New-York tribune. [volume], February 06, 1916, SPECIAL FEATURE SECTION, Image 37

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SPECIAL FEATURE
SECTION.
Stfetu i?tft?i ?Miroite
SPFXIAL FEATURE
SECTION.
riKr i
l h.M t PAt?ES
SUNDAY, PEBR1 WHY <i, 1916?
PART v FH.HT PAGIS.
War More Ticklish as Poker, Birsky Tells Zapp
?oc s
EvjEPV-SoDY
A?3^ee
A 12 O'CLOCK
T|M6 limit ;
ATTER
?*l*vt sit in poker games where there ivas a 12 o'clock time limit set "
He Thinks There Should Be a Time Limit, and an
Agreement to Stick to It?The Big Pile of Vic?
tories at Half-Past Ten Doesn't Always Be?
tone to the Breakfast Time Winner.
By MONTAGUE GLASS
Illustraiitm* hy Hrigys
?The Tribune Ass'n.)
\\ be like when you si
. i pino< hlc.
Bvnctl Zaj It? he ha I coughed
caused by a seg
Vienna cheese
EaVam "They should ought to set a time
"I've s:t In poker games where there
?a. a 12 o'clock time limit set," Louis
'"??sky retorted, "and I've sit in poker
{Matt where there wat> a 12 o'clock time
' let and wt agreed to stick to it, and
?tevt:. sit in poker panics where there
e limit, an agreement
.greement to stick to
cnt to stick to it. and still we
bpt pi st rounds till the
? ? ? you could make up your
Zapp, this war would keep on
all in front of one bide
nd it don't make a bit of
? fa. ,? uyt: 'Listen, why
1 quit while you ??ill got
' ?.arfares home?' y'understand, be
t**Bs ye.: know as well as I do, Zapp, a
\fiat could last till 8 o'clock in the morn
lad the losers always claim that if
':' would played two rounds more, un
they would of pulled up
May.?-? ? ild, too." Zapp said.
. got to remember that .n
"--'ope the game is young yet. Yes,
::-"<" ich a feller is got in
half-] ast 10 is only, so to
on memorandum, and all congrat
-????:ot> is -abject to change without no
'?;'e if ( i ti.r {c]lcr bucks up against a
- full houses with ace h i f ?; h flushes
??"?t ibsolutely final last round, and ii
1 'he banker debits him by mistake
two extra stacks which should
' to ot been charged up to Felix Im
frf?Hck. the biggest loser."
Well, when you consider that they
*?? Poland and Serbia and Belgium and
'r-'?-f Prance, Zapp that's some stack,
? ? Id only be haif-past 10, so
eak "
. "we, ! Zapp said, "but if a
'tLe* toe-, to wotk and buys now in Wu.
shaw a ninety-seven-cent German ?.tamp
book, he runs a big chance that he would
isc fifty per cent of it on letters and the
balance in a postage ?tamp album as
sowveneers of when the Germans used
to was in Warshaw. Yes. Birsky, wai is
| oker. It's pretty near
is uncertain ;;? selling goods, which you
take them German generals with their
fireproof faces, and they go out on the
road and do a tremendous business, un?
derstand ma, and cover a whole lot of
new territory, and when the boss heats
about it he calls a conference of the sales
organization and makes 'em a speech, and
says that they are gathered together that
evening and that he is glad to see so
many bright and happy aaberafen facet
about him, and that if they would on1*,
done the business which their associates
Louis von Schlachthaus and Charles J
Leichenbesorger is doing, undei stand me.
then with reason they could smile, and
he is just about to hand them the figure?
and a little frommt r talk of the usual kin?!
when the letter carrier comes in and he
loaves a cancellation from Dvinsk, a can
" I he waiter was shoi ten minutes
Inter ui sunrise"
cellation Irom Higa and a couple other
cancellations from important places, y'un
derstand, and for the rest of the war all
you hear about von Schlachthaus arid
'? ? henbesorgei is that peuple wonder
that you don't heai about them any
more."
"Well," lins.:-, said, "it's better to get
some cancellations like Germany than
never to sell no goods at all like England
and France, which they also called a
whole lot of feller s off the road on ac?
count that for all the business they was
doing, life might just so well be one legal
holiday after another. You take this here
Englishman. French, and he comes to
work for his concern with a big reputa?
tion, y'understand, and the boss says:
'Well, if there's any business to be done
in that territory, French will do it.' and
L. Loyd and his partner this here George
and all the other fellers say-'
"What do you mean?L. Loyd and
George?" Zapp demanded. "Do you
think Lloyd-George is a firm?"
"For my part, it could lie a corpora
(<Them German Generals Go Out on the Road," He
Says, (<and Do a Tremendous Business, but the Let?
ter Carrier Comes in and Leaves a Cancellation
from Dvinsk and a Couple Other Places.
tion," Birsky said. "I am now talkir
from this here French, which everybotj
thought you could n?> more stop th,
feller from doing a million dollars bu:
ness on the road than a canary from sim
ing, y'understand, and after he is out
couple weeks the boss comes in or
morning and says to L. Loyd: 'Tell m
Louis,' or Leon, or whatever the 'I
stands for, 'what do we hear from Mist?.
French?' and the next morning he say*
'Say. ain't we heard nothing froi
French?1 and the morning after he say^
'You mean to say that feller ain't writte
us nothing?' ard the next day he say*
'No word from that faker yet?' and th
last day he says: 'Leon or Louis, writ
that cutthroat that highwav robber
letter he should come home right awa\
What does he think?we are made o
money?' And that's the way it goes i:
England. Zapp."'
"Well. I'll tell you." Zapp said; "wit!
a general it's the same like a salesman
a whole lot depends on the territory. A
I understand it. French done wonder
when he was making Johannesburg an*
Kimberley ar.d all them South Afiicr
towns while he was working for Englan
before, but when he is somewheres ii
Fiance, then that's something else agau:
Or maybe the feller's getting old, Birsky
Take me, for example, and if I would b
making nowadays, small towns in Ten
nessee, Georgia, AU'.bama and Missis
bippi, after I got through seeing the doc
tor every day, there wouldn't be no timi
left to call on the trade Even a fellei
my age couldn't stand no hardships."
"),.. hardships!" Birsky exclaimed
"Generals don't got to stand no hard?
ships. Zapp. The soldiers?yes, aber th :
generals is each of 'em got tents wi*h
hall service, elevators, hot and cold run?
ning water, steam heat and sanitary
plumbing. They carry with them a cock,
a butler, a chauffeur, laundress, upstai j
girl and a man to attend to the furnace
Hardships, ?agi i r! For a business man
tu have the hardships which a gene.al
has got it would cost easy thirty thou?
sand dollars a year for living expens.-?
alone."
"But generals once in a while gets
wounded, Birsky," Zapp said. "I seen it
in the papers already."
"S,hmti(hi?wounded!" Birsky crie'.
"If the paper says a general is slightly
wounded, Zapp, that means he is got a
little Magenbeickwerden because the roas?
ducks had too much garlic in them the
night before, and if the paper says a gen
eral is serious wounded. Zapp, then that
means that he got hit in the eye with a
champanyer cork, and the waiter whicn
done it was shot ten minutes later at sun?
rise. No. Zapp, generals don't got no
hardships, otherwise there wouldn't DC
no wars. It would be a good thing if they
did got hardships, Zapp, because t'.~ *
next time it looked like a war and some of
the generals was in favor of it on account
of seeing life again, General French oder
General Hindenburg or any of them fel
lers says: 'Nothing doing,' and the other
generals says: "Why not?' and French
says: 'You remember the roast duck wc
used to get in the last war?' and the
other generals says: 'What of it?' anH
French says: 'Maybe you fellers like to
cat poison, thet me not. And Hinden?
burg on the other side also puts the ,;d
un the idea. 'Right away talking wa?!'
he says, and Generals von Meuchelmar?
tier and Hlutvergiessen says: 'Why
shouldn't we?' and Hindenburg says:
'Why shouldn't you! Did I get even once
a decent cup coffee in Poland all the time
I was there? Then what the devil you
?ne talking nonsense!' and the consc
quence is there ain't no wjr.
"In fact. Zapp," he continued a m.-*
ment later, "one way to get rid of wa s
is to make them less attractive for t'ie
generals and the emperors and the kings.
Fix up a rule that so long as there ain't
no wais, generals and emperors ctNild
wear their usual military effects ma ie
over satin d'amour with elaborate a.rys';<I
overdress, fishtail train, diaped satin belt
with a vestee and collai ?4 Point da
Venise and a velvet rose corsage bou?
quet, but so soon as theie comes a wjr,
the emperors and generals is got to wear
blue serge coats and vests and stripe?)
pants, with black derby hats It might
also be a good idee that empero*-*?
shouldn't get off no religious speeches
during a war, but where it's a case of an
emperor being used to doing such things
twice a day anil it's got to be a hah*
y'understand. it ain't necessa-y to be ii
human, and business clothes might 1 e
punishment enough for him."
"Couldn't you talk seriously about a
thing like the trouble on the other sidt'"
Zapp asked.
"I couid." BirsKy concluded. "I could
even hire Carnegie Hall to do it in but
them peace meetings is all the sane.
Zapp. They're serious, but they ain't sen?
sible."
"He** tfLtd ttt see so m?iny hritjht and happy faces ahuut him"
Lincoln, the Idealistic Realist
f}torpe \ il .'???'
I, e I ? ? ? ? : - lUphf thl
' it il War tu ?? ? offiet r, I
ti r?f i h I hi of A thai
. i plain Hall ! r? ? ? ".//?'
? . ? ; ? ? which he mod
.. , ,ii,.., ni h,i i .... ? f hit vaisl
m,/.. n( Littroln, do i ttrhf? ht mad*
teart nntl ?? i rom lift ond ?, ?? ?
',??,? on ? ' ? i ? ? ? ? '
i , |ii ? ?
By George Edward Hull.
ON the night oi the twelfth of February.
112 year- ago. there was born to a
shiftless family in the hills of Ken
tucky a l-abe ?rho was destined to become the
world's central figure of the century?Abraham
Lincoln This -henon.enon of nature from
remote ancestry received a powerful mind
a-vi body and would have become 3
marked man in any station of lite with?
out ins quality?*? quality -?o tine and lofty
that he k.ould overlook derision, and even in?
suit, trr the common weal. He could, when
exigencies demanded, make Edwin M. Stanton
bis war chief, after he had inquired in a great
law case: "Where did this long-armed creat?
ure come from and what does he expea to
do in this case"" What the nation needed in
its peril was enough for this great soul Sure?
ly he had malice for nene and charity tor all
Primitively Lincoln wa? an idealist in
things. with a poet's conc?rptiv?Hiess Hii
thought would go straight to the mt;rk. atvl
with intuitive instinct he formed the right
judgment ot things by a ?-imple analysis of
cause and effect. Slow and methodical, re
looked from all sides and would imperil noth?
ing by undue ha.ite. He didn't seek to view
a thing trom the best position, but trom every
direction. He sought not only to know its
exact appearance, but why it appeared different
from various positions Thus trom realist:.
im| iessions he formed an idealistic impression
a combined understanding that made the thin,
inore than real?a thing of life with its attri?
butes of life, each part lull functioned, as in
his Gettysburg sieech. wl-.erein ea?.h winged
a ird went home to its place like the swallow
around die corner to its ne?-t. Thus with a
iotty directness, with a philosophy born ?n him.
?,e went to the root of things wit h a tir.ge of
ti-.a: talies hold of the imag:
or mankind and holds him in the place of lib
*rato- patriot, dr-.^t .-ind ?tate?rr.ar. He :'ci
lowed no : ..?? lie walked slone The
: elds were his, the skies were his and ear'.':*,
his only instructor m the si'.ent throbs of nat
i;re. He would not stoop to evil to do goo?f
?all good must (.orne in a plain, honest way
come as the light falls and as the day and the
niqht ? line. He carried his proclamation of
emancipation in the factor of his being, m
the a-;ior of his blood from intancy to the
power of Presidency, and when he saw the
clanking ?.hains on lus trips down the Missis
: . i he said "They shall be free."
Lincoln was the idealist in sorrows of daily
ife. He would lift some of the burden ti on;
a mule and bear it up the hill. He felt what
others see and ignore He would jest, but
always gi?.e a helping hand. Always he was
the champion of right against wron?. Thus
hi lias pa-^ed into history, the exalted expo
nent of realistic idealism. And now, in th?>
tulr.e-s o' time and as the anniversary of each
day of his birth returns, mankind bowi in re.
erence to the name of Lincoln
Lincoln, tre God-like
Lincoln, the man.
our starlight
Lincoln, the daylight
Lincoln, Cod's patriot
?Vus Lincoln the man
Lincoln, the wooer,
Lincoln, the doer.
Wd? Lincoln the man
Lincoln, the zealot.
Lincoln, the ideal.
L.n, o!r. the real
Was Lincoln the mar.
Lincoln, the laborer
Lincoln, the liberator.
Wa<* Lincoln the man.
Lincoln, our flower
Lincoln c:
Wa? Lincoln the man