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The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, April 16, 1908, Final Results Edition, Image 18

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The Evening = World Daily Magazine Thursday April 16 19O8 0 I
i fJt ootort +
Pifollshlng Oempany Ness sa tie N
IMbtlshed Dally Kxcfpt Sunday by the Press
if Park Row New York
rtruMwwllta ea
xnrn rcmiin rn s tt n nnt 1 IYaLalRlw
d Entered at the PostOffice It New York a Second Class Mall Matter
< ubscrlptlon Rates to The Evening For England and the Continent and
Countries In the International
x World for the United States All s
and Canada I Postal Union iI
One Year P50 One Year M1
tif One Month JD One Month n Sb
w I VOLUME 4S NO 17040
WHIPSAW differs from an ordi
nary saw in flint it cuts both
V rb ways A Chinese saw cuts when
it is pulled toward you An or
dinary carpenters saw cuts when
it is pushed away The Assem
1 bly and Senate Committees on
Railroads have now completed
their whipsawing of the Cone
QD6 E6 Island FiveCent Fare bill
By a vote of five to two the
Senate Committee on Railroads
refuses to pass this bill which
the Assembly Committee on Railroads unanimously reported
Maybe If the Assembly Committee had not already known what
the Senate Committee would do the bill would not have passed the
Assembly Maybe if the B R T had not known what the Senate
Commitee would do it would have made more of a fight in the
In either event a whipsaw may saw wood but it pulls the wool
over nobodys eyes
The Coney Island FiveCent Fare bill which has for years been
advocated by The Evening World has been annually introduced in the
Assembly by Mr Wagner who is honest sincere and able in his efforts
to pass it
Last year this bill was killed In the Senate by the votes of New
York Senators repenting tenementhouse districts They heard from
their constituents last fall and this year they both voted and talked
In favor of it To deprive Mr Wagner of the personal credit for the
bills passage by the Assembly the Republican majority draughted their
own FiveCent Fare bill and put it through thereby enabling the Re
publican Assemblymen from Greater New York to tell their constituents
next fall that they had done everything they could to secure the Coney
Island fivecent fare
oO ooo
Op e
1 I f1l 0
o aD
The Senate Committee on Railroads has only two New York City
members Both of these voted for the bill and none of the others did
That enables all the Senators and Assemblymen from New York I
City both Democratic and Republican to go before their constituents
t next fall and pose as the real true friends of the people
This will deceive nobody
Any bill which affects only New York and which all the New York
Senators and Assemblymen are honestly in favor of stands a pretty
tj i good chance of passing both houses of the Legislature
The representation from Greater New York is twofifths of the
whole Legislature Its members can easily pass any local bill they want
by refusing to vote for the local bills other members want unless they
get theirs
This Is not the end of the Coney Island FiveCent Fare bill The
Evening World will keep on advocating it Mr Wagner or some other
member in case he decides not to return next year will introduce it
R Some day there will be a Legislature which really represents the popular
will and that day will come all the sooner from the exposure of the I
tricks by which meritorious legislation like this is prevented
t t Letters from the People
f r rheas for Cat
f Fnlay as a legal holiday in the State
F To the BJJtor nf The nnlntr World of Raw Jersey Is that information
r Why not license cats as dugs are li correct C H ROBERTS
censed and kill those with no license Elizabeth
j This would put a partial stop to the
nightly yowling that murder sleep Dli A any cperitllng Money
cuss this New Yorkers Is there any To the Editor nt Tile Evening WorM
1 Ie sane reason against It What ought I to get tor spending
r H A LAHXAS mone
money readers I am working In New
f No York and make U a week My parents
To tho BJitor of The Evcnltur World are not poor but not rich I se
Is there or was there over an Edison tvyentyflve cents a day for expenses
l tar RICHARD BINNT3 Fifteen cents of this goes for dinner
> Unsociable XPTT York and ten for carfare Tho totnj sum Is
To tin Dlltw of The Evening World
The recent editorial on the unso Tlnii > IIiuli for Join
clabloncss of New York struck the right To the Riitor of The Eienlns World
note I went to school with follow
t n I und eelY nw and then of city
find we became close friends For more employees who hold Jobs for Whlf
than tweJvo years we have never met century or o Headers dont
< you think
r and yet all that time both have been It too tcnlt for any one to hold n lob
living In this dear old town and perI elf the city I flunk any one who ha
haps but a few blocks distant from one i held a Job twenty years ought to give
Jt another I believe It IH a tar easier it up tad clve some one else a chance
1k tank to keep track of one on the Sahara What say you readers
than In this metropolis What do others BALLOT BOX
A llcmril Iriililrin
Nice Mlllimpul
a To the Editor of TV UMiiliuc W ld
j To Kie IJlltor nf The U < nlnR World Whit reader can solve this problem
< r I should Ike very much If readers
I havent been able to find any one
7 would dlscU13 the solution of the fok
dlbcuj who could gle lI1e an answer A mn
lowing problem A ulomer Tdors 12
digs an cxcavatiou u feet by B ttt
f dozen lace same was chtrJ and ship
< He has Il board IG feet by 9 feet
ped to him as 12 dozen but on receipt
Hol can he cut the board In two plees
oj the Rood he ands that In reaJlty
reporting 80 as to exactly cover the xau
Ii there Is only G dozen After reporting
ton j
on I TOIllAb
the sliorlusB the salesman tend roj
0 o
Mm without charge another 12 dozo
and asks that IIP return the first ship Shes Too Smart
ment for Inspp t on In the momtlrna I
t the storekeeper illpo > OB of 2 dozen YIH9o you want a dlvono
L from your wife because she
hence returns only 1 dozen after the
talesman was ronvlrired of the truth n throws things at you eh
1 the statement he sent bark throe dorm fllent XothnR of the kind She s too
i mar t o Lrnw th nus at me
Ika much should the
muC storo raptr b
t Luwver Hut I tliiiutfM I
charif < sl with J CLAJIK cpent
Olient Interrupting ln She Invarijlilv
Yes throws thing at the doc but she nl
To tit Cit r of Tie Uvrnlrc WorM ways manages to hit iim Chicago I I
pour Almanac for IMS gives Good Dully New
He Laughs Rest That Laughs Last
By Maurice Ketten
4 o SETTING f 1oR
LL =
l l
The Showing Off by Parents of Their Cute Little Darlings Is
I a Dangerous Undertaking as Mr and Mrs Jarr Have Learned
By Roy L McCardell
Jt Jf K and afro Got of Brooklyn will be her this
iVl evening you know said Mr Jarr I
on I know It very well wild Mrs Jarr I
dont sea why those people mslirt on calling it Just upsets
1 everything Its easy n 1Ug11 for them thouGh they have
no children
k But my dear you Insisted that they should come to I
see IM when we mot them at the theatre the other night
r said Mr Jarr You yourself named this evening and I
b I4iq i wouldnt tk no for an answer i
< Well It wasnt because I wanted them said Mrs
y > Jarr You are always talking about what n good friend
c Mr Got Is to you and that he would lend you money and
that why I was so nice to them To my mind the man
ova MsCocay looks like a foolf
grin I said hed lend me money replied Mr Jarr with a I
Why dont you borrow some thenr asked Mr Jarr Goodness knows Ive
plenty of us for nil I can get Oh well let them como she added as If Mr
Jarr was coaxing her to permit it let tihem come Ill have to Ret out the new
dishes and that girl we have now is Just aching to break them
Mr Jarr made no reply knowing the coming of company always throws Rood
well Into a peevish and exasperated state However when the Cotes arrived
Mrs Jarr was all smiles and was so glad to see them
I thought you intended Khmc the children an early dinner sa they could KO
to bed und not be a bother queried Mr Jarr when he saw the chlldrene choirs
iro up to the table j
You mind your business and let me attend to mv own affals1 sail Mrs
Jarr In a tense whisper Mr and Mrs note came especially to see the children
They have none of their own you know
At the dinner table both Mr and Mrs Gate paid particular attention to little
VIIlle and Emma Jarr ns all people do who are childless not caring how they
I stir up the Demon ShowlnirOfr
Being told how pretty they were and how bnrit they ware stirred up both
I youngsters to outdo all former efforts aa Infant pests Little Willlo said a whole
lot of bright things and also said and did a whole lot that were not at all bright
Including his latest accomplishment of spitting through hia teeth
Little fimmn put her hands in the butttr and rubbed It in her hair and cried
dolorously for more dessert hen there was no more and Joined with Willie In
a vigorous and screaming protaat for ooffae something neither was ever eniiltted
to hale
The Intercession of Mr and Mr Got eared them from condign punishment
I and then all withdrew to the parlor where Willie nonstrated to his own
satisfaction the teats he had observed at the clrous such as ground and lofty
tumbling which Included a bumped and bleeding nose results of which wen
I apparent on Mr Gotes white waistcoat
Little Emma the while climbed over Mrs Gote and transferred all portable
articles of Jewelry that lady po sessed to herMIt
These Juvenile efforts at entertaining being Interspersed with threat by their
parents and revnonitranoes acalmt such a thing an behalf of the little dear by
the guests
After Willie had dropped a large sired castIron locomotive on Mr Got s pat
I corn that gentleman heartily seconded the suggestion that the children sing one
of their school songs This both children flatly refused to do and when In con
sequence Mr Jarr threatened severest corporal punishment in tragic whispers
as soon as Mr and Mrs Gote go Mr and Mrs Gate commenced to stir un
easily as It to Indicate far lie It from them to delay matters
i Finally Mrs Jarr yanked the children from the room and ordered them to
bed In two minutes they reappeared little Emma wearing Mrs Ootes bonnet
and hospitably remarking Go on home I dont like oo and little Willie wear
Ing Mr Gotes Ilk hat In which before he could be stopped he proceeded to
stand on his head
At this point Mrs Oote pleaded a severe and probably truthful headache and
aid she MfST go
When they had departed Mr Jarr said coldly Now get me the ntrapl
But Mrs Jair declared she wasnt going to have the children punished for
the sake of two old prigs from Brooklyn
On the way home the Ootei resolved that It Providence m Its wisdom had
decreed they should be childless perhaps Providence knew brat
In the Realm of Repartee t e By J K Bryans
y oo
fit Nr
MISSIONARY here young man why dont Here nurse whoa that young chap thats Now boy this is Important Its an Invitation
I see you In Sunday school any more always followIIIK you around Is ho a beau of to dInner I
KIDAw so on Dey aint oven got do life of Oh no Fir Oafs Jlmmle Hawkshaw de de MESSENGER Thanks lady But I dont think
Jesse James In de library tectlve I hires him to protect me from kidnap I kin accept Me dreta suits In hock
pare an things
< f
S r +
I 54XSsJ < AXiiAf < A X r
1I Nkola GreeleySmith 1
I Vivisecting Cupid
ISS ADA II PRATT meatier of a colony of women
j MISS WaililnKtuii who tvllcvo hat all association
191 with mankind U sinful niul who lived till ahi was
tncnonino without liming met one of the forbidden son
has Just married the first man who urns ever Introduced
to her
It was Inevitable tint she should Deprled of thou
standards of comparison that make the choice of n boa
7 band a matter of some complexity to the normal woman I
Its a wonder she didnt try to elope with n tailors dummy
or nn Indian cigar sign
If a group oC matchmaking mothers had held a speck
convention to devise eMIr marriages for their Infant
diiiRhters they could not have found a surer plan than
00 aeeea
AM7N that of those women who Bought to bring up a colony at
man haters
Yet in H sense this girl who had thp matrimonial problem reduced to its
simplest terms is to t f envied The task of select n husband presents ouch
conflicting demoits fiat unless one has the prompting of a grand passion to
guide one It l < n puzzling and enrcine affair
The Turkish girl who noocpts the drat pasha who asks her parents for he f
hand at least doptnl have the trouble of thinking that if John only had
Charless money and Richards disposition he would make an Ideal husband but
that his awful temper and Utlputlan salary put even his Greek nose a trIne out J
ot Joint f
i Eliminating Charles Richard Ac John would appear quite perfect the >
I fore supremely desirable as a husand And that la precisely what the mother
In the queer colony at Washington have done for their daughters Perhaps la
the general chorne of things It matter very little whether a girl marries the
first man that proposes to her or the last The late Ward McAllister In hW
queer forgotten book on lootpty advised the debutante to accept one of the
proposals she received In her first season as these would lx undoubtedly the
et the would ever pet
So that the your lady from the very unworldly WnhlTinton colony ha
taken unrmslouslv some very worldly advice I
She may prove jut as happy a wife as though she had picked over ft
107en hearts In the process nf selection Analysis the bane of modem love
ft I s simply vivisection of poor little Cupid to find out whether his heart beat
I properly or his arteries are In good condition Women who linger too long ovT
in nw on nent of suitors are too much given to It The woman Who marries tho tj
first men that aka her has no time for vivisection least not till anv
W < OI rlwi5 5 1j < 5 > 30 t
Gertrude Barnum
u On the American Girl
Is She Only a Dream 2
r had ben shopping and several of the girls wets
W much cast down because of the fatness of thttf
= desires and the sllmn of their purses Such In
2t toxicating temptations Ir the hot and gown opening
Sucin sober necessity holding them to the lln ywooli f
4 bargain counter closings
J Most any one could look like a duchess in that rraln
Cam and ostrl plume hat sgh d the aristocrat If our parts
u 4 get blame tired being a poor but honest working
t girl grumbled a brunette beauty
is f l Just think nt some people blowln money on butt
fir rF fly ibalU and us not able to earn enough to teed the
wolf at the door exclaimed a plain girl bitterly
tf Whats the answer said my friend Edna with a
L w laUgh ° I cant see thnt makln faces Is specially beooxniS
H or scares the wolf from the door muoh
You make lilt tired retorted the plain girl I spose you Ilk bean dow
cm jour upper All the time and letting other people hOC all the cream ant
begrudge you even the iklm milk
Edna laughed again placvulngly Riddle aM die Whloh youd ratnw
bethe downtrodden or those thats troddln you down Hon Vd death
drink the skim milk than hog all the cream Id drather fight wolves that
dance on butterflies an Id drather look like the right kind of Amtrica
girl than any duchess living
After we had separated from the others and packed our baa y bundles about
us In a double stat of the street car Edna resumed
Sometimes I think the real American girl we read about Is only a drtu
The ones 1 know would mostly all be twym ermIne hats with money the
never earned If they got the chance or given butterfly baIts while the unem
ployed went hungry or marryln dukes and leavln the land of the free ana
tries to re free or wants to be brave
home of the brave Very few I sea
Theyd drather read about the Vanderhllt weddln1 than the Ten Hour law
beln constitutional Theyd drather be put down with Idiot and criminals than
pet laughed at for wantln1 to vote They alnt er free and brave enough
to join a trade union now that the perfect ladies and preachers say its no sin
Whats the answer I quoted after we had sat in dejected silence a little i
Well she replied medltatiTely ms the menll get afraid of harltf
so many snob girl around waltin1 to take their Jobs and begin to organli
em Praps Mrs Potter Palmer or some other swell will make it the fuhlom
to be a suffragette Likely the old girls that dont look good In ostrldh plumes
any more and han give up expectln to marry the Superintendent will lin u >
and Mil for their share of the cream As It looks to me though well have to
walt a week to nee things movln but we can keep on dreamln Sometimes
Winkle till tw real Amarioaa
take Rip Van sleep a
I feel like Id like to a
have to torn trod
girts come out of the dream and got on the InfIp Theyll
some day you know
As we rode along I reviewed what t knew of the Independent brave Jurt
and patriotic life of the little friend beside me and when w e parted I coulfll y
not resist saying
Theres at least me true American girl and aftai no dream t < 1
Reflections of a Bachelor Girl
By Helen Rowland
that by putting on a Uk hat and a whit Ascot till
HOME men think
they are disguised as gentlemen
fJO foe Is like gambling you want to be aura that you ue a oo C
loser before you go in for the game
Of course Its awfully funny to see a dlcnlftad old gentleman
all fours at 2 A M with his hnt on one aids his shoe
n vir jin1rs on
climbing his hands and his collar on crookedlx his wife never awrolate the Jok I
In One thing I can never understand and that Is how a man can tell the front
he always can
from the back of his hat but
A mans Idea of honor Is so pouliar he would die rather than steal a friend
him at cards but he will steal hU wife or cheat him out of
money or cheat
lib daughter with perfect equanimity
All men are the same after ten year of matrimony they all amen of clove
and tobacco talk in monosyllables and tell the same stories when they com
home late
Beware of fortune tllor iespeclally If they are the amateur kind that
hold jour hand while they rend the signs In your face I
Flirtation Is like a cocktail with no headache In It champagne with no next I
morning 1
The Lovers Parting
By Stephen Crane
MAOAHINn editor took down a volume dated 1891
SUphon Crane the man of genius who dial in youth he said
A need to write humorous partagraphs for mo Hare Is a little thine ° t
his I think Its awfully good Ill real it to you
And he road this brilliant burlesqu of a lovers parting I
It was 6 oclock awl Course Trtfhnm had ben spending the afternoon wltK j
sweet lilllan Bcllnlrs I
iOodby George nhe murmured nestling her head in the tlmehonorxt r
GcIby tI
In every inrtlnit dearest there Is the image of death George Troiftiam 11
whl r > cr + l WdsInK tho ulrl passionately Do you know that we may never met
Ch George darling she cried clinging to him fiercely
Vho knows my own whnt may happen ore we sea each other once more T
Oh Gauge any that you will come buck to meback to your own little lov
ing Lillian My George the tame lioiutlful und brave George you have alway
boon I i
Trust me Illllnn darling trust your George
Oh George she Bald strong In the faith which women have I do treat
you How could I tov you If I did not 7 And sho kissed him fondly
Then I shall oome canto Illllnn my own
Hut when Georg when she nllfpcroil passionately
At 8 thta evening darling
Oh QeorK she walled moat It be so long as that So long ao loner
lie took her tenderly In his strong arms
Darling he whUperad 1 will mo It IJfi
And It cam to pas s aa N Md spriMl
> >

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