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Knights of Pythias.
Tlenver, Colo., May 19. 1906. To the Officers and Members of Aetna Company No. 1, U. R. K. of P., anil Colorado Jurisdiction: You are hereby notified that I have served In office for the past five years and for the the better and quicker prosperity of the U. R. department, I did, on the 11th of April, tender my resignation to major general, to be ac cepted at once. The same has been approved and I now announce it offi cially. Aetna company, in which my mem bership is, did, at the last stated meet ing, May 11th, by vote, place me upon the retired list and notified the major general of their act, requesting fur ther that I be placed upon the roll of honor to be preserved in the history of the Uniform Hank as a past officer. This finds me embarassed to find words in which to express my appreciation of the great honors be stowed upon me by my company, for I have never before known from whence (lowed such great milk of hu man kindness until the present. W. A. GREENLEAF, Ex-Colonel. Don't Indulge In long-winded experi ences in business. *Talk briefly and to the point. Your customer has no tine to waste, and If you don’t talk busi ness he will get an idea you don't Vnow your business. THE S i ATESMAN, DENVER, COLORADO. UMBRELLA THIEF’S NEW TRICK. Changing Handle* Is the Latest Pro* fessional Wrinkle. “About the slickest umbrella lifter In town dropped in ytsterday,” re marked the bead barber Id one of the uptown hotels. “You don’t say," replied the roan in the chair. “How did he operate?” "Oh, he was a changer." “Ah, I eee. He brought in an old umbrella and walked out with a new one.” “Oh, no; that’s an old. clumsy game that was worked twenty years ago. This chap was up to the times and cribbed the rain shields by deftly changing handles. He carried a full Stock of handles and when he sighted a fine silk umbrella with a gold or silver handle he slipped it off and screwed on something entirely differ ent. Then he dropped the original handle in his pocket and leisurely awaited his opportunity to slip out without attracting attention. “As everybody identifies their urn brella by the handle, this ‘lifter’ can , walk right past you with your own umbrella and you never notice it Oh. the world is moving, and even the umbrella thief keeps up with the times these days.” And the head barber changed tha subject to hair tonics.—New Yoik Globe. Overcrowded Out in Wyoming. A traditional right has been Invad ed. That square mile of fresh air. in which ever/ inhabitant of Wyoming has been accustomed to breathe and find elbow room, is squeezed and clip ped about the edges. The census of 1905 shows that 101,819 people must be crowded into Wyoming’s 97,890 square miles. Wyoming la filling up. To the efTete and cabined citizen of the east a square mile of empty air seems a dread Immensity of space, an abundance of superfluous breath Foi the breeborn denizen of the land of the Big Horn and the North Platte It is no more than enough. In 1880 there were nearly two miles of territory foi <*ach inhabitant, and In 1890 one and one-half miles. In 1900 each man could still have more than one square mile to himself. Ever the band grows tighter —Oolller’6 Wsakly. Watch Affected by Temperature. A watch taken to the top of Mont Blanc will gain thirty-six seconds in twenty-four hours. Puffs of Locomotive. A locomotive going at express speed gives 1,056 puffs to the mile. HEROINE OF VERMONT NOBLE WOMAN APPROPRIATELY HONORED WITH MONUMENT. History of Ann Story Littlo Known to the People of To Day, But Records Prove Her Great Servlets to the Cause of American Libtrty. The Vermont Society of Colonial Dames dedicated a; Salisbury recently a marble monument to mark the sits of Ann Story’s cabin, says a Rutland (Vt.) dispatch to the New York Her aid. This woman led a life of patriotism and hard work seldom equaled, and there is now a chapter of the Daugh ters of the American Revolution in this city named for her. The monument Is a large square block of marble presented by Fletcher D. Proctor, son of Senator Redfleld Proctor. It bears this Inscription: “On this spot stood the home of Ann Story. In grateful memory of her service in the struggle of the Green Mountain Boys for the independence of Vermont. Erected by the Vermont Society of Colonial Dames. May 30, 1905." The history of Ann Story is Mttle known outside the annals of the town, yet It shows many deeds of utiutual bravery. She was a pioneer In the town of Salisbury, one of the first town# In Addison county charterer by King George 111. Her husband, with | their fourteen-year-old son. went there | in 1774. leaving the rest of his family lin Connecticut. He was building a I log cabin when he was killed by a falling tree. The next year Mrs. Story, with her j three sons and two daughters, contin ued the home making in the wilder oess begun by her husband. Nightly I they were disturbed by the howling I of w'olves and panthers, and often were visited by hostile Indians, but being a woman of remarkable physi cal strength, she was able to swing an axe as well as a man, roll logs with a lever or Are a musket, so the little home prospered in spite of many set backs. When the revolutionary war broke out moat of the families in that part of the New Hampshire granta moved to southern counties, where they were in less danger from attacks by the Tories and hostile Indians, but Mrs. Story and her little family remained, and many a patriot found shelter under her hospitable roof. In the summer of 1776 a party of Indians descended from Canada, pil laging the abandoned Their oreience In the clearldSext to hers was discovered by Mr*. Story, and, putting her children and valu ables Into a canoe, ahe paddled through Otter Creek, which ran by her door, to a nearby swamp. Lyle* hidden ahe saw tho savages destroy her home. Undismayed, she built an other small house, utilizing the trunks of trees small enough to be handled without a team. This done, she and her sons dug a place of secret refuge In (he bank of the creek. The entrance was sufllclently Urge to admit a canoe. In the cave the family slept every night. The retreat was eventually discovered by a spy named Jenny. He accosted Mr*. Story, trying to get In formation as to the movements of cer tain Whigs. Being unsuccessful, he threatened to ahoot the woman, but she bade him defiance. As soon as he left Mrs. Story noti fied her scattered neighbors that Tories were around. A party of Whigs was soon organized and upon the track of Jenny's associates. Their camp at Mendon. near Rutland twenty-five miles away, was surround ed that night, and fourteen Tory pris oners were raptured and taken to Fort Tleonderoga. Mrs Story was twice married after me close of the war. dying at the age el 76. She was burled at Mlddleburj Calendars Brought Good Price*. Some years ago one of our leading life Insurance companies received an application from a man In a small town In Vermont to become a local agent The request was granted, and the usual blanks, forms, etc., were sent him. together with a liberal supply of elaborate advertising calendars of the company. Not bearing from the agent for sev eral months, a letter was sent to him. inquiring what prospects he had for sending In some business, to which be replied that, while hs bad talked tr most every man la town about Insur ance, he had not been able to get any real applications yet. but that he was working hard to sell the calendars, and had sold some as high as 25 cents, but sold one for 10 rents to a man wh* had promised to take out a policy pret ly soon. In a postscript he said: "Shall I send you the money 1 have on hand now, or shall 1 wall until 1 have sold all the calendars?" WISDOM IN CHINESE PROVERBS Many Homely Truth* Condensed Into Short Paragraph*. The verbal wisdom of th* Chinese has become proverbial and. appmprl ately enough, II shows Intself promt nenlly In their proverbs. Many of these have already been translated Into English, but here are a few more, from a collection by llerr Bruno Na varra, published In Heidelberg, which may be welcome: "It Is better not to be than not to be anything." "Repentance Is the dawn of virtue." "Even the hlgheat lower Btands on the ground." "Man thinks he knows everything, but wo man knows better." "Even the man darin of the first-class has poor rela tlons" "The carver of Idols never worships Idols; he knows too well what they aro made of." "A day of grief Is longer than n year of Joy." And so on.—T. P.'s Weeklv. Ram of Modern Warship. The ram of a modern battleshly weighs (ori> tons.