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' ' , " " ' ' ' ' ' '" ' . ' 1 ' ' ' ' ' ' " ' " ''' '''''' '' " SSTissa . fWHUmV . f ", JV.lrTO T. - Kaw a . L i H 1 1'. & i?inMI Hi THE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, MARCH 1, 1913. Believe May Irwin, Woman Can t Outlive Her Sense of Humor IPyyM' r,- Ay j ESlfcff "SSwBhHHHHHw hmhh!m8hh5 BaM hW Hfc 0 Lm . vl Km - HI H - It's limn in Her atu! Kc- is Her Alive, Es pecially When It' a Mixed With a Drop of Scotch So Why No Laugh W UhHerWhi n You Get i he Chanee? UY CHARLES MRS TON. APTJSK getting behind one oT UlOie trustwoi-iby upright trunks I ventured to inquir": ; "J! in tho Cll&Uy W0DMI1 ail UK" ' limit?" "There's nothing, personal In that, ; I hope?" remarked Miss May ir;n. eyeing me narrowly and at the Ham",1 tine itealthlly drawing toward her it heavy kUib paperweight war ranted to kill at forty paoon. "Jlow could there bet" I asked, lueping on the sale siile of Hie (juoa-, tlon RI '.veil as the trunk. "Thnt'H not bad," bIid was Kood Bough to say, "but," ahe added, turning to abuse poor de Zayan, "thai caricature you nude of me well, i , love earieaturea BUT!" Her f i r it. ' lightened uhout the deadly paperweight mil for a moment wordi fatted bar, Btroog emotion km obv. uuhiv working overtime in her. i lulaUy anjoylm tho aHtwtfcM when ho lurni d "ii mu with: .sin! I've a little aomethinj for you. i really puahl '" 'hoo it you. And llirn dy. mSi 1 oughtn't It'i an aeknow- ledginent from the author of my play to the evitlce and there are a eoupie f iiom woitten in red ii. a well o cool blood, for you." i toaaed her Ml to ipare me. (Any-j thlni to help a friend, i thought, glane.l ln .it my unhappy eouiptulun, who wa ' iirnTng ai pa' '''' :"'sl In "Jtam-1 lot." I "All i lit!" u'.Ji"Cil Mill Irwin, e'mrs- Pitt upon bar writing deik ind daoblng k ii "ii , r.'-op,' from whloh ihe drew a lettoi thai looked though it had been to nr.- n by I proM agent In (III t ... i .r u S o. lay ' id " ' 'hat iu von Uitnk oi i .ii ' m lemandod, ii h a htri' uihina hoi i lenoi of humw ' l to ' 111 1 '" " '' " "Voi lu-t ihi i i'"' declared Mini lr win, ilbiillug over :tii inthuilaini for th m ithor of "Widow dv Proxy," tv. . i' i u ihi wen! . "I PO id riiir rer hi u i I, And then, too, e-OjO' .' w tu i .... at. I've neon ladj otitfto'i lUai ii.au . me leol 'ii ueod of fl.ok"il (jla0 but tllLs one Well, he' tie ultra iorl of thing yoU know ,-mak' you tii'nk of ,i fashion ptato come io life. Yon oncTit to iee her!" I'n iijf lrwina lyoi and honda Tti. " . is .i momoN of elottuont ellenoi In w ll h 1 WM ten lo reflet that an anoe n nver knowi the light time to call "A .in ir!' U Uaually hrlnKK forth .1 elf-iatlsfli 1 Individual who louke like 1 bu her wrong, or gf a ihy, bobbing creaturo no Memi to M the work of th viiiaic dreaimokir. 'I'o think Unit a fcnlntne foihlon plate hod been lefl to bl loh UMeen wua MM , , Ini a bll ., bull Into th" Amines' Club. v .1 now," returned Maw Irwin, toot In? the hot!) fumlture, "wen rlitht booh w it. t i w atarted What the iioo r talking about an an" limit for n funny woman'.' Hhe hasn't any tnat'i Um iinvwer. Juat Ihlna beck f 1 a in". in 'it 11, lear ud Mil. i . : io rt. She a oonteAlsMM 10 thi lay el her death, and Hhe livid to be Mvanty.Ava or elBhtyi The Ultngi tlx u. I i" say m tin- old Auguetln Paly dayil i i in ittll luar her Mplng to JtrnMltl l'.., 'I'll you later,1 Am oh mi limit on Mn Ollbert. And m it li with other wn":i of th" Stage, A iihb ol humor In born 111 you ai d It tarrlM you al"!ig an lone ai you live, ll MVei you from nlng mad. ft,i"uUinK paroonally, on Monday night It tved me fr-im failure." Two WindoWl were op. n, so Mis Ir- win's etgh asssped easily to the outer air. "it wa nit well enough for you Myi 1n front to My 'Jolly May Irwin' to youreetveo," ulie ku i..i. "but if you ould 'live read my thoughts you might have written another Mary. The truth it 1 wm down In in boots-but high heeled illppsra have their invtsg v 1 Her' hw i to i when lb! our n went up Thai afti nnin my brother h.ui iieeii sirlokon w.tn UImm and i WM ''k that I ou d hardly get tjHI NtiDS A MASiK ho Wot'!' Of the pluv OUt OF my thro it. urn i footed yon uii you iriugai drag' I know how Ml) JTOil ere!" IM threw herself bock to enjoy in iv ii. in which, i gladly toim-d. Tim riirt li I hot M.n Irwin hoo ho Mttei frtendi in !tew fork than the di rated mtrot who tiini hor welcome perform' miooi imo "copy "Don't t-' UK for a momMt," she n:i- tir.rd to stit. "Hint lip l.vigh'a on you boys. Iloovoh forbid! I know li i friends, and I don't forget tiiem. Vo,i ran put I it in your li it end vrAr it OUt wlt'l you BUI lm giving you tif mrorenstton ernes i ten yog ji t felt anything bat Jolly on Mondi tiIkji 1 . WO one thing, my 00M hod Bolt' from my throat to my client, un.l. ns 0y il.N'tor Ml I. that's going a. long WO with mr " rhi Joke wm on Hie hest-and Mt train ni nl" RO bone BJboul It Sie was jouh'iilnx bottor n il m tinned "My MM of humor ll keener fO day than It IVtr WOO And I owe It j 0 u drop "i f Beotoh in my Mlna m mother i PootohMiodloiL rtmt ih "inti Sbs'l Ulity on." iho docn't look a, dap over fifty, ii'i r. in", of humor keeps Mr your.:,'. And thot'l true of overy Worn. in Who teokf upon life Wll I a twinkle In hi r ey. Any time you heni' any one say tint Women haven'' i icnio of humor ion't you believe it! tv rather play to an audience of WOtMCJ tli in nun nny tlmo, nn'l ll II tl"'y tell mo I know mon protty trolL for that mot tar i flatter myoclf thai : know how to make men iii.'i And nil brthRi us to Ihi beginning ami ni of ihli kjoppy mooting. No woman out ItVM lier MIOO "f humor It mii ki to he, nn Ions nil flu can Itli k to earth. Mi (lie !' lit la h i.'jlic" to expre It." I WM only too will nl tn let tier tnlk tt Mtn't every afternoon that hard- wrklnir in. in iii"i!i :i Mny Irwin I lifter III. ri -";ves .'""if pn tli in ll'h ;"l' oomiii.ui:' ::t:un wltli tlu fiisway, wlien your Retail "r nowOMPOO I itUCk In your ".v.- It WHO n relief to lieni : "Why noi mOkO tli" most of a lmsr when you ' "ii It? IwvhI v ar I h:il t 'Sn Knowi Better Now.' i'it I thought too mueh of yen frill'-" I" lirinit It Into New V..rk. ir I've re.nl one play I've rend Ave hundred sin--" iaet all It WM purely by MCldonl that 1 in-1 widow by Prosyv A frlisd oi mini bumped into vvtllla HUlott, who askod: 'li May Irwin looking for a piny?' 'Who! rolng blind l"''lni foi One,' repllod the IrUShfUl boy. Th. next tlilnn I knew I win :.i lm; 'irood mo?'n- inK' to Mr, I'oiiott, nag look would have it Mrs Cuihlng msm In white 1 WM looking over lier play. That setlli ii It. A bargain was made then and thin Th, re's on" tlilirr about a woman aU thor of a worn in'i play tii.it i'iii Mr head and ihOUldaTI abOVS the man wt'" trle tn lit 1 play to an MlreOO-Ofcl 111- gorotsndi 1 woman's feellngo, whsroM he only ihlPhs be does, iiut you have to come to Nee Vorit to Rnd your plsy wrlgbt, Bspertence on the road boa taught ni" i t women outside of Hew Toni-HUld tlil IS iqusfty true of 'tten. pctOiapi are 11"' addlatod to the habit of writ imr plays Anywav. thai I ti naikid .i"d lore yo 1 ll luul t " play. II RHkrd n It'a to be found any-wii.Te. "You afe a suffragist?" f li" .iui trembling. Will not ess lly, I Ion Ilk tl. word." "lloW A.I..M It nund lO you?" "id hut" to till you Hut aren't i e iiavlog nic" weather for this time of ycart li pondi oU m thouatiii bosh i. the farm. The mambaM of m) 0 Nn pony loll me ovaa the tea we inv" from in. iuy for my drwotng room that they Won't f1'! afe abOUl u two WMkl notloo until they give mi a mask 1 Which t" croaa 11 '.mil wii v. They'in afraid I'll hear a bird chirping or te :i blade "f grass In I.olur AOfS and ii I 'h" all ol' iprtngi And ntHetklng of tpi ng. don't forgot the OternsJ 'nje 'f 1,11 r. No, iliat lon'l IM diH.r to .1." 1 1 that's thi bathroom, Tbta way 9 I TO CR0S1 I '10ADWA V. Meg Villars Sees the New York Stock Exchange and Wonders Why Wives Are Teased About Bargain Sales She Xotices That There Is Aiway on the Floor a Loan Broker Who Will Lend Money to (be Mem hers on the Spot When They Want to Buy Stocks and Things. Her Notion Is Tt Would Be a Good Idea for the Stores to lluve a Man on Hand to Lend Cash to Women Who Leave Home With Only Car fare When They Co S ;( in u. ttY MEG VILLA Its. ArTKR ii woman tool your stink Exchange, doar New York, the just nits down and wtederi how on earth you men OPaaturei huvo tho nerve lo joko her abon! Uart.iin sulc!!! Why, the Stork' Bllflhantt ik Just like a big ImrKuIn Hale, hut not ati pretty boCAUM your ribbons are only Ioiik bile of white tape with mys terloui hieroniypiiUs printed alooi tlicm! Now, a woman would hnvo mad tiioHi- tape maehinei coablna I leaaiire witb lui-m. - .'. If you nine ! iaV0 ntO'k quotatlonn 11 that th. i. ulit way t y Itf), have them, hut why ii't have a Kteo Mlial ftory run- t:iio; on the underaldt to amuoi tn rnemberi who don't e"m to he taking my nrtlve part In th" efAinbiet I'm uit iuro that a woman wouldn't Bnd the WaP to make th.it mnr-hlno turn! -nt aUHuKfn, too; U would eoh t .'man nous out YOUMCi MEMeeWs. high eoot of IU Iiik worry ! well ;i ov J.nK iiuli k liinehenns on tlu- rpol I aofipoae the tnombori wo wail: , .i'n. ut with their iuin.i. in t ti,. 1 .!,. I ir iIm sii round the "can" posta an III, wire on, s Who got to tile (hop illy and made their bSTgglM brforn :i.e luburban crowd ruahad aiumt; then afterward IMy uoi rinv tnere to watch the fun 11 hit, and, like a woman doeoi step to in., counter from' Uaia to lime to match an unusually tempting "Ka n away fiom uii ii , a glower - mbori iiosi.i I .i.ii" a., iu.ng !,.ii . .ind ihlnfn ip like buying love fort get thion hi-iper 'f . no t.ik. tin m It, duxeint Tlierefon, tin. r! dier 1 ., 1 are th" more you get, and then hi maku sornori In 4 tilings. (I say. I d I k. to ru.il.e a eOTMf ni Parr) froi k ami in relllon'a fui! 1 here'i on thing wMn you M Vork Mn beat us women, and thai In in th" money lending line, Wn n we haven't any money to buy bargllM will are juil have to WMplngly lake the train hour?, empty Mngodi or "is have it Cha lad to " Kluiid- and we don't ready tleri do 1 it ,i often as hMboadi pi"- I tend At ii" Stock Ksohanga you loon J io havi i" ipli to tend i moni) right j iheri on t in- ii it 1 in. lender w h point ltd out t" me A tail, ihuinlsh num. ! wiui narrow ghouidcn, walking about i iMth li s band! risaaed behind bin), 1 I think tl. 1 a ' ' illy g" at Idea, -ind jihey ought to have ., man I'M thai la laomool 1 Now Ifork itorei MONCY LENDER lR0ABLY WOMANHATEH. I I ni afraid Ibal P'nt!' ar . a I womai'eheter, Ihougn, Iwi lues 'iw 1 y wo .Lit, t j j .111 , alt. n i ui t , wavi 1 la o "i. q . to nicely, meaning to ask h 11 to gtep up 10 thi bejeany, vherg 1 h a, and in..! ig' lot a loan, mi he ion ,1 tn .old shoulder absolutely. BjaSt I . . 11 n It ,i,ad me mad, 1, i-g.M' I w.nt out tlml n uroi.ig villi ni any n. .oci , n y purM, and down Wall itreot way I saw tiulti Mti "f thing! id have loved t buy. lie ai.Na.'H tiki that! Win 11 a te 9-U2i EMI -fte floor T 1 oo rW e-A w,,n nr... '-p liLOb J I iooi m org ' 11 m J '"I ner iii.h 1, rare si,,, uiatsyi iittmm I a. roes Itttlc IhOpi that havo in.- most atsractlvi things There art lovely sta- ttoMrs' HtoruM and haMrdMhery shops 1 dosrntown. if there an two ihlnw Hat attnSOl me It's stationery and tie! ir. London 1 can never go down to Ihi Olty without ependlng a good many - nil iikk on inaa. nllnn ROOttWear and fanog note,ap, r, not forfeiting pretlv OOtersd aeallng wax. lis the autn.. irtlng in I'orla round the llouim I'iti li different from London ind New York m one raOPoct, IMugh, betuae In tna etroetl mm lie gtoeh NMhange I hers dwell nil Hie wliol"en!e mlk and stiiiu hOUOaO, hh Will um oaSbeoigjOyy anil til.e- ' mini; men li.ints, and IhStg are, IbjOM tore, ,ilmot an m Uiy wonioii ami wl ih round the Bouroo UH Ihi f! 1 men, you don't mo many oomM dosfntows lure or in London, Hut at Dm MOM time, in ail three MtteSb tb abopplng atmoaphira In IM mm' pu t oi u, I town tt tin (ami Hi. lit iteevM and I" ' PUSH I SHE OVERLOOKS TMF CANT rjKir.ADt in 1. io, yo 1 .,.,! w:g !".' 11 faeg, hard atreet w houl Ireidlns on the SUt - let- nun limit, II.- aeeme to i, 11 11 In re. or ta n tun vou , ,,,Ve .... 1 . ,. , , u 1 nawavrs n. sin .,,.,w ,nr, ,,..mi,:, , )n ,,,, ., .... hind i, IR eUpi 10 'mid voir sirlrl si . un in leather 'IIM for I your f lalo-pen, In pendli penknlvci , , ,s. wl tv pins. eoUir I itton land all lorta u UUli Hunts litai cowi In oandai. aaaS jaaas-ssaa. I pmaH 'sSje- "siMsWSeaMByOaWaBaWaWaWa LasMl aS t .nn asjra Rngtiia mmgh 1 Hon 1 those k 'itti i iiui', liaiita, for ihwr hM- , bands hsvi no isi use lo foraal to bay 1 their collar buttoni from them! Hags I you notlei 1. . ar N Vork no n, 1 lint a WORMS eimrily eMfl icmemhsr to hoy , olliir billion.- for In r wuSHer-liair'.' It's a fact, She'll get htm anything from a safety raaor to lUipcndorei ihe'll even Irv matching a ln 'ri' eltara from an old stub; HOT ltt a ll) fiOL recall tie fact that whai ! WltMS SMSI la a card if eoiinr tuitions' TalMng of otock rXShangM, hoWoVir. i,. n n laklliK off their '..Us niul lay ll's tn I'. nia 1h.1t ... : get the beet li ng 1 nam a out o o.oKciouoli ilg of the fUSSy way nun do bualnaaa 'tl, if When ,1 visitor a-sa Ihi HtoOS Viri Mn Mt "ut under the aWSSSSI of WSrtliaRge, ae 1 lewt fritu t 'ie gallery, any oM ol ih many nttit cafa iimi it look! mere 1 an a gMegd Mgd b.u abound on liie I I . i r . do la Mount, uito . . .1" L. .n ." 11. its on tie- .waliii Idem tunVbllllS Ug and down the ledSX at, nil Ilia fle .hone Bggtkgi hal aUMP alopo of me Itoggae luirnaa MO on in 1 illlnga a en M - i.il brokers mr. el. poll lag Uk 1 in imeo ami featleii- 1h.1l rlghl ') hiv a lltlla plStform luUi.g IIM seswM) n un do th' yailtes to theinai hata piled nwpienoeo nnd pail b ie, all light loo, OnS'i you?), a I over Ihi at on Moor, in n Mting day t'e a partkrutarip 'a ,. pi MSnt way of h.,i it', tf an houi 1 f it n inn. l':o gMf WretOllM iri not ind du Ip, no oils 1 are sin,. SI l ... ;. ., 11 I n ... . lit I under youi . '' awoing, feeling comfy 1 Shd hgppj .'ind oh! " VOItly lupi 'tOf lo lie- nigi ma." 1 ! I tlu to ho ', 1 ti P'dl Into .. i- f. iii. ilous stata I fiver a few aharea ami ihiita that atan - ernl i ... 1 !. uulMMid 1 .1 T.. reiurn to your own D t birtltmlai It Rlcllgligv, dear N- .v I'prk, I gm afrshl you are tatii t umiJ . u men. Ti,- ,11. hiar .,' hupping liei aiid IHgttW Mil povi aov4l SO IM door wouldn'i hi? tolerated in a woman 1 tore n, Ih,. a , I doSfl H.e why voa are so pi oud of thai Boor, eltborl lm ini,. 11 Im'i much to boael about 1 iinv ws y SSl plain wood, iwm even f pnlllhedi 10 a in. ol um Nlorea .i hav 1 lovely puniueiry aotk. and at any rat 1 1 'a gtg Ira waked and MM Imiklna. . are n'H ".,1 H't 1" Rave men uolng (aruURd with watering puis to lav the dost "oil d"' And then i lie war vnu IhroS onr luila MOSMtdl lAM't you aver lo thorn, Vou Sfouidn'i hod I'al'hllll I iijit u.n th.nkliig nrougly I a I line' forbnpi U10 S'uoa Ka- KhosgaiM'taatariatollt Now 1 think Sboul 11 further UteVM le.lt if! more school "i meutel arHhgiotlg That n ui. ! oeoauai for Um bugs niiek- bngrdi tie 1 havs on the salbJ and tin nlvi scliauloiiietor.iooksng old gaiillo nt 11. up .a tuv g.i ivy woo a, "pa order' Wi,, e. hgi 1 it nw 1 understand t u pMssnini al im ihorp irtsi ami yslpi "io . .-in a from lints 10 ttOtOl It'a Nrine msj once vou set your brols to I work and , tn,' h,u,g of .t trkOM uu nbSfg tllhVl kvSJ uimg . ou the Iila 'kboordh are no doubt goid coa-dui-t tiMiika for Ih right a'dutioiia in the IU1 m the flavor Moor boya have done in Shelf heads' The ottee w.10 nra walkuia a out doing ooMSM -w the gggtal and iXtia-lMrlltgrnt poptia who gut their prblena done early, then they hang around, SaaaUhe, mmm Iks laisataida get Into trouble and gloaU ovar thorn'! It took rM some time to aWSM the Idea' I'm adiaianl te aay. not bis I'M gut ll III .oani; on to It! Now I understand sboul thi hun h of craw, worried 1 oilng men outalda on tae 1Mb oeio.e lupvd in toialliM- noder the surveillance of an nltlur' f gje! thev were 1 lie very haoll . benaved tut!! of Uie I' until anjl tr y got sent out of the boM a" " pWRlaSWlMf ! They war lucky It aaani rain no' gom of t.aww Uiuki d aaWiUilg Bud lUanet It and wet making all an-ta of mcnnlng gvetirwO (ft el to.. asWdoWa; if I u re the nits ..bl school moe tor in the abulteag 1 altgnM worry was- raaiaM of the 'curb srowd were uuiie nice und uuiet mi I .uu,. Moraiuf oal their p,o.lsius 1 In their MckOt bookl wita a certain g I Igld PI titan it did one good t" MO I 1 1 u'u -h lliey'll net luuiirn and be tak a bs"k if they psrgevoMl I was Very, rer Interested In It all piii- .', Vork. and I think tn. groat 1 1 Id :.s Md maeble ia .1 - with a I tae lloV iton down town are wonderful. ir 1 i madi many mistakes in in k.i, I I.e. - understood your gnat Sto g 1 you will forgive lie, wont youf- leMOM, after all I'm only .1 .nor, LgnorOOti Am o-KrencO heathen! assy-