A Page of Comics
Sketches and Stories
Fun for the Home
and the Ride Home y)
4 8f MATTER POPt"
By C. M. Payne
I VSrftAY THAI
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THAT IT SofTT OT
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AXEL COULDN'T WAIT TO BE THROWN OUT
CSpyrlsM. Itl4. bj TW ha PsMlsklss Co.
ml Nr York EtcbIb Wortl).
fAtummm. flmavI ay SANK.
TUG MuNfeftY TO ACT TODAY. i
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AMD fOSE FOR MIS mows
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fcxPECT TO CA r tow
ANO YOU COME. INTO THE.
ROOM A (SI) 5 IT DOUOri AT
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BiiTLEW RirsMC-S IN
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BUT ftf BANE I
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THAT IT! That
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WHAT'S THE USE?
WE IMtS HOMMT, VNEN
I COULD MK VM) TO BE
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BOBBIE, HIS DOG AND THE DOGCATCHER
By L. W. Ford
it W.I WtMPtH WHAT
To JOO f
l(W, I W0Wt WHAT YUMC
Tm JOO I
MOLB STILL 'NlffTY - Wt IL SCARE
TMt life out vr that ho
He's JorocKiAt Kotl J
WHinf 1 ope nue uoorJ '
You jump out j
(!7 Tt rluMd, In the East Malurla Kvr
Bk nllo IntalllBenm. Mrs. Jenkins found
Bk l9U "r" ttUrn DUnbr 'vim h Is i
WL srtiAlVS nrlntU In the local suburban now
Ji J J . .-4 1 1 M M M J . M M . J .4 J jH j jl J Jl .1 Jl Jt . j j ,H jl
East Malaria Fires Are Only
Another Excuse for Tangoing
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H RARING the Era alarm whistle
repeatedly blowing from the
soap factory, Mrs Jenkins and
Ear CuesU, Mr. Jarr and the Cackle.
, weflir ttrla, kept oquatlnf the Ions
abort blasts and could not for
MM deride whether the num
sonaded was seventeen, seventy
from the aociety news and
EftEttO Usta of ludjrmeau se-
varteua Nation ts -of
I'lnaoH In th I-,,., lnliirl l'.vinlUK
I " -- It., f imIiImi SiiiimS lh
tire ularm number which Is dally
prlntod In the local suburban newspa
pers under the head of "Items of Im
"If It'a forty-seven, It's at the cor
ner of forest ('ran avenue und Mc-
Olnty street McOlnty street Is
named after an old Hugenot family,
and not because It has been under
water so long, as the people who can
move away from here say!" Mrs. Jen
"That's right near here, isn't it?"
asked lira. jarr.
"Just two blocks down but there's
no houses there," Mrs. Jenkins ex
plained to ber visitors.
"Oh. I wish It were this house!"
whispered Miss (lladys Oackleberry
to her sister. Then we could run up
stairs and be penned In by the flames
and be rescued by some dashing
"Piffle!" cried the younger and
harper Mlaa Carkleberry. "Any
young man old enough to marry
wouldn't live In this place! He'd be
out In the great world looking for a
wife sjjae u gigi bissj"
"let's go see the fire!" suKKeslcd
Mrs. Jenkins. "It is uvblent that Mr.
Jenkins aixl Mr. J.irr nut In on the
6.41 I mm the oily and went to the
fire. Mr. Jenkins ulwuys comes homo
on the 6.41 und NICVKIl xoes to town
before the I.1Z, so our social position
la unquestioned. Why, wo go with
families the heads of which never go
to the city before the v. 27, and who
ALWAYS come home on the 6.01!"
Mrs. Jenkins suld this with an air
that showed she never associated
with people who went In on any of
the T o'clock In the morning trains.
"I'm so hungry! We didn't have
any luncheon when we left town,"
whimpered Irene t'uckleberry.
"Well, we can go to the fire It's
pear Main street or the whistle
wouldn't blow so much and we can
get some delicatessen for supper, '
Mrs. Jenkins answered. "You know,
I Mr. Jenkins Is a Klre Commissioner
I and la supposed to be present at all
the successful fires. I do hope It'a a
I dry goods store and he will think to
i wear his rublier coat home. I got two
1 beautiful kimonos the last dry gocsls
store Are. The proprietor didn't cars.
bs was present and Insured.
"Wall, las Miry
thing to eat," remarked Mrs. Jarr,
addlnir her plaint to that of the Mlaa
"I'm sorry, my dears, but there Isn't
a thing in the house," said Mrs.
Jenkins. "Mr. Jenkins was to bring
something for supper from the city,
on now ne ruts s:one o t lie fire.
Would you rather walk up to Main
street and get some delicatessen or go
to ine nre ana get me steak and
coffee and butter I askod Mr. Jenkins
to bring from town?"
"Won't It be lost st the Are? the
things to nut, I mean," asked Mrs.
"Certainly not!" replied Mrs. Jen
kins. "All the local Are apparatus of
Kast Malaria nave lockers on them,
so If there Is a Are at the time a train
Is comtntr In the firemen who are com
mulcts may put their groceries and
other purchases In the lockers and go
to the Are without deluy. Mr. i'ceply
across the way got a ride home with
his bundles last summer when the
Pesplys had a alight Are In their
"Well, anything for a quiet Ufa,"
cried Miss Gladys t'ankleberry. "The
whole town must bs burning the way
UVsi wfcUtJi U HswlM."
'That's sensible," exclaimed tlielr
hostess. Mrs. Jenkins. "What you
will Ilka about our Ares In East Ma
laria la that thsy are so informal No
putting on airs Just wear anything.
At Lonesomehurst, further up the
line, they put on BUCH style for
fires It's sickening. As so many of
the Lonesomehurst flremen are Insur
ance clerks In the city they are called
'The millionaire volunteer firemen'
In the city papers. And they always
go to a night Are tn evening dress
dinner jackets at the least.
'We were going up to the new mov
ing picture theatre to-night anyway.
It s a oeautirut utile tneatre, and so
practical. It's called The Elysium
Dream Bijou' and It so built that If
It fulls as a moving picture theatre
It can bs turned Into a garage.
"Ob, East Malaria Is lust ons end
less round of social activity. If this
Is a stubborn Are the town band will
turn out and we'll .have a conflagra
tion tbs dan san t."
And, following thslr hostess's lead,
the ladles all sst out for tbs Are, for
Mrs. Jenkins said she' was sure all
the aociety people would be there and
there would bs tangoing afterwards,
iThc Day's Good Stories
TB teacher of a large school
sent one of her scholar to buy
a pound of pluma from a fruit
vender outside, relates the Buffalo
Enquirer, and as she handed the lit
tle girl 10 centa said:
"Be sure, Mary, before buying the
plums to pinch one or two, Just to see
that they are ripe."
In a little while the girl returned
I with flushed face and a triumphant
! look tn her eyes. Handing the teacher
I the bag of plums, she placed the
money on the desk and exclaimed:
"I pinched one or two, as you told
me, and when the man wasn't looking
I pinched a bagful.'
language more forcible than cour
teous. "Why," said Btevena, when the
other paused for breath, "your dog's
"Mad! Mad! Ton double dyed,
blnnkety blank fool, he ain't mad!"
"Oh, ain't he?" cut In Stevens.
"Qosh! I should be if any one kicked
me like that." Everybody's Mag-aslne.
A Mystery to Him.
THE late John Allen of Farming
ton, Ms., was noted for Ms
ready wit and cutting sarcasm.
One day while walking down the
street he slipped on some Ice and
fell. The Methodist minister of the
town happened to he near, and
helped the old man to his feet with
the remark: "Sinners stand on slip
pery ground, don't they, John?"
"Yes," retorted Mr. Allen, "but 1
don't see bow they do It." Harpai 's
NOT LOVE SICK.
A newly-wed pair, all devotion.
A wedding trip took on the ocean:
But their Joy of life fled
nE they wlshsd thsy wars dead.
WILLIAM J. HTKVEN8, for
years local station agent at
Swansea, R. I., was peace
fully promenading his platform one
morning when a rash dog vsntuisd
to snap at ons of William's legs.
Bts"ns promptly kicked the animal
half way across tbs tracks, and was
im seed lately confronted by Lbs owner,
EE fsEEMtld M AEEpA'WE
EARL A WILSON
HAS LONC POINTS,
CLOTH A STRIPED SATEEN
MADRAS. AND IE THE
j ffjs sstssss swift a mm in sisi nsssa
UtOY'S BEST PRODUCT era.
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