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( tRICATURI OF i m m ihok and artist BT himself.
GOING A WA Y PROM HERE IS NOT SUCH A CINCH NIATTER where you happoti to be. ther It's in South Berwick, in New or in jail, there comes the time ? ?r when you want to go some? you had hardly put the heavy gh?td, "Gee, don't those curtains and warm!" when it's time to remark, "Wow ! It'? a r -7uins down and ? is aa uni of popping out -ddenly from behind a snow-laden tree .r coat Bnd all! It would be less disconcerting if she would ::t,% the news gently with a telegram a few iheed Still she is a * - [f this was t cox'.c ?pen it would be the cue for son' ? inner, you're a huss\ w( love 'he same!" ur wife always has more eense than you have* Sh? plans weeks ahead for what she laya ahe 7 teds for the summer vacation ?'?' KNOW Nil WHITE TRO! M I;- RAVE HUN to mi < I BAN1 ternoon in March and < r new bathing suit. She Proceeds to ? to you with a wa'chful ?' expression oui of the corner of her cute And from whal *ou f ' n that her suit will < m the front row of the Tiething U '*' larea that ah? will < -ind it and that if it was going to be some other woman's suit you would think It was a beautiful thing! Of course you have to lick the I and take it all back and say a lot of wuBsjMvuaay things But why do you spoil it ail by adding, "But, I hope you won't catch cold!" Weeki and weeks ahead she buys up all the things she is sure to need. She buys miles corset laces. Enough collo? dion to put an entirely new skin on a very large mam- ?tamus-and enough left over to .-(decorate one of her children. Enough cold cream to keep eieren theatrical troupei nicely '"or two or tl ree yean. She gets million! of ?tickings, shoes enough for the entire graduating class at Wellesley and about ninety "little simple useful hats- you know, the kind that shade your eyes'" She ?ays they are "sport" hats. Ferhapa she is going to play tennis, golf, football, baie ball, polo, jai alai, lacrosse, hare and hounds, cricket, puss-in-the-corner, mumblety-peg, soccer and tag! And then on the other hand she mij down to the beach twice all summer! Then she gets some petticoats- sure, they wear them! But she is very particular this aeason to ? d "you can't see through"?thus spoil ,e of the summer amusements. Do you re member last summer sometimes ah"it sunset when a chorus of voices would rise, "For heaven's sake, Kleanor, get back into the shade!" When it comes to your own preparations you till about three hours before leaving to scrabble around in chests and closets, pulling out summer shirts and wrinkled white trousers and raw hat that looks in color like the yolk of irthy egg. You guess they'll do. You know lave been to the cleaner's try to sit down in them the.? pull your collar down in the back till you gag. there arc your rubber-soled shoes. You up \*?ur mind whether they will last or not. You decide to risk it, and the first time you put them on they split all the way across the tep on a sharp pebble and feel a-* BU were having a tooth pulled. There are always dozens of funny looking win? ter shirts that you have collected for years-. These you parcel out among the darky liftgarvonF I here is always a needy derelict that you give ?ach year. It just happens that when ire t;red of a certain summer suit of the thickness of mosquito netting this worthy per-*on - -.. it when the icy blasts of winter start blasting; and, on the other han*T, it is withering ly hot in the early summer when you are ready peculiarly thick suit that you have -. saving for Just this occasion. give him some extra heavy underclothes in the most cold-blooded explorer could be James Montgomery Flagg In Words and Pictures I Should Say So!! more than overheated at the suburbs of the North Pole, even if h? east aside his bearskin cutaway and pants! So when you pass your bene fklery in the stifling street, ?lolled up in your things, he hows to you he can't trusi himself to speak-he bows to you gratefully but reproach fully, and you can see he is trying heroically to keep the expression of blood lust out of his eye? aa the perspiration rolls like a cascade down hil purple face. Julian Street, F. It. <i. S., the well known trav? eller anil nifty dresser, gives hi-aps of clothes away each spring, and he makes it a rule to cut out all tailor's labels and his own initials before? hand. A feeling of delicacy prompted this pre? caution, because last winter, during the blizzard, a man was found drowned in the North Rivet with a straw hat on. The initial- in the hat wen? ",I S" Whether the man committed suicide on account of the straw bat or not i-< not known. At any rate, Julian is rather Krtuitiv? about the affair. A Sunday is devoted to going over your bn?iks in the library and sorting out the ones to give to the Salvation Army. You may possibly have sev? eral novels by writers who don't mind writing about anything that com??* into their heads. You naturally hesitate about having these distributed in the fever wards of hoipitali, and finally decide to -??-nd them to some maiden aunts of jours who don't get about much. The time inevitably arrives when the rook and the young person who forgets to put the napkins on have to "be told." Wife has put off the telling as long as she could She may have been nursing a prepos? terous fancy that perhaps these peeresses would come to her of their own accord, get down on tleir knees and humbly kiss the hem <?f her tango skirt and murmur: "Oh. Commander of the sound like railroad circular Stuff, that your wife hi a/en!', gives them. She wears a smile that Challenges defeat. The two totem poles :,ay they will "t'tnk it over" You wait for the outcome in the dining room, ostensibly examining a dont in a lilwei cho.-olatc pot. Your wife returns. "W ill they go with us"" ?'I don't know. They want to think It over." The net' morning the young person who forgets to put egg spoons on pauses on her way back to ?he kitchen. "Weil, Btugdar "Ay go' telegram las' ni'. My fadder us dsmg. Af go t ' ri-tiania \'en?dny." Your vile goes cyJt to the kMchen after break fast. "Good n timing, Geska," she greota the cook with a qiH'.- tioMi g smile "Good morning, Ay got telegtam Ins' ni'. My fatltler i-i 'lying. Ay go" "To < hritiania, of course" your wife snaps all caution to the discard "No, re;.darn. To Stockholm." So f.u ,. bad The Ural fly enters arm In arm ?with the first moth, laughingly chatting over their annual In? viiion of jroor home. The rugs are all up, even m your bedroom, and It is bard to remember to put on yo?:r bath slippers -till a tack gits you. (Jalees ><-u send your palm to the florist, when vu r? : .ii n it resembles a duit-covered backbone of S shade. It you do intrust it to the smiling .iiul eptimiitie florist he tella you in the fall it died ?ring ammer. But they have '.ful palms you might like. Then you ?ur own palm back again. If von don't happen to own a shack out in the country, yon write to various resorts for terms lust a? ;, i fl have settled on a seemingly i? apot, vil mention where you aro going to a ?At GOT TELEGRAM IAS' M\ MY FADDER ISS DYING. AY GO CHRISTIANIA FENSDAT." Faithful! We know you are flitting to the sea. and us girls would e'en flit with you whither thou flittcst thither flit we!" She abandons that dream a*, the time for calling up the baggage man and be ging him not to forget She enters the kitchen. She assumes an "I am-your-devoted-nnstress" expression and breaks the n?W?, They listen In granite silence to the alluring descriptions, that friend, '.'he friend says: "East Bunquit! For the lov-? of 'izor.e, don't go there! I tried to spend _ snmnicr there once, we were eaten alive I mosquitoes and greenhead flies! And the eemetsry I? Just outside the dining room wm What to do? You hunt up another n'ace rh.e ground beforehand. Perhaps _ 1 "le cottage would be nice. After changing BUMMER HAS AN UNMAIDDfGLI IFA. OF PO PPTNG OUT tT TOU BUDDENL. FROM H HIND A SNOW LADEN TREE, HUGGING TOI ni:<'i\i \nh mi ? ?at- three ''mes in eight hours vom arri* affectionate agen* me? ? a buckboar ;.ou drive through the woo i ?to a silent collection ot boarded-tip cotti ion 1 ll that no normal mind is large enough to conl ?in the army of misgivings that II - -.ours. His key will not unlock the cottage -how you. You wait on the s'en? of the | rty minute? wh'ic he . Iriver. When he returns smiling you - I will have time to loot ?tells you not to be silly. 1 yanks up a shade. "What's this ' ?sk. "This is the dining room." "How stupid of me." jrou reply, "not to havo guessed ?that pair of sneaker-- with the bubonic plague on the ?able and all these dead buv flies on the floor?and those empty !.. : and the mOBSe] shells -why any tyro in orating could tell at a gla ras the "And here is the kitchen!" co: your aarcaam leaving him clammy. "I thought this was a furnished eottl your a "It is, ma'am," smiles the old a. - -Tly picks up a rusty and gi akillet. thla Chippendale I nothing elee to cook with!" ? much jes' for the summer month W .- thank tue Lord E off. iroprriih?. nil. 00a II i.ihm. THE RKII I8fl FLE1 A?k "Jack" what he thinks of the fc and he will probably say, "It's nothing to about about," at the sa Imitting that if ye hungry it's not "bnd tack." I! from Australia. Adams," a name which is IU| | rate the awful fate *?f an < who was once tempted to try a ration | t'roni A ict, while the pickled pork hails from B And it cannot the authorities believe in having an inexha I supply in stock. The consequence la that a' there is a seven years' supply of < ?? ? quantity at Gibraltar. ..?Hing yards are the I ??ifnx, Bermuda, mnult. almost imt i ? W< v> v ':n* ,-?v / .-? _*? __, ?_r . 5 2?K V \ I rhi?, with rum, i \ ? ? ? umbla FOLLOWING THE WAR IN RHYME AM? PICTURE VERSES BY A. R. FERGl'SSON. THURSDAY. NOVEMBER 1?. The Russian fleet off Anatolia home lead upon the Goehen spills, S?en Hedin sa>s that melanchoia Is least of all the Kaisers ills. Says Russia's Empress, "Pole and linn And Jew arc Russians till me win!" Whene'er the Kaiser looms in sight Ihr i.eriiians multiply their fire. Ihey'll get to England's shore by flight ? A fleet, they say, they won't require. I o Tommy Atkins It'e a grief I hat he must eat Chicago beet FRIDAY. Some twenty thousand refugees We daily pouring into Brussels. They'll either starve to death or freeze Unless J. Rockefeller hustles. I lie Knglish won't export their tea, l.est it should ?trengthen German>. ( anadians are not allowed To read New York's pro-German papers; Vnd K?\pt'r-> suzerain has vowed He ? fini-hed cutting English capers. Mure ships and men Okuma asks In help Japan attack her tasks. SATURDAY. I i\e massed attacks the Germans fling Where Joffre defends Lorraine's frontier The waiting Gsllic rsnnon sing. And dead are scattered far and near. The Kaiser pri>s that Heaven's hand May still uphold the I atherland. The shots at Decker's launch were aimed. It seems, to warn it, not to rout it; But Decker -a>s it was a blamed I nfriendlv way to go about it. Ihere're seten million men at leaat Engaged in battle in the east. SUNDAY. If Russian Jews would dodge a shock In Turkey, there's a way to shun it. By getting naturalized en bloc. Five thousanil have already done il. There's now a desolated spare Where once was Ypres's market place. \ on Hindenhurg is forty miles From Warsaw with his German wedge. \nd though at Turkey Wilson smiles. 'Tis clear she puts his nerves on edge. For Decker's told and so is Oman, "In saving Yankees, > ield to no man' MONDAY. Before the British arms the Turk I? fleeing up the Tigris KHer; \nd Poland N'icholaa'a work From hostile hands should ??Ton deiner lor every enemy who's dead The nation" spend hia weight in lead Some Englishmen prefer the field Of football to the held of glor> ; DRAWINGS ST JOHN AD\MS GRAERER. \nd Switzerland a sword will wield, If Germans cross her territory. Bavarians find lots of cheer In French champagne and Belgian beer It SSDAT. On Saturday the Slock Exchange Mill open?a propitious omen I he Portuguese at last arrange To help the Allies lick their foemen. And Harvard's gift tu those that strive I- Williamson, of 'naughty -?*e. Rerun's defence in Pru?-i?ia break?; Tea Hindenburg has come a cropper \nd Wilhelm, lacking metal, lakes From locomotives brass and copper, 'alais, the Kaiser tells bis men, Must fall before December 10. WEDNESDAY. The Rntlsn fleet the Belgian coast Of every German cannon cleans. It wrecks, at Wllhelm's naval po?i. \ half a dozen submarines. The Britons welcome with a "Hip, Hooray!-' the Yankee ( hristmas eluji The ever watchful Cossacks catch Some fleeinr (iermans in a mire. \ score of heavy guns they snatch. And hundreds die beneath their fire. The French artillery besets A town a doien miles from Met?. I