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New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, October 30, 1904, Image 32

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83030214/1904-10-30/ed-1/seq-32/

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DIDN I Bn.IEVI-: IN SHiNS
SICNS?" said the man wh<« was trying to
evade a conversation >>v occuh topics.
"Ni>, sir. 1 <lun't believe in them "
" Bat " said the thin man whose long Prince
Albert coat strongly resembled a stovepipe
with buttons on it. "you know there are
certain events which always accompany cer
tain other events. If it rain , there is thunder.
Therefore, let us admit that thunder is a sign
of rain not a surf sijjn. l>ut -till .i m^" This
being the case, let us ask ourselves whether
there art- not similar relationships between
phenomena not soeasilj observed and compre
hended l>y the limited intelligence whi<
present vouchsafed the hum. in race.
The skeptic looked at him a moment, and
then vaguely exclaimed: "Huh?"
"1 say that there may be co-relationships
between events which we ..iimot account for,
and yet which may have been more or less -leti
mtcly established by the coincidence upon
which the laws of chance rely for their only
practical demonstration."
"Lodk here'" was the rejoinder. "Is what
you are trying to tell me this When a man
tells you something is a si^n of something else
there i- ,i possibility that he may l>e talking
sense? "
"< )f course. Now. you won't -levy. for
instance, that to see a man walking a!"ii^ the
street with an umbrella hoisted is a sign ■•:
rain.'
"Yes ' will! I was walking past .• factory
with a fri-'nd a short time ago. The day was
<!ou<ly. and when we felt the moisture tr"tr. a
steam exhaust overhead my friend put up lu
umbrella. The sun came out but be didn't
notice it I thought it was a good i"ke. and
vnil nothiag. A man came out of a store
a^ we passed and as soon as he s.,w us he
hoisted his umbrella. Two people who saw
him did the same, and in a few minutes I
counted nine umbrellas in our trail What
you want to do t" convince me is to stick to
coincidences and co-relationships and phenom
ena. When you talk umbrellas, 1 can I
getting obstinate."
AN UNFORTUNATE COMPARISON
HOW did I lose her? My deal
easily as tumbling •>" .. log by end ng
her v box of r.,n Rowers. You an
that this could lead t" at inent?
Wait till you hear what happened 1 <
Florida, and she wa« in Chicago, and I thought
I'd > linch the thing by sendiri ; .. I■•>x of
for her birthd ly > elebrut on T
wrote on the >ard .=< i
■ Swi et to th< weet '!'■ ■ m
.iii.l sweet and blooming
..n- only the type of :n: n uwn )■■
I ... i , il. wasn't :t ■ Unfortunati
the box miscarried, and didn't re,
three week Bj that tiro th<
were .. dry ant] hriv( led i]
An«i ! ii.nl written "To fr<
■wiit and blooming a th< i Bowers!" 1
don't know what he said .ii»>ut me wl i
opened the box; but I '1" know that that wa<
w i om i rned.
HIS METRICAL PASS
WHEN the late William I White was
traffic manager of the Santa IV Rail
road he received .; letter from .. Kansa poli
tician returning an annual pass ■•! the v> „r
before. For some rea i>n another pas had
not been sent to the politician who senl the
following verse with t!.< • ■■.jnr'.i pas:
no more I'll ■!• adhe id
My way o'er the glistening rail,
Unless Mr. White will consider it right
T< ■ indme . pa '■ >) thi mail."
i '„;• communication pleased White. He
took the expired pas: and made an indorse
ment across the face in red mk. and then
added Ins signature, a complicated series of
scratches familiar to ever) Santa Fi conductor
This was the inscription
" The conductors will pass this bundle <
From March till tin middl< <■: Lent.
Like any deadhead without a red,
Let him ri<l>' to his heart's content
Tlu jkis- was used by the politician, and
\\..- accepted unqu< tioningly by conductors.
A QUESTION OF CEREALS
A MAN sat on the veranda of one of the
** exclusive dub-houses which line the
north slu.rt- of the government channel i.'ii
necting Lake St. Claire with Lake Huron,
kiiciwti as " The Flats."
As he sat there idly a huge steam freighter
bound for Detroit came within hailing distance
of the veranda Seeing two men who were
evidently passengers returning his gaze with
interest from the ship': deck, he picked up
the club megaphone and called out lustily
" What are you loaded with?" 1
Corn," was the prompt reply, "What
..!•<■ you loaded with?"
"Rye," came sadly over the waters to the
if the men on th< deck ;is the vessel
led away.
SINDAY MAGAZINE- for OCTOBLR 30, 1904
When Dae Was. a Boy
By Hubert Arthur Hensley
I'm very, \«.ry naughty and I play most awful tricks!
My daddy says he vvasn'l halt as bad. when h«: was six;
He never ran away from school, imr broke his jmtty toy -
They simply couldn't <.!<• such things vrhrn daddy was a boy.
It's "Baby don't do such naughty, naughty thing! as that!
Baby, kt doggie be! Don'l tease thr pussy-cat?"
It's "Baby" this, and "Baby" that, and "Baby, don't annoy;
Your daddy never <H<l such things when daddy was a boy!
They never pui a svuttk full of coals on kitty's tail.
Or tackled dogs to empty cans to hear them yelp and wail,
Or stood iht cat in walnut-shells to see her jump for joy,
Or cripple frogs, or anything, when daddy was a boy!
Then whai's the usr of pussy-cats, or >".ils. <>r cans, or dogs,
< )' kittens, or of walnut-shells, or croaking, thrilling frogs?
And why should not my Sunday clothes he freshened up writ! . I i
But daddy never <li<l such things, for daddy wa
But, if they never lost themselves, n->r greased their hair
Nor speckled sister's fro, k with mk. nor chopped themselves in two,
\or stirred the Lee-hives nj> with stitks. nor howled for verj T,
I wonder what on earth they did when daddy was a boy!
I s'pose I'm very wicked, not tit on tarth to stay
In fact, if 1 must be so good I'd rather fly away.
If all that daddy tells tm- is the truth without alloy.
I guess they didn't have much fun when daddy was a boy.
Children Made Welcome
By H. W. Francis
HI", was weary-eyed, foot-sore, exhau
v.. picture of . human wreci He was
th< father of three .children, i mped
■,n vain ull day hunting for .. flat in \\
shelter I
I , i ,
even , : ' he wi mlil '
difli< ulty in 1 it he

father. And there « as n > ro«»i
pr ilu< t . 11. '
• . V • iitten it thi
■ ■

tn>cutei


>king oltl mat
in ii,. hands. >n*
■ all.
! . .
lly
"Ye
i ..!. i.< uitetl 1 ! Iren ?"
I :.. i ;
him
"V( tunati
i nough to h
"Unfortunate? M\ dear what in you
I about? Children, sir. are the angels
of this world. V"ii should : r, that
■ ■ ■!• 'Zen at least '."
His it-it :■ « hi eyes brightened. At
last he had fount] a haven. Here was a man
wh.> li..<i not been turned uito a heartless
Tlhe Face in the Mirror
By Cornelia BaKer
All Hallowe'en, the mystic night
Win i! witches forth on broomsticks fare,
Witches gray and brown and white,
Flying through the frosty air!
From out the shadows goblins spring.
And fairies in their woodhi dells
Their weird, enchanting lyrics sing,
And over mortals casi their spells.
And Grace to-night her fortune tries
Will; nuts and keys and molten lead,
And laughing !<• a minor flies
T< i sec the ■ >•• whom sh< w it! wed.
S!n counts with midnight's clanging lx-11,
With closed eyes and with accents low.
Then U» >k< !.. see it it an tell
This mirror hal sh< fain would know.
A face -In sees with charms <>t Youth
And tresses, golden threaded—
It is her husband's face in truth.
Or will be his— when they are ■.!<!. dL
hnitt- by the ownership ol .; pue ol tone,
bricks and mortar. Hew was a landlord who
remembered that he had not : <■• n born ol age.
■' I). ■ you mean t-> say." he stammered in a
voice choked with gladness and prise " thai
you don't object to children?"
"Object, sir? You most be crazy! Chil
dren] arc my delight. Let them nmp üboni
the halls, sfofl the basins whl Id rags, tear
the paper from the walls, bore holes ha the
floors, carve then initials on the wi odwork—
let them enjoy themselves the darlings, and
the more they do it the better. Con* i ■
in. sir. and choose the finest apartment 1 have.
And if there's anyb dy in it tl i • ; «1
out for .i man with children
The father feh his brain reel II th aght
he mast be dreaming He ilid ntn t see the
two burly fellows who just Ihei am< along,
; .nd who, spying the old man rush* ip and
seized him, until one ol them sp««ke
"Ah, we've got you .it ':. '.-'
chase you've given us! Now ■:.• 'ng
quietly."
"What? What?" gasped the father. "What's
the matter?"
Matter? Why. he's crazy as .. bug!
Escaped from the asylum this mortnng. Come
along now."
The father took hold ol the burly fellow's
.inns
■ne also." he said W*J
I'm crazy too 1 m\:st h..
these years or I'd ?:. vt |
Take me
WILES OF A CIRCUS MANAGER
Clement scon (he !■ •
.Lti.- critic, wr>.ti \ t-r -i :•.
moments. I'y this verse It i :. •
fur his fame CO— l as >.r.i
fatal wnnl cenaraxns the •■.•-•
Hi- ai -hit veil a r. .■' n ; .• •
powci of • -ritu :-;•'. and -
uiTMkm "f it. Ql this ha
fur In v< rs«-
Frank rYfkry, the \>*>- ■ t . :
fount] out thm with good ■•
IVrlev had • harge d tl
earth." It i- ol h : t i : that thi
that he stammered so bod
the manager Im Bunttn
|>auj{h. as he <>>ulii pri a -.:•••
and not the other.
IVriev took ' tIM fjfl .:- ■
laml. It Was .in event H
he ivi.iilii have a OOtici h i
though hia friends in Lund i •
hnpwfMr Scoti •
noti. e,i circus. li ',< ■ n
that ':• m mid :.-' onl;
:n .ulv;:Tue.
A woman teld taxa thai
and that he waa t < .Ti.it - . •
hi>. dramatic criticism! tl i
them and sad copies to his •- • ■
After this infomat* b i
caßed oa the dramatk i - I
log sendiaflj u;> has I „- ••
had no personal i• • ■. i
ii y !Vr!i v exjil. :ne«i r kl
on bcsittcss btrt ■ •.•••" •
had trivt-Ti ton |
Scott's verses ■■ I ■■ ■
hIM .i- ::..:!..rji r - .
one end ol the « ridi
came. 1 Scott':
in a mt-ltr.. • • .
qoatnuas with fer i -
The next da; I
with astonishnx • i *h< i i -
advance not>
signed s v Ctertu at S
SOUTHERN AS SHE IS SPOKE "
While ■
If". I ■'■ ■
ertu r : :-• ■■ ■
across otry 1 • • ■

the N r • •
■ • pg,
"Ro boss? N
■■ \\v : . ■
i-n't any I i
■ \V\ boss VI :: -

rollrag ' - "
" bat .\ . • "
sab."
rh( Xortl
■ iilrr .'■■'■■ ■■■
mi] the ncgi ' ■
over 1
proving • rrin
• Why. ■-
t>' me?
thought y©«
Sai ■
that he ap]
as be r. ; ':- il
A OIESTION 81 KNCVi
Tw > • mi b in X -„
hcati d aij ■ ■ '
ol a certain th«
oaa insisted that 1
Broathi .v. wl :■ •!.< other •-
iii at that ■■ ■ : '
!' ■ ■ "■ • • : . ■
t \«. I. ,■••..■•! 'IV rhaps y
more ..l»ut \.-.\-N.r. •
i 'fteti have you <• >• I
" t in. <■ was the epigf
-Well." -■x,'. • •
'" I've been there r':\t
. tight t ■ km ■ ■ ■ ...
The > „:;.;u ■
Ptesently he »p< ke witl
•■ Horn long .!:•: ; >n -•..• n \
i 4 the five visit \
rhc othci set Ii
bcti m reph inp and - ■
waa then foi twu i»i thret
.ha \. m :.>v . !. th« • v.'.v \ ■ •
"Seventeen years." v\
nii endtU rh. ■■■ ■ ■ ■
PITTING IT DELICMFI
HEXRY." said Mi In*
in to dinner "I wi
Wililt ■:: Si ■•::< WtH} <u> it Wl
thai he takes t«»
It n'l -..■.! for him
wooliht't uDi v it
■■ U irb« ' saw! Mr Ft»s .
!.;t ( r. turttiag h> thr Tow
. . . . ....
i • ■ ) ilh \ ooj Mi'.-..r

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