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The statesman. [volume] (Denver, Colo.) 1889-1906, October 20, 1905, Image 14

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83025516/1905-10-20/ed-1/seq-14/

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Elaborate System Intended to Ensure
Mr. W. A. Harper, "a corrector for
the press," in an article on "Proof
Reading" in the Primers’ Register,
gives a specimei of how the reading
boy deals with the productions of the
Poet I aureate in the way of busi
Double quotes You sraallcaps rails’
wake an’ call me hurlycom call me
hurlycom mother dearsera (sniff).
Tohyphenmorrer posill be the ap
piest time of all the glad Newcaphy
phen yearsem (gasp).
Ofcap all the glad Newcaphyphen
year com mother com the maddest,
merriest daysem (sniff).
Forcap Hipoam to be Queen cap
opos the Maycap com mothercom,
Hipoam to be Queencap opos the May
cap full close double rule Tennyson
This apparent jargon is the result
of reading by "caps and points. ’’ so as
to insure absolute accuracy in the
minutest details of punctuation, capi
talization, etc. “Com." is the reader’s
contraction for "comma;" "sem ’ for
“semicolon;” “pos." for "apostrophe
and so on.—The Publlsners' Circular
What Kosciusko Wanted.
Count Kosciusko, while in command
of the revolutionary forces in the
vicinity of Great Egg Harbor. Burling
ton county, N. J.. happened one day
into a pasture where a young lieu
tenant was drilling the "awkward
squad." At sight of the straggling,
douching rustics, the count sputtered
with disgust and swore some fearful
oaths in hi* native tongue.
Calling \ipon the men to halt, he
sei-ed a musket, and. brushing t!i*
lieutenant aside, went through the
exercise himself. Then he bade them
Imitate him. but the snuad, now thor
oughly frightened, had become more
awkward and sheepish looking than
The old general was bristling with
rage. Drawing himself up to his full
height ,he stamped his foot and
"You mus' look like soldiers! Look
fierce—look like de debbtl—look like
George III and the Parrot.
The habit acquired by parrots on
board ship of cursing and swearing,
and making use of other objectionable
language, is a matter of common
knowledge. Lord Howe had just re
turned from his great victory, and
King George 111 and his consort
Queen Charlotte, honored him with a
visit on board bis ship. Among oth
er treasures brought home by the ad
miral was a parrot famed for Its talk
ing, which was always kept hung up
in the admiral s stateroom. Their
majesties were called on to see the
wonderful bird, but, unfortunately.
Polly, who was no respecter of per
sons, broke out In a torrent of foul
and obscene language. The queen was
hurried out of the cabin, whilst Polly
was sent sprawling off her perch by
the admiral.
Loubet Insists on Retiring
■•> -a
President Loubet has tlnished tab
sixth year In the French president:;
and declares he will not seek re-elec
tlon. He prefers to pass his time li
agricultural pursuits at Drome or In
retirement In Paris, where his son
Paul, Is already looking for an apart
ment for him. The presidential elec
tlon takes place nest January
Women may dress to please men:
but men pay the bills to please women.
Experience would be a more popu
lar lead er If she always combined
amusement with Instruction.
The sign "Paint” is apt to attract
considerable attention from those who
did not happen to node* It In tlmfc
Clarke Littlehale of Bethel.
Clarke Littlehale was a. typical
country stage driver and a noted wag
and joker in the region surrounding
Bethel, Me. A neighbor of his. who
for want of any other name we will
call Mr. Brown, said to him ore day:
“Clarke. I want to And a good man
to help me transplant a lot of cab
bages the first dull day. Can't you
send me some one?"
“Yes." said Clarke. ‘ Til send you
Jim What's his name.”
The dull day and Jm soon came,
and Mr. Brown endeavored to make
them both useful, but as far as the lat
ter was concerned the attempt was a
disastrous failure.
Meeting the stage driver again, soon
afterward, be said to him. somewhat
“Clarke, I thought you said Jim
What's his name was a good hand to
transplant cabbages?”
“Wall.” responded the generally
supposed encyclopaedia of ail local in
formation, "I thought of course he
must be a good hand at that; they
say every man is good at something,
and I swear he ain’t good for any
thing else.”
Why He Wanted a Tenner.
Application was made at half a dor.-
rn ■stores before tie man could get
one ten-dollar bill lor his roll of ones
"I don't tee," said the man's com
panion. 'why you went to all that
trouble. You are going to pay the
money right over to your tailor. Why
didn't you give him the one-dollar
“Because It would make a bad im
pression." \*as the reply. “I am
broke, but 1 don't want him to know
it. Whenever you gel In that fix pay
your debts In the largest bills that
you car. get hold of. It enhances your
value In the estimation of tradesmen
and paves the way for further credit.
A fellow will think a heap more of
you if you pay with one five dollar
bill than with five ones. A handful
of chicken feed indicates that you
have had to hustle around pretty live
ly to pet the money and that there
Isn’t much loft where that came from
A man who really has money can af
ford to pay In pennies If he feels like
It. hut he who has little can keep up
his credit only by using large bills.”
Some Object Lessons.
A Massachusetts clergyman stood
before his congregation with a dog be
side him and talked on the subject of
kindness to animals. The innovation
a strong Impression, but there
la no doubt that It opens up a some
what dangerous precedent. Will the
next Massachusetts clergyman who In
veighs against horse racing find It
necessary to use a live horse for an
object lesson? Or If he discusses on
(ho dangers that surround the de
voted missionary In Oriental lands,
will he feel obliged to Illustrate bis
theme with the tiger of the jungle and
the elephant of the foothills?
There are few good things in this
life of ours that can’t be overdone.—
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
I 1516 Orman Avenue.l
Saturdays and Sundays
Mrs. Annie Davis
The Patronage of the
Public is Solicited
The Golden Chest Mining, Milling
and Tunnel Co.
Incorporated under the laws of the State of Colorado.
, '
CAPITALIZATION 250.000 Shares.
TREASURY STOCK 125,000 Shares.
Par Value $ 1.00,
Series B. Block of 25,000 Shares et 25 cents per share
now Is the time to ouy want tney are at a low figure and in
the reach of all. One-tenth down and monthly payments of
$5.00. Write postal card for circular for full iulonnstion or call
at o!3ce, 1223 IStlb strict, Denrer. Colo. G. C. SA MPI E Sect
Pra.'Mc.rijf physician, Denver. Pa*lo» Zion Ilxpt.st nut* D »
K.N sample, dr. p. e spratlin
(L\ v Colorado Lfzidati.re.
CA. FRWKLIN. fckntor Statesman.
{ Wenro now pleased to announce to \
4 the public that we are now locating at k
20f>7' Larimer street with all kinds of a
hair goods and ornamental goods of
all kinds and wo also announce we '
have a full line of millinery in the f
4 latest Parisian style in hats and bon- f
4 nets of all kinds. }
t Miss Genevieve Hallowell, prop. a
Mrs. J. R. Hallowell, mgr.
jfVVWVWV SFVWV wvvvvvw
£PooC, '+J.
| Cigars and Smoking Tobaccos
Every accommodation (or pleasure seekers. A >
home.for strangers,
Agent Dr, Perkins’ American Herbs ' ■ sR/
j '866 ARAPAHOE SI. tour 01 the most leaded spots In Americ

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