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NOT I>"INt; THE HOBSON ACT.
apt in: in hi: by the a user.
An example of the Kaiser's Kit has jusi been
given at the expense of a resident of Belgium
prominent in the financial world, whom we will
call Vun X.. a German by birth and nationality.
The Kaiser knows him well, qualities an-3 fail
ings. Yon X. i.~ extremely pretentious, md if
flicted with that ambitious malady the French
term <.. ij tly "folie dcs grandeurs." The Kaiser,
after having seen Yon X. at Berlin and alked
with Ini.i. summoned his physician one ■-- ■ ling,
and with v ver>- solemn face complained i>f s>ri
ous mental trouble.
"What ire your symptoms, your majesty? 1
asked the alarmed doctor.
■I often \:.ik<- In the night and imagine I tin
Yon X. of Brussels. I fear I am suffering from
la foli-- dcs grandeurs."
This h is since been brought to the ears »f Yon
X. with the desired effect, and has caused no
end of amusement in the world of wnich he
makes i »art
TUItLATESKD WITH EXTISCTIOS.
From Ti: i "leveland Plain Dealer.
■•gome vriter says he feels awfully sorry for
the poor horse fly What is he to do when there
are onlj lutomobiles? What can a horse fly get
off an iutomobiie. Varnish only. And the writer
says larnish is disappointing in the beginning
ami deadlj in t! nd. It does seem too bad,
dosen't n .*"
"It does Poor old horse fly But I suppose
■omebod) »ill be moved to do something for
•'1 SI'I*I*OSE VOI'R EXGACESIEXT I'"" 1 THE IIARONKSS IS STII.I v SE<"TtET
"Vi:s ONLY MY MOST [NTIMATK - 1:1 :i ■! i ' l:~ KNI>W OV i :
Best Line to Cincinnati and St. Louis — New York Central.
NEW-YORK TRIBUNE ILLUSTRATED SUPPLEMENT.
the unfortunate wretches. Think of a Home
for Indigent Horse Flies! Perhaps one of our
big hearted millionaires will establish a park
for them, and save from extinction a few equine
examples for them to ft-nst upon. If the horse
fly is doomed Ins exit should be mud- as easy
arid comfortable as possible."
SI V WORSHIPPER /V // iRD U CX.
From The L.<>nd«>n Express.
The following remarks were overheard nn a
Strand omnibus, says a contemporary. A leaden
sky was overhead, th« rain poured down un
compromisingly, mud was underfoot A red
capped Parsee who had been sitting near the
dripping driver got down as the conductor came
'"■•Whit sort ■>• chap is that?" asked the driver.
"Don't yer know that.- answered the con
ductor. -Why. that's one o' them Indians what
worships the sun!"' , .
"Worships the sun 1 .- said tho shivering <1 river.
••[ suppose Vs come over 'ere to 'aye a rest!
From The Chicago Tribune.
•■Is it true," asked the Inquisitive man, "thai en
vironment produces changes ' type In living or-
B *-Certafnly. it is." replied the local scientist, dlg-
Klng .1 chunk or Boot out of hJs eye. "Haven t
pou noticed that the English sparrows In ( hicago
:,!■■■ growing blacker every year?"
AS EXPL 1 \ ITIOS
From The Wa till toi Star
I ppose you w!i! be plad t> get away from
i ongresa and g< t a little i t."
"My friend.' ■ wered the stat snian, "you mis
interpret !!••■ it iatl in. When a man goes t>> his
UXCL.E SAM- I BELIEVE I COTlll) 6CESS WBOM THAT DOSE 13 KEAIXI BEING FIXED C» Ni
— (Detroit Tribune.
own State he has got to look aflef elections night
and day. Ho goes horn.- t.> hustle. II he's lurkj he
gets to Congress, whew is a chance t-> rest.
A TELLING KETORT.
Fault was found, says "Tlw Christian Endeavor
World." with the way in which thf shorthand
writers r^port-d the speeches In a legislative body
They retaliated by giving the speech ol on<
members exactly as he made i<. with the following
"The reporters ought not to the reporters ought
not to be the ones to lodge of what is important -
not to say what should be left out— but the mem
ber can only jiulr^ of what i.- important As I—
as my speeches— as the reports— as what I say la
reporUd sometimes, no one— nobody can understand
from the reports— what it is what I mean. -
strikes me— it has struck me certain matters
things that appear of Importance— are sometimes
left out— omitted. The reporters— the papers— points
are reported— l mean— to make a brief statement
what the paper thinks of interest-!.-; reported.
From The Chicago Pos.t.
"I always endeavor." said the matrimoi
losopher, "to take the wrong side of. an mcoase
•■With what object In view?" he wa i
"It gives my wife a chane« to pr • •.••• me wrong.
and this so delights h--r that I find her -:• I
tractable In all the m^r.- Importani matters "
/. vi 101 .< RIVALS.
From The Baltimore American
"And you," sneered the ft i ' plain
to be the best chauffeur In town?"
• i do." stout Ij answ ■ ■ • ; -
JUDGE (to tnuap%cco9ed of having kissed Urn woman}— WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY IN YOl'tt i'KFKVS.
TRAMP— NOTHING. YOUR BONOS. 1 DI^KKYi-: TO BB PUSlSUElX— (MegsenJorfer Kilter.
•'You <1.»?" was the continuation of the sbp*
••Yt>u do? •■!•••■: you never killed any thins eswnt
a chicken in all your career!"
Stung to the quick, the second automobilist lurked
with 1;:.- macli i in the vicinity .if a sehooit-ous?
all afternoon, forgetting, in hi." blind rage, that it
wa.< vacation time.
PROPER /\ THAT ' l>/.\
From the Kansas City Journal.
"Mr. Moore." said Judge Phillips to an ;i:: .:r., 7
daring the recent trial of a case in the feJerai
court at Jdplin." "I believe it would be better •„>
address the witnesses by surnames." The ofi^.
injr attorney ™pologi» d and temporarily reforssvi
I-ater an awkward Ions; lirri'"! acd Elovenh esa
■.v.i- called to the Stan I i!:.s ciothin? evfefetßd
pressing need >l repair and a;s person urgently it
mai d.-d a fcatb. N »w. Reab " hfi;an the . >
sent-minded lawyer. "Wait ;« moment." saii ;•»
judge. .-. - he I-nr.e-I over ar.d ti:».k ;i II Mili at
': h-- witness. Then he turned to the attorney and
added. "Vimi may go on. *ir. I see no reason «%]
he should not be called Ileub.' "
THE HiMOiiisrs retort.
Editress— This joke dates from ttw tire* or
Pharaoh. . . .
Humorist— How careless I w;».; t.» - ir.mu it tg
you. when i might have known you wouM rfmrnt
77// /// !-"\
• ' Boston Ti
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