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New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, January 12, 1902, Image 39

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IT IS THE NOTED CORCORAN MANSION IN WASHINGTON AND CONTAINS
waiter could not read.
SCHEME OF LANDLADY TO SEE THAT
BOARDERS GOT Tin -Hit OR
DERS FAILED.
There's . new waiter every other day at our
board: m: h«.us-\" ... the Tammany Hall poll
tician, who is oat of a job and who lives on the
top floor, to the bank toller who rooms across
ttfiEtreet.
"Well." •...- the answer, "I don't think that
Jon ought to complain. You were saying only a
«Ja>rt tiir.e ago that the most intolerable thing
•*wut boat line is the lack of variety."
"Van.-. said the Tammany man, "is wel
«ant- in matters of food and other such forms
'merest! but it, is dangerously fatal in the
cE -'.-- of servants and in politics. If it
wasn't for the fact that there is such variety in
Politics, why, i would not be living at present
SB the top floor of a boarding house."
"But what about the waiters?" broke in the
bank teller.
"Well, as I was saying." continued the Tain
tnan i' man, "for the last week there has been
• new waiter every other day. I wondered
**-* 1 cotsM be the matter. until yesterday, when
* learned, fur one thing, that the cook was so
«w»d look.' • thai the boys fail in love with her
M first sij-iit, and when they get out In the
tt(lil : they forget all about the boarders. The
*rvants are all colored, you know.
"Day before yesterday they got a little fellow
*° *" a t on the tables, and he was so spry that
I thought I would encourage him by giving him
* tip- I thought that at last we had a waiter
**o would rtay overnight Well, do you know
*kat that boy did? Went out and got drunk on
«* money i gave him, and be was tired before
j" 6hl - J -' L ' didn't have even a chance to fall In
*** with the cook.
'There L.i.j been a good seal of trouble about
Siting t) J( . orders straight. For instance, you
"^t order oatmeal and eggs for breakfast,
a the waiter would bring you sausage and
"**• At dinner things became so muddled up
often a boarder would wait a good fraction
| an hour for his soup, and then be served, to
■^■uriui .-■.-, a cake basket and linger bowl,
After the boarders had threatened the land
"V with getting out, and my friend on the
» floor had skipped out without paying for
*> *•*•■' ''"1, she made an attempt to
** ht 'fi things out. Accordingly, at the next
** •*«-• had a new waiter, fresh from the era
*n *&l otv.<-.n, and m homely of face that any
' •*«« with •>„. cook. it was believed, would
unmedlately repulsed. At each plate was a
•^sloid card.
*kii '"' • "" M ' r taken my seat than the
4 •*»■ Ui|«j me to write my name, arid then, un-
Jt, what I wanted m eat. Well, I filled out
tk MCaris'M Caris ' *' :iv '* It to the waiter, and began to
*«t developments.
M&t° U Won l haV(i any difliculty now in getting
*t"ui' Want * Mr Clnoh -' ■■*■ tne landlady, as
U^ ■'"' <i <3own one „ the as j eUl » l 0 diminish
° lLfcl boarders around me were beginning
NEW- YORK TRIBUNE ILLUSTRATED SUPPLEMENT.
TIIK BALLROOM.
to shuffle their feet as if they were Retting tired,
wh<-n the waiter brought me a plate of nuts and
a rup of coffee.
"A titter went up from a couple of women
stenographers who sat at a table opposite mine.
" Jl'-re, take this back." I yelled to tho waiter.
I ordered soup; bring It on!'
"Well, I waited, I guosa, fully ten minutes
snore, when that fellow brought me some sauce
and a souxj spoon. 'Soup is all out,' he mur
mured, as he disappeared again in tho kitchen.
"1 was getting d'-sper;tte, and on looking
around I saw that all the others were twirling
;h'ir forks and spoons, waiting for some chance
morse] of food. Tho confusion had become so
great, and the waiter was greeted with such a
chorus of epithets every time he put his head
<nn of tbe kitchen door, that at la.st he refu.s<nl
to come oui altogether.
"The crowd then turned on tho landlady and
demanded that they cither got their orders or
have a chance to get out. This most estimable
woman, who was now near nervous prostra
tion, rushed into the kitchen and dragged
the waiter into the middle of the dining
room.
" 'Why don't you serve these orders? Where
are those cards?' she screamed.
" 'Dunno, niawm,' was the answer. 'Dose
cawdaj dey be in de kitchen. Dey*s no good,
mavm, cus I cawnt read. Cook cawnt read
neither. Ho dere you be, mawm.'
"Th" waiter was discharged on the spot,
and this morning we had another one."
"Well, why do you slay in such a placer*
asked the bank teller finally.
"Thought I'd wait until I could pay my ront,"
was the reply, "l'ou see, 1 live on the top floor.
THE DRAWING ROOM.
SOME STATELY ROOMS.
so th.it it is impossible to get my trunk out
Without the bouse knowing it."
7'UO ILLUSTRATIVE STORIES.
TOU> BY JOHN 3. WISH AT A BANQUET TO CKUg*
BRATS THn OVKRTUHOW OF" TAMMANT.
The present state of mind of certain people
with reference to locating the place where the
credit for the recent fusion victory belongs, as
well as to the scramble for a slmre of the spoils,
was well Illustrated by two stories told by John
S. Wise at a dinner in Madison Square Garden
in celebration of the defeat of Tammany the
other night. The first of these stories was aimed
at several members of the Citizens Union, who
were present at the time. It runs as follows:
"A young fellow who was making his first
shooting trip in the Maine woods hail taken with
him an old guide whose marksmanship was well
known. In the course of a morning's ramble a
partridge went up suddenly ahead of them.
Both raised their guns and fired, the guide at
the bird, tho young sportsman at the atmos
phere generally. The bird fell, and both rushed
to get it. The guide got to it first, and, picking
It up, presented it to the young hunter, and
said cood naturedly:
" 'It don't make any difference which of us
hit him, as long as we bagged him.' "
Mr. Wise's second story, which was aimed at
the patronage problem, ran this way:
"A Southern family had for many generations
occupied a backwoods plantation. Here they
lived In a free and unconventional fashion.
When it was dinner time the old colored 'mam
my' would bring in the food of the meal, place
It on a table, and then blow a cow horn, to call
the men from the fields. The discovery of coal
in their plantation changed the family condi
tion suddenly from poverty to wealth. The
family moved to Atlanta and adopted more dig
nified habits of life, among which was the course
dinner. But the old 'mammy" still did the hon
ors Of the table. To her the new way was both
disagreeable and confusing. The number of
plates necessary for the various courses was i
particular source of annoyance. At last she dl»
appeared one day In the midst of dinner. After
some search her mistress found her In the
kitchen, sobbing loudly, and inquired what the
trouble was.
" Truble enuff," .she said, plaintively, lse
gwlne back ter de plantashun. I can't stand
dis yar coarse dinner. I>ere"s too much a-shub
bing up plates fur £c acurseness of de vittels.' "
ODD UIFT AT QOLDMM WKDDISU.
Danville 'Ky.) correspondence of The Chicago
Inter ( h-ean.
Mr. and Mrs. John Williams, both pa^t BeVi
enty years old, are celebrating their golden weJ
ding, and an- tho recipients of many presents.
(Tom their friends. One of the gifts was from
J. K. Wright, a monument and tombstone manu
facturer, and is a handsomely designed tomb
stone with the panes of the couple engraved
upon it. It will at once be erected upon a lot
in Bellevue Cemetery, which Mr. and Mrs. Wi l
iams have selected as their last resting place.
The old couple are delighted with the unique
gift.
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