The evening world. [volume], July 30, 1888, EXTRA, Page 2, Image 2

About The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931

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MFV Vtf THE WORLD: MONDAY EVENING, JULY 30, 1886: . J
K;' THE WORLD.
P ralbalW y eu rnm MMW On
K MONDAY EVENING, JULY 3a
Br fvuscjfJPTioir to tux jsrxmtro
N(. ' EDITION (Including Fo$lag0),
$ I rzn noirrn, 30c; rsn year, $3A0.
M .' VOL. 29 NO. 9,841
fc; I lateitd al the Post.Offleest Mew York ee eecoad.c'jt,
mail nutter.
Hl! Sir BI TH AT IT8 REOULAR AVERAGE
gf " BONA-FIDE DAILY CIRCULATION DURUM
& THE FIRST SIX MONTHS OFTHIS
fcl' YEAR was eSe.267ANDTMM
it THIS IS AT LEAST ONE HUNDRED
K?' THOUSAND COPIES PER DAY MORE
ft. THAN THAT OF ANT OTHEB NEWSPAPER
B '" IN AMERICA
fv I BMA-riDECIRCUlATOHQFJHtSWk
i Dm WORLD )smoretmh Twice
$' AHO cOWUtTHREE TIMESJVM
K AS 7HAT0FTHeSUNDAYttWSPAPtt
Rt MW offK WHICH It POINT
fc, 0rADVR7tSINBJSCXTTQlHZ
g WDRLD., ijjjfc. -
Hf ' 'ALL HONEYS PAID FOR ADVEH-1
K?" TISIHB,IF,UPOK A PROPER TESTJ
' THE ABOVE STATEMENT IS NOT
aeaaR' elsl VEniFiEo. " jfflfi
Cr-, jptmiTnniniiiTiTttmfnmiiiimMatiriXI"
ff Circulation Books Always Open.
W7
' LEGISLATION FOB LABOR,
, The heartless assumption of the dovil-take-
$&( tho-hindmott school of political economist,
BBk thnt lows can do nothing to ameliorate the
UE condition of the working people and the
poor, hut that everything must be loft to
Rj' moral forces and to the bloodless rule of
& "supply and demand," is completely upBet
HkL y n0 operation of the Factory Inspection
lav.
- Tho account of this system of inspection,
BJT us givon in The Would this morning, 1 a
Ri revelation of tho cood that may be done
Hp' through wise legislation.
Kr,' Fire-escapes have been secured in bun-
Bp dreds of faotoriest machinery has been
k guarded against danger to life ; thousands of
Kf children under the lawful ago have been
&.'' rescued from ignorance and premature toll i
ij the sanitary provisions of factories have been
H& Improved, and in general the lot of the work-
ny. ! ing people has been made safer and healthier
rc more tolerable.
. Greed needs a govornor.
BSSSSBMl
BOBTAIL IMP0DEHOE.
HmPJ) Ono of tho bobtail car companies has had
ff' the gall to sue an expressman for damages
& to a car in a collision caused by its driver's
HjJy absorption in chasing boys oil tho roar plat.
Bffirc form, instead of looking ahead of him.
?& These nickel-pinching and public-defying
BngR corporations will next be Biiiug tho neirs of
H persons crushod under thoir wheels for
&$' " muBsing up the track " with their mangled
naaaRis' bodies.
Bw' The Board of Aldermen can abate the dan-
Bk gerous nuieauco at onco by requiring all cars
H? to have conductors. If the Aldermen don't
fif move in the matter tho inf erenco will be plain
& that they have been striking for boodle.
Btd' THE JOKE. CONTEST,
&' Tns Evenino Wobld recognizes and ro.
Tm. sponds to the popular demand for " some-
Ej thing new."
Ri Uence the Joke Contest, for a prize of $26,
BYlt& with tho Hon. Bin, Nte, Premier Jokist of
f&fi tho Unitod States and contiguous territory,
Bwhgi M th Judge.
Hfjbf The "snicker tournament," as Mr. Nte
f(H? felicitously styles it, starts off with a very
bbbbbImp excellent impromptu joke by tho Judge him-
H- self not entered for the competition, of
BVbIu, course, but thrown out as an evidence of
BVijm good faith and of unabated skilled talent on
BVftK the Judge's part. The silly affectation of
Hm stilted names for summer homes is woll hit
BMSw ot m r YE'S ".Blipperyelmhurst."
uKlEr n now toe Prelm'naries are arranged
BtEKsT (m J0 '""' opened, put on your joking cap
HS and begin.
BmfsiC " Sunsot " Cox's place is in tho House of
Bljfc't,; Bopresentativos. Kew York has a thousand
H?raF men who would mako good Mayors, hut
BjKBr Bc&roely another one who is so well flttod for
BHftXi useful service in Cougrebs as is Mr. Cox. lie
HB $m is the right man in the right place and should
BB jrlE be kept thero.
BJiiW Gen. UinniBON doos not recognize a bust
Bli of his grandfather. This is ungrateful.
BmHSr Bkcjamn would not have been recognized
BjBW as a statesman except for his grandfather.
BBivV' A question that the President would, per.
VM haps, rather not heart "My dear, did you
BBL&K "When will the Giants' long lane of good
BBfl luck have a turn ?
BBBBBBBBBBMfc
BBjH; ' Site Did tb Bete Kbe Uniw,
Bl f hmrpr' BMr,
BBBk, Mr. Bullion Whit induced too, liarlt, to tell
BVUR Ird BromleluU tsit oar peufeblow tue cost
BRvTi v! teDstoneln Wsat do you mean by ten ttone ?
BBlffij, i Mrs, Dalllon Tbere joa go. Alwtji finding
BBk, ftolt wltb me. Yoa told me to drop my American-
BBWH Umswtitn Lord UromleljB dlaed here, and I did.
K'.N Tfoa alio told me ii a none u eqoal to four-
ttLf . 1 tecs coon.l", and 1 m tare the rut coct X14a
K - 4 Asa tbra lira Buuiaatant Into tttrs over the ua
BsBBBBssm " ESSJt'UB' of n"'lll", SMurai, aad Mr.
BBBV - M parusoiM.
HBBBBBBsMiL
BWBBVv,
nBHHHBBBBaBBBBBBgBBMB! t
HHnBvflBBBBttB&BBkii.'
MONDAY'S MARKETS.
Lettuce, B cents.
Kit plant, U cents.
feu, 00 etata a peek.
WUte squua, T cents,
Corn, H cents a doitn.
Ltmonj, ll for S3 eenta,
rin spples, IB to M oents,
Orsnges, eo cents a doien.
Currants, ll cents a pound.
Ilorsersdlah, 10 cents a root.
Green okrt, S3 cents a quirt.
NecUrlnea, M rents a dozen,
Olsckherrlei, cents a qosrt.
Cnesmbtn, SO cents a dozen.
Fplatch, SO cents a ball peek.
I'esoaci, GO cents s dozen; best ll.
Cauliaower, U cents; belt, 23 cents.
rium, 23 ceuti a dozen, bet: &0 cents.
drapes, SO ctnta a ponud; brat, 30 centi.
Bireet potatoei, S3 centa a amall mcaaare.
rears, 40 cent a dozen; beit, CO to B0 cents.
Celery, B0 ccntaabuncb; Near Jtraej celery, IB
centa.
Herts, 4 cents a bunch; carroU, Scents; turnips,
B cents.
AMONC BROOKLYN'S CUARDIANS.
Opt. Jotin W. Eaaon, ot the Second Precinct,
Is proud or bit new station-bouse on Fulton and
Front streets.
Police Capt. UcKelrey, ottbe Fourth Frtclnot,
basjatt celebrated tbe close ot bis twenty-oftb
jesr on Brooklyn's force.
James Campbell, the telegrapb operstor st Police
Headquarters, I regarded as tbe most courteous
and pleasant gentleman In that tervtee.
ratrolman Keller, of tbe First I'reclnct, bas a
valuable beat. It Is tbe blook from Mjrtla avenue
to Adams street, on Fulton avenue. There sre
four ot Brooklyn's large banks en the post.
THEY MUST BE TALKED ABOUT.
August Von Little Is a very social Individual, and
bas many friends.
Harry Basselt, clerk for Clark, Jervls A Co., la
studying for tbe ministry.
Dsvld M. Drury Is well known and much thought
ot by tbe Eastern Dlatrlot people.
It la rumored that Uhsster Dubois, of Fulton
Uarket, Is to beoome a benedict.
Frank UcCutcheon never appears en the street
unleea attired In tbe latest fashion.
Will Knnd, of Hait A Hon, la feeling rather
" bine " became he can't go to tbe country.
John Kills, who nearly lost an eye by running
Into a baby carriage In a dark ballwsy, Is Improv
ing. The northern part ef this State bas peculiar
charms ror Walter Allendloc Uls friends wonder
what they sre.
WORLDLINGS.
Gen. Sherman Is said to have sn aversion to new
clothes, and tbe statement Is made that he has
never been seen In s new suit.
More then 9,000,000,000 cigarettes were sold in
the United Statea during tbe year 1887. The entire
business Is In the handa oMess than halt a dozen
firms, who expect tbls yesr to lnoreaae their
product
There sre st least half a dozen literary women of
the present day whose good looks refute the ancient
slander that a woman to be literary must be
homely. Mrs. Duruett, Maud Howe, Amelia
Hives Chandler, Dudu Fletcher, Blanche Willis
Howard and lime. Lunza are all bandioine women.
A large lump of pure copper weighing eighty
three pounds was recently found near Northport,
Mloh., In a Deld remote from any ore-bearing
rook. It abowa signs of having been worked by
means ot rude tools a long time ago, and is sup
posed to be a rello of the prehlstorlo mound
builders. Among the shrewdest men of business In Boston
U the Her. Dr. a A. Bsrtol, pastor of the West
Church. Many years ago be bought hundreds of
acres of the barren land on the coast near Mn
cheater, Mass., foreseeing that aomo day It would
be valuable. In reoent years millions of dollars
have been spent in the erection of summer villas
on this land, and Dr. Bartol'a fortune has grown
accordingly.
A Way to Ills Dnderstsvndla
irven riM,
Mamma Harry, what have you been doing to
the poor dog T He's been howling dreadfully.
Harry Well, he knocked over your vaae, and I
spoke to him, and I guess hli feelings were hurt.
Mama Nonsense I Dogs can't understsnd what
you say.
Harry Oh, yes, they can when you kick 'em.
Menday Slernlaa at the Hotels.
J. IL BazhfoTd, ot Providence, Is staying at the
As tor.
W. Maok, ot Booheatsr, Is stopping st the Bar
tholdU 11. L Fain, the " Fir of London " pjroteohnlat,
U at theOlUey.
John Cheney, ot Crown Point, N. Y., is stopping
at the HiurtoTant.
Krsklne M. r helps, one of Chlcsgo's swell Dem
ocrats, is a guest at the Windsor.
llev. Henlck Johnson, of Chicago, and William
a lilslr, of St. Louis, sre being taken care of at
the Grand.
Keiilalored at the Brunswick sre Henry Rarity,
of fltuburg; W. V. Keji, of Chicago, snd A. IL
Wheelock, of Boston.
At the Hoffman sre J, Howard Clark, of Man
cheater, EuulinJ, and ex-Congreaaman George C
Uazelton, of Wlaconalu.
Bula Einilc. of ltlo Ue Janerlo; Jamea Camilla
Sainaon, ot Vienna, and W. B. Kay, ot Bruns
wick, Ga., are st the Albemarle.
Among the morning arrival at the Fifth Avenue
were W. F. Hopkins, ol si. Louis; Hilton Vance,
of Flodlay, (J., and It. K. l'eake, of London.
Stopping ut the St. Jamea aro ex-Congressman
Horace V. l'age, of California; W. T. Adams, of
Boston, and Charles W. lllnkle, of Cincinnati
It Wli. All Fixed.
Frni JmJj,
"Congratulate mr, old man I I have written a
book and lt'a going to be a big anooeaa. "
"H'ml you aeem remarkably aangulne; bow do
you know it la going to be a success ?"
' Becsuae I've got It all fixed. I have made ar
rangements with several leading papers to de
nounce my work aa robbWb. and with several oth
ers to accuse me of plagiarism; 1 excect that tbe
Oral edition will be exhausted in a montn."
Home From Ilia Vacation.
fYwn IA B&li rraiMrjl,l
"Ah, howd'jedo, Charley T"
I'm not feeling welt at alL The fact la, I
have'nt slept well lately, and tnen I've been eat
ing too much hot bread and fried ttesk and wilted
vegetables."
on, I seel you've been on your vacation.
Well, cheer up, old man I jou'to got nearly a year
ahead of jou to recuperate. "
Enjoyed Himself.
mi IA Buf mla Cearltr,
" Java good time!" asked a druggist ot one ot
the grocers yesterday on his return from the pic
nic 'Lard, yes," responded the grocer, "It
beet olive eier seen in the weigh of a picnic before.
Usually I don't carrot all for sucb things, but tbls
was very spicy, snd we were rslsln Cain all day.
Yes, it gets butter and bntur every isat,M
A JOKE CONTEST.
Hero's a Fine Chance to Try
Your Wits.
Twenty-Five Dollars for tbe Best Origi
nal Joke.
Bill Nye Assumes the Fearful Iteapentl
bliltr of Passing Jndgmrnt-A DlpUmatlc
Correspondence Ihnt Iteaulted In Ills
Consent Tbe Corneal Open to Everybody
Jokes Slay Consist of Ono Word or as
Olany as Two Hundred A Novel and
mirtb-l'roToUlna; Journalistic Feature.
Tho following diplomatic correspondence
speaks for itself t
A Hold Proposition.
Orrici Evehino WoraD, 1
July 3C, 1B88. I
Mil Ky:
Deaii Bib: Tnr Evxjereo Would has de
cided to offer a prize of $25 for tho best joke
furnished by its readers. Itecognizing your
own experience and ripe judgment in mat
ters of this kind it is the wish of the editor
thst vou would kindly consent to act as
judge in the matter and pass upon such jokos
aa may be submitted. Vonrs truly,
Editor Eveninq Would.
A Vary (Jnarded Keaponae.
BLlrrKBTXLMIIDBKT, StATKX ISLAND, 1
July 37, 1888. f
Tt Ma JMMer tf Tin A.( World)
Diab Bib t Your favor of recent date ask
ing me to umpire a joke match and general
jen d'osprit scuttle for a prize offered by The
Evinino Wobld, is received.
I fully appreciate the delicato and deserved
tribute to my sagacity thus impliod and
though the call comeB to me like a olap of
thunder from a clour sky, I am half inclinod
to accept tho invitation.
First, howovor, 1 Mould likn to inquire if I
can do it in my ovcry-day clotbes, or will it
be a dross affair ?
Bocond, what aro tho rules as to entries?
Will tboy be confined to green jokors, two
and tlireo year olds, or will they be open to
all clnsses?
Third, will my rulings us judge bo liablo to
nrouso jealousies and auimoHities which
might injure my prospocts for 1892?
Fourth, what salary aro you paying your
Joko Judge thiB year ? Yours truly,
Bill Nib.
Willing lo Mention Ilia Nome.
Evxnino Would Orriox, 1
Nkw Yoiik, July 28, 1888. j
nWAV..
Daxn But t Yours of yesterday is at hand.
In reply we will state that you need not
ohnngo your alothes while acting as judge
or previously or afterwords unless you
choose. Tho entries will be general and the
offer is open to the civilized world for the
ohamplonship. Your action in this matter
cannot possibly interfere with your Presi
dential prospects in 1892. We regard them
as already settled. As to salary, we have
always regarded personal contact with tho
unctiou8snd dolicious humor to be turned in
during the prize contest as amplo roward for
the pleasing task of arbitrating some. How
ever if that Bhonld not ho suffloiont wo will
oheerfully montion your name in tho paper.
Yours truly, Editob Evuuno Wobld.
Mr. Nro Accepts.
BLIFFXBYBLMnOBST, STATEN ISLAND, I
July 80, 1888. )
I ( JMIfer of T jrnfi,7 World :
Dun Sin: Since receiving your letter of
the 28th, stating that you would bo willing to
insert my namo in the paper next to pure
reading matter, I can hardly vtait for tho
time to come when I Bliall begin to judge
I hope vou will insist that all jokes shall bo
as pure as posslblo before they aro suhmittod
to mo. Doubtful but facetious humor una
all right as lato as twenty years ago, but now
it is barred out, l'uro lun in the pnpers is
doing much good, but I shall always do all I
can to koep out those elements whioh have
douo so much towards debasing other do
partmonts of literature.
I would also suggest that no joke should
exceed 200 words in length. However, you
know better than I do what rules should gov
ern tho snicker, tournament which you con
tomplato. '
Iu closing I can do no loss than to iucloso
my personal godspeod and hope that your
efforts to imbue the joko with a spirit of
mirth may provo thoroughly successful.
Should you montion my name in the paper
without advertising marks, will you please
mall me four extra copies and send one to
Cyrus Bullthistlo, Baginaw, Mich., and
obligo, yours truly, Bill Nye.
Conditions of the Contest.
Following are the conditions of The Even
ino Would's joko contest t It is opou to
everybody men, w onion and children. Any
person can submit ono or as many jokes as
dobired. The decision, howevor, will bo
made on tho merits of tho best joke iu the
collection.
Tho jokes must be original, that is to say,
they shall not have previously appeared iu
print to tho knowledge of the competitor.
Each joko must bo written on one side of a
sheet of paper, or if two or more sheets aro
required, they must bo neatly secured to
gether. Each joko must bear the namo of
tho competitor aud tho dato on which it was
sent.
Tho jokos may consist of from one word to
200. The latter limit must not bo exceeded,
and competitors should bear in mind that
brevity is often " the soul of wit." A joko
of a few lines, if firtt class, will stand as good
a chance of winning the prize as one of
twenty lines.
The priu will bo $23 for the best joke sub
mitted. Dill Nye will read all jokes sent iu,
and will in his ripe judgment determine the
winner. Some of tho jokes will be published
from timo to timo, but the publication or
nou.publicntiou of a joko will have no bear
ing upon tho final decision. A joke may be
published aud yet finally rulod out because it
may ho a " chestnut."
The Evkninq Wobld cannot undertake to
acknowledge the receipt of all jokes tent in,
other thuu that tho publication will of course
bo nu acknowledgment. Great care, however,
will bo taken to preserve all jokes recohod,
and to see that judgment is passed upon them
by Mr. Nye.
It has not yet been determined when the
oonteat will dose. That will depend upon
the degreo of interest aroused by the con
test. But It will be well for competitors to
end in thslr Jokss at once, as in the case of
two Jokes of equal merit, priority of receipt
would determine the prize winner.
MR. 00X WONT BE MAIOE.
no's Willing la Hlar In Congress and
Would Open Htayvreaat Park.
Congressman 8. 8. Cox spent yesterday at
Manhattan Beach, lie was in bod nearly all
day suffering from a severe cold.
" I am not very 111," said Mr. Cox to an
Evzkijjo Wobld reporter, " and please do
not mako me out a sick man, 1 have a cold
which may get worso unless I take care of it.
I arrived from Washington yesterday morn
ing, and Mrs. Cox and I came down hero last
evening, I decided to undergo a sweating
Crocess to-day, and you see I am under Iheso
Innkets. I will bo all right to-morrow and
expect to leave for Washington in a day or
two, probably to-morrow."
"Mr. Cox," said Tui Evenino WonLD
man, " you have been mentioned as a candi
date for Mavor."
Mr. Cox smiled all over his face.
" You may say," ho said, " that my namo
has been mentioned for Mayor without my
authority, I am not a candidate for tho
nomination for Mayor, and would not accept
n nomination if It were unanimously ten
dered to mc. I have no fancy for an admin
istrative office, snd I much prefer tho lifo and
duties of u Congressman. Tlio duties and
tho work which devolvo upon a Congressman
aro harder than most pooplo suppose, but I
havo been so long in Congrers I am uwsd to
the routine work, and my lastn for public
lif a runs in that channel. No, sir, tlio ofilco
cf Mayor of New York bas no allurement for
me."
" Then yon are a condidato for renomino
tion for Congress?"
"If it is the dosire of the people that I
should roturn I am w illine to be returned. I
will not attempt to force myself upon tho
pooplo."
" Thoro is said to be some opposition to
your return among the Tammany Hall lead
ers of your district?"
Mr. Cox said ho had seen something in the
newspapers about the opposition, but did not
wish to speak upon tho subject. Ho, how
ever, Bpoke as if he would be renominated
when the timo came, or at lens t intimated
that he was not feeling uneasy about being
sent back.
Turning from the subject Mr. Cox said he
was certain that the bill converting Govern
or's Is'snd ioto a public Sea Island Park
would pass both houses.
" The island," ho remarked, " is no longer
of any practical use as a means for harbor
defeiiFO."
hittiyvesant Park is just outsido of tho
northern boundary of tho district now
represented by Mr. Cox, and he was told of
the efforts of The Evenino Would to liavo
that park kept opon evenings for the benefit
of the working people; that Iho opening of
tho park gates would bo of benefit to tho
poor peoplo of his district who reside north
of Houston stroet, west of First avenue and
cast of tho Bowery and Third nvenuo.
" I heard of tho movement of The Evening
Wobld to keep the gates of Btuyvosant Park
open after sunset," he replied, " and I am
heartily in accord with it. There is no rea
son why the poor peoplo of tlio noignbor
hood should not have a plnce to get a frosh
breath of air on summorovenings, and I have
no doubt that if tho peoplo interested in the
subject present their petition to the Park
Commissioners in a proper light their prayer
will be granted. The district 1 represent ex
tends to within a block of Btuyvesant Pork."
NO SALTATION ARMI THEFT.
tien. Booth Is Coining to Inspect, Not to
Ileoraanlze the Forces.
Tho following paragraph appearod in a
morning paper to-day :
Gen. Bootn, tbe Commander-in-Chief of the
Salvation Army, will lesve Xnglsnd for this coun
try early next month. He Intends to reorgsnlze
the army in tbe United States. One of tbe chief
officers now iu ohsrge of the American army Is
aald to he accuitd of appropriating- material valued
at 180, 000 belonging to the army to his own use.
Gen. liooth may appoint a court martial to try the
case.
An Evenino Wobld reporter called at tho
headquarters of the army, at 111 Keade street,
this morning, to inquire about this report.
Ballington Booth, son of the General, who
superintends the work of tbe army in the
United (Hatos, had not reached his office, but
Major Jones, his private secretary, was there
and talked cheerfully about the matter.
" There has been no trouble with officers
appropriating materials aud property to their
own uso since that unfortunate affair about
11 vo years ago, when Thomas E. Mooro de
serted us and went ovor in Brooklyn to or
ganize an army of his own.
" Why, we haven't got $80,000 worth of
goods that any one could appropriate. Wo
expect Oou. Booth over from London this
full to inspect tho army, not to reorganizo it,
uud to give our work a boom, as be did two
years azo. Ha is a wonderful man and in
fuses now life into our army by his presence
and words, like any other great general."
Notes of Labor.
The Clothing Trades Section should meet to
night. "Antonio" wisely discusses usury Intbecom
poilnz rooms, in the current number of the Union
J'rinter.
Jamea J. Coogin, the talked-of labor candidate
for Major, will oome over from Kuropo lu the
sleamablp Cltj of ltome.
Appropriate resolutions were adopted by the
Central Laoor Union yesterday upon the death of
Courtlandt Palmer, the philanthropist and labor
reformer.
A special committee of the Central Labor Union
will inquire lato tbe difficulty between the Lock,
smiths and "Railing-Makers' Uulon and tbe House
smiths' Uulon.
A committee of three from the Central Labor
Union will call on the Board ot Edncatton and re
nutat it not to let any oontracu for schoolhouse
repairs to men living outslda of the city.
Porters, packers and drivers in the furniture,
carpet and bedding trsde, met at 6 Delsucey
street jesierusy. sud dlscussid orgsnlzstlon snd
shorter hours of labor. Many Joined tne Ono and
All Astoclatlou.
Congressman O'Neill will be armed with an lm
rat use petition praying for tbe pasaage of hta Con
vict Labur bill, wblch prohibits the sals of prison
maile vugda ouUide of tbe States In which they are
miiiutsutured.
TMrty delegates from the local unions of the
pluinoera and steam and a-aa-tlttera left this city
last uljriit for llosion to attend the convention of
Nmlouil Trades District Assembly No. 83, ot the
Knlgli'a of labor.
Julius Wiener realgned his position as Walking
Delevate of Walters' Union, No. 1, because be be
liced there was no need of two delegates under
present circumstances. Mr. Wiener Is ami a dele
gate lo the Ceutral Labor Uulon.
President Ham Compere, of tbe American Fed.
eruttoii ot Labor, shoot handa last Saturday at the
hea llo.cn Kallroad depot. Coney Island, with his
old iriend liloudln.whoin he saw cross tho Niagara
ltlvcr years ago on a tight rope.
Kfforts are being made to make tne Labor Day
parade the greatest ever known In the history of
imilxr deroonstrstlons. 1 be leadera are especially
anxious to ahow the political alcnlOcanco ot the af
fair, iu view of tho present campaign.
'I be revised constitution of Typographical Union
No. 6 will be placed In tbe handa of the chairmen
uf chapels In a day or two. The most Important
otiaugesuroDosed relate to tbe msuner of paying
snd ricelptlng for duet and the establishment of a
sinking fund.
AccotdtDg to tho report of tbe Ceotrsl Labor
Vulon'a Law Committee, who went to Albany to
feme an amendment to the Conspiracy law, also
lee elation agslnst prison contract labor, the Ite
puullcan legislators, with one exception, opposed
labor reform, while the Oovernor andtbeucmo
cratlo members of both bouses recommended labor
measures.
a i
A Host All Hound.
VSI l XKA.l
Young Author (to friend) I'm thinking ot taking
a vacatlou, Jack.
Jack flood idea. Charity.
Youiu Author what kind of a vacation would
jou advlae ue to take?
Jack A literary vacation, Charley.
ttnsiLL's TEXTOIxa ConoiAX. prodntas calm snd
bssllblui rsposs darug all atsgM el Mstbiag, afto. .
-iiiumtiM!mm
FK0M TUE CITY'S OTIEL
o
DRIFT CAUGHT HERS AND TITERS BI
"ETENINQ WORLD" BEPORTERfl.
A O rata Groeor and a Nlajht Compositor
slave a OIntnal Reare.
Frank Rowley, or " Patsy," as he is affec
tionately called by his fellow compositors,
sets type at night and lives up in Eighty
seventh street.
After finishing his work tho other
night, ho started for homo and at about 3.30
put his night key in tho front door of his
house.
A groccryman lived on tho floor below
Frank's apartments, who arises pretty early
in order to get to market. On this particular
morning tho grocer nroso a trifle earlier than
usual, and when Frank had gone half way
up tho first flight of stairs he was clutched
about tho throat bv a largo hand, while there
aroso unearthly yells for help and police.
The cries soon brought the other inmates
to tho sccuo with a light, and they tried to
explain to the excited grocer that Itowlev
uns a resident of the house: but he wouldn't
let go, and continued his yellB until two po
licemen camo to his assistance.
When ho quieted down the whole affair was
oxplained aud the polico left the houno.
The grocerymnu apologized for bis mistake,
but excused himself by saying that ho was
onco attacked by footpads, and ever Bince
thon ho had been vory nervous when alono
in the darknoss.
Bowley has suppliod himself with n dark
lantern, in preference to running any further
risk of being throttled by an excited greon
grocer.
If Darby Dllsaed Clreen Turtla Bleak, II o
Nnvrd 10 Scuts on Vrnl.
A strango couple was taking its pleasure at
Coney Island yesterday.
It was Darby and Joan, robbed of all
poetry and reduced to plain prose.
She was clad in a queer dress that covered
her robust form like a bathing suit. It was
of somo bluo material, trimmed with cheap
laco. On hor stalwart head porchod a black
straw hat, and on her upper lip was a mus
tache tbat would bo tho envy of anyyountr
man of sixteen.
Ho was moro simple in his nttiro and physi
oguomy. His forehead began ot the end of
bin nose, and ran back, like a toboggan slide,
to tho extreme apox of his bkull. His short,
white hair was as closo to his crauium as it
could be and leave any hold lor tho roots.
Tho pair wandered past tho carosucls, tho
sausage suops, the cntch-ponny shows, and
finally on fo the voranda of tho Hotel
Brighton. Thoy drifted in an uncertain way
to a tabic. Tho CO. 70, 75 and 1.00 numerals
after tho articloB of food struck a cold chill
into them.
" Meriar, I'mgoin' to oat, ef costs $2 to do
it," said tho old gentleman, with fiendish do
tormiuatiou. Thereupon the old boy ordered tho first
thing on tho entrees, which chanced to bo
greon turtlo bteak. Ho had followed tho
right-bund column of figures and this btruck
him ns cheap as anything. " Morior" in
dulged in an humblo clam chowdor.
As soon as tho old fellow got hiB Bteak ho
began to look doubtful. Every mouthful
strengthened tho doubt, or rather wcakoned
it, until at tho end he said with grim cor.
tainty :
" Meriar, that's broaded veal cutlets!"
He turned to tho waiter and charged him
with infidelity to his duty. In the meantime
" Meriar " scanned tho bill of faro and pres
ently gavo her liego lord a kick under the
table to say no more. So ho subsided and
thoy drifted off.
As they got out of reach of the waiter
" Meriar " said in a tone of suppressed
triumph :
" John, them veal cutlets, with some name
they had on the list, was 70 cents! and the
greon turtlo was only CO I"
John had made 10 cents, in her view, out
of Manager Cunningham. He had missed
greon turtlo steak, CO cents, and got for that
sum veal cutlets a la Macedoino, which were
70 on tho bill. They both went off chuck
ling. The Curious Thlnca that Made a Reporter
Aek Queatlona.
While passing through an east-side thor
oughfare an Evening Wobld reporter's at
tention was attracted to a stand in front of a
fish store on which there appeared at the
first glance to bo a number of long pieces of
gelatine.
A bright little chap who was found inside
tho store said tbat tho curious looking things
which had attracted the reporter's attention
were " weakfish sounds." He could not givo
any information, however, as to what use the
" sounds " could bo put.
Subsequently the reporter ascertained that
the "bounds" were nothing more than the
bladder of the fish dried.
Thoy aro used by cider manufacturers and
saloon-keepers for purifying and clarifying
liquor and elder.
Up to less than three years ago thoy were
used very extensively by the Long Island
fanners. They were then sold at the same
prices that now prevail CO cents to $1.25 a
pound. It takes about sixty to make a pound,
and each ono will purify two gallons of
" stuff."
Threo years ago tho druggists put the price
up to $3.50 and $4 a pound, but the formers
"Kicked" and began using sand. This
answers the purpose for the time being, but
after a short time the liquor " clouds up "
the same as before.
The trade in " sounds " is increasing again
now and the fish salesmen may look forward
to baving their pockets lined with money
onco more.
A Fine Uun Which Made a Conductor Sloral
Ixe on Some Peoplo.
A Sea Beaoh train for Coney Island had
partially slowed up at Bath Junction when
two young mon hastily jumped off and ran
across tho tracks to catch a Manhattan Beaoh
troin that was just pulling out.
After an exciting race as the train was
momentarily gathering headway tho young
men scrambled on board amid a volley of
cheers from both trains.
" Some peoplo are awful thick," disgust
edly baid the conductor of tho Sea Beach
train. " At the bont landing we havo big
s.gtis posted nu showing people which side
to go, and in audition to that thero aro mon
constantly calling out, ' This way for tho Bea
lteach rood,' and 'This sido forMunhatton
Beach,' but. notwithstanding tnat thero are
hundreds of peoplo overy week who take the
wrong trains.
" On Third nvenuo thoro are two depots,
both of which are easily distinguished by tho
signs, but then, as I said before, some people
arc awful thick," and tho conductor, with
a sigh, resumed the gathering of tickets.
A Novelty In Urooklrn Necktlee, Good
Until Next November.
The latest campaign novelty seen in
Brooklyn is a double necktie.
The outer covering, when pulled down by
a piece of tape attached to the lower end.
shows a double picture of Cleveland and
Harrison.
"Which will win?" is a very suggestive
Inscription. They are selline: very rapidly.
The nioomlna-dalo Heat Club.
The annual summer-night's festival of the Bloom
Ingdale Boat Club, held at Lion Fark on Saturday,
was a wtU attended and successful affair. Tbe
following cluba were represented: Friendship and
Wyanoke Boat Clubs, of Harlem; Colombia Yacht
Club, Hudson Itlver Yaoht Club; Hillsides. Wa
verly, Oermanla AUsntio and Hudson Boat Clubs.
Tbtro were also delegations from the New York,
Bloomlngdal and Hudson City Turners, and from
the Bchotlier Turn and Sohwlag Club,
g2S
BRIGHT SITS OF CHILD TALK.
Baying of tat Sagoo and Ilnmorleia of the
Fature.
The Evxxixa Wobld proposes from time
to time, as opportunity occurs, to publish as
subordinate feature the bright sayings of
bright children, original and selected from
all sources, inoluding compilations. When
ever tho origin of a saying is known, duo
credit will be given. Tho readers of Tub
Evenino Wobld are requested to send in for
publication any clever juvenile observations
that may be heard in their own family circle.
Mr. Howard Paul is responslblo for tho
collection of tho following:
DlOlrnlt to Tell.
Little Pat was in tho habit of falling out of
bed during Iho night, and his father, to
break him of tho habit, would remind him of
it tho next morning. One day, as usual, his
father said lo him : " Here, Fat. vou fell out
of bed again." " Oh, no, papa," said Pat;
" it was the pillow : for I wont up to see. and
tbe pillow was on tho floor by tho ildo of tbe
bed." " What mado you cry. then V" asked
his father. "Well, jou Bee." said Pat, in
his most sober mannor, ' It was dark, and I
couldn't tell whether it was mo or the pil
low." A lilt of Jnvenllr Wisdom.
A littlo grandncphew of Prince Bismarck
was sitting on tho Prince's knee one day,
when ho Middenly cried out: " Oh, uncle, I
hope I shall bo a groat man like you whon I
growupl" "Why, my child?" asked his
undo. " Bccausoyou are so groat and ovory
one fears you." " Wouldn't you ralhor ovory
one loved you ?" Tbe child thought n littlo
and then replied : " No, undo ; for when
people lovo you thoy cheat you, but whon
they fear you they let you cheat them."
A Clrvrr Excuse.
" Peter, what aro yon doing to that boy ?"
said a schoolmaster. " He wnntcd to know
if you take ten from Bovouteen how many will
remain: so I took ten of hiB apples to show
him, and now he wants me to give 'em back."
" Well, why don't you do it?" " Coz, sir, he
would forget how many is loft."
A Alerchnnt In Trouble.
" I thought I understood you to say that
your father was a merchant only n week
ago," said a lady to n littlo girl who was
bolicittng alms; "and if that is so, how
could your family have been reduced to
beggary ?" " It is true, ma'am ; my father
kept a chestnut stand, and last week ho took
a bad half-crown."
A Youncr Art Critic.
A child, after looking at n marble group
roprebenting an old man, having in his arms
a child, who was pulling his beard, asked his
mother: " I gay, mamma, why does tho old
man pull such a face ? It can't hurt him
now he's stone."
Compnratlve I'rnlse.
"Mo thinks a great deal of you, I think,"
said a littlo girl to a physician. " Why do
you think that, my child ?" " Becauso I
beard hor say sho thought you wasn't nearly
euch a fool as that other old humbug."
A Hat Wnkinir Up.
A littlo boy, who had seen his father's silk
hat very rough and untidy, said i " Pa, your
hat is waking up from its nap."
FUN FOR AFTER DINNER.
The Latest at the Windsor.
Pud. I
British Visitor Is me luggage all down the lift T
Hotel Clerk Yes, sir.
British Visitor nave it put on tbe stage for Bos
ton, me boy; and, me bor, If you'd tend along
one of tbe drivers that Bret Usrte and Mark Twain
have made so familiar, you'd oblige met
A Uellable Servant.
fV-am Ttxat Stllnga.
"Here la a note I want you to hand to Mrs.
Lively when you are sure nobody Is looking," said
a New York society man to a colored servant at a
fashionable Fifth avenue residence.
'Yes, tab," replied Sambo, abowlng hit Ivories.
' But, mind you, don't whisper a word to a liv
ing soul.
'You kin jess rest easy about dat, boss. Yes.
terday I fotcbed dat ar same woman a letter from
a nudder gemman, an' I ain't said a word 'bout It
to nobody yiL Yoa kin Jess rest easy 'bout my
opening my mouf."
Selecting a Daok to Bull.
VM Barptr't Butar,
Young Lady (to train boy) I'm going through to
Chicago, and I want a novel to read.
Train-Boy Do you live in Chicago, ma'am T
Yonng Lady Yes.
Train-Boy Well, there's a book that'll suit yout
dollar' n' half.
Young Lady Has it a pleasant ending T
Traln-Boy-Oh, yea, 'mj tbe lovers is dlvorcsdln
the last chapter.
Block Broken.
irVa- lAa Eoc.
Very Stout Old Lady (to Clerk) Young man, I
want to git a corset.
Clerk Br for yourself, ma'am T
Old Lady Sartslnly; d'ye think I'm buyuV cor
sets for the kermunliy r
Clerk (dubiously) Well, I'm sorry, ma'am, but
our stock on on certain sizes Is badly broken up.
An Important Question.
frVom JVarat SlHgi.
The candidates for positions on the police are
examined In regard to their medical knowledge.
Suppose joa find a man lying on the sidewalk
In a comatose condition, what would you dot"
asked the aergeant at the deak.
"Sure, tlr, I'd six him where he got his
whiskey," replied the would-be policeman.
Watcblnar tba Game.
(Van (Aa Kpoc.
Deacon I was terribly shocked, -my dear, to dis
cover on my way home from churoh a match game
of baseball being played on the rtcant lot near tbe
nark.
Wlfe Was It that whioh makes yon so very late,
Deacon T
ia a.
A Fair Trial
Of Hood's BsrsspwilU will eontlnoa any raaaonabta
parson tbst it doas powaa irsst madlelaal merit. Wa
do not claim that every bottle will aooompusb a mbaola,
bat wa do know tbst uaarly ayary bottle, Ulan aoeord
Us to duatloaa, does produoa poalUya benefit. Its pe
culiar curstlye power Is shown by many remarkable
cures.
" I was run down from cloae application to work, but
wss told I bad malula and was doaad with quinine. As.,
wbiab was useless. I decided to take Hood's Saraspa
rilla and am sow feellni Strom and obeerful. I feel
eaUafied It will benefit any who aire It a fair U." W,
B, BlaUian, 201 Bprlsg street, New York City.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Bold by all dnwsists. II i aut for tt. Prepared only by
O, L HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, LoetU, Mass,
IU0 D0IS OM DOIXAJt
rOU THE TENEMENT BABIES, f
GOUVBBNEUR HOSPITAL WILL FILL "Tflg
BTEN1NQ WORLD'S" PEMORIPTIONB.
Many Pathatlt Little Fareels of Half. Warn
Baby Garnente Received Too Anoay.
nous fiamnrllnne Accomplish AIneh Good
Devotion of Poor Mothers to tho Wei.
fare of Their Children.
-s I 'JjDjijI 1TAHD lot it is. doc
Jf? I fcJPTB tor to D0 B0 Poor thnt
mm us"T4 I yon cnnt eTon Eet
'llUJWrSJ 111 me'c'no fr ynr alck
r ImIm uoby," -sorrowfully la.
Lm r wTTi Inc'nt011 MrB- Qeist, of
. A 1 Ibjjl S25 RMngton street,
& Vtjmyr fTtt" "criptlon Thb Evelina
ny Wobld physician prof
" fered her.
She was assured that no such small matter
as tho cost of n prescription should stand in
tho way ot tho recovery of her ailing child.
The Evenino Wobld physician is well sup
plied in this particular. The Commissioners
of Puhlio Charities nnd Correction havo or
dered that his prescriptions bo put ud free of
charge at tho Gouvornour Hospital. This
generous co-oporation on tho part of tho
Commissioners cannot foil to bo appreciated,
not only by the paronts of tho littlo patients,
but by tho public at large, which has mani.
fested so warm an interest in this work.
The Evenino Wobld's prescriptions aro also
honored at tho Eastern Dispensary, through
tho generous courtesy of its President, when
that institution is most convenient to tho pa
tients, Mrs. Gci8t, hor "good-man" nnd four
children occupied two mcugorly furnished
rooms on the ground floor- Tho front room
contains a bedbtead, two chairs, a table, an
old chest of drawers and a stovo. Tho dork
back room has only a bed made on tho
floor.
Tho childron woro lacking proper food and
clothing, both of which articles the physician
fortunately was ablo to provide, owing to the
sympathetic interest of The Eveninowobld
readers. Another large box of that most
excellent substituto for milk, "Mellin's
Food," was received on Saturday from tho
manufacturers, and not a dny passes that
does not bring bundles of flannols and
clothing from tho "Anonymous" good
Samaritans to The Evenino Wobld ofilco.
In ono pared recently nt hand woro yardi
and yards of nico, warm flannols. Thort
wero flannels vory fino nnd soft, suitable foi
tho delicato flosb of tho new-born babes,
nnd flannels stouter and stronger, just tho
thing for compresses and bandage's.
Some of tho little garments received aro
fresh and now. The baby lonn for which
porhitps, thev woro originally intended, was
never encircled by their folds. Othorshava
ovidently Been somo service, though still of
much use and very wolcome to tho babies of
tho tenements.
Who can tell tho history of these little half. '
worn garmonts ? Perhaps it cost more than
ono mother n heartache to send to strangers
tho clothes her own lobt baby wore. " Baby
clothes." How they appeal to tho hearts of
all 1 What memories cluster around the
dainty nursery basket ovor the woe, white
garments of tho babies !
But tho mothers of the babies of the tene
ments are truly grateful for the comforts
that these gifts bring. Povertv does not be
numb a true mother's heart. It often brings
it anguish, and it often makes it more tender.
Tho poor mothers of tho tenements of
Cherry Hill are as solicitous for their off
spring as the mothers of marble mansions of
Fifth avenue. No fact observed by Tmc
Evenino Wonr.D physician in his numerous
calls, but a trifio of which have been noted
in these columns, is moro impressive than
the devotion, tho self-sacrifice, the anxiety
of poverty-stnoken parents for tho welfare
of thoir littlo childron.
Whatever their surroundings, howevor for
biding tho tenements, however dirty tho
alleys, however thick the honsos of ill refute
about thorn, ono thing shines forth like a
guiding star the mother's love for her chil
dren, and her anxiety tbat they, whatever
she may bo, shall grow up to bo worthy men ,
and women. j
Fraylnr, as only a mother can pray; 1
God guide them and keep them from coins 1
astray.
Politico and a Sbnrp Knife.
A healed political dlscnssslon took place between
Thomas Hopkins and James Smith, two young
men who live at 71 Vartck streeu Hopkins Dually
became so enraged that be drew a dagger and
plunged it Into Smith's back, inflicting a serious
injury. Smith was sent to Chambers Street Hos
pital. Hopkins waa this morning arraigned In Ue
Tombs Follce Court, and held In $1,000 ball for
trlaL
A Slab with a Penknife.
At Tombs Police Court this morning Bruno
Schultz, sged twenty-eight years, of 8 State street,
waa held In $1,000 ball for stabbing William Cro
nln In the left arm with a penknife.
Cronin, who is twenty-four years old, was walk
ing In i'earl street with hut sweetheart, when
Schultz made an Insulting remark. Cronin bathed
blm away. Then Schultz drew hla penknife and
stabbed cronin.
CUT THIS OUT.
Why Spoil Your Summer by Missing
"Tho Evening World?"
It Will Take But a Minute to Ell
Out the Blank Bolow.
For the convenience of the reader! ot
" Tbe Evening; World " who ore leaving
the city for a vacation or who live out
of town throughout the aummer the
following blank la prepared. If yoa
desire to havo "The Evening Worjd"
sent regularly to you In tho country or
by the seashore, write your address la
the space reserved for It, state the num
ber of months, one or more, for whloa
the paper 1 desired, and the amount
Inclosed.
The subscription for "The Evening
World" la thirty centa por month.whicls
Includes postage. Remittance may he
made by postal note, express or Dnited
States money ordir or in stamps, tta may
be most convenient.
To tht Ctuhitr Evening Wobld-
Jnclosed find cents in paymmi
for Thh Evkwmo Wobld for
moruVtf. Eav ft j4Pr omardd to VuM-
loving addrttii 4 . J
.IV
The above should be Inclosed la
envelope ddroued t THH J0Vana
WOBItDo
'"'I
j, Br j
-Alatof wa. r I $LttdA&tflL&iU.iU, ' - WtoaM
nk