Newspaper Page Text
INDEPI.NDENT IN ALL THINGS-NLEUTRAL IN NONE
- iANE PFublishers.l DEVOTED TO LITERATURE, THE ARTS, AND THE GENERAL NEWS OF THE DAY. r$5 per Annum.
IT.AI. . HOUMA, PARISH OF TERREBONNE, LA., THURSDAY, MAY 8, 1856. NO. 39.
ev.ry Thuruday Moringl.
, . ............ w. zt ManarusI.
I. w E & BJAYNES.
JOrly 01 TE COURT HOUSE.
Swii injerted at the rate of One
tealsau teo)r thle fiA t and
(d ewv au.iaont ineron ba
Oanmae to tOee'who advertise by the year.
nll peer1 wil be ayrd t'wr bai a coliun
frW da dveousa. MA4 iae of greater
beaddisede any-tefL i
ba jloedonsnltam'u . .
_ AL .,I.Ojll.o&~m Cm uatiUOof aper
iual drE a id deemed to be of public
- . b vlingested - adttlor blls (at the op
a`d ie.dbt,) by being p.tdor Ia advance.
guNunC ..dLTEsS, . Dmuf i bewl ebarg
dhOabuaaii Cadida fro to be pai
UIYadwanc NOTICEBS not exceedfng thbee or four Res,
crye eetl td wilOt cbhg, but those.
i ýtmo b ,w fbe atled aaadvaetiaeOts.
0 are informmed that no notice what
dW aken of a00 Communication intended for
tesir~S the aOia i tbea aand addkea
u te itb T E a Qtt W e f p ' ý I S b u t a s a
paraat of ged iiftL
SL ibe3 whode do e give express notice to the
, ae ·iade wishbig uto cotiaue their sob
subsIcria rs order the discontlnuance of heir news
I thepelhh·etmay continue to sead them until a,
.lS bmanegrleot d or efertse to take their news
tam s he c tiwhtich they re directed, they
r~m t umntil they have ettiedti th bir
S have decided that resa to sake new
., eo.ff.. e orremoving med leaving thea un
I h" cle evidence ot intentional fraud.
Sid oates (arts have also repeatedly d
aster, who neglects to give seaonable
rd by the Post Ofmece Department, of the
.bit * of a persone to take frm the ofice
h ddreesed to hie, renders the Pesmaster I
u eer for the saubscription price.
js is J so cheap as readiag and as peasure
is wSohting -LAD r MOSTAeoE.
s Beasty.- -The women of East-'
.a.ii*tria are famous the world over
fr t~itiure of their skin, and the love
liuss their complexion, Much of this
theyboto the means they take to pre.
,seve hit mtt~e ghte its beauty. For this
pi1, tandard preparation univer
'ia- o-1e far ~famed Kalliston or
O~i Water-sometimes termed, in sig
m anguage, the "Bath of
D i bp fpls the skin that peculiar
so greatly admired, and
hMmild glow, which no art
=aWm. We understand that meas.
. ..ei'g taken to place the Kallis
t d in the American marlke, it
Sadapted to relieve
our changeable climate--the
udt the.hot suu-the severe
c Lsizsic.--We once aaw a
l the *ryheavens, with
4 ar' ~efpistols in the
·endeavored to attract his at
tho a s in a papsr wre hepld
i relating 2myoung manaai'
,,who had left home ' in a
derangement. He drop.
" f o isls f mra his $ý
W~&~IIS~d.knew 4o m de=
:ins.; lxft smle sl.
~~i~ady hot.the -hoinea
vt.hs .C love, a;
.. u`w!ý o~pis1
Larw umwhsd of vascilla.
Hof tits £arrest~oak lie
is 4tis ike and ucdded
l ~orCiisIushed wild
Jbuu eascilutt I
- mii " _.
Death Warrant of Jesus Christ.
The Courier Des Etats Unis, says that
that the most interesting and imposing ju.
dicial document, ever recorded in human
annals is presented in the death warrant ofi
It was found in an antique vase of
white marble, while excavating in the an
cient city of Aquilla, in the kingdom of Na
ples, in the year 1820, and was discovered
by the Commissaries of Arts attached to
the French army. At the expedition of
Naples, it was found enclosed in a box of
ebony, in the sacristy of the Chartrem.
The vase in the chapel of Caserta. The
French translation was made by the mem
bers of theCommission of arts.
it reads as follows :
Sentence rendered by Pontius Pilate, act.
ing Governor of Lower Gallilee, stating
that Jesus of Nazareth shall sufer death
In the year seventeen of the empire Ti.
berius Cmasar, and the 25th day of March,
in the city of the holy Jerusalem, Anna and
Caiophas being priests sacrificators of the
people of God, Pontius Pilate, Governor
of Lower Gallilee, sitting on the presiden
tial chair of the Praetory, condemn Jesus
of Nazareth to die on the cross between
two thieves-the great and notorious evi
dence of the people, saying:
1. Jesus is a seducer.
2. He is seditious.
3. He is an' enemy of the law.
4. He calls himself falsely the son of
5. He calls himself falsely the King
'He entered into the temple followed by
a multitude bearing palm branches in their
Order the first centurion, Quillus Cor
nelius, to lead him to the place of execu
Forbid to any person whatever, -either
poor or rich, to oppose the death of Jesus.
The witnesses who signed the condem.
nation of Jesus, are, viz- i. Daniel Ro
bani, a Pharissee:; 2 Joannas Horobable;
3, Raphael Robani; 4, Carpet, a citizen.
Jesus shaligo out of the city of Jerusa.
lem by the gate of Struenus.
The abovesentence is engraved, on a
copper plate; on one side are written
these words: "A similar.plate is sent to
. . ..
:t-A gentlemran wanting a pair o
boots isade, went to a German friend in
that line of business, and was measured.
He called in a few days afier his boots;
but the uiemaiker said his wife was very
sick, and he must w~it a little longer.
hbinb called; but the poor fellow's
wife had just baee buried, and in his over.
whPlmingrsi4t fhe could not think of ma.
ki. boots that week-wait a little long
er. Fnasily about two weeks after the
por shemakter's bereavrneat thtgentle
nant eaBedagain, thinking th8at his boot
~Ws4c*Aifnly be done: by that time. -
' *WeU, psy 4 friend., ar@ spy boot#
toly be not ton; tmihe .ife ti, and
Iats i aging b tae t.are of toe Ud
bies all de ti de salt coatinned b. bright
ening up, ."Ibes gainkto be married to
mw e igtI¶-4e o f~tirst ting what I
nR~ie~iI4i b0~:s q.7.; ' - : i
ýO[:N.)D' i bebt, F chkuifa, ba
j*F~iubui aboOk0Ftra eIinibO Uni
1aýg 3 i nexftja svagsat adminre
ý_ýAet s~ and Mu demon
strat ed n iiait7 by, gwyryig. one co
htam-a Mi.. P-i, lps, of Philadelphia.
Iftqin4i0 a hezil I.'jba quemoT'j of
m~AO Omte msh a.Mt6 tbat
h . lac is to be seer over
u&Mik ibe alt Wnt; Wed b . crtp
:tt ueZaCiend w ta `4; :challenge.
f ,ý:raU #Ri. Wipeyiwhei t, if ye.'
1r~~i~tL ~p~ - wif
m&ak**.awmmt rrrtII on the 14th
Oe babervý 1 ,nrteheBrd etI i Ad-'u
ies ancada-D; tch Seek coda
ýi Dtsisiie r to ma W.
16wstaVjkiq hbr Admiral Dun.
isadebin, alts:iwoý buhis knees.
'AMY P)W, aa. fIB1a : .exclaimed one,
"what is the Admiral about there?2",
KPraying tfrteS' frepliedihe other.
, ,0qwefl~jl fad hatlr r :: ý; .,.,.
-& srsste z aLh"· W
wetll tam3~ie tsBe
ces hav tia.n : a ýpe r. q ek.
ire kill. awid pwad ep.401 broad aisle.
Soliloquy of a Loafer.
Let's see, where am I? This is-coal
I'm laying on. How'd I get here ? Yes,
I mind now. Was coming up street-met
a wheelbarrow-was drunk, comin' t'oth.
er way, the wheelbarrow fell over me, or
I over the wheelbarrow, and one of us fell
into the cellar-don't know which now
guess it must ha' been me. I'm a nice
young man, yes I am-tight ! tore I drunk !
Well, I can't help it-'taint my fault
wonder whose fault 'tis? Is it Jone's
fault ? No. Is it my wife's fault? Well it
ain't. Is it the wheel.barrow's fault. No.
It's whisky's fault. Who is whisky? Has
he a large family ! All poor, I reckon. I
think I won't own him any more. I'll cut
his acquaintance. I've had that notion for
about ten years, and always hate to do it1
for fear of hurting his feelings. I'll do it
now-I think liquor's injurin' me-it's
spoilin' my temper.
Sometimes I get mad, when I'm drunk,
and abuse Bets and the brats; it used to
be Lizzie and the children-that's some
time ago. I'd come home o'evenin's, she
used to put her arms round my neck and
kiss me, and call me her dear William.
When I come home now, she takes her
pipe out of her mouth and her hair out of
her eyes, and says somethin' like--"Bill,
you drunken brute, shut the door after you;
we're cold enough, havin' no fire, 'thout
lettin' the snow blow in that way." Yes,
she's Bets and I'm Bill now. I ai'nt a
good bill, nuther; think I'm a counterfeit,
won't pass a tavern without goin' in and
gettin' drunk. Don't know what bank
I'mon. Last Saturday I was on the riv
I stay out pretty late; no, someil.es
I'm out all night; fact is, I'm out pretty c
much all over-out of friends, out of pock
et, out at the elbows and knees, and al..
ways outrageously dirty-so Bets says;
but then she's no judge, for she's never I
clean herselt I wonder why she doesn't
wear good clothes; may be she hasn't got
'em; whose fault's that ?-'taint mine
must be whisky's.
Sometimes I'm in, however; I'm intox.
toxicated now, and in somebody's coal
cellar. There's one principle I've got
I won't get in debt; I never could do it.
There, one of my coat tails is gone-got
tore oft I expect, when I fell in here. I'll
have to get a new suit soon. A fellow
told me t'other day, that I'd make a good
sign for a paper mill. If he was not so
big I'd kick him. I've had this shirt on
for nine days, and I'm afraid itwont come
offwithout tearin.' People ought to res.
pect me more'n they do, for I'm in holy
orders. I ain't a dandy, though my clothes
are pretty near Greasein style. I guess I
tore this window shutter in my pants t'oth.
er night, when I sat down on the was in
Ben Rugg's shop; I'll have to get it mend
ed, or I'll catch cold. I ain't very stout,
as it is. As the boys say I'm fat as a
match and as healthy as the small pox.
My best hat has been standing guard for
a window pane that wentout t'other morn
ing at the invitation of a brickbat. It's
gettin' cold down here; wonder if I ain't
abletoclimb. If I had a drink Icould
think better. ; Let's see; I ain't got three
cents; if I was in a tavern I could sponge
one. Whenever anybody treats and says
"cone fellers," I always think my name's
"fellers," and I've got too good manners to
refuse. Well, I must leave this, or they
will arrest me for an attempt at burglary.
I ain't come to that yet Any how it was
the wheelbafrow did the Iarm-not m.= :
The Mvaissn wShamship Pacc.i
Loyd's List, of March 22, ha thefollow
I.Arrx.OT., Meis-21.--The Castilia
Maid, Hurrell, from Cadiz, for Harbor
Breton, Newfoundland, has put in here to.
day, had lost bulwarks, boats, caboose,
and received other considerable damage,
ia lat.44 N. les. 48 W., and saw arqua.
tity of wreck in the ice, doors, bulwarks,
It is guggested that the wreck seen by
the Castiliap Maid was that of the unfor.
Or It no more reflects a stain upon al
Christian creed that some of its professors
are bad men than'upon the laws of a
nation-tha they are incapable of wholly
eradicating crime. A edeed may be un
impeachably pure, and yet vilhians may
adopt that creed as a clock for designs oi
the ieost unhallowed character; but this
f..t eannevera be recoghized as a just ar
gum-ent aiinet the eed itself ; and those
who attempt to do so, in attacking one
Christian sect on such grounds attack all
ct.,pd ".se.b. to updermine the founda
tAoIupo9w inh the Vhristain religion is
The way to a w\isot an's :I^ h t -is
through his head.
Scene in Court*
Judge-Bring the prisoner into court.
Pete-Here I is, bound to blaze, as the
spirits of turpentine said when it was all
Judge-We will take a little fire out of
you. How do you live?
Pete-I ain't particular, as the oyster
said when they asked him if he would be
fried or rosted.
Judge-We don't want to hear what the
oyster said, or the turpentine either. What
do you follow ?
Pete-Anything that comes in my way,
as the locomotive said when he run over
the little nigger.
Judge-We don't care anything about
the locomotive. What's your business ?
Pete-That's various, as the cat said
when she stole a chicken off the table.
Judge-That comes near the line, I
Pete-Altogether in my line, as the
rope said when it was choking the pirate.
Judge-If I hear any more absurd com
parisons, I will give you twelve months.
Pete-I am done, as the beefsteak said
to the cook.
Judge-Now, sir, your punishment shall
depend upon the shortness and correct
ness of your answers. I suppose you live
by going round the docks.
Pete-No, sir, I can't go round the
docks without a boat, and I ain't gotnene.
Judge-Answer me. How do you get
your bread ?
Pete-Sometimes at the bakers, and
sometimes I eat tatesr.
Judge-No more of your stupid inso.
lence. How do you support yourself!
Pete-Sometimes on my legs and some.
on a chair.
Judge-I order you now to answer this
question correctly. How do you do ?
Pete-Pretty well, I thank you Judge.
r How do you do?
Judge-I shall commit you.
Pete-Well, you have committed your.
self first, that's some consolation.
Who would not be a rFaeer?- The
Louisville Courier pays the following
tribute to the occupation of the farmer :
" If a young man wants to engage in a
business that will ensure, in middle life the
greatest of leisure time, there is nothing
more certain than farming. If he has an
independent turn of mind, let him be a
farmer. Ifhe wants to engage in a healthy
occupation let him till the soil. In short,
if he would be independent, let him get a
spot of earth, keep within his means, be
temperate, to avoid the doctor; be honest
that he may have a clear conscience;
improve the soil, so as to leave the world
better than he found it, and then if he can.
not live happily anddie contented, there is
no hope for him."
A Prostestaat Pig.-A few weeks
since, a Hibernian lady in Bristol R. I.,
missed her pig; and having found him
after an arduous search, she was informed
that her pigship had broken through a win.
dow into the Episcopal church, and had
done five dollars worth of damage, She
replied: " The pig and the church mnay go
to the devil! I '11 pay no five dollars for
him if he has turned Prostestant."
O" The New York Times says there
are no less than two hundred astrologers,
clairvoyants and fortune tellers in that city.
It dent tell how many fools it-takes to sup
' ""Where was l, ma," said a little
urchin ope day to his mother, as he stood
gzing upon his drunken and prostrate
trther, " Where was I when you married
pa? Why did'nt you take me along?
I -could have picked out a better man than
(O"In the vicinity of Cape orn, there
is a race of giants, just discovered, of such
size that they cut their hair with a. saw,
and extract their teeth with a crowbar.
O * "You bachelors oughtto be taxed,"
said a lady to a resolute evader of the
noose matrimonial.. "I agree with you
perfectly, ma'm," was the reply, "bac..
elorism certainly is a luxury."
O¢ Keokuk is now a city of 10,000 in
habitants, and has a theater of respectable
size which is to be completed in May.
Io- Wthy is a man making love to a
married woman like at sheriff levying on
the wrong man's 'goods I Because he's
the victim of "a misplaced attachment."
O"z* " Landlord," said an exquisite,
"can you enable me to realize -from our
culinary stoeeshtbe pleasure of a few delect
morphiss, remdered iuoeious by igneous
martyrdom? " Hesukedfo baked sweet
" A little fuan nowand then,
Is relished by the wisest men."
Seek desert, but wait for distinction.
He doubles his troubles who borrows to
Genius will always work itself through
said a poet, when he found his coat was
out at the elbows.
The price of virtue, like that of liberty,
is eternal vigilance.
Many literary effusions proceed from
water on the brain.
The ambitious often fall into the ditch
while gazing at the stars.
We spend much of our life in making
blunders, and more of it in correcting
Men gravitate toward right, but are
continually drawn aside by disturbing
The high.minded, and the low-minded
come in contact without mixing, like oil
Mankind are split into companies, which
follow their captains, but see little of their
" I can hardly think a man to be in his
right mind," said Cicero, " who is desti
tute of religion.
Splendid qualities break forth in dark
times, like lightning from a thunder cloud.
A man cannot help what is done behind
his back--as the loafer said when he was
kicked out of doors.
Carlyle says, "Make yourself an honest
man, and then you may be sure there is
one rascal less in the world."
A Yankee describing an opponent says;
"I tell you what, sir, that man don't
amount to a sum in arithemetic---add hism
up and there's nothing to carry ! "
Suspicion is no less an enemy to virtue,
than to happiness: he that is already cor
rupt, is naturally suspicious, will quickly
He who commands himself, commands
the world too; and the more authority you
have over others, the more command you
must have over yourself.
An editor out west says-" If we have
offended any man in the short but brilliant
coarse of our public career let him send us
a new hat, and say nothing about it."
Very cool, indeed.
What astonishing beings would we be,
e could we effect all that we wish: or per
it haps, the will is not sincere that does not
effect its desire.
Opinions may be considered as shadows
of knowledge. If our knowledge be ac
curate, our opinions will be just. It is
very important that we do not adopt opin
ions too hastily.
" Woman is ever unsteady in her re
solves; her opinions are governed by
whim and caprice."
"Tom, you sot," said a temperance
man to a tippling friend, "what makes
you drink such stuff as you do ? Why
the very hogs wouldn't touch that brandy."
" That's cause they is brutes," said Tom.
"Poor creatures ! they don't no what's
" You want a flogging, that's what you
want," said a parent to his unruly son.
" I know it dad, but I'll try and get along
without it," said the little independent
To be able to laugh is the characteristic
of rational creatures. Beasts are always
grave when they are not frantic. and the
donkey, the most stupid of brutes, is like
wise the garvest of all.
Great minds are charitable to their bit
terest enemies, and on sympathise with
the failings of their fellow creatures. It is
only the narrow-minded who make no
allowance for the faults of others.
SAh, my good fellow," said one man to
another, slapping him familiarly on the
shoulders. "you're one of the men we
read of !"
" How so?" inquired the other. "Where
did you read of me? '
"In the rouc: unrorr"
"The man we red of" drew his fist,
but the other was at a safe distance,
" Does the razor take hold well,"
inquired the barber, as he cut away on
the bleeding cheek of his suffering victim.
" Yes," groaned the martyr, "it takes
hold first rate, but itdon't let go worth a
The people of Cincinnati are the bene
factors of the human race; for they "lard
the lean earth."
t Lady: (in .fashionable dress)-"Little
e boy, can I go through thisgate. to he Mr
t er ?" Bov-"Perhaps, marm, for a had
of hay went through this morning."