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The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, August 04, 1908, Final Results Edition, Image 10

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I I
T
O 111
r
t The Evening World Daily Magazine Tu < esday August 4 1908
p
Wbe
s Published Dally Except Sunday by the Press Pifollshlnr Company Nos H U 63
Park How New York
f WIN rotlTUII Tffl t 11114 UrMl 3 ANQU 8BA1T ee Tm 11 wilt Ilse ittMi
Entered nt the Post Oflce nt New York as Secand Class Mnll Matter
JMiicrlptlon Hates to The Evening For England and the Continent end
World for the Unltea States All Countries In the International
and Canada Postal Union
One Tear 350 One Tear 371
One Month 30 One Month 63
1
VOLUME 49 NO 17150
L
HYPOCRISY
HE kind of irrigating tunnels
D which are becoming popular
near Fifth avenue are not
r iii like those in the West
where water is poured on
the ground to make the trees
and crops grow The Fifth
avenue irrigation is to get
I around the Excise law and
I L 3 to provide a convenient sup
ply of alcoholized cherries
t t highballs and other taxable
v beverages
r The first of these irriga
I
t I k tion conduits to be com
pleted runs from the Repub
lican State Committee to
I the Republican Clubthat
t
a sw is from No 43 West Thirty
ninth street due north to
CI I Bryant Square
W However often he may
il II vote against whiskey and
beer in the Legislature the
rural Assemblyman or Sen
ator when he comes to New York does not put his restrictive principles
to personal practice
There are only two Democratic rural Assemblymen or Senators
and since Democratic headquarters have been in the Hoffman House for
a long time they do not have to go outside the door to quench their
thirst Neither did the Republican rural statesmen so long as the Fifth
Avenue Hotel was Republican headquarters
It would not do for the Republican party to go officially into the
liquor business so the headquarters to which the first removal was made
No 10 Fast Thirtieth street were almost deserted This new removal
J makes the Republican State Committees back door abut on the Repub
lican Clubs back door and the building of a connecting tunnel his in
creased the headquarters attendance and strengthened the rural Senators
and Assemblymens tendency to hypocrisy
The other irrigating tunnel is to run from the Hotel Gotham to the
nearest place with a liquor license The Hotel Gotham could not get a
license because it was within 200 feet of a church This is to be over
come by running a tunnel to one of the nearby license holders
The same excise law which will not allow the Hotel Gotham to sell
liquor not only permits but created thousands of Raines law hotels whose
vicious results are worse than alcohoL
MJ aaesilrin
I
e
i
e
e r
ilpil
IYI
I
I rwrc
ftll1ftd1L I
How the Republican legislative rulers do like to indulge in hy
pocrisy On the floors of the Senate and Assembly they vociferously
denounce the liquor traffic and refuse to let New York have even a law
ful Sunday glass of beer In the interior cities which they control like
Syracuse and Albany the violation of the Sunday law is one of the per
quisites of the Republican local machine and liquor gambling and vice I
are made productive of votes at the primaries and at the polls
Two Republican Governors in succession have vetoed the bills to
permit the Hotel Gotham to take out a liquor license They would like
ly have likewise vetoed a bill to allow the sale of beer on Sunday
Yet throughout the State the Sunday liquor law is violated openly
and fragrantly and the same constituencies which approve the persecu
tion of New York would be prompt to resent the enforcement of the
same laws among themselves
There is too much hypocrisy in politics A moving picture machine
set up in the irrigating tunnel to the Republican State Committee could
furnish films which would be excellent campaign documents I
i Letters from the People
Mild Ilnei and Sanity
To the EJIttir of The Evenlne World
I
The mad doe scare is again rending
us all jcreechlnj up a tree For mercys
sake good people of New York te
sane Not one supposedly mad dog I
In 10 Is reallv mad Not one man In
lOftfl who Is bitten hr a mid dog
get rabcs More people are killed by
failing street bci 1 < veer tan
hy rabii In ten ar i < lac stop
letting panlcstrlcken every time you
see u i < c r ir jS dun lie
fens n Je eita from the Rabies Svn
lean nor In a conspiracy to RVI > you
hydropho m Jive him water and food
That s tre bpI pri > vintlve of motes
HROOKLYX M D
A Ial 3lnni Crlnnncr
To the Editor vt Tie Evtnlnr World
Are 11 fat men or all men how
middle size to be made to suffer bv
ctu i so many mf are I ttle and
puny + I gn In rill 1 < ow Me 1t
Kwc ly ties about my No 17 nek
Whyt Iecause WI don t make then
tot tuca blc necks Theres no call for
IIYN ar wI Tram a p r coUar IWi
1
1 7ANe eeepr
II
R
i 512 Inch collar is the highest we have 1
In 17 We can rlv vou a 3 ncli collar
In 16 We have no call tor them In 17 i
I want a readymade suit Nothing I
lone enough In the arms for you Im
I afraid We make them In average I
lengths 1 sit In a subway stut Hey
i You big stuff whatcher crcwdtn me
I tor Seats made for average aized I
man Also the little
roan next to m >
knees he Is seta In grovlnr becaus
If I eluuid pick him up and spank
I him everybody w lad rar Lick a
man of sir
your 1 r many sjr
there U no one of my size In the car
pity the big mal
urnlr I
SKXIOR
Col llnali I Scntt I 9 A I
To It rjltorof Ttr Ennlnr Worth I
Who Is In command as superinten i
dent of West Point Military Academy i
I A j CONNOLLY i
I No
I To the Editor ot The rHnlrc Wor1 I
I Can a foreignborn naturallied Amen
lean citizen be tltottd President uf thi
UniUd auttat X OOLDDlJa
The Juggler
By Maurice Kctten
I
e
J
A
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I n
i
r i
1
4
i 1D
Nt
Wll llf vi
tbp8 6
r me HEgRyr r
i
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v ilk I I
3 I
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Wives Take Warning I Dont Drive Your Husbands to Metaphors I
Read the Desperate Case of Poor Mr Jenkins of East Malaria
I
By Roy L McCardell I
I 1R JARR bad hardly ar
M1 rived at the olflce when
l hi friend Mr Rangle
rime In hurriedly In i state of
extreme agitation
Serious business tbls old
man he blurted out Poor
w Jenkins Whod thought It of
r r i b him Well you never can tent
ae is >
Here Mr Bangle sniffed and by
a brave effort kept back the
soar a tears for his was a sympathetic I
nature
Whats the matter with you
whata the matter with Jen
YLrDIaCtaprJJ klnr asked Mr Jtrri i see
hes late this mornIng he added looking around
but then hes a commuter and his train Is always
delayed That all
Thats all eh snorted Mr Rangle Well you
read this And he flashed the following telegram on
Mr Jarr
Dear Rangle All II over the end has come
corpse when next you see have left wife will
destroy self gaping hole In side advise offlc
tell Jarr remains at St Croe us lintel
JENKINSP
Pooh said Mr Jarr Plans drunk and raving
Was It sent collect
No Mid Range Its paid and dont I1t there
like that as It unconcerned We little know the sor
rows that crush our brothers down Poor fellow
Will destroy self gaping hole In tide he said Even
I now he It lying weltering In hU gore Have lelt
wll he 187eome domestic trouble I auppose
Some domestic trouble you suppose repeated Mr
Jarr How the dickens could a man leave his wife
without having some domestic trouble you suppose
Darn itl they will keep at a man till they drive him
to madness and he does something rash and then
they are In < JOMoIAJbIetll they marry again and re
peat the performance on another poor devil
By this It may be gleaned that all wu not peace In
the Jarr household at the time being
While we are gassing here he may be croaking
said Ur Rangle dropping Into the vernacular In his
agtttlon 1 thought you were a friend of hIs being
an omce mate Left his wife Why I always
thought they got along fine together
Ehrybody thinks other married people get along
fins together said Jr Jarr Well this Isnt sav
ing hit life lIe must have been desperate If he went
to the St Croe ui to commit the rash act Its such
an expensive place
Die game and expensive Thats my motto too
aid Mr Rangle Well lets tell the boss
Go slow now go slow sad Mr Jarr Ill say
JanWns wont be here today that hes sick and
well call up the SI Croesuj on the telephone and
learn the sad facts
They called up the hotel and had no difficulty what
ever In getting connected with the desperate Jenkins
Yes Ive left my wife raid the voice of Jenkins
feebly 1 couldnt stand It any longer I was good
to her you know that I tried everything I could to
I lease her but what was the use But Ive written
her a letter and left her everything Shell have he
house and the money she hat In bank and her Jew
elry and the furniture I give her everything Its aU
I
In hr name anyway
Hut how about that gaping hole In your side
asked Mr Jarr
Its a metaphor replied Jenkins
What did he say asked the agitated Kangte
He says the wound In his side is a metaphor
said Jarr aside
Good gracious I As bad as that said Rangle
who will doubtless make a most successful business
man since he knows nothing Good gracious then
all is Dved
Oh I dont know said Jarr calmly Lets take
the subway uptown
i Reaching the prostrate Jenkinss bedside Mr Jarr
i pulled him out and said When did you mall that
letter to your wife
Just a while ago Mid Jenkins
Well you take care you beat the U S mall to
I East Malaria said Jarr Now gill
Two hours later a telegram came to Jail
Met the postman at the gate Wife not wise to
It and all Is lovely
But Mr Jarr and Mr Rangle dd not get the news
till next day They were visiting divers place until
a lute hour wondering how a sensible fellow like
Jenkins could do such a silly thing i
However when reproaches were heaped upon them i
at their respective homes they hlntd darkly of des
perate de ds by men who could stand no more nd
Rnnsle told his wife of one case he knew of where
the ilctm of conjugal abu e stahbed himself with a
metaphor And yon know he added olemnly
I thats a fare yrm well there aint no comebacks
with them metaphors
Isnt It Always the Way 09ca = = = = By H A kohl
WHEN YOU LEAVE THE OF ICE r i GET A WHOLE NEW OUTFIT
EARLY pR AND AFTER REHE INO THE LITTLE
SPEECH
A WEEK
° cvr
T T
wee 0 f
t q haeAJNe r > e v d 6tEELjJ
f r h l rr
f n
YOU FINALLY MUSTER UP COURAGE TO ASK TO FIND THAT SHE AN HER AUNTWH S
YOUR SWEET EARS HAND IN MARRIAGs VISITING HER 4
1 I1 s JUST FEE AeduT
1
i TC CONEY tied
I 1 a
s w 7
HMI
r
I
Tj SSS 1
I 2 0 VVvs 9 Q 0 e4 Q 0 t17 r
Or Why the Hearth Loses Its Lustre 1
By carton W CUr t 4 J
r
I No 11 The Careless
Wife
0 M E years
I
I
SOME the fore
Yt < r man of a
vl V California powder
f > factory thought
rkf JI he had devised an
Improvement on
j the explosives his
J employers were
making Being an I
Inventor It had
e + never dawned
upon him that his
et J Better Fraction
t was of the wife
t y p e careless
BNlTON n UlfKlt
Even when she
put the canary In the Icebox and hung
the envisages on the warblers bracket
he had been too preoccupied to gIve
thought of her singular temperament
So one morning when he set out for
the dynamite mill he kissed her at
the garden gate and said casually
Mabel do not touch anything In the
laboratory and bo careful that the dog j
does not get In there
Yes darling she replied hrlghtly I
T will keep Carlos away from your
playthings
The town was pretty badly shaken I
by the explosion and the bereaved hus
band was sorely puzzled to know just
where to hold the funeral services i
Then woe a lamentable delay until a I
wedding rIm was found In a neighbors
back yarL
This California Mabel was of n rather
1
common type of the Careless Wfe
thou l It VP aad
must or for ier that a
life partnership with a dynamite Inventor
Is a trifle precarious She merely for
gOt her husbands words of caution and
m til I
F
r rpl
She Put the Canary In the Icebox
WAS probably rnrpns through the
laboratory when the sad event orcurnM
There are some re I so careless is
to forget their husbands existence
However that Is a delcate phase of
matrimony better left to te triangular
plots of pertcrvld playwright
It 1ft the K od sound gentle and kind
wife who furnishes a serious and hitter
problem by her carelessness She will
spring out of bed In the morning
bubbling over with the best Intentions
In the world then nuiku the sad dis
covery that she forgot to proviso any
thing for breakfast Possessed of
strange fancies us to your digestive
powers or utterly thoughtless on the
subject sho Is Just as apt to set dog
biscuits before you as the latest brand
of shredded pine splinters 1t
J
If she keeps a girl the girl does as
she pleases viz nothing more than
absolutely necessary to keep you from
i
r r
I
a I sl
f
y I
relit
Ohl w 1 t 1
r U
Her Mirth Saves Her Tula
rising In a sudden passion and slaying
herThe i
The Careless Wife will cheerfully
wash the Jog and the baby with the
same SOP and then wonder vaguely
why the Little Darling becomes M
highly aromatic I
The opulence of the Old Clo1 Man
e largely due to the canny bargain I
thev drive with Slipshod Spouses
Just another suit and a pair ot
shoos madam and Ill make It UK
and In goes your latest uniform and
your newest boots You may growl J
and groan over this sort of thing but
not she As one saving grace she pot 1
sesse a sense of humor of her own
Wasnt It funny Edward that 1
we that peddler a 310 bill and thought
It waj a ont Edward Is apt to lose
hs rtandlng In church It the neighbor
arc listening but Dorothys laugh rings
hUh and clear
Possibly It 1ft only the unquenchable
mirth of a Careless Wlfo that saves
her from an occasional thumping Not
hat the thumping would do her any
good IPV more than It does any good
> n pound the spirit out of a hlghitrunt
child Better resign youMtlf to ttI
dreary philosophy that something may
of temperament
turn up to produce a change t
perament You can get some slight
romfort by smirching deeply In recent
ponderous works on psychology that
Inform you profoundly of strange
psychic revolutions that occur In the
minds of our fair nnd frivolous sister
feel al
Then after a while you may
that lIur Careless
not lapp In the hope your
less Wife will one day be reorganized
by a mental munsunn into a careful
thoughtful correctly balanced partner
A Whimsical Defense of Gambling
By Clarence Rook
who plays banco for halfpennl
with the boy a
much sympathy
HAVE
I on the barge with the cabman who puts UU naifcrown on his fancy t
the eternal monotony of so much I
D Thoy work hard as a rule with
week Just as some millions of other human beings Nothing unex
peeled will ever happen unless something Is ventured and tho street
I boys risk of a halfpenny has Its Justification In a book which Is usually given
searchers after elementary knowledge My first prIze
as a prize to plodding I
at school was Dr Smlless Self Help In Which If you please the gambler
are held up to admiration by that apostle of work lienvenuto Celllnlyou yl
have doubtless read of Cellinis account of the matter In his Autobiography 1
contents of his kitchen
pitched tabled clothes copper pewter and the whole 1
Into the tire that was to cast hU statue and the world commends him Her
card IMlllssy In the same way staked his household furniture for the purpose
of baking his earthenware and Dr Smiles approves of the gamble We could
have got along without Cellinis Perseus and Pnlllssyi pots yet If they
lived In England today we should doubtless commend them for that wild
slake of a house and wife against an Image or a pot Dr Smiles Is my guide
From that day of reading my prize I have always gamiMedthough generally
with health time space and other things that are apparently lest Important
I
than money r
It Is true that I play bridge for tenpencp a hundredand find the triumph
of the street boy when I have quite unexpectedly won cnouKi to pay a taxicab
home That Is In the seclusion of private premises For Vera I to play short d
halfpenny on licensed premises and win or lose twopenco the heavy hand of I
I the law would be upon meant spoil the splendid triumph by taking the edge
off the galn Black and White
to
The Woman of Our Day
By Elizabeth Bisland
ITH nil the calumny and scorn that men hate heaped upon woman
I I they have yet kept her an Ideal They have treated her much as the
I
I Italian fisherman does the Image of his patron saint he umacki It
when In a temper but worships It and looks up to It as something
better than himself all the while Now an Ideal even when treated
pretty roughly Is a potent thing writes Elizabeth Bisland In the North Ameri
can Review It assimilates the holder of It to Itself as the green leaf turns a
chameleon to Its own tint and all that we do and are of the best results from
our compact with our value of that Immediate Jewel of our souls It Is said that I
the capacity for growth and development In a race may always be tested ac
curately by the races attitude to Its women If Its Ideal of women Is low and I
gross Its general progress la also low and gross And this Is equally true of I
the Individual No one ever knew a really admirable man who thought badly ol
women and the nature of a woman Is suspect who thinks meanly of her own
sex The terrible welter of European savagery In the Middle Ages got its great
est Impetus forward through the development of the dreams of chivalry And IJ
It the real women were at all as the poets and painters and storytellen thought t
of them one doesnt wonder They were the dearest creatures
St j
A Little Devil In the Heart I
1
By William J Locke
N Insane devil lurks In the heart of even the most sainted of
woman
v w It Is the little devil that makes a young wife ask her devoted husband
A which of thi two he would save If she and his mother were Ifownlnf
writes William J Locke In his story Simple Septimus In the Ameri
can Migatlno It la the earn little devil that Is responsible for in
finite mendacity on the part of men Have you said that to another wo anr
No of course he hadnt and the wretch la Instantly perjured My Immortal
j
loul says the good fellow Instantaneously converted Into an atrocious liar tad l
tho Uttle devil coos with satisfaction nnd curls himself up snuggly to sleep r ill
I
+ 1
A FiftyYearOld Mustache
DRAM BCIIAEFFnn who resides near EllzaJxthtown Pa made afro fl
A In UK that It James Buchanan should be elected President he would DIY
GUt wltte nil muiUab 11 iJ I
i
J j
t t
s JI l 1r
r wan x i r

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