Newspaper Page Text
7^T^£)apan£s£ Schoolboy iN Washington yj§||) M^s^woF# Togo (wallace i^in) #1 i£s=M^ll^ *" ORowwes BY mis COUSIN NOG? ( lK£ MORGAN ; f|!!l^^^ ; ' , . ;. ; _ — ZSogo XVcxtches John 2). Trying to Gi*Ve Money Ws*h. P. C. To Editor Tribune, who must frfll ttervou? when he observe Gift Horses truing in Pcntirts' Chair?. Honorary Mister:— ConKTW* is *=uch a »usp«c!ou« npprixa ti..n cf Intellects that nothing arrives then without it Is investigated. They are very Missourian about this. <;entle tna* DOOM to Washington with seal rtiin pu'.t of pajamas. "J have discovered N«rth Pole." he-say for pride. "So did Pr. Cook." report Hon. Con grer.s. -What do I BCt for this art? reqv;lre Hon. Discoverer with voice. -Not sure," dQ» Oonpress, "maybe you Sv-ill pet six months." ••Can I not at leastly expect the thanks Of Cor.sress?" nepotist.? Expl'>re-man With frost liitc of feet. •*O purely you can," collide Hon. C<»ng. •"Dearly evciybody can expect that. Tour number is 31JGU <>n the Waiting L.ist." S<. Hun. niscover<-r <>f N. Vo\* take his yrHn-f far down the line beUrceo Hon. G. rtachot aad Oacar H*nnner«te!n who also expect to be National Heroes some <ivy, if their Ftreiißth holds out. A j^hort time of yore me & Nopi soon Hon. John D. rtockcrfrller enter into the Capitol Bids: with his entire fortune tvrapped tii» i" a pje«-e of paper. To H<m. (latikreper h'--Kay: "I ha\f lieix 1 $^V>.<*M.<XK> which I de *=iro to five t<« the human ra<e.'* "•Came if any:" dement Hon. <;.itr liorp inschently. -I Rtn Hon. John i». Bockerfeller or Tmnytorn* >>*• V -" h« report twisting hi!= "'? phyly in his hand. •Toa ore In Ihe Kixmc compartment of th<> Capitol Hide." reiitjr Hon. Door- Iccep. "This is the Housp of Hepnwma v)vr .^_y,.w helons in the Supreme Court, vh-re you an' now lv ing dissolvofl. "But I v-«sv -«s t<>ld by my FUnoprapher Hon Archybold." say ihH great A- Rood man. "'hat Congres? «a.« the place to More Links from Golf's Endless Daisy Chain n> r. r. ruu*r. CHAPTER II OPEN the book of pojf -<«. at ran- , dom, place your flncfr on almost r- ,ry :,;iracraph. ar.4t!irn reflet. Ask; vii.tiKr th©.*verac« devotee of JFT c*me to p'"vi"S P" lf *" ll " * li""ia i ,;,. ia oteening Ihe ruk* Af ' or ■ linl * thought y.n; tt-Hl si.oo.iiiy become convinced thai .a.!, one play* it in a manner j.o- . tarty hie ..v.iv Take, for Instance, the rt'i*> viiiili i-ad*: •a lan must »"■ piayp.i wherever it i»r?. not the hofc be clvca up." *■ That. «'f <-ourse. admit" of slisht varia tion. Buch vs 1 dropping i<ack f" 1 ™ :t water hazanl for the usual penalty, an 1 ' U>« *"« ut j ,<r bounds.*' It I* remarkable, however. whal n'.\ exceptional memory some colors haw for real «r Imaginary i« •< l rule*, cround under repair, etc Not lone ar" ■ man lopped his «!riv«- amone railroad tr.ii ks Although Uw conditions called for ;■.,'.■ play, thbi Individual, by some pc , .'.;. i ;i- of pcasonituc reached tlw con i i idon thai si< lih.i ib« richt to tec u;> nniT.2 ;n«- tracks s<<r « i>ona'.ty *trok«>. }!;« oMKinent. ■ comparative beginner. Fuppoeed : : :•• other knew \>!ai he »»a lalkim: about i i •: Donceded t'..o polni Kithoat ;< murmur. Similar toddecta m!«hi be cited without sTTi • ■:. '. i >.t there i> bo <«■<<! to ca'i atten n>.;i !••■!-*■ a«ahi to the woful Lack of toou-1- of :. ■ ■ • ~ ■ -.. \; ■ part Of bo many T-;. re is the lie ol tha ball Itself. :i point v.1.,.!i many lako aluico;:.<i i"o Kiiou^i\. At the time of Robert UaxwelTa victory ia 1 the htrt amateur totanament I .. <;:.:,! Bi •■>••■■ there wa* considerable i-oarmeni upon ;. tendency <"« a j'ai? >l ;JUV n- of tlif !.-;t-Jiiip a:natpur« to employ :;.«. i!•i k in preference to ihe brassTe, It La . ;-'. woriM win!.- i" '•<;! attention t<> the (act thai the deck »aa a favorite weapon .i Lbe fate i" C. Talt. who wa> probably il.. prtatest mairt'.T <•: the lons K«nie that t!..- .u..".r vuii.i has <v<i eeen. Derpitc this, Unoug the -.as*. Dumber of nomethlns lest ti;ii:i Orrt cla»» players \\h« tana the back* Uune "f ♦-••'!! both :.vr<- a::d j*br<>ml the ;■•; .■.•!••;. <>i r;.f btasfeie ebo»i n<> >i*n of T. •■ truth j.-. Lhcre la t;o dub in the t«;ic w. •.■• utm <ii<- ;i:uie misunderstood than ;iit: ) ran-io. at "nineteccth iiol«" WKstona, v.j,, n \> < h:.!vsi' lit i^ <!:-' ussr-cj uni the coutm rondemred because the braarfe Uea ere few and fai between, the criticism •.•aM appUea t-» BOtnethlns quite dUTerent lisa t:.r posltioa which that fonaldahla t4ub crtth the metal wle waa original)} lai \.,.t..] to .<j><- with. What in commonly called ■ bra«ne M<- [a tn reality a «3rivor o< . i-'-.-i If there be any Bena* i?i preferrlnaj tbc «in\ » i to the braaai* off the tee. then it applie* equally i" the perfect lie through ih< green. In petal <ii tact. Ihe bntsale «a> 'i*yi?nt4 tor '.ia.viiii :< full i-hot «fT a haul road. [ ..]■ out of j-"ir:(- lie a/liere thr- chase* of Injury to tha aolc <t the ordinary avoudea «iui. va.« equt Qj c*«at. The modern ten dency lfiins toward lh« belief tiiat the forc txm .'!»"t with tii<» «!<-<k. l»hitf «nsier t f> k«-^p mu;^!,i, and it- i bancc <.f artttag the hall .•■v. ay <l<an i ■• ii i • conaiderabt] Kreater, Is preferable to the alishtly hmtjer Kbot with the play dub. tlas] •■! the Ktrofcea :<* bhlch ;t UaxwcU <ir iiii Re** 1 would !-<■ ;i bramde «!«■ «xart- J> of the *<»rt which a rartaJa »-chf»ol of modern golf oV'ms to be ii«-^«»i i«i<l«* by DOtMniE etoe rave a nlbllcfc. A few routid^ «.r the iii^l:^ wtth » roupie of the real li«T<»e^ •)f ti:<- ,"•""•• v. '•■:!' .-i!V 'i • i" ti \':>- ♦•> «-s •>f the 'lift and count" brand. < <ni>- aboul v > « .i r :i^n the ; r<ifi <-sSm;ii George I'uti i an. hi th<« funionv fourwome v.h<i«- be and fclayw encased ttaj and fora Vardon, »s- Umlahed ti:e apectatoM by taking a wooden < !:j!j U> r!ay <<ut of ;t shallow bunker la which l»Ia paTtner*a ••■'■ •-' •<« hafl lefl hjtn. Ti,. ;.■!<• 'mis 131 v ; ' y '- 1032, and Duncan jiui !.-^ ball "■' lb< ::■■:; Althoufin ' *•'' tux su-^^.-M tJjat «:. > i.- exactly an fx.n;i j,l«> tv rntlow. >•'• diOcuitlej an tcmOfl to j<- :i< a<h.. ■;!•■: and by LacicUna :n"n lioMiy II ; , .,,.., . to !•••■ them • f half Lti ■< •<i r > ril ,., ., . . ,-<> vAxcrje loral rule* per ,,..',,; jj « uall li even ellehtly mi i^Med :.< a»U li roar WtjJ "» 4 enJer pen»tt> cf a RTOlte. *.-.er» art thcie BVci .J I.■1 .■ l« i&iif advafiUje Of tilt rule, r«mp with any rash endowment, how ever larpo." "It aint a campaign contribution, ain't H?" rcquesh H.»n. Doorkecp with slight fever of knurkles. "It nin"t," divest Hon. John. ••s.» p.>rr>v depose that inch Officer. "If it was a «-.impaipn contribution, 1 think I could hide it somewhere? where it would bo found." That Standard Oil majrnet commence retreating away with depressed feet. "Leave your i>ackape witli me," say that Doorway man. "and I shall attempt to retail it to tho attention of the Com mittee on Mean Waya who are experts on the Tariff and other method* of e' v " inp money to the poor." So Hon. John D. give his address and depart away, entirely happy to pet rid of t hat money so easy. l>o Hon. Doorkeep walk into Concress p« titlshly with that ?2r»o.«HK»,O0O package and lay it reverently on Speaker's desk. "What have you Rot in that bundle that smells so like Roquefort?? require a Wisconsin man with insurcent ex pression peculiar to one who Is used to home cooking:. "A niro tall old prntleman with a rcmovaMe .«ralp left this at th<» door," say H<>n. D<»<>rk<Tp. "He-say, 'this con tains S:£V ».< h ».« »oi>. •; iravr ii with C«'n p:rr«s to si>rn<J for tho benefit . ■' hi manlty.'" 1•- . . "Do anybody In this Republican rau < u« know how t<< f^nd so mm.li money f«.r t'uo Benefit of Humanity?" rvquesh Hon. Jo-l'nrlc vith hammer. •'Mr. Sprak. 1 move—" l>rgin a ruby halred irrnt from Wjrhita. *'Y<ui arr alwa^V mo\ inc." ,i. pot Hon. Cann<«n. "You are out of i>rdcr, as usual. Mr. Burdock. "Mr. Speak," Bay H^n. Richmond Peachy Hobson arising to his fret with that vappish expression peculiar U> Ma-dOgs, "in thp ■ •■•«• I". i. Onsm Re port there is no nobler act than to Dr. every possible occasion, although fv.cn a. procedure is- both bad policy and bad eolf. This if nothin* hf compared with the farhion adopted in other quarters of r'^V* lr.R at thi* time of the year under what ar» knomn a* "winter role*."" At one or ;«<> of th« cluba this- permits <.f plarins tli«- ha'A to a pood lie after every phot. A« if that wasn't i>3«i enough, sumo <>f t!ie memben liavo misconirtrued this piiviioßo so far a? to ff up. I wonder what old Tom Morris «rouM Fay if h« could return to earth ar.d witnr«:^ s fcijriit like that. Play the l>a!i vrbere it lies ard where \))f ponalJy stroke 1?" incurred. Tt Is rare. Indeed, lhat one with? across ■ lie ro bad that * piod player could not make more by playing It tlian he <<>uM by liftins and dropping. It is quite pwsible that a gal lant recovery rray r«sult in nothing being lost through the difficulty at all. While thin argument may with fairness l>e ap plied to ■ pood player, it i« J>\- no meana trn<» In thf ch-o of a poor ore\ Tl.e knack «f playing really bad He* is bo ni!i«-h a thine by its«-"f and *•» much a matter r.f rraft'ce that tlie inexjioriencej player will frequently f.iil to cet cl»ar of tlie difficulty In one >);«... On the ether hand, this is al! NEW HOME OF THE MEMPHIS COUNTRY CLUB. OF MEMPHIS. TENN, Where golf has been flourijhinq all winter. Ihr- more r«a«-r«ii why h* t-hou'd learn to play it. btherwtoe he win never becom* more i)i*n a "lift arvi drop** player. Ai all events, whether it.« devotees i'ia> in vtri'i accordance with th* ruW «>r n<>t, K'>lf. for AiwrU-iiiis in particular. Is «n un- , tnj.) li.x.r,. As li;ts >i"-n pointr-ii out I.y a wo:i knoini Ftudeni <<T tho subject, th« average America*! given i:j> samea early. tspcclelly if he It not a ootles* man. II« r«cardJ tbeni »•< «-);il<2 i^li and takea uj» v** nn>p- *lu«lve budnen of accamulitlns I \vf-.i!t]i. In <loiiiK ilils he runs tho rifk «if \ raining Ida bcatlh. !•♦• la likfly to become djrapr-ptlc Irriuble and v creature >>1 i»«-i \ • «-. ,H<- will wiik unceaslnsly for eleven n.«.nt!i> f» Ine year, hthl then rush away with b!a family «•< Ihe Mmsbore or Gurope. In ti:<- tatter caae Uo ««k<s up alstitseelna aa ;« bualnewi ami rasbta in-r« an<! there and makea lila \;i<;;«tlnn ju>t n«, <;.iir afforda him Ihe chance <«f settlns nholrvntne recrralton In ;i wholesome way :aK*-.< him <• it Into iii«- oj>c-ii air at j<- a^ i <r.c-- v week, ;«: .<• u.-ir ;u<- pvv who i,u\<- u.t-i ii wlki >\:ll ii"! Ka) «n:it they are l«rtt«T pby»lcall} «<! mentally i"i ih« i,.'?..ra!iT!fc <!i.inc< fruni Urn dull routine of work. Mi. :. uiljht be « ! lik- imnn n-« i-«i.e ?;t thar g-jif h'j>. woikoii «itJi tii«- American women. " i.» Urn one gasn.- tint i^ j'j;*. «» well adapted to r.omea a^ to men, an«i la b/ iar tie Ltst gsuue Xor ttie fco-called NEW-YORK DAILY TRIBUNE. s.NDAV. AI'IMI- v>- I"" "! have here $250,000,000 which I de sire to give to the human race " die f«>r one's country. i have done so from 2 t<> «• times already and 1 endorse It with my entire brain. 1 wish I had ten thousand lives, I would man a battle* ship with myself and go to war against the Yell«»w Peril. T<« die for one's coun try is •■ privilege which should be ex tended to «>vrry American jchoolboy. Therefore" <<hecrs> "I move and second the motion thai Mr Rockefeller's pack age of $2Ti0.000,000 be spent" toward pre paring th<> navy lor the RTeal War with Jaiiaiu Which Is now set for March 15, 1911. War is lull. W!.< n you arc lick ed, it is heller. A quarter of a billion dollars will p<> a great way toward Im jirovidinß our navy——" ■ ■ • ■ I r ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ • ■ I ■ . ■ •W!-a* have you got in that bundle that smell so like Roquefort?" re quired a Wisconsin man with insurgent expression oecultar to one wno is used to home cooking. "No," depose Hnn Hob. "N. .thine »■ enough to build ■ modern Navy. But If Confrr<?f« wish to spend this Rorker follrr Foundation easily and without harm to nobody, I sMißffost 16 sui>rr- Dreadnoughts, each weighing ■ little more than tlio combined navies of Eng land, Prance and Germany. Until we k- '■ thrso wo cannot sleep without an in delicate Benre «>f foar." ir<«n. Hobson -• ' down midst ..f ap plause from Hon. Leslie M. Shaw & other members of the Navy League set ting in t ho gallery. - "Mr. Speak." Bay H<>n. Goldfogl of N. v.. "peace has Its horror more distinct ly than war. Tlu i are in* thln(i that shouldn't do as arc done. Such a ■ will make all the differ*! tn a profes sional as to whether h^ is barely keeping body ami soul toßfther «r whether ho an<l li.^ family are al>lc to lhc In t'.» cent cmn fcrt." THE ONLY ORIGINAL. C,,-nrco Washington waa very small, vry iiiiiik aid very new to the life of th* public <=. !io"l. whk-h he li^d just enterrd. Ilia family had emigrated to the city from some iknovn wilderness, and the official* of tli*» p« linoi hoard had rtiscoverori little Oeorpe ami brnueht him into lino with the proSperta <>f the lrjrher education. It waa M* first day. mu\ tli<- teatlicr was trying to in;ik«' him it Iminc '"Ami 50. your name is (Jrorpe Washing tnn?" saiil tlie t<a>.h<»r. **Vassnm. Jorjje Wasliln'tnn." *".\!i<l 1 suppose you try to he as like him a? ;t lit 11»1 1 »- hoy can. don't you?" * I.ak wlm, »iiatn?" •'I^iUo Cinrs" Wii^-liincton " Tli« '•nun?.<l<T looked puzzled. "Ah kain'l h ip bcln* lak Jorpe Wash in'ton." in »-o;ili«:d sto\itly. " 'cos' tl'.at's who Ah am."— Youth'a ■ :ii|)ani<>ii. ■ . PROOF POSITIVE. \ cortnln captain In the army was sutn !ii<inf<l by his rnlonel to answer a charge «'f as aiilr preferred nj;.iinst him I>y ■ ■entry, who had stated th.it the onV-er Imd useri him rretty roughly one evening at the- Kate of the barracks. A humorous phase <>f .... that the oßirer apparent]; had no recollection of the alleged assault. The sentry had made so hold as to declare that the officer was intoxicated. Among those quest lon»>ri xrtw th« rap tain"? or-dpriv. an Irishman, who protested PRESENT HOME OF THE CHEVY CHASE CLUB. This budding, which is more than three hundred years oid. wriM *oen be derrol ished to make room for a new and modern clubhouse. vigorously that th* allegation of sentry was v fUtiuiT -that In- van Mil . tH« «-up" liiia was perfectly foixr the evening of the iiileß*-<i assault. "Why arc you so nuro that Captain Blank was sober thai evenlnjcT! hr> was i.-kfil. "Did he sp«':ik tn you upon his re turn to his quarters?" "H#> iJiil. .«ir." "What <li.l he say?" '11. tould me to l*> shure s»n* rail l.lm early in the mornin*, sir." "Ar.il <liil tin- captain Kay why he \vlsh<»J :.. he called early?" VVis, Mr. h. .lid, sir. He sal.l ho was <;oiti' to. be Queen <»' tlir May, fjir." responded the orderly with convincing gravity.— Cosmopolitan Magazine. A WONDERFUL MAN. "Mr---. AioiiM tol.i mo tl-.ls afternoon that s!u« lieu r liisf-ovfi'-il until yosterdav what a remarkable man sic ii.nl married. ■".liiii Mould remarkable! Nothing of the kind." "W.-11. he Is. His wife round out yest.-r day tint in- I?* nmhldextroua and can but* tun her cralsi in two places <it <>a of- - Cleveland Plain Dealer. NOT WELL GROUPED. Muffjflna— l dpn'l pee whj v^iin'. ii'nmen on«l conn sin'iiiii always iis grouped to- Bether. RtiKsin I' n* \'i ii»- tiu\ ■houl<l .Miiutin- N>>:'!-iii- !•: Wine im|'!«p\.« it ti ...;■ l-ii.l.i.i. lpiiia Uecord. Dolly Why aren'l you at the <o<iKi;.s ftchoolf Polly— Tta-'-.f-rV laid up with dyspepsia.*- Cleveland Lfalcr. to the Win. Ostler Society. so tnat knock-out should be delivered after six ty years of acf' " "You mean knock-outs f«>r people?" iras question asked by all oldy-men present. "No— for ccgs." report Hon. GoTei. •That Ostler Society. If It had a little more cash money, could Ret after ail Cold Stora^. Including hens, turkey?. nsparaKus and other forms of humor which have been dead too lohpr to be understood. Bo many Chorus Oirl would be removed »>> tho same process that some of our loudest musical come dfes would l>e obliged to dry up. Thusly the public, at minus expense, would Re fresh en and fresh chorus. girls on the laMm of our loadinsr hof'.s." Disinterested to I Jlutomohile 'Purchase™ CHATTER XVI. NOW the autoist comes to trouble There never ha.« been, there isn't now. and there never will be an automobile that run? Just the- way it should all the time. That tar is reserved for tlie millennium, and that is a ''> -i way offj Trouble 1* exasperating, annovinjr, con ducive t.» profanity ami wrath and bitter* t:es<*. Also, its likely to lead to much dis comfort t'.ut there are compensation*. I'nplcasant a* it is to have to Ret out of a car in a road that i.« ten miles from no where and try to find out what the mattrr i^, there is a re-rtain satisfaction about the final discovery and adjustment that makes Up for all the previous discouragement and worry. The thinp for the autoi.-t i? to know how to go to work to find out what b wrong. All vortfl <>f small Iroublea can put a car out of commiysion temporarily. A few of them require tin yervlcc? of a competent mechanic for adjustment. Hut there is not much that can happen to an automobile that will prevent the completion of a Jour ney. • • rliiin precautions should be taken he fore startine. tTlie easolene tank should be ' filled ami care should hf* tak^n to see that th*>r* is in» way In which the precious fl'.iM ran lf-ak In a water cooled »ar the jmutlv of water In thr nuliaMr should bo looked j after, too. both on Martin;; and at Stopping | places f n muto. Lack of gasolene Uas caused more than «»nr "inoxp'.icuhlr" st»>j> l>a*r> <i< the engine, and tlw>»> is littlo ex cum f<>r this particular mishap. Whi-r. tl;»» rt-RJilar runninß «<f ih«» engine In Interfered with ih<> first thlm; to do Ij« t>» make ■.1■ of li;;' the trouble. i.». Fran , lie hurrying around arut lyitiK under the car m m .in no good. Order shoold i>«' Intro* I duced Into the y«-arcli for t!»- tlifiliMjlty; arul it in just as cufv to I.«>k systematically us in a haphazard fashion. If you dm! tjoublr, in«»rxular explosion*, M ■ of the or>Kln« x — ronsith'r first ; thr lsnltlon. If your engine I" equipped I with the tnalv ami break type of lsnltlon I there will lie a conducting »>ar, a but bar, j across the toj» or along the side of th« cylinder*. This Is connected with ti:. -< <n««- .if current, end each Icnltei b i«>:i nected with it by a snitch. If one cyltadei RrcJ properly It Is certain that the gen erator Is working w»-!|. Then tlif> Ignlten ! cau '"» ti'^t^il in turn by cloning. one snitch ami cranking the^nglne. The engine should iuii on one cylindei when th»- clutch Is 'I'- rngacrrd, and if li .iocs no ttif Igniter ••: I the closed switch l-> shown to i* nil right I The next Ikmuoj- tan b? compuiol t<> th< iono Just tested when the next switch 1; Congress Embarrassed 'By Size of the Wad '•What would Loc.mr of sorrte of our feeding Congressman unrt*r such a law?*' dib Jo-Uncl* tvlth. peeved expression. Set down for Hon. Goldjr. Mr. Speech, 1 : iajr Hon. liouttell. "* \is?t fortune <oufd l>e prufUahlously spent in toy District Kevins tensions to Veteran* who \<rf unnU'o to tnlist In the Clvji War because of fright. It was n. .t thefaalt of these beroe* Mr. Speech. that they *lid not llsht in the battle of , Shiloh'fl r.m. T2i"ir hearts v.cr- willing. [but thoir kn"f-s wrr weak. Fear, M I ! Sir; >* one «>f th»* most painful of .-van emotion. Therefore do not tho»« who was ?rnrrf] t'> p> t.» w;ir also suffer for thrlr country equallj t.» them who now Veara crntch'ea on their absent le?a? Answer X Tea! Many «>f my mo?t re |spected iconilltuinta har« b^n s.. broken J in nrrve nt th»« th«tiKht of enlisting in | ISCm that they hay« been disabled to do : any hard work slnce.^ Therefore. I pro pose a bill to g'i\e pensions to these patriots." 'Your bill i^ n.» mon- foolish than the average/! fmuKest Hon. Jo-Uncle. "Have any other Philanthropist a birltfl idea to sp*-nd Mr. P.. K-k»- feller's money?" -It might be expended in fracturing. mashing ft rteam rolling rt;»nßerou.< Trust. b«pinnin^ with the Standard. i Oil," begin Hon.' Polndexter. uf Wash. ••Hon. Senor Sir."* deport Hon. Dun Juan <le 8010. extraordinary r>eteffate ! from the Philippine Islands. "I come ! from the Island of Fans Eton jr. P. 1.. [ where everything is now in th* state i that Adam & Eve left it when they ! broke up housekeeping. You cannot i imapine how happy it feels to live there. Trouble with America is it is always [spoiling thine* by Improving them. ! Hon. Rockefeller could more than mend | what he ha» done to America, if he ! would spend his cash-mooey forming a j Society for the Suppression of Improve ' rnent. All subway lines would be i stopped before they was t*>Kun. Old Po i litkal Parties would be permitted to rot 4 away peacefully. Old building would closed, and the teniter point m*• ad fustadi if necessary. If th- cylinder does not v. ork the stationary lpr.it? r point should be withdrawn and looked Into. The mov able point should be worked hy hand, for the trouble may b© there, if the joint 13 tftucfe or the spans? broken or « •■«!< If none of the cylinders • HI explode when cranked tJ:e connections should be exam ined. Wires break or work loose at times and adjustment is» not ... If th* con nections seem to be all right the trouble rray be in the magneto. It may be incor rectly set in relation to the crank .shaft. If the jump spark lpnltton system is used the crank shaft should bo revolved twice with the circuit closed. The sound of th» vibrator should be listened to attentively. The timer makes four contacts in two rev olutions of the crank shaft in a four-cylin der engine, and. if all th» vibrators are lizard, th«- primary circuit may he acq'iit ted. If one vibrator buzzes the battery circuit may be considered to b<» working properly. Thtn trouble may be souKht in the adjustment of the vibrators oi the- dead coil?, their connections with the timer, or in the timer. One end of a bit of wire should tiien be j touched to the tltn*r Mntll.is post of one ' of the dea/l coils', anil the other to »om» I metal part *»f the engine. t<> form a short : circuit through the primary circuit. sa\e I for the timer and its connections. If the 1 vibrator buzzes then lh;» trouble is not In the cull, bttt in tha i>:irt of tho Circuit cut out. Thou bridge, with the how piece of | wire, the icap between the btitillns ptist on ■ t!u« tini-.T at whlv-h tl>«* \\lr<> frotn the coil I I* connected and any metal part of the , engine. If a btxxa tn the vlbratOT fbltow* i the trouble Is nect^.sftrlly in the tinier It ; -••If A loos«s connet-tion tn the timer, or a I dirty or loose contact, will probably turn uj» as the cause of the trouble. From the Ignition system. lcavirtß the .»i<-»«-on»lary circuit, which U almost sure to I l>o all right, pasa to the carburetor ani! see If thi» Ka.solene Is tlowinj; freely. If the. Kasol.no la iiowlhk to the float chamber a ; touch of the primer will pron It. for the ! gasolene will at a touch flow, or rather ; smirt. through the prlmint: rteni opectes [ Prime the carburetor to ••sees*!. um> if I gasolene Uropa^oul of the air inlet the I spray nozzle la nil right if no gasolene j ippear.-i aroun-1 the primim; stom, ()>«> feeii , !■*»••< in the float val\e may be clo«sr»l. Take the carburetor apart then an>l <lr.-n it. That bi Ilkelj ••• he a!l that us needed. If th'- cnclne vrtll not start after about right rrankinsa besin looking for troabie. , iVrhupa \hf casntene feed has not been •-T- •■•• i vs the IfntUon circuit ho 4 not b«ea no !on*»r be tore down to nuke w^ *.f. f taller and u«!ler on-.*, ah the wfciM railroads would fa!!, becatis* -mm, Wftold want to rid- on them. Busing mm would stop beinjf di«hon«3t. becas,, they would \,m too lazy to think ■ tricks. Ail shops would c!os» •• Ml and nobody would earn for nothlcj n cept baseball and crand opera. T||»» what Civilization was mrant for." Great applau3e from the St*ij(f branch el th» RepuWitan Party. Hon. Jo-fnci» el»vat# his hanimer tt clog- up «or»r» for tfco da/. "Bon Btmtttn." h*-»ay. -r wiih. t t . fora quitting you would nuke a m->tiiM that. tt'HEIiEAS •A larc*- "urn of Money Is Coating •r«.ii. f.»r th«» Up:iftm*>nt 1-1 Imprwi. ment of th- Human Raf». 'Be it Dr.ssoLvi:r> "That SomK of It h* np^nt ir. mimfcj nrxt sumitier CO put a Orand ■'A Eituca. tor bar k In th^ place where he wffl th* most (Jood." Hr.n. Bnutteil dune «o by My ing wo. ilpotine na« th» % n adjourned. Alt Cut. i;res?mHn departed a'.vay sadly, <» t!t»7 had so much mi.r'y on" th*tr mindj thfy wma afraid to be caught alone wit^ themselves. Hoping you ar»> the same Tours truly HA«HIMUTIA TOGO. (Copyright. lt>l«. by ti*" AwviatM litrw' Pr»*» > * FRESH. BUT SPOILED. RTotihs— Toi;n>r BJon*'.-* i' n-xf^'.W fr»*. OTobtiß Ten f»rnl tti« m>'st rem*rli»y» thin*; Is thr«r a.-* a child h» was as3o!ctt» spotlrd.-Phlladflphla Record. THE CHIEF INGREDIENT. Blob*)* — T!.»r* ar" forty-»:^^^ «ilstrc; matrrialM usori in i-'in«frurtinac » pias?. Slobbs— Ye.-', and I'll b«»» forty-fl\» them ar«» noi.i*. — I'Mla'SHph-a n.»curd. UPS AND DOWNS. "L.\> is full of ups and down*,' <&*> the Wisp Ouy. -T*. I*.1 *. wa p'lt 'IP wirln whar tr» ?*r v.% plunk rlo^n for ir." added ;!".» Sinrp'eilul , -Philadelphia record. ; s-svltched en. frar.k quickly. "■-• m cranking will not draw enough ?asol*r»K of the spray nesz!e. There may Ml much primir.ic. in which case the mMi will fc# too rich. If the weather tJ « cold, slowness of evaporation of Ml gasolene may account for refusal tff fit engine to start. In that case pack -*•■ buretor around witn heated cloths. T!i i squirting n f » little gasolene into t£f • Inlet Is al3O likely to allow starting. Irregular explosion 1 * or mii»»i-< of tip ••ions are very common iiign* of trosSs This trouble is easy to detect, but tr ; hard to locate with precision as to th» 9B i insf cylinder. Tf the missins is ccrstr: however, the exhaust pip<» of tSe c£ cylinder will b» cooler than those tfti i others. If the missive is tntermitteat^!? | down all th*» vibrators but one. < If the cylinder correspcnrtir.s f» •s » It i one run* steadily, release nr.>» of > '•••" ' instead, and so on. until the ©no *!KI missinsr is discovered. Then disconnect secondary wire of this cylinder fMI •» ! pins and no!<l it about l^alf an irc?i t* , from the plus: terminal whii^ cr<«nkiSSS I engine. If m spark fas."- 1 - when ' »*■ ; makes contact, the trouble is in m& I wire or col!. Tf ther«* is * s""i spirit it 1 I probable that the spark pluts •« fmkt that there la a J<reak in Its i:nu!atia.J that th» poir.f.o are too far apart. , If the se-omiary circuit is all right. P? mixinsc in t " i ♦■• oaniuret'ir rr.c. have *••• the miasinfr. or v bad'y rtttir.s «^»- 5: valve, permittins the burned < ■**» •• - drawn back. weakt*nin? the rharg» ■ • cylinder, or a broken inlet spring or t sticking of an Inlet valve, which lattfrt* defects keep the mixture from br.st - tamed in the combustion space duri:;'- 1 ct»TT!pres!<ion stroke. • Sometimes an tttgfxu wID miss oiw ' high speeds. The battery may I* - ! we »k. or loose connectiws ir.ay 6» j*^ l | by the high speed. • OccastonaQj an ensri:'.** tv:!'. start w«ilfc «oon stop. if t'".»» battery is nearly • hausted a rest will enable it to recuj«* enough, to sivo a k>hM sp.irk at first. W the effort wears It out iun'<!y. An « boond supply tank may Ihp respor.siblt t!-is trouble. Pre-isnition makes tnv.;h> at time?. ** the mixture U istn!t-'d before th» U 3^ circuit Is closed. Th!.< may be due to «•• heatlns. or to tacl of proper lu&rtci* 5 or t>> the deposit <?f carbon Jn the rt^ bustion space, which will 6#coro»tecO^ cent and fire the ohame t^o noon. i ONE EXPENSE CUT OFF. . Yd like ro know." •aid the curicui #^ sen. how the country I* »ny better ♦- •CCOtai <if the North Pole bmvtss t«*3» t^vered." *, "Can't you »«>e. mv frlewK" »*•<* t-vi. tinsuished explorer. 'The country «£, have to ray m:r expenses for sn^,E« trips in search of the North Pole. '-i-* w Triune. ALL IN THE FAMILY. 'I certainly admire that trun." "What ;n the world tot?' "'His wtU power." "He has no will power at a"- "\Vh\. he told me that ho ju»t «*;, his mind to quit ssnokinj:. •<">' h * K sre> "lies lylns; wtf« msd« up W "^ and he quit."— Houston Pwt . • HIS VANITY FLATTER^' "That caodUfata insists that I>* *** featad by the trxists" -Ti^f "Yes.' answered S.-ti.it.'r JJ J < ir < f ' u !"' a ! W *9 : ever .« nvin nets th>> worst of it "\, # c^» console himself with »he h!e* '7*^7! j> I mlslrty bitf antaKamst."-VV*shtn»' U4i HE SHUT HER UP ~^o "Why «r«> jou »!i>« v- 1 """ wif * <• . r , I ""OK I acknowledged that I'd ■'-"' 1 «-f myself in nn lato-t deal. •'"VrZJt *^ brciiusf .xho has n» chance t>» « r * me ulnmt lt."-riev»!and L*M'*- A CLEAR FIELD. "I think Jd rather h* an honest tn«» I » rich nun. lhe>c »Kiys. ' ■I -But whyT" . ..nj^titic* "Rich mm have *» much cocoP*" . j Cleveland Leader. \ THERE ARE MANY Ll*«J* •u i;.ii kind rf .1 story are you r< "It'» a mystery story V "\Vh«rs the inynteryr' ..••l«»l r I 1 "The fact rha*. an>bHv cona«— ~ * 1l1 l lish tt."— WaiUiajtca fiur.