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PET WAS "JONAH” TO VESSES
Pork Chops Sacrificed to oave the Sal* mon Packer From Loss. The salmon packer McLauren ar rived from Alaska rhi* morning with a hard luck story to tell, having found out when too i&u* the "Jotah" Aboard that caused a light catch, sev eral minor mishaps and Anally almost a wreck from which tits vessel eucap ed with the losr. of her keelson. Tht cause of all this misfortune, her crew suftrmnly aver, was a pet pig, 'vblch was destined to supply chops and spare ribs on the homeward voyage. The good ship Anally shook herself free from the hoodoo and made a line run down the coast. It happened In this way: Coming out of the roadstead at Nogashak, with only C,?00 cases aboard, oslng to the porcine hoodoo, the ship raa ontc a reef and seemed a hopelem loss. She rolled helplessly on the swell. the rock grinding cruelly at her hull. She gave one roll more distressing than the others, and presto! the pet pig went by the board with a bannhe*- wall of despair and was seen no more Im mediately the ship righted herse f and on the neit wave slid o" the reef, scraping her sides in the act From that moment she acted like a new creature Her crew are bewalllrg the fact that the pig was not lost rn the outbound trip They figure th-* cost of having a Jonah al>oard as never*] thousand dollars. —Sail Fraovlsco Bul letin. No Wonder She Didn't Care. The littlo girls were sluing on the front j>orrh counting shooting" itir*. "We hid something Usl nlgrht 'hit you didn't hire.” tauntingly remark ed one of the older ones looking il 10-year-old Miss Mulfet. "Bet you didn't. What did you hive?" remarked Miss Muffet. "Claret aody," th<* tantallrer replied with n condescending smile. "That's nothing. Miss Muffet vouchsafed with supreme conidence "I had a chocolate sundae and fl\u cents’ worth of eand>. and I ate a!l the candy myself.” "And when we came home." the old er one continued, "me had tone Ice cream made In our own freezer " Miss Muffet paused a moment to think. Then she added with calm resignation: "Well. I don't care I had the stummick ache anyway."—Kansas City S;ar. "Fighting Bob" Took Big Chances. During the recent visit of the flist division of the North Atlantic (•quad run to Portland plana for entertaining Head Admiral Kvana and hla officers were apolled by the audden lndlttpot-l llon ol Fighting Bob " A party jf la dlra were exploring the flagship under the guidance of a grizzled quartermas ter, when one of them, referring to the awkwrard circumstance*, rental keel. Inquiringly: "I suppose you sailors are sorry that the admiral Is sick?” •'Indeed we are, mum." said the quartermaster. "But." lowering hit mice confidently, "we all know the old man waa In for It when we caw him sampling the grub that's screed out to us fellows for'srd” Count Witte Gave Gorki Liberty. The mystery surrounding the re release from Jail of Maxim Gorki, who was errosted In St. Petersburg as a terolutlonlst. Is _ cleared Tte not eltst owes his liberty to Count W itte, president of the council of ministers THE STATESMAN, DENVER, COLORADO. *uu arew up a report in which the following passage occurs; "A severe sentence or a long imprisonment might deprive the world and Russia of a creative genius from whom great things may yet he expected. The un precedented sympathy of which he is the object is a proof of the attention with which the intellectual world fol lows rfct development of Russia and of the regard which Is felt for the Rus aian writer outside his own country.' Ira D. Sankey Writing Life History. Hopelessly blind and confined to his bed at his home in Brooklyn. I»a D Sankey, the famous evangelical singer and partner of the late I)»ight L. Moody, is putting into book form the story of his gospel experience.* The book will be called “Moody and Sankey and the Story of Their Gospel Hymns." Deprived of his sight and confined to his bed for the Inst six or seven months and living in the atmos phere of retrospection, the work of compiling the n. PW l*>ok has been a Joy to him He dictates the songs aud stories, brought back by memory, to his secretary and stenographer, who transcribes them What She Had Taken in Physics. The following story !s told by Dr. F, formerly superintendent of pub'k schools in h Maine town: A }oung girl came *o the doctor. *a)inp that she wished to en*cr the hiph school She passed ihe entrance examinations successfully Then th« doctor asked. What hare >ou tak< n in physics? "Well, she replicd. "I've never taken much in physics, but I’ve al wa>s beard that salts were about the best A Noisy Call. *Tm afiald my popularity with Ml:-* GohlWnf '* nearing ir* finish * Why ao?"’ ”1 ua* there laat night an<! she en tertained me with the family grapl »>• phone ’ By Way of Excuse. Cia*lu . »«.mi u.akts dial u •lor ko dishonest ? Crat'sba* ‘He aa>ii he I* mere'j gait ini: huk the money it coal bin- 10 ha alec »1 Wa»h Inn tori' firs' ride when he took a lurk at the cherry tree. A prise fight la a striklnc affair, and a cashier's business Is a paving one. Lover* are like armies: they have no trouble until the engagement be gins The most Important needle work In the world has been done by the marl ner’a com rats. BROTHER DICKEY'S SAYINGS. Heaven looks ao high to noma folks det dev cits (Hazy thlnkln' 'bout It. aiT falls ile other way. So many people Is trjln' ter reform d» work It's a wonder de wort' keeps on rollln iu de way Providence tfcloka ' eat. You heara of many a man what claim* ter have de w'adom tf Se'o mon. hut Solomon wnint wiit la ;ii own conceit —Atlanta ConatHutlva Denver Professionals The Statesman takes pleasure in introducing the following colored professionals and recommends them as competent in their lines. Show yourself a race lover by patronizing them. Be a booster. ( • to 11 a. m , Hour? : < S to 5 and ( 7 to 8 p. m. DR. W. A. JONES, 9JJ 21st Street. Near Cbampa PHONES: Duriii# Office Hours, 648 Red. Out of office Hours, 1*64 Main Doesn't Work Beth Way*. M Y«»- 88id the cynical manu f actur* *r. ‘'t J « might' to trade your reputation for money, hut you're up against it when you try to trade bark." Automobile Magazine Women in Practice of Medicine. Medicine as a profession for women li constantly growing in popularity In I/)nd<>n. Women row holding medical dapreca in Great Britain number mora than SOO ford’s i HAIR POMADE Formerly knows as “OZONIZED 01 MAIIOW" so < * < * I - 585 LSr i > ! ! BTK.UUHTT.Ma 4 » KINKY or < I KI.Y HAIR that it can !*eput < * up : . any style de«ir«*i .<ii».*teut with it# Ford's Muir Pomade •»• formerly * * kn wn a* OZONI7.KPOX MARRnVT an<l ;» 4 ► tit- nlv *a»e preparation ku««n to u» that < i make* kink* <t rtirlj hair «trai|h(. a* 4> »h *n above It* u*e make* H.rhi *t stub* , . born, harsh, kinky or curly Uir aoft. pliable and ra«) to r.-mb The## rrtulw ' ’ mar b« obtain*-.! fern one ln*in,rr,l ! t*. « < ► *.til»* are usually sufficient for • year Th* 4 > u•" -f Ford’s Hair Pomade OZONIZED 4 > <*X MtKUOW •' remote* and dan 4 ( druff relieve# It-rhin.- in My rate* the »calr. . *t p* the hair fr»ro falling out->r breakiaf oe. ’ make* it (row an*!, by nourishing th# r«'U 4 ’ five* It near life am! Ttyor Heine eletantly < » perfumed* tnJ harmless, it is a t*>tlei 4 > n**- "w»ltv for ladle* gentlemen and children 4 » Ford's llalr Pomade ( OZONIZhh OX . . MARROW" ha# l»»en made ant) #oM couttn ' Mkilri|m*about 1M an>llabel OZONI7F.!' < ► 4)X MaUROW was regUlered in the felted 4 > State* “stent 4>ffi,'e. In IICS. In all that l^n* 4 i period of time there ha* neTer been a bottle 4 , returned from the hundred* of thousands wre . . have anld. rt)Kl> S HAIR POMADE remain* [ sweet an*! effective, no matter how Jon* )oo ' ‘ keep it. It** nr* to ret Ford’s, a# lla n*e 4 » make* the hair BTRAHSHT. hOFT, and 4 > CI.IAHI.F I lew are of tmltatlon» Rrmeir.brr 4 . that Ford’*. Hair Pomade . OZONIZED ( , OX M vRR4)W *) ta put up only In 50 ct its# . and W male only In Chicago and bt n* The 1 genuine ha* the signature. Chart#* Ford Pr**t 4> on each package. Refuse all tdher* Full til 4 » reetton* with every bottle Pile* only I* rta 4 » Sold by dmnrtaU and dealer*. If y»ur drug < > Ci*t >t dealer can not tapply you h» can pr*cure It from hi* jobber or wholesale dealer ’ '»r send u* 19 rta. for owe bottle postpaid, or 4 1 ft •• for three btUlr* or SJI for *l* bottle* 4 i eiprea* paid. W# pay pojtag* and etprea* 4 » char*e* t.» all point* In T>. 8. A. Wh*« order , 4 tat *end postal or etprea* money order, and . . mention thu paper. Writ* your name and ' addrraa plainly to TfcaOzowizad Ox MaeeewCe. * * (Sent fenuint vitlput my stgn.itmn) \ \ cLJ., Ti WHhli Iff* OMtOfii lit. Ay—li will urn ■bars. JOS. h. STUART Lawyer, Practises in All Courts. Office 329 Kittredge Bldg. Cor. 16th end GTenarm. Res. 2227 Lincoln Ave. Phone Olive 294 Examining abstracts of titlr, and drawing up legal docu ments given careful attention Dr. e. l. faulkner! PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. ( * to 10 a. m. Hour* < Mo 4 p. ip. ( “ to 0 p. m. D , \lotoll a ip . Povlsrf j;ui»r * Disea«e«of Womeuaud Chdr'im. A Spx-iallj. PHONE OFFICE MAIN 4?F«. 1021 l'.Hh Street and 1863 ArapaNi St. Dntil DR. W. J. COTTRELL PHYBICIAH and SCSOFOX DisMte? of women a Specif Ity. -a. (• TO It A. M Orncc Hours <* to • p. a. (TTOI P. M Sunday, 1 to 3 p. ni. 2100 Arapahta St. Daw At Cottrell - ' Pharmacy Phans Main 3230. 49% F &so.u, MouealPKi':.:. rci.Kie aoa. ( 7 TO 8f« DR. P. E BPRATLIN Residence; 2126 Clarkaon street Telephone fork 123 DRS. WESTBROOK AND HARPER. 9 13 T wenty-First Street. DR. I. M. P. WESTBROOK, Ph)sleiiß ad Surgai. DR. J. A. HARPER, Datist. Phone Main 1144.