If Pays to Advertise In the Rising Son
Didn't Follow Instructions.
One of the modern schemes of phys
ical development that has won favor
Is a systematic method of breathing.
A certain Inquirer who was Interested
In the principals of this system re
cently wrote pamphlet. One of the
rules on the first page read as follows:
"After the morning bath take a deep
breath, retain it as long as possible,
then slowly expire."
He decided not to try the system.
UP Against the Horses.
Farmer Korntop Our Hiram's
writ In" agin from YarvarJ fur more
money fur books.
Mrs. Korntop Air ye Bure, Silas,
fhAf tin roollv vnnlg that tnnnov fur
V ', v '
Farmer Korntop Yaas, he says he'll
take his oath every cent I send him
h goes to the bookmakers.
Preparing for the Wedding.
""f" suppose," said the facetious
otvs ft twAW eunlAhtiiv slrmm siniABfl
W ' Oil sialics tt a i i i 3 m v vi iubii as vsj
'tt a carpet from the church door to the
''.i.'f curb, "that's the high raod to heaven
fy you're fixing there."
'j$tfi "No," replied the man, "this Is
( merely a- bridal path."
' From Reparta.
f Mrs8tubbs John, there must be an
.ij '2 extraordinary amount of work la the
AlffaAifr HAhartmanti In Waatitno'tnn.
l How docs Uncle Sam get it straighten-
':, d out?
Mr. Stubbs Well, Maria, some of it
( Is too crooked to be straightened out
An Aid to Memory.
The Sword Swallower Who
;that knot in the boa constrictor
The Albino The snake charmer.
: She wanted to remember something.
-i Our idea of a prominent citizen Is
one who does not want to be post
Secret cf Happiness.
Bounder You seem, to be remark
,','iV,' wui; ' unyyj wui a a wot
What's the explanation? '
Rounder My wife is a firm be
liever In fairy stories.
The One Thing.
Citlman Didn't you suburbanites
grow anything in your gardens this
Subbubs Well, there was one thing
that we all grew, but that was early
in the season.
Citlman What was that?
Money talks, and a jack-pot speaks
by the card.
Subbubs I got a vague sort of im
pression that there was something
new about your house as I passed it
Backlog O,! It's that new "For
Sale" sign. The one I've had up for
the past four years got so weather
beaten, you know.
A man who does not care what you
have been in the past does not care
what you will be in the future.
Some people manufacture crosses
for the satifaction of thinking that
they are earning crowns by carrying
'I The wife of a man who parts his hair
in the middle is reasonably sure to be
i the better two-thirds of tho combine.
"The Bright Side.
"So you're a veteran of the rebel
: lion?" said the young man, adtniring
. ly "Tho war clouds were thick about
' - you when you were a youth, weren't
O'l "Yes," replied the veteran, as he
indorsed tho pension voucher' be
' 1 wished to have cashed; but they all
Iliad their silver lining."
A Not for Him.
'j Mrs Newllwed It's just brutal of
. you to call it "this stuff." You said
'' you'd be glad if I baked my own
Mr. Newllwed Yes, but I didn't
ay I wanted you to bake mine.
Chicago men form a syndicate to
buy second-hand warships and dla
pose of them to ten Russian govern
A FEW HINTS TO LADIES ON THE
ART OF DRESSING WELL.
Mrs. Mamie Devaul- Vincent lias
opened her school of dress making
and ladles tailoring at 1228 Walnut
street for the benefit of our girls and
ladies and hope to have a large en
rollment this year. The opportunity
has never before presented Itself to
our people in Kansas City. Madam
Vincent most cordially invite all her
friends and acquaintances to visit and
Inspect the work being done. First
class work Is strictly guaranteed.
g. 2,eSMOiarA2sor-A'e. . m m mm
For several years past Kansas City
has been rid of Negro fake news
papers. Very recently, however, one
has been launched forth by several
would-be journalists and placed in the
hands of H. M. Harris who operated
in Joplln several years ago where he
had the lid put on him. He came to
this city recently and Is alleged so
licited money from some of our white
business men to go to New York to
represent Kansas City at the Conven
tlon of the Negro Business League,
He aays that the train which he
started -on got wrecked and he had
to return without doing the "repre
senting" act The Rising Son wishes
to advise that In its opinion this indi
vldual does not represent the Negro.
The less polUh a man has the more
reflections he is apt to cast
Don't give your friends indigestion
by trying to poke people you like down
When a thunderstorm comes np rain
usually comes down.
It takes a man with sense to make
a dollar go a long way.
Ixve may be blind, but unfortunate
ly It's neither deaf nor dumb.
In covering up his tracks a man of
ten makes a lot more while doing it.
Wise men admire clever women, but
It Is usually the silly ones they marry.
One way to acquire knowledge ot
human nature is to lend your friends
If wishes were automobiles beggars
would be arrested for exceeding the
But few people realize the fact that
experience Is a good teacher until
after they get too old to learn.
Our Idea of an ingrate is a man who
refuses to laugh at tho stories of an
other man who is paying for his din
A married woman's Idea of a gen
unlne hero is a man who hands his pay
envelope over to his wife every week
Father Gonpon Hat Shaved.
Father Gonpon, of St. Petersburg, Is
reported to be greatly changed In his
appearance, his long, luxuriant chest
nut hair and flowing beard having
been shorn. He is now clean shaven
except for a small, bristly mustache.
His hair is cropped close, like a prize
fighter's; his complexion is palo and
sallow, his health delicate and his
eyes bright and feverish, lie is ro
ported to be studying French and
'M;i." said the little boy, rushing In
the kitchen, "Mrs. Prune next door
wants to borrow your flatlrons. Says
sho wants to throw them at a cat."
"The nerve of It," replied his mother
"Hut that ain't the worst of It, ma."
"It is our cat that she wants to
throw them at."
Dolly And when our auto was
speeding like the wind, just to think
ot his proposing to me!
Dorothy I'm not surprised. They
say running an automibllo makes a
"I declare." remarked the duck, "if
that little chick Isn't trying to talk
already but it doesn't amount to
"No," replied the young rooster,
scornfully, "all hit talk is 'cheep.' "
for It Reaches More
KANSAS CJTY! MO.,
Often the Case.
"Poor Smallpuy's marriage'
proved an utter failure."
"What's the matter? . Souldn't he
support his wife in the stylo bhe had
been accustomed to?"
"Yes; but he couldn't support her In
the style she had been accustomed to
read about In trashy novels."
"One of those deaf mutes Is trying
to strike the other," said a bystander,
"No, he isn't," explained the police
man," he talks with his hands, and is
only using a little strong language."
Detroit Free Press.
He Of course, there's a big differ
ence between a botanist and a florist.
She Is there, really?
He Yes; a botanist one who
knows all about flowers and the florist
Is one who knows all about the prices
people will pay.
Has Something to Look Up To.
"N. Peck is eight inches shorter
than his wife."
"I suppose he doesn't like It very
well, does he?"
"Oh, he doesn't mind it much. He
says he prefers to take his higher
critcism that way.' ,
Citlman Did you lost much by the
fire out at your house?
Subbubs Two quarts of good old
Citlman Was that all?
Subbubs Yes, you see, only about
hal fof our volunteer fire company got
Washington Star: "Have you never
given any thought to what posterity
will say about you?" "No," answered
Senator Sorghum; "I long ago arrived
at the conclusion that posterity can
not make you as much trouble as one
of your next-door neighbors."
A man across the river has run away
from his wife because an expected In
fant prved to be twins. Let him keep
out of Mr. Roosevelt's path while Mr.
Roosevelt Is wearing his repeating
rifle, that's all. Brooklyn Eagle.
Canaries, English sparrows and par
rots are the only birds whose songs
are fully satisfying, and a very little
of them will give more than full satis
faction. The Strangett Flag.
The strangest flag under which man
ever fought is that of the Macedonian
Insurgents. It is red on one side and
black on the other.
When Ixve takes up the harp of
life the neighbors still complain be
cause the airs are all sentimental.
There are a lot of things that a
man would not want half so much
if he thotmht there was any chance
of getting them.
When a girl has a corn that causes
her to limp sho always apologizes by
saying Bhe must have twisted her
A man in public life can't make peo.
pie believe he Is honest even by going
to church every Sunday.
Taxing bachelors may not boost the
matrimonial game, but it is apt to en
After reciting "Curfew Shall Not
Ring Tonight" nt school a girl iniag
lues she Is a born elocutionist.
A man's bump of Iningtnatlon must
lie well developed to enable him to
write an interesting love letter.
Even nn old man can win n woman's
love and keep It, If bo Isn't jealous.
When the devil cannot arrive In time
he sends a woman on before him.
What the world needs Is more work
ers and fewer dreamers.
Even a small balance In tho bank
Indicates a well-banaced man.
A polished gentleman Isn't .neces
sarlly a smooth article.
Homes of Colored People than any othei Paper
RIDAY, OCT. IS, 1!05.
It Is not a little astonishing to find
what a number of seaweeds are really
edible and nourishing, says The Lan
cet. Perhaps the best known example
Isj this country is laver, which Is a
khid of stew made from a weed, an
atpa. The laver made on the Devon
shire1 coast and to be found in tome
London shops la excellent.
Hold Farm Since 1300.
Recently the stock was sold on a
farm In Dumfriesshire, Scotland,
which had been held by a family nam
ed Moffat since the year 13 J. when
King Robert Bruce made a grant of
the land to the Moffat. They held It
for soft vun as owners, and the rest
of the time as tenants of the Dukes of
:' Commit Sport by Proxy.
"Vandal." a well known writer on
ports, said In a recent Issue of the
London Exprest: "The sports or tills
country are absolutely rotten un
sound to the core. This nation it no
longer a nation of sportsmen. It It s
nation of odds-taking people who com
mit sport by proxy."
Self-Wlnding Alarm Clock.
1 Joaenh Blvthe. a resident of Ches
ter. Pa., has recently obtained a pat
ent on a self-winding alarm clock,
vMch Is said to have several very
novel features. The winding it done
by electricity and when once set will
ring every day at the same hour If de
Kipling at Critic.
Here It Rudyard Kipling's advice to
an author who submitted a story for
his criticism: "Tear out second chap
ter and scatter broadeast. Change
name of hero and name of story; then
get down to business and rewrite the
whole thing." Atlanta Constitution.
Black Rot In Cabbage.
Soaking the seed for fifteen min
utes in a l:inoo corrosive sublimate
solution or In a 0.4 per cent formalin
solution Just before planting Is sug
gested as a cheap anil effective meant
of destroying the germs upon the
Firemen Start a Blaze.
When the volunteer tire department
of Tunbrldge Wells, England, was on
parade a spark from one of the En
gines set fire to a haystack, and the
fire burned Itself out, fur the volun
teers proved unable to extinguish It.
Many Schools in Hong Kong.
For Its size Hong Kong has an
enormous number of si hoots. The
population of the island is about 3.10.
(iimi and there are ovpr loo schools,
the groat, majority of which are under
Church in Farmyard.
Kcw more curious places fur a
church could be found than one at
Soiuhnm Delabere. Eng.. which stands
in the middle of a farmyard. The only
means of cn'rance Is by passing
through tho yard.
J. PI lie leave W'U .ui'lilng wti-n lie
I :eKd of Hie fall-'-il. irlrt. who rrloil.
ill, yon. lie did'" A txl I IJ imnii
Put w- it?" ' It'1 l fl Hi' nn oiphiiu,
Pivri in.l t.. ;i,Ti-r.
Glrlt' Beit Safeguard.
Let us teach our daughters that
life i" not only tennis ami parlies I,ct
us endow tk in with the best of In
pii run ces -- a profession at their fing
ers' ends. Woman.
Pills Cause Peritonitis.
Heath from peritonitis, duo to ex
cessive taking of pills, was slated to
be the cause of a woman's death at a
Uri-iol (England) Inquest.
British Railroadt Well Manned.
American railroads have six em
ployes for every mile of track and
the British roads have twenty-eight.
Income of Oiiford College.
The Income of Oxford University Is
slightly under $350,000 s year.
HEN WILSON IN "i ROUBLE.
Icandal Disturbs Serenity of Inhabi
tants of Bingvil e.
It Is rumored on reiiah.e authority
l.nt Hen Wilson has lefl bis wife
icnin owing to some mar. la I trouble
Mween them. This Is lot the first
Ime Hen and Ssr Ann have had mar
tal trouble. The ! IM. tinio before this
Sary Ann struck Hln wl'.n a rolling
nln above the left eye and be went out
the bouse and dil not return for
teveral weeks. Son e snys he went
10 the Co. seat and ipent most of his
Ime In a hospital. Finally no returned
ome a sadder and Riser man anil
ilm and Sary Ann made i,p ngnin and
darted out together to try to live a
lilferent life with fie dive of peace
lerched above Ihelf hearthstone, a
foil might say.
Hut now ruction nwlft and terrible
las broken out In their midst again.
Ve got this straigbt or we wouldn't
ay anything about It In print. Mrs.
Wilson herself told Mrs. ("aniline
looper that lien had left home fol
owed by all the cooking utensils in
ne kitchen. Mrs. Hooper told It to
bn Wade's wife and Hen Wade's wlf
old It to Mrs. Widow Henderson w he
Sary Ann has a quick temper and
hen she gels mad there soms to be
mining else to do but for Hen to dig
mi for a while and wait until the
'IoikIh roll by. What thi trouble was
his time was that Hen went right into
:he house like n dtirn fool and set his
-elf down on a new sofa pillow which
Mrs. Wilson had Jast finished. Mrs.
Wilson staled that lien might think
hat sofa pillows were made to sit on,
'nit be was mlstaben. Men's where
shouts Is at present unknown "Itlng
Hie Hugle Items-' In the Huston I'ost.
ARTIST MET HER IDOL.
John Rutkin't Self Introduction to Hit
The London On, look tells a pretty
rlory of the late John Hnskln. artist,
author, reformer, which snows thai
coiirtly and chivalric gentleman and
great writer in a idayful mood :
Mr. Ruskin wt, takirg a mo: ninv
milk down the rend Just In front ot
Itruutwood. when he snw a laily seat
d on a camp sin d making a sketch
if the bouse, and. with a courteous
race which was Intensely his own. he
addressed her. Inquiring her reason
for rhoosli g the house In question -her
"It is the lions of the famous John
Ituskin," she Irankly asked
"Have you met lluskln?' she was
' No Indeed." t he replied. ' If I ha.'.
I would have d-'i-med ii one of tln
create") privilege.- of my life"
"Then, madam. If you care to fo!
low me, f will show him to vou "
In n twinkling the .tool -ltul easel
wi re packed up and the aril-t eai'erlv
followed the iMiidi-. T' her surprisfl
ind cralifii ation. Ve led her nn tn th
house, and eiti-iing bade ln t;nest
follow, whi'h she leaiM'y i'id Mn
Hatched 11, e s t riiliL'cr il.lo the draw
ill!- room; II i n, p'acinc hi-. Lack to the
In place a f.im'bar attl'ude, he ex
''aniicd. to ll.e amaeii:' t t o his com
I i.iilon :
"Now. what i'o you tliii k of Hus
From "TH. f.-inur."
II" Will lulll I 'l' I il" "' ' ' 11 '
-:ie lli 1,1-1 .1 iv .if i -"i '
I Ii.- !l-l il.-ii I: il i nf .1 1 e .
Ini 1 1 uiti-i n'l I .i 1 1 . - -
II. Phi- I . . a - n ' Inn
I .i i. s l i "I III- III:' - !' I '
,1 n,-i i in .1 il
Th rtpiini ,.f p. pn-o tin' s 'Prre
I I.,' I.V-il i i . I i - I i H i ' ,! . m ik
I'll- I.II'VM II id " .' .'
A i,, I I. in f,.i Mr.' - il i". H.I.- 1 r .
I'll 1. 1 'In en! V. P I" ' I w i'l- ' "I
inil tun P. i ilml lii'l ' I. in: ' '!"
I.Y In ri' I I. lit I H.K'I in I (il I
ypl'ils IPi (.'a''tv nn ntt. i ' .i'
-i It In dim II r.iiil.l em l
"I II.- I'f.i.ni I r i.N. 4 t : !' li.'-'l
Vii I, iii P. i 1 1 - . a i..' II.' I 1 1
orn.- mwiii'Ms ai. "h' I' ! I "!.
In slP ,,ik..l lif)lll,i 1 f Tsi 'lil " p'.HI'lJ
sn Pir. S'i ilm. u 'iP!v a'' 'I
I I,- PiM ln-1 l.ii.k P il.iilli i nl.d'
In. p is lli i.,- I i.f IPN li. il. .
'I'l. Cn-cir Pin Ilium (pi'i.c l, ii lli'in'
'I rnl.llv wuc-l. so d.-aillv fall
' Klurl fur Sniil .ilni wm, ling llif
IP i N Hie Pivi'llin si In ili alii,
rinif purls ii"! il'" Willi e n ilia: l'i '.it i;
If ill Ik m nly with Hint foiirful l.l.i'un.
riuit hue whl'li haunts II in tin; turns.
Kpi I'sslun hint ii i ciIiiik my.
A Klpti'd Main hovering maud d'-'-.iv.
I'lic fiirewill Poiim of KicII'ik past fiwar!
siKirk ef Hihi flarnr, piT.-tia.i r of li.nvn
Which glinrrn Put wninm no rroi lf
tu-i ispt-d rat th.
In the State.
A Vrrni-h conn has .Pn ld. il thnt since
tin" Shah nf IVtslu Is a Hini'iiliiii lu wi-i.
nut luiy the i-iinriniiiis drills runtrtu'led
hy lilni In Purl.
The Whiih he Is n lucky mini.
Ami so Is any KIiik
VYhu tlnfsn'l huve to pnv Ids bills-
nh. wlin I n PI. suit HiIiik'
Kor he may li'itully t'litntiiaud
CelllTtlll h In till? WIHHIS
And hIkh "ii K . Mix Mujexty
Please vend ureiiiiii Hi" Kimda."
Tin t'wr h I n liu-ky niHn.
Though no imr IhlnKK of lliftt,
Zt co'iIm a intlllim friiiii'H u day
Ti Keep itnina fat.
And there N unite it sinking fund
On liallle-fhlpn. tiny sn ;
But Nli'liulim alia Mil ailfii.
llo dnnin t liuvu lu pay.
"tlrBnn are lurky men.
And proof for IPU I II Prlng,
Since her, nci-ordltig to tliti myth,
Kuril rlllicn h a Kins
And tunc a monarch m-eil not fevd
The di'bt colU'ilor'H mill
Hurrah, hurmh! next Kmurdiiy
I II Jump my Inundry Pill!
Wallace Irwin In New Yark tllolia.
Indis's Odd Wsys.
A famous traveling correspondent
says that the people In tho southern
provinces of India do everything on
the ground. They never us chairs or
bencher, but always squat upon ths
floor, and all their work Is done upon
Carpenters have no benches, and if
they plane a board they place It on
the earth before them and hold It fast
with their feet. The blacksmith has
his anvil on the floor; the goldsmith,
the tailor and even the printer uka
the Moor for benches, and It la the
desk nf the letter-writer and the boole
It looks queer to sen a printer
squatting before a case of type and
even queerer to seo a person writing
letters with a block of paper spread
out before, him on tho ground. Hut
that Is the Hindu custom.
You And It everywhere throughout
.ndln, Just r you will And everybody,
men, women and children, carrying
loads, no matter how light or how
heavy, upon their heads. If an errand
boy Is sei.t with a parcel he never
touches It with his hands, but Invar
iably carries It on the top of his tur
ban. The other morning I counted
seven young chaps with "shilling
morning faces" on their way to school,
every one of them with his hooka and
slain upon his head.
Masons' helpers, who nre mostly
women, carry bricks and mortar upon
i heir heads Instead of lu hods, on
"elr shoulders, and It Is remarkalil"
what heavy loads their spines will sup
port. At the railway stations all the lug
gage and freight Is carried the samo
way. The necks and hacks of the na
tives are developed at ft very early
If a porter can cet assistance to
hoist It to the top nf his liead, lie will
stagger along under liny burden all
ritlil. 1 have Seen eight men under n
i rai d piano and two men under a big
American roller top desk, and i' f'al
rut la, where one of Hie si reel railway
companies was extending It tracks,
lie workmen carried I he rails upon
tlu lr heads.
Rip's Record Beaten.
I eoiioia Itoiiial'ln. the wife of a farm
hand at Vibsi-b nso, m ar ISurgos,
J'l ain. has awaki ue. from a Uanco
which has lasted thiityone years.
The eve has been Uleier the t!'i'-0
observation ef n,i du al expetis during
Hie whole i.f that time, and by their
Instruction liquid food was ngulurly
.nliiiinisii red hy a tube placid in tho
lliull'h of the sleeping Wim illl.
At tinns it was believed that the
Aouian was wal.iuu, ami various
means were employed to residue her to
ciilKciousliess, bill I hey laili d.
She bus now n-raiii' il her sense
but cannot be pci-Miai'i d that she ha.
slept fur years. A curious feature ot
til" case Is that she rcmcmht is the in
cidents of l er girlhood up to the time
that she fell Into the trance.
I ler body Is fairly well i.ourlshed,
but her hair has turned while. On
being shown a mirror the woman
shrieked with horror and declared that
the Image It reflected was not her
own. Philadelphia North American.
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