New-York tribune. [volume], March 04, 1888, Image 13

About New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924

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TRYING THE SON-IN-LAW.
BKETCHFaS OF SCF,NES A.ND ACTORS YR THE
LATEST PAJUSlAiN DRAaMA.
agon tue mau lau cvoaattf niMi'KisT or td? TninrtK. i
PatUaVy Februnry 18.
It is truly said thnt Ptris bas a fresh theatrical
ticce to play on cuoh of thc 363 days of the year.
Only it is not in the theatre that tbe Parisians
act it. Sometimes thc boards are in tho Semite
or the Chamber, sometimes iu the Hois, more often
on the Hon le vn rds, and most oflen in thc law
courts. Dame Themis keeps the playhouse most
fertile in theatrical astonishments nnd extrava
l*iiu/a, and this iu the face of priggish j minos,
who arc so infallible in their own eyes. A Gt mian
Ambassadress, on saving intuit, who doted on
theatrical entertainment*, used to put by tho
ninney allowed ber for going to the play, and lind
the excitement that she wanted at les premieres
at the Palais de Justice.
The trial of Wilson and his alleged tout* and
agents for th- sale of thc red ribbon is what now
draws the town, lt is o less dramatic fttlair tliun
tbe t'atTarel one, but a more curious o:ie to siudy.
One sees there a voracious pike among u lot of
pikelings. They have been likened to hawks und
kestnis. But these birds fly high und come down
?with a bold swoop ou their quarry. Thc Wilson
method was cold-blooded, cautious nml all prose.
What makes the trial attractive is thc contrast
between thc situation of the principal member of
the gang and that which be tilled before last
October. He was just as strong U> do as he pleased
as thc late l*rince Consort of Lngland? or peTTaan.
stronger, because he was in Parliament, nnd had
* not in ii of stubborn metal and great condition
like I/ml Piltnerston to withstand. Ministers
came und went, but he was always in place, uud
was really the man whenever there was a Ge*/.
eminent crisis who " sent" for the politicians,
who were apt to form new Governments. Ibo
defence will miserably turn on a point of law,
nnd, like his touts M. Wilson will plead that he
did uot awinille, because the Influence lie sold
Wits not imaginary. It was that influence that he
gave for money, and uot the red ribbon. No
political imssion can be brought into play, and
the accused parties are d' barred from posturing
ns victims of batman malignity. Timon of Athens
could rail nobly at mankind because he had given
men Ihc opportunity to bc ungrateful. But us M.
Wilson thought only of providing for his family,
like " Penchem" in ? The Beggar's Opera." he
did not render services gratis. Nor con his counsel
Insinuate that his downfall was brought about
bf a Delilah. If he could bring well out the
latul influence of woman, much would be forgiven.
Bat Iho connection with Mme. Jane Hading WU. a
prosaic business. She cxi?cct.cd a deal of money,
and when she did not g?*t it threatened to stir up
Mine. Wilson's jealousy by means of the love
letters tbe had received. When these were bought,
afbor much haggling at the price demanded, there
was an end to thc mutter.
The monde wns agog to obtain entrance to thc
eourt, and two boyish looking young barritt* M
w,ie simply belles in barrister*.' nap. and gowns.
None of the co-accused, save the unlucky Minc
Batta//! ino connection of the Italian statesman),
wer-- at liberty. 'Hey came early to the talala
ile Justice for the convenience of counsel but kept
out of court as long us they could. Behind tbe
Keenes tiny wandered luther and thither, li. Wil?
sen utterly unmanned, nnd looking frightened und
.skance. He always hud a furtive eve and a
poked forward head. Since the scandals named
nit,-!- lum w, n* qptartbed in October be baa aged
iintl run down. Save the cys, the physiognomy
was unmoved. It is not a taking count'-i tl -
The board is reddhab, tbe bali cut like a skull cap,
nnd tb. nose, which wns twenty years ago thc
shills' of Mary Anderson's, is now hi_rii at the
bridge ;uci nearly aquiline. Th. two
furtive cys arc get close together. His
coat is no longer the short l.nglish jut kef, but a
tv-edy |aiiletot which hangs on his shoulden ne if
on a |acg. This shabbiness is dismal lo behold.
i\'.'.at a depth of domestic misery it reveals! The
.kinma*1 thc gnrmeni loilow tb. d'rooping-forwurd
Inclination ol ihc wearer*, flgnrc a., he hover.
up and down eon tims, thunning uld nequniutauoa r
when ho secs them. He await, a private word
from the tipstsS to Intimate when be must enter.
There is no such callman for Mme. Batta/vi. Bbe
was token from a boam of amst by a couple of
police agents in plain clothes, but t-imr.d thc
Indignity of th. jail garb nnd the dock, and taken
to sit on thc form fronting the benah?there to
await M. Wilson and the other co accused.
Kilter at length M. Wilson, followed at an In?
terval of some moments by Hebert. Ribeaudcail
and Du Breuil. All eyes were for af. Wilson, nnd
for lum only. He wns of ethan patoueag,kept bia
bal over his eyes as he tottered from a private
do r np to his place, anil leant on his .Munni'.
nun. I dare My he ha. secretly equaled things
will Mme. 1'attazzl, with whom he exchanged
lome words in a cool but, not unfriendly manner.
6he is a vulgar und a sharp bourgeois., albeit ni
Ol the noble family of De Corgouillc-Valois. Sordid
cares and low nuinbcr-oneisni have given a vulgar
cast to bel fae.", 'lhe suiirk ol vanity play, upon
it, and this imssion shows itself in her sp-cch
when she tries to show that it. was she who gol
l,i .'rand ilc-orotcd, and that she had real influence
ut the Klysce. Just here ber counsel seems to
wish her tongue-tied.
M. Wilson is long in thc shank and short, In the
bin k beam, His knees ns he sits arc far out from
the trunk, nnd his head (now lia red) bent over a
portfolio full of papers. The French word for
the black Leanne! contrivance is serviette, -ai b
by the live, Carlyle in hi-, history <d the Revolution
translated towel, and drew striking conclusions
from tho men of the Convci.tion bundling away
in their hats waste j tape rs in "towels." The
boots nre seedy as the cat. M. Wibma has a ,,1 ?rj
way ol drawing in his heels nnd turning in his
toes. Is his reputed dandyism of form r times
a myth ? No. I remember him In the .pend
thrift phone of bis career, when he wns slim, of
on nristoeralie air. and like n young curlier ol
some Valois king, who had found his wnv ni,
the nineteenth century and got himself (beaned
by a Bond-st. tailor.
The machinery for Miling M. Wilson's Influence
was newspapers. Bclloo. the money changer, vu*
advised when negolialing tb. purchase of a red
ribbon for his button hole tha! he could have his
portrait published for $10,000 in one nf M. Wil
sons journals, "Lc Moiiitur dc l'E\, posit ion."
A manufacturer wis asked to have his biography
piv.n for fl5,000 in the gat paper. Others
were told that M. Wilson ran many papers, and
that the purchase of a large number ot tba lei or
many subscriptions to them would bc gratifying
to him. The subscriptions were paid to a con?
t'd ntinl secretary, liibeaudeau. to who.'ii touts,
male and female, brought candidates for deoont
tioii. No ma-ntion of the sums received was Blade
in ellice books. Mane, of Monaco, " subscribed"
fL'u.OjO for sharos in ? lett lMitc rru nee," a
sgrorlbless country sheet. E. C.
TUE CHAMPION HEAR STORY.
Prom Tht Kingtton Freeman.
"Did I ever tall you feller, alaoiit ide eieiiln' ad
trent uro 1 onci heil wah a Mg she la-ar ?" a-h ?,) old
Paul < lay'011 a mehi or two attn ut a party of vitter*
erotitoi a Kondut)' groesery store stove. " Dil n't o'i f
1 kan'! eg/wily tell the year, but li war. when I lived
In Hie Kit'-hil Mount in*, afore enny of 'em big boOldlB'
ton alt woe built an' alon; i-aili-oaxls fcuu' their way
thru the fig hills In thou rlays I wur. bu asnlen-d taM
be-st arni (lamest hutitor armin' our neighborhood. If
I ia s.y ll myself, gi when Netv-Voik ii .ip- kum nj'
mart lt bani tiu-v ailu- used to ?v?k tat -.ld |**nl 1 lay?
ton. Win, dav while out hinitlii' I hum acrost a
stump of rrlial must laev bin a regular whopper of a
chestnut tiat oiiet. The stump i-tud alaoiit tweaty
f'-ot high, an wur. ?<i thick armin' Uial 1 coiildii'i i/,t
Ui.v anns an.un' lt. My a'teoslvir, was uti i.v Iv,i to
the stump by he,ni,' a strange noise at the rout of it.
1 cai,- up my e.in' that I would I livest I aviate an' find
out what the nol*e wiir.. Ktaridtn' my gun again a tie.
1 kl 1 nibed lo Hie lop i;f Hie t-tuuip, which wa* holla-r,
an' Inked down. 1 koulii dl-klver inlblri' si I ? it n.y
feet In the hole an* let myself down my Indi length
li see If j k< niel touch bottom, wlch I ko'ilrtni J Bat
a* I wat soot to 1.. aw myself up. tho edge of tho stump
where I had hoi 1 give way The st ump wug rotten
at th- top an' I ,,ughter bev knower! botter'en to tru?
tnyaolf on lt, arc l cussed inysaif for being such * cen
sames! foo! 1 wont whl/sin* down tho holler hole an'
fell on si met hi.r soft, wbleh I dlsklvored wut a avouple
of cub bars. T.,u rubs wns low young lo hurl ma,
but Ihev set i-p ? di im; whim ii' groul and I ly lhat
aitracked the ?Menshun of thy* old she bar wlch wu*
arouir lukm' lei some) lin' to est.
"lYetiy sim ti I hud s acralcliin* on the outside of
tata atuuip and 1 knew lita critter wu* klliiibliig to tha
p. All of a raddlnt tho l'ght at the top of the stump
ns shot out an' I knew The old devil wui komln'
iwn tbe boiler tall fust. I pulled out my nuntin'
life an- waited till the bar wur. within irarhln' die?
men, when I grabbed the kniter bv the tall with won
tn' an' began stalhin' lt with the knife in the other
?n'. Every time I etabbed I give a yell that would
ssanee a Komancne Injun, lt made my hair lum
.iv lo heat that var-tnll veil back, lt mured ko with
lin snd rage that the stump trembled. Talk about
?llln' thmu a tellyfone, you oughter have heered that
ir In thc holler. Jus' how I wur. gu.n' to net out
' mv perdicks>rment I didn't know, but I k 'pt on
alibln' an ycllln* like a Urn , an' kepi a ?l?rht hole on
io bar's tall. The krltter wur. so mad that lt spit
blt.- laver all over mv h'd. lt made Its klaws move
ir'n' the sbr-e of Ihe atump HUllknUlU then the paddles
I a -teamboat. My welpht told on tba- bar an' lt made
ow *>mi)rfsana toward the inp of the stump. The
?!ck?hun of the bar's kiewa adn the wo..d made the
[.ark* Uv af tbe holler wa? I k- as If a roman aaamol
ur. Skol off tn lt. A --hower of sawdust kept faltln'
awn an' fill to the bottom of the holler, arr the bar
n" 1 kept nearln' the top. The har Ailed the holler
ith f-te.ini from Its n tstri's. which reade nie ii'ilomi
irtahle, but I Stabbed an' retied I-oder an' ever sn'
ie t-awdnst that fell f'om Ihe 1 ar's ktaws kept .tltln'
p the holler "nch bv Inch lin'tl the top wur. reached
n' the har and 1 fell ont on th" gronn' twr-ther.
ma so eihnu-tered with tlie etercl?e In the hillT that
lav a few loir-nits afore i konld pit up. When I did
fenn' tho bar stone dead. It had Hod to <V t'h. I
nonted the stabs, an' toon* 1 bad rm mv knife into
he krltter thre* hundred an' sc en'een time*. The
!r>de wur r.early wcrn awav. It Ink me over five
ours to git the eosrdOSI ont of Ibe holler th"t the bar
ed scratched from the stump to get to the cubs. I
ed mv work for nothln'. thon?h. fur tbe en's had been
mothered to deaih bv the aavdnst I Inked at the
ld bar's toe nails, an' foun' they hod worn away a
luartor of an Inch."
COM MIT! INO THE INSANE.
SHOULD IT BE DONF, BY JURIES?
IR, TALCOTT TKI.I.8 OF TIIK ONSCT-OXO TO I.KAV
INO II IN LAT WANDS?UKSIItAIULITY OF AVOID?
ING! Ftni.ICITT.
Dr. S. EL Talcott, who ia Superintendent of the
taf Lot-HiO Asylum at Middletown, waa in Ncw
ork the other day. He is one of the leading ex?
erts In Insanity in thia country. Tim Doctor is
mnirnitloeut s'-ecimen of physical manhood. He
i a 6ix-looDT, with generously proportional frnme,
Inrfre head nnd Irng, Oowtng, silken hlaok
?tuskers. Dr. Tal colt is deeply interested in n
ill introduced in tho Assembly on Tuesday, os
nsilly (or the omoliornlion of thc condition of
nsant patients. In talking about it he said:
*"Sh_ bill emanates from a M)'i.*ty formed for
he nlleped purpose of ameliorating the condition
f tlie insane. One of thc queer things a'xuit
his association is thnt its members have never
.ut themselves in comiuanicntion with any nf those
rho have chnrs?e of the insane In the State. I
iave written to all the sui>crintondont_i of the
t..to asylums and find that not, one of them has
teen consulted. Now, persons who have spent a
ifetiuie in the study of insanity and its suriound
ngs certainly ought to know something of what
iws are neeilod for the insane. The trouble willi
mst of thc pioposed changes is that they are
>n le hy persons who have never known whnt it
s to be afllicted with an iiisnnc member of their
iiinily, lind to havo ciisiaiit fear Ihut his con
ition would lc made public. They propoog rn
ii ry trial to determine, whether a person shall lie
ommitted lo a lunatic asylum."
" What objection is there to u jury trial?"
" J lit* principal objection ia that it makes a
ott oi criminal of the allege! lunatic, wbo is, in
net, only a sick person. This is u genera1 public
ITOr. A niau may ho Iii-ane and (milli.ctn ni
eeeaoory for him, yet he may ba in full pOOBOO
on of such faculties as nre needed in his business
nd able to attend to all his ailuirs 'I"ho i re* nt
nv recognizes this mid it is only after an in.-nirv
f lunney and a trial hy jury that tba conduct
1 his ntTaila is placed with trustees. II- does
ot lost-, eillzcnahip by being committed to any
aylum now. He go* theta as a
laticiit. You would not summon a jury to
nd a man afllicted with amallpo-i to the i>cst
ouse. No more should you ) ave a jury fo, a
ii ii sick arith Insanity. It is n c se inr the
nodical outlioritlea to determine. _*ben again,
ti ry trials drag thc family into court The tn ?m
" is toke vi.s for and agnlnsl the alleged in?
ane peron. Animus.ti s arc ingend ted to last
Ike old-time f udo, growing h tt-r aa they grow
ildcr. They hove a jury system ol eotnmitmenl
a Illinois I hnve letters fr..tn eve.-y superintend
nt in the State, saying it works Injustice to tlie
i.s.ni,, it, ii better foi the superintendents, In
o lat as ii relieves them ol tbe responsibility ol
wiging of the condition of a patient* Hut that
s where it ls unfair to the insane mall, who ina ,
?ecover at any moment. Vet, ii be is committed
ij a jury, thc superintendent will be slaw to take
: -,.iisibilitj ol discharging bim il he were
xaninittcd, na in Hus .state, by t.?o pbysieinna tbe
,,i,?j,ii;, i,,ie,ii iii,ui.i j,ni bis own judgment aud
lim ot tue oaylum |*bysioiaus and experts against
Heirn ai.d dincharg bim. lu Illinois witbin a
iiiort time, two worn, n were taken to court, ud
uauvil i uta ni*, smi io Oby tu ua aud sliortlj mt i.
iit.-r died, who were suffering from puerperal
ever iiiui child-birth, ihe exposure ol Um
.rials killed tia m.''
'' What would you suggest by way of remedy
ng th, , react.t li xv .'
?"There are two things that might be profit
ihly dunc. Mon 'ar should be exercised iu pul
ing p is',ns into the asylum*, and tin re _lio,ilil
ie some .lunion mein in g. tiing them out. Bj
li. present laxv t. n physicians may eommil a
nan on the Indorsement of a Judge of any court,
,1 ntv,ni. i would i<)'nn* thai iii "-I i.v such
sue the two physicians be required to prevent
their >vrittt n Mai mrnt of the 'ase In person to
the judge, ii, s would give him the opportunity
lo inquire into the case, if he s.w any reason to
.. ul,i* ti. nones y of tbi ir purrs se. He could
then, if his auapiclona wen not allayed, order the
inquiry ol luuacv arhiob is provided bj law al
ready. Under the present pmcUce a physician
may mer ' comm t.menl papers to s I'idgc lor ap
provnl, by his oflice hoy or any other messenger."
" What about thc diachnrg ol patientsP"
" There should lie a hoard of discharge whose
function-* should be like thnt of a board <>t por
'hms Thev should act in conjunction with the
superintendents and all complaints of detention
improperly should go i" theos. Their action
should he Hool. They should be experta and ap
pointed outside nnd free from nil connection with
?he asylums or 'heir management. That would
be a prudent safeguard to throw around the in
sune. There nre som" provisions of this new ititi
thal are ahsurd. It lo proposed, foi Instance, thnt
it shall be niin!c a punishable ,,;*-, nee nol lo send
all mail prepared by an in an" person Mach of
their writing cannot be -nt by thc mails without
lol Hoi "i the I' still Laws regarding obscenity
Vet this bill allows no discretion whatever, It is
proponed also that all females Insane slnll be
tu- ted Hy i roale physicians, Why thia should
be made Imperative i" nn asvlnm any more than
in the home or social world it will be dlfflenlt to
discover In ournnyliim we allow female patients
the privilege of female m dical attendance,
where ii is requested, So 1 think they do else,
where if there nr>- female physicians within calL
Hut to make it ImpemUve would be unwise."
THE LY! RUMS PLANS.
A V'W l-l.AY nc. Ml!. IOTBI KS,
"The Unexpectedly Innc ciintl-incd micron: of 'Tim
wife.'" said Manager Prohmaa, '? (us neeeooaiily dis?
arranged all my plans. I cannot, of OOO IOO, rej.iiio at
such good fm tune, hut si 111 1 bad hoped to have done
lomothlug moro to timid up a repertory, Now, if i
want to i.ievtit ut.ot I. ?? play. I i hali have to do so
ai a .eries '.I special matinees, i nave oxparlmentad
with one or two, ami have dot. rained on nae that 1
-.hall probably bo stile to present l.vci In tl, ? s ;i-,,,n,
uni lt lt should BasWM my axpnetattooa I may il., lt
for a weak la fcan Fraaelaeo, dining the sommer cn
gagoasOM there Tor OOXl season my OOmpony will
lao snhstaatlally the sumo as this. Thora may ba aaa
or two onaogao, bul tha gaaoral asireci win \>c Idootl
cal. 1 exped to run ' The Wife ' Into June, a:,tl Hen
dose the theatre for the remainder of that BBOOth and
all July.
" Un Aupist 3 I shall Introduce K, II. bothern In a
new coimdj bf BolaSOO and Da Mille they have
already done it.me work on lt, hut th.y waul to bo
away from the bustle of the I heal ie, v. they aie xe;y
soon going doxvn to Do Mille'- country placo In New
Jerse>, sud sjicnd three ni four muniLi OVOf the i ? .
I hey will ba iieilectly quiet dovan dieu,, bating
iat>ttiiii^ to dlaturb thom, ii i- tba same olooo iu
a bleb thoj arrota -Tba Wita,' ami vxo -blab tao) la a
good Kiiicu. I lie ginee will emilio) abo,ir twelve peo
iia, and of Bot bern's grosoni oompanj w?. Ki,an
I naric-a Lisbali, Ucl I,er and UOUB AlTbOt an,I I ? a
laud Hu. k-aione. botbai- I. lu play Hie pail ol an
English swell, In whom will bu conn.med lome al tba
ebie! character!.tim of two or thine ol als fstbor'a
|.rir,cl|.al sm t I s-s The nc-nt Ira at in. Inion
syuai'.i I heall', (lld not allic! am boiluaaa at all un
favorably: Indeed, on Ihal nlt-hl omoi l "p- came
here who had bought tickets for ' The ilonrletta.' ?
A FUTURE FISASOlEll.
Wtttfttld letter to The /...lon ftlnb*.
Just O-Ur thi? lani i hri.tma- nne of mir neighbors
lost s beautiful child xrHh Mailer fever. AHhur
knew him, and uno day we were al arti' 'I io heat
Ai thur exntolaoi "lt was Uki bad ll diud so aoun
sfier <hr, im-, for you mm Hauls CUua wanied his
uiouey on '
-umas.
-Hu.'
GOSSIP AT THE CAPITAL.
JOE" BBOWN'8 -OKORGIAriKE."
THRF.K t'OKQKKSSMKN WHO SKRVRD IK raOs.
TKNTURIKS?Dil) HIS RKB HAIR .tVK MR.
M'SII ANK t?AMKCnOTRf*.
Washiiotok, March 8.?A curious document wm
ihown to me tho other day, which has peculiar In?
terest Jutt now becatiso of the parado of a company
of " Georgia Plat" bolore President Cleveland tbe other
day.
And what, ls the "Georgia nkel" many will ask
In wonder and surprise.
Mell, I cannot answer that question better than by
saying that lt ls a cm ps of soldiers which, during tho
lalo (ivll War, existed In NM lively Imsglnsllon only
of old " Joe" Iirown, at present the sonlor benator
from tlonrgia, and then Governor of tho btalo. Since
then, however, and especially In view of tho fact that
tho President reviewed iho " I'I he" recently, lt nuist
havo niatcrlallxed and thoieby fulfilled ono of "Joe"
brown's fondest dreams. To what uio lt ls to be
put still remains a mystery.
But to return to tho document. It was found
among the files of Iho Kxecntlvo Department of
Q.Wgi. ?nd assigns, beyond tho question of a doubt,
priority of Invonilon to "Joe* Brown. No matter
what others may havo done In behalf of the "lost
cause,? his name must bo handed down hereafter to
posterity as the patentee of tho "Georgia Pike" It
does credit to tho Inventive genius, tho military vigor
and childlike Innocenco of tho "good old man." Tho
document ls dated Mllledgnvlllo, Ga., February 20,
lBoe. I sm able only to give portions of lt:
Tho late revet***** which havo attended our orm%
show the atasoliite nescesslty ol renewed energy and
determination on our par!. We aro left to choose be?
tween froodem at the end of a desperate and heroic
struggle and submission to tyranny, followed by the
ino.si abject and degrauod slavory to wh.ch a pai-rlotlo
? ml generous jacup!v wore over exposed. 6nroly we
r*nnof hesltsto. . . . Whs*, shall bo done In
this eraee-gency 1 . ,
I answer, PMS Ihe " Georgia rilte," with six fret
staff sntl rho side knife, eighteen Inches blade, weigh?
ing abou! three pounds. lent every army havo a
laren re-serve, urine,1 with a good pike, and a long
boavy side knife, to be brought upon the field with
a shout of victory when the contending force, are
much exhausted and when the time comos for tho
charge of bayonet*. When the advancing columns
come within re*oh of the balls let theta move In
double quick time, and rush with terrible Impetuosity
Into the Hoe of tho enemy. Hand !u hand tho niko
has vastly the advantage of tho bayonet, and thos
havlng tho bavouet. which ls Itself but a crooked
pike with shorter staff, must retreat before lt ^"On
tho retreat begins Iel the pursuit be rapid, and If tho
enemy throw down th*lr guns and are likely to out?
run ns, If need be, tkiew down the pike and keep close
at their heels with the knife till each man his hewn
dow. ?t least one of his adversaries*, etc., etc.
And then the good old mart goes on to appeal lo the
mechanics of Georgia to manufacture those "terrible
pikes,* which, " wleld"d by a stalwart patriot's arm,
never fall to fire and novor waste a single load."
It is slmos! Incredible that twenty-six years ago
such tactics sho dd have been recommended by tho
Governor of a Southern fit ate. What has become of
the " l'lliess," or whether the " Tt lies'* that ('loveland
saw In his recent run throuch Georgia tb. other day
are some of the original ones designed hy "Joe"
brown, I am unable to say. bet ll ts) hojicd lhat they
are not now need In any moro bloody pursuits than
that of cutting checso.
Secretary I'..yard ls given to th* use of big words.
Hil s'.ito papei-s contain words unknown lo any (lie?
tinna-',. Ile ls even taapOOMd by many people of
having wriilcn that celebrated mossage of Ihe resi?
dent's In Which lhe oxjirosslnti " Innocuous desne'nie"
occurred. Be tl ai as lt may. his falling In this ro
cnii has frequently furnish-d lil* tot MO! associates
Iii Ihe Senate willi a P''g lo hang a story on. Among
Ik. best stories I remember hearing ls lhat told by
'tSV Vane-', of North 1'arolltia, to a p.a.ty of friends
vii,,, wen- dtseuaslog Bayard's pmnltorltlet.
'? Du you know," sad th" {forth Carolina Penator,
?'what I ata reminded of whenever 1 r-ad one of
I'.rm ber Bayard's offlcltl toitsnaloatlooi to tho Ben
ate r
- No."
"Yon tton'tl Well, I win tell yon. it reminds
nie nf ihe conversation 1 once heard between two
darkeys i
"'.lulliis, ls yon better dis morning 1* said ono.
"' No: I was better yesterday, but I's,.) got ober
Sst,' replied th'' other.
"'Am nam O. hope, ob your dlseoberyl*
?*- plscoliery Ob what I '
"'Your dheobery from de eonvnamtaaaa what am
fetching yon en your heck.'
??' Dal depena, san, altAtigeddah on t:.e pregnant idea?
tion which inplies d- disease; shonld they contmnato
totality, b?- hopes di. .allud Individual won't din dis
'le:,- BO! a*. I iii tfert, dat all el.-jvn?s on the progs
no.iles: and lill net. conn- to I le-,ni, ilere sm no
telling wed,lei ills pusson Will como lo a il.in nt li, na?
tion or odilerwiso.' "
Congressman John A. M-shane, of Nebraska, prob?
ably -.times ih,- vj,,mon of most Western rn-ii that tho
ODlj good Indian i'; a doini Indian. Ile MOM. to huvii
some reason, for this. Ile was telling a group of his
I.,,:, ls tte other day of his e.v] -eriein-o among Ike
ii;,I,ans. Several jcars ago, whlio looking aller his
calli,- ot th" plains, uf WyomiUg tomt hostile Indians
captured Ike future i oagrostasoa and ron oil a gooeliy
DOrt'OB of his cattle. Itcing their ptllOlaTH tle-y coin
polled bin ti) cook for them, and and to add. as lt
were. Insult la injury, Ikey made lum siaogbiot- bia
oe ri rani.) tor tieir benoit,
"Well," sa,,1 Mr. M, Shine to his friends, "you will
scarcely believe me, but lt ls a lac! iii,ti Instead ol
putting mo to tho tort tiro and billing tue by n,, hr.,
,n is their gustom, they Moved nfl nne floe morn.ne
.uni bit me nd my raiile behind, eontemptatlag a
U eleni .sum iv- on mt tnpty stomach. ll didn't taKo
un! long, 1 aMure you, to mote traeln tm olvilttalloa.
Bal what puzzles me lu tho pu,ont day ri* why they
didn't bill me."
"I'i ul,al.ly I boy were afraid of your red hali,"
mildly featured le luggegl Gannon, of illinois.
"Maybe they con, '.-.-il you I bin id ciiaiactor on
that account,' mmnrked tome one etsa.
??oh, neliker lt the Int. reotou, bern broke to
Laird, HObMuUM'g colleague. -Ju my opinion, tho
1 mlians moved nil trerqiltfl Ibey vvoro dis^vstocl willi
Mc-hano'*. c uniting.**
in tim mooral laughter whieh followed Mr. Mc-siume
joiii'-d a.* heartily a, the mat.
"I wouldn't be a bit surprised," saul ln>, "If that
was the mason why they 1,(1 BM biiiiiul. i I,roo days
of my OOOklng WM probably all tleiy could stand.''
A group of republican Senator* werri ill,cu,,ing th.
other ttoj tko new ii i.c, Im Uroly, when tait!, ono
remarked that th,- (allure ioapi>iy the policy of rotaliar
tion, ainlioii/cd by i ongi bm last jrenr, jiIacisJ .Mr.
Bayard In ike posittoni wiien ibo ftaiatissliawi. mst
io ii p,,":ti,-, ol having notklng to eoneaae, wklto th'
otho; baie WOtt tilla to ja tit ai, a?reo.neui to cea*o ike
unlawful borositug <>l our tokes ania by Ptoofllt"
itt.ti.iitlc* In the light of a " conres.ilon." In oilier
vioid-, ii,- Iii i.rv (abut Lodge BCtpsOtsed lt "A fair
' '? wa- ImpmttlMe bccaiii>0 Iho iwo partlow did
nor si it t, hlr.
This ic.-iiiiiYd Senator Cullom of the position In
Wktob au old TuXiirt pioneer lound himself (jure. Ht
wat futitl In bl- totter days ol 1*00.1 lng of Um "good
old tim, si" ref rriag to thc days ol lhe oil colonists.
" Vi hy sir," Ol ti .1 Mad Ik. pioneer lo Homo fi tend,.
? 1 wa, onea ottered a lougno ul land for a pair ol old
boot, :"
" Didn't you take lt P lie wa*. aa* ked,
" No, si, , 1 d.iin't."
'? I'ooi toad, I ie,-hun."
" Why, bless your h-art, slr, lt was Ibe best piece
of iv, i aatdoesrs gras* i>e feet high, a clear stream
Of v.jci riiuiiing thiiiiigh lt, and an undeveloped
?liver iniii'i in ono gorum:''
"Ai.il why In thuiid-r didn't yon malle the trmmt*
" I.,.--iu....," agld the old man, In a regretful tono
ol votoa ? boroutt i i didn't kev. tnt biuia."
ilut ?r-.ii the po-ltloti ex ac! ly of Mr. bayard. He
had nu toots io offer lu trade
'? Wero you ever In the penlientlarj ?" se.me one re?
ma! 1.od to t oograasaun BMeUoridgn, ni Kentucky, lb.
other day.
iie> KenreeUan started, and was on tba point o.
exclalmlng Inmgaaatly, "Mn," when he iMaeatflngkl
i.m.-if and btotblog meriel under his silvery hair
toft bis qnmUonor I. nanni by -atraatlng hastily
vilihtn the precinci, ?* Ml? iUl,A>0 ()f ,;/,J(1 f.w,.ntatives.
ibo laasa question nigh! have been tadi.Mtrl M
Congimimtu william j. s,c),l0 ahl, t0 rjunfjotiman
.lame! li. Mri ic*j-y, ??,rf. f,-?m Kentucky oUo , lt
w,,:!i havo ni"t a similarly evasive reply. The
tito ure graduates of i?iiliei,i|ai lo, ; U..*y have " maele
lissa." They vt ero members nf Morgan's guerilla
biiiel, and weri) ail raptured by 1'nlied States troops.
Mot tresa*! and liifcMiiHl-e woro lodged In tho Obi.
Penitentiary ; Mono In that situated st Allegheny
City Neither, of course, makes allusion to this In
tevcsilng episode In lils career In tho autobiography
contributed lo the I'ongnassloiial Din-ctory. In
fact, Ktono snd lirechliiiiilga do not allude lo Iheir
record In tho wat at all ; IkOBfh Jl.na lost a leg In
action. Mot 'reary, on Hie oilier hand, refers to the
fact thal was lieutenant colonel of tim Illa
Kentucky t'avalry "at thu amata ot tho war."
ll ls uot ofmn that a sing!* Male tau boast of
baring In tho Houso of Representatives sitting three
members who havo all u mada lime" In a penitentiary.
Fly attention ls called to a letter whloh appeared
In "Tho Crltlo" this week, In which tho writer says:
sal y.'-*..*0"--'-* tha Peoplo of this great country
HUI If they know what many of us living at tko
?._ to? *"oll-tkat the legislative machinery
ot too Congress of tho United Mates ls, at times,
put ont of gear and 'mportaut matters, often de?
layed m oonsoqueuco of tho drunken debauch of somo
or the engineers in charget No man has a right to
accept h controlling or leading position In COngteee
Z ,,. Pennlt his mba. for liquor to d'"
mora ito hts condition lo the extent of clogging the
*?_?__ aj? tegUlatlon, '? which the welfare ot
00,000,000 people of the Kopubllo are Interested.
Kvory lino of this paragraph ls tmo. The evil
ls a onn.-fanlly growing one and has boen esreclally
felt within tho last fow weeks. I mention no names;
everybody here knows io whom lt. refers. It ls a
scandal which ls constantly threatening to come to
the surfaco In the public prints, and whloh, In ono
Instance, only by the utmost exertions ol those con
"ernivt wai prevented from hoing sent broadoa-t ovor
the country a j-oar or two ago.
Hero ls an Incident which may, of course, be only
a coincidence, and nothing more-like that, for In?
stance, which D"_de the threo Commissioners of the
Cull nettles march Into the Dlue n-om al tho re?
cent Now Year's NMfPoa and shake hsnrts with tho
1-resldent witta the Marino Hand .mt In the lobby
stinck up tho tune " For ho's the Lord High Ex?
ecutioner"?lt may, I say, be a coincidence merely;
lt ls at any rate vouched for by a credible witness
ns an actual fact which occurred on a recent Sun?
day lb tho t burch which tho President attends hore:
The confrregatlon wore en/aged In rlr.glng "Hold the
Nat," when tho rre.idt.nt marched up the middle
aisle, Mrs. Cleveland at his side, followed by a
loren or more Of reoplo who had BWB-iei lu the
anattbnla tho arrival ol fhe distinguished party.
Ar.d ai they were just hall vtmj up tho al.lo tho
congregation struok u;> ti.e second verso:
See the mighty host advancing,
Satan leading on.
T do not know who .1. lt. Col- ls, except thnt In fhe
Blue nook he figures as Chief of the Old War and Navy
Division of the Pen dun Unman To Judge, howevor,
from tho following order which ho has caused to be
posted in his division, I should say that ho was an
ass, to say no worso, Here ls tho order i
Ordered.
The clerks of this division will not bo permitted to
dtsrnas the decisions of the chief rolailve to the methods
of procedure or other matters pertaining to tho
adjudication of claims. Ho alone ls responsible for
the orders Issued by him. and not the olerlo of the
division, and such 01 deis will thoroforo not be brought
Into question.
Courtesy toward one another ls one of tho most 1m
perta.t. rnqit'ftes to obtain that dtsclplln* which ls
essential and musf be maintained, lt ls boged that
this suggestion will maka other measures unnoceosoiy.
J. B. COIT, Chief O. ff. A N. Division.
It would not ho SW fl laing to learn that Mr. Colt
hud taken his ene from the Commissioner of Pensions,
who. as everybody knows, ls a law unto himself.
They eases won watched; in fact, " two of u bbsd"
Ono of his colleagues In tho Senate said to Mr. Pal?
mer, of Michigan, Hie other day:
" Palmer, I suppose th at beiwoen legitimate lumber?
ing, lumber stealing niel 1-00, tho tluiUor la golfing
pretty scarce la Michigan."
lui- a moment Mr. Palmor looked at hi. friend pity?
ingly and then replied :
".lull to think whal a rnmrnun schoul system wo
havo ami with lt all, a United States Selim.sr to asl
such a question! Why, my dear slr, Ibero ls Umbel
enough 11..W standing iii the Statn ol Michigan to in alie
three board fences, posts and all. flfteee noanti high.
Blear around thc nana, once a year fur ti ft eon years."
That removed the guostloner-a doubt.?at least in Mr
Palmer's opinion, 1 suppose
Senator lierry, of AfhBOIBB. tells lils friends of ?
trial for assault In his State, In the course of which ?
cit.b, a rall, an axe-handle, a knife aud a shut gun WOT*
exhibited as "the Inst rame nts with which the deeci
was (1111111." But lt WM al*.1 shown that the n*s.iiilte<1
nan defended himself v. uh a rovnlror, n scythe, fl
pitch fork, a chisel, a hand-saw and a ring. The Jim
Mr. leery says, rame In Ihe ronFlUSloa Hut they'll
liavo given a dollar apiti e to hue aeon Hil ll?'_.t.
BM WARTED Tn BYOB HOW.
From The Hutton Tranfrtpt.
When orin hegtlM to "po Into society," h" ought tr
have a thorough ooaehlng upon thi* things tha' nee dom
in society, if ho doc- ten. ho is likely to make at
odd a mlMake ai .1 suburban gem inman did, whom
ca5*. h*s rome, bt accident, to th- Listener- know!.
edna. This gentleman settled himself Into the wat
with a friend lb? ol bel day, on thB train coming In'..
town a- d remarked
? I'.i vmi know how tu play dominoes?"
? roll, a little."
" ariah you'd give mn 6omo idea how it's flayed
You se-, mv wife and 1 have Leen Invited tn a domini
party neal week, nnd we don't Know any more abou
th. game than ;. rai koowa about astronomy."
'? A .1, itilrio party, eh? Why. don't iou know tha
thai 1 n't ne- suit of dominoes that i.s Bseaatt"
? Vii 1 W hat IS lt I If- tl '''
" W hv, a tlonilno party ls a sort of a masked hall
and the dominoes in" Hi" mania that, the people wear.'
"Shu: Ymi don't loll mel"
Ihe idea ol fiflv or Sixty people assembled at ar
(?vening paitv, and all eiavely engaged in pl kv 1 ti;
tl .nu:.nv*, waa BO funny to 1h?* person who hail giver
this Information thal li. continued to sniilo ail tin
way Into town.
BORE El Erm has IEBOLBB0B,
From The Waihinnton Ctrl (ic.
Along tlie coors*, of tim river f-cino through Parla
are many lift saving stationl arith the word "Noyes,"
Indicating their eharaeter, pointed In plain letter.
upon them. Lasl summer, when ( ongreeamaa
O'Neill of St. Louis was Iii tho ga^eot of the gas
for a season, ha saw tkOSO sitn.s ovory day for a
iroek, and finally could contain himself no longer.
?? Hy thunder," ho said to his companion, "dM
you ever see anything lll.e the gall of the Kopubllcar
porty f
"What do you mean," exclaimed his friend, lr
surprise.
"Why, look at that name there, and everywhere
np and down the river! It's all rigli', maybe, foi
Governor Noyes to be the BepuMloaa Minister toro,
when the party was In power, but what the deuce
did he wart to advertise himself for on every bill
hoard lem the head waters to the mirith of this
river t It's tacen ten years ago, too, and If Mel nm
had any snap he'll iia'nt nut Noyes's and pat his own
np. ll makes me sick, and I don't know whether
fe cuss the apathy nf mv own party or tho dice li
of th" opposition," Rod the MtSSOUrl statesman said
several lind words and started olf toward American
headquarters.
A SEAT TITTLE DAMP A TOR TRICE.
From Thc rhlcago Trtbtm*.
Colonel Iforrlnon WM the centre of an Interested
group of [Ulnola men tn night Among Hiern was Maim
Orendorf, of Springfield, and he and the Colonel re
lated wllh much 7.ost tho manner In which Henry Cia}
Dean, of Missouri, w-a>- once proston tod from makins
a speech at a Morrison nnrnnono it was in the ow
davs when Macoupln County wats a part of Morrison')
district, anti Mm m'-tlng was held in Bunker lilli.
?? it waa a tolerably loyal eommsinlty," said colonel
Morrison, " ?nd Dean, who waa Under on tho other
side during the war, was not popular there. Ho came
over to mille a speech about how the Constitution
li vi been outraged by the beginning, Conducting, am!
1 In.lug of tho war. The people about Hunker lilli
were hardly Ibo hind to hear Boah addiesies, but we
didn't hrmw Just how tn .shut Dean out. I was n
candidate, and I eonrluded m maha a speech tn the
afternoon anti leave tlc- lown."
" Cut Hist, was nut all," chimed In Major Oreinlorf.
"You told me IO sneali dist at night and talk as long
xs I could I toola voil at your wont I began at
g o'clock and spoke till I'-'. 1 n?vor Worked so hard
in my ufo. Thora sat Dean wonting to apeak, ami 1
knew he was angry heeonaa 1 didn't quit when 1
concluded, at 13 o'clock, thorn *va.s not. much of a
crowd left, and Dean's talk about the Cou.titutlon
didn't hurt lunch."
17? FAILED TO SEE TT.
From The linton Tramcript.
A ladv who ls a llrm believer In the oure of every?
thing by the mi.id. or, rather In the non existence ol
all pains and maladies, has a little boy who complained
of a terrible toothache. Bbb took him te a aoienUat
to be 1 tired, and remarked to that lady as soon as
-he bad entered tho room:
?' Mv hov thinks he bas a terrible toothache, Mrs.
Bc lon USS, and I have brought him to >ou to bo cured
of lt" M
Having brought her attention to the case, Mrs.
Bela ' *i said :
'? Now, my little boy, you must look me richi In the
eye. (A pause.) Now jon haven't any tootha, he."
"Yes, I havo, tool" shouted tlie Iki>'.
Tho selentut Binded patiently, and tried lt over
again.
"You mast look me rl_ht In tho eyes and try to
forget vour toothache," she said. (Then there was
another steadfast pau_o.i "Ah, now, you haven t
any toot hii'he." , .
?' Yes. I boro, too 1" screamed the hoy again.
The practitioner wein through Hie process nm o mort
with f retah persuasion. The boy st-orned Inclined io
bo silent th's time. . .
"Well. I rues, you haven't any toothache now,
my hov." salo she.
" You Ile I" salt! the boy. quietly.
Ile was taken away, toothache and all._
HEADS WE WIN!!
EVERY DAY THEY COME;
EVERY TIME WE WIN
Bleached Hair, Gra^
Hair and Gray Beards
with on APPLinATio.v. nitrvroiinnTo natcrai
(tullin ami. sn a. i-i-; mr .ul.nn. WITliOUT l'<-..._ I
hl.K ll a HM TO IlKAl.rH. HY THO
IMPERIAL HAIR REGENERATOR.
Al Went Tueuty-thud -Street, N. V
MAN'S MODEST OUTFIT.
HW CLOrilEa AM) WHAT THEY COST HIH
0HAX0R8 IK FASHION FOR THE SI'ItlNO ABB SUM
Mitt.?STYI.l-lS RUN TO OOnOKOU-tNTraS.
?-Spring baa come, dear boy," observed young Snob?
lelgh to his friend Do Ruyter, as the two were sipping
brandy and soda the other evening at the olub. "It
Isn't that old Plunder has put down tho prion ot
roses," continued Snoblelgh, warming under his fourth
thimbleful. "And I haven't been reading any poetry
In -The Century.' lint I saw Checkley today on tho
Avenue. Clever old boy, Cheekleys tailor. New top
coat, silk to the edges, rolling down tho front, waist?
coat embroidered, cutaway of one plaid, trousers of
another, the squares as big as a checaerboard's and as
brilliant an a colonel of Highlanders. Han); a man
who will spring such surprises on his friends. Hero
we are wearing striped and thinking It's still winter."
. a. AbVyM'" r,>'urned lie Kuyter, a trifle skeptically,
taken aback by his companion's burst of flueucy. " But
that won't prevent us having another drink, will lt,
bnoblelght"
SHU Snoblelgh was right about the stripes and plaids.
Chockley's tailor and all the other high class tailors
have decided to drop tho popular striped goods for
suitings and push In their stead a great variety of
plaids and chocks. People who like stripes will hold
out fer the summer, perhaps, but by nest fall lt ls
safe to say the plaids and checks will have the Held
entirely to themselves. Apart from this change, tho
freer use of fancy waistcoats and the strengthening ot
the tendency to hire no two parts ot a suit made off
the same piece, there aro few novelties to chronlclo
In men's fashions for tho spring and suimi.er. Probably
moro black cutaways will lie worn this year. They
can be made aa light and cool as tho grayish colored
coats, and look fur more "dressy." A fad this spring
ts to got a black summer overcoat for use with a dress
suit, or for evenings at the Rhoro or In the mountains.
This, too, is made light weight and la a modest and
becoming garmont.
To go Into tho minuter changes in styles, one must
start as far back as tho full dress coat. The "claw?
hammer" for summer uso ls no longer made of broad?
cloth. Wide wale diagonal ls a satisfactory substitute
as far as looks go, and makos a better fitting, oooler
and lighter ooat. There ls no change, of course, In
shape. For young mon silk facings aie used to the
edgo ot the lapel. Elderly mon prefer tko peakod
front, wllh lining only half-way across. Either a whlto
or a blaok waistcoat ls used. Whlto ones aro prefer?
able in summer, but a good wardrobe should always
have a supply of both. The waistcoat ls cu. horse?
shoe shape and has throe buttons. Dress trousers aro
made a utile wider than usual this year. A broad
military stripe runs down tho outside ot each leg. A
whole suit, with an extra white vest, oan be bought
at a good tailor's for fl20 to |1M A few "bob"
dross coats aro still made. Young bachelors use them
for "stag" parties, and they ara round convenient for
dln'ng In about the clubs. Hut after their flat failure
at Newport two years ago, no tailor thinks of ntTertna
them to bis customers except to fill In tho odds and
ecd_ of a wardrubo.
Tho .so railed Prince Albert coat still retains a mod?
erate degree of popularity with stout, middle-aged
men. It la good for afternoon receptions, for walking
and for driving. Vet the outaway answers overy pur?
pose Just as well, and tho youngor men havo almost
unanimously discarded the heavier frock coat. Ono
sort of Prince Albort, tho single --roasted ono, mado (n
grayish materials wllh truu.ers to match, ts still In |
vogue, however. Thia is need for aooonlng or for
wear on race days, and tho outfit ls completed by a
h'.nh White hat. The black, dont lc breasted ft-ock coat
ls out ln:;ii this spring, and shows nothing of thu 1
waistcoat. Wllh tho black coat Dahl plaid or cheek
tronsors aro used. A frock suit either gray or black, i
costs about if.loo.
Por half dress nothing seems able to shake the hold
Of Hie cutaways. Tho three-button coat ls ibe bettor i
model for summer, though tho four-button one ls com
lng into favor again. The tondoncy this year ls :
toward rolling fronts, cut much lower. Sumo of them
show tho silk linings as far as tho button holes. All
sorts of light colorod stuffs aro used, as well as thin
dark goods. A waistcoat to match should go with !
tho coat, for uso on cool days, lint all sorts of fancy
waistcoats may bo worn with either a three bu none e !
or a four-buttoner. Wide plaid and check trousers of
odd patterns go along, the tendency to novel combine- !
tiona running to tho extreme this glimmer. The re
suii ls ia un it guim iii variety and an apparent inex?
haustibleness In one's wardrobe. The fashion malters
havo also planned a novelty In ihe shape of a five
billion coal, rolling back so far, however, that only
tte top buttonhole can be comfortably used. Th"
Ililli cutaways aro a trifle les. expensive thau heavy :
winier ones. \ coat coals about fftO. With waist- ,
coat and Irooaota the total foots up about $-iO.
A cross between half dress and business dress ls the
three-bul ion, ono piece cutaway, of rough light, goods
wllh patch breast pockets and side Haps. Cheviots '
are used for tliesa coats. All other business suits aro j
I, .!,!t* sack fashion. With a sack coat, as with a out- ?
away, a fancy waistcoat and an odd pair of trousers j
may be worn. Sacks aro looser this year, with wider j
backs. A hOOtneee or loun^ln^ -ult will cost from
$i>(? to $70. Thc plaid and cheek pattorns this spring
ere gorgOOU eunuch to malle any one feel that ho ls
?rotting his money's worth. It ls the *am,< Way With
the waistcoats, Which run from pure white to com?
binations In embroidery or all tho colors of tho spect?
rum. Al! waistcoats are cot lower than usual. Mime
have buttons sowed on, and some adjustable OOM to
be taken out when the nl'-co coes to laundry. Ten
dollars' ls a good atlee for an extra waistcoat.
The only ovorcoat that will bo worn much, tho
tailors say, la the ? Chcsforlleld." a loos-dy-l'itllng,
short pattern, with open fronts lined all the way to
tho odj-os. The materials used rang" from wide walo
WOretedl to plain grays In wonted! and Venetians, j
Ihe covert coat has no silk facings omi ls made with
B croat supply of flaps and scama. It ls about thieu
Inches shorter than tho " Chesterfield." A Ugh! ovor
coat ls a necessity at any watering place. Tim makers
?oem to think .io, at any rate, for they keep tho prices !
np In the chilly neighborhood of $70 and 8W0. Thora
Bro few ehangoa la riding, yachting and tennis suits, i
Trouseisj are ust d instead of knickerbockers for tennis.
Blasora and lacheta cost from $10 ro $uo. made to ;
order. Tho boots are the most expensive part of a
riding outfit. They cost $15.
Tho high white hat will come ont strain with the
eoeehing Benson, bm its lease nf Ufo is always brief I
und precarious. The black silk hat ls pmferablo on |
nearly every occasion. Each hat costa $?. Eight
weight derbys, gray to brown In color, are sold for
BOBBiee wear. Thejl have narrower brims and shorter ,
ciowns. Straw hats will (loutish In tho country, but I
look out of 0lace in town. They cost generally (rom I
6-1 to $4. fn fashions for shoes, there seems to tie a
reaction apalnst the, use of patent loathers for street
wear. Tlimo ls no known excuse for wearing ovcr
galtei-s In tho summer season.
The furnishing goods dealers always have somo
novoltitson hand. This year they aro following tho
general Wlft toward rather striking personal decora?
tion. The colored hhlrts, however, outdo In brilliancy
the plaids of tho talton' shops. Must of them are
mado with tho collar all of a ploco. Nevertheless,
white collars and cuffs may be worn with striped shirt?
fronts, or tho reverse, billi underwear ls popular,
thong! cosily. Scarfs are height, and seem a little
broaden Both four In hands ami mado up ones ari*
worn. Colton turn over niue li the samo, and aro no
hight tt. Shirts for evonlng wear are mado plain, or
embroidered, or In pique. Nearly all havo three but- I
tons, thongh one stud ls senn oftener, perhaps, than '
two. A singlo stud, lt ls sometimes said, ls Ihe rulo j
In nvery American city but Now York. As to dress
Uaa, every ono has to settle for himself whether to tie
his own or buy lt mado up. Tho first method ls In
high credit, bot ltd remits aro often unhappy. Than
Id an Instructive story now going tho round-,. In fact,
of a venerable, bald headiM mau around town, who
dropped In about midnight on a quiet Lenten enter?
tainment last Monday night. His hand may havo
l>een unsteady that evening as he put on tho final j
touch- At any rate, his tie wandered around toward
his ear aud there dangled its tip, acrees his shoulder, j
" Poor oltl dear." murmured a plain spoken young
woman, scarcely out of earshot. " He must have haa |
a stupid limo up ai tho ball, coming away so carly."
nOW THE OLD OESTI.E.UAS WaS PLACATED.
From The notion Pott
A friend of mine related to me last nlcht his ex?
perience lu reconciling a testy old fellow lo tho mar?
riage engagement of his favorite d-unliter. My In?
formant being a discreet and benevolent character
and Intimate with all the persons concerned, was per?
suaded by the yoting people to Intercede on their be?
half. He undertook the task with no lltllo hesitation,
and the toceptloo which hts ovortures met waa not
calcnlatr-d to raise any hopes. He tiegan by repre?
senting to paterfamilias tho exceeding cleverness of
his would-be son In-law and the brilliant future which
certainly Iles before him. Th's, however, produced
not the least efTe'.t, and he sure- d ?<! no better when
he fell back upon the young man's flue moral mi*l
liles anti solid worth. At last the potential father
in-law exclaimed: "Now, -, yon have told ti.e a
lot of Stuff In praise of this fellow who wants to marry
my daughter?Ve honest, and sar whit them <s to bo
said against him."
Hoing thus taken In flank, as lt wara, the family
friend a ridiculously conscientious p-rson, admitted,
with some hesitation, that tho matrimonial aspirant
ls rather unpopular, that his manners are not pleas?
ant that he ls supposed io lie sullen at times, etc.,
etc' "Ilunil" Mid th) old gentleman, prloklng up
his ears, "hal he many friend.J" "No," the go
between conf'ssed. "I am afraid not." "Well," tho
siern parent declared, unbending at last, "I don't
know but what Fanny may have him If she likes. He
ls evidently dlsagroeable enough, but. In my opinion,
the klud of man .hat you describe makes a pretty sato
husband. Tour Jolly, popular men are always spend?
ing other people's money and devoting themselves to
other people's wives. Fanny ls a sensible girl, and If
she wants to marry this young tollu* I won't stand
In the way.*
IT WAS ROT '?ORSTREL.''
From The Botton Pn*t.
In my own neighborhood a washerwoman's daugh?
ter, about fourteen years old, refined for ?_.- couts per
dour, for two hours each day, to wheel nut a child ti?
ll* little carriage; she did not think lt was "gontssl."
bhe was seen soon after walking down thc siren*
leading her dog; and this, too, while the girl's poor
old mother wai begging tot washing al 16 couta an
hour*
AYER'S
Vita Niiuva Confection^
FOR COUGHS, COLDS,
RELAXED VOCAL CHORDS,
ALL DISEASES OF THE THROAT,
Invaluable to lyrte and drsrnatie artist* and to publtg
speakers; will rslleve th* hacking cough so trying M
consumptive* and vlotlm* nf Bronchi tia A sped flo toff
Beaatckaeia* and Nausea arising from any cause.
Tb* surprising success achieved bf th* Toni* " Vita
Nuovs" Ka* prompted nisiiy sufferer* from the sbovt
named rn.ladi.-s to request Mrs. A TER lo prep*!** a
lozenge or confection, which eeiuld be put up in a ama!!
package and contain all th* virtue* ot ? VIM Niki va".
aa rerjulrod tor throat and lung dis-e***.
Mrs. AYER, I,Aa. after long experimenting, eompoaad
a c iifrctioii ot highly merlletiiavl and *v>thlng guru*,
Inti, which art Ineorporated all ths heating .and toni.
prop*rU*s if ?Vita Nuova" Th* vaia* of thi* caa*
ff-ctlon over a sugar loren.* la i-esdlly **tnpr*h*ad*dyi
The gum di lani ves slowly, and. from lu very nature,
adheres for a much longer Ume to th* luflamed liam,
or diseased membrane, thus Increasing th* effect of tha
medication, while the gums themselves aid la tailoring
tho diseased **ct!on to health, snd quiet tho liicaa*s*vnl
deidre IO cough, so fatiguing in bronohlUa, and th* sera
Uirost snd cough produced by the soum ef tabacco to
any fora. Th* action ot th* "Vita Nucv*"' eon*
faction 1* Instantaneous; no Inflamed rtlaxstlon of th.
vocal chord* or muscles follows. Public speaker*
suffering from hoaraene** will find the vol ne almcxt Im?
mediately r**tored to Ita full itrength and volume by th*
o*u of the confections, while to dramatic and lyric- artists
SS WOll SS persons who BIS COnajMSliei ttl spes?t. Or UM
the voice often In public, they will prera Invaluable.
They are easily carried about, and pos**a* incalculable
advantage* over the ordinary enugh drop or sugar lounge.
They contain no opiate, are purely vigetable, and guaran?
teed free from any form et Ipecac, .'rle*. 60 ssnts pst
box. For sals by sll drag.lsi* sad deal*!**, and by Ut
natnutacturer and pioprletor.
HARRIET HUBBARD AYER,
62 and 6i 1'AltK aVI.aCK, N. Y. I
_<?*"
NEEDED; POCKF.TS IN STREET DRESSES.
Froi l The Ditton IDralit
Jr li a itirprlio to M. that women who constantly
. ronl7.e tho street car* should maka iboinseivet
as uncomfortable as they do by not providing small
change for their tares au,! keeping lt wlieie li can ba
easily reached. Whilo tha? present stylo of abos.
ciintlnuas and tailors roMOl. uoiiwnua to a women's
aeed ot pekots, tho simple Mattoe ol patin,; the cons
ductor ls fraught with misoiy tor her. Men always
have a quantity of small coln tuc neil ai?mt in a .*i, oat,
and trousers pockets, and lt ls one of their enviable'
iVhts In fe m. ni no ev m that they are able lo buy art
nvenlng papor and reward the Most End company,
In ths most crowded oar and In the highest sea, without
turning a hair, or ovon a snmei-sauii In tho p*s*?n
pre* laps. How very dlffercnr lt ls willi a ninan.
t-he never trusts herself to BSBJOktM a newspaper at
thoso critical moments. 8ho knows what wantl en
suo. As to hor faro, lt micht be truth at tlies butti,in
of a well, so far a., iho difficultv of extract!,*n ls con*
corned. Doo*) she carry a shopping ban' Every
Boston woman (loos; tb.irefoi-o, vt hy ask tho Bjuatfl*
tlont In this lian;, among fifty other tklOgS. ls ter
puree, and to fish lt out, open lt", bold her muff, booki,
nnraett, uMtoalto ami mvernl intmr triiie,. trklto ai
the same time she grasjis tho strap, ls a feat vvhicli
rivals the double trapeze act. 1 havo seen women. In
order to do lt successfully, put dimes In their mouf hs,
bile their muffs, and tread on other people's tnei,
all at the same Instant. Now, s little foi et nought
would obviate all 11:1, awlivv arsines*. Hut |t seems
Impossible, wbllo aiming at tqualltr, for *he feminines
nature to Insist on the very Icaim prlvtleije of thi*}
stroneer sex. If horse car etl'iuetto admits of no
C'-iuvh! gallantry, I know un law forbidding jaeackets,
or, rather, a very atom of ? janel et In thu* |.orllnn,
of a woman's dress most easy of access vi herein sha
can koop sumo loom okaogo CM onuma, If sb? wishes
to arm herself with n pa, I et book half a md bviir,
she ls welcomo; but, for tbe sake of those vim watch
tat everyday ItruggJ. of getting lulu tho "modern
diess poe let, pray let her no' hld. lt th*ro, unless
she 1s indifferent to personal dislocation. "Po wt
think she'll untwist without breaking something ?*?
said an observer In tko car tko other morning whllo
a nally tailor-made Kiri Impatiently furn),led af tho
liitiicnte drais-ry of h'-r shirl. Half a do/en pairs ol
aves were watching lier, and the speaker intered a
sigh of relief when the smart creator*) finally dragva-d
forth a brilliant red puma aid extracted* ? ntcV-l
fiann Its Innermost recess. There'. Pho bas lost lt
In tho Strew. No. t-he hasn'r : lt's lafe. And tho
conductor Tines In his fara. Then the pocket hs,* t,,
lo " discovered" onco uioie, vvlth tko same contortion*,
all over a.'Un.
BRIEF HONEYMOON OF MAT AND DFCFMBFlt,
From The 0S4tSS* WAU
It was a ease of December arid .Mtv. TVoemlaot
was OOtl-agt-oaaiy rich; May was endowed with laeanly
and a temper esjieclally a temper. They utaiieel
on tbe'r honeymoon under tha ni.,-r auspicious cir?
cumstances, lhe day was lovely, tko bride was fair,
and the presents had been many ; and, as the rejorlers
put If. " all the best people of both cities*' were at tbs
welding.
Two hours lalor behold them In a l>i!tman palace,
car. She ls seated and lin ls Just settling down.
" ('barlte.'' she waa saying, '? I must havo Ibo window
up."
"No, mv dear: I shad catch cold."
""IT eli, my darline, I sh ill strangle If I don't get that
window up. rut lt up, I say."
" btv dear. I shall do nothing of the hind; I want
tho Window down."
'? i harlie, If you don't ra'*" triat window, somebody
else eau. I sh.ill call a porter."
Well, they bod such ninn're flcht* over that ssitidaw
that as soon as they reached N'larara Falls rhe bride wa*
so mad thal she announced her Intention nf,?~>ln|* horns
on the next train. And she did pi home.
As soon a.* sh,' reached home ?lie sent for the famMy
lawyer and Instructed him to apply for a divorce rot
her at once. To show how thoroughly In earnest
she was she open d a vein In her iran, snd. dipping
the pen In the Mool which oniv a few davi to-fore
had pulsed In tune with her beloved ("harlie's heart,
vIki ed the paj.er which wa* to malie her or.ee more fre.t,
lt I* ii lii'iiBrliabie ron.i rotary upon the I'cnnsvl
roeta divorce law*, that this amiable yieung soma
succeeded In her suit.
HE PROBABLY ENJOYED HIS SUPPER*
FTom Th* Batnlridg* (Co.) Pemoernt.
We are Informed that n'?t long (tinco a geed old
brothel stopped tor supjioi' on th" west sWo of tha
river. Ile was driving a small aud verv gentlo hor.e,
and having to proceed during tho night, which wa*
verv dink, lie went to the stable- and hrldbsl a biit
baaded ex. wt lib tan slragsieil In the stall that oustjg
lo hat"* been oecuplod bj his berte. Tho Ima'bec
hunns.ld the ox to bis bilga',, and kt-ggsn* along until
break of day, when to bis surprise he found out ula
rn bu.ike._^^^
AN O'ER TRUE TALE,
That lins a moral silt, hrd In with every para granta.
Mr. J. C. S?r. having been driven to work too hird,
and worry tim constantly, lay a '"I |,.-a-,l threatening
business i-e-npllcatioii. lay awake night after nlg-hl, loll
bia age** tl SS. K"r- cross and lnluMe, became melancholls,
al suddonly fell pron* In the street one du. struck
down by a frightfully painful spasm of the heart, pri.dod
bjr a we-ak pulse and sui Jen fits of palpitation. Ta'st-n,
tn a hotel, he slowly rev ,v ci el, and when the next dar,
tic via* allowed to talk, a rv i i roiisnltation wss called,
sad all, Including his faintly pi...avian. advised in* con*
Bulling a pi,,i,,ii,",ii- Bpeclalist ot hear! disease.
At lhe cul of a week ho wss lifted iri-ntly Into a car.
rue--, sud went to the (treat heart sjicfllaltst'a house A'
pi -.- i siam isUoa, sonsaltatieaa, panus-ioii, Bte,, etc.,
resulted tn finding no organic disease nf the heart. Rai
1 ir !S|.taltal pm-ln-revr* a ?.V> fate mid advised Mr. S. to
see a prominent nerve specialist.
The ii,-xt day lie did s.a. Ho waa told that hs had
" Am/a'* Pretoria," or Neuralgin Spsam of the Heart,
that death wa* only a matter of time, wa* advised te)
clone up bis arran* mak" his will, et,-. After pa-.', ? t
fee nf tlOO, lie wenl home nearly Mgktoosd to d.-a'h,
snd bad another *pe),ll wllh his heart. Tits lawyers wer*
tatted, and he procoeded to set everything la ordor fol
his demise.
Dr. Nerve Specialist called every other day, g?va
some good advice, ind took away a fee of #20 each Mme.
a cud of three mouthe, a friend abo arr* to *-o
him tali:
" Have you ever used any of this M'OTCII OAT*l
E's- ii K I at, ai much adverUaadt"
? jNo, lt ls some clap trap nostrum."
? Hsre'i a Utile bunk published hy them thst Charley
B-. the I,coker, Insisted on u,j giving you."
" What for V
?? \\c , in- says *i.e stuff cured hi* wifo of paralysis ot
over throe year*' (landing, and he believe* lt oan curt
you."
?? No, old friend, no hope for me, Angula of the heart
ls never cured."
" That's Just the point. Charles say* a Miss Sheldon,
a school Hasher ho know* well, waa cured of ll by ihis
remedy, and her l*iter is In that bexik."
" W elk welt, I'll look ll ever, (terhan*, bal I hava
no hop*.
Thai evening Dr. Korra Specialist made a professional
eal, and Mr. B?r asked him bis opinion of MC'OTl U
DAT* E*srtr.**'Cta and tb* following oonvaraatlou tvog
placo: T
" Have you over u?ed SCOTCH OATH E-SHKNCt fol
complaint* Uko miner
"No, *ir."
" Don't you belloTO in lt*
?? io, *ir."
" But I set, many doctor* sad some peonl* i koon.
ht ye u*ed lt, and bevin cured or benefited by lC"
" It's a patent humbug; simply a humbug."
? But how do you know, if you have nev*r used Ut*
" Oh, 1 know, I know, and my opinlou aa a N*ur*locUI
ought to have some weight."
" Bat If you haven't ussd lt, and others have- reliabl.
physinsn^ ttao, why how?"
'" Thtt's all vsry w*U. I
_ never use sim? uf that kind.*i
air. H?r eouoludad to pur, hase and try a bottle af
aCOTCII U.Vls - tsKNla did an, found J*i*waagt taUtM
steady liiiproveuvcnt and a ansi oura.
COM \ DH C.M.
Why did Dr. Nerve Specialist condemn ill I * st* *sj
ANUWaR. I ll
Mr. J. R. M-r. Dr. te
MBRVK KPKt Isl.IaT, M.
lat Ceeaealtai! eo .
M Visits ia heue*. ^ .
Nbjhllalia.. 3a
Ul
f^alVl^BatfaCOTI'll OATS I hnkm;g, ff
*?d Mr. a- ria ail** aavd wall ia**a*togs