New-York tribune. [volume], May 27, 1900, Page 16, Image 44

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16
THE VOW HOY'S riiOOF.
BIS MARKSMANSHIP SHOWED THAT HK HAD NOT
shot AT THE BRAKEMAN TO XII.I,
From Th.- Denver Times.
•.lack" Vance, a cowboy from the ranch of the
Butt< Creek Cattle Company, was on trial at Alli
ance. Neb., on a charge of shooting at a brakeman
on the Burlington Railroad with intent to kill him.
lie had received his pay a few days before and
■was engaged at the time of the shooting In the
picturesque pastime of painting the county red.
Vance vehemently denied any intent to perforate
tin brakeman. He told the Court that, while it was
true that he did take out his revolver and shoot
after the brakeman had pushed him off the train,
he was merely giving a prearranged signal. lie and
n friend had been down the road a few miles and
wanted to ride back to the nearest station to the
ranch Realizing that if they wire found by any
of the train crew they would be put off, they had
arranged thai if one was put off the train be should
notify his partner by firing his revolver once.
The trainman, with visions of what he firmly be
lieved was a narrow escape from death, 'hook his
head, and the Judge looked unbelieving. Vance's
cowboy friend corroborated the story, but, seeing
that his tale failed to receive credence, the de
fendant asked the Court to please step outside.
The Judge asked what for.
"I'll prove my Innocence, Your Honor," Vance
said.
The Court was curious and went outside. So did
the Sheriff, lawyers and spectators. Vance pulled
out his revolver, and. holding a postage stamp be
tween the lingers of his left hand; clipped off each
corner in succession. Next he asked a spectator to
suspend a hickory nut from a thread Walking oft
thirty feet he wheeled and at the first shot cut the
thread. Taking six tacks he placed them loosely
in a piece of wood. This he placed against a post
twenty-five yards away. Borrowing a watch from
a bystander, he opened the case for a mirror, shot
with his back to the mark, and drove each tack
into the wood without a miss.
The brakeman had been looking on in open
mouthed wonder. As Vance concluded the brake
man stepped up to the Judge, and, tapping him on
th. arm. said:
"Yes. Yer Honor, I guess i was mistaken. That
man wasn't shoot at me."
77//. nui.n's SYMPATHY,
From Leslie's Weokly.
A iinli- k\t\ of live or six yf'iirs. with hig blue
eyes that were full of u-arH, came to Betlevue Hob
j.itai the other day. Sn< carried a cat in her arms.
The oat ha.i been wounded l>y a streetcar, and oiu
leg wu-s badly mangled.
At the nati the tz'\r\ told Tom. the big policeman,
thai th^ ,-a' was hurt.
"I want a doctor to hhyp« v p it!" she said.
Tom took ber to the receiving ward, where there
w:is a doctor who had nothing else to do.
"Here's ,i <-a.se, doe," said the policeman.
"I ain't a" — the doctor began. Then h<» saw
the girl's ey.s. "Uet me see." he continued.
"Pretty bed," was the doctor's comment. Then
he K r ot som, knives, a little bottle of chloroform
and some bandages. "You must help me," he said
to the girl.
She aided bravely, though it made her Very pale
to see the sharp knives amputating the leg. in
a few minutes it w;us all over and the cat was
partly recovering from the anaesthetic.
"Now you can take your kilty home with you,"
.saiil the doctor
"It ain't mine." the girl said "1 dcs found it.
NOW OO lake .are Of It. DOOd-bye." The policeman
and doctor made faces at each other, then s.-ni the
cat to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals
BASE I/ I /7/>\
Prom Harper's Isaz<ir
Say. Thompson, di.l you ever notice thai 1 w.i
brutally indifferent !•• my children?"
"Certainly not. Sfou're quite the contrary,
Holmes."
'•Well, do 1 look lik.- a miscreant who would !>•
only too glad to abandon them t.. the mercy of
si rangers?"
"Of ■ours.- not Whatevei put such an Idea into
your head?"
"Or hay.- I the reputation of lx-in« .so selfish that
I would not disturb or .-x.-rt myself in th. slightest
to secure their safety from th.- most desperate
danger ?"
"No, Indeed Who's i>.-.-n accusing you of such
things?"
"My wii>' "
"Youi wife? Why'"
"Why, little Johnny sol himself losi for i couple
of hours the other day, and all 1 did was to notify
th- police, hire every private detective in town and
rouse ill the neighbors, to help hunt for him."
"Wasn'i that enough?"
"No. Sh.- insists that I am a brutal, selfish
miscreant, and several other things, because 1 r.-
fus.'l to .1" ill Bhi wanted me to."
"Why what more was possible?"
"Make the Governor order out the militia to help
hum
117/.17 INTERESTED TUN BOY.
From The Washington Star.
Tin- Is a story which Representative Kddy of
Minnesota tells on himself. Mr Biddy not "only
enjoys the situation when the laugh Is turned
against him. tun has a aense of humor which leads
linn to 'hi the laugh sometimes himself.
"In making the campaign In my district one
year," aid Mr Eddy. "1 took along as an at
traction :i veteran, of the Wai of 1812 and of th«
Civil War. who was a famous hand at beating the
drum ll' was a drummer from away hack, and
could arouse i bole township. Drum music 'la un
New York to Buffalo, via New York Central-Finest One-Day Railroad Ride in the World!
NEW-YORK TRIBUNE ILLUSTRATED SUPPLEMENT.
"WHICH IS YOITK Ili.l'l-ST DAUGHTER?"
"SIR, I HAVE N<> i:ui>i:sr DAUGHTER."— (Mcggeadorfer Blattn
"PHVOIXJ HAVE V'H AN i:.M Y< 1.. >r.KI>f A ■"
"NO BUT WHAT Woll. l. YOl UKG TO KM>\\. I'ROKKSSOKT
Incendiary kind of thing, anyhow, and the old
captain's drumming was particularly stirring.
"Well, on*' night, after the captain's drum had
given the usual overture, I commenced my speech
to the populace, which had been lured to the
scene by his drum. I noticed at the foot of the
rostrum, the same being a big drygoods box. a
bright eyed little fellow about twelve years old.
who sat thiough the speech, following me with
great attention. It pleased me very much. Any
fool can Interest an audience of adults, but it
takes a genius to hold a child.
"So, after speaking, I went down and spoke
to the little fellow, and after shaking hands with
him asked him how he liked my speech.
" 'Oh. it will do." he said; "hilt if I was you I
would keep the captain a drummin' all the time.' "
a
HEROIC MEASURES.
From The Youths Companion.
Our young friend John is color blind, and as he
is in his sophomore year and somewhat devoted
to clothes, the fact gives him a slight amount of
trouble. Until his friends have assured him that
garment or necktie is "all right." he is in a pitiful
state of uncertainty. His new topcoat was a
great success, but nevertheless he did not escape
the usual tit of nervousness attending it- purchase.
"Oh. hat a nice coat!" exclaimed a sister, when
he brought it home. "1 do like that shade of
brown."
"And the little red threads!" added another
"Aren't they nrettv?"
"Red!" cried John. "I didn't know there was
any red. Now, is it a brown coat with red
threads, or Is it a red coat with brown? You just
tell mi', so i can interview the tailor."
Ills mind was set at ease, but he had learned
caution and the value of heroic measures. The
next day at luncheon the teasing cousin said:
"I'll bet you don't know what color your neck
tie is!"
"Blue," said John, serenely.
"Right! How on earth did you know?"
"Well." said John, with the sam.- assurance "1
bought it yesterday, and 1 told the clerk if he
didn't give me bin.- I'd throw him out of the win
dow "
GILLIE Wli t: I /.'/..
From The Philadelphia lost
The Karl of Cadogan is a superfine young aristo
crat ;m<l .1 Tory <>f ill.- old school; he la as ri. h a*
Crtspus, and rea«'tionarj In everything. No "U<
questions hla ability, and considerable experience
■if public life haa made him much less exclusive
ami ii lught \ than he used t>> be.
Rome yearn ago, when he ni young and Incon
aiderable, he spent a few daya fishing on the
Tweed. He had as hla boatman and uraba»sadar
t" the t'oini o! KiriL,- Sulmon the famous fisher
man known as Ftol -it tit Treua. You must under*
-t.iini that even a Tammany bosa la nothing like
>vi ii .in autocrat at a Tweed naherman-Killie in
I lit- gtllle'H . v .-.- dukes {tint lords ;,nd notabilities ir.
din compared with a good fisherman Robert of
Treua waa a famous character, and us gruffly lade
pendonl Ha oatmeal porridge tan make '. m.
11. had rowed the Bar] of Cadogan to a chotew
pool in the rlvi i md Cadogan began to As*. Pies
•ntly the noble BSarl drew from Ida pocket an «-x
i r itfenda Klatl< r
nuisitt- flask of silver and gold, took a pull at It.
replaced th.- stopper and slipped the Rash back
into his pocket without offering the great Robert
a sip. Robert's brows fell, but he said nothing.
In the course of half an hour Cadogan repeated
the operation. When the Bask a second time dis
appeared, the fisherman grasped the oars and be
gan lustily to pull for shore. 'I he Karl, who had
been tiling down by the suddenness of the start
turned to his gillie and asked: "What in thunder
are you doing?"
"Rowing ashore," gruffly answered the Scotsman
"Ashore: Why?" inquired the nobleman.
"Well, my Lord." saM Robert, 'a maun that can
drink whuskey by him— can tush for tush by
liimsel'."
Robert got his drink.
— m
MEMoRAXIt.I OX YISITIXV CARDS.
THEY AUK 1.1K1'.1.Y TO REACH EYES FOR WHICH
THEY \\ ERE NEVER INTENDED.
Washington correspondence of The Chicago Record.
Son,, people have a bad habit of making notes on
the back of visiting cards and then putting them
into their pocket books or eardcases. The conse
quences of such carelessness have been realized by
people I know. On the last Wednesday before
Lent the ladies of th.- Cabinet held their 'final re
ceptions for the season, and bad an unusually
large number of callers. Among the cards [, a
were left upon the tray in her hill one of them
found two that bore interesting and important
memoranda. The names upon the other side were
well known to the lady. One of them la thai of i
gentleman who stands for statesmanship riot
i.-m. oratory and almost everything that is good
and great, lie is a happy husband and devoted
father, and his interest in his own domestic -if
fairs was demonstrated on the back of th«» card
by this shopping list:
"Nursing bottle for baby." "2 hots beef iron
and wine." "tooth brush." "tooth powder" "di
gestive tablets," "soap "
The other card was that of a Congressman's
wife, and it bore the following note:
"The last cook you sent us got drunk and inso
lent Send a white woman if you can get i good
ere; if not. the best colored woman you have on
your list. This is the last tun,- I shall patronize
■ Evidently this card should have none to some
Intelligence nice instead or being left on the
tray at the residence of the Cabinet otllcer
Mure was quite a controversy that evening l>e,
tween the latter and hi*, wife ns to whether she
ought to send these cur.l* to th« persons m |wt
interested He thought it wa.« her duty to do bo
bhe said thai it would only mortify them.
ciiAXGB for Horn.
From The Philadelphia Press.
"You need a change," said the .1.., tor "1 think
you should take a trip to Kurop, " "mm.
• Well. doctor." said the man with ■ lax»;« an .l
thßTking/- family ' " >OU "*** A liuia^ »£ l"v!
" Really V
"You. You want to ,h.4ii(p» your rumd."
A PLAN THAT FMLHD.
THE HIKED GIRL UNFOUTUNATKL.* OVEIUTKiQ
HER MISTRESS'S REMAFIKS.
From The Detroit Free Press.
"My wife is mid and I don't blame her. aal r™
tell you why, said (ones yestTd ly "We havj
kept house for twenty years, and I rigure that <!■••.
ing that time we have had at least eighty htr**
girls, good, bad and indiffer-nt, but mostly bail
Several years ago Mrs. Jones was fortunate mtmy
to secure a jewel or" a girl; but she * m indsujM
enough to brag about it around the neishbo-aood
with the result that one of the neighbors enticed
her away, under promise of paying her Makar
■wages, and my wife has not forgiven the wuana
that did it to this day. Ever since she had ha»i *
dream that some day she would be lucky enousi
to draw another prize in th hired g:rl market
when she did she nad her plans all laid to k»*p fee
"Well, the other day the jewel wad secured, a 34
Mrs. Joaea. simply hugged hers.if with ieiigat
when she realize-1 what a treasure she pu!i>i»-«s*a
"The. girl had only been with us one week wtua
Mrs. Blank, •««• or" our neighbor*, called and ol><j.
ally remarked that she saw that we ha«l aauawr
girl
"Tea,* answered lira. Jones with a 314 a, Ti»
only going to keep her till 1 can gel another. Sic
is simply unbearable! Shi is indolent lazy, -lnv-
ly, impudent and doesn't know enough to s;<tn lv
kettle boiling. She*
"'You're a loir, mum!' burst upon her isionishri
ears, ami there stood the new girl in th.- •i'jurw.ij
with all her Irish up An 111 hive ye untkrsuaa.
mum, thot I'll not stay another minute in a hcu*
where they blackguard a poor, hard workin' sur-r.»
character:' and with that she flew to hrr room aal
packed up.
Mrs. Blank has the girl now. and she mnrr
loses a chance to tell wh.it a treasure she has *ki
how Mrs. Jones abuses her girl>. »lium makes ny
*il'e -imply wild."
SPARING OF HER REMEDY.
From The Chicago Times- Herald.
There is at least one woman in KenwiMnl v» rto br
tieves thoroughly in th- efficacy »( prayer. Ab«s
a year ago her husband engaged in i bi;siEr»
venture that looked rather uncertain. But hu v.U
had strong faith that it would turn <>ut w.-Il
"Go ahead. John." she said, "and let us put ■*$
trust in the Lord. I pray every nitrht thai we umj
'iave no reason to regret the risk *■ ar~ '.ikiast'
The affair seemed ••• turn out pretty tvrll risr.
from the start. Handsome dividends wen ;>.».» i.
through the summer and during tne winter, ni
-:teat joy was in th- home of this man and r&t
sharer of his fortunes.
Hut 'here came a turn about a month ago, T*
business ceased to pay. and since then tile k»s»
have ■■•■• increasing every day. Nothing was soi
about it at th- fireside around whi.-h so murt
happiness had centred during the last year umi
the other day. when it was suggest! .1 by the wuf
ried husband that it would be well t.. cut down ex
penses. Questions followed as a m.itler >>f outiiv.
md then it had to be confessed that the buic-J
was not going well.
"Dear me!" exclaimed the distressed «.>nus.
when all the truth had b~»-n reve.iled tt> her. ". i
must begin praying again to-night!"
ADVICE TO AS IXLIrKY Ltfll
Prom The Lewisto.i Journal
•Tom" Hlggins used to have a p^ace v? M *i»
head of I.isbon-st. where the tiger l.tsht-i bis u:i
The sounds therein were the mellow rustle of :-s
cards, the voice of the dealer saying. "How bj:J
will you have, gentlemen? ' and ttn- forc:ble <;3i."*
latlona of the party who failed to "li.L"
One night all the tables were occupied. "*J
was a rap on the door. Higgin.-. with his a^ rt
difference to thinK - that did no: interest him. |M
no attention to the rapping. Hit the mun uuw^
was impatient. He kept knocking.
At last Higgins went to the door. and. *!»•
unlocking it. he cried:
"Who are you and what do you want?"
"I am So-and-so and I want to sjet in and P« .
The man wa.s a notorious loser. "Tom" to«»*
around at the group in the ro.nn. Then he tars*
to the door and said to the man ou;side:
""Shove your money under the door and so *■«•
That will save you time and us trou&lr."
A \ll 1/ BATTLE of TUE f\ 1 "'
From The Cleveland Plain IV-nler.
The Stranger— K.\. use me. I am a sirunzer **•*
Will you kindly inform me why all thes* S»1
dressed people are loitering ou the shares W »**
The Native— Eh? Don't you know? 3Fs«
great naval battle is being f>.iUi;ht here, aiw -~
people for miles around hare orm- to <njo> «•
event.
The Stranger— I'm new in tht. part of «!»f e»r
try. but I'm not us fresh, pern »;>.-. a.-> I !oo^ »"
tell me that a great naval battle b l*ioi w°^
here. And yet as far as the eye oun rea^ »
discern no I --at no. nor even a ri;-p!e oa. w
placid waters. _.
The Native—That's all risht. Us a suoma^
battle fought by submarine boats They a" T»
at it to..th and nail somewh.r. about a * n"**
of the bay. „«
The Stranger— You astonish rr.e. These P^P I *-,
not look as if they were attending a batt><-_ '
women wear summer frock.-t. and the B " f ' n fc ,
In afternoon clot -. with top h.its. And, *<*. "^ J
is a band over there! _, •<
The Native— Oh, yes: it's quite a function, in^
the Marine Hand, and those women ami J»J
about it are the special guests .'f the **>J*"*L
the Navy. You wait around a litt!«- - « atw
we'll have some news. There, see! ; j
At that moment ;» black object like ■ W; l^,
strong «igar leaped upward !r.>m tht «**"r^
lay quivering on the surface. Every "\ r , fj
Was levelled at it. and the strangei *-?,™ i
hand above his ey,.- so he could see *!"•&
grimy man crawled from the midst ol me
and raise.! a huge m««aphon»- to bas h;>s.
The Native— Hooray! That' < .>M i'om:uo«lorf -,
Kvans's grandson! , . - . &
The man with the megaphon* shouted irr a *^
torian voice:
"We've licked the bUnkety-blank-ManK »*w
ol "em! . 1 *,^r
Whereat there arose a cr.-.it ebver an JL*Jg
of handkerchiefs, and th. Marine Band !;■■>*.
the Secretary of the Navy h.1.1 .m i-iu'rom.
cepUon. and then every bod J « o!:t nam * tJ
FROM THE MARE'S X'«»< TB.
From The iMJn.lan Chronicle .^^
Sir Robert Finlay. the new Attorney-
like most counsel with % large i' riU \''fr»»!!
what it is to receive a disconcert i.^ r» I >.i! " : '
apparently guileless witness, .md MU ' :'«i***
against hims.-tf in illustration. Ht " * hor*. '•"
on a com for breach of wartantyirf •* "J^ t>
ag- of the animal l-em* the , "h:ef m-il'*^ *^
I ate, and h.i.i to oross-exami:>e -i heslie..
with every appearance of rustic .-tmi'' 11 1 - } - j •>
what authority do >.»u swear !•««• "-. m
mare.?" he asked, In sure ..f v. , "^JS 9*
Half i I ■/..u more questions failM W "_. M
the witness any more »peclrtc .i;is»<t. , . .
d«» you know?" thundered Sir R. •»"« Ji_^j ;►«
had it from the mar- own moutn. ***-
hoctler.
EXTREMES UF.KT. I
From The I n.lLin i|>olii» i'refl*. „ §'
The ML .tide I d..n't feel well this *H
!••,,■ Bruuette— Maybe It t» something I" 9 ■
lun.ti. j.i_» cr*s -'■
"1 think not. I only had some Jevtu<^ • W
angel aha __^U