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HAD A FELLOW FEELING.
Grafter Ready with Offer of Aid to ‘Busted" Sport. Hard luck had persistently followed him. The little Ivory ball would not drop on the right number; if be bet on black, red was sure to turn up, and vice versa. He sauntered over to the faro table and invested his remaining (5 only to see it go the way of his other bills. When he left the gam bling place at midnight, he bad Just two nickels in his possession. On bis way to the trolley car, at Third avenue and Forty-second street, be passed the Grand Central station. Just outside the main entrance stood a well-dressed young man, who ac costed the “busted" sport with: “Say, friend. I'm up against it Been down here seeing the sights and went broke. I need ten cents more to pay my fare back to Nyack. Can you stake me?" With a pitying smile, the sport drew forth bis two remaining nickels. "That's all I have," he said. 'Tve been up against 11. 100. If 1 give you this ten cents. I'll have to foot It heme." The well-dressed man chuckled. "Is this on the level? " he asked. "Surest thing you know." replied the aport. “Well, say. I ll lend you a half if you want it. The graft has been good to night." and the well-dressed young man hauled out a handful of coins, se lected two quarters from the assort ment, and proffered them to the sport. New York Free* IN PRAISE OF ABSTINENCE. Woman's Witty Remark Oeaerved to Have Made a Convert. 'The moat brilliant woman In Rome." »a!d a cosmopolitan 'la the Marquise de Monatlers-Merln vine. She la the daughter of the late W. 8. Caldwell of Kentucky. "The Marquise de Monatlers-Merln vllle, besides being brilliant, la of a religious, spiritual turn of mind. She hates all manner of excess, and cape dally she hales excess In drinking "A young English baronet at tempted at dinner one evening to quli Mme da Monatlers-Merln vllle a little on her rigid and Puritanical Ideas. Uftlng up a glass of crisp champagne, be said; " 'What harm madam, can ensue from a drink so beautiful and clean T' '"Much harm,' replied the marquise gravely. " 'Ah. no,' said the Englishman. "Wine Is good. It Is a lonic. It makes blood. It makes you fat.' "'t have seen It make you lean,' said the marquise, and, as the Eng lishman. puttied, looked at her with elevated brows, she smiled, and add ed : *' 'On your stick.' " Has No Corner. "The old fallacy that every man la Boaton Is singly saturated with learn ing no longer bothers my mind," said an agent fur a Massachusetts Arm the other day. "I receive each week two or three doien letters from the home office and they are written hy live or •It different men heads of different eiecntlve departments. Now. I also get letter* from all parts of the West, hut In the Boston letters I And more bad grammar, more miserable rhetoric and more misspelled words In ten letters than I do In 100 written hy Western people of the same slsndsrd of general Intelligence. You don't want to think the Hub has a corner on education,” THE STATESMAN. DENVER, COLORADO. AN AMBUSCADE. Hnftr In Kissing Tour Wife If Ton De ; It et the Wrong Tine. "You muat have ben trying to eat a buxzeaw In motion," eald the friend to tbe man who b&an't been married long. "Not as bad as that, but nearly," be responded, as be tenderly rubbed tbe ecara that adorned bis mouth and chin. "Been seeing bow far you could slide on your face?’’ asked tbe friend, anx iously. "No. Say! For heaven's sake. If you will say nothing to anyone I'll tall you how it happened. Y’ou know my wife and I have bean married lust long enough to have most of the gloss rubbed oil from the honeymoon? In fact, have arrived at that point where it take things as a matter of course, and realise that there are others In this world as well as ourselves. "Well, the other morning It suddenly dawned upon me that I hadn't kissed her for a whole week, and my conscience smote me. Even now, I told myself, she may be crying her eyes out, under the Impression that I love her no longer. 1 remembered how we had promised each other daring our boney mon that our married life would be one long, sweet dream, with the honey moon as a basis. I chided myself for my Indifference and determined to make amends at once. "Well, I looked my wife up and found her in her room doing up her hair before a mirror. Stepping Quickly forward, with all the ardor of my courtship days I threw my arm about her and planted a kiss upon her lips. At least such was my Inten lion; but Instead, I ran my mouth Into a bristling array of hairpins that shs had stuck between her Ups. If then were any doubts before about the boneymon being over, there was nonn when the lady got her mouth free o’ hairpins and aald what she had to say on the subject "The next time I kiss my wife I am going to reconnolter the Held In force before attacking.—Detroit Free Press. Strange Charitable Bequest. Many persona who wish to bestow charily have strange ways of carrying out their ideas. Some years ago an Englishman named James Moss left |SOO to be Invested In land, the rent of which was to provide five gowns, according to the will, “of a sad blue color” f«.r as many aged and poor men living In the town. The Main Thing. "A village client of mine hod been trying through me for seven years to collect a claim against the govern ment." said the lawyer, "and at last the claim was allowed and 1 received a check for >B.OOO. "As the man was poor I knew that this would be a great windfall for him and It was wlih considerable ex ultation that I put the check In my pocket and started for the house. The man himself was away somewhere, but as his wife answered my knock I showed her the cheek and called out: "'At last, Mrs. Davis—at Ixal!’ •“What la It?" she asked. " The claim has been allowed and here is a check for 18,000." "'Yes, I see," she answered, "but please don't talk quite so loud or you will wake the haby tin!"" Infallibly. There Ir no place In a woman‘l room lo jut a note or a trinket so she will see It tint. However, put it on her mirror and she will see It second. —New Orleans Pieavune. wim ner Drains and her pen to right the wrongs that are Inflicted upon her “shut-in” countrywomen by their “trus tees.” who so often defraud them of their wealth. A great step toward the success of her efforts has been accom plished recently, for she has been ap pointed by the Bengal government as legal adviser to Purdah women in the administration of her estates. The Soft Answer. At a certain inn on the fashionable eastern shore of Massachusetts, the proprietor is no.ed for his easy-going disposition and his lisp. It happened that the coffee was never Just right and the women guests, after a piut/.a talk, finally went to the proprietor and complained. He promised to have the matter looked Into at once. A week passed with no noticeable improve ment, so complaint was again made. Said one of the women: “Really, Mr S . the coffee was worse than eve this morning.'' "Ve?,'' chimed in another, even worse than in Nice, where they ho: chicory and call It coffee I " “And I’ve Jus! had to take chocolau —which I detest!" added the th;r matron. Finally the proprietor turned. v,i:l bis affable smile and lisp, and re marked: “Was it that had, weally? Well, am glad I took tea." THE WESTERN COLLEGE Macon, - - - Missouri Tba •tdut ChrWltn trurtttirtjon hn tba Wnl It, training a t n4 tharauglk tu graduitaa Uk» high ranta COURSES OP STUDYi ACADEMIC (Classical and Scientific) Fr«£'ir»i tor taacXiafc taiiiui and profaaitoaal Ufa. ENGLISH PREPARATORY Thortm*X fouidatlas MC ta IX, ataseatnr? Xll*W BUSINESS Eabreoaa SootVarafia Hartlaf ui riyaaiWi [ MUSICAL Is«tnwUo» m nut a mi Orm u 4 ta Toaal Caftan Bl uraoix MANUAL. TRAINING THEOLOGICAL. rrapara, aOaUal praaaXan ui aliauuj yrttaan. ADVANTAGES I CbrtiUaa taaotyi) iiplralld taflaanaai baaftkM fcaaMaai araotlcal aoanaa M Ks<n knr ntu Fall Term Begins 2d Monday In September var ps«l taftinpxttwi aoesolt US'?. I. a. FORD, au UTF. W. & (JLA.DWCN, na graaldt&t board. Colorado Bpnaga, Oata. For oataktcva and pdfttßUua, artta PRXanJSWT wot LiiUCIN BCBDOOI, XI.KB, What "So Long" Means. “You may have wondered, perhaps how the slang expression, ‘so long, came to he so generally used," said > Columbia college lecturer the othei day. “It is usually used in closing a conversation, and is simply a form ol good-by. The Norwegians brought il to this country. In that land of the midnight sun, 'saa laeng' is a commot form of farewell. It means the sama as the ‘au revolr’ of the French Among the early settlers in America were many Norwegians, and lha phrase was picked up from them. They pronounce it with the 'g’ soften ed and accompany it by a wave of tha hand OEN j n Jtt