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REAT GCHLWEHS Of GUM
There Wu a Prize Match One Night at Steve Brodle's Plaoe Big Mouthed Ill, Hoboken Pete, Blinky MoMillan and Other Oelsbrities in It. he WPrise a Valuable Damnead Worth $i.h0, on Whilch a Man Could Got $l1 Any Day. [Written for Tar. HITALr.A Tnnrst1nP NT*r.1 HE BOWERY SALOON WAS DO ing a rushing business. Before the polished rosewood bar stood a crowd of shabbily dressed men, in various inele gant vostures, who gazed in. rapt admira tion at thel plotures of deceased plgilists paperinR the walls. The few graiae of sand labeled "From Yankee Bullivan's grave," elicited profound interest, while the crude samples of the semi-nude in art sreated such discriminating critiiosms as "It's about time Oomstock took a peep in die ranch!" The proprietor, a stockily built man, with furtive ayes, was here, there and everywhere, like a rat in a cellar. A mar ble slab, into which had been out the name, "Steve Brodie," lay before the door. At intervals a young and effusive colored man, whom Steve called his "vallle," came out of the saloon with a pail of water and a mop. In the presence of an admiring crowd he carefully washed the marble slab and then covered it with a piece of second hand Axminster carpet. This operation was gone through with eighty times every day; not that it was necessary, but because, as Steve said, "It makes do blokes' eyes open like clam shells Nothin' makes de Bowery gillies' jaw drop like style!" On a recent evening the "valle" had washed the marble for the eighty-frst time, when a tall, slouchy man saluted him in a tene saturated with ram and plug tobasoo. Bald he: "I hear there's goin' to be a ohewin' gum match here to-night. Is that so, Joeko?" "Who you eallin' Joeko, white maunl You gra' big knook-kneed, splay-footed, bow. legged old bag o' bones! I want you to an nerstan' I ain't no common. no 'oeun' Bleeeker street nigger, I ain't. I'm Mr. Brodie's vallie.' " "Now, don't yen get nifty, sully," replied the white man. "You're workin' for your gin and free lunch, and I ain't agoin' to take any pickles out o' your mouth. Now, run right along and toll yofr boss that I ean chew more gum in less time than Charley Mitehell, and he's got more jaw than a steer. I've chewed onions. Dies, molasses candy and raw potatoes in matches, and I never got beat yet. If I can't beat any man on the Bowery ohewin' gum I'll eat my shirt." "I gaess you'd ohew railroad iron for a drink," said the "vallie," with a grin, as he ushered the would-be competitor into the august presence of Mr. Brodie. The latter has a cynical faculty of raising his cuntom ers and in accordance with this censorious practice he exclaimed; "Hello, Big Mouth Bill! So you want to work your grinders, eh? Well, I don't think there's much show for you. Ye see, you ain't been in training like the other en tries. They've been practicin' on sole leather and Bowery sandwiehes for a week and their jaws.is limber as an old shoe. Gum chewin' is jest like prize fightiu'! You've got to pit your muscles in first-class workin' orderl" "Wot's the prize?" said Bill. "The prize is a di'mon' medal. It's a good atone. I paid $2.50 for it down to the original Cohen's shop and he says he'll gave the winner a dollar on it, You go in the back room and wait till the ehamaeen of Connecticut comes. He'll be here in a little while." Bill went into the back room where he found four other contestants. Each of these bore his atpropriatenickname. There wee Hoboken Pete, with a jaw like a lion: Blink, MoMillan from Skeneatles, whose heavy jowls resembled those of a bulldog; while Johnny Hall's Pet, a stalwart negro, and Billy Fangs had been supplied with formidable sets of mastioatory machinery. Each contestant looked at his neighbor askance for awhile until the community of interest broke the ice of reserve and they nil dropped into sociable converse. Each related some marvelous experience in the chewing line. Johnny Hall's Pet said he had accomplished the feat of eating a 12. cent Bowery custard pie while running around a block in the unprecedented time of a minute and one-quarter. This achievement was offset by the performance of Billy Fangs, who declared he had chewed and swallowed twelve soda crackers in as many minutes. "Mebbe yonse mugo don't think that was much to do," he con tinued, earnestly, "but you try to chew dry soda crackers without water and it'll keep you a-gaping like a chicken with the pIa,. in this delightful fashion the evening wore away until the arrival of the orches tra, which consisted of a black piccolo Slayer and a white guitarist. The news of the impending chewing Raum match had gone abroad and the saloon began to grad ually fill up until there were a hundred sports prrsent. The tedium of waiting for the (Conneotionut champion was enlivened by the guitar player, who sang a paroay on "Maggie Murphy's Home," whioh was like this: You can stand in Grogan's alley, About a unle away, And hear Mg inti.iotg church hymns At the breaking of he day,,. lier head goes ml tihe buacket, She doesn't mind thle foam For thire art not ally glacset In Maggio Murphy'a home. This tender little sentiment was received with murmurs of applause, and elicited an encore. While the singer was stillwarbling about the flower from his angel mother's grave Mr. Brodie entered in company with Wally I'erkins, from Naugatnek, Conn. He wore a wide brimmed straw hat and large checked trousers. His jaws were wagging ltazily on a piece of practice gum, and a quiet smile of conscious superio ity rested on hie face. The time had now come for action. The outer door of the saloon was closed, and Steve cautioned the audience to keep still. Said he: "I wanat yonso blokes to understand that this ain't no Homeste.d riot. It's just a little racket wot I've got up for to tickle ne customers. Keep yer traps closed and everything'ill be lovely. But if ennybody gets funny something 'ill droo. I'm a-ran mlin' this gin mill, and the first calf that squeals pits a plug in the lanterns and goes out on his head. Now, gents, make yer bets. The orchestry will ulease play 'Boom-ta-ran!'" Thie mnsia arose with its voluptuous swell, while Mr. Brodie began to make the preliminary arrangelments for the oheqing um umatch. ilo stood the live contestants up in a row, appointed lilly Costello. a cripple, to act as timekeeper, and an nounced that he himself would ant as referee. When everything was ready he put his hand into his eoat pooket and drew out a handful of cubes of chewing gum. It was an impressive sene. 'IThe back room'was dimly lit by gan. 'he flive loen who were about to tent their chew ing powers looked as serious as if they were in attendance at a funeral. Each face in the crowd ackoed about the room wore an expression of eager expectancy. Now and then some man whose humorous capanoity was largely developed sonikered audIbly, wi.ioh breach of decoram was met by tn angry frown from the master of ceremonies. Extending his hand upon which lay some twtenlty piees of iohewing gum, with the tragie manner of a king about to bestow an order upon a sabJsot, Blodie said: "There's the stuff that wihe the di'mon' mnedal,. Its tooty-frooty ehewin' gum. The man that chews the moat pieces of it will Treatmernt Idetical v)ith that Cjii r at g ht, III. KEELEY INSTITUTTE, GREAT FALLS, MONTANA. No\v Openfor thejeception of atients . =~POR. THE CURE OFifi--I---== = Liquor, Opium, Chloral, Cocaine, Cigarette, Tobacco Habits, AND NERVOUS DISEASES. OFFICERS: Goue Chloride of Iold l The Court of Last Resort HON. PARIS GIBSON, President. U -FOR CHAS. D. WILT, Vice-President. F. GEO. HELDT, O PI T J VI Manages, Sec. and Treas. -AND TRUSTEES: PARIS GIBSON, CAE1fa NI I IITOP CRLAB. D. WILT, E FIR IUuEI A. E DICKERMAN, FORTO.ILUOU D. L. TRACY, S p as asiy IU P. GEO. HELDT. Sanitarium or home treatment.. Our remedies are successful the world over. PHYSICIAN IN CHARGE: We Dr. KIeeley's new book, Opium, its use, abuse and cure, mailed W.P.MocGLENN, M. D. THE ONLY CURE. FREE. The Keeley Institute, Great Falls, Montana, is established for the exclusive treatment and cure of the opium and Morphine addiction, the Liquor Habit and Nerve Exhaustion, through the use of Dr. Leslie E. Keeley's Double Chloride of Gold Remedies. The same treatment will be employed as that administered at Dwight, Illinois, where over twelve thousand people have been treated and cured. Under the personal direction of our Dr. W. P. McGlenn, the physician in charge, all patients wmi receive the most careful treatment. Cures are effected without pain or nervous shock. Course of treatment from three to four weeks. All correspondence strictly confidential. Furnished rooms at the institute to those desiring them. Skillful and courteous treatment guar enteed to all patients. For terms and further particulars, address THE KEELEY INSTITUTE, Great Falls, Montana. have the name o' bein' the champion toots frooty chewer of the Bowery, besides Rittin' the medal. D'yo understand? It ain't the man that chews the longest on one piece o' i chewin' gum that wins the championshi , but the feller that gets the me, pieces o' gum in his mouth at of e time and keens his jaws a-waggin. Besides, ye got to keep time witli the music. This ain't no gu-as-you-plear I chewin' match. Mr. Wee'll, president < f the T'ooty-Frooty club, will beat time wit~ the bung starter, ahd the bloke that breaks time with his jaws goes out. Now, I'll give each one o' you mugs a piece o' tooty frooty. Yol'll hold it in your hands till I start up the music and Mr. Wee'll gives you the movement. 'Then I'll count, and when I sav 'three!' you go." The music struck up at an andante gait. Mr. Wee'll's bangstarter began to make figure 4's in the air, like the baton of Pat rick Sarsfleld Gilmore, and, when Brodie gave the word, the silence was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. They were off. Five pairs of jaws began to wag with the precision of a Corlies engine. The overstrained nerves of the sptectators found rellet in an audible sigh. 'Twas an inspir iting sight to see those five able bodied men working their jaws like threshing machines. Bettings began to fly alound the room. Hoboken Pete was the favorite at three to one, because of the size of his mouth, witu Billy Fangs a close second, and the Nauga tuck third. Encouraging remarks arose on all sides such as: "Sock it to 'em, Pete!" "Look at them grinde's grind!" "Holy mackerel, McMil Ian ain't keepin' time; he's off his beat!" Steve kept them chewing on the first cube for more than half a minute. Then he handed each man another piece of gum, and as they put it in their months sirnui taneously he ordered the musicians to play faster. The chewers began to feel tLe strain now. It was quite easy to chew on a single piece of gum, but when the quantity was doubled and the time perceptibly in creased the work became much harder. Johnny Hall's pet t.ied to enter a protest, but Brodie shook his head sternly and said: "No kickin'. You keep on waggin' your jaws or drop out." 'ihe pace was getting to be very hot and sweat began to toll down the faces of the men. At the expiration of two minutes a third chunk was added to the gum already masticated. The measured beat of "Boom ta-ra" and of jaws rose and fell together. Johnny Hall's pet was getting groggy. lis eyes rolled, his jaws wobbled and with a loud groan his gum fell out of his mouth and he gave up exhausted amid roars of laughter. The Naugatuck masticator dropped out in the fourth round and began to bathe his jaws in cold water. By this time Brodie changed the tempo of the music, for it was Impossible to keep up a liv ly gait on four chunks of gum. Hoboken P'tte was still in the lead closely followed ty Billy Fangs,. who might have won in tl a last round but for the lamentable fact that as his jaws aome together his teeth stuck in the plastic mass of uam and were held thoie'as in a vise. Ho nearly dislocated his vertebrae in his efforts to separate his molars, but all in vain, and he was knocked oat. The contestants had now been chewing for live minutes, which seemed an eternity for them. There were only two left at this stage of the contest, Hoboken Pete and Bliuky Moblillan. The latter was toiling along bravely, while pan demonium reigned in the saloon. lllinky's backers wanted to bathe his jaws with water, but the referee sternly forbade such telief. But the match was b ought alnost to a tragic end when Biitkey fell over upon the floor, unconscious. His jaws were glued together and the referee was foreed to pry his teeth apart with a knife blade. Hoboken Pete won the medal withll a record of eight pieces of gumu in seven min utes. As he leaned on the bar, surrounds I by has many backer and with a huge chunk of ice held tightly against his aching jaws, he thus described the closing scenes of the comedy: "l never seen sueh a thing in my life. There was Blinky uittin' on the floor, while Steve held him no by the hair of his head and Johnny Hall's Put held hbsunouthfopen. What was that thing that Brodie used to fish the gum out of Blinkes's mouth?" Thirteen deeply interested spectators re plied in shorus: "His wife's button hook!" NOT DEAD. Remarkable Experience of John Turk, a Pio neer of Helena. 89 Doses Taken at Once Did Not Kill, but Succeeded In Curing Him. tohn Turk, Cascade, Montana, took 39 doses of a so-called "San Francisco Quack's Medicine," at onoe, and was not killed, as promised by rival doetors. In Septem ber, 1889, he called on Dr. A. C. Stoddart, visiting physician for Dr. Liebig & Co., Liebig World Dispensary, San Francisco and Butte City, who had offices for two weeks at the Merchants Hotel, Helena. Mr. Turk had suffered for years with Rheumatism, Impurity of Blood and effects of mercurial Salivation. He had four of the belst physicians in Montana attend him, and they failed to relieve him. Dr. Stod dart examined him, sent his prescriptions to Lisbig Dispensary, San Franoisce. to be prepared. After Dr. Stoddart left, Mr. Tark met the local doctors and told them what he had done. They ianahed at him, and said "that San Francisco quack would kill him." He was so frightened that when the medicine from San F]rancisco came he put the bottle upon a shelf at his house. 717 Park sts.et, Helena, and it stood neg lectsd until December (nearly three months) while Mr. Turk suffered day and night, had not slept half an hour at a time in years. Being in great agony late tn December, at midnight, his eye caught sight of the so-called "Quack's?" medi cine; (THE QUACK nAPPENS TO HAVI TIe MONTANA MEDIICAL LICENSE AND 16 A DUT.Y QUALIFIED PHYSICIAN AND SBUROON FOR MON TANa.) He, in desperation decided to kill himself with the "Quack's" medicine, as he was told by former attending doctors it would kill him, so he swallowed half a month's medicine at once-39 doses-and fell asleep, sleut until noon next day, and never has had a pain or ache since. The above reads like Action, but truth is stra...r, and to prove that the above ts true, write to John Turk, Cascade, Mon tana, or call on Mrs. E. Verley, or Mrs. A. H. Dunbar, 707 Park avenue, Helena, Mont. Drs. Stoddart, Liebig A Co. will have offioes in Helena at Merchants Hotel. let to 4th of each month. Montana ofllces 8 East Broadway, Butte. Call or writs. Recently the following Notice appeared In the San Francisco Chrontcle. T' Judge R-- had beenl sick outl' abaut two week4, ii'iil it was not ittio the hit thlrtee or bur dlay th t the tuallv took a sr'ioi trll. diaret's and itht diunch d , graelr ater (Ile kikdieo, relfsed to pet I it t heir c it tetiiitti ad n i pwssedt quietly atWa, lht t'I ett ltrd the lit 1'. of oet e nd the toot ptx lllill'ell i.lril ,l Cali fileiat." like ttlu.iiud' of othcth blis ui titmily death wa, Ithlie ,tfurIt oi'teglicting early syluptont. of killiiry disrasr. IF YOU U cre tiroled wiit diabetes. ktavrl, or Ieiv de I'ueultiii |'t of ate kidt t i tii iii V rottttn, doms li d Iy pitoptr trul ,iitllt ntil ytti eI f liirveed to give up ytui dailry duties ; donY walte yOur n",lll" IIUIevI wonl wthlss alllimentsn andcl wore plasters. but strike at the seat of the disease at onte byv ue hig tie greatert ot altl kaknowti remedies, the irelebratid heitaoi Kid Icey Tea. It ha saRv.d tile lives of tltotlitnd. 'vIny shoild it niottCa'r yo"l) ITry it, I'ut'el vgc|tntle atd pleasant to take. 1.00 a pack age, 0 for $5.00. PROFESSIONAL CARDI. [DUTCHREB & GARLAND. (T. E Crather . C. Garlnd Attorneys at Law. Rooms 7 sad 8, Bailey Block. Minm _ý · orporation and real estate law special. lee. Will practice in all the state courts, in the United States suereme court and before all the lepartmeuta in Wuhinpgt~n city. in connection, with Hon. A. H. Garland. late attoiney general. .VANS A. CAIiLET'ON, Attorney and Counsellor at Law. Meaonio Temole. Helena, Montv' . BBSHBURN K. BARBOUR, Attorney and Counsellor at Law. Masonic Temple, Helena, Mont. MIASSENA BULLAED. Attorney and Counsellor at Law. Will practice in all courts of record In the sIate. ffice in ouold Blook, Helena. Mont. 1IZER& KEERL, Civil and Mining Engineers U. 8. Deputy Mineral Surveyor. Mineral pat ents secured. Rooms 12-13, Atlas Buildupt lolena, Montana. DR. M. ROCKMAN, Physician. Surgeon. Accocher, Oculist, Aurlst Member of San Francilco Medical Society, also Nevada State Mdical Society. Office on Main e.rout, over Steinmetz Jewelry Store. R. D. In CARMICHAEL Diseases of Women and Chitlrea I1eolal Attention. Helena. Montana IRW. H. BULLARD. Office: First National Bank Buildllg. Telephone No. lIt. DR C. K. COIE. Olice First National Bak Building. TelepIhone No. 168 [EW SIOUX CITY ROUTE' EAST. Passengers for the Fast fror Helena and other western points will find the NEW ROUTE via SIOUX CITY and the ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. H. not only desirable as to time and equipment, but one of the most attractive, passing through Sioux City, the only Corn Palace City of the world; Dubuque. the halndome Key City of Iowa; Rocklord, Illinois, anew manufao turing city, that has become a "world within itself," and Chicago. whose growth and enterprise is the wonder of the world. With elegant tree Chair Cars, and Pull. man Palace Sleeping Cars on every iriain between Sioux City antid Chi cago, and with a close connection with the Union liacitio trains at Sioux City, the Illinois Central R. R. rrspeotfully presents its claims for the new and every way desirable SIOUX CITY ROUTE. For folders and lurther partcu*. lnrs call upon local ticket agent, or address the undersigned at Manohester, Iowa. J. F. MERRY, ALet.. General Passenger Agent. Selling OutTHE PROVIDER Selling _tt THINK IT OVER. Whether you do not need something from our immense stock. BECIBE QUILGKY. For such bargains as we offer will never again be seen in Helena. French China Ladies' and Gents' Furnishing Goods Hand Painted WE IIAVE JUST Tea Sets, loo00 Doze. LADIES' H alf Price. Fast Black Seamlless Hose. They were bought to be sold at 30c. While they last will sell at Tea Sets, 56 pieces, Delin ere's Limoges China, gold band 20 C ent, s Pair. or assorted sprays. - Were. ................ $13.00 Silverware Department, To Close Out........... 7.00 5-Bottle Silver Plated Castor....... $1.50 Tea Sets, 56 pieces, Havi- Triple Silver Plated Pickle Castor.. I.zo land & Co.'s Limoges China, Triple Silver Plated Berry D)ish .... 2.00 assorted sprays, latest shapes. Good Silver Plated Knives and Forks, set .......................... 2.oo Were .................. $19.oo Roger's Best Triple Plated Knives and To Close Out........... i1.oo Forks, set................... 4.25 Roger's Best Triple Plated Tea Remember that these are the best quality spoons, dozen ............... 3.00 of French China, and that the prices quoted Silver Metal Teaspoons.......... . I.o are less than the same number of pieces Silver Plated Teaspoons, dozen..... .50 would cost in plain white. Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, etc., at COST. WM. WEINSTEIN & CO. .-WEISENHORN Carriage Manufacturing Company, Wmn. Deering & Co.'s CRASS CUTTING AND HARVESTING MACHINES, " * * MANUFACTURERS OF AND DEALERS IN "00 Carriages, agons, Carriage Material. Fine Repairing and Painting a Specialty. AGENTS FOR ~IUMBERL"AND GLOAL. TELEPNON, E NO. 121. HELENA AVENUE, ADJOINING STEAMBOAT BLOCK.