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ON THE OULD SOD.
Two Good Stories That Come From the Emerald Isle. In his ' Reminiscences of an Irish Land Agent," the author. “Sam" Hus sey. tell! of one of the earliest pri vate carriages used In Kerry. "The vehiciq In question had just been pur chased by a cermln Miss Mullins, who regarded It on its arrival with almost sacred awe. A dance in the neigh borhood seemed an appropriate oppor tunity for Impressing the county with her newly acquired grandeur, but the night proving wet, she Insisted on reverting to a former mode of pro gression and rode pillion behind her coachman. The result was that she caught a violent chill, which turned to pneumonia. When her relatives were assembled round her deathbed, the old lady exclaimed, between her last gasps for breath: 'Thank God ! never took out the carriage that wet night.’ '■ Another tale goo* back to the year MIS. »h»n Napoleon escaped from Elba Mr Hussey says: "In Kerry the farmer* bad been an extra long time fattening up their pigs. After the peace that followed Napolcon’l defeat and exile prices all fell and though the farmers were reluctant they had to yield to circumstances. One day th« dealers were buying at extremely low rate* In Tralee market, w hen the post man brought the news that Napoleon had escaped Irom Elba. Instantly all the farmers broke off Heir bargains and proceeded to start homeward v. lib their awlne, shouting Hurrah for Honey that rose the plgel' " Pulled Off Santa's Mask. It tu a aialwar! Irish woman, ag grieved and sggre. she. that recently entered the office of a man of law in the Keaper block In quest of redress. “He got the fright of hla life, me lit tle boy did." she said "You see, air. I was just takin' him through the store, when we kem across one of them fool Snnty Clauv.es. dhressed in red. with a big while beard, an’ th* -.nnocent child—ho'a only two years last fail — asked me to lift him up til he'd see Snnty. Whin I lifted him he grabbed the white whiskers and pulled, an' whlakors an' false fare an' all camo off. an' whin the poor child saw the man's own fare, as cross an' ugly as the dlcil, he had a regular 111 Now, I think Ihlm store people should have made their fool Saulys stick on their false farm and whiskers light snd sthrong with lacks or glue or some thing. so ss not to he dhrlvin' Inno cent child her Into convnlslons, an' I think I ought to get damages." The lawyer pondered for a few mo ments. "I think, ms'am." he said, "Ifa a case of damnum ahsque Injuria." "That's what I lowld them, sir," em phatically declared the visitor; "yes, and I said a great deal worse than that to them!"—Chicago Inter Ocean. How Shaw Writes His Plays. Sir I'harlc* Wyndhnm it oily lold nit Interviewer of his first meeting with George Bernard. Shaw. "In those days," he says. "Shaw would not have a bit of linen about him. He wore soft shirts and long, flowing ties, which, with his tawny hair and long, red beard, gave him the appearance of a veritable viking Well, he came In and sat down al !*>« table. Then ho put his hand Into his right trousers pocket and slowly drew out a small pocket memorandum book; then he dug Into the left tide Pocket and THE STATESMAN, DENVER, COLORADO. brought out another. 1 waited. He thrust bis hand Into a coat poctiet and Ashed out another of the little books, then still another and anoth er. Finally he paused In his explo rations. looked over at me and said; I suppose you v e surprised to see all these little pocket books. The fact Is. however, 1 write my plays in them white riding around London on top of a bus.’ ” Work. For every suffering of sense For sadder mental Impotence. There Is a certain recompense In work. When Penury would Vision kill. ’Mid lassitude of flesh or will. O keep this slogan ringing still. To work. There lurks no conjury of Fate. No sp.der-web of human hate. But thou canst shatter—only wait And work. Thine enemies are all within— Deliverance must there begin— A roue thee. Boul, and thou shall win By work. Thy triumph from Its Anal height. May rimer > >nv comrade In hi* light Dispel his ehsdow-wlth the light Of wotk. Krnest Neal I.jon In Pittsburg Chron icle. Why He Wanted Time. Four year old Freddie had a visit the other day from his live year old cousin Walter, and the two small boys were playing marbles In Freddie’s yard, when Freddie’s mother called him to go to bed. The little feUow begged for Just a minute more, and several times It was granted. Finally his mother become Insistent, and the rmall boy came to her holding out a bag full of marbles. "Mother.’ he said, "if you will give me only a minute or two more I’ll send him heme busted, and you can have half the marbles.” Ancient Forks. A London Jeweler has made a col lection of ancient forks need in Eng land, which show some little known facte about the table manner* of a few centuries ago The forks, which are of solid silver, date from he six teenlh century. In many cases the designs In all this time have scarcely varied in any detail, and the forks look like I bos*' which might be bought today The old forks were a great luxury In Ibelr lime and were only used by the aristocracy. No Trouble About Prayers. "Mother." cried six-year-old frank, eagerly. "I «anl Jack here to aUy all night. so we can get our sled; om early." No. Frank; purre wouldn't stay if eke had the trouble of taking care of another boy," replied the parent "I don't see what trouble Jack * ould be." grumbled Frank. "He washes and dresses himself, and ho doesn't say any prayers.” Street Car Manners. A couple of gaudily dressed womei of most ordinary type arc nested In e cable car. Indifferent to everything bn themiclrea one of th« pair bnldln her ntnhrelia planted firmly across II passageway. The conductor. In n aponse to a signal from the motormar hastens to the front door, to be pltehei headfirst over the obstructing mi dlura, as Ihe unconcerned cauae of th accident turns to her companion w:t a scornful loss of her hesd. The a* ' ward baste!"—New yorb Tribune Denver Professionals The Statesman takes pleasure in introducing the following colored professionals and recommends them as competent in their lines. Show yourself a race lover by patronizing them. Be a booster. Geo. W. COFFEY M.D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. !9 to 11 *. m. 2 to 4 p. m. 6:30 to 8 p. m. Diseases of the Ear. Nose and Throat a Specialty. PHONE BLACK 647 Near Champa 913 21 st St. Denver JOS. H. STUART Lawyer. Practises in All Courts. Office 329 Kittredge Bldg. Cor. 16th and Glenarru. Ites. 1123 Welton St. Examining abstracts of title, and drawing up legal docu ments given careful attention Dr. E. L. FAULKNER, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON ( 8:30 U. 10:30 a. m Hours s 1 to 4 p. m. ( 1 to 8 p. m. 0 10in II a. m. Diseases of Women and Children. A Specialty. : RES. OLIVE 1113. PHONE OFFICE MAIN 4956. 1914 Arapahoe St. Denver DR. W. J. COTTRELL. PHYSICIAN and SUEGEON of wont»n a Sp<K-i»ltj. V e TO 11 A. M Office Hours \ a to a p. *. crto • p w Sunday, J to 3 p. m. Phone 3»o«-main Phon® h®tw®«n oflic® hoar? 1184 Main. 1020 19th Street, near Arapahoe St. OFFICE ( 9 TO Mam. 49-60 GOOD RLS HOURS i I TO 4 P.M. Tti.pio sob, I 7 TO 8 p.h. DR. P. E SPRATLIN. Residence: 2226 Clarkaon street. Telephone York 13 TRADE GUILDS OF CHINA. Employers and Employes Are in Gloss Combinations. A recently published report of ex- Consul General McWade of Canton, China, gives some interesting details of the industrial conditions of China and, incidentally, of the labor union system of that country. The laborers work long hours and their meals are supplied by the employer. Their food consists of rice, partaken of twice a day, with now and then a few vege tables or pieces of salt fish or pork as a relish. Tea is also furnished to them In unlimited quantities. They begin work' as soon as daylight ap pears and continue until between 8 and 9 o’clock at night, the recent in troduction of kerosene oil lengthening their hours of labor. The workman eats and sleeps in the shop where ho is employed. Not only do the male workers have a trade? union or guild of their own, but po also have the employers. To these guilds are referred all disputed questions of labor and food, which, as a rule, are amicably settled. The op eratives seem to take it for granted that their employers can properly | claim every moment of their time i from early morning until night, unless about thirty minutes set apart for each meal of rice and vegetables be excepted. When the two guilds fall to arrive at a satisfactory settlement of a dispute the employers simply close up the shops. Contented Man Sizes Himself Up. "Not that I’m any walking physical culture-didit advertisement,’’ mused the man before the mirror, "but I’m not as bad as I might be at that. "For example. I’m not so thin that my shirt studs make my coat stick out In the back, and I'm not so fat that 1 have to climb a mountain every time I want to take my shoes off. "What’s more, I'm not so tall that my soup gets cold before it roaches my stomach, while, on the other hand. I’m not so short that when I slip 1 don’t notice the fall. "Another thing I’ve got to be thank ful for. I'm not so narrow shouldered that people have to look at my hands to tell which is my right arm and which is ray left. "That must he as bad as being so knock kneed that crimson ramblers take you for a trellis and try to grow up you. "But best of all, to my mind. Is the fact that I’m not so bow legged that the rush hour crowd ever clamor about my foot under the annoying im pression that 1 am the subway." Treatment of Dog Bites. Dog bites should, in every case, be first of all thoroughly cleansed In hot water, the bleeding being encouraged. Afterwards cauterise the raw surface with lunar caustic, or carbolic acid. Then dress the wound with carbo tied sine ointment