Newspaper Page Text
The Evening World Daily Magazine. Saturday, March 1, 1913
W "S Matter, Pop?" jj g UaSSaaJ M M By C. M. Payne g
rsi FTBH i rn HBBB o,so wikuAi?? 2, FnBHf itt-whists 1
' X J Wti.u w.at Jfl Svistm and Tain will. J fl or is JuST A H
C-V) ' 1 TVlt- 1 DE.A ' '; liHH i Com; o'r OF VAihSVouT ? ( W i6URATve. EjlPKesSlOtVlJ .H
w SY ) 9 -HB U v 1 rv ;7 L" rHH v vou cant mave i
fljP" Jj j W
YONOTTH-TA AND- J S9 HH yoa Uint,1n H HtYfT).IANY 1 J
oo CLOTHE 'I BEM ( 9 fvfsn ii H ? " ' B COM1 ou-r?
Oomiiht mis e t Prw hiMltMai
ITSs Jlsw lurk Warl.ll.
Mr. 7arr Capitalizes
A Brain Fever Attack.
THINK we might have a utile
Una of pinochle and amok?,"
suggested Mr. Jarr, the robust
Invalid. "Anybody got a good cigar'."'
"Now, you are not going to smoke
Id my front room!" geld Mra. Jarr,
forgetting Mr. Jarr was threatened
with brain fever. "And &i for playing
cards. I think you gentlemen did
enough damage when I wua In the
country laat aummerl Ton ruined my
dining-room table by scratching It with
poker ohlpa and burning It with your
old clgare! And my rug was a r'ght
with burnt matches and cigar ashes and
bite of ham and rheeae from your old
eandwlches ground Into It! And I
found, tinder the sideboard alone,
dot ens and dozen of those crimped
III beer bottle tops"
"Oooh!" groaned Mr. Jarr. as he
leaned back In the eaay chair.
"Bash!" cried the chairman of the
visitors' committee, the ready-witted
Mr. Hangle. "He Is thrcitrned with
brain fe.er. lie must be humored!"
"Oh. dear! How could I forget?" re
plied Mrs. Jarr. ' Yes, we must humor
him. He wants me to rook 'he Vir
gin ham you sent for. Mr. Pnffertv.
and put the wine on lee you' sent for,
Mr. Rangle. Pn I suppose I'll have to
let you play plnn.-hle nnd smoke right
here In my parlor whllo I tlx a little
Mr. SlavlnsVv went to the telephone
and. In Oermm. to be more emphatic
ordered a box of the best cigars Gu
-had, to he sent around at once.
Mr. Blavlnsky always approached a
telephone a thoiiKh It were some dead
ly Instrument that would explode right
In his face If he showed any slgna of j
Hence he rinsed Ml eve an tight hi
face wrinkled' end then he bawled
theough the transmitter In a harsh,
"Sure!" he wss saying "A bog of
your very best cigars zw'l fOf flint."
Then he lapsed into German Mr.
Jarr afterward slid he cnulo under
stand enouv-'i fierm.in to
Mr. Slavlnsky left the matter aa to
who wn to nav foe the rlglrg rather
vague and ngbutOUa, The only thing he
was positive shout wa that It would
da Mr. Jarr good If CIus sent strong
cigars. Mr Jarr being verv Wagfc
In due time rimer, tins' hri'-tcnder,
arrived with the box of cigars nnd i ;
pinochle deck. Ami Mr Slavlnsky, Mr
Raffertv tfr.d Mr. Rensle kat pafentlv
to work to cheer up the patient at four-
hand auction hid
Rut. a they afterward told flus. I
frlaadihlp or no frtsndahlp, they you'd !
never eo through 0Uh ". expartsnet i
again. To initgnea, Mr. tlavdnsky ask-d 1
(not II a( he eared, but Just to make j
talk) while P.ifT rty was dealing, the .
stock, fco 1. ton! arid vete- ;
rlnarr prenarntlons of ever"
kin 1 are clasi ' as patent medi
cine In Norway. Ail paten! medi
cines or preparation olaaalAgd a gtwll
i an be solJ through drugglt nly.
and nie subje't to examination by a
board called thu .Msilislii.il t, relson.
If found harmful, or tha claims mule
for t! em nro oonglderad mlsl"ad!ng. nr
If unalj -la 0hows that they are priced
out uf proportion to the. cost of '. uir
lugludkuls, Ihgif sale is lui uiu.icn.
a v- III
P'ubable effect uf Mr. Jarr'a Indlspo.
Hon on tbo llrm that had the food
fortune of his servlces-when la health.
"If you are to be sick playing plrwdile
at home, m Vlrehlnla ham and tcha.n
payner wines and I wlah ouch a sick
ness I could get sitting mlt your
friends In a red llannel dressing jkjrt,
In't it pretty bad for your lit m, and
won't u put tilings on the bum?" be
"How on the bum What do you
mean.'" growled the I, rain fev;r patient
"Ain't you afraid If you ain't tner
attending to the, customers that the firm
111 go Into the hands of a decelverf"
aake.l Mr. Slavlnsky.
Mr. Jarr was on the point of saying
the Arm was In the hands of u de
ceiver even then one who had deceived
him na regards a lonv-promUeri raise
of salary. Hut ha only remarked sul
lenly: "Can th chatter!"
"What you bid?" asked Rangle.
"Threa hundred and llfty!" said Mr.
Ho got the bid, liut In melding he de
clared a dlx was a ten-spot nnd ln
aloted he had lit) elubs und luu aces.
"Why, you only got three, ace' That
I Is. you got four aees, but two of them
j Is aces of spades!" said Kafferty.
"How now. Hecate' Tou look nng
I rlly!" replied .Mr. Jarr.
' Whose a he-Katie?" asked Mr. Hla
vlnsky. "You aln t got 160 trump, ui.d
you ain't got 1U0 aces!"
" 'Out, damned Spot!' quoted Mr. Jarr,
nnd he kicked a slippered tout at the
"Where Is the dog?" asked HufTerly
"I don't ace him."
"What dog?" whispered Rangle.
"Th;s dog 'Sput' he tells to go out?"
, w nspered Rofferty In reply.
"And so, yuu soe, I win!" gald Mr
Jarr with merry laugh., "And It will
a.al ..... rl ...Wl- , ... .
L..B, .......... 'n. - ml. UrLdUHl- yOL' '
. ,, " I
"B-ihl Humor him!" murmured Run- I
1 .1.. nu . U r.i.ln.1... .l. 1
1, 1 . , . ,M.tf t-.ifceu away. i
HAI?K VI WELL, MAT?CUS' A
IDlSTItiGWISHED BOARDER HAS
v.,- ( ARRIVED AM' IF XXI
K KZi i HUMAN OETING-li
B .'tM 1 RE WAP F If
: JrVHU - r'-rz " NJ ! . II W"A. r-. M M H '- I ui, 1 V
The Shocks of Doom
iCswr.tbt 1900, bf Doublsdu. l' Os.l
HERB la an ar.stocracy of tha
TUbllc juries and even of tha
agabonds who use them for
their private apartments.
Vallanca felt rather than
knew this, bu' when ha stepped down
out of his world Into chaos his faet
urough him directly to Madison Squard.
He had given up his apartment that
morning. Ills furniture had gone to
ward certain debts.
li.- clothes, save
what were upon him, had descended to
bis man-servant for back wages. As
be sal there was not in the whole city
for him a bed or a broiled lobster or a
street-car far or a carnation for his
buttonhole unless he should obtain
them by sponging on bat frlonds or by
false pretenses. Tlierefura ha had
chosen the park.
And all this wa because an uncle
had disinherited htm and cut down his
allowance from liberality to nothing.
And all that was because his nephew
had dlaobeyod him concerning a certain
' elrl who comes not Into this story
therefore, nil readers who brush th.V.r
hair toward Its roots may be warned to
read no further There was another
nenhew. of a different branch, who had
once been me prospective neir ana ia-
vorlle. Uclng without graca or hops, ha
had long ago disappeared In the mlra.
Vow dragnets were out for him; he was
to he rehabilitated and rentorrd. Ajnl so
Vallance fell grandly as Lucifer to the
lowest pit. Joining thu tattered ghosts
In the little park.
Then arose one from a aeat near the
leaping fountain and came and sat htm
self at Vallance'a side. He was olther
young or old; cheap lodging-houses had
flavored him mutily: razors arid combs
hard pass. I him by; In him drink had
been bottled and sealed In the devil's
bond. He begged a match, which Is
the form of Introduction among park
bonchera, and then ho began to talk.
"You're not one of the regulars." h
said to Vallanee. "I know tailored
clothes when I see "em. Tou Just
stopped for a moment on your way
through the park. Don't mind my talk
ing to you for a while? I've got to he
with somebody. I'm afraid I'm afraid.
I've, told two or three of those bum
mers over there ulmut It. They think
I'm crazy. Hay let me tell you-all I've
had to eat to-day was a co rplo of
I retzels and an apple. To-morrow I'll
stand In line to Inherit three millions;
and that restaurant you soe over there
I w.th the autos around tt will be too
cheup for me to eat In. Don t believe it.
"Without the slightest trouble," aa!J
Vallance, with a laugh. "I lunch 1
there yesterday. To-night I coi'luo'i
.. ,, , ..fy
(HI V It ll--. nil ...
.... . .. , k .... . f
miaM thoaa things hapiKn. I used to
. . ..
i,e a nig.i-iiier inys-'.: one years awn.
...a,,., awafi , til' a ntgO u ' fr Uf ""I aWlll. gaara aao MBawaaaaIBMasBBMaawaaaaB..aaaBaaaB.aaaaaiaBBaiaaiaaBBBBBBaaaaaaaaaaaiaaaaaaaaaaaiaaaiaaaaaaa.iB.aaa.Baaaaaaaaa i vaManoe Ills rilntil." Iliado iia fill'iWS: V.llite
MARCUS, The boarding House Goat
ftE! READER! THEy
I TELL ME THIS NEW
BOARDER 15 SOHE
THERE'S CLASS TO
j THIS BQPOIN ' HOUSE
W TuiCDrunniijiuAi.cc" I r 1 . agST ! II PWd mi w 'i.l
liLlin ouWr..j . .1 tfaslt. V Pt , ' ' I g f r a W 47'
What 'knocked u out of the game?"
"I ek I tnat mv tli" .at, VeJtaaM.
'"Ifg undiluted Hades, this city," ent
on the other. "Una day you'ra ra'lng
'rom china; tha next you are eatl-ig In
i mna a cnp suey joint. I vt na i aiure
than my share of hard luck. For live
years 1'va boon ilttla better than a pan
handler. I was raised up to live ex
pensively snd do nothing. Say I don't
mind telling you I've got to talk to
somebody, you see, because I'm afraid -I'm
afraid. My name'a Ide. You
wouldn't think that old Paulding, one of
the millionaires on Riverside lHlve, .as
my uncle, would you." Well, ha Is. 1
lived In his house on CO and had nil the
money I wanted. Say, haven't you got
the price of a couple of drinks about
you er what's your nan a"
"Dawson," said Vallancc. "No: I'm
aorry to say that I'm all in, financially."
"I've been living for a week !n a
cool cellar on Division street," went
on Ide, "with a crook they call-1
Hltnky Morris. I didn't have any
where else to go. Whde I wa out
to-day a chap with some papers la
his pockets was there, asklnir for me.
I didn't know but what he was a fly Pop,
ao I didn't go around again till after
dark. There was a letter there he had
left for me. Say Dawson, It was from
a big downtown lawyer, .Mead. I've ltf
his sign on Ann street- 1'auMini; uan'a
, to play the prodigal nephew wants
me to come back and be his heir again
and blow In hi money. I'm to cull at
the lawyer's oftlco nr 10 to-morrow und
step into my uid shoes again hi
three million, Dawson, and llo.uou i
year po. kt money. And I'm afraid
The vagrant leaped to his feet and
raised both trembling arms above hi
head. He caught his breath und moaned
Valiums seized his arm and forcud
him back to the bench.
"Pie quiet!" he commanded, wlh
something like dlnguxt In hi louo. "fine
would think you had lost a fortune.
Instead of being about to acquire one.
Of what are you afraid?"
"Why, I'm afraid aomethlng will hap-
THE Wir.CS OF
BY LOUIS TRACY
Aa Startlinily Original and Exciting as
"TAitfAN OF THE APES"
Will Begin in Monday's ! vcninv orld. March 9.
I f XEA MARCUS .' . CAESA t lM
iWlxTtATEST LIVING ThsOSiDI AH - AM
I PROOO OF 7 ) I SHALL MAKE YOU
I ME MANAGE 13, THAT YOJ MAV GROW I
rm iabai wl4
III V I 'X
..i 1 1 1 1 i i i .aaawakV j Diy ii m j n ixv a. j i
WA Romance oflM
ffl ) Madison Square H
pen to me befuru inuriilng, 1 don't know
what something to Kaap iiih from com
ing Into thut money. I'm afraid a tree
will fall on me, I'm afraid a cab will run
over me, or a stone drop on mo from a
housetop, or somethlni;. 1 never was
afraid b(Ora. I've sat In this purk a
hundred nights a calm as a graven
IninK without knowing where my
breukfat was to como from. Hut now
It's dlffarant I love money, Dawson;
I'm haPpy us a god whin It's trickling
through my tinners, and people are bow
ing to me, with the mu.ta und tha
flowers and the tine clothes all uiuund.
As long as 1 knew 1 was out of the gams
I didn't mind. I was even happy s iting
hero ragged and hungry, listening to the
fountain Jump and "waU-iiliig the car
riages go up the avenue. Hut It's In
reach of my hand aguln now utmost
and 1 can't stand to watt twelve hours,
Datraon I can't e nd It. There are
fifty tlilm: Unit could happen to me 1 entd vail an 0a, laughing, thut I would
could go blind I mlsJit bo attacked w;th have thought that a man who was ex
heart dlM'.iKu-the world might come to peeling to come Into a fort tin a on tha
an end before 1 could" next day would be feeling pret'.y easy
ide sprung to his fatt again with a and quiet."
shriek, l'eople stlneil on the benches Al 10 o'clock on the next dav the two
and began lo luok. Vallance took bis Mood st the door of Lawyer Mead's of-
"I'otne nnd walk," he alu soothingly,
"and try to calm youreelf, 't here Is no
need to become excited or alarmed.
Nottllng Is go.ng to happen to yuu. Otis
night la like another."
Vallanee led til oompanlon up almost
deerted Kll'th avenue and then weet
ward along the Thirties toward Itroad
w iv. "Walt here a few minutes,1 ha
said, leaving Ide in a quiet an I shud-
,.d HO..I He entered a riiuilllac l. olid
- - - - - -- --
sns atrwiissi iwwww ssm uj.io iii ni
.-...11-. I ,1... I. . . .. .1... . ..I .
oiu aasurau wav.
"Thaya'g a poor devil oulglda, Jtinm.'. '
he agld to tha bartendar, "who as ho's
hungry and lookg it. Yuu know what
they do when you give them monay, Wg
up a gandgrioh or two lor hlui. and I'll
M" that he doesn't throw It away."
Tcrt.iiniy, Mr. Vallanca," said the
bartender. "They ain't all r.ike.. Don't
like to h- anyi.odv go hungry."
tie folded a liberal supply of th. fr.
Bot E -
I AHD-ER-IN TH MEANTIME.'
i cujlo oi siM.-t
cujlo yjosifc-t Me
ATEh CASE NOTE ?
I Ltrj ME CULt K ( '
By O. Henry
lunch Into a napkin. Vallum e went wi'h
It and Joined his i umpaniou. Ida
pounced upon the food ravenously.
"Wo'll go back to tha Huuui"," said
Ide. "Tha cops won't bother us the.-a.
I'll roll up the rest of tbl ham and
stuff fgr our breakfast. I won't eat aMiy
more: 1'nt afraid I'll get alck. Ivppoaa
I'd dte uf cranrps or something to-nl;.it
and never get to touch ttiat money
again 1 It's eleven hours yet till time
to ace thut lawyer. You won't ieave tfta,
will you, DnwoonT I'm afraid some
thing might lt.it pii Yuu haven't any
pla-e to go, have you?"
"No," said Vallance; "nowti'-ra to
night. I'll huvo a beuen with you. '
"You lake It cool," .aid Ide,
you've told It lo ine strulht. I ahould
think a muu put on the bum from I
good Job JoHt In one day Wuiil be tear
Ing his hair."
"I belleva I've already remarked.'
nce in Ann street.
Idea nerve fluttered worse than ever
when the hour approached, and Vul.
lame OOUId 11 it de' lite to av
posalbls prey to the dangers na droadad
When they entered the oflo Lawyer
Mead looked al them wnnderingly. jf9
and VallanOa were old friend. After
hi greeting tie lurnad to l ie. who st,l(j
with white fsee and ttemblinu limbs be
fore the expected crisis.
"f M ' , D Br..'..... !..- . . -
. . V . . . " r TOUT ad
n.n,, ,g nll'lir lr Ifl.
he said "I
morning that v.,u n,,t
there to ncelve II. It will inform yon
that Mr. PauldlBf has reconsidered hi
0af to take you bach Into favor. He
hi decided not to do so. and desires
you in understand thai no thanga win
tin made. In tha relations exlst'ng b.
tween (lri 1 him."
tda'g irambllng guddraly oaaaad The
color came ba. k to hi. face nnd he
forwird half an ,n, h and a ftoam Z
nt'' his eye.. II pushed back bis hat-
tered hit WlhS ,,,. hand .M.I
er raigntun d
the other, With levelled fingers, toward
he lawyer, Ha took a long bream and
than laughed sardonically.
en .,1 rauiaing na may go n th
deuce!" he ani l
loudly and olaarlv .o.i
turned and walked ut of th.
a Brm and llvelv .ten
Lawv.r Mead turned on his he. to
vaiianeg and smiled.
I am glad fa
I'll! III." Ii. ,.i i
Vour uncle wants von t,.
turn iiurnt at on-e. n i. reoonatlad
to the situation thut led to his hu-v
Hon, and dealrea to suy that ..
"Hev. Adam!" tried Lawyer Meat
breaking hla isntenea and calling lo
hi clerk "Bring i gli of waier
Mr. Vallance ha fainted."
i uuuia '. mi a.
e asf f ihlbSllllS I'.
as ter Ureal its w
Of Famous Women
iAiyjr.s.t, i.ij, .f in. me I'aausuuia Ce, ilxw as lues awsalaa WsrMI.
MMM, KMCAMiMiTS WONDROUS BEAUTY.
KullAHLY no iv.,.. i.., mole
ur with filtndalilp than was Mine,
ero probfaMl nUhWI sfhO waya as
and lntelle. tii.il. But In her own linn no one, before or alnce, has ever bean
unite so clever ii Mine. Iteeamler. I'or IhD wonderful h'rench woman hud a
genius for friendship. Moot or Hie famous men uf ttie Klrat Kmplre were at some
period of her llfu dvapcrately In luva with bar. And even visiting foreigners, like
thu famous Duke of Wellington ur I'rlnce Augustus of I'rusala or tha Herman
jioef tloettie, were smitten with her charms.
did .he retiel llieir advances I hat .h. keut
drsth. Kor she perfuriued the almost
She was endowed by nature with
thus described by anuthnr woman.
5 KTvte.. RtCAMIER
father. In accordance
feS. i. islalPl
nc. with tTraaoh custom th. young girl hadnothlng to
it aaqiUaacad dutifully to Jier piuents' wlshaa.
about this union, b
an. uaonci nvcu hi a lawen etyie ami was very proud of tha m
beauty of his young wife. Hhu soon commenced to glve thos. rntT6
ere to make her the mu farnou woman of her day. racepuone that
Mme. It.ca.nler hud been taught by her mother, herself handsom. woxomn
tr, t iki, ureal care of her beauty (i f Ik- . ' woman.
,..r. ,., ... ..""j;.""' r-nahla thing,
.1,, nut mean m.ilii -on. but healoii .tmiiii.
r ..... . . ... . , " ...T".
iii. tun iiii.M- .,,i,,3 u-iit. in iii r. t imBrava the
and ilnro I. no doubt thu Mm,. Raoamlay preserved he iT complexions,
A OomDlagkin pomad . i" It wu aallad i i . . Ik"n ln manner.
A conipieaiun pumng . ie u au Bailed
made gg follows: v.
wax and aaern.:.,
...... i...i willt admiration, with love
llecumler. blvcu In her own day there
baaullful and many seumrn irxire wlttv
Ho great waa bar tact and so aweetly
niafiv of hee lovira t.. H.u a.. .. ... ,
Impossible feat of turning theoi Into (as.
an extremely attraetiva personality. She
She sa by no means "man's woman"
solely, but waa deep
ly beloved by bar
own aez aa wsIL
had a auppia aad
elegant figure, a
neok and shoulders
admirable both aa to
'haps and propor
tion, a little red
mouth, pearly teeth,
a noaa dolloate aad
regular In ah spa,
and an Incompar
ably brilliant com
plexion, itar face
waa full of aim
piirtty and eooa
ntonally moat rogu
ish. It waa ren
dered irresistible by
tha klndllnaaa of Ita
She waa the daugh
ter of a notary, or
lawyer; a man much
respected and ta
aha waa fifteen he
and her mother ar
ranged a marriage
for her with Ra-
amier. the rtoh
banker, who was
mora than old
enough to be her
rosllietlf.. un.i k. tt
,..i i..,l - " mess I
" "-na lor the skin.
Many of tha
It, .III. BU., - -
n,.,, -a. , .
- ..!, ... . ' " "',v" used
ii. or each .t. .... ..
n. re. "
- . ... ano a Half. Thi
Sfierm i. i ll
nint h- mall.,1
I Ulg m
water heated und beateji i0.o
a'o.ll itlC bath that
-l. r,,..l l. are
" ag ...id ,o 'remove Data ,, 2U
sequageag of cold
anise clove. jy
i i anil con-
W.11 eornri,i-,eU ,-,f
rlowara, balm, sweet
r.- n .r-L- aaj I
h..- ;l, inai j, i, jui
M r . rir..-inils. -i-
-''i'.x for hrjr t..rton In
''r OH I 11 I grr.3f tar. slew
- - - w vet, in
t iin ft t mi m.i ,
i IT Wills (T i i m,-... t .. w -
rlta drvss Waa white and hv. i,.... ...
frlird was th
.... , - u . a
most f.irnnus o her
Viscount de Chs sau.
hrl ma. who,
ufter the death of h.r
wh-T '... was m i
vontaa, wniie.i tu , ,rry i.r, bu, w,,
; th. go.. tangg that never faded her laa
, refugau ium.
The, douglinuts"-- began the mie,
"W hat s the matter with then'' d.aJ
" 1 ' I 1 ; li'.J de V :., n. ... . (fga'
, liin- .i eounier.
"1 thing their inner tuoea si
I tared Waahlnutou risraid .