJOS LYO!1 & HEALY, STATE Ma Kan&E St., CHICAGO, Will send prepaid to tiny address their Illustrated Price List of Xiatest Stylo 3ESn.xijos. Just the instrument for Picnics, Camping Parties, Sum mer Evening serenad etc. Now the rage in best scan ty. Prices S 3 and uDtarcis. A WORD TO THE Wr«E. DON'T BE SKEPTICAL. REASON TKACHE3 AND EXPERIENCE CONFIRMS THAT TAK TUXT'S SSXTZETR APERIENT IS AN IN VALUBLE REMEDY TOR ANY AND ALL DISOR DERS OF THE STOMACH, LIVER AND BOWELS. A TEASPOONFUL I" A CLASS OF WATER EVERY MORNING, KEFOP.E EATING, IS NOT ONLY EXTREMELY BENEFICIAL, BUT A PRO TECTION AGAINST DISEASE WHICH NO ONE CAN AFFORD TO DISREGARD. FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. EVENING SESSIONS Commence Monday, Sep. (7th. DAY SESSIONS Sep. 3d. Addres3 for circulars, Imciidmints of Arlkl-s of I corporation OF KXIFE FALLS LUMBER COMPANY. This i? to certify that at a meeting of the stock holders of Knife Falls Lumber Company (a corpo ration heretofore organized and acting under laws of the state of Minnesota,) held at two o'clock in the afternoon of August 'Sis*-, ISB3, at its oflioe, iv Saint Paul. Minnesota, at which all of tho stock holders were present in person or by proxy, and all . the stock of sr.id company was represented each of the following resolutions was voted on separately and each was adopted. All the stock of said com pany being voted therefor. First— Resolved, that article 111 of articles of in corporation of Knife Falls Lumber Company, be amended so as to read us follows: article in. The amount of capital stock of said corporation shall be five hundred thousand dollai s, which shall be paid in in such manner 113 the directors shall prescribe. • ' . Second— Resolved, that article IV of the articles of incorporation of thia company bo changed, so as to read as follows: ABTIOI4E IV. The highest amount of Indebtedness or liability to which said corporation shall, at any time bo sub ject, is the sum of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Resolved, that the incorporating articles of this company be so changed, that article VII shall read as follows: ARTICLE VII. The number of shares in the carital stock of said, corporation shall be ten thousand, and the amount thereof shall bo fifty dollars each. In testimony whereof, said corporation has caused this certificate to be signed by its president and secretary, and its corporate seal to be attached. ■ Dated August 21, 1853. . , KNIFE FALLS LUMBER COMPANY, ( Corporate ) By H. BsASDKKBtrsG, President. I Seal. J Ciias. A. Moore, Secretary. State of Minnesota, ) ; County of Ramsey. $ " H. Brandenburg and Charles A. Moore, being " eneli first duly sworn, doth each for himself say, : that said H. Brandenburg is the president, and said i Cnas. A. Moore is the secretary of Knife Falls ! Lumber Company, and that each has read the fore ; going certificate, and knows the contents thereof, . and thai tho same is true; and each affiant further deposes and says, that the amendments to the ar ticles of incorporation of said Knife Falls Lumber Company contained in said certificate, were adopted ; at a meeting of the stockholders of said corpora tion by a unanimous vote of all the shares and shareholders of said corporation as. in said certifi cate stated, and that said II Brandenburg has sub scribed sn d certificate a* Mich president, and said Chas. A. Moore has subscribed tho same as such secretary. Subscribed and sworn to before me, on this 22d day of August, A. D. 1«83. ( Notarial seal 1 CHAS. N. BELL, ■< Ramsey Co., > Notary Public, Ramsey Co., ( Minn. ) nu24-fri-2w - Minnesota. CONTRACT WOKK. Sewer in Cedar and Bluff Streets. Office of the Board of Public Wohks, ) City of St. Paul. Minn., August 22, 1883. ) Sealed bids will be received by the Board of Public works in and for tho corporation of the City of St. Paul, Minnesota, at their office in said city, until 2m. on the 3d day of September, A. D. 1883, for the construction of a sewer on Cedar street, from Thirteenth ( 13th) street to BiufE street, ther.co on Bluff street to Grant street, in said city, together with the necessary catch basins and manholes, according to plans and specifications on file in the oilioo of said Board. A bond with at least two (2) sureties, in a sum of at least twenty (20) per cent, of the gross amount bid must accompany each bid. Tho 6aid Board reserves the right to reject any or all bids. JOHN F. IIOYT, President pro tern. Official: B. L. Gorman, Clerk Board of Public Works. 235-245 CONTRACT WOEK. Grains Bedford id Decalar Streets. Office of the Board of Public Woehs, ) City of St. Paul, Minn., August 22, 1883. ) Sealed bids will be received by tho Koard of Public Works in and for the ration of the city of St. Papl, Minnesota, at their office in said city, until 12 m. on the 3d day of Septem ber, A. D. 18S3, fur the grading of Bedford street from Minnehaha street to North street, and Decatnx street from Bedford street to Treble street, in Paid city, using tho surplus material from Bedford street to fill D^catur street, according to plans and specifications on file in the office of, said Board. A bond with at least two (2) sureties, in a sum of at least twenty (20) per cent, of the gross amount bid must accompany each bid. The said Board reserves tha right to reject any I or all bids . JOHN F. IIOYT, President pro tern. Official: B. L. Gobmas, Clerk Board of Public Works. ' 235-245 CONTRACT WORK. Sewer till St. Clair Street. Orncs of the Board of Public Wohks, ) City as St, F.vex, Minn., Aug. 23, 1883. > Sealed bids will received by the Board of Public Works in and for the corporation of the city of St. Paul; Minnesota, at their office in said city until 12 m . ,on the 3d day of .September, A. D., ISB3, for the construction of a sewer on St. Clair street, from Seventh (7th) street, (for merly Fort Btreet) to Toronto avenue, in p;:id city, together with the r.eoe?sary catch basins and manholes, according to plans and specifications on file in the office of said Board. A bond with, at least two {'2) sureties, in a Bum of at least twenty (20) per cent, of tha gross amount bid must accompany each bid. The said Board reserves the right to reject any or all bids. JOHN F. IIOYT, President pro tern. Official: Ri L. Gobxax, rwie T?nnrrl <.f PnWic Work«. 235-245 JOflM WMENEii, DEALER ' IS Ofi.ea on Seroath street brld2* trrh foraer I Tweltt^ird Ecbm, Orders iß;«ivod byt» * 5