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LATELY ACCUMULATED BY A MERE INKEEPER. Depew's Rival After-Dinner Speaker Wilthin Six Months Blmeon Ford, a New York Hotel Man, tias iade Him selt Pameps. Chauncey M. Depew, whose fame as an after-dinner speaker is world-wide, has a rival in New York city in Simeon Ford, a plain, ordinary, every-day hotel-keeper. He is more sought after in New York today than Mr. Depew himself, in spite of the fact that this new star in the oratorical sky was practically unknown six months ago. It is possible that Mr. Ford's life work has molded him into an after dinner speaker of the first water, for hotels are frequently the scenes of din ner parties. Or is it possible that his business has had nothing to do with the polishing up of his ability to the point where is gleams like a diamond. No one is quite able to say just how it all came about. But come about it has, and New York is proud of the oc currence. Mr. Ford is in charge of the Grand Union hotel, and became interested in that hostelry first in 1883, when he SIMEON FORD. married Miss Julia Shaw, daughter of the Grand Union's proprietor. In appearance Simeon Ford is tall and thin, with a solemn face, which he knows full well how to keep under per fect control. He is 43 years of age, and was born in Lafayette, Ind. He studied law for awhile, but his sucess was poor, and he didn't bother with legal quips anI n nirlra verv Inn. Mr. Ford is the saddest when he is saying the funniest things, and, strange to say, his conversation is just as amusing as his prepared speeches. He is a great deal like Mark Twain in that he excels in the art of humor ous anti-climax, and also a great deal like Artemus Ward. The nasal drawl which is the stock-in-trade of every American humorist is his, and he knows how to use it to the very best advantage. Speaking of himself the other day, Mr. Ford said: "I am very nervous for two weeks before making an after-dinner speech. It is a very serious matter with me. You have to study the question about which you are to speak from every side, and it keeps you awake nights thinking of good things to say. "The idea prevails that all an after dinner speaker has to do is to assume a full-dress suit and slowly rise up when called upon and captivate the audience with wit and eloquence. "If the after-dinner speaker told the truth, he would acknowledge that for two long, sickening weeks his wife and children have been made wretched by listening to recitals, and that he has had suspicions aroused as to his sanity, by muttering it in public places. "It is awful to think that after-din aer speakers are to be brought into competition with living pictures, skirt dancers and Little Egypts. This is a serious matter, and I tell you the people who arrange these programs for after-dinner speeches should not place Chauncey M. Depew in competition with the Barrison sisters. Let a man in a moment of temporary aberration of the mind make a sucessful after dinner speech and his peace of mind as well as his digestive organs are irretrievably ruined. Years ago I made a speech, which, surprising as it may seem, was regarded as a model. Up to that time I had been a merry, laughter-loving youth, and carking care rested but little upon my cluster ing curls. Now look at me--'sicklied o'er with a pale cast of thought.' " Sir C. Warren's Bath. There is something extremely Eng lish in the story of Sir Charles War ren "doing trimbics," as Bouncer ex pressed it, in the open air on the bat tlefield of Vaal Kranz. Sir Charles, under no circumstances, intermits his morning bath. On the occasion of Bul ler's last effort to relieve Ladysmith Sir Charles found it impossible to leave his post, so when day ,broke on the battlefield he ordered his servant to bring his bath with sponge and towel, and then and there, in the open air, Sir Charles Warren, commanding the Fifth divis.:n, proceeded to take his bath, subliriely indifferent to the fire of the enemy. The enemy were, perhaps, too much astonished at the British eccentricity of bathing at all, much more of bathing in this extreme ly public fashion, to attempt any vio lent interruption.- London Daily News. A. Compromise. "Going to the Paris show?" "No, I ornpromised with my wife, and we're ostay at home and study. French." hi ladelphia North American. NATION'S LONELIEST WOMAN. Yve. Mo.s of the Yea. Oat i-s - Ocean. Wherever a man must gu a woman will surely follow him without count ing the cost of peril, loneliness of hardship. Without doubt the loneliest woman-that is to say, the one farth est removed from her kind-in all these United States of America is Mrs. Clark, the wife of Major E. W. Clark, government agent of the Pribylof or Seal islands, in the Behring sea. This group, composed of the two small is lands of St. Paul and St. George, are the homes of nearly all the seals re maining in existence, and they are about 1,800 miles west of the entrance to Puget sound and about 200 north west of the Aleutian islands, begin ning at Unimak pass. St. George, which is the smaller of the two, be ing about six by twelve miles in ex tent, is forty miles from St. Paul, and it has a population of about 100 Aleuts and four or five whites, consisting of Major Clark and his wife, a physician and two or three clerks for the North American Commercial company, which controls the seal business and has stores and warehouses on both islands. The little village of St. George con tains twenty-five or thirty houses, in cluding the company's buildings, the agent's house and a Greek church. There are no other houses on the islands, and Mrs. Clark is the only white woman. Her home is a small cottage of four rooms,, very cozy and comfortable, with books' and pictures, and a fine outlook over the sea. She does no cooking in her own house, as the government officials take their meals at the company house near by. Mrs. Clark's nearest neigh bor is the wife of the agent on St. Paul, who is less lonely, because she has with her her two small children, Mrs. Clark's children being grown and having their own homes in the states. There is no communication between the islands except by one of the com pany's ships and by revenue cutters, as other ships are not permitted to visit the islands. These ships come only in the summer, and from Octo ber until June Mrs. Clark does not expect to see any one or hear any thing from the United States or to send word home, no matter what hap pens. Sickness, death, disaster may come to her far off in that forbidding sea, or may visit her own at home, but no word may come or go until navigation is resumed. St. George is absolutely without trees, but its roll ing surface and mountains, 1,000 feet high, are beautifully green with coarse grass and moss, and wild flowers of brilliant hues dot the level stretches near the sea.--Chicago Chronicle. CAPE COLONY'S PREMIER. Cape Colony's premier, W. P, Scbreiner, who is now threatening tc resign his office, has had a very diffi cult place to fill during the British Boer war. As leader of the Afrikander element in the Cape, he was ostensibly opposed to war, although doubtless in sympathy with the Boer states. He made many efforts to preserve th peace between the peoples, and was more than once called a traitor while ne gotiations were under way. As to his intellect, he is certainly clever enough to have been for many years an adroit and not entirely unsuccessful opponent of Cecil Rhodes. Mr. Schreiner was born in Cape Colony, is of Dutch de scent, and was educated in England. He studied at London and Cambridge universities, and after taking his de gree returned to South Africa as a barrister. Soon winning a reputation for shrewdness, he became attorney general of Cape Colony when Rhodes was prime minister. For a time he was Rhodes' right-hand man and in timate friend, but the Jameson raid caused a rupture which was never healed, and the two men were long at "daggers drawn" with each other. In W. P. SCHREINER. appearance Mr. Schreiner is a fine loo:ing man. He has a large head, joi:ed to a pair of broad shoulders by a thick neck. He is a brother of Olive Schreiner, the novelist. Jeweled Purses. The oblong square purses, which opon with an ordinary clasp, are more popular now than the envelope-shaped purses, which have jeweled buttons. These purses are studded with jewels in gold ring settings, in some the jew els outlininig the edges of the purses, and in others dotting the whole of the side. One, for instance, has the entire side covered with amethysts, cut dia mond-shape, set. at regular intervals. The purses with studs have one advan tage-the studs can be removed and used for collar buttons or to close the aeck bands of blouses. Rhodes to Have Statue. Kimberley will erect a statue to Mr. 7ecil Rhodes in recognition of his services during the siege. WILL BASUTOS FIGHT? AND IF SO, WHICH SIDE WILL THEY TAKE? ritlkh and Beer* Are Antlows to Know the Answers be Those QaeitLoe.-Ir the Blacks Bie. Padoomealam Will (Special Letter.) Among the thousands of Englishmen and others familiar with the facts who have read the news of the growing un ,rest among the people of Basutoland, there are few who do not think that news very ominous and for an obvious Treason. To restrain people like the Basutos after they have once become restless, is no easy task, and if in the present Instance it should prove im possible the great question arises: "On which side, if on either, will this pow erful African tribe range itself, on the side of the British or on that of the 'Boers?" The Basutos inhabit an ir regular and oval shaped country in the northeast of Cape Colony, the area of which is about 10,293 square miles, a well watered country, with a delightful climate and with a soil which is ad mirably adapted for producing grain. Meadowland also abounds and large herds of cattle add much to the wealth 'of the natives. The capital is Maseru, and therein 600 Basutos and thirty Eu ropeans find homes. European settle 'ment is prohibited throughout the country, and therefore the white popu lation has remained for some years practically limited to the few foreign ers who trade in wheat, mealies and corn. Of mineral wealth, especially of copper and iron, there are many indi cations, and coal has also been found. The Basutos are a tribe of Bechu anas, and the census of 1891 shows 'that they numbered 218,000. They are ,a race of recent origin, being really an agglomeration of peoples who had been scattered during the Zulu con juests at the beginning of the present century. Europe heard little of them until they rose to power under their great chief, Moresh, who had many disputes with the Free State, and who finally transferred the sovereignty of his country to Queen Victoria. As the result of a disastrous rebellion which sprung up in 1880, the Basutos paid a fine in Cattle to Cape Colony and a bill was framed providing for the dis annexation of their country. The Ba sutos held a great "pitsu," or parlia ment, in 1883, and the representatives of more than two-thirds of the entire tribe expressed their desire to remain under British rule and their willing ness to pay hut tax and to comply with the other conditions on which the imperial government was prepared to undertake the administration of af Qsý,n There was one chief, however, whc positively refused to accept England's MASUPHA AND SONS. offer. This was Masupha, a man of great authority and influence. In an swer to all arguments and pleas he simply said that he preferred to retain his independence. To this sturdy na tionalist the British government paid scant attention. It formally declared that the requisite conditions had been sufficiently complied with, and without further delay it took steps to carry on the government under the immediate authority of the crown. Consequently since March 13, 1884, the territory has been ruled by a royal high commis sioner. The chiefs, however, still retain much of their old authority. Thus they still adjudicate all matters between natives, the next higher court to which appeals may be taken being the magistrate's, where all cases between Europeans and natives are brought. Altogether the Basutos have become wonderfully civilized during the last fifteen years. This does not mean that all the old vestiges of barbarism have wholly disappeared. The lBasutos are glad to import blankets, ploughs, sad dles and bridles, clothing and iron and tinware from England, but they often give in return for themo native goods instead of money, and many of them pay their taxes in the same way. There is not a telegraph or a railroad in the country, and letters are only de livered once a week. The nearest tele graph station is at Ladybrand, in the Orange Free State, and the transmis sion of letters to and from Europe takes from twenty-six days to a month,. When the war in the Transvaal broke out the rumor spread that the Basutos had determined to rise against the Orange Free State, and those Eu ropeans who know the dauntless char acter and excellent military efficiency of the Africans were not: a little star tled at the news. They can put an army of several thousand men into the field at short notice, and when in the field they will fight with a skill and I eourage that have more than onec win for them the admiration of Eu ropeans. The Basutos were never treated i, neighborly fashion by the Boers o the Orange Free State, and Mr Thompson, a member of the Cape As sembly, and well acquainted with thi native question, thinks that for this reason the large majority of the Ba, autos would range themselves or thi British side if they should decide te join either of the participants in the present conflict. Throughout Greal Britain, however, he points out, there .is a very strong feeling that to in voke such aid would be a grave crime against the whites of South Africa Many others have expressed a similaI opinion within the last six months and persons who claim to speak with authority maintain that the Boers are just as loath as the British to accept any aid from the blacks. It is realized by both British and Boers that in case of an uprising ol the blacks in South Africa at present pandemonium would be likely to reign, and for that reason as well as others the statement has often been repeated that the natives are not to be allowed to take any part in the Transvaal war, But what will the white men do ii their neighbors in Basutoland shall take up arms? This question is puz zling many thoughtful minds in Eng land and the Transvaal today. EYES REQUIRE Glasses at a Certain Age, and sooner II Abused. The change which comes to the eye as a result of age are beyond the power of the individual to remedy. II is true that the time for the wearing of glasses may be hastened by abuss of the eyes, but with all possible care that one may take the eye that hith erto has been normal will need shortly before, or it may be shortly after, the age of 45 the aid of glasses. So unlt versal is this that an oculist, in his examinations of the refraction of the eye of his patient, can determine very accurately the number of his years. The responsibility of much eye trou ble, however, can be brought directly home to the individual. It is due to the reckless expenditure of the eye sight. The service of the eyes is de manded in any and every light. The eyes are most tried by reading fine print, or doing the fine stitches of sewing or embroidery. If the print is on glossy paper whose smooth surface reflects, mirrorlike, the light, the ef fect is very bad upon the eyes. If the embroidery is to be done on satin, or upon canvas, with its bewildering maze of meshes, the strain is soon shown in the redness and the weari ness of the eyes. Women's eyes suf fer greatly from the tax of veils. Ii only shows the great adaptability which the eyes share with every ether part of the body, that the veils, with their intricate meshes and numerous dots of embroidery and chenille, do not occasion more trouble with the eyes than they do. The first thing to do in selecting a veil, if one has mercy upon the eyes, is to test its effect upon the sight, to see that the weave is not confusing and that the dots do not come athwart the eyes. Harper's Bazar. The Automobile Habit. Senator Wolcott of Colorado has ac quired the automobile habit, says the Washington Post. Mr. Wolcott's au tomobile Is a victoria, and quite attrac tive in its appearance, as automobiles go. It travels every day from the sen ator's residence, on Connecticut ave nue, to the White House or to the de partments, and then gayly climbs the steep incline at the capitol entrance. In the afternoon the automobile reap pears at the capitol and carries the senator home again. A firm believer in the automobile is Mr. Wolcott. Ho believes that not only has it come to stay, but that it will increase and multiply until the carriage drawn by horses is relegated into oblivion. "It runs easily and swiftly," he says "it is safe and convenient, and it is inex pensive. Instead of keeping several horses in your stable, all you have to do is to run your automobile down to the power station, once in a while, attach a wire, charge the battery, and there you are." Unsanitary Barricks at Munich. Munich complains of the unsanitary condition of the soldiers' barracks. A Munich paper says that the barracks of the First artillery are very un cleanly. "After meals the 600 soldiers must clean their utensils and dishes in two wooden buckets of hot water, in the court, in front of the kitchen. In a short time the water gets cold, has a greasy scum upon it, and smells terribly. After the evening meal the utensils are not washed at. all. Some of the men wipe their plates on hand towels, and a few go to the lavatories to cleanse them there in cold water as best they can under the circum "A friend of .linle hal ain 'owl room' fitted up in hi:; home. Owls of all shapes and sizes painted on the walls, you know. Big owls and little owls; wise owls and idiotic owls. Owls till you can't rest. Now he wants a suit able motto to go with his pets. Can you suggest anything?" "I know of a Scotch motto that might do." "What is it?" "'Ilcot, monl' "--Cleve land Plain Dealer. Colors for Many. Nearly 1,200,000 pounds of colors are used by the United States government annually for printing paper money, revenue and postage stamps. M USIC OF FILIPINOS. IS SUCH AS AMERICANS KNOW AND APPRECIATE. rxpert and Well-Thaghl Playees Who Have Such Woederful Iemorlee That One First Thehs They Play Solely by eae. (Special Letter.) Music with the Filipinos kolds a high place In their esteem. And it is music, such as Americans know, that particularly appeals to them. Natur ally inclined to such an accomplish ment, many of the young women, of purest Tagalo families, have received careful instruction in both insftrumen tal and vocal branches of the art, and oftentimes display not only talent,but much cultivation. In addition to the band thit exists in nearly every town, no matter how Insignificant in size, there is almost invariably a small, but capable, or chestra. Though primarily for serv ice In the churches, these orchestras are, nevertheless, available for fiestas or other purely social affairs. One hears much of the Filipino bands as being only players "by ear." This is an error. The bandsmen, in Common I with other members of the race, are undoubtedly gifted with a quick car for simple strains, and, like the =outhern negro, possess a well-devel oped faculty for harmony. It is not, however, upon these natural qualifica tions alone that their musical execu tion depends. The music of "Up the Street," "Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight," together with the score of many high-class orchestral composi tions, is for sale by music houses on the crowed Escolta. Occasionally wandering bands of musicians are seen in the smaller towns. Strollers, in the true sense of that word, they have, for their usual equipment, naught but sweet, clear noted flutes, with which to carry the air, and curious double-barreled horns -all of bamboo. Oftentimes desper ately ragged, and always barefooted, the little group strikes up strange and weird airs, the time being equally as curious as the melody. Dust beats up in little puffs from beneath their splayed feet, as the players mark the cadence; nimble fingers--sadly dirty, alas! rise and fall or flutter over the openings in the creamy-white bamboo flutes, and the quick, limpid notes of the favorite march, "Viva Pio dcl Pi lar," dart swiftly to the ear. Again they play. This time there trickles from out the flute the sweet notes of the song of the pilgrims to the shrine of Antipolo. They are the sounds of dropping water; of a crystal bell struck softly; or the clear, high notes of the scarlet tanager in the cherry trees in far away America. And the accompaniment of the larger instru ments floats the song of the pilgrims STROLLING MUSICIANS. along on even and gentle waves of bass and baritone; or sets the hot afternoon air throbbing with the deep "oomp, oomp," of the chorus of "Pto del Pilar Convalor Singular." To Abolish the Nasal Twang. Harsh voices can be easily changed to agreeable ones, says the New York Tribune. Of late years much has been said and written concerning the harsh ness of the American speaking voice, special criticism falling upon the voices of women and children. More than half the singing voice is used in speech, and the misuse of the voice in speech is accountable for many of the difficulties in singing. When schools begin systematically to train chil dren's speaking voices there will be a vast improvement in the music. This training can be given so easily and quickly that no extra time has to be al lowed for it. The quality of tone used by parents often has a decided effect upon children, and there is hardly an other influence so strong in the school room as the kind of tone used and de manded. or allowed, by the teacher. /'repard·I for E.ltergenlcies. "Manin:a, didn't .ou say last week you wanted thi c:irving knife and the chopper sharpened?" Mirs. Suburb- Indeed I did. Bless hi., little heart! How thoughtful you are! They are both so blunt as to be useless." "Well, I'll take 'em round to the cutler's for you." "How sweet of you to offer to do such things for your mamma, my little cherub. I'll wrap them up." "No, don't wrap them up. There's a boy out there waiting to lick me; but I fancy when he sees me coming he'll go home!"-Stray Stories.. Gorgeous IBadge or London's Mayor. The lord mayor of London wears a badge of office which contains dia inonds valued at $600,000. ROMANCE OF TWENTY YEAXl, cLeahmaste i Di,. Hogam' Marrt to UI3 sweethbeat. Dr. John Garrison Hogan and Mbs. Estelle Broadwell, of Cineinnati, wia be married at St. Peter's Epieopa4 church at 7:30 o'clock this evenain Rev. Dr. Short offlciating. This wil be the culmination of a pretty romaneg having its origin twenty years age, when the bride and groom went to the high school together at Morocco, Ind, and were boy and girl swoethearbs. While no formal engagement was en tered into at that time, owing to their youth, each felt bound to the other. When young Hogan left school for eol lege it was with his firm determinattoa to return as soon as he had graduated and make the pretty girl his wife. Ch cumstances drove him to the west ih search of fortune. Here he remained until in 1886, when he returned to Mb rocco on the eve of the girl's marriage to Harvey liroadwell of Cinclnnati,who was 25 years her senior. She had sup posed herself forgotten, not having heard from Dr. Hogan in four or five years, and listened to the pleadings of her admirer. Dr. Hogan again leSt home, while Mrs. Broadwell removed to Cincinnati, where she has skie lived. Six years she was a wife, and then her husband died, and for eight years she had been a widow. From the day Miss Estelle Kennedy became the bride of Mr. Broadwell until last spring, Dr. Hogan had not heard o. her, but he never married. In April, 189, Dr. M. L. Humpston of Goodland, Ind., the family physician of the Ken nedys, visited St. Louis and was the guest of Dr. Hogan, who had establish ed himself in business here. Dr. Humpston informed Dr. Hogan of the death of Mr. Broadwell and that hb widow had not remarried. When he learned of this Dr. Hogan could scaree ly wait until his guest had retired be write to his one-time sweetheart. A few days later he ,,ceived an answer. Having once lost out ny delay the do* tor was determined to know his fate at the earliest possible moment. Pack ing his valise he took a train for OCn cinnati, and at once laid siege to the heart of the widow. So vigorously di, he press his wooing that, after a viet of three days he returned to St. Loui buoyed up with the knowledge that the prize would be his. Last Thanme giving day the first week in May was selected as the time for the wedding, an dtoday will witness the culmination of the romance, the bride coming to this city to wed the man who wooe4 her when a girl.-St. Louis Globe Democrat. INFORMATION SECURED By the Preacher For a Hlaty Funeral Sermon. Man died in York county two weeks ago-this is Register Justin Leavitt's story and so it must be true-the man died, as I have stated, and they do say down in that community that he wap not just the most exemplary and mora man that ever lived. And he didn't get along very well with his relatives. But of course the relatives had to see that he was decently interred. The brother of the departed went to hunt up a minister. Told the elder what was wanted and the parson said he would be there at the hour appointed. "But this is short notice," said the minister. "The funeral is to be this afternoon. I ought to have had time to get up a sermon. I can give you only a short discourse." "That's all right," said the brother. "There ain't much you need to say. It we'd wanted lots of eloquence spilt over that fel low we'd probably sent up to New York and got a doctor of divinity. But you needn't be afraid that you won't fill the bill all right up to our house. We don't want nothin' high priced." The minister was a little set back, but he took a pencil and sheet of paper and said: "I'll have to have a few points to build a sermon on. How did the de ceased die? Was he resigned? Had he made his peace?" "lie (lied of delirium tremens," said the brother gruffly. This was more of a set-back. But the minister persevered. "How did he live? Did he- " The brother slam med on his hat and started for the door. "He lived jest as he died--lilb a - - fool."-Cincinnati Enquirer. Temper of Samoans. The German flag was hoisted at Apia, Samoa, on March 1. Dr. W. H. Soll, who has been appointed governor of Samoa, and Capt. Emsman of the Cor moran took the leading part in the ceremony. Capt. Tilley of the United States transport Arbarenda and United States Consul-General Osborn were present. About 5,000 natives were present. Mataafa, the high chief, spoke in a peaceful strain, but his followers came to the ceremony armed with head-cutting knives, axes and rifles, and were threatening in their de meanor toward the followers of Malie toa-''amasese. The ittier chief saw trouble brewing and sent the more dangerous of his followers home, and through his exertions Ie:ce was main t:ailcd. The ni'w govwrnor will have to handle the natives with great care if further warfare is to be avoided, for it was quite evident from the tem per of th'e natives present at the cere mony that the old feeling of enmity Is by no means stamped out.-Chicago Record. fis Mallcous Motive. "Here's an item," said the senior partner, "that states that 140,000 words an hour were recently sent by tele graph from Chicago to Milwaukee. "Clip that out," said the junior. "I want to take it home and give it to my wife. It will make her whist club feel cheap."-Cleveland Plata Dealer.