BIRDS THAT RARELY SING.
Specie* teltfom Lift Up Their Veiate
in Gladness.
The venerable Susan B. Anthony,
at the National Suffrage Association’*
convention, in Portland. Ohio, insisted
on the value of special education and
special training.
"It is ui less," she said, "to a teaspt
to reform or to elevate business©* or
customs that we have not thoroughly
studied. When, in ignorance, ire try'
to set right and to help the world, we
do jfxe harm than good. We make
foolr oT ouraelves.
"Indeed, we are then like a little
girl whom I knew when I was edit
ing the ’Revolution.’ The child went
with her teacher one afternoon 10 vis
it the county prison. She became in
terested In a convict, who was knit
ting stocking!, and stopped to talk
with the man.
"‘Do you find It dull here, sir’” ahe
said.
" ’Indeed I do. miss,’ the convict an
swered.
"‘Still,’ said the child, ’the sitging
of the birds helps to relieve the mo
notony. doesn't It?’
" “Singing of the bird?’ said the con
vict. In a puzzled voice.
“’Yes.’ said the little girl.
’* 'What blrda?’ asked the man.
"The well-meaning but ignor.nt
ehlld with a hopeful smile replied:
"‘The little Jail birds They must
be a great comfort to you.’’’
KNEW AUDITORS WERE THERE.
Not Necessary That the Orator Fhoull
See Them.
Oilef Justice John A Peter* of
Maine was a man of national reputa
tion for mlt. geniality and humor, be
sides possessing many of the solid
Ovalities of the Jurist ard statesman.
On one orcaalon *h»*n nmr Injr for
Congress hr went to Bancor to make a
«-perch. This sat the signal for the
assembling of Jie rough r vermen
from far and wide The day was dull
ard gloomy, bl.1 Bangor wa« a wide
open town The result enn be im
agined.
When the time for the meeting
rame the square In front of tic prin
cipal hotel was filled by a noisy, good
nattired and chaffing crowd, whose
actions betokened the kind of spirit
that animated them. When Peteri
came upon the balcony he was flanked
by blaring lights that made him per
fectly visible, but the darknesi before
him was InU-nlfied Silence reigned
but the judge thus began his speech:
'‘hV Mow citizens. I cannot tee you.
but 1 can smell you!”
There was n shout and n ror r. which
soon subsided. After the speech, of
course bubbling over with wit wm
over, a friend remarked to him:
Peters, you are the only man In
Maine that could have said what you
d!d at the start without a row " Which
was undoubtedly true.
Sins of the Father.
Bishop Kawdon of Georgia illustrat
ed a well Known text with an anec
dote.
There was once a hod car r ;or," he
said, "whose name was Jerome Me
Wade Jerome was working cn a Job
In the country, and In order to reach
the railroad station to take tie train
home Jt was neers-nry for him each
everlng to ctors a large, flat fle d
"There was a bull In this field one
evening, nnd It gave Jerome a ter
riblc chare He fled like the nlnd be
fore it for more than a mile, nnd only
escaped. Just in time, by miking a
THE STATESMAN. DENVER. COLORADO.
wonderful leap over a five-foot fence
•The next evening, on his home
wanl way. Jerome carried his hod
with him for a weapon. Swinging the
heavy hod. he entered the field fear
lessly. but this time the bull was ah
renr Only a calf a playful, harm
less little calf, could Jerome find. He
NO ONE TO RUN IT.
6lmple Explanation for Stopping of
Alarm Clock.
An Irishman who had been unoccu
pied for some time Induced his friend
Patrick to try to secure him a position
with a contractor One evening about
a we 1 iter Pat went around to
Mike boarding house with the news
that the contractor had granted Mike
a trial.
"But.” said Pitt, "be is avery par a
tickler and ye moost be sure to be at
the ooflee by 7 shat r p 0111 git ye an
alarm clock and then ye'll be sure to
git up on tolme."
So Pat bought the alarm clock
wound it up and set it at 6 30. It went
yr satisfactorily. Mike went down
and worked all day When he went
home at night he wound the clock, but
did not bother with the alarm, think
ing that it would go off automatically.
The next morning he slept until 8
o'clock, and when he went to the office
the t*>*a ea\e Mm hi* pay and told
him to leave Mike went home mad.
swore at the :rm clock and finally
took the back off A lot of springs,
wlrea and wheels MI out, and. last of
CLERGYMAN GOT HIS FEE.
Waited Long fcr Oopcrtunity. but It
Cime At Last.
Gov Blanchard f 1/msiana wa«
dAtcribfng the i t.« .iui:«»t» - ihst a err
tain veteran phvsirinn had taken
ajratnst the >p-» ;i<! <>f a contagious dis
ease.
Knowing the poop!** he had to deal
with," Oov Blanchard said he saw
that hi* ru • - v • r*> carried out before
one of th* • V .ft their homes
They had tricked him in the past. He
would not Hi via
like the Camden clemvman of my
boyhood
“This clergyman one* married a cer
tain huckster who after the cere
mony. declared he "as unable to pay
A WAdd ng •' jr 11
clerg>man had to let him off.
“Some jeers later the good man
found the same huckster before him
with another woman. Hit first wife
had died Now he desired to yoke
with a second.
“The minister was w'Jling enough
to remarry the man. but this time he
would take precautions
“80. lending the bridegroom to one
side, he held out hi* band and said in
A low voice:
" 'My fee '
" 'Oh, ye*, of course.' said the
huckster, confusedly, and he place# a
banknote in the clergyman’s palm
“‘Thank you.' said the clergyman,
with a bland smile. "That I* for the
first lime New we will have the fee
for this occasion, please?"
BEATS THE MUSIC CURE.
“To keep the body in tune.” writes
Mrs Mary Brown. 20 Lafayette Place.
Poughkeepsie. N. Y. “I take Dr.
King's New Life Pills They are the
most reliable and pleasant laxative 1
have found " Best for the Stomach
Liver and Bowels Guuranttod by all
druggists 25c.
Sm -h Vernier E]
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[2) The Smith Premier Typewriter Co. (P
DENVER BRANCH, 163? Champa St.
j* Topeka Industrial and Educational Institute >
“THE WESTERN TUSKEGEE” *
Five teachers from that famous institution. The ONLY NOR
SECTARIAN school for Negroes of the West A school of j_'.' '
Christian Culture.
DEPARTMENTS
Normal, Normal Preparatory. Agricultural, Indus
trial, Business. Music aud Military Science.
TRADES TAUGHT
Carpentry, Paioting, Printing. Book binding, Tail
oring. Sewing, Dress making, La undrying, Bask
etry, Domestic Science, Agriculture in its various
phases. Stenography, Type-writing. Agricultural
and Mechanical Drawing.
ADVANTAGES
Eipenses reasonable. Self help encouraged. Very
careful attention given home training of youo
women. Rigid discipline maintained. Farm of
ICM> acres. Location and sanitation the very bes,
Endorsed by ministers of every denomination
Th t Fall Term begins Tuesday Sept. i. Try to bi
present the opening day. For further informal n address
WM. R. CART ER President,
Topeka Kas