New-York tribune. [volume], May 08, 1910, Page 2, Image 54

About New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924

Image provided by: Library of Congress, Washington, DC

                
o
I^'Baseball i^gcie^oDtbe^tyx.
j 'Being a History erf the Most K^emarKfible
Ueams E**Oer Organized Anyiovhere.
For fear of misunderMar.dir.n. it should be rpmombfrpd that the Hades of ancient
m- tholoav •»*• not. like our H?U. reserved for bad spirits only. The shade* of the good
wens ihofe also, existing without discomfort: but the wicked shades suffered tortures.
- - . By Jim Nailum.
rt< IME was dragging heavily alor.g the *bo wants to take a bet on this can get
X «.= dragging heavily a'.or.g the •*• wants to take, bet on this can get
55SJ The shades T,ft, ir uU *.«- goes a « ™
J- that had '•"*•«««* world a o^ .on or Three-Finger^rown or George Mul
beca-ferried across^ great b> old Ita would do when Hercules and Samson
Charon had exhausted their mean. of ™t'r 1 _ n a rQW?
t*inment. and as Ben Franklin. rtadf , arf . that the Inflelders would
vho edited the local P*^'-" 11^ 11 . 0 "' 1 .?- be backing W against the outfield fence
something would have to be done to help , netting their blocks knocked
rut in the time during the ccmlng summer. a baseball lot on the clr-
Thus it was that Mike Kelly, a shade j -^ bJg enough to kpep tne slams
.*• had enjoyed some little notoriety In Mnm of ours lns{de the
the American national game before ne ] nd . you can take it from me. if Sam
crossed the Styx, came rut with a propos - , Hercu]es ever landed on their star
ton to organize the River Styx BaseDau . chefS there they d tear down the
league, for l»« purpose of playing games | outfield fence
during the summer for the entertainment { .. Then hpre - s 0 ,, r Mmd Mercury the
of die numerous shade* who gather at this winK . footed kid what chance would any
■KB known way station on the line of the bum catcners up there have to
under world. . .. . .t. t I throw hlm out i ing? I'm willing to
Some of the fore.gn shades who dldnt hundred to on that Mercury can
know anything about *"•*•"**■ thlriK second and third on one pitch against
miich of tbe idea at M. Henry (nrtac {hat ew craw , ed Imo a wind .
thought a dramatic club. »,th ua.ly mat-, -* gome other Mlova
: ,s. would h. Of more interest, while here that can go some. too. Here's Philip
■lggifii i who did pome pretty fair running at the
P Thrconn-nver S v whs finally settled at . , battle of Bull Run. I **••• +*U be fast
luUie eetta* 'presided over by Julius ; enough on the bases, all right.
Ca^ar. by adopting all these suggestions. "Take it from me, g entlem en >, urj
inasmuch as one form of entertainment ! going to see baseball along this little old
would not interfere with the other, base- River Styx this summer the like of which
hall forming the entertainment during the you've never seen pulled before. Think of
afternoons and lectures, theatricals and ; this for a batting order: Mercury, as a
prizefights for the evening hours. j fast man, to lead off; the heady Plato to
At a separate meeting held for the pur- j hit next and advance the runner, although
pose of ..rga:nz.ng the River Styx Baseball j Mercury won't need any assistance in order
League and placing the contesting clubs in j to get around the bases: and then Samson.
Hie flcH. Mike Kelly made a stirring speech. j Hercules and Goliath coming next to clean
In which lie showed that they had the ma- up. Say! that's enough to give any pitcher
tcrU.l along the Styx for getting together i palpitation of the heart.
the strongest circuit of baseball teams ever ■ 'And just imagine what a shortstop we
ocsaatsed. an make out of Geryones. our gigantic
"Gentlemen." he said. "1 think you'll a!l be I Greek friend, who has three heads, three
will Ins ta admit that I was no slouch my- bodies, six hands and six feet. I'd like to
self in my .lay. Some of the new arrivals ■ .*> any guv slam a hit through the Infield
here leal m* that the papers up above are -with A shortstop like that on the job. You
ni'.l printing stories about the stunts I used „a n take my tip. with three weeks' coach
to pull off on the baseball lots. It was only • ln<? j-jj nave Geryones covering that whole
yesterday that I met a 'fan* from Pittsburg , jnfleld with his. six feet and six hands and
vha had lust come' over the river on «'ha- p c n £ them off the first base line,
r<.n old boat, and he told me that they are j "Then here's Ulysses, who had the best
measuring catcher* yet up there by the ; rnW i np arm ever seen at tht, old Greek
standard 1 act in the old days, and that ' ranie)!- for a star pitcher, and I guess
this jruv Johnny Kling, whom they made so G ,, !iath nerP can te n you that David is no
much fuss about getting reinstated, is a i slouch vith that j-,, ng of n s . -^-jth tnai
l)ik«r compared to what I was. I'm not coßtro j of his . David ought to help a lot in
handing this out. gentlemen, in a spirit of the her's box.
boasting, but haat to show you that l know ; " '.. There ' are others nere too numerous to
what I'm talking about when I say that ■ mention who ought to make a hig hit in
we've cot better material here, with a little , baseba]l There - S Atlas , who h as quite a
roaohin*. than anything now wearing: | reputatlon for handlinir the *«„, and AJax
Kj.ikcs in the big leagues up above. ; and , awath whom nfrfe!low here says
Ive been having some late baseball dope : a gt a h , s m
irom the upper world sipped to me by the Hiawatha kid won't
late arnvals here, as I m a little rusty on outfleld i
. . , , rover some ground in the outfield. I only
t'ne late neve, and they tell me that the ° ■ •
3 ns' r.re all dippy up there over the work ! mention these few to show you gentlemen.
of > Dutchman named Hans Wagner, from ! that we've got class here ,f it is only de-
I'ittKhurc. and a guv named Ty Cofeb, up veloped and that th River Styx League
id Detroit. I've got the batting averages of ™' 1 have to tak « a bark seal for an
th<se puvs here, and you can take it from j ° em " .
me we've cot several fellows here who can
'vjn<- up the lot with >m when it comes to
aaeVaaaaar the hall. Any guy in the house
Queer Peoples Described by
a Veteran Traveller
Many XOays of Getting
*BreaK.fast Employed
by "Primitive Man.
CHAPTER XI.
SO far as the South Sea Islander has a
breakfast table there is one article
of food which appears there as rep
ularly at- do«>s ham and eggs on the table
of -the Eglishman— namely. the cocoanut.
But no native think* of mating the cocoa
nut after the hard s=hell with which we are
familiar has formed— he considers it is then
only Jit for copra or the pigs. He eats
them while they are still preen and tender,
ami h!s agility in ascending the tall palm
»r*es. without a knot or branch till the
lop is reached, •= extraordinary.
There are other products of the cocoanut
jialm of which the native is very fond.
These are the land crab*, which ascend the
trees, and w«H. if they are allowed, devour
Ike nuts, which, in pome barren islands,
si*- almost th*» only food of the natives.
Therefore, to save his nuts, as well as to
Ret a welcome change of diet, the native
Fives chase to these creatures' whenever he
can.
Sometimes he attacks them in their hole.
The crabs are enormous animals— generally
about two and one-half ' feet from tip to
tail— and very powerful. If there are two
entrance* to the hole th© native pushes In
a Jishted torch at one side, whereupon the
crab hurries out on the other, and Is dis
patched at leisure. Sometimes the man
put** his hand right into th» burrow and
jabs at the crab with his knife; but this is
rather risky.
The favorite plan is to hide in a cocoa
nut ivf till a crab is seen ascending a
tree. When he reaches the top and is
coir.fortably browsing th« native climbs up
half-way and fastens a band of grass
round the trunk. He then slides down
scan snd makes a heap of sharp coral
stones at the base of the tree. Presently
the crab comes slithering down backward.
fetling with the unprotected end of his tail
whether he has reached terra flrma or not.
FALL MAKES HIM EASY PREY
When his tail comes in contact with the
belt of grass he thinks he has com* to the
bottom, and lets himself go, and comes
down crash on th"c heap of stones made
ready to receive him forty feet below.
This usually severely injures him. and he
native finishes him off and returns iri
umphar.tly home with his succulent prey.
The native of the South Seas would be
an much at a loss without yams as the
ordinary- Bnglishman without bread. Now,
yams— wKich form such an Important part
In domestic economy '"below the line"— are
roots, something like giant and misshapen
potatoes in appearance, and the amount of
yam which the native can stow away is
cTrajethlng.amazTng.
The Motuar.s of New Guinea have a
curious story about the origin of yams.
They think that yams first grew from
bones. This was how ii happened. A
Motuan girl who had five brothers married
a cannibal who lived some distance away.
The brpthers came by turns to visit her
and four of them were, eaten by the can
nibal husband. The wlfja, however, kept
their bones, ani when the fifth brother
came, instead of being eaten like the
others, he succe**Je.(S in killing the canni
bal husband and returned to his home with
the bones of his brothers. The bones were
iuly mourned over and buried. When the
relative* vud/ed th« place where the nones
••ere buried some time later they found a
fitrstng* pail growing upon the grave, and
en digging up the bones found th«-y had
turned Into yarns of ' different colors and
$Izk*. ■
"'Our greatest trouble, however, will be
to find a man down here to act a? um
pire. I would suggest that we send our
The Borneans especially the Kayans and
K>nyahs. catch fieri by poisoning them with
a plan? called tubn. which seems to suffo
cate them and causes them to rise to the
surface. Expeditions for this purpose are
made into regular picnics. The native? set
off to h part of some mountain stream
which is shaded from the tropical heat by
high trees, festooned with orchids and trail
ing with creeper*. Men and women are
decorated with gaudy beads: there is much
fun as th<= canoe? are paddled up stream:
there is racing and jostling and continuous
laughter.
In each boat is a quantity of the tuba
root, which has been gathered a day or
two before in the jungle. The fishers, how
ever, take care never to use the word
••tuba." When reference is made to it it
is called abong. which is a strong smelling
root of a somewhat similar kind. If the
etranger inquires why "tuna"' is called
"abong" the explanation g*ven is that If
they called the thing by its real name, and
did not call the fish daun (leaves), the pry
ing beetles would carry ihe news to, the
flsh of what was Intended, and the latter
would keep out of the way. Indeed, if they
used the proper names, and the flsh were
aware of their Intention, they might call
upon their medicine man. the balira, to
bring down heavy rains, which would
cause the streams to become torrential, and
then nport would be impossible. But, by
calling the fl. c h daun < leaves.) and tuba
abong, the natives are quite convinced they
fool the flsh.
The method of using the tuba is as fol
lows: A dam is built to prevent the flsh
from escaping. The tuba roots are pound
ed to a pulp, and the pulp Is steeped in
water in pome of the smaller canoes and
washed till all the Juice le extracted. Then
a whitish clay is added to make the poison
spread and sink when put in the river.
Some of this mixture Is first put In a spe
cial pool for the benefit of the spirits, all
the flsh obtained therein being dedicated
to them, though it must be confessed that
the economical mind of the Kenyan leads
him to select a pool from which few are
likely to be caught. Then the canoes con
taining the poisonous mixture are upset
into the water
The fish soon rise to the surface, and the
sport grows fast and furious as they are
chased ar.d speared or netted, while the old
people and children are stationed on the
banks to catch the Email ones and drive
the fish into the middle of the stream.
After the flsh have been captured every
body lands, fires are lit and much of the
catch eaten. The natives gorge themeelveß
to their utmost capacity, while the remain
der of the fish are dried and salted for fut
ure use.
The aborigines dwelling on the Gulf of
Carpentaria, in the north of Australia,
never use their canoes for anything but
fishing. These canoes are dugouts, ren
dered more stable by outriggers weighted
on either side with a heavy log. The blacks
know most of the European methods of
fishing; but besides these they have a plan
of their own. They catch a sucker ash.
keep It without food for a day or two. tie
a string to Its tail, paddle out to sea, and
then let It go for some big p«h— turtle or
dugong. The eucker holds on for dear life
■to its prey, the blacks gingerly pull in the
line. And when the fish comes near enough
dispatch it with their *pear».
The manner in which the Au«tralia.ns
hunt the emu if ingenious. The emu gener
ally comes daily to drink at the same water
holes along the same tracks either in the
eerjy morning or at midday. The bird
usually spends some time drinking, so the
hunters have plenty <>f t;m«' to rig up a
net right across the track. As the emu
jjantn the place where the IPafJftMl *re
NEW-YORK DAILY TRTBIXE. STXDAY. MAY 8. f9W.
friend Diogenes out with his lantern to
look up a good man for the job."
Then Ed Delehanty and Ezra Sutton rose
and \olunteered to help Mike Kelly coach
the various teams of the league and show
them the science of the game, and Charon
offered the suggestion that as the scientific
end of the game had made such wonderful
progress lately it might be well to send a
few representatives to the upper world
occasionally to watch the big league, games
there and keep In touch with the situation.
Being shades, these representatives from
the Styx would be invisible, and could even
sit on the bench with the different teams
up there and overhear their conversation
and secret discussions. Charon said he
would risk having his ferry franchise taken
away from him by breaking his agreement
and taking these representatives back Into
the upper world, and if games could be
arranged between the team winning the
championship of the River Styx League and
the one winning the world's championship
in the upper world, he »'a,i willing to take
a chance at ferrying the team and any
• fans" from the Styx who wanted to take
in the games over the river and into the
world they had formerly lived in.
hidden they rush out and drive it toward
and into the net. where it becomes en
tangled, and it is easily dispatched with
boomerangs or spears.
In the neighborhood of Lake Winnipeg—
between it and Hudson Bay— used to live
the Salteaux Indians, a wild but noble tribe,
many of whom suffered great hardships
from want of food in the winter. Their
greatest luxuries were the boiled head of
the moose deer, bears' paws and beavers*
tails. A missionary who went to visit some
outlying villages was invited to partake of
the first named dainty He hack#d off
6ome pieces with hin hunting knife— to
have produced a knife and fork would have
been a deadly insult and was making good
headway with it when a friendly Indian,
who had been tearing his meat, held in two
very dirty hands, apart with his strong
teeth, looked at the missionary's piece, and
quickly exchanged his own half-gnawed
portion for it. saying his was much the
better piece. This was a great sign of
friendship.
Nothing astonished the Indians more than
to see the white settlers planting potatoes.
They themselves, when being taught to
farm, could never be prevented from dig
ging up the potatoes the next day to see
how they were growing. One settler em
ployed some Indian families to plant his
potato field, and gave them the seed pota
toes for the purpose. They were slow In
Some , Disinterested v
to Purchasers of Automobiles
CHAPTER XV ill.
The purchaser of an automobile should
look carefully to the extras, the little items
of equipment that are so essential to com
fortable enjoyment of a purchase that
should give a great dea! of pleasure. Cer
tain standard equipment goes with every
car— lamps, horns, tires and so forth— but a
good deal of difference In the price of
cars is represented sometimes by extras.
A fully equipped car In many cases will
turn out to be a good deal cheaper than a
car less completely supplied, even though
the latter may seem at first sight to be the
more nttractive proposition because of
lower advertised price.
Practically all advertised cars are repre
sented as selling at a certain price. But
the same car will cost lees If It is bought
in one place than in another, for frriich 1
rates are Included, the price being in al
most every instance quoted free on board
»t the point of manufacture. This Is only
one factor that Is to be considered. There
are a good many others.
The business of selling automobiles is a
highly competitive one. Eixcept in the
cheapest cars profits, however, Tare still
very large, as must necessarily be the case
with a product costing ho much and, there
fore, so comparatively little used. Auto
mobiles, of course, ar* growing commoner
exery day. More and more of them are
sold. But the fact remains that the seven
millions, roughly speaking, of persons In
the State of New York hns bought only
a hundred thousand automobiles since the
state began issuing licenses for them. An
estimate of the number of cars that will
be sold in this country next year for .all
uses is 400.000, and those 400,000 cars, if as
many as that are sold, will have to go
around among something like 90,000,000
person*.
These figures are cited simply to show
that there is a distinct justification for the
high prices, speaking always comparatively,
of course, of automobiles. They are luxuries
in most cuu, although lomi business men
This announcement created such en
thusiasm for baseball along the River
Styx that all opposition faded away and
the league went through with a whoop.
The following Saturday "The Styx
Weekly' Gossip." Dr. Samuel Johnson,
editor, came out with the announcement
in red ink on its front page that owing
to the increased interest in haseball "The
Gossip" had increased its staff by employ
ing Charles Dickens, Homer and Carlyle
to dish up the sporting dope. This was
considered quite a beat over Ben Frank
lin's paper, "The Advocate." but Ben came
right back at hjs contemporary by hiring
Thackeray, Dryden and Omar Khayyam to
look after his sporting page. It was evi
dent that the "fans" along the River Styx
were going to get the baseball dope handed
to them in proper shape.
As Mike Kelly had predicted, a great
deal of difficulty attended the question of
procuring an umpire. But this question,
too, was finally settled by Diogenes com
ing into the league headquarters one day
leading George Washington by the hand
and reporting that George was willing to
act In that capacity.
The organization of the league was
HOW LONG WILL THAT BE?
The Critic — \ don't call 'im good tem
pered or he'd wag His tail when I pat his
head.
The Professor — Und so he will pres
ently, .when der idea has had time to
travel.
Q — Th« Bystander.
getting the work done, and, after having
paid them, the settler was surprised and not
altogether pleased to find they had peeled
and eaten the potatoes and planted the
parings. JOHN FOSTER FRAZBR.
and physician* may fairly clays them as
necessities.
All these figures are interesting, the pur
chaser may say, but in what way do they
affect him directly? There is a big margin
of profit even on the comparatively cheap
cars, that large net profits may make up
for small gross sales. There Is keen com
petition, despite reports in some quarters
that orders are outstripping capacity of
output. And in necessary extras, a feature
■which the automobile trade has worked out
to a splendid efficiency, (he sales agent
finds his opportunity to cut rates in a cer
tain sense without violating contracts that
call for the maintenance of prices.
One thing the intending purchaser should
bear well in mind. That is. no matter how
desirable one car may seem, the sales agent
of another may make his own mnchlne ap
pear just about as attractive. There is a
good reason for this ability of the agent
who can do this without deviating at all
from the truth, and that Is. allowing
for the superiority of each car In one nmall
feature or another, there has been so much
work dono of late toward standardization
that several firms tn each prk-e class are
now making cars of approximately equal
merit. Therefore, let the purchaser main
tain an open mind until he has drawn his
check for the car he finally selects. Such
a mental attitude will probably save him
money. t
The condition in the retail trade at pres
ent redounds to the advantage of the canny
purchaser. He wants an automobile. He
wantH also a magneto, two hlgft-power
lamjis a really powerful horn, a top that
will protect him and his passengers from
the stress of all sorts of weather, jacks,
tools of all the aorta that are necessary
for automobiles, a holder for spare tires,
and other sundries. All these things, theo
retically, cost extra.
But some of them, at least, should be in
cluded "In the equipment of the machine as
he takes possession of It, and they should
all be of high quality. Many cars are
equipped with sum* of these extra*. Sum*
, finally completed with four clubs, the
, Elysian. L,ive Wires, the Brimstone Reds,
; the Sulphur Stars and the Hades Hornets,
i playing on alternate days. Solomon was
unanimously elected president of the league
' to settle all disputes, and Horatio, who
I had worked up a reputation by effectually
! holding a bridge against all comers, was
' appointed official gate keeper,
i When opening day arrived th* whole
; population along the banks of the Styx
flocked to the grounds.
The game was scheduled between the
Hades Hornets and the Sulphur Stars, and
the following batting order of the teams
appeared on the scorecards:
I HADE? HORNETS BrWHTR STARS.
' Mercury, 1. f. Hiawatha, c. f.
Plato, r. f. Philippides, r. f. ■
! Goliath. 1 b. Ursus, L t.
! Samson, c. Hercules, 1 b.
| Geryones, s. s. Cyclops, c.
Hector. 2 b. Thor. 2 b.
Atlas. 3 b. Socrates, s. s
' Spartacus. c. f. Kzra Sutton, 3b.
i Ulysses, p. David, p.
When I'mpire George Washington an
! nounced the batteries and threw out a
brand new baseball, which David began
! to rub tn the dirt before pitching, the
your Boy's Life XVorK..
tO hat Shall It *Be?
Uhe Customs Service Af
fords Opportunity for
a, Useful Career.
By C. W. t lennin«s.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
ONE of the most interesting oppor
tunities to start on a successful
business career offered by Uncle
6am to the persevering American boy
Is to be found tn the customs service.
It is true that advancement is a little slow
at the beginning, but it is certain to come
with time and increased capability. One ol
the best things connected with it 1 s Uiat it
affords those" engaged in it an excellent
chance to prepare themselves for any lu
crative outside employment which may
offer. One who has served an apprentice
ship in some division of the customs ser
vice is far better prepared to conduct many
kinds of business requiring an expert
knowledge of such matters than is the
man who Is without this valuable experi
ence. As a stepping stone to something
really worth while an early training in the
customs service has often been of the great
est value.
When your boy is making his start, how-
cars are never supplied with them, because
the make Is so well established that the
demand really exceeds the supply. But in
other cars that are Just as good shrewd
bargaining will save the purchaser the
price of som« of the added equipment, if
not all of it.
Dealers are not allowed to give more
than a certain fixed discount, because
prices must be maintained. That is pare
of thp contract with the manufacturers.
But there is r-othing to prevent them from
adding to the equipment of the car as tiiey
choose, to obtain business, and if Smith
is willing to equip the car he handles with
a magneto. Jones may find that he can add
a cape top to the magneto in the sale
of his car.
: As has been said before in this series, it
is an' excellent' plan to buy your car in
your home town .or in your own territory.
Eut the' point is really worth emphasizing.
The dealer in the town in -which you live
lls your intermediary with the manufactur
er. If the car does not at first run with
mechanical smoothness and precision the
| dealer, if you bought from him, will attend
:to such adjustments as may be necessary
and make things easy for you. He will
give advice on many email points of op
eration, care and maintenance and prove a
good friend In many ways.
Agencies fur automobiles are assigned
territorially, and if you live in one sales
district and buy in another some trouble
is likely to result. There is little advan
tage, as a rule, In going elsewhere for your
car unless you live in a town so small
that there Is no competition at all. and
that is not a frequent' condition. Of course
small suburban towns are included in the
districts v of the large cities contiguous to
them, and the dealers in these cities will
treat • the subur purchaser as well as
the buyer who lives In the city.
•Don't be in too much hurry to buy your
machine. The •pleisure will 'keep, and be
all the keener, If a good car is obtained,
and the money saved in, ttr« cost in this
entirely legitimate way will come in, handy
tot little luxuries later. Don't be too eager.
■.• i- ■ .--..-■ '•• '* •'■ •
great crowd fairly held Its breath with ex
pectancy. But when Mercury, the wing
footed kid. stepped up, to th© plate with
his bat, and David, adjusting the ban in
his sling, shot one over w^ich Washing
ton called a strike, the rooteru^cut loos*
with such a yell that Mary Queen of Scots
neafty fell out of the grandstand. • .< . >
• Mars tried to- jump on to the field, to lick
the umpire, as he said the ball was two
feet over Mercury's head, and Washing
ton ought to have his eyes examined If ,he
thought that was a strike.
Then David lost the location of the plate
and walked Mercury. The wine-footed kid
never hesitated a minute, but started to.
steal on the first ball pitched., and -showed
such a burst of speed that he- swiped both
second and third before the ball chugged
into the catcher's mitt. Cyclops, the one
eyed giant catcher of the Stars, couldn't,
even see him, let alone throw him out.
This looked like a cinch for the Hornets.
But Plato bunted at the next ball pitched
and popped up a ; little fly. which David
nabbed and doubled up Mercury, that
speedy kid having such a lead that he had
no chance to get back to third. -
Then. Goliath came up with a telegraph
pole -for a bat, and the outfielders began
climbing the fences. But he never got a
chance to swing his club, as David soaked
him between the eyes with the first pitch,
and knocked him flat as a pancake. David
explained that he never could help hitting
that fellow Goliith between the eyes. { . ;;
With 1 Goliath on first. Samson came up to
the plate- with a jawbone Instead of the
customary baseball bat. and a dispute arose
as to whether he should be allowed to use
It to bat with. It was referred to Solomon
to decide by "Washington, and Solomon al
/owed Samson to go through with it. inas
much as he had done his best hitting with
a jawbone
David showed his noodle a .little here by
determining to walk Samson and' take a
chance on Geryon^s, the six-hantlM giant
who followed. ; That kind of hitters all com
ing up In a row was enough to give any
pitcher less cool and collected than David
a brainstorm. ' '
David's headwork was all right, but he
miscalculated Samson"? rea<h. On the third
ball pitched Samson reached out and raisght
it square on the pickle with his jawbnne.
The ball burnt a blue streak through the
atmosphere a mile over tin centre 0«d
fence, and the Hornet rooters got of OB
their hind legs and let out a yell that caused
the seismograph at Washington to jump
clear off the map and started another earth
quake panic in San Francesco.
But these rooters hadn't taken into con
sideration that Hiawatha, the guy who
could step a mile at a clip with his magic
shoes on, was playing the centre field ,">b
for the Stars. At the crack of the jawbone
Hiawatha went over into the next county
in one jump, clearing the centre field
fence by half a mile. With the aid of a
powerful field glass. Umpire Washington
followed th« flight cf the ball and aaw
a figure leap Into the air from the hilltop
two miles out in the country and pull it
out of the clouds. Hiawatha had pulled
off the most remarkable catch ever seen
on any ball grounds, robbing* Samson of
a home run and the Hornets of two scores.
It had now become as plain as a wart
on a debutantes nose that it was no or
dinary brand of baseball that was to be
dished up to the "fajr*"' along the River
Styx, and Homer and Thackeray and the
»ever, he .will of course have to begin at
■ the very bottom, unless he should have
j had, special training; in some one line 'and
! is' ready to start in a higher post.. / In this
event he would -have to "be' at least twenty
one years old. for only beginrters; can iV-.be
i under that age. -This article, however, is
J written for the boy, and riot the man.
: We shall therefore assume that your boy
' Is sixteen or a little over; is in goo! health
[and knows how to read ..and write and do a
: little figuring. He will have' to take a Civil
i Service examination before the commis
! sion, but its scope will not be more than
I ordinary, and. after he has gone through
| all the formal requirements, specified by
j Uncle Sam his. name will be .added to the
j list of eligibles. and after a few weeks or
! months he wilt be notified to report for
} duty. He may learn all he has to do by
1 writing to the Civil Service Commission at
I Washington, which, has ready a lot of
| printed documents containing information
, and instructions.
> ■ His first work will be that of messenger
j boy. tor which he was examined, and his
i pay 5360 a.year, or $30 a month — raiher'more
i than messenger boys are paid in civil lire.
| He cannot advance above this grade until
i he is twenty, when he will be eligible to
; take the examination for regular mes-
I senger. But during this time he will be
j making himself capable in his own Sine
! and that immediately ahead x>t him. so that
j he can pass the comparatively simple ex
1 amination with flying colors and ' be rate'l
one of the best In the division with which
he is connected.
This examination, known as the third
I grade, is on the following subjects: Spell
i ing, arithmetic, letter writing, penmanship
; and copying from plain copy. It is nut an
', advanced examination on these topics, only
the simpler problems and as to efficiency.
| As soon a.? he passes it and is promoted
jto the formal post of messenger his pay
will be increased in one jump to $S4O a year,
or $70 a month, and' he w;lll be set to doing
i more important duties in the same line he
| has been following. This work he must
' pursue for a year; tor he must be twenty
one before he can take the further promo
tion to the place of sub-clerk.-
Now he will be started on a regular line
[ of advancement, rising from clerkship to
1 clerkship, each of more Importance than
i the one before, and each promotion, which
is made every six months, carrying an. in
crease of $20© a year in pay. This goes on
j until he is chief clerk of the division in!
' which he is working and is drawing from
I $2,500 to $3,000 annually. > ;'.*'■ •■•i .;■•
It is a comparatively long step before he
finally becomes chief clerk, generally re
quiring from fifteen tr. thirty years from
the time he began; so that he comes into
this Important place about the time he j
Is thirty-five. If he should have chosen !
what is known as the entry, the drawback, j
the bond and warehouse or the passenger
baccate division, as chief clerk he will be j
an acting deputy collector, which means that j
In the absence of the real deputy collector
he will be head of the division- and will
have the direction of from- one. hundred to;
two hundred employes, and will be next: to
the collector, In authority. The- collector
ship Itself is a political- position and pay* !
in New York BZ.MI annually. »%»•>..
The last promotion in regular order that
is within the regulations Is to the deputy
ship of one of the divisions, under either
the appraiser's, the surveyor's' or 'any one
of the other divisions, carrying a 'salary up
to as high as $3,300 a year. or. in the case
of special deputies, up to $5,<XX>. Special
deputies art- net governed by the promotion .
regulations of the Civil- Service, but are
appointed -by the head of the division, ami
are generally chosen from among those
who have nmde the greatest advancement.
Thus it is possible for one to become the \
chief special deputy chosen by the collector
of custom*, the man' at the head of the i
j rest of the able • sporting- -writers In th*
: press box began to feel that they eotild
| let themselves out a little in their descrlp*
] tive introduction*. Even Baron llnnehaa
f sen began to fee! that he would have to •
i get busy and Invent some new enesin or- >-
| der to keep In tho public eve.
The Sulphur Stars failed to score la -
r their half of th» first. although Hiawatha,*'
first up. bunted and baal the ball, but h«s ;
stepped too far with that enormous. strl<i»., f
of hl» and overran first and was touched
out by the right fielder.
Not a clean hit was made by either sWs
up till the eighth Inninu. owing to the re—.
markable fielding back of -both pitchers.*
, Hercules slammed one over left ?••» at i'
; mile-a-minute clip in the fifth inninsr. feu; .. «
I Merciry .flapped his wing." and soared up
1 Into, the atmosphere a few hundred yaris
, 1 and ran it . down before It touched th« J.'-J
i ground. Geryones was a.i over the ir.a«!i«l -
! with his six feet,., robbing the Stars of.
j everything that looked like a hit VSTti i
J this kind of backing up the patefcana
pitched gilt-edged ball. Socrates, while not -.
so much of an athlete as his remarkable .
associates, could figure things , out with
such a nicety, that he always played th» -
batters well an-I managed to be In ta«
right spot when the ball was hit.
, In . the eighth Thcr came up with hi*
! famous hammer and hammered on» at- Go-,
.liath' that the' giant muffed. Socrate3.fol
lowed by. . .outguessing the infield and -
scratching, a hit into an open J>pot, and
1 after Ezra Sutton and David had fana<»4 .
i Hiawatha . hit a high fly, that Atlas tried
to catcir on his shoulder after his fashion. .
; of handling a ball, but.Wa^hington wouHaH, .
allow, the . s nut out,, and Thor counted ■>. ita
the first run of . the game.
; " In their' half of the ninth* the Hornets. - X
: went, them or better and won the game.
I 'After Mercury and Plato had fanned^ c
I David soaked Goliath between the ey<»3 with
a pitched ball, 'as -he had done every 'mi«
the giant came up. Then Samson walloped.
one with Ma jawbone that tore" the cover
i off the" ball," and i before "the outfielders could '
collect .the fragments of the mangled sphere
: i both'Goilath and Samson had crossed the.'
plate.' ' ' . .^jZ-i
'■'- The Stars failed to score in th»ir half, so
the first 'game 'of the season in the River .
.Styx X.eague ended in a victory for th»
: Hades Hornets. . . /. ,
i That evening all four teams of the I?a?a» .
■ attended a prizefight between Hercules v 
; and'Antseus as' guest3 < I the ETysian Ath- g
i letic' Club. It was sure a big day along "
the River Styx, and all the shades bps?aa "
to perk up and take more interest in their
surroundings'. ' /"
PARTING WHITE AND BLUE.
At an important state function in London, -
! blue tickets were Issued to persons in h!?h .
! rank, admitting them to that part of tn»
.hall . .reserved .for members of the royal
family... Leas distinguished guests wer*
'given white ticket*. Through some Baa
take an "important public man received a
! blue card, while his -wife received a whita
one . . '"t>
; When the couple reached the aadieTWS
! chamber" there .began the trou?!*. mas'
' much as the lady firmly declined to B«
separated from her husband. An aid en-
I d*avored to reason with her. pointing ous
4 the dreadful con.!>eauenc«:s that would fol
! lor/ a mingling- of blue at.-i white.
"How absurd:" exclaimed the lady.
I "What. do you take us for— seidlitz pow-
She was permitted to enter with., he**
I husband.— Tit-Bits.- --.. •/ ." ..-..,'
' customs worn of any port, a position which
| in Ken York carries a salary of $6.«X>. or
! ?:••> a month.
Advancement from this an la dependent
; upon the proficiency attained by your boy.
| Ha? his business ability attracted the at-
I tention of outside firms? The government
I is one of the best developers of business,in
i the country, an.i men who have attained
i eminence in their work- under its super
vision are in demand outside. This eondi
! tion' exists in practically all lines of gov
ernment work; so that one's future, if \*'.<l
I on the foundation of Uncle Sam's tuition.
:rprt.
Thus chief clerks and deputies from tr.»
; various divisions under the control of the
j Treasury Department are in demand as
I cashiers, audit* buyers, appraisers •">
■ other important positions with leading
; firms, especially those encased in the im
| porting' or exporting business, and gen
i erally become strong factors in the pro*
'perity-of the companies with which they
i are connected. • ■ " •
The writer knows one man. for Instancy
, who was 'engaged by a big importing nous«
as its chief foreign buyer at a salary ■•*
>.-,•«• a year, and went to Europe with a.
! force of a dozen experts to conduct that
end of the firm's business. His training is
the sovprnment appraiser's department had
given him intimate knowledge of values of
goods imported into th»» L'nited States, and
his services were in demand.
Many of the largest firms ■■ _ ; _---> ; ia
customs brokerage; a prominent business.
In ports of entry throughout the United
States, are composed, at least in part, by
] former employes of '.-» government cu>
■ toms service, a:. . there is r.ot a successful
j one of them who does not make thousands
| of. dollars a year.
Finally, the Treasury Department, which
is at the head of all things pertaining to
. the customs service, contains many man
of great ability who have grown tired of
the strain of competitive callings and have
taken examinations that admit them t >
Uncle Sam's big family of official worker*.
These men m joy all the comforts of a
certain and easy job. at a regular salary.
unaffected by industrial conditions, and
at the bum time maintain a standing i..
the community that la most desirably.
The hours of work in ihe customs ser
vice are comparatively "brief. In New York.
the largest port of entry in the country,
they are. 3:30 to i, and. besides, the em
ployes are . given two weeks' vacation.
with full pay every year.
iCtpjTlghV 1; "' by th-. Associated Literary
Fr»s» >
JOHNNY'S WATCH.
Johnny's aunt gave him a bright and
shiny dollar watch for his birthday, ,_•..!
the boy's, satisfaction* was - unbounded- A
COUP* of weeks lattr he . remarked very
dolefully that .. the watch wasn't Jse«pintr
good time.
•"It run.-; t be'wourul very carefully every •
night before you go to bcJ." his aunt' told •
him.
"Oh. l never Wr.ew that." saidthe boy.
"Now. ! s'po«c I've Just"' gone nnd 'ruined
. 3 hv . « h*n have you.b«en winding it?" :>-.
"The first th*hji every morning." an- --
sweml the boy i»orrowf)!l!v.— lifpiiin.-ott's."'-* 1 *"-- •
v-'-A WISE' WOMAN.
The Widow— Oh. sir' My poor' husband
has died., and I've' chosen you to pfQciata
at hi* funeral.
The Preacher— But. madam. 1- never
knew your husband. •
The Widow— That's why I chose you.—
Cleveland Leader. - •
BURNING THOUGHTS.
r"1r "1 understand you." tclU "the umpire €X ?/\.-.
a.-tiy what you thought- el fcim." said oo*>' •
i>aM player.
"No." replied the other, "only the »tti«
I could dig out. of my consciousness on .
the spur of the moment. I've been thin*« - (
log a lot since then;" — Washington Star. .. , f