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The evening world. (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, February 15, 1906, Final Results Edition, Image 15

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s < fZTi a KS t 4 1 1r c
r Th 1Eye af d Wbrd a Monte MflfazlnoTThursda7 EvenIn I F4ebrutry 15 1900
By Roy L McCardell
Palm Beach Fla The Other Day
t Y Dear John I take It most unkind that you Should
MY send me clippings from newspapers about an aUl
gator being seen on the beach here scaring every
t body and the pencil annotations Ah there Stay there
True I am hero Incognito but Is there any semblance of I
a saurian about me I have been called an octopus for
many years but I wont stand for this alligator allusion
kt No not even If you were to allude to mb as an amiable
ojd alligator I want to chldo you also for the stigma
you cast upon that plastic and absorbent article the
v LA4Lf sponge In a recent address to your Bible class You said
Dont bo like a sponge Why not Think of all tho
water a sponge will hold Where would we be If wa hadnt cast water
upon our oil
Any neWs of that AttorneyGeneral from MlssourlT T Say Is he from
Pt Louis Is that his town What Is he bothering me about I never
1 did anything to his town Does he think T am the man Mark Twain wrote
b iTh Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg My son It Is simply pes
tiferous the way your dear old dad Is annoyed That Ida Tart > ell started
It Lawson tool It up and now the penny press bothers the life out of me i
0 ri could have stood for that but when the subpoenaservers got OH my trail
r linade mysef hard to catch 1 saw by the papers that I was thought to
t on young Rogcrss yacht tho Diana I saw one newspaper article that
was headed John D In a Pirates Lair I read It to see how they had It
t out that I was still at No 20 Broadway and what do you think It
wasnt that at all It was figured that I was on the Diana anchored In
n cove of one of the Caribbean Islands that Morgan not dear old kind old
irwnet old J Plerp but the elder buccaneer of the name used as headquar
ters What rot
Bnt this Palih Beach Is all right all right These Florida hotels cannot
be styled pirates lairs but they are certainly strongholds of robber
b roM But dont you care They all belong to Flagler Hes one of our
set Hes a Standard Oiler He owns all the hotels down here all tho rail
roads and the Legislature The Florida Legislature Is a poor asset In
N w York It wouldnt even be listed on the curb Another thing there I
la no Florida Water In Florida other than the same barbershop variety we
n get at home I always used to think It was a product of the Florida
everglades and that I could see It bottled at the springs
If you order Florida Water In Florida after a haircut they only rub It
In on you They dont rub it In on me I found out long ago that a hair
cut wasnt a permanent operation It was a constant expense eo I stopped
cutting It off and cut it out Maybe that Is the reason that in spite of the
envious and of enemies not a hair of my head has been touched You are
etlll tho only heir I have
Gather the Bible class around you and tell them that the falsehoods of
the common people are lies but fibs about father are only evasions Give
r them good advice and icewater Dont forget that everybody works for
other even the subpoeflaservers Your Artful Dodger Dad
I JI By Alice Rohc j J
e U DT and
Aunt Cyrema are
t here on a visit
SlId the Girl from
Karoos Its their
golden wedding an
niversary celebra
tion and its the
first time either
one of them has
r + f + t ever been further
< east than Topeka
J ky r In their lives Clar
once Lightweight
f wns calling on
Daisy the afternoon Jasper Purdy
I Farq and wife struck town Clarence
A Horrible Example
I V01 Mt Ae
c r
Rev T Rooster What made you be
f come a vagrant my man
f Dusty Bantira To give pious folks
fomethlng to
crow over
Is a Wall street broker end you cant
keep him from talking about his seat
on the Stock Exchange Clarence la a
grand talker but James Van Orden
Smith says the only seat he ever had
hi the vicinity of the Exchange must
have ben on the curb Anyiwoy Uncle
Jasper was all agog when Clarence
began to talk
When Undo JUne home last night
lie was mjlng things no perfect gentle
man would even think of
Lois your Sir Lightweight knows
about stock he snorted Why there
wnsnt anything In sight but a lot of
screaming lunatlca tearing around like
Comanche Indiana I looked around
everywhere to see them watering the I
stock but there wasnt so muoh as an
Alderney calf drinking out of o wodJen
tub There wasnt a trough In eight
except some marble fountain looking
things and the only ones drinking out
of them was the Comnnche Indians
when they got through doing a war
Uncles 33 disgusted He Bays New
York Is tho blinrest fraud came he ever
ran up against If there was anything
he would love to have seen It was a
good high elasq stock exhibit with Im
proved methods of watering stork
everything UP to date Who ever heard
of keeplne stock In a white marble
building with scandalously attired crea
tures standing on the too
You say vouve heard all this In vau
deville I dont see how thats possible
Uncle Jasper only struck town list
DtUt and His Books HilJr He Spends an Exciting Day
Bobby qlT I With Old UNCLE REMUS
SNAKFrr can suNPot rMg
QRrNF You wKC sF TALE terror
t VNgLE Ra t vtrC1
III e t aLizS
1 l
Iii rc
I I I 1
I t r c
i 4 I
I 1t J3 I
rt sc ro rb Erorrrsx
er8 t wqs 7PABBrr 1
SrRwvG sY A rvcK
rNAr BCean S °
Sr1AT Ki °
t ° uWr A4 ° P y r1AT
m I
psa Oil Ate VP 10
ARf rN61PE
l qNY AN66t
3 77
Valentine Echoes a t8 By W Fe Marriaer
I 3Pf EL
wen i d0
f tin f
c o L
r w rJ rrrnc
Gee you orter aeen de vaUne I Ms it aped work irrltln valentines EddleT Tones l1bs Carrier Nothin fer Mta Mary
sent Mag It cost I tr ell I suttee yen Why Ive been over three hours trytn to alt iwold wet itT taOyi oh ther MUST tool Ii
Io seen it Willie She sent It to Jctannlo Jinks pricln valentines only
rhyme wit Gladys yestlddyl
mo dip mom 1 n
ff 1r wod7WQJti hm f 1 Q JGREj
By Nixola GreeleySmith
r HL only true test of a sense of humor Is the ability I
< < ffli < T to see the point of a joke at ones own expense Not
i many women have it but the other day a young news
Ii paper woman told me a story that lefties doubt at all In
my mind that she was among the number
You know she said two years ago I was sent to inter
dew old Mrs Blank mother of a lightweight champion of
lie ring on her sons defeat She lives In a little wooden
louse with n largo yard lined with hen houses and She was
gathering oggs and placing them in two vegetable dtehes
a hon I opened the iUte and walked In The old ladys fame
is a termagant was known far and wide In her nalghbar I
+ rood but unfortunately I didnt know dt It was a couple I
y j C days after the fight and tho wales the whole family had
eon having over tho exchampions defeat had left her with I
what I believe is called technically a holdover jog of large
N 7 have noson she Bald When I mentioned my errand
s nj pon at Ul Ive nothing In the world but the chickens and me eggs Lave
taei alone and as her alshes were both full walked Into the house While I
stood wandering whether to go away or follow her to the house the most
bruised and battered Individual I bad ever behelda man wfcaae taco bore a
rainbow ot bruises crosod by a lattice work of courtplaster strips came In the
gate and announced himself as the termagants second husband I
I may not boas genteel all you young lady but Im more genteel than her
Cooush you may not km w It by the looks of me But last night as I was lay
lg dead drunk on the sofa she and her son laid hold of me and done mo up
I But Just as he was growling eloquent over Ws wounds reenter from the
MUSS his terrible bride with two empty dlalies In her hand >
Perceiving her husband talking to me oho made one wild rush threw one
dJsTvot himand the other after my rapidly retreating figure But that wasnt all
Tile other day another newspaper woman caught the old lady In a sober moment
and she snldi I didnt lllto that last woman they sent over here She was one
of thlm kind that wises thrir eyes to men She tried to fllrrrt with as INs
band Think of U Poor Utile me
Here Is tho ludicrous aspect of a very unpleasant phase of feminine nature
I know of no sensation mora uncomfortable than that of meeting the husband
with tha jealous wife who keeps tier eyes glued on him Incessantly while ho
i talking to you vho so Impresses her tear of suspicion on you that you alt
up In jour chair rigidly like a Jointed doll and answer his remarks In monosyl
lablca knowing oil tho wlillo that the wifely gaze Is on you and that like the
I jpritenirhter s mother she will surmUa that you int planning elopement U
jjiiii flbditt tbt comwrsatlca from too wcaUaas 1
HfRF 1
y0 Aa ° rr
KA ow lyN BoMer f
rROWhv rD cer in
toys NOME
MatE vtA r 0
t r
afAI tG
Orange Sherbet I
IX oranges two lemons three pints
SIX half pint cream Sweeten to
taste Freeze same as Ice cream
Lemon Pie
NE cup sugar one lemon one egg
O onequarter cup milk onehalf
cracker rolled fine small piece
butter one largo spoon flour Grate In
the rind bake with two crusts Use
tin measuring cup
Shortcake Dip
rNE quart flour 3 teaspoons ing
ONE little salt butter size of on
VJ egs Wet with milk or water to
soft dOugh roll out cut in B < ryre and
bake FOr the dip One qua milk 2
tablespoons flour good sized piece of
butter boll 2 or 3 minutes spat the
cokes and put into dip when soaked
through put in a dish and pour dip over
Crab a la Creole
OIL the crabs In sal > a until
BOil Remove from tho arc pie
out tho meat carefully and Se
aside Brown over fire one small onlca
In one tablespoonlul ot butter jjtlr I
on tablespoonful of flour and whe
thoroughly browned ftdd one cupful o
hot water and one can of tomatoes Sea
son with salt pepper cayenne popper
one saltspoonful sugar and one table
spoonful tomato catsup Boll this mix
turo until It Is thick then add crab
meat and lot cook a few minutes Serv
hot on a platter lined wl toast al
lowing one silos of toast for each per
for r rox If TAR BAQYI
err AM q r
i JDe r p V 9 A M
w i
T8 7 i
p l r
CAN Baer
TAKE A rAR K ia C cavsp
QdLOY mo yrv xX y
Xvr SrvJ i
H t t
t pAGer e
d f orRrrr
l S
I All perplex young people can ob
tain expert advice on their tanclsd
love affairs by writing Betty Let
ters for her should be addressed 0111
BETTY Evening World PostOffice
O box 1334 New York
He Only Wrote Once a Week
Dear Betty
HAVE been receiving the attention of
I a gentleman who called on me once
nearly every week for two months
and took me to a great many
places of amusement I am a book
ireeoer and am Roofl wages and dress
it ii4
well I hod ono week vooanlon and
went euwaiv and I only renewed one let
ter aylns1 he hoped I was having a
good time When I came home I neither
heard front him nor saw him I gave
him my picture and be gave ma his
What I want to Know Is should Ie sand
for It and should I recognize him in
case wo meet Where I am employed
there la another gentleman who H very
devoted but I dont care for him as
mUdh as the other A L
nt send for your picture and be
i aa nl to the man when you meet
him as yu ever were One letter In
a weak la doing very well Take all
the proper attention you can got from
na many nice men as offer It to you
You can bo euro thev do tho same
But dont give up the first man so long
as you love him and dont encourage
the others too much
A Foolish Adventure
Dear Deity
WILL soon be eighteen years old and
I have not locot componv with any
I one us vet I have just cot acquaint
ed with a very nice fellow I see
1 him almost every day ana we 1I4WO
spoken quite a few Hmeo Do you think
he could learn to love me aa I am de
formed a little He has written me a
very nice letter and has also sent me
wo comical postal cards which I dM
not cane for He asked me for my
i e and I cave it to him I have
r A r
asked him many limes for his but he
seonis as It he asei not want to give
It to me From what I near I think ho
his u girl or his own Do yoj thli I
cniM WIn hs lore t M
I I gather from your letter that you
have let a young man pick you up
I since you dont know his name This
was very foolish to soy the least and
you ought to drop his acquaintance If
he cares for you ha will seek a way of
making your acquaintance legitimately
tAn UpState Lover
near natty
AM a young girl of seventeen and
I live here In the city I have been
I corresponding with a young man
nth > lives up the State Wlluaro he
lives Is a yuuiur girl whom he takes
out Ho has told me ho likes me better
but only takes her out bc < aus I am
not there Now I would like to know
If I am doing right by writing to him
I like the young man very muchA
Write to him It you like but dont
fall In love with him If you can help
It The odds are always In favor of
the girt oa the ground
r s
s t
By Margaret Hubbard Ayer
Mustache Grower
A WThls Is
G conducive t
the growth o
a imataeJie Try It
Red vaseline
ounce at tincture
cantharides oau i
half ounce oil o
lavender oil of rose i
mary 15 drops each
Apply to Lt ion
or the mustache at a
night Let It remain
until the following w
ng when It
be washed
auij with a neutral soap and warm
water It may be used as long as re
For the Hair
E l1Yes the chamomile appll
8E caiUan Is the final one alter the
I hair has been washed and dries
1he hair Is simply washed in the hens
and left to dry
Peroxide Bleach
IfIf the superfluous halt is not
8M particularly noticeable I would
not bother about It The peroxide
l > Moli will Uo no harm If you wish
f > uso It so often as has been described
It lightens the hair and Ilnally rtestrojs
Its constitution
Sunday World Wants
Work Monday Wonders
t lii <
i <
y r art 4 r a 4
Y ji 1 r 4t r Ii S Mi
I George Washington Jr
a Red WhiteandBlue
T pays to bo patriotic That nervy
IT young Jackofnllthentrlmltrades
Mr George M Cohan found this out
with Ltttlo Johnny Jones and now
with a keen eye to business me has gOne I
In for being the son of his country
Patriotism In business Itot exactly a
now idea Manufacturers of tooth paste
bolting powder playing cards end other
household nooesaltl followed the flag
until a graved government stopped
them But the manufacturer at plays Is
not confronted by any uoh otostaclo
NuthliiR can stop him
Young Mr OoTmn loves his flag and
his country In every line and aa a te
uulu George Washington Jr Is a red
hlteandbluo success He has been
arise enough to lICe that practical pa
triotism Is aa good as United States
U mis
Iho place at tho Herald Square The
afro Isnt exactly an historical play It
Is a modern Improvement upon that
stickler for truth whose birthday we
will celebrate by knocking off work on
tM 2M In It Jlr Cohan Jives three
cfheors for himself and a kind word for
the other George
George WbsMngton Jr H wont make
history but It will make money which
Is a muoh handler thing to have about
jtho house The plot Is aa simple as
A B C though not quite so chaste
When he arrives at the ago of twenty
one George Belgnwo tells his farther to
Twentythree and this It ia needless
to add wouldnt look well In a First or
S ond Reader
When Georges rich but dishonest
parent Informs him that he has chosen
a wlfo for him a lady of th UnriIA
nobility no less the undutiful son kicks
over the traces and gives rather to un
derstand that he has reached the Ago
where he no longer rolls hoop Jumps
rope or speaks pieces In the parlor
Ha will 01000 his own wife and he al
ready has hIs aye on a Southern girl
who he thinks will answer the pur
pose very well Father spooks right up
and says he will no longer be a father
to George In that case
This Is where the red light Illuminates
the plot
The only father I know declaims
the defiant George Is the father of my
country Ill take his namel
Ttds christening is sanctioned by loud
George however doesnt desert his
lather who is a Senator and therefore
n eds protection The English lady and
her brother have interrogation points
otter their names on the programme
and although George has no programme
to guide him ha guesses that caw are
part ot a plot to land father In the
penitentiary This plot ba ben ar
ranged by a sanctimonious Senator wbo
la dirennlned to put Goonzoo father
where he belong Tae plan Is to trap
tlik ambitious DelIAve by getting him
to turn over certain incriminating bonds
with Which bo Is to buy the English
lady for hImself now that George wont
have her But thanks to Georeefia won
derful Intuition nobody works father
The interrogation point turns and ro
veaJs the putative English pair to be
detectives in the employ of the sancti
monious GenatUr who oalde from his
craving for reform and retribution has
a naturally sweet disposition He seems
mitt out of placa In Washington
Aside from looking after his father
and It Is his father who plays Bel t
grave young Mr Cohan finds time ta i
sing through his nose and dance fts <
only he can dance His principal
achievement In this line Is a slaney
tribute to The Grand Old nag dire
tax which he waves o torn and tot
tered banner brought on by O A n
gentlemen of tho chorus Its a sons
after his own style and rouses more
onthualhsm than a Fourth of Jul
speech at Tammany Hall Later on Mr
Cohan braves a stage snowstorm to
sing of what might happen If Wash
t k
oic soSM
e 37s
Mr George M Cohan aa George
Washington Jr
Ington CAme to Life which hits manr s
a nail on the head Singing In a snow
storm Is the funniest Idea In the play d
but It does seem like usurping the
rights of the Door homeless heroin
who has so loved to suffer there
Miss Ethel Levey takes advantage
better weather to sing and dance with
Mr Cohan At other times she Is busy
trying to keep a Southern accent on
the right side of Mason and Dixon
line Eugene ORourke has the sam
dlmculty as the sanctimonious Senator
from Virginia
Harry Montgomery as an old darky
In the acorn business IIIt Mount Ver
non Is very amusing and Miss Truly t
Shattuck Is as gorgeous as a peacock
In the role of the aristocratic
lady de
tective Jerry J Cohan seems as In <
nocent ea RodcefeUfcr despite1 the0
tainted money of Senator Belgrave and
Mrs Helen F Cohen as the Senators
widowed but hopeful sister completes
the pleasant family circle
A chorus that knows what Its about
and can look a camera In < the faco
without blushing for itself figures In
several clover songs and dances
It Is safe to say the decidedly enter
taining George Washington Jr will a
live to celebrate several birthdays of
Strangest Freak of Science w
T la generally supposed that Pro Garner Is the first man to study what hat
IT coma to be called the speech of monkeys As a matter of fact the honor
belongs to Sir Richard Burton the famous orientalist who translated the
Thousand and Ono Nlgdits Lady Burton tells In her biography at her dis
tinguished husband that Sir Richard believed firmly In monkey speech that ho
had forty apes continually with him for several years and that he had Wrlttaq
down a monkey vocabulary of sixty words This vocabulary unfortunately was
lost Pro Garner can make a strange monkey drink by saying a certain w i3
and with another word he can make It eat and wtth another word he can
frighten It But Str Richard Burton could do all these things too His vocabtt
lary furthermore was larger than Prof Garners Ernst Haedkel the grea
German scientist la In hearty sympathy with the study of the monkey late M1
guage Ha says he believes firmly that such language exists j
May Mantons Daily Fashions
W hoeltanoy +
W women may I i
Jeel atbourt IDmtlre
styles for gowns ota
a more formal sort
th meet with
they i
acceptance t
tor fhos > si home t J
wear Illustrated is I
one of the nfonpteat i
and best models
that yet have ap r i 3
peered wfclch can
bp mode lamllalle
for various times w a
and vark > u uses
Wheu it la made 1
from plm a hush
mere or cWilHe it
becomes adapted to I
morning wear while t
it some pretty e w
I k be 1
flowered silk
used it Is quite t zr
sufficiently dressy Ci
for the afternoon V
tea hour Again + t 4
there can be a high S t 1
or slightly open 4 z
neck and elbow or t j i
long sleeves so
that almost every I
p a s s ibis require e t t a wt
ment Is provided at
f +
Por In the Illus 4s 1
tration a prettily a I i
ftgnireo chullle Is t
trimmed with band ti
Inc and Is held at ly l L Ri
the edge of the s r
short waist with
folds of ribbon t
flnlshci with a
rosette and long Empire House GownPattern No 5278 Y
ends The quantity of material required for the medium size Is 912 yards 21 old
yards 36 or 612 yards fl Inches wide
Pattern SS78 Is cut In sizes for n i1 31 36 31 and 40Inch bust measure sHow
all or sand by mall to THE EVENING WOULD MA MAl
now t o
TON FASHION BUREAU No 21 West Twentythird street New
l4 Obtain i irk Send tea cents In com or stamp for eaCh pattern ordered 1
Tltei S ORTANTWrlt your name and 1treM plainly and at
Pnnernn Sways T specify size anted t 1
> < j i s4 f > W
i IMiJ w h w
1t j J lilo iM

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