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14 both o' you stretched out amongst the turnips, an" as fur as looks went, there didn't seem to be much difference betwixt you, 'cept that the bar had a hole in him you could 'a' rolled a punkin in without much trouble. "The perceedin's, Benjamin, that follered the goin' off o' the gun was that you've gut your right shoulder out o' loint, an' your cheek swelled up big as a hornet's nest, an' blacker than your Sunday-go-to-meetin' hat, an' your one eye shet up tight as a snuff-box, an* your giner'l system sprung out o' plumb worse than a V By MARSHALL P. WILDER A Sunny Old City A HOSPITAL is not a place that anyone would visit if he was in search of jollity, yet some of the merriest' hours of my life were spent some years ago in one of the surgical institutes of Philadelphia. I was one of about three hundred people of all ages, sizes and dispositions who were under treatment for physical defects. Most of us were practically crippled, a condition which is not generally regarded to be conducive to hilarity; yet many of us had lots of fun. and all of it was made by ourselves. I was one of the luckiest of the lot, for Mother Nature had endowed me with a faculty for finding sunshine everywhere. Yet part of my treatment was to lie in bed, locked in braces, for hours every day. and each of these hours seemed to l>e several thousand minutes long So many other boys were under similar treatment that an attendant named |oe was kent busy in merely taking otT our appliances. These were locked, for between pain and the rcstiveness pecul iar to boys we would have re moved them ourselves or for one another. Joe was not a beauty, yet I distinctly remember recalling that his appearance was that of an angel of light, for I best remem ber him in the act of loosening my braces. Whenever the sur geon in charge was absent, we would beg Joe to unlock us. "Just live minutes — just a min ute, " and sometimes he would yield, after making us promise solemnly not to tell the doctor. The result recalls the story of the old negro who was seen to hammer his thumb at intervals. When asked why he did it. he replied: " Kasc it feels so good when 1 stop!" To keep from thinking of my pain and helplessness, I kept looking about me for something to laugh at. and it was a rare day on which I failed to find it. When there came such a day 1 had only to dose mv eyes and look backward a few months or years —I was sure to recall something funny. Then 1 would laugh. Some other sufferer would ask what was amusing me. and when I told him he would also laugh; some one would hear him. and the story would have to be repeated. Soon the word got about the building that there was a little fellow in one of the rooms who was alw.iv laughing to himself, or making others laugh, so a!! the boys insisted on being "let in on the ground floor" — which, in my case was the fourth floor I made no objection— was there ever a man so modest that he didn't like listeners when he had anything to say ' So i; soon became the custom of all the boys who were not absolutely bound to their bods to con gregate in my room, which would have comfortably held not more than a do. i n. Yet daily 1 had fifty or more around me. The earlier confers tilled the chairs, later arrivals sprawled or curled on my bed. still later ones sat on the In ad board and the foot-board, the floor accommodated others until it was packed, and the belated ones stowed themselves in the hall, within heating dir'ance. SUNDAY MAGAZINE for OCTOBER 30, 1904 knock-kneed hoss — all because you're so terrible sot in your ways. " Benjamin pondered over the question for awhile, and then said ■■.Mother, you was ;i s ''.U. Nine would 'a' been a-pler.ty! " Pete having returned by this time with the doctor, I rose to go on my way. "I'm jest more than obleeged to you." said Mrs. Benjamin, shaking hands with m.\ "lor ghin' me the lift with Benjamin. He's powerful sot; but when he finds he's wrong he owns up like a man." 'Twas a hard trip for some of them. po«.r fellows, f. >r there were not enough attendants to carry them all. and three flights of stairs are a hard climb for i rip ples. So, t<« prevent unnecessary pain while I was outdoors taking the air. I hung a small American Hag over the stair rail opposite my door whenever I was in This could he seen from any of the lower hall-. 1 learned afterward that it was the custom of royalty and other exalted personages to display a Hag when they were "at home." but this did not frighten in in innm.rv of those hospital days, I always display a flag at my window when I am al>!e to see my friends. Boys are as fond as Irishmen of lighting for the mere fun of it. so we got a lot of laughing out of fist tights between some of the patients. The most popular contestants were Ciott Dewey ft Khnira. New- York, and a son of Sheriff Wright of Philadelphia. Both were seriously arili. ted. though they seemed not to knew it. Wright was a cross-eyed paralytic, while Dewey had St. Vitus dance, and was so badly paraly/ed that he had no control over his natural means of locomotion. He could not even talk intelligibly, yet he had an intellect that impressed me deeply, even at that early day. He could cope with the hardest mathematical problem that anyone could offer. IL- read much, and his taste in literature and everything else was distinct and Vet, still being a boy. lie enjoyed a tight, and as he and Wright wire naturally antipathetic by tempera ment they were always ready for a set-to. These afTairs were entirely harmless, for neither could hit straighter than a girl can throw a stone. The result ot their efforts was "the humor of the unexpected," and it amused us so greatly that we never noticed the pathetic side of it. His Appearance 'Was of an Angel of LigKt These two Ikjvs did me the honor to become fond of me. Why they did it I don't know, unless because 1 never did anything in particular ftf t Wright. Yet lie was always t.-asiug Dewey. who was proud and Svlf-reliant, and insisted upon doing everything for himself. That he might serve himself at table, a little elevator was made for his convenience, and I was mischievous enough to <ii> -ivr.mge the machinery so tint food intended for his mouth should rea^li liis ear. Vet he loved me dearly, and dashed at me affectionately, though erratically, whenever we met. I was muiMe to jjet about without erutehi-s. so i frei|uentlv fell. If Dewev was in sight he woiild hurry to my assistance, with disastrous results to both of us. Often Wright would ojTer assist ance at the same time, and the two would fall over each other and me and attempt to '•fight it out." while 1 would become helpless with laughter, and the three of us would lie in a heap until some attendant would separ- ate the warriors and set me on ray feet and a •;• One rule of the institute was that no patients m : In |MWi the building on Sunday — the day oa whi. : the physicians and attendants got most liberty 1 enforce this rule there was a doorkeeper named Sno He was a dwarf, hardly four feet high, who on Sand \\<>ul<l curl up in a box under his desk ami mbk could have a mouthful or more of whisky, air] a little of it would put him sound asleep and I thc doot unguarded against anyone who iand t« mH, Flow whisky got into the institute to be ■ upon Smith I don't know I recall a Sunday when we three. IXwey. V. '< and I, conceived the idea of going to church. T . was a church directly across the street. s<> w, • for it a few moments after throwing a s..p .i to our Cerberus. We had several misha; - way. due to my friends' well-meant but mi ■ 1;: efforts to assist me. but passers-by kindly pal our feet again. We got into church early, a; 1 | up the aisle and entered the front pew. Soon after the service began a joonfl " ■ our left compelled our attention by eying us ii apparently she thought us the newest thing r; Tame Graces" line. Something moved me to ; . Dewey and tell him to stop flirting with thai ; Apparently he thought I was trying to !*■ fumy • he began laughing in his peculiar laugh. wh» h sputter, with which no one familiar with i* «■■. help being amused: so Wright laughed h»- at which it was impossible for me to keep •|ui> t. V\ really were reverent little chaps, so we tried bar.l suppress ourselves; but boys will be boys. Suddenly we three exploded as one. \\V hear tittering around us: the minister stopped » •' middle of an eloquent peri*»d, raised his fJUiiiii i. .■• ■..[ shall never forget his pained expression <>f asU>ru ment as he caught sight of us for the first tiin. >■ denly there appeared a platoon of deacons, two »■ whom attached themselves to each of us. an*] were conducted down the aisle, facing an jrm ■ > array of hymn-books, behind which the . i tion were endeavoring to hide their own kuirht. r He Said \ It Was \ "Very Good ' Water years ago on reaching a Philadelphia chun h « ! ■ members I had been engaged to "entertain, r! committee of arrangements met me antl said ti < wished to prepare me for the unusual appearance their chairman. He had endowed the church, r! told me. and was almost idolized by the people ?'. i many noble qualities of head and heart. yet h. « paralytic, and his visage was shocking at tir>> Suddenly the chairman himself entered th. ■ md I saw my old friend Gott Dewey. At the instant he recognized me. He dashed at ntv i i old way. My arm instinctively caught him a- ii ! done hundreds of times Wfore. The commit t.. posing I was frightened, endeavored to svpafati M wt weren't easy to handle, so there was .» .: mix-up, m wnu-n tru- i!« .ir > boy. with tears s?n ■.«• ■.:■ down his checks, ti:tU;r. t>< to explain that wo v. m friends. Then lie t»>M ?iu- l! he hud read my l>i»>k " IV ■ I've Smiled With." aim! I • so greatly amused |.\ r ri he had suggested my «n>:^ ment to entertain Ins »!,. people, yet he had i imagined 1 was tl,« \\\ boy of "The Crinkles' 1.. ace. " It took him fifteen tun • to say all this and »<>•!,; his emotion. Then In- v. ant. to go on the platform and tell his people tJbtmt n> and what old friends we were. 1 realized that it h was to do it I should never reach the platform niw ■:: >.» pcrsiKido.l him In Iri oh Id llh su.ry. He\-«. sented. but insisted on accompanying me, ami tear fully confirmed everything I said. So with him I <>:.! me. for "local color," 1 got along so well that th« • was not a dry eye in the house. It was an im\|>r. - ible relief to me to set everyl»ody laughing aitvrwar.l for I never needed a '* bracing up"* more than ■:. that night. Dewev had always longed to be a law\. r There Appeared a Platoon of Deacon* The next «lav :••.• church sent fin- •■ stitute a (>•:: ■•:• earnest re<m«>t r'r-.r no more «rij.f!>- I . permitted t«> attvn*! service in tii a t m — — • m « nurcn. i n Ti. a h After Waving tht institute 1 lost si-! ■•• »»f Dewev. tin >::-.'!! i never forgot his hi-arty \\.:\ of greeting mo whtiuvt-r ' ■ met me. a lw nilji 1 1 nhi ■ caused him to tumM« Jl over me and «-«»m{., ■" -•! me to put out my ami ' • save him from lullitv'. !•": . •