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OLD NAMES DIE OUT
CURIOUS POINTS IN OECAV OP NOBLE FAMILIES. Na Descendants Left of Mon Whose Ooodo Adorn tho Pagoo of Englloh HIMory—Nature Soomt to Sot Limit to Glory of One Lino. The recent death of a young noble- Sion, who, to recall a very old phrase, hod daring his abort life been sppar oetly possessed of more money than wit, reminds one again, If, lndeel, re minder be necesaory. that many and many an ancient family has either entirely passed away or has fallen from Its former high estate. The curious thing about such de cadence Is that the families of Illus trious men are somewhat prone to de terloratlon. reminding one of the say lng that when a human race has glypo birth to Its bright consummate flower It seems commonly to be near Its end There Is not now living a single de acendant In the male line of Chau-er. Shakspeare, 8penser, Milton. Cow yer, Butler, Dryden, Pope, Cowley. Grid smith. Scott. Byron or Moore; not me of Sir Philip Sidney, or. I believe of 8lr Wal ter Halelgh; not one of Drake, Cromwell. Hampden, Monk, Peter borough or Nelson; not one of Staf ford. Ormonde, or Clarendon; not me of Addison. Swift or Johnson, not one of Bollngbrokr. Walpole. Cbathum. Pitt, Fos, Burke. Grattan. Canning, or Disraeli; not one of Bacon. Locke, Newton or Davy ; not one of Hume, Gibbon or Macaulay; not one of -to garth. Sir Joshua Reynolds; not one of David Gsrrlck. John Kemble <: Ed mond Kean. H ok owls be remembered that many of the families of the above men tioned Illustrious band slrtply died out; but In the case of a larfe number of this country's old famllb-s the de cadence or disappearance cun too oft en be laid to qthor causes, fur It has well been said that the ruin of great families may very generally be traced to personal extravagance, gradual de cay, electioneering, eontetts. expen sive ostentation or the alienation of estates through heiresses For Instance, a letter appears In the Oentleman's Magazine for December 1189. In which mention la made of the family of Conyers, famous itindowners In the north country, but out of whose last representatives squsnlered his whole fortune In scenes of the lowest dissipation, and whose uncle and heir, Thcma* Conyers, was found llvlog In his 7td year as a pauper In 'he parish workhouse of Cbaster-le-st, v hither be had come after a life “perhaps of much Imprudence, certainly of much hard ship. after an unsuccessful attempt la a humble business end a subsequent service of several years at sea.'' Again, descendants of the great Plantagenets were said In the seven teenth century to be following the trade of cobblers, while In compara tively recent times an alleged descend ant of Edward III. was found In the person of a sexton at a Meat End chut-ch.—London Queen. Bridge Whist an Absorbing Ganna. The following Is being toll "on" a Kansas City couple, whose intrrlage was announced recently. The young man persuaded the girl to marry him while they were In another town on an oscurslon trip. They came home and for two weeks told no one of their secret. One night they were playing brtd(e whist with the girl's parents. THE STATESMAN. DENVER. COLORADO. They had decided to spring their sur prise that night, and the young man was trying all through the game to get up nerve enough to do so. Finally he screwed his courage up. In the middle of a hand he turned to the girl's father and said: ‘Tve something to tell you. Grsce and I were married three weeks ago.'' A look of anger spread over the father’s face. Glaring across the hoard at the girl's mother, he said: "Hang it, Hattie! What made you lead that ace? You've lost us another trick."—Kansas City Times First Come. First Served. A week before commencement Jones, a senior, who was weary of boarding bouse fare, was happily en gaged In donning his dinner clothes A smile of delighted anticipation lay. ed upon his features when Robbins entered In a dinner coat. "Hello. Charley!" greeted Jones cheerily. "What’s up?" “O, nothing up," said Robbins ' I m lust going around to the Clemenses to call—going to see If I can't get asked to dinner " The smile faded slowly from Jones' features "0. I say. Charley," he expostulated "can't you go somewhere else? I w„s going there." —Youth's Companion More About Shakespeare. "A certain Mr. Slolzemburg. who llTes In America, announces that the works attributed to Shakespeare were written by a syndicate," says a writer. "Mr. Stoliemburg must have been living a long way out of the cur rent of affairs, or he would know that bis theory Is old fashioned. Homer was a syndicate. Scott was a syndi cate. Don’t we all know that Dumas employed many hands on bis ro mances? Now the really Interesting discovery about the man who wrote Shakespeare Is that he was a native of Bayeux. whose name was Jacques Pierre, which was easily corrupted Into Shakespeare." Where the Laugh Comes In. "He doesn't appear to have the least sense of humor." “He doesn't! You ought to hear him laugh at his bosses' Jokes."— Houston Post Rejected Insinuation. A young lawyer was sen; from Edin burgh to a country north of the Forth to act as Junior counsel In a licensing club ease. Ho had to cross-examine the certifying Justice, who was very diffuse and rather evasive In hts an swers. "Speak s little more simply and tc the point, please," said the counsel mildly, "you are a little ambiguous, you know." "I am not, sir" replied the witness. Indignantly. "1 have been strictly tee total for a year."—Ram's Horn Aouth African Girl Wins Honors. Miss Jans Nathan, who Is the first Booth African-born girl' licensed to practice as a dental surgeon, has re turned from her successful studies la ■trope to begin her prqApalon it Hanover. Cape Colony. She Is also believed to be the first South Africa* girl to take any medical degree ■egen as Newspaper tfaa. neophlle Delraase, who her Just no ■Igaol as foreign minister of Fraoor> tape his eoreer as s a swipe per aw, WHAT THE TEACHER SAID. Not Exactly What Eddies Fond Mother Had Thought. Last Sunday Eddie made""hisTdebut aa a Sunday school scholar. Every body about the house was interested in the event, and for several days pre ceding the Sabbath various members of the family had taken pains to coach him for the ordeal. They had taught him the golden text, and the story of the lesson, and finally Edwin, arrayed in his best suit of clothes and with a new 1904 penny in his pocket to be dropped into the contribution box, was directed into the path which all good little boys are supposed to tread. “When he came home his relation! and friends were anxious to hear a re port of his experiences. “Well, Eddy,” said his mother, “did you have a nice time.” “Yes. ma'am.” “Did you say the text?” “Yes, ma’am.” “And did you remember the lesson V “Yes, ma’am. 1 said it all off bj heart.” “And did you put your penny intc the basket?” “Yes. ma'am.” Edwin's mother grabbed him up and hugged Mm ecstatically "Oh. you little precious!” she said "Your teacher must have been proud of you. I know she Just loved you She saiu something to you, didn't she?” “Yes. ma’am.' ”1 know it.” said the fond parent. *Come. Eddy, darling, tell mother what the teacher said to mother's little man ' "She said." was the startling reply, “for me to bring two pennies next Sun day.” Mac's Liniment Mr. Mac is a tall, slender gentle man with a taste for lacing and all Kinds of horse sports. Lately he has been training eo hard with his “mount" that he has complained sever al times to his spouse about having a "backache.” One evening he came in lato and woke the lady with a re quest that she rub his back. “All right—sure. Mac.” she replied sleepily; "wait Just a minute until 1 get awake.” Straightway she fell asleep again Next day. remembering the. incident she apologized to her husband. “It doesn't matter,” he replied, “1 nibbed some stuff on myself, and 1 think it's done me good." Mr. Mac continued each night there after to rub the "stuff’' on himself, until one evening Mrs. Mac. cnancing to awake, observed him. “Mac." she demanded, “what is that you are using?” “Why, It’s Just crackerjack lin Iment.” he replied. “Found It in the drawer there.” A peal of laughter from his wife made him pause. “O. Mac." she cried, "that's a bottle of stuff I got to re move grease spots. Don’t use another drop, on your life, or there’ll bo noth ing left of you but a bjue.”—Portland Oregonian Japanese Costumes Popular. At the fashionable watering plare# Mar New York Japanese costum* dances are all the rage. This does uoi necessarily mean general p<-o-Jnpan>t«< sympathy among the butterflies ot so ciety. who probably would have takes op the picturesque features of Ruaawe •octane had the tad (truck then tfcr tea*. Duly Served. Some few days ago a policeman was sent to serve a summons on a noto rious poacher. This person, who lived alone and had evaded service success fully for some time, was the owner of a male goat. My friend, whom I will call Mac. went to the defendant’s house; but the wily poacher, observ ing his approach, had fled, leaving the door unfastened. Mac saw the goat tied up in a corner, entered, and solemnly read the summons to him. after which he stuck the copy on his horns. He then went home and en dorsed the paper thus: — “Served by leaving a copy of this summons In defendant’s residence at , with an inmate,” etc. When proving service Mac was asked by the magistrate: “Was the inmate of age?” “Your worship,” said my friend. lay ing bis hand on the middle button of his tunic, “he had a beard down to that” —London Tit-Bits. Facet That Never Grow Old. In the momJng of life, by the heart! nnd playground. On the mind as its pages unfold. Are imprinted in colors no art can com pound Tnt- faces that never glow old. On the highway of life. I y the milestones of years. We look back and with joy we behold Through the dust of the road and affec tionate tears. The faces that never grow old. Over snow on the landscape and ice on the streams. Giving genial warmth tn the cold. Reappear from the shadows on pinions of dreams. The faces that never grow old. They are smiling and fresh in their beauty and youth After age lias enfeebled the bold; They are bright hs the stars and endur ing as Truth. Those faces that never grow old. Laft Fortune to Poor. Dr. Tillaux of Paris, whose death was recently announced, has bequeath ed half a million francs to a fund fot providing old age pensions for work men. Dr. Tillaux was one of the mod eminent surgeons in France and was for many years president of the Academy of Medicine. He rendered much valuable service to the poor as chief surgeon of the charity hospital, where he was greatly beloved by ail the patients. Seeking a Bribe. “Mamma,” said fiveyear-old Harry, “I’ll make a bargain with you.” “What kind of a bargain?” she asked. “If you’ll give me a penny every day to buy candy with,** replied the youthful diplomat. “I’ll not tell any on* that you have store teeth.” Puts Ban on Opium. The different states, having agreed to prohibit the sale and growth of opium, the commonwealth govern ment of Australia has prohibited the importation of opium except for medi cinal purposes. Moral Idling Altogether Bad. That moral idler who never in his life accomplished an active good may be infinitely worse than the strenuous one who incidentally has done nearly everything that is bad—John A. How land. Swiftest Bird. The swiftest bird is either the vul ture. which is said to be able to travel at the rate of 150 miles an hour, or the English kestral. which can probably equal, if not exceed, this speed.