Newspaper Page Text
STRIKE OUT Descants on A Football Reform f Episode By George William Daley THERE was much excitement in Slui;;.;''" Corners one morning soon after the basej ball season dosed, with us the champions ci tr* Big Stick l-e..}:u<'- when the announce-; meat was made through the streets <>t the town (hat Pigskin Pete had returned. Pirskrn Pete, the Bad Man from Trouble, Ruction Township. Rufantumbel County. Texas. w -h.. could draw quicker, shoot straight *r. swear longer, and drink harder than any man in tbe St^te. who boasted that his father bad killed sixty men in his lifetime and that 1.. was out to'Uat the record^ No tronder EluggiU Corners looked worried and the mar rh.,l put iresh -hells in his shotgun and re- X a<ied his revolvers. KoKniy went looking for Pigslan ltte: Lut s<h-ii he sauntered in to the Sltiggitt Inn. and then we -aw that a change had come over him. He wasn't armed,— visibly, at least.— and he T.(Te a Mue shirt and a fresh handker chief round his T . t ..k. His eyes were clear and ... something must have hap pened! This v.-as n< t the bad man we knew! ••....- all there.— Sure Eye Simmons, L« Tig Arm Leary, Chopemout Clancy, Sawed <rT Si^tts. Chicago <"le:n. Leggit Sanders. J'uninover Pinctney. Dwarf Duffy, and me. V.'c rubbed « ur eves when we saw Pigskin I'ete. "Don't stare! at mv like that, fellers!" fee «xilainud. as every man in the house vratcbed him jx.ur some water in his whisky. Th..t m itself was unheard of. The next min ute he broke oat: _ "1 admit n." says he. "I do dnnK water in :t. ■'-■• I'm trainin" now. l^i""t the < Id riotous, shootin' iron, drunk an' dis crderly ! 'igskin Pete you once knew," <ays be. "I've reformed. I've been converted to the noble side o" life. Gentlemen; you see me bere now v pleader fer ileaii humane forthan." Shucks! If he'd a said "clean an humane csttin' o* windpipes." an' then throwed a stick «.' dynamite at us, .... .... sur jTisi-d. But this! ■....-.. what'" <^-.s Sure Eve Simmons, when he had caught j.;s Inath. "Clean, humane, manly football, says^ he. "No more brutal singgia*, kickm'. bitin . or rcurm" I've been enlisted in the cause an oeaa to stick to the good work until all the c&xiecessary roughness is stamped f'm the }::.t- forever." Jr. his excitement he takes up the whisky 1-v.ir and puts away a p««! stuT swalkr U- U r»- be sees it's waterless. Then he apologizes, aad says as he's trair.in' it's no more straight good* for him. ■ „ "But nobody plays football round here, tavs Sure Lye.— "cn'lv them dudes up at the i.ss doctor ."scbooL When you goin to be ji: ; with your reform ' ' "I'm coin* to gin right oi you fellers, s-ys be- " Well organize the Sluggrtt Corners {<*"tl aD team right here and now. 111 have a link talk with anybody who refuses to play! He looked fierce, an' we knew he meant it. "Bui we don't know nothin' about foot l </!] " says Sure live Simmons. "So much the better." allowed Pigskin Pete. •• I w. n't i-ave any bad habits to break in you. Pigskin Pete had his way. and the next day we <;.=:::•- out for our first practice. He said Dwarf Duffy should be center rush because he i- " •.>:. feet tall and weighs most a ton. He told Dwarf :t was his duty to h< Id the I ' nd then he made Chopemout Clancy . uiJt«-*«a*k. Vie told Ch.Jp. alter he'd got us ict" p ations (I was a tackle: but I might as v.. '. I ,;-.. been the headman in Persia), totake v- • .:; ..:.' pass :t. He -aid Leary. who was Lalfl a« k, was to back the center First Duffy ■ • I give ap the ball, havir.' been told it .... -. hold it. They pt it away at • . • •.•■:.-. 1.-..V. to Leary, and sic came • m-ard. I>u::y was standin' still, front, traitin' for some one to tell r ■ •.. ,;.. Ti.-xi. when Leary butted him . . .... ;. head, -;.-: he'went prawl •;.:•.■:•■■ later they was tlincheil an' .• rt all ■• r" the field. Pigskin ;. - - ;,ii :.,.:-•:-. ..:.' -ay- :t w, a dis- P - •.• .• g, t 'em separated h-- - ailed !• • ■ hard ■". . • Id sac to buck the center, says !.• •' I bucked him. W : at"s wrong m v. ■ - : . • '• ■■ • aksmc ferdoir." wat y< ■■ tell ,;•:: ./. me too. VVhcredo I get • ff?" ssuj ••..:'■ ■• ••:•.' nose ;:.' ':.:;: -. reduced f Leary from a halfback to a . .-.• man for that, arid fin'lly t.c jr " ::.• hape so we kr.ew when tons i the ball, and what "end " and "'-•:•■• -i. Then he gave us a lot of f.;.V" r -: • .-..- mething, he said, and •■■;.•:.•-• :::.:,.=. k and captain, yelled 'en.. -■■ ■ ,;., '«in. Sawedoff Spotts hu'l et: . ■;.. ::,,,rv that he wrote "em all <^-t on • ■ ixd aad kept :t in his pocket. AzkJ •:. ■ ; -: .. i< t : trouble later. Pig i :• hid arranged <ur llr^t game with •.': doctor •■.•■■ next Sattsrd : tbe news that the famous ghjfptt ■ baseball team was going to SUNDAY MAGAZINE FOR SEPTEMBER 22. 1907 SAWYER take up football brought out a j;re.>t crowd. "Ami remember," says Pete before the game started, "this is reform football. No disgraceful scenes must mark this field, w'ich is to W- devoted to a clean; gentlemanly game." So we lined up against 'era. In the first crash after the game started we were handed two black eyes.' and any number of punches that didn't leave any marks, but hurt just the "They're punchin'!" yells Dwarf Duffy. u-ho could have cat the man ho was playin* against. "W'at'll I do?" His hands he kep' behind hi- back, tremblin' lest he sh'd hand out a swat an 1 break the reform rules. "Be a gentleman?*' yells Pigskin Pete. "Don't countenance their ruffi'nism! Play clean!" The next minute he took the k»11 f« r a run around the end. ll*- gained two yards, was tripped, punched in the eye and nbs, kicked in the neck, and finally the biggest hoss doctor sits on his head. We picked him up, dazed, and his declara tion f< • a ■.'.;•• seemed to be shakin' a little; for h<- was cussin" in good old mi refurmed I'ijr--kiTi Pete style under hi; breath. ""I dun 'no but what you f»tttr punch I a* k a little." says he. "If' we're goin t<> reform these fellers,- we'd better <!■> it right. I'■ n't go to extremes. Jest hold your tinl up." So we cut loose and handed 'em a few jalrs. An«l then they Ix^jan kickin' and scratchin' in addition to punchin': and we n<H»l it for a few drive till Pigskin Pete got kicked and scratched ii prime fashion.'^ "Fight 'em with their own weepons,' says he. "Don't be brutal; but you en < law an 1 kick a little." So we did. And then they began to gouge ...it eyes and bite our ears. They got a touch down by it. Leary, near blinded, comes up showin* his eye to Pete. ! ■ .■:■•• Sanders was holding his ear against his head while I bound it with a handkerchief. "TerrilJe!" says Pete. But be gentlemen; Remember < ur glorious m< tto <>' reformin" football." So we rememl»ered. though it was hard work. An<l then ... doctors ... to know everything we were . in' to do. '■■ we went round the left end, ... were there to meet us. If w*.- went through the center, we found a wall of 'em in front of us. Fin'lly Sawedoff Spc ti sings out that his signal card has been roblied out of his back pocket. "On everything else, they're stealin' things," v aV s ['igskin Pete. And then the first half ended, and we had a chance to count up our injuries .-,: re arrange < iur signals. • - I think we're refonnin* 'em, says Pigskin IVt<- '" '■ think .air appeals fer a ilun. gentle manly expositii n o" this manly sport has had •.■••: beginnm" to see that brutality h..s no place in this game." An' tiit- hoss doctors was gettin' reform^! There was hardly a pair o' eyes on their team .xuy g.^id for seem" things with, though they'd a made some fine decorations in a house in full mourning. Besides, they'd 10-t consid'able blood. Ki«ht at the opening o' the record half l-ej;>:it Sanders gets loose with the ball, and before they ketch him he's got a touchy down. We ... score, and the playing goes on harder than ever. Pigskin Pete bucks the center, aii.l a big boss doctor bites through the back of his ■.■■• hi< shoulder blade, an' another sinks his ... Petes shootin' linger. His heart seems .■■■..•:. v.'cii we bind him up. ■Tin afraid." says he. feclin 1 his ears to sec if he's -til! # t 'em.— 'Tin afraid the only way to stop these fell, rs I itin^ is t<j kr.-«.k t!;«ir te«.th out " "I su'gcst chokin' 'on," saj-s Clancy. ■'Don't be entirely inhuman, Chop." s ;i y- Pete The v. rv next play th<:;i hoss doctors, see ing Pete was cur fjest man; massed together to put him out ••' the game, and when wc picked s:i;n up he was all n;. Kibs» stove, blinded, bleedm' extern 'Uy an' probly m tern'Uy, he cd just get five ■^•■r<\~ out u\ a mouth that was swung aroun<l under his ear. ami ti.-rji words was: - K;il 'on! \y> it gentle." As th<- doctor said afterwards, it was man hood triumphing over will power, but wil power still in the ring, though batteretl. And we went at 'em and jest killed Vm—M. !-■::•::;■ . When the audience tried to rtop us we broke ;:<..•].■ ■ ,-k.T-; t:r.<!er the grand stand and got the h.i ebali bats, and did a g I job till the cops I roke it up. And a, we put Pete to l-ed that night, bound up arm,, legs, neck, head, and ribs, he lisped through a very |—r lookm mouth: • Did we win the game?" "The game." says Sure Eye Simmons, tears runnin' down his cheeks at the sight vi the reformed bad man, "was a tie; but we won the battle." ...... And Pete sank into a blissful sleep. Ihe first step in reform!" he muttered. How Many Cigars Do You Throw Away Half Smoked JUST BECAUSE AT I Hi: TIME YOU I Ml* N'T WANT A LONG SMOKE— JUST A MEDIUM SIZE CIGAR PER HAPS? IF YOU ARE AN AVERAGE SMOKER YOU WASTE NEARLY HALF YOUR CIGARS. ON THE OTHER HANI) YOU OBJECT TO A RE-LIGHTED CIGAR— A STALE QMOKE AT THE BEST. i! IT'S QUALITY Nor quantity you want. here's as fine a cigar as A". •, man could WISH FOR. I] Our Baby (irand Cigar is 4 ii(i mi lies long .mil i-; till.-.! with the short leaves Irom the choice tobacco used in «>ur highest priced clear Havanas. This is LONG CUT. v,, th.a any objection t-. .i short filler is overcome. It i*- wrapped with the most expensive Havana leaf obtainable, and contains no factory scraps, !:<• <hn. ii" '!'.'•■ no stems; just the finest^ mel low, rich Havana, carefully blended. A FREE TRIAL «] All you need do is to write tis on your business letter bead, < r enclose your busi ness i ..i.i and we will send you a l>ox of 100 BABY GRAND cigars I »N TRIAL. i: you like them ml us $.? 75. but ii for any reason you «i" not care for them, return the : ■••■» ance ..t "'iir expense and no ...... be . .•••■. few smoked We pay ix pressage Loth wa«. Our complete line of over v, styles is sold to lu-i ness men; professional nu-n E»art Su€ and clubs everywhere. We make cigars as high ..I each, which compare favorably with ih<^c sold at 2*' sti . 'in the umi.il retail way. , ,r ;.<:r.,J tiim,»at<l thtfr, lilt. ' !1r •.!.>■ -• • tttr- and. tfl'" •>••■•'•■>•'*<•■•' "'i* t'.-y'.l-lt .if'- '• >•■'■■ *« * *•■«.—! >•'■•■■ IF you enjoy a cigar made of clean • tock, by clean workmen in a Iran factory if you appreciate a free-»mok ing, pleasure-producing Havana that tastes good all the way. tend to-day for a box of " Baby Grand " on trial. LA RECLAMA CUBAN FACTORY 1041 Third Avenue, New York City krf. ,. ~- l-t-1.-n 1 ..1...:.' 1. .!■!. !••...,, ! l'-.,-tr—. ■tavr lor yrurM '■" i '"'"" Hoosier Stoyes and Ranges X gj^W •■)..,... „ |h<- world A- «.IJ im M) iln»V F .."......t.-.l i..r ».■;.... -1.M.U..1 b*a _>S ( tc Iti ulatoi *•* »»«.•! Lite 1.i.l Otlcr .^a^^H^^M ~*3F^lf^ '" ' ■ ' 4 I ( . "The Whole Thing in a j\ut Shell" 200 Eggs a Year Per Hen HOW TO GET THEM i he -ntli ..111 I ll •-. begs .',•,: It Urn" .■ 80. t..,|.. K-.-.C.1. rn lar^r.l and in part rewritten. y. P»B«- Contains among Mhrrthinip the method of fettling by wnkfc Mr. S II Ho*, Of Wolf I : N. 11.. •• r. II- i • ■.!}!..- ,-. I.! . •■.•.■! ly the ii^niif.. t,.rrr- of a «« II known . ■ odition i».«.ln I. r I". bnteft: tr. on! •luring the muter in. nthv Simple ..•• a, I . , _ ir t llr guarantee .... bens t«. laying rarliei ami t" tadwe them tilay .„«.«■ 5S than ....y othc. n.rth«l under tl»- sun. The biok aho contains r«i|* f«t -*« (bod and Hni u->-.l I \ Mr Fox. -<tn. h l*out;tn him in nne »mtrr .!.>v CH rv>;s fr«-in 72 lirns : .in<l for five i!ays in «iK<es%i*>n from thr same t!.- k 64 <(rs a day. ■■■'< • >>••■" I tl.iii. ■■« Wc4ft« r>». N II . say. '■ By fitlowini: the fn«-th..U outlined iny.ur!.-.k I nltained M»6 CXX* from <.i X ■ Kr.K in the month of January, igoa." Krran 14 |iillrts"|>kke<l »t random Jrrtn^^o i'^l'w l>,"urn to make it the ittmUrd U..k on rtK |t. dv. lion and|irontt topoiiltr) 1 •"- ■■» ihne ist.. iai.i«...ii.l tells it in a plain. ■ . mmon sense »a>-. I'm r 50 tent*- t with » year's suhsenp boa to th* >m»rif Poultry Advocate. both for 75r.: ■< green :.s a i-mntura to two yearly subscriptions at 50r. each. Ouriai-n 1- han.lsoro«-l> illustrated. 44 toft |a««. 51 ienM ... ntta trial .0 cents i..™,., /... LATA- LoGl't -f i- ■■ltr> Iwksfcre. AMERICAN POULTRY ADVOCATE 114 Hogan Block. >jracusc. N V. ..,« i";i .^:" : 'i l r,v,i".M '^.;":', 11";';,;;.",1 1 ";';,; ;.", i'T.iir ( t!. DAk-«>cyN«ine»* rtheiwhr*. •■• ■ ■ • •ithout cainta! A hii-tirt can <-.imK HMkr M-v-r.,1 tbnuttnd .1. lUrv .. '.r.,1 Writ* fi* frre booklet ..»• t !l.' I I .r. llul h..s n,...1.- Mr w. n.lrrf.iiK >*m»ful LJLWHTMKI «0 U,|l,.m St . New ilrd!...J. M— 10 SOUVENIR POST CARDS IOC lm.iimi »lk»-. uhl our ciub pisn IO» Ton will r,..i>r r»rd. t-.m > I o.rr the worM tut flrh.i.f. IDEAL C«Ki I>«i»t, 130 I><»rch«-Ht«r. Man*. The STAR " Wire Puzzle Latest novelty in :!••.•. line for 10 cents Silver mo stamps! A. M Davift, Ass.. p..-;. M..SS. Patents ■",;. 11 m i 1,;"; ■ Fm ff|«l v M FurabUlit) Illint»tnl Cukle Hook. »:v\>-. MM kl \» .i < i> . \\ AMii>t;TiiN. i». r. nirriiTO W«l«o« i. « «■• man. i •"■* PATENTS *•■■"■' ' * ■'■••• - PA TENTS th at PR OT ECT I R !'s. : \rß.'tflCEy.''washingTon.D.C. Estab. 1863^J UQ METAL POLISH • 0. JOI 1..:,..,,...:, ... i ..w0,.,,,. ■ W« 30l 80 , lOc . Ai Your D«al*r« "YOUR HEALTH! " Hitt.i V ■ ..•■ ■ ■ ■ • ■ ■ . . • • Semi ■ J W WUPPKRMANN II \»..i ::ltl. -....■ m " *""'* 19