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BELIEFS OF A BENEDICT.
Few men who take a bolter hall pro paio tor the worst. A fallow who’s intoxicated with love sobers up pretty soon after marriage And poor Eve died without being able to Join the Daughters of any thing! About the best example of a work of supererogation Is teaching a girl baby to talk. Science says kissing causes disease. It has been known to cause ' pita tlon of the heart An old iscbelor at a chr nlng party ms about as appropriate as a i uan automobile. "All men are liars;" hut married ones have more ready made opportuni ties.—R. W. Jones In New York Tri bune. A Kansas man saved a widow from drowning, and was married to her within six weeks. One can’t be too careful. "Why don’t you write some happy 'Married Man’s Musings'?" asks a correspondent It would take a bach elor to do thpt There are only fifty thousand really handsome women In the United States, according to a magazine writer Every woman wonders who the other 49,999 arc. Everything baa Its compensations When a fellow gets the grip bis wife consoles herself with the thought that afterward she can tell him ho was "as cross as a bear." Probably Adam would never have married If he bad to stand up In church before a thousand people. wl<b a frock coat on, and go through a ten minute ceremony that seemed like ton hours. FROM A SPINSTER'S NOTEBOOK. Society Is the mother n( convention Slid quite often It deserves Its child. One advantage about being an old maid la not having to tell a husband how much the new millinery cost. It'a very difficult to believe In ro mance after seeing the way some men don't help their wives on the street car. It makes a man awfully mad when he knows you're Just polite to him because you are a Indy and not be cause he's a gentleman. A woman always gets a little sus picious when her husband develops a great admiration for her last year's gown when It's time to gel a new one The man who thinks he la the boss t-f the house because he Is the bread winner should bo taught that he has not half the dough of the bread baker. Few men like to be reminded of their courtship, as It reminds hem bow untruthful they can be: women like to think of It. aa they (Iml com fort In remembering the time they wt-ro happy. THfcT STATESMAN, DhNVER, COLORAD. Man or Mountain. Clifford B. Hildreth is the proprietor of a hotel at York Beach, Maine, a few miles from a promontory known as Baldhcad Cliff. The place is wild and picturesque, and is the mecca of many summer Tlsitors. Hildreth la called “CHIT by all who know him. His head has pushed through his hair, and he has little use for a comb. A few weeks ago a party t»f tourists stopped in front of hit hotel and seeing Mrs. Hildreth on the Teranda one of the men called out: "Can you tell me where Baldheaf Cliff is?" "He mast be around the house some where." said Mrs. Hildreth. "I saw him Just a few minutes ago." She was not disconcerted by the slangy title that she believed the tourist had bestowed on her husband.—Chicago Record-Herald Sunday Magazine. A Song of Singers. IThcro su« ya Uv, dead lingers of dear song* f are the souls, vibrant with mel ody? Whom *wsct v.ttfds sought, as wa*err aeek the sea; To whom great thoughts converged u shining throngs. Prom them seerr.i d lifted Eden» j.rlmai curse. They talked with angels, and were un afraid. Can death destroy those acholng chords which made Them harps Aeolean of the universe * When »ome great star throws down Its solemn light I>o their freed spirits see and ham t know The hymns the planets sing as on the; Moving al->ng their paths of silvery light When through our slumber sounds har monious ring Is It the echo of the «ong* they sing? —New York Herald. Like Papa. "My goodness gracious mere: takes),' - hit mother exclaimed. “Wll lie!* Willie! What on earth aro’yov saying? O, 0. O, Ol You have bro ken my heart! 0. I never dream-. 1 , that my little boy could say such aw ful tilings! 0. dear, dear. dear, dear! "Well, blame it, didn’t you tell mi not to cry any more when I hurt my sylt and to’ to be brave like papa I 1 when he pounds his thumb ?’’—Chi eago Record Hvrald. To Suit Herself. He-Queer a person hasn't any ra> aa to how old he Is tj grow, Isn't If She —Oh, 1 don't know. I've man aged to regulate my age to suit mv self for some yeara—Detroit Pro. Press. The Blind end the Deaf. Some persona allege that blind per aons are usually cheerful, wills deal persona arc usually gloomy nr sus picious- The reasons for thi ran acteriallcs wore recently given, la reply to Inquiries, the deaf man say lag; “When anyone speaks to me 1 am reminded of my Infirmity." The blind man said: '_At soon as saj person apeaks to me 1 forget my ml fortune."-New York Trlhnre A SURPRISE PARTY. A pleasant surprise part/ may Ire given to your stomach ami liver, by taking a medicine which will relieve their pain and discomfort, viz; Dr. King’s New Life Pills, They are a moat wonderful remedy, affording sure relief and cure, for headache, diz ziness and constipation. 25c at Jas. Hullinger & Go’s, drug store, 23rd it Larimer Sts. Miss M. COWDEN. Hair Dressing Sf* Shampooing, Cutting and Curling. All Hair Work made to order. Hair Hhg JE&jSxZ Tonics, Scalp Treatments, Manlcur- ,-ai switches, 10 cents. Ooods delivered "§ j I'tjlHWßf’ 1219 21st St., Denver, CoL “From every point of view can well be termed a masterpiece"—The Ohio Enterprise, Cincinnati “This is a book to be read; it is a book when once read ran never be for gotten”—The Standard, Chicago, NEW SUBSCRIPTION (FOURTH) EDITION OF “THE SOULS OF BLACK FOLK” By PROF. WILLIAM E. BURGHARDT DuBOIS Sine© tbo publication of this remarkable book about a year ago, Dr. Dubois has been baled by press and public as the most eloquent advocate of the spiritual rights of his people that Las yet come forward. His regular occupation is that of professor of economics and history at Atlanta j University. His education was acquired at Harvard Uni ▼entity, Fisk University and the University of Berlin j Nature has endowed him w ith a pen literally dipped in fire ! and a more impassioned plea for the cause of the race has : never been written. | ” "It is one of the best books ever written in defence of | the Negro’s position on the policy of submission and sur : render, which is now a popular fad among worshippers o | Mammon in black skins.’’—Progressive American. New ; York. At All Booksellers, $1.20 net. A. C. McClurg & Co., Publishers. PIANOS SIOO. And Upwards. Anyone may have a Piano delivered at onoe lev §2.00 per week payments. COLUMBINE MUSIC CO. Ground Floor Charles Building. DANCING AGAIN—MANITOU HALL The New Dancing Academy will be open every Thursday night from 7:30 to I 0:30 for instruction. From 10:30 to I 2:30 for social dances. Admission 25 cents. R. Phynix, Manager.