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Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, January 01, 1884, Image 5

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MEXICO'S DARK SIDE..
A Wabash Journalist's View of Mcx«
lean Ugliness and Igr.orr.ri33.
1 ,• A. Country Which :;<>:!i i>.:'- but a
, Sweeping Social Revolution Can
ate—A '.-.«riw
.

* p-i1 inau
I -on* ire - day bore Ktt.dymg th k ; Mexican faxing
imctus oi it. p. 13 surely tho m<:st complete
i of • - aturc,
or tho greate-it triumph of refined deviltry to
make the rich richer and the poor poorer,
now practiced, in Christendom. Don Juan
Zubiran, mayor of this city, explained it to
me at groat length; a id I then went to the
merchants^ and afterward read as much
of the printed law as I could get hold of.
sevb:t TAXATIONS.
It appears that thera are seven sorts of
taxation, and jet these enormous lauded
! estates are not assessed and taxei.. It is
all indirect, end consequently boars hardest
on the pooivst. Fai-sfc is a heavy duty at tho
frontier: then there is a sort of transfer tax
(which I can not explain) between the states,
ami a contribution for tho municipality.
Evei box or ale of good? which comes Into
Chihuahua cz.ly has to pay by weight; every
load of potatoes, beans, must pay.
Even a burro load of wood (about
eighty pounds) is taxed a tlaco for
l being sold in the city. Then thera are,
) in various cases, taxes on sales, and a great
variety of licenses. Besides the regular
derichos de : Itos for the municipality, there
is 8".50 chai ' on the half barrel for liquora
old, and otl. : special taxes too tedious to
mention. The .: ines aro taxed a real on each
mark ($5) of silver taken out. Last of all
there is a 2% per cent, tax on all earnings
and iralaries over §150 per year. Add to all
this the frightful laud monopoly, wretchedly
unscientific system of irrigation, bad roads,
and wo'.-ae transportation; and none need
wonder that the necessities of life are cruelly
high. ■ ' A
AN INFERIOR EACH.
O.i the Mexican dollar you will sea a rude
cameo of a buzzard swallowing a tape-worm.
To the Mexican imagination this typifies the
Aztec eagle of the north getting away with
the Chichimeo serpent of the south, or the
founding of the Aztec empire. But to my
mind it seems emblematic of the Spaniard at
tempting to swallow the Aztec, Toltec, etc.,
and being absorbed in the process. The par
ticular application here is that tha local char
acteristics of the present Mexicans depend
largely on the character of the Indians whom
the Spaniards found in that locality. It is
plain to my eye that these Mexicans are far
inferior to those in New Mexico, and travel
ers tell me that they aro even more inferior
to those of Mexico City and on the lower Itio
Grau- li 1.
HUMAN UGLINESS.
I have seen more cripples and beggars here
in three days, more infirm, withered and
dried-up people, more maimed and deformed
pitiable objects than can be seen in all the
cities of my own Hoosiar state. The rich are
so very rich that they have no ambition or
energ3; the poor so desperately poor that they
have 110 hope, and there is no middle class to
speak of. The daughters of the wealthy pass
their fives in complete vacuity; those of the
poor are *o poorly fed and dressed that they
nearly all look hunger bitten or undeveloped
There are no lyceums, debating clubs, dral
matic associations, public lectures, picnics, or
any athletic sports in which tho women can
join. They are as completely without good
shape as any set of women I ever saw. I
doubt if there are a dozen good forms in this
city, and as to legs and feetApollo, bles
us!—the stocking of an average Hoosiar girl
would go twice around for a Chihuahua
belle. There is nothing immodest in this
statement, for the mass of them dress so that
their deficiencies are to ba seen of all men.
A resident physician tells me that the
health of the higher-class women is wretch
euiy poor. Very few ot them can ever nurso
their own children* They usually marry at
15 to 17, and are care-worn at 25. This phy
sician attempted to introduce bicycles, but
the young ladies had neither strength to man
age nor persistence to master them. A few
hammocks were sold here; but the poor
creatures nearly broke their necks in getting
out of them. A really plump, vigorous,
healthy young woman of the wealthy classes
is a rarity, though mauy of them have a sort
of languid beauty. Ponder these things in
your heart, and the next time yon see the
"beautiful senoretta" swinging in voluptuous
langour (on the back of a cigar-box) in a
gorgeous hammock, with delicate wreaths of
smoke circling from her pretty rosebud lips,
you will know her for the painted humbug
she is. As to real beauty, that which satis
fies the heart of the natural man, I can find
you more of it in one class of Indiana high
school girls than in tho whole state of Chi
huahuaif this city is a fair specimen, and
they say it is.
TEE LAND.
The country between El Paso and Chihua
hua may be classed in three divisions. One
third is a complete desert, a dreary stretch of
shifting sand. It has a remarkable resem
blanc to that section of Utah lying just west
of the Great Salt lake. Another third is
good grazing land. The remainder has the
elements of fertility, and would produce
splendid crops if well irrigated. But it is
owned in vast tracts by the muy ricos, who
prefer things as they are. Fcr some seventy
five miles southward from El Paso, the
Mexican Central runs through the sandy
desert —a region wearying to the
ey<i and sense. This gradually yieLls to a
fine grazing country, and a little further on
appear a few tracts of cultivated land. On
the entire ride of 220 miles, perhaps one
thousand acres of farmed land are seen.
, But the route is the best in the world for a
| railroad—all the way through a broad valley
'or inclosed table-land, with ■ stretches of dead
level for miles at a time, and nowhere any
rise of land more rapid than a railroad grade.
The roaft started from the Rio Grande
nearly two years ago, and is now open for
passengers and freight to Ville Lerdo, state
of Durango. The construction division ex
tends forty-five miles farther, and is going on
at an average of two miles a day. f-f; f
VILLAINOUS SOLDIERY.
!A platoon of soldiers^ now go along as
guards on each train, and, I must say, that
thosa wdth us were the most black and vil
lainous looking cut-throats I ever saw. In
all nations of mixed blood the ruling race is
the whitest, and in the Mexican, as in the
Turkish army, the officers are nearly white,
while the privates are nearly black. The
lieutenant commanding this platoon spoka
French fluently, but no English, and I but a
•tew words of Spanish, so with him and the
soldiers I enjoyed a delightful polyglot in
terview, v The soldiers in Chihuahua
are, in the main, composed of threa
classes—criminals on leave, vagrants, and
bravoes who have "come in" under a procla
mation of amnesty. The discipline is horrible.
The officers knock them down or whack them
over the head with the sword; and when on
a distant march wear pistols ready capped to
guard against assassination. In this city the
troops act as a state police, and often rob
prisoners on the way, to jaiL Their com
missariat j ~ ~~/A& Here the private is al
lowed a ' real per j day to buy his own pro
visions. But the lot of prisoners here, aside
from insufficient food, does riot strike me as
very hard— jj is, f compared with the
average lot. ?
BUILT LIKE. JAILS.
The jail looks just . like any other building
in this city, or, to * be more exact, all the
dwellings are built like peimteritiaries. There
is first a thick stone wall on i the outside, oc
eaiuLsija.ilv with . barred windows ODeains on
wtc serves, out no aoors; tne wiatn or a nam
inside of that is another stone wail around an
interior square, called the piueita. Into this
there is usually but one entrance —through a
heavy puerta, under a stone arch, which ad
mits one to the plucita, upon which doors and
windows open from all the rooms. I am now
describing the hotel where I ara a convict—1
would say, a guest. The floor of my "cell"
is stone, with a patch of carpet in the centre;
the walls of stone, but cleanly whitewashed.
My door is double, like a barn-door; from
one side an enormous iron bar crosses over
and a hasp with a slat in it enters the lock en
the other side. I could brain a bulldog with
tha key. open from all the rooms. I am now
scribing tho hotel where I am a convict—1
mid say, a gncsfc The floor of my "cell"
rton ;, with a patch of carpet in the centre;
s walls of .stone, but cleanly whitewashed,
fdoor i3 double, like a barn-door; from
B side an enormous iron bar crosses over
d a hasp with a slat in it caters the lock en
:de. I could brain a bulldog with
Not '.me room in fifty in the city has a stove
cr fireplace, though the nights now are quite
cool; and genuine old fashioned Hoosier com
fort is not to be had in the winter. The
upper part of my door ha? a little swing
door, covering a heavy iron grating, and, to
save my soul, I can not shako off the im
pression that I am writing in a jail, though I
am conscious cf having committed no crime,
unle.^3 it be the writing of some unpleasant
truth. All this shows what kind of a com
munity this has once been—a community of
very questionable characters. Tbey say
thare has been a great improvement; lately. I
bono so. this has once bean—a community of
questionable characters. Toey say
; has been a great improvement lately. I
THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS.
Ono sign of improvement is the sixteen
public schools supported by the city, several
of which I visited yesterday. The pupils all
study aloud, and in the boys' school the
uproar is sometimes terrific. In the girls'
school is seldom amounts to mora than a
1 it seldom amounts to more than a
pleasant, musical hum. The sexes are
educated separately, and as soon as the girls
get old enough to know wrong from right
they are taken home or sent to a convent or
private school. I told one of the brightest I
girls, the oldest one in the school (perhaps 12 I
years), that my own girls went to school with ,
boys, recited in the same classes, and sat in ]
the same rooms, and would do so till of age. j
j The nina uttered a musical little screech, j
half laugh and half cry, and exclaimed: ;
I "O Diosl qui hombre ustel" ("O Lord! ;
| what a man you are!'") The same statement '■
to the boys simply elicited a- broad stare, j
which I think indicated unbelief. j
From the schools I went to the mayor, j
thence to the judge, and closed the day with i
an hour's attendance on the legislature, now i
in session. The speaker was delivering some- '
thing in official Spanish—too learned for me '
—and, as Artemus Ward said of Grisi's sing- '
ing, '"He may 'a bin a cussin' the aujience all i
in a heap for all I know ed." I have put in j
my tame in this republic industriously, and ;
expect to be out of it before midnight. I ;
have interviewed almost everybody from
mayor to mule-driver, and ought to have
many valuable conclusions; but I haven't.
A SWEEPING REVOLUTION.
On so short a stay I should speak modestly;
but one thing is plain to me; Mexico needs ,
several more revolutions. This present calm j
is deceitful. I cannot believe it will last. !
What Mexico needs above all things is one vast
convulsive social upheavala sweeping revo- !
lution like that which convulsed France,.!
burying all the traditions of the past in one ,
awful gulf which separates Bourbon from Re- \
publican as completely rz.: though 1,000 years :
had intervened. The rich here are too rich; i
the poor too miserably poor. The revolution ]
must sweep away the last vestige of the i
political power of the church, must break up
these enormous landed estates, must grind ,
down these immense private fortunes, must !
abolish caste and indirect taxation; it must i
do away with debt-peonage and upheave the j
social system from the foundation. In short, j
it must grind up all this ill-assorted human ]
material into one mass of equal particles, ]
with an even start, out of which may come I
the new development and perhaps a new j
hope. . 7 j
Whisky for Knee Horses. j
[Demorest's Monthly.-] j
At the race course it is now the practice ,
to give whisky to some horses. It seems j
they can win races with that stimulus when !
without it they would fail. An old horse j
named Baby beat several fine fields of animals *
after powerful potations of liquor. Although I
still very popular, race courses are becoming i
demoralized. Their first supporters in this j
country were people who called themselves j I
gentlemen, but now tho principal owners of 1
horses run at the race meetings are profes- |
sional gamblers, book-makers and other low j
fellows. Even jockeys have their entries at 1
every meeting. The long races in vogue in |
former years, which were a real test of the
bottom and spaed of horses, have been !
replaced by numerous short dashes, for the j
benefit of the pool rooms, but which seriously j
deteriorate the stamina of tho horses which
engage in them. The practice of giving
whisky to horses, which has been begun, will
in the end destroy tho turf physically as well j
as morally. 7 '
Don't jLenil Yonr Cigar.
Tho Pittsburg Dispatch says that a man I
of letters was smoking and chatting with a i
physician on a Hudson river ferryboat, when ;
a stranger stepped up and asked for a light. I
"Let me give you a match," replied the man I
of letters, adding, after his petitioner had j
withdrawn: "I don't know how you feel !
about it, doctor, but for my part I very much j
dislike to put the end of my cigar back into j
my mouth after it has been' fingered by Tom, !
Dick and Harry. I always carry matches !
with me, and make it a point to offer ono of '■
them instead." "And quite right you are," j
said the doctor; "I believa that some of the i
worst diseases can be conveyed by one man ;
to another through the contact of his fingers .
with a borrowed cigar. I personally know of. i
a case where varioloid was transmitted by j
means of a §2 bill, and I firmly believe that ;
varioloid and things much worse can pass !
from a man's fingers into a cigar, and thence ■
into the smoker of it." 7r'i' % f
• . , !
iieu, Sherman's Christening. i
[Exchange.] - I
An cid friend of Gen. Sherman tells a Bos- ■
ton Traveler correspondent that Sherman was I
not christened until after he was 18 years of !
age. The clergyman objected at the cere- j
mony to christen him William Tecumseh, on ,
the ground that the second nama was a |
heathen one. The future general of the army I
then said that the name which his father had j
given him was good enough for him, and if ;
the minister didn't care to go en with the j
ceremony he would try to struggle along 1
through life unchristened. The clergyman i
relented. I
I
__
After Another Bonanza.
[Chicago Herald.] i
Senator John Jones, as a last effort to j
recoup ' his fallen fortunes, has leased that ;
portion of the celebrated "Bonanza" mines ,'
from the 1,550 level upward. The "bonanza" !
which turned out over $100,000,000 of gold ;
and silver was encountered at a depth of '
1,550 feet, aud Jones believes that valuable !
ore deposits exist above that level. His iersse
extends three years, and he will explore «..» j
ground, as miners say, for all it is worth. - j
When Garfield was Sick.
[Crawford in Chicago News.] j
I asked Dr.' Bliss if Gen. Garfield had trans- j
acted any business at all when he was sick. - | •
"He took his pen in his hand exactly three '
times," said tha doctor. "He once wrote me j
an autograph upon a little pad. Upon an- j
other occasion he signed an extradition paper i
for Mr. Blaine. The brief letter which he
wrote to his mother was the only continuous
bit of writing done by " him while he was I
sick." • - ■ "■ '".•- ;." ' '•"•-. 7 '
ir - Size Xot All-Sufficient.
[Exchange.] I
A young negro bootblack observed a neigh- !•
bor poring wisely over a newspaper, where- !
upon he addressed him thus: f "Julius, what {
are you , looking at ' that paper for? You j
can't read." "Go away," cried the other !
indignantly; "guess I can read; I's big eriuff 7
for that.'!; "Bigfenuffi" retorted ' the,- other
scornfully, "dat ain't nuffiri. A cow's big
?uuff to ketch mice; but she can't." .
THE ST. PAUL DAILY GLOBE, TUESDAY MORNING, JANUARY 1. 1884.
I TRUTH AND TRADE.
i
i
A "Worldly.Wise View of Every-Day
Business Methods,
; In Which It Is Made to Appear that
Truthfulness Lacks Something
of Beins the Best
Policy.
[New York Times.]
"If a storekeeper wants to starve in bust
: ness, let him tell the truth." This sentence,
j overheard as it''dropped from the lips of a
man apparently well versed in business meth
i od?, led to an attempt to discover to what
I extent the business cole of honesty lias been
I deliberately adopted ameng shop-keepers,
; Tho inquirer met at length, however, a phi
• Iosopher with whom he had previously had a
> slight acquaintance. The question being put,
I the reply was a lecture.
"I believe," said the philosopher, who was
, rather a handsome man, about 30 years
i of age, well-dressed and wholesome looking,
j "that you have asked the right question of
the fatal man. I had occasion a few years
. ago to look up the practical ethics of various
, branches of business. I believe that business
| men are, at heart and in intention, honest.
! The customer, however, frequently drives him
; to practices in which the suppression of un
; pleasant and unprofitable fact figures to some
; extent. In following these practices the
i shopkeeper does not lie outright. Ho could
j make affidavit to that. But his experience is
, like that of a man who ha.-; been often on the
; witness stand, and knows that if he attempts
I to tell the whole truth both sides may be
I damaged. The customer is nearly always a
{ man uninformed and prejudiced. He is un
; prepared to form a correct judgment of what
I he is purchasing. He may believe that in
; buying he lias only to see for himself, order,
i pay and receive. Or he may deem it best to
[ leave his order with the shopkeeper and
j trust to the latter'3 honesty to give him a
j fair article at a fail- price. If, with the first
; described customer, the shopkeeper let drop
i some unfortunate word in describing the
I good?, exciting the customer's prejudices^ ho
j might lesa the opportunity of making a sale.
; He therefore adopts a Fabian policy in deal
j iag with him, and withholds all information.
I "With the second his policy is to deliver an
! article sufficiently good to secure his trade in
> future. In cithei case tho shopkeeper's brain
1 is busy calculating the profits, which has a
J tendency to make him put the highest figure
j possible on his goods. You know, of course,
I that in almost any store you enter you buy a
j piece of goods at a certain price, while beside
i it lies another equally good, but not quite so
7 fashionable, marked at a price perhaps only
j half or three-quarters as much as the first
' piece. Fashion, tho shopkeeper will tell you
: took a fancy to the design of tho first piece;
! it has become scarce, and consequently, dear,
: the seller charging for it all he can get. Now,
! with human fallibility, the shopkeeper may
i fall into the belief that pretty much all his
! goods are fashionable am I scarce when a cus
; tomer appears who is able and willing to pay
j a good price for what ho orders,°but when a
; bargain-driver is facing the shopkeeper he
! may have his doubts as to the scarcity aud
:: dearness of goods elsewhere, and let them go ;
; at a price less than ho charged tho other cos*
! tomer. You see, he thus transfers to his shop
' the methods of a board of trade, apparent
j supply and demand governing transactions.
"The tailor who measures you for a suit of
: clothes may tell yob, ha is too busy, that you
f must wait a weak or two before it can be
' made. At tha end of the time agreed upon
i you call upon him and he brings out from a
' drawer a suit made from the cloth you
i ordered. You think it a handsome, well
i made suit; you try it ou and it is a perfect fit
,: you pay your cash and go away satisfied.
| Your folks at home congratulate you on ;
i your nice clothes, you admire them and your
| figure in them in the glass, and then you go'
» on wearing them for whatever time you
I usually wear a suit, when you put them off
! for good, knowing that you got your money's
I worth from that tailor. But what would be i
i your feelings toward that tailor if you were j
i made aware of soma little facts that ha with- ;
held from you? The suit of clothes was an- !
J other man's misfit, it was made a month bo
i fore your measure was taken, and it was '
5 lying in a drawer in the shop when you were <
waiting for it to be made. Moreover, when ;
i yon expressed to him your pleasure with his i
promptness in delivering them, and with his !
artistic skill in making them, his modest atti i
tude and his professions of honest work were !
j a part of the sham of his business. .»; j
j "You perceive how far reaching is honesty, ;
i do you not? Well, if you attempt to handle
I any one of the various classes of goods which j
I are sold in our city shops you will find that :
) the public is not educated up to a point wl&ch i
j will permit the shopkeeper to tell all he '■
■ knows about his stoc',... If a shopkeeper told I
I damaging facts about his own goods, and yet 1
I could assert with truth that they were as good i
! s his neighbors', his customers would want '
! him to take something off his prices. Igno- 1
i ranee is bliss with . tho average customer, j
! Take coffee. You buy it ready ground. You !
, don't know whether it is half coffee or three
[ quarters something else. You don't know !
; whether the green coffee-beans were not
; somewhat damaged by water. If you '
; like the taste of it, you buy it and think it
' good coffee. But if told by your grocer that i
, it was damaged or adulterated, you might be 1
! uneasy. -7.. 7;
i "Take cigars. What smoker can :
I gauge tha value of each of half a dozen ,
; cigars of different prices, ranging, say, from
1 15 to SO cents? Yet the man who always i
I smokes a 25-cent. cigar would be made un-
I happy if told that a bunch of 20-cent cigars I
• had been worked off on him. Take shoes. I
1 There are certain seams in shoes which to the |
i knowing bring down their value, as they are j
■ not regular made. Yet they will ;
i wear well enough, and if you don't j
! know where to look for these seams j
i you will rest contentedly in the belief that !
I you wear first-class shoes. Then there is the j
! special last idea. Many a shoemaker is en- j
I abled by a customer's belief that his feet are •
• of a shape entirely different from the com- j
'- mon run to charge a high price for shoes I
' made for him on his own lasts, whereas the !
! shoemaker knows that very probably his cus- j
I tomer would find as good a fit and as strong i
| a shoe at a ftady made shoe store without ',
j difficulty. But no end of people, my friend, !
i love to bo humbugged in the direction of •!
I their vanities. Take drug storesto say ]
• nothing of the veil which druggists draw i
; over their dealings by the use*f Latin labels, :
1 or of the prices they charge for water and i
! sugar when put up in a nice little bottle; 1
; think of the drug stores which are now j
' palaces.of beauty, but which would be almost ]
I as naked as assorted lots of Venuses if '
I stripped of them dummy jars and bottles, j
i Yet the public is to blame for the encourage- :
! merit of such shams. The public, I say, can I
1 not in its present stage off development with- J
! stand such a shock as honesty in business -j
' would give it. The individual . in business !
j who intends to tell the whole truth always, !
! plain and unvarnished, and who intends to ?
j' pursue a course of the strictest honesty, sets j
; himself down in a maze, which the brevity of J
' life forbids his following to the exit." • ~
Tiny Travelers to America.
[New York Journal]
.'■'Come here a moment," said Inspector •
t Elchler, of Castle. Garden, to a Journal re- j
j porter. yesterday. -; reporter followed, i
j and Mr. Elchler held up a little German boy j
| about 2 years old. ' "This ". is the youngest j
j chap I have ever seen who came across alone, |
! It is a common thing for parents to come j
! d>>,this country arid:go west, and then after j
I they make a little home * for themselves to '
f send home for their children. There was a '
; German and his wife who came over about j
five years ago. A friend of mine in Europe !
tniri than to find ma and I would sat them
I right. ■ wen, when tney came nere tney tola
, me they had left three iittie children behind
! with their grandparents, and wanted to
; know if I would look out for them on their
; arrival. • •
j "I promised. A year after a little fellow
i about 5 years old came up to me, gave his
; name, and said his parents had told him to
; look out for me."
j " 'Where are your brothers'' I ashed.
\ '"My father could net afford to send for
. us aD at once, so we will come one by one.'
j "Two years and .a half after the arrival of
J the parents the whole i'amiiy ore united,
] and it seemed strange to me to see these little
;'fellows going alone so confidingly to meet
. the fath?r. The father is now mayor of one
f of our western towns.
I "What is the average age w f the little ones
! who come alone?'
\ "Well, about '> years, although we have
i quite a number ccming here alone who are
;' between 3 and 5, but this little fellow''—re- '
{ ferring to the boy he first drew the reporter's :
i attention to— the youngest I have ever ;
I seen. 777; 1
i "It would be better for the children to come \
' unaccompanied, for the sea captains are ten
! der-hearted. When they find children on
i board they take them to their own cabins
' and give them the best to eat and drink.
! A curly-headed girl came from Sweden, and
! she had one of those little flutes which she
; used to play on board for the amusement of
j the passengers. There happened to be a lot
i opera singers on board and the child amuse
1 them so much that they gave a concert for
! her benefit the night before they arrived
' here, and the little girl found herself the
| happy possessor of .*112." .
; The httle fellow, whom the inspector had
I been holding by the hand during the col
l loquy now began to cry for his dinner and
j the kind-hearted man started for a res
taurant.
EVERY-DAY HEROEa
[Nathan D. Urner.]
Oh, yes; they are all around us, :
And in every walk in life;
i Heroes the best, that stand the test,
! In many an unmarked strife;
Heroes of home, of shop, of farm,
j And at duty's call alone,
| Though unaware of honor's share,
! And by noisy flame unblown.
I A iAOK-KITIPE GENIUS.
! Mow an Artist in Whittling; -Wakes
the World Wiser and Belter.
j [St. Louis Post-Dispatch.]
j William Yohe claims to be the champion
, jack-knife artist of the day, although he was
• born in St. Louis and not Yankeedom. A
J Post-Dispatch reporter heard of this profes
! sional lacerator of pine sticks and sought him
; out. It was not until the inside of an unused
; Methodist church at Kirkwood, this county,
■ was reached that Mr. Yoha and his knife
; ■ were cornered. The knife was slashing cigar
. boxes to pieces at railway speed when the
' reporter opened up with: "Are you the man
; who is making an automatic world's fair and
. St. Louis exposition with a knife?"
{ "No, that isn't what I call it. I am mak
j ing what I call tho Mi-souri Pacific and Stras
: burg cathedral automatic wonder, with tha
; golden ark of the covenant. It w*./-. contain
over 180,000 pieces, and will have i,l03 mov
ing and working figures."
i All around the gaunt and dismantled church
: were piles of cigar boxes and laths and myr
iads of nicely carved little pieces of wood,
apparently portions of models of buildings.
; The whittler was a small man, with
j keen eyes and ready tongue, and
, about 36 years of age. In tha
course of an hour's conversation he said
. in substance; "I didn't know that I was any
thing extra of a whittler until about 1569,
i when in a small way I made some models. I
I was in Texas working at millting. The
; first large piece I ever made was a model of a
; Bermuda castle. Afterwards I made Balmo
' ial castle, Bingen castle, Miramer castle,
1 the steamer Bristol, Solomon's temple, and
j the Texas state capitol at Austin. Solomon's
H temple contained 12,208, pieces and had i,.5o'J
! windows. It is now on exhibition in Texas.
! The Austin capitol building has 62,874
J pieces and 561 moving peorJ •».'•" Every
< room and department " ia tho build
j ing was given Trith all the officers and
j legislators. Everybody was represented,
! down to the man sawing wood in the base
1 ment for the furnaces. All the figures were
i moved by a wooden engine, which was run
: by sand falling on an overshot wheel. I
■ made this piece at odd moments in 1881. .
1 "I have just hired ! this church and begun
; steady work. I shall sleep and eat in this
j church until about May 1, next. The ma
- terial? Yes, it does take considerable. I
j have already used up 967 cigar boxes and 300
laths. It will take in all 1,800 cigar boxes,
, 500 laths, and 500 feet of lumber. The cigar
| boxes I gat for 1 cent each. I use no tools
' except my knife." .
[ 1 __—_
', - To Simplify Matters.
j District Attorney Corkhill tells a cor
,' respondent of The Boston Traveler this story
! about Mr. Starr, once the best known lawyer
• in Iowa: He was unfortunately too fond of
! liquor, and sometimes appeared in court un
: der its influence. Such was the case once at
! Des Moines, b3foro the full bench of the
' supreme court, in an important trial. Aris-
J ing slowly and with soma difficulty Starr
: said: "May it pleasa the court, I have been
; engaged as counsel for the plaintiff in this
! suit, but I wish to say that my sympathies
', are all on the other side. In order to sim
■ plify matters I will give you $5
| if you will decide the case against
j me." When the chief justice had re
; covered from his surprise he said,
I with scma asperity: "Mr. Starr, you have
i insulted the dignity and virtue of this court,
j We cannot permit even so distinguished 'a
! lawyer as yourself to commit so outrageous
! an act of impropriety without rebuke, and
j I give you notice now that I shall fine you for
j contempt."- Staggering to his feet, Starr re
; plied, with much gravity: "Your honor is
j laboring under a slight misapprehension,
i which I trust I shali be able to remove. ; I
! didn't mean to offer you $5—I intended to say
! $5 apiece." The court arid spectators were
| convulsed with laughter, and Starr was at
« once assisted to his home. There is nothing
; on record to show that the sentence was ever
: enforced. ' "■ 7<7f
; A. itoyui Horsewoman.
j. [London Letter.]
j Elizabeth Amalia Eugene, empress of Aus
} tria, is perhaps the keenest horsewoman in
: Europe to-day. It is no small compliment to
j tha attractions of these islands that the em
, press of Austria and queen of Bohemia and
I Hungary, desiring to seek health and recrea
: tion in the open air, should desert. the broad
! plains of the countries over which her hus-
I band holds sway to seek the delights of an
} English hunting-field, -':';-"..
i;,, It is about six years since she first made her
I appearance in the hunting field in this conn
| try. It was at a celebrated meet • in Leices
; tershire, where, without any preliminary
j flourish of trumpets, the empress rode into
j the field, and cantered to covert side, many
! being unaware of her identity. The gener
j ally! 'correct" appearance of the lady, the
. admirable cattle on which masters and ser
; yants and a well-known ' cavalier in charge
[ were mounted, drew attention to the small
I cavalcade,' and soon ) it < became abundantly
i apparent that the empress, who had come to
England to'. hunt, knew perfectly well what
i was requisite and could hold her own with the
I best. "Hands," ''seat," and knowledge of
J pace,' it was observed, were all possessed in
j a high degree by this imperial lady, and pilot
' or guide not only very often found his place
] a sinecure, but on many occasions had to do
! all he knew to live the pace. She has made
j several visits since, both to I Ireland arid to
i England, hunting with the Westmeath hounds
' in the former, arid with Sir Watkin Wynn's
j in the latter.
j The oculists all agree that the use of dotted
i veils by ladies has increased their business.
CLAEA DI VENEZUELA.
[Texas tings.]
CHATTER I.
It i3 night in the castle of Kins Rodriguez
di Venezuela—night in'the castle, and above
the castle, and around about the castle every
where—night when . tho darkness lends his
robes to monster fear, and heaven's black
mantle, banishing the light, drapes every
thing in forma of ugly, Japanesa-art-work
woe. From within the heavily muilioned
windows, lights flash out and even gild the
g'oom.. (zAA^A'A
The low, unhealthy moan of tho trace
chained bull dog - without mingles with the
tempestuous, gang-saw voice of the mosquito
within, and the soughing winds whistle
through the turrets of the royal hen house
like an asthmatic fat man climbing over a'
fence. 71777'
It is a festal night in the castle. Philip St
Vincent Vermicilli, the sole heir of the lordly
house of Vermicilli, has arrived and pulled off
his boots. Is not the mission of his errand to
demand tbe hand of the Princess Clara, the
only, lovely daughter of King Rodriguez di
Venezuela?
It is.
All the noble knights of the realm are as
sembled in the stately, grand ancestral halls
of the castle. King Rodriguez ascends the
throne oa a step ladder. All is as still as
death, and each of the noble guests could
have distinctly heard a dray-pin drop on a
nigger's head in the wide, wide waste of fres
coed court yard far below.
But it didn't drop.
The king raises his voice and elocutes:
"Stand forth, most noble Vermicilli; and
you, too, me well beloved daughter, Clara;
form in a hollow square in dress parade be
fore me."
"With slow and carefully measured steps the
pair approach, and kneel at the big foot of
the Vermicilli with a proud, haughty,
don't-give-a-continental air, and the Princess
Clara deeply veiled and trembling with a
large and varied assortment of agitation.
Her royal father remarks in a voice in
which paternal affection and fine cut struggle
for the master.':
"Do you, most lordly, courtly Vermicilli,
accept the hand of my beautiful daughter,
the worshipful Princess Clara?"'
"I do," ejaculated the happy, expectant
lover.
"And you, me daughter, do you accept the
hand of the noble Vermicilli?"
As the Princess Clara heard these word?,
she glanced up with a quick, intelligent look
on her handsome, heavily powdered features,
and with a sudden jerk tore the wedding veil
from her back ham. Tall and stately as she
draws herself up with the innate modesty of
a telephone pole, she captures the heart of
every beholder. Large, luminous «-yes,
flashing jet black hair, and feet—but we can
not describe them. Wo have not space
enough in this paper to do them justice.
Before the words of her father cease to
reverberate throughout the grand and gloomy
corridors, she disgorges a wild, impassioned
shriek, and kneeling before the throne in
agonized tones, and with tears coursing down
her nose, she clamorously appeals to her
father:
"Spare me, oh, noble sire! Fancy my feel
ing linked for life to a man 75 years old,
bow-legged, with commercial teeth, and a
nose like the Orient at sunrise. Do not ask
your daughter to throw herself away, and
blight her life for all time and eternity.
Better resolve yourself into a committee of
the whole, and reconsider the vote, old
man."
As he heard these cruel words, . a largo
$2.50 frown arose at Vermicilli's collar-but
ton, enveloped his whole face and throat-latch,
and, passing over his Parian marble brow,
slipped down into the back of his neck. The
old king could hardly believe his own ears,
but as they had never gone back on him be
fore, he concluded to trust them. Drawing
himself proudly up, he gradually assumed an
utterly impossible attitude, and with clenched
fists and livid countenance, he howled:
"Ha! Base Bate! Me own daughter
turned tra-a-a-itress! It is too much. Tell
me that me ears deceived me. Say, oh, un
say those cruel, baleful words. Say that
you will wed with Vermicilli, and all shall
be forgiven!" 77f -7 7^
"No, father," said the girl, gesticulating
like a pair of governor balls on an engine,
"it can never be. I will only marry the
best and noblest man in tho ', world. I want
no hand-me-down relic, who looks as though
be had been snatched out of a second-hand
store. Call a tournament of the most illus
trious youth known to chivalry, and put an
advertisement in the papers that I will
marry the one with the most noble carriage,
the chcast in the land, he who shows off to
the best advantage. That's me, that's your
own daughter, Miss Clara."
"Well," said the king, as he fell back in his
chair thoroughly bluffed, "if that is the case,
I suppose you must have your-own way. Sir
Vermicilli, I heartily beg your pardon for
the slight in convenience to which you have
been subjected, but it seems to be the best I
can do for you to-day. This court will now
stand adjourned."
"A Vermicilli never forgives nor forgets
an insult, sir. Just make a note of that. I
have been deeply wounded in my most sensi
tive feelings, and ridicule has been heaped
on my personal appearance. Nought but
b-b-blud, and a good deal of it, can wipe the
insult out." '- £ -
- With these words, Vermicilli melted majes
tically from the room, and was never seen
afterwards. A sigh of relief escaped tho lips
of a 1. 1, present, and the company made a wild
break for the dining-room, where a superb
wedding supper was prepared, including all
the delicacies of the season, embracing sar
dines and pie.
[Five days and nine hours are supposed to
elapse between the first and second chapters.]
chapter II.
When the proclamation was given out in
the country that a grand tournament was to
be held, of which the Princess Clara was to
be the first prize, the novelty of the proposal
set the whole nation on fire. The news
spread. like magic, and all the young men
had high hopes of winning the prize. The
proposed applicants immediately commenced
to groom themselves, and . made shaving,
curling and milk and cologne baths the busi
ness of their lives. . A~- "■' - ~
Every young man in . the kingdom con
cluded to put in a bid, besides several large
foreign delegations. At last the grand day
arrived, and great was the bustle and com
motion throughout the city. At the hour set
for the tournament all the citizens flocked to
the lists, which were rapidly filling with the
most beautiful youth known to the world of
chivalry. 77
High and inscrutable, on a hand-made
throne of scantling and three ply carpeting,
sat the princess, blinding the eyes of, the
populace with her voluptuous beauty. Soon
the trumpets sounded for the beginning of
the tourney, and the nervous contestants be
gan to slowly file past the Princess Clara. On
they came with proud, ; majestic step/ each
with a mute appeal in his eyes and a sweet
smile on his features. For hours they trotted
up and down in the hot sun, but none of them
appeared to come up to the proper majesty
and princely bearing.. Kings; there were,
and emperors and counts, dukes and earls i*
•fff- [Chicago Herald.]
Pearl street, New York, is the crookedest
street in the world. - It is a mile and a half in
extent," and yet its curves are so incessant
that you cannot in any place see more than
two squares ahead It intersects Broadway ,
twice, forming a half circle \ whose arc is -
nearly one mile in length. 7 »
[Bob BurdetteJ \
"I know," remarked f the counterfeiter, !
"that am not original, but," he . added, as :,
he finished \ the treasurer's; signature on the |
$20 bill. "I am honest in my work, as you i
see, and always give credit." [
THE JORDAN CANAL.
j The Combination of Enginee*'ng,
Sentimental and Political P -'-•
j cultios it 'Presents.
[Chicago Newsi]
For a combination of difficulties of an en
gineering, senfc'mantal and political kind, the
proposed Jordan valley canal is probably
without a parallel among the great com
mercial enterprises of this age. Tha pre
cise engineering difficulties involved are not
as yet known, for no accurate survey of tho
country has ever been made. What is pro
posed is a canal 200 feet wide and forty feet
deep, below sea level, from Haifa, on tho
Mediterranean, to the valley of the Jordan,
a distance of twenty miles. It is esti
mated that such a canal would fill the Jordan
valley to the level of the Mediterranean iu
about five years, creating an inland sea
about ninety miles long, from six to
twelve miles wide, and about 1,200 feet
above the present level of the Dead sec
From the Dead sea it is proposed to cut a
canal of the same dimensions to the gulf of
Akaba, thus opening a ship canal between
the Mediterranean and the Red sea without
crossing the isthmus of Suez. As already in
dicated, the canal elevations to be ait through
are not precisely known, but that between
Haifa and the Jordan is thought not to ex
ceed 157 feet at the highest point At the
other extremity, however, the heights are
much more serious, the lowest estimate placing
the limit at 731 feet. Hence the estimates of
expense vary remarkably from £S,000,000 by
the promoters of tho enterprise to upward of
£225,000,000 by its enemies. If it can be done
for £50,000,000 the prospect of a satisfactory
return upon the investment would be en
couraging. -
The political considerations involved are,
first, those of the sultan, who would lose by
submergence about 1,500 square miles of ter
ritory, and in addition see the English coma
into practical supremacy in one of his most
cherished provinces. The question is yet to
be determined whether he would regard an
improved access to his distant possesions in
the south and the largo tribute he would re
ceive from tolls as an adequate compensation
for what he would have to sacrifice. More
over, the new waters would bury the Dead
sea to a depth of 1,2 feet, and would sub
merge about 500 feet such prominent scrip
tural sights as Jericho, Capernaum and
Tiberias. At the latter place there aro
Latin and Greek monasteries of immem
orial antiquity, the protection of
which would bo likely to call France and
Russia into prominence. Besides these di
rect interests involved there would bo the
sentimental protests of religious people in all
parts of the world. Something has already
been done to weaken the latter by the discov
ery of a passage in Ezekiel xivii. : S-10, where
it is predicted that "fishers shall stand upon
tho sea from En-gedi even unto En-eglaim,"
a prophecy impossible of fulfillment without
such an inland water as tho one in question.
A large surveying party is now on tho way,
at the expense of the English government,
for the purpose of making an accurate exam
ination of the whole route. It is expected to
be able to report early in the year 18S4.
NEW YOBK'S W0ME2T WORKED
How Hard It Is for Them to Strike
the Proper Demeanor-—IVorklns
for Commercial Firms.
[New York Cor. Milwaukee Sentinel]
"Upon my word," said a young lady in
the position of receiving clerk in the main
office of the Western Union telegraph office,
"it doesn't seem to me that the men who do
business have brains enough to keep them
out of the poorhouse, if they had to work for
other people. You've no idoa how difficult
it is to strike just tha right sort of demeanor
in a place like this. Tho manager tell us
that we must be nice and amiable, and never
curt or saucy. That's all very well, but wa
find that it won't do to obey those orders too
fully. It don't take more than half a
smile, or more than a word sweetly spoken,
to excite insulting familiarity in a good
many customers. I get mad onough twenty
times a day to strike my fist right through
that wicket, into their silly, aggravating,
mawkish faces."
Notwithstanding the sentimental disabili
ties which masculine idiocy thus imposes on
women, thoy are getting along first rate in
New York in making their way into good
employment. Ten years ago the needle and
sew ing machine provided the only work for
them above mental positions. Clerkships in
stores were opened more and more to them,
until at present they outnumber men ten to
one behind our retail counters. But it re
mains for the type-writer, by its introduction
generally into mercantile and professional
offices, to provide wages for women
of education and naturally bright intel
lects. The different makes of these ma
chines are clicking by the thousand in this
city. The operators commonly attain a
speed of 2000 words an hour, which is about as
fast as the merchant, the lawyer or tha
journalist cares to dictate letters, documents,
or articles. Scarcely a broker's office in Wall
street is without a female amanuensis. There
is a reason, asida from tho fact that these
women are glad to work for less pay than
men of equal attainments would accept, for
preferring them as private secretaries. The
parson iu such a position necessarily gets at
the secrets of his employer. It is notorious,
for instance, that men acting in this capacity
for Jay Gould have enriched themselves by
making use of knowledge obtained in the
course of their duty. .7 77
Now, it may be that women are worse than
man at keeping secrets, but it is also true
that they are not so ready to use them for
mercenary purposes. In the copying of
legal papers and other manuscripts, those
nimble-fingered machinists find an extensive
industry; and here the requirements are of a
lower order than for writing for dictation,
since the latter necessitates expertness in or
thography. In one of the commercial agen
cies, where the business consists largely in
furnishing reports to subscribers, made
up of quotations from the recorded ratings, I
saw over 200 girls at work in a single room.
It may be a long time before women will be
permitted to vote or will have any desire to,
but the means of independent and pleasant
livelihood are , rapidly opening to her in
various sections. The hardest obstacle which
she encounters is the one that I have already
described. Too many men have yet to learn
to treat her respectfully in business life.
llish Hotel Kates.
There is talk of a reduction in the fancy
prices charged by first-class hotels in New
York city. It is said that for the past twelve
months the moneyed classes have either had
less money to spend, or have felt less like
spending what they posesss, than at any time
since the panic of 1S73. The Tribune says:
"Failures in .many of the great trades are
frequent, the prices of provisions have fallen
and are falling, the value of real estate, if
not decreasing, is at any rate stationary,
salaries are lower than they have been for
years in every department, apartment houses
and elaborate flats are taking to themselves a
majority of former resident hotel guests, and
it seems as if a fall in hotel rates was only a
question of time."
; Short-Eland Biot Necessary.
[Philadelphia Herald.]
A short-hand writer has become one of tho
necessities of modern fife, but it is a great
; mistake to assume, as so many people seem
to do, that journalists must first become ex
pert in the art if they would ever amount to
anything. Not one newspaper man in a dozen
resorts to short-hand writing or is familiar
with it, and it is only on special occasions,
\ when great ■ detail and exactitude '". are re-.
• quired, that the trained short-hand writer is
' summoned in.
A STAGE ROBBER.
He Bndely Dispel3 Sonia Popular
Western Uotion3. (
Soajr or Ills Advents*** -"■::"» Ten
itlsrfe'et in the Kirrra Valley--
.'- ::<ri:»"? far ialnkiai
[Reno tSev.) Cor. New Vcrk Sua.]
Th i popular belief that it ta'e-s a br^va
man to rob a stage is rudely, dispallel by
John Marshall, ahighwayinari now in jal! hero
ft'.v.-t., ; trir.1 for stopping the Siarrn valley
stage a few weeks ago ar.d compelling the
passengers to give up their valuables. Mar
shall is not a formidable-looking nan, bat he '
has nevertheless a reckless air about him that
makes a man whom he threatens to shoot feel
that he is likely to keep bis worth Since hi-i
r.rrest, being rwuxmably certain that be will
pass tho next ten or twenty years in some
prison, providoal always that his career is not
cut short by lynchers, he has devoted much
of his time to the reminiscences of his ad
ventures on the road, It is suspected, now
that he is at bay, that ho tako3 some light
in casting ridicule upon his numerous victims,
but the opinion also prevails that there is
some ground for it. Every man who has had
experience with stage or train robbers shows
the effects of his fright for years afterward.
"Talking about brave men," Stage Robber
Marshall said one night in jail, "the idea that
it takes a man of great nerve and daring to
rob a stage is a great mistake. I can tako
tho softest tenderfoot you ever saw, and
after fixing him up in the right style so the
people in the stage will know his profea«ion
tin minute they set their eyes on him, I'll bet
I can scare the life out of the best Concord
load you ever see. This notion that wo hurt
people or threaten to hurt them, and that wo
are rough and all that, is all nonsense Wo
just lay for the stage in a lonely place, and
when the leaders heave in sight wo level our
guns and maybe fire a shot or two in the air
to make the horses jump and rattlo the
driver a little. Then when all hands are
looking out of the windows, with their eye;t
popping out of their sockets, wo yell, 'Bands
up!' Nine times out of ten that's all we havo
to say or do. The fellers in the coach get
out of their own accord, and wo just stand
them up in a row, and while one of us holds a
pistol the others jo through their pockets and
take what few little keejjsakcs they happen to
have handy."
Marshall whittled off an enormous piece of
plug tobacco, and, after locating it satisfac
torily, resumed: "Why, I've been in moron
a dozen hold-ups, and in only one case wero
there moron two of us. When the things
got into the papers, though, it was always
-..l! that there were a dozen fierce highway
men, all armed to the teeth, and that they
hhot the stage and the passengers' clothes all
full of holes. It was all a lia, of course. Tho
trouble with the people of this country Is,
they rather like to lie robbed, 1 guess. It's
easier'n falling off a log. Why, a year ago
last winter my pard and I was walking along
the mountain road, not thinking of anything
in particular, when along frame a couple of
tenderfoot in a carriage. Before wo could
catch our breath ono of them threw up both
hands, knocking the other's hat off, aid hol
lered, Tor (.Sod's sake, don't shoot!'
"Well, now, wo hadn't any idea if '.loot
ing at all, and didn't know those fellers wero
in those parts; but when they sart •■" re
minded us of our business by commencing to
unbuckle their watches and weasel*, why.
wo just took them in charge, of course,
and told the teudorfeot never to I- U3 catch
them on that road again for It was our'n.
They thanked us so warmly for sparing their
lives that I felt a little uneasy about it. In
fact, I was half tempted after we'd let them
go to toiler them up and kill one or both of
them, for somehow they gave me the impres
sion that I hadn't done my full duty."
Ho smiled grimly for a moment and added/
"Now, what on earth could I do under such'
circumstances? I didn't rob those fellers.
They made us presents of what they had;.
Yet, when they got to Wadsworth, they told
the people they had had an all-day fight with
road agents; that the woods was full of them,
»and that they had surrendered their valuables
only at the last moment, finding themselves
overwhelmed. These things are all behoved,
too, even by the old timers, men who ought
to know better. I and my pard have robbed
tho Sierra valley stage three times now at the
same place. Til tell you how it was done.
Pard had a Winchester and I had a pair of
Colts in my belt, but the job was done every
time with an old powder and ball pistol that
had no load in it, and wouldn't have gone off
if there had been one, for I didn't have any
caps. Pard would fire his Winchester as close
to the ears of the horses as he could without
dropping them, and I would swing tho old
blunderbuss in tho air and holler. Every time
it happened just tho same. The chaps
climbed out, begging that there should Le no
bloodshed, ami we would say there wouldn't
bo any if the yield was good, but that wo
would have to kill somebody if wo didn't get
enough to pay for our trouble. Every
mother's son of them would give up things
that we'd never have thought of looking for
or demanding. There was only just my pard
and I, but tho passengers would think they
could see some of our men behind every tree,
and we'd boiler once in a while some com
mand to the boys in the woods to be sure and
hit tho right ones if they fired.
"Oh, Lord!" Marshall said, with a prodi
giouslaugb, "itbreak* ma up^whau I think of
one feller who fainted dead away once. We'd
just got them in a row goo when this feller's
knees commenced to knock together, and ha
kept getting out of line. I finally thought I'd .
scare him and the rest of them a little, so I
hollered, pretending to be giving orders to
the boys hidden behind rocks and trees:
"Boys, bore a hole in this galoot with i o
light overcoat on if he moves an inch, or any
of the rest of them."
"Just then a big feller the second one from
the limber-legged chap, had a chill like, and
his teeth cams together with a such noise
that the other feller thought somebody was
cocking a rifle, and with a wild whoop hb
dropped in a dead faint. The rest of them
thought he had been shot dead. They were
too scared to notice that there bad been no
report of a gun. Well, we came pretty near
overdoing the thing that time. They all got
so faint and sick that it was hard work to
find their valuables. It is a great con
venience to a stage robber to have the pas
sengers hand their stuff right out.
"Speaking about weapons, why, I have
robbed stages up in California and over in
Utah without any weapons at all. You don't
need any. I'll bet a tenner that 1 can take
- an old-fashioned tin candlestick and hold up
tho best stage load that ever came over the
mountains. The driver is generally as badly
frightened as any of them. He is always -
-looking out for agents, and he sees thorn be- •
hind every bush. I have robbed stages all
alone, end made tha driver arid passengers
give up their arms, their watches and money,
and then dance for me. They thought i had
any number of partis back in the rocks, and
they didn't dare say 'peep.' Well, of course, A.
that's the great advantage we have in our.
business. We scare them to begin with, and
then they see everything double. One man
is just as good as fifty in_this line. Ha doa'fc
need to be a hero, either. He just wants a
little nerve and an imperious air. If I had
always worked alone I'd have bean a rich
man to-day, and I wouldn't be here, either. I
made my great mistake when I commenced
working in partnership. It will ruin any
man in my profession. If I ever get out of
i this scrape I'm going to jump the country.
The business isn't what it used to be yeetrS •
ago. i It's too easy. There is nothing excit
ing about it any more.; It makes me sick
sometimes when I think of thetendorfeet I'va" >
robbed. I ought to have gone into the train
racket long before thri7' '
3

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