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PART 201 1IL w
IO- . X - 7.N . M AA . SIN T 181. PAGES 9-F 2I. VOL. XXXII.-NO 187. HELENA. MONTANA. SUNDAY MORNING, AUGUST 9, 1891. PRICE FIVE CBNTS GilOST OF THE'TORTUIREI HOSIER. A SPECTRE OF UNCONVENTIONAL TYPE, HERR ENGLANDER WAS BRAVE AND RESOLUTE LY FACED THE TEST W E RAVE BECOME EPICURES in the supernatural. The respect able and conventional ghost and the haunted chamber of the oldmanor-house no longer serve our turn. A spectre, to com mand our respect, must be, nowadays, of original habits, and so stand somewhat apart from the other members of his exten sive clan. I was, therefore, not a little pleased when, a few years ago, I succeeded in lighting un on a spectre of somewhat unconventional type. Mp treasure trove was acquired as fol lows: I happened to be detained for a short time in a small and exceedingly tumble down old town in the middle of thb Black Forest. The place of which I speak is little better than a large village, though in deference to the feelings of its worthy inhabitants, who consider it, no doubt, as the "hub of the universe." I have dignified it with the ap pellation of town, and lies quite out of the ordinary run of tourists,, high and dry above the restless ebb and flow of the great excursional ocean. Let us call the old place by the name of "Dummelsheim;" it will do as well as any other name, and will convey a delicate and not unmerited compliment to its respected inhabitants. I: Dummelsheim, then, lies in one of the loveliest of the many lovely rreen valleys which run like tongues of verdure between the pine-clad heights and crage of theBlack Forest. It is seot doivn on a small patch of tableland, above which rise some wonderful shapes of crag and pine forest, and below which a little mountain stream rushes fran tically night and day, raging and tuearing its little life out among the great boulders and between the fern-clad banks, yearning to obliterate itself in the nearest river that of fers a refuge. I happened to be detained in this place on special business for a whole fo:tnight. A fortnight in Dummelsheim, with noth ing to do, represents about five years of or dinary existence in length and tedium. I explored the lovely valley, not without duly feeling the charm of its peace and iso lation; I drank, as in duty bound, very many tumblers of the peculiarly nauseous spa water, of which the Dummelsheimers are so unreassnably proud; and then time began indeed to hang heavily on my hands. There was no gaming table, no theater, no concert hall; a few noisy Gasthauser in which German Lieder made night and n-orning hideous, and wiere the lagerbier was the worst that money could o urehase, afforded the only amusement of which the stupid little place was cqpable. To be sure, there was "billiards." Every one plays billiards in Dummelsheim, other wise its folks could not exist. Even bill eards, however, with cork pool and the fear ful delight of overturning your opponent's cork with its pile of silbergroschen begins to pall upon one in time, and ere my four teen days' sojourn drew to a close I became not only weary of poor little Dummelsheim, but began absolutely to loathe the place. I could not leave it, however. A certain event had to happen, a letter to arrive, and before my time I could not stir. At last I discovered a diversion. It came in the shapue of a compatriot, a resident compatriot. Not that in appearance or garb he was much of an Englishman. Twenty years' residence in Dummelsheimn had made him more German than the Ger mans, and had quite obliterated the handi work of the good old land that gave him birth. lie had all but fornotten his mothe, speech, and when he endeavored to use it his sentences were patched together by the Teutonic words and phrases, which cam-e more readily to his tongue. He was as re gardless of his personal appearance as the most inborn of the Dnnmmrelheimers, and as devoted to the consumption of tobacco as the best of them. It was supposed thet he was a bachelor. At any rate, of "woman kind" he had none, and lived alone with merely with the intermittent aidof a super naturally hideous frau at those times when scouring and cleansing became a hitter ne It was in a cafe that I first met with him. I thought when I first saw him, "What a dreadfully shaggy old German that is; no one could mistake his nationality, at any rate." He seemed to be a part and parcel of the green, mouldy place, a suit of hu man lichen, an animated fungus, on two short eand sturdy legs, And his smoking and spitting were an honor to his adopted country, And would have been creditable even in a citizen of San Francisco, or a dweller in "Poverty Flat." However, a compatriot is n compatriot, and if one has to scrape the dirt from his countenance in order to recognize hint the operation must be gone through for the sake of the dear land of our fathers. My German-Englishman proved, as a companion, decidedly better than none at all, and in his morning rambles with me pointed out with great care what he knew of the antiquities of the little town; showed me a wood where one of the Dummelshei mers had once, in a fit of playfolness, ap plied a hatchet to the back heir of his betrothed, and also the jail in front of which he was afterward hanged as a punish ment for his little escapade. Many other spots of interest, where incidents of a less tragic, though still striking, character had occurred, were also designated by his kindly walking-stick as we strolled along. After a day or so my newly found friend began to resume his native speech, so long disused, and by that time I also had learned to translate into ordinary English his quaint and puzzling Anglo-German expressions. So we managed to get on very well to gether, and I found him an interesting if a slightly dirty old man. The town, when explained by such a cicerone, was invested with quite a new charm of interest. It was quaint enough without any extraneous help and the houses, being for the most vart an cient timbered edifices and the gables lean ing forward and hanging over the streets, one obtained every now and again a street vista of delicious picturesqueness, in which the ancient houses, nodding toward each other, seemed to be whispering forgotten and piquant scandal of the good old Ger man days. There were at every turn and corner abun dunt "bits," which an artist for an illus trated paper would have found very handy, and sketches of which he could have rapidly converted into current coin of the realnm. I am no artist, but to my great surprise I discovered that my dear and dirty new found acquaintance and countryman was. One day, having aeocompanied him to the queer and humble lodging which he inhabi ted, I found on the walls certain indubita ble proofs of his artistic bent. There were many admirable sketches in chalk and sepia of striking points in the valley, and of certain buildings and objects in the town itself. The fountain in the market place was there, with its great St. Christopher as its oentre figure. There were the porch of St. Christopher's church, the aoaint turret at the anule of the town hall, the erambling sais of an ancient fortroes on the Ganes berg. Among other things I noticed a sketch of a certain picturesque old house which I had indeed seen, but the locality of which I did not remember at the time. I mentipned this fact. "Ach nein, I have not shown you him. Hie is in the Lederetrasse," he replied. "We will see him together auf morgen." On the morrow, accordingly, we walked together to the Lederstraesse. As we entered the dirty old street my companion remarked: "I have never been in this street for twenty years or more, and I never wished to enter it again." My curiosity was roused. 'Why?" I inquired. "I got so great a fright here once, and I was so much laughed at," he answe ed. "Why, what is there about this street to frighten you? It is old enough, certainly, and quaint enough, and smells rathe- pah! I exolaimed, as a full-flavored Ger man stench saluted my nostrils; "but noth ing terrible, after all." "Well, mein herr, it Is not the street; it is not the street; it is t at house, and-the ghost in it," the Anglo-German replied, with a sort of shudder, so to speak, in his voice. "Oh, ohl then you have not lived long enough yet, and you are not quite a boy, to geot rid of your superstitions, elh? You are still afraid of ghosts, are you?" "I was afraid of what I saw," he replied, with a certain amount of dignity, as if hurt by my light manner and my tones of mockery. My curioeity was of course roused, and I doubt not yours, reader, would have been by this speech, and I was about to question him further, when, pointing with his stick, he said briefly: "That's the house, then." I looked, and recognized in the ancient timbered edifice on the further side of the street the original of the chalk sketch in his lodgings. It was a tumble-down pile, with over hanging stories, and carved "Ibare board," having, moreover, a curiously twisted chim ney of ancient, ruddy brickwork, and cer tain obscure remains of armorial bearings over the door. There was a date which, however, I could only make out in its state of dilapidation to be 15 -and something or other. The edifice seems to have been long de serted, and the grass was growing in tufts armong the stones at the front door, as if thb passer-by had long been accustomed to avoid a too near acquaintance with the old tenement. Indeed, something about the building Rarid, as plainly as a German version of Tom Hood's roem could have said: "'Th3 house i, aaunted." Nay, the very street itself seemed to be haunted. It was in a g-eat part deserted. The tumble-down buildings on either side of the picturesque house seemed to be devoid of occupante, and the few sordid and wretched houses in tie street which ap eared to enjoy the presence of tenants, had, to my imagination, and in the gather ing ilusk of evening, a seoredaand terrifed aspect. ouss woa ui cuue wluuw. saic coy conductor, pointing to a large. battered casement just above the door, "and when we go I will tell you what I know about it. That will do," he continued, taking hold of my arm, "you have seen it, and it is not good to stay in the street; it chills the blood, I imngine." "Indeed it does," I replied, and we moved off, not, 1 finry, without a thrill of pleasure at leaviini behind us the ghosatyatlnosRhere of the Lederetrasse. A few crows, fitting inhabitants of the desolate street, were wheeling about the roofs and chimneys of the house as we departed. I went with my acquaintance back to his lodging, and there, over a plentitul supply of lager bie", and the smoke of two big pipee, he told me his experience of the house and street we had quitted. "'Twenty years ago-I was rather younger then, I fanc:;; I mean not in years merely, but in life and hopes-I had recently come to this town, and before I was long in it I heard much talk about a queer ghost, quite unlike any ghost I had heard or read of, which wasanid to haurt the Lederstrasse, and which the people of this town so much dreaded. "Hans Hubbler, down the Ganzstrasse, hnd sen it when a boy, and old Frau Hertzler had all but died from fright, when she was 16 vears old, in consequence of it mere glimpse ot it. It was the celebrity of the little town, as well as the bete noir of the place. "Well, mein herr, I laughed at all of the stories, and grew very courageous over the matter in my cafe when the night grew late and the bottle was low. Some of the fel lows there tried to chaff me on the score of my nationality. 'Ein Englander,' they said 'always asserts that he will brave any thing-dog, or fiend, or fraulein-but let him be put to the test, and he is not al ways so brave as a lion.' Then one of them said: '" This Herr Englander, here, he has heard enough and is brave, but let him face a test we will give him if lie be a brave Englander, and we shall see.' "So one night in the restaurant Kloppart. in the milk market-I remember well that night. Ach, mein herr! is that door fast? So! I remember that night. I was fired with courage, and I said, when they spoke of the ghost, that I would face it, come what might. "A grin of incredulity passed over the countenances of my listeners, and they puffed oway at their pipes in contemptuous silence. At last big-bonied Krantz Hub scher, the butcher, made me a bet that I would not sleep for one night in the old house in the Lederstrasse alone. "Donol" 1 cried, and the muoney was staked; not muich, a few silbergrocahen, and I was pledged to an adventure. "It struck me afterward that a great number of the ghost stories I had myself read turned upon some unused house or room and an undertaking to sleep there; but further than this, as you will see, my case had little resemblance to any other spectral adventure. Nor did this render my case less real or terrifying. "'What sort of n ghost is it?' I asked' 'tell me just that so I may know what kind of an appearance I1 e am out to face.' 'Ach nein!' they said, 'mein herr must see him just as he is. and enjoy him as well.' "So the night was fixed upon, and the key of the ancient house procured. A mat tress and some candles, and also a pistol, at my request, were taken into the biggest and best room, that one just over the door way. A good bottle of Zeltinger and a sap per for me were got ready, and a roaring fire of big logs was built in the afternoon in the fireplace there. "'The people living in the Lederstrasse were much astonished and a good deal in terested in the unwonted glare in the win dows of the haunted house, and. when they were informed of the reason of the illume nation, expressed a good deal of pity for the mad Engllbhman whose craze had tempted him to brave the ghost of the locality. "Night oame-a dark night it was In November, with windy gusts every now and again sweeping down the street and among the crazy old chimneys. There was a pale, gibbons moon that showed herself at Inter vals from between the drifting clouds ,ina very weird and enranny fashion. 'Just the nightjfor a ghost story,' I said to myself,and thought, eel felt a little thrill come over sue, 'shall I pay the small bet and have done with the matter? LSall I ory off. and smoke my pipe at home, and turn lnto my bed at my usual honr in peace?' No0 I decided, after a bit of consideration. I will go through with my undertaklng now, comea what may, and show these Germans what mn Englishman can do, and will do, at need. "So I made all my preparations for my adventure, and about ten o'clock entered the house with two or three friends, who had resolved to accompany me in order that they might see me comfortably dis posed of. "The crazy old stairs creaked a good deal as we went up them, but the room looked exceedingly cosy, for the great loge were smouldering in the chimney, and cast out an agreeable heat, In all the corners and hanging from the beams, were many dingy cobwebs, the work of generations of spiders, undeterred from their work by the house's evil reputation. H ive these cobwebs, my mattress, a couple of chairs, and a small round table upon which stood my supper and the good bottle of Zeltinger. the room was unfurnished. * "As a further aid to courage I had pro vided myself with a flask of eno-de-vie, and, of course, had my pipe. "My friends, having cast an approving glance around the room, sat down smoking for a few minutes, than bade me oaten abend and guts nacht, and left me to my meditations. "I listened to their heavy boots as they went stump, stump, stump down the stairs, and to the street door as it slmt to with a bang. "I was alone in the house of evil repute. "'Stay a bit,' I said to myself; 'tius is perhaps a joke, a trick, and it will be with the living Germans that I may have to deal. Well, the pistol will give an account of them; but I will make myself as safe as 1 can.' "So I took from my pocket a screw driver and a paper of big screws, and with a quiet smile at m% own cunning-for of these screws I had said nothing to any one, proceeded forthwith to screw up the door. "The door made fast, I walked round the room and carefully took stock of it. There was a small corner cupboard. I opened this; nothing there but spiders, their webs, and the carcasses of their victims. "On the other side of the fireplace was a very low door, about the height of my rshoulder. Another cupboard, I thought, and endeavored, for a long time without success, to pry it open. When at last it yielded, I discovered with some surprise, a step and another low door, evidently strongly nailed up, and which, from its ap pearance, had been for ages in the same condition. "This discovery gave me for a moment what the ladies describe as 'a turn.' 'What a strange thing,' I said to myself, 'a pas sage leading to dlmewhere; just like these haunted chambers usually have. However, I will take good care that no one makes use of this passage to-night, at any rate.' "And so closing the low door, I proceeded to make it fast with some more of my great screws. As I did so, and was da iving the screws homne, I felt a queer sensation from my right had to my elbow, something like a faint electric shock; 'pressed on the nerve somehow,' I said, and continued my work. "This done, I had my supper, lit my pipe, and drank the half of my wine. The chimes of St. Ch'istopher's tower startled me, sounding the hour of eleven. I was, how ever, in a peaceful frame of mind without the least fear of anything human or super natural, and I gazed placidly at the red smouldering logs, and puffed my pipe in peace. o uusIII, IuOwevee, Lrie raie tua stne hour of midnight would soon approach gave me just a little shiver. I quickly quenched the feeling with a drop of my ean. de-vie. "Nevertueless. I thought, there is no use in sitting up thus. I may just as well go to bed, then I shall, without doubt, fall asleep, know of nothing till to-morrow morning, and be able to go home with flying colors. "Accordingly I prepared for rest, and, as I can never sleep well wi h my clothes on, pulled off all my attire with the exception of my shirt, took a final drink of the eau de-vie, laid ready my pistol, and lay down upon my mattress, drawing a single blanket over me. "I lay with my feet turned toward the glowing embers, which diffused grateful heat and gave sufficient light to enable me to discern the objects, such as they were, in the chamber after I had extinguished my candle. The feeling of security, born of the fact that I had securely screwed up the only two doors which opened into the room, did its work, and in a short time I fell asleep. "I cannot tell how long I slept. All I know is that I seemed to wake up from a feeling of cold, as if some one were blowing upon me with a pair of bellows; I rubbed my eyes, remembered where I was, and ex perienced a slight feeling of unhappiness to find that the night had not passed over, and that 1 was still in the haunted cham ber. "The fire was all but dead, the moon, as I could see through the uncurtained window, seemed to be plunging her way among great banks and masses of cloud, the room was fitfully lighted here and there with a strange twilight of moon and fire. "Somehow my eyes fixed themselves on the low door on the side of the hearth. Could it be possible? Was that door open ing? No; impossible! I had screwed it up too tightly for that. "Yet something strange was taking place. Whether the door was openillng or some thing was coming through it I could not tell; but I felt that a change was taking place, and sat up in my bed in silent terror, with that peculiar sensation in my body which persons of an imaginalive disposi tion are pleased to coil "goosefllsh." "Fixing my gaze firmly upon that mys terious door I sat and watched it. Little by little the aspect of the door changed. It became white, bleached, as it we e, and then. to my intense horror, a something seemed to pass through it and to stand in font of it. Yes; that something gradually assumed shape and proportion. 1 could see the head, the body. the arms; the form was that of a man. Then, while my hair stood upright upon my head with terror, 1 noticed its stern, wan face, its costume of a long bygone age, its lean and withered arms, and its attanuated legs. Could it be a man in the flesh? No, clearly no; for 1 could see through it, and diseorn that the little door at the back of it was fast screwed up as I had left it. This was no man in whom was the breath of life, a phan tom, a form, a show, merely an image, awl how inexpressibly ghnstly and terrilic! When I had fully realized this fact I be came a prey to the most abject terror. It was true, then, about thle ghost! It was no trick, no joke, that I was to be subjected to, but before me was a supernatural shape for the first tune in my life. I became seized with ia species of fascination as well as by teror; I gazed fixedly at the appearance, covered as it was Ly a strange unearthly white light. "It was the figure of a tall, lean man; for it had by degrees risen far above the height of the low door front which it had emeoged. "Its eyes were fixed upon ilme, and over one of its arms it carried an nlmber of dark objects, the shape of which I could not make out. "Bult, horror of horrors! it was quietly nearing my bed. "I arose at once and stood erect, trem bling in every limb. In vain 1 tried to speak: my lips refused to utter a word. I could only start fixedly and in silence at the strange, glittering tlgure. 'ihe form, doubt less, it was of sople creature who had walked the streets of Iumnmelasheim in the flesh, and lived in this house some two hundred and fifty years ago, still haunting in its ancient shape the well-known spots. "The spectre advanced and I retreated before it. holding out my arms as if to ward it from me. "I never thought of usiea my pistol save at one moments but the fact that the figure was transparent at once convinced mue that to fire at it would be of no avail. "Still the terrible shape approached with a silent, noiseless stride; then, on reaching the middle of the room, it seemed tonmotion me with one of its armse toward tile chair. "I hesitated. Its action became itu)pera tire, and I was constrained to obey. Once e*ited, the spectre, which appeared to have acquired a perfect control over my parn lyzed eneses, took something from over its left arm and Higned to me to stretch out mny leg. I did so mechanically-and then-how can I convey to you the feeling that came over me as it proceeded to pull what seemed to be it stocking of ice upon my left leg? I can even now at times feyl the horrible icy coldness of that spectral home. It was a stocking that tire figure was pilling upIoni my bare leg and foot. I wits chilled to the very bone, my hair bristled, mny head swain, my heart ceased to bent for a moment, higher and higher crept the ioe-cold stocking poln my leg. The stocking was on. This accomplished, the spectre motioned me to stretch out the other leg. My horror now fairly broke the spell that chained me. I tied to the door, the specter glided after me smoothly and sil ently as a fate. I seized the handle of the door--miserablel I remembered that I had fastened myself in with the ghost! My reason seemed to be escaping me. The steel-like glitter of the specter's eyes was fixed npon me. Like a hunted and doomed animal 1 fled round the apartment. 1 leaped at the window, crashed through it, and fell into the street below. "I musut have lost consciousness at once, for the next thing I remember was lying on my bed in my own lodgings, with my good landlady and the acquaintances who had dared me to the terrible trial, standing around my bed. "It was said for some time after that the poor Englander wats going mad, as ill the others who had seen the ghost of the Led erstrasso had done. I cheated them, how ever. My head was too strong, I suppose, for I got over my fright, and after my broken leg had been set, could listen to their recital of what had taken place. I learned that those who had set themselves towatchin the street hlid heard fitrt a strange, low, grinding sound-my screws, no doubt-then, after it long Interval, my frantic screams, a crash, and the clatter of broken glass, and had seen me fall as a lifeless lump upon the street pavement. "They picked me up, and one of them described that as they dlid so he chanced to look upward and saw at the broken window above, shining in the moonlight. a pale, shadowy face, and the glitter of two bright eyes. "It is not strange to say that my right leg was broken by the fall; but it is. I think sI omewhat strange to relate that my left was blackened to the knee, its if scorched; nay, it is so to this day-see!" My friend showed me his blackened leg. "And that is all?" I asked. "All, lieber Himmel! is not that enough? Can you wonder.after what I have told you, that I don't like the Lederst:anse?" "Wonder; not I! I would not go near the place again after dark for a grand duke's ransom. But who do they say the scepter was?" "I do not quite know. There is a legend i of some hosier who once lived in that house and was rich, who fell into some disgrace, and the reigning duke of Saxe-Dummel si seim seized upon him, and with a refine ment in cruelty, inorder to extort from him his money, caused him to be put to torture something in the manner of our ancient machine called 'the boot,' which crtushed a the leg of the victim. In this case the in strument was a hose of steel, which was at the onset icy cold, and was then heated by fire to almost a red heat. The poor hosier sank under the dreadful torture." "It is said that his ghost now seeks to a avenge itself upon all who approach his ancient abode, and that he tried on them e his ghastly hose; if he succeeds inl getting e both hose on their legs they die, end his I spirit is released from its wanderings." Such was the tale of the queer old Anglo ,eGerman. I went to my inn and to bed; o there plhy and pondr red long upon the ,, strange story I had heard. My sleep, whena sleep came. was not of the best. Every now and again I awoke with a start and a shud a der, and.fancied that a ghostly hosier was , pulling upon my own legs the spectral hose n of the story. A day or two passed by, and one night, as I was packing my portmanteau for my homeward journey on the morrow, I was startled by a great yellow light in the sky. Soon after I heard the hoarse and blatant voice of the alarm bell. I dressed and went out, and found the whole population of the place running in one direction. T fol lowed the stream of folk. It was a fire, some one told me, in the Lederstraese; the haunted house was burning down. We arrived in the ancient narrow street; the eight was magnicent: the whole dwelling was envel oped in flames. No one took the slight est trouble or endeavored to get the flames under. All were staring and gaping in idle curiosity. "It was a bad place," some one said,"and they were well content to see it perish." How, or by whom the fire was kindled I never knew.-Time. TIlE MONTANA STATE FAIR. Items of Interest Concerning Plremiums, ]Races, Etc., Etc. The Montana State fair opens Aug.I2 and closes Aug. 29. Entries for premiums must be made on or before Saturday, Aug. 22; none can be miade after. Every article or animal entered for a pre mium must be in its proper place by Mon day evening; two exceptions only, cut flowers and bread. Exhibits in this line must, be in their place by Wednesday noon. AMusic every day by the band. Blue ribbons will be tied on Friday. flay and straw will be furnished free to horses and cattle on exhibition. 'Ihere will be four or more races each day of the fair. Exhibitors requiring space should makel npplication to the superintendent of the different departuments. Entries can be made or left at Pope &. ('('onnor's drug store during the week pre ceding the fair. RATES OF Ar)MISSION. All rerrsons, whether exihibitors or not, illlln t obtain tickets of admission to the groulllnd at the ticket oflio, near the ertrnice gate. Coupon ticket, admitting one person daming the fair ....................$5 00 Coupon ticket, admitting lady during the fair. ........................... 2 rO Single ticket, admitting one person nc ............................. ... 1 ( Single ticket, admitting lady or child llce .............................. .... Children under eight when acomrpa niird by their arrrmts ............... Free Single ticket. admitting wagon, oar rTage, buggy or saddle horse........ 110 Quarter stretch badtge for the week.. 2 50 rEachr occuparllrt of it vehicle, excepting chilldrnl under ii, rmust have a ticket. t)rnibuses and vehicles carlyiing pas sengers to and i rral the grounds will be ad mitted oin sucrh terms as the board of diree tors rmay prescribe. , ilpply wagons will be admitted free pre viours tro nine r. m. each day of the fair; at all other times they must pay regular price of aldrrlisrion. The ticket system will be strictly ad hered to. A CARl) TO TilH IP1t1rrLIC. 'The directors desire to say to the public that they are entirely dependernt upon the gate teceipts for funds to pay premiums anld the running extleun'es of the fair. IThlo exact no entry fr'e uponl articles or animuralu exhibited and they deemu it there fore proper and riglht that all persons it tending the fair should pay the regular admrission to tlhe groulnds. Pleasant Journeys. l'leassnt journeys can always be had via the Wisconsin Central line. 'T'hi emplolye are courteous and obliging, the sleeping and dining carsl and day ootrches are peo.e of any in the northwest. The leaving hours at principal turminal points are covern init, and the deptots are centrally located. Altogether it is the most desirable route in either direction between St. I'aul, Minne apolia. Ashland and Duluth and Milwaukee and Chicago. Try it and be convinced. SANG OF THE WEAIHER, Caterwauling on the Back Doorsteps of a Man Void of Of fense. Theme: Moonlight on the Lake; Place: Dark Night on the Prairie. The Servant Girl Problem in the Country Advantages of Amateur Cooking -Nina's Pie. [Written for TiuE HUNDAY lNDi's.rI)iNT. l E'THOUGIIT' I HEAtRD A VOICE say, "For, oh, there's moo-oo-oo. oo-oonlight on the la-a-a-a-ake." They talk everlastingly about the weather, in the country, and I suppose it is only natural that they should sing about it, but I personally have never shown intoest enough in the subject to warrant anybody in waking me at midnight for the purpose of imparting information which belongs to Incle Jerry Itusk and his signal bureau. tNeither is my back yard the 'proper place for discussing meteorological conditions with a concertina accompaniment. My first idea on being aroused fromslum ber by this unmelodi'ous weat.uer bulletin was that my neighbor, Sydney Drew, in a fit of mental aberration was serenading Cousin Nina. I had heard that this method of testing a young woman's affection was still employed in rural districts, and, on general principles, I was inclined to approve it. Certainly if a man is forgiven for cata waling under a lady's window in the dead of night, he should be able at the next op portunity to approach the subject of matri mony with sustaining confidence. I grasped the first convenient missile and crept toward the window. If the midnight visitor proved to be Sydney and I inflicted serious injury upon him, I could swear the next day that I thouhbt it was somebody dlsce and thus restore the entente cordiale. My first glance from the window showed me that I had grievously wronged my neighbor. There was not so much moon light in the back yard as the minstrel had led me to expect, but there was enough to show me the state of affairs. I perceived i , MOONLIGHT ON THE LAKE. that our maid servant (called Nancy by those who did not feel well enough ac quainted with her to make it Nance) was the provocation for this noctural burst of melody and that she was enjoyinrg it at very close range. I replaced my missile on the floor. Nancy and the midnight musician were sitting on too small a section of the back doorsteps to permit my taking a shot at him without endangering her; and I am too much of a gentleman to throw a No. 9 shoe at i woman. I returned to my couch and let the concert proceed. This is only one of a series of incidents which have convinced me that the servant girl problem is even more darkly insoluble in the country than in the cite. We at tempted to induce our girl to come up with us from New York, but she refused to go to a place which had no police force and very few social advantages of any kind. Our lirst country-bred servant quarreled with Maude over a question of saleratus, and went home to her mother. The next one was tie oldest of eleven sisters, nine of whom had scarlet fever, and as she refused to submit to such a process of fumigation as my wife thought necessary we were forced to part with her. After she was gone Maude burned brimstone inl such quantities that I could hardly have had mooe of it if I had caught the fever and died of it. Our third venture promised to be fairly successful, but on the third day she re-, ceived ea letter fromn her consin, whol was waiting on thle table inl a snmner hotel up in the Catskills. The cousin wrote that she was receiving serious attontions from a New York gentlemante, whio had come up there to give his remaining lung a chance to recuperate. lie was very wealthy and owned a third interest in a livery and un a.rtmaking establishment, which would mea Terially reduce his widow's expenses ill case the climate did not benefit him, as it hadn't so far, poor miLan. lThe cousin confidenhtl expected to be that fortunati e widow, and she saw no roeason why our girl couldll't do equally well if slle wnould ceon.t, up at once. Of course we ciould not stalnd inl the wly of It young girl's proelects, and we let her go. Nantcy was the fourth. Sliee was a voutng womanll possessed of large teeriotal attrac tions which she aggravcated by Ilarmling ce clfnt'litiis of dress. (ne' day she got hold of a brig in which Maude, has treserved all the ribbons, at tilical flowetrs, stuilted birds and other fashionable il ouIII trlcatires which have done service ion her hats for the past 1=; __ THI1'T nAT TO C01r'HURVII. four or flive years. Nanecy obtained permuis sion to draw upon the treasury ill this bag, and began to triml a broad brimmed straw hat with the contents. She didn't stop till shie hbd used every flower and bird and ribbon; and she wore that hat to church next Sunday with utter disreg.ard for the seored characoter of the services. leesides the young malt who howled abou. the moonlight on the lake. Nancy had ant other beau who played the same tune on the mouth orga:i. Generally they osme on ailternate nights, but sometimes one or other of them made a mistake in the date, awl then we had a duet, or more frequent ly a fight. After a couple of weeks of this we decided to part with Nancy, and try to make up some of our lost sleep. Then for a time we hadn't any girl at all. Maude did our cooking. I like Macde's cooking. It is valuable discipline. If I should ever be shipwrecked and forced to drift about in a long boat with nothing to eat but marline spikes or a few fathoms of wire back-stay, I should probably survive much longer than my comrades who had been pamrpered all their lives with hard took and salt horse. When we have no girl I always think of these things, and read Clark 1tususel's sea stories. Cousin Nina chippedl in to help Mande. tier forte was fancy cooking. She had a valuable theoretical knowledge of the sub ject, but she was liffldent about aoknowl edging the practical results. She begged Mande not to tell me what part of the din nor each was responsible for, but to make me guess. I am sorry to say anything which may interfere with Nina's matrimo nial chances, but the truth is that I never could tell their biscuit apart, even by bouno ing them on the floor. At my suggestion, delicately worded, we oceaioniwtly dined at a summer hotel in Grimeiville Center, where we were waited upon by a young man who always offered his advice on the qnestion of what we should eat, and did it with a grace which JI I GAZED I)OVINOLY AT THAT PIU. would not have offended anybody if he had been ,efereeing a dog fight in Long Island Citr. I remember seeing the waiter over whelm a Grimesville man with his atten tions to such an exetnt that the simple rus tic ordered Worcestershire sauce for des sert. Nina had been experimenting with pies for several days; and at last she had con structed one which, on the face of it, an swered every requirement of the cook book. I c:iught her gazinl at it with honest pride, and I heard her ask Maude if she didn't think we might invite Sydney to tea. This meant. of course, that the pie was to be cut for Sydney's especial benefit. When a young woman begins to acknowledge growing interest in a young man by mak ing things for him to eat, the affair takes on a serious aspect-especially for him. We asked Sydney over to tea. I have pteviousty introduced him as a polite young man; and, in any case, self-interest would have urged him to get on the right side of Maude in order to secure her in fiuencc with Nina. He ate nine of Maude's biscuits. There were thirteen separate and distinct nightmares in every one of them. I know, for I afe two and woke twenty-six times in a cold perspiration. Nina's pie came at last. She prepared to cut it with her own fair hands, assisted by a knife. As she laid the edge of the blade on the pastry she fixed her eyes tenderly on Sydney, and he returned the glance. I watched the knife. Nina sawed a few times with its edge, but the top crust of that pie remained unscathed. Then she tried the point, but it did not penetrate. Sidney no ticed that something was the matter, and he blushed evmpathetically. I tried not to catch Mande's eye, for a laugh at that critical moment might have sundered two annan hanria Inravar. Meanwhile Nina sawed and stabbed, and stabbed and sawed, and tried to look as if these were the ordinary formalities prelim inary to cutting a real nice pie. She offered a few remarks on general topics at the same time with a desire to distract attention from that mucilaginous upper crust. She asked Sydney, who sat with his back to the west. e n window, if he had noticed what a beau tiful sunset we were having. While he obligingly turned to look at it Mande passed Nina a steel knife with a good stiff wire edge. Nina grasped it nervovsly and aimed so vicious a stab that the pie came out of its p:ate altogether and struck the table with a thud that made everybody jump. But there was a gaping hole in its horny top now, and when Nina had hustled it back into its plate she succeededed in dividing it into irregular fragments, one of which she offered Sydney with the smile that tempted Adam in the garden. I never saw anybody accept martyrdom more cheerfully than Sydney did. He ground up that pie as if it had been the bread of life, and then he asked for more. "It she rejects him now." I whispered to Maude after supper, "she does not deserve to be the wife of a hero." Sydney did not stay very late that even ing, but he maintained a cheerful demeanor to the last. "Good night," said he as we shook hands over the fence which separates our land, "whatever happens to me, don't let her think it was her fault. 'Tell her that I was always delicate, and--" He was interrupted by a desolate and mournfnl howl, which cleft the stillness of a Grimesvillo night. A minute later Nina appoeared at the door, evidently in a state of extreme agitation. "lloward," said she, "won't von please come and see if you can do anvthiun for Nuisance?" "What's the matter with the striped pup?" I asked, trying to be cheerful. "I-I don't know," she answered in a voice full of tears, "unless-yes; why should I attempt to conceal it. I gave him what was left of that pie." HowAnD FIELDINO. ;3olpyright. lExe.r.ioni Itates to Californla. Ott the 11th of each month the Northern Pacific railroad will sell round-trip tickets to California points as follows: llelena to San Francisco and return, go in via l'ortland and returning same way, $75. To San Francisco, going via Portland and returning via Ogden and Silver hlow, $!0. To Los Angeles, going and returning via l'o:tland, entering San Francisco in one ditection either going or returning, $89. '1o Los Angeles, going via Portland and San Franciseo, atnd returning same route, 'o Los Angeles, going via IPortland and San I, ancisco, returning via Sacramento and Ogden, $99.50. Tickets will be lutted for sixty days for oilng passage, with reanrn at any time with. in the final limit of six months. A. D. EDoAR, Gen. Agt.. Helena, Mont. Cuias. S. FeL, 0. 1't.& '. A., St.Paul, Minn, Notice to Sitockholder' A meeting of the stockholders of the Montana State Fair will be held Aug. 18, 1891, at eight o'clock p. m., in the office of ('ullen, Sanders A& Shelton, Granite block, for the purpose of electing a board of di rectors for the ensuing year, and for the transaction of any other business that may properly come before the meetingR. FasNuis Poes, Secretary. Helena, Aug. 4, 1881. oar Thls Week Only. At HI. Tonn's, zephyr, in all colors, four ounces for 2'c, knitting yarn Sc per skein, gonuant yarn $.125 per pound, best quality always sold for $2.