NEW YORK HERALD
BROADWAY AND ANN STREET.
JAMES GORDON BENNETT,
PROPRIETOR.
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TOLl'ME XLII NO. 99
AMUSEMENTS TO-NIGHT.
OH ION SQUARE THEATRE?Tint DAiucngrre.
a FIFTH AVENUE THEATRE?Tug Princes* Kotau
BOOTH'S THEATRE?Richkliku.
ACADEMY OF MUSIC?UN Hallo in Mascheiia.
NIBLO'8 GARDEN?Antony asp Clropatka
EAOLE TUEATKE-CltnwNjtK Thorn*.
ACADEMY OF DESIGN-Paixtixc*.
BRAND OPERA UOU8K-~Mne Mpltom.
BROADWAY THEATRE?.ftKCltAMIO'g Iiit'CRTll.
BOWERY THEATRE?Ax t: rink.
PARK THEATRE?Opr HriAKm.NU Home.
WALLACE'S THE ATRK^-.My AwrcL Dab.
OLYMPIC THEATRE?Pantomime.
BROOKLYN PARK THEATRE?BRAes.
CERMANIA THEATRE?Durch Yibh Jahrunderte.
THEATRE COMIQUB?VaeiktyT"
II ELLER'S TH E ATRE?PiiKsriiiiatTATrON.
TONY PASTOR'S THEATRE?Variety.
NEW AMERICAN MUSEUM- UiimoaiTlE*.
TIVOLI THEATRE?Variety.
SAN FRANCISCO MINSTRELS.
EGYPTIAN HALL-Vahixty.
NEW YORK AQUARIUM.
PARISIAN VAUDEVTLLK?Thk Two Spheres.
GILMORE'S OAKDEN-Baknum's Show.
COLUMBIA OPERA HOUSE-Varikty.
TRIPLE SHEET.
NEW YORK, MONDAY, APRIL 9. 1877.
NOTICE TO COUNTRY DEALERS.
The Adams Express Company run a apodal newspaper
train over the Pennsylvania Railroad and Its connections,
leaving Jersev City at a quarter post four A. M. dally nod
Sunday, carrying the regular edition of the II kkai.p an far
West v* llarrtsbtirg and South to Washington, reselling
Philadelphia at a quarter past six A. M. and Washington ul
ene P. M.
From our report* this morning the probabilities
are that the weather in New York to-day will be
warmer and cloudy and threatening in the early
morning, followed by rain and increasing winds
from the southeast attending a heavy storm.
Books and Pictures fill a great deal of our
space to-day, and tlioy richly deserve it.
Ladies May Take Excf.ition to the views
of our correspondent who signs himself "Com
mon Sense."
The Most Important Argument against
dirty streets is offered by "A Desperate Father"
to-day through our "Complaint Book."
New Spring Toilets appeared a Sunday be
hind time, but a pleasure deferred is always a
pleasure gained, and all tlio ladies yesterday
seemed to realize this fact.
Tim Lett Kim Written by Pocock, Stanley's
only white companion on his African tour of ex
ploration, will l>c found in sonic ways as inter
esting as those of the leader of the expedition.
Like Stanley himself Pocock writes only what
he means.
That Noble Old Christian, Dr. Muhlen
berg, who wrote the hymn beginning "I would
not live alway" and then outlived all his asso
ciates, lias at last gone to his reward. An ex
tended sketch of his career will be found in an
other column.
Woman's Rights have lor some years been
exercised to the full extent demanded by the
strong-minded by a woman in Pennsylvania,
but her history, published at length to-day, will
not tempt nny enthusiastic girl to don mnlo
attire nnd live a manly life.
'Go to Florida" is a fashionable bit of nd
vice at present, but no one who reads "Groping
In the Swamp" in our paper to-day will seek that
portion of the Alligator State in which the
Herald explorers have been operating. The
recital reads more like a chapter from a book
npon African wanderings than a record of ex
perience in a State within three days of Now
York.
Even Preachers Seem To He Glad, in a
qniet way, that Lent is over. On Sunday of last
week, and on several preceding Sundays, metro
politan sermons were upon much the same key,
though with the key itself 110 possible fault
oould be found. Yesterday, however, there was
a marked diversity auiongpulpit topics, the range
being the iutinite space between Calvary and
Wall street. There were sermons upon the eter
nal life, the manly perfection of Jesus, faith
and tmnsubstantiation, the difference between
technical moralify and Christian righteousness,
the resurrection, the morality and immorality of
trade, the nature of the peace bestowed by
Christ, the rehabilitating of a desolate soul, nnd
the pillars of faith, the last named discourse
having for its apparent object the showing that
all pillars are uncertain, and that Christianity
has not done for humanity those things which
all other systems of philosophy have succeeded
in leaving undone.
The Weather.?The great storm announced
In the Herald as coming from the southwest is
now central in the Ohio Valley region, north of
the Tennessee line. The area of the depression
nt present embraces all the territory southward
of the lakes and between the Indian Territory
and the Alleghany Mountains, and that por
tion of the Atlantic coast south of Cape Hat
teras. The storm lias all the characteristics of a
genuine cyclone and the pressure at its centre is
unusually low. Very heavy rains have fallen
over the regions affected (luring the past sixteen
hours. The fall at Indianapolis has been 1.23
?nd at Nashville 1.13 inches,' at Augusta during
the morning 1.53 inches, and at other jmints in
the South from one to onc-linlf an inch. The
winds around the storm centre are very heavy
nd prevail from Galveston to the lakes, along
the Atlantio coast and through the Mississippi
Valley. The pressure is highest in Manitoba and
Lower Canada, where the weather is clear and
oool. Rains have also fallen in Nova Scotia at
tending the slow eastward movement of the d?v
pression of Wednesday last. The Curalterland
and Tennesseo rivers have risen rapidly
daring twenty-four hours. The Lower Missis
sippi and Ohio will rise rapidly as the storm nd
voners through the Ohio Valley. Dangerous
winds may bo expected along the Atlantic and
lake coast* during the next two days. The
weather In New York to-day will be warmer and
oloudy and threatening in the early morning,
followed by rain and increasfcg winds from the
?MtkNtft attending a heavy storm.
Sc. B?aja?in to the Laodlceani.
The piquant interview with General But
ler which we printed yesterday is infinitely
more diverting than the one we procured
from Wendell Phillips a few days before.
In assailing the policy of the President Mr.
Phillips exhibits nothing but biting acri
mony, but General Butler laughs in his
sleeve at the comicality of his odd criticisms,
and finds it hard to restrain himself from
laughing outright. He is as human and
genial in his scoffing foolery as Goethe
represented Satan to be in that singular
prologue to the "Faust." The President's
new critio is too grotesque and whim
sical to be very much in earnest,
and but lor his pious unction in
quoting and applying Scripture and his
wish to deliver a rousing sermon in Parson
Newman's pulpit there would seem more
of the wag than the saint in his homily to
the Laodiceans?meaning the President and.
his Cabinet. St. Benjamin tells these Lao
diceans that they are neither cold nor hot;
that he wishes they were either the one or
the other ; that he is inclined to spew them
out for the simple reason that they are luke
warm. Does General Butler mean to imply
that Mr. Hayes would please him better by
taking the extreme Southern ground on
which he himself stood in the famous
Charleston Convention? It cannot be said
of St. Benjamin, as of too many preachers,
that his doctrine is at variance with his
practice. When he is not on the extreme
right he is always on the extreme left,
moderation being a thing which he always
spews out of his mouth.
But in this instance he shows a nearer ap
proach to temperance than we have ever ob
served in h^m before. He quotes and
thereby recognizes as of canonical author
ity the prophecy about the lion lying down
with the lamb and a little child leading
them?a state of things to which his cold-or
hot dictum has but a remote application.
Even his quoting the reproof to the Laodi
ceans against President Hayes may have
been more kindly meant than appears on
the surface. In the sermon he offers to
preach in Parson Newman's pulpit ho
will doubtless give the whole context of
the passage, from which it will ap
pear that tho church at Laodicea
was not beyond tho pale of mercy.
"Ab many as I love," the message wont on
to say, "I rebuke and chasten." And in
the next verse the attitude of General Butler
toward the angel of the church of Laodi
ciu?meaning President Hayes?is very feuly
expressed:?"Behold, I stand at the Moor
and knock: if any man hear my voice, and
open the door, I will come in to him, and
will sup with him, and he with mo." This
was the actual offer made to the Laodiceans,
but General Butler thought it more modest
to hint the suggestion than to quote the
whole passage, while he is as yet uncertain
whether Parson Newman will accord him
the pulpit he solicits. In the part he quoted
we are sorry he did not use the Catholic
version, which bettor accords with the sub
sequent context. It is not "I will spew
thee," Ac., but "I will begin to
vomit thee," &c.?a rendering which
is consistent with the profession of love and
the proffer to come in and sap with the
Laodiceans, if anybody will regard his
knock and open the door. This dexterous
hint to oar political Laodiceans may be
worth considering. Wendell Phillips did
not compliment them with fulfilling the
prophecy of the lion lying down with the
lamb ; Wendell Phillips did not offer to
come in and sap with them; bat the more
mellow and genial Butler "stands at the
door and knocks."
He is pretty sure to force recognition in
some way All the other experienced party
chiefs having disappeared from the House,
except Garfield, Batler intends to be the re
publican leader in that body. Garfield's only
advantage lies in his confidential relations
with the President as being a citizen of the
same State ; but if he assumes to be the
spokesman of the administration and puts
on uirs of leadership Butler will clip his
wings. Butler feels that the position be
longs to him by the conjoint titles of ex
perience, ability, readiness of resource and
retort, and power to gall and annoy the
democratic leaders. If he is not permitted
to lend the party he will lead the dissatis
fied wing of it and apply liis whip of
scorpions to Garfield himself instead of the
democratic leaders on the floor. Behold, he
stands at the door and knocks ; if the Laodi
ceans open to him ho will gladly come in and
sup. But unless the administration recog
nizes the value of his services as a supporter
he will be a thorn in its side and smoke in
the eyes of Garfield, its confidunt. General
Butler is not intractable, and it is for Presi
dent Hayes to decide whether his support
and friendship will not be better than his
opposition. So able and irrepressible a man
is suro to make a figure. He has heretofore
rather hung on the skirts of his party than
enjoyed its confidence, und has therefore
been able to assert himself only by fighting
as a free lance. This may be one reason
why he has been so erratic and sensational.
Nothing is so steadying as a position of re
sponsibility, and even General Butler, no
longer fighting on his own hook, would
probably cease to cut strange personal
antics. In the new House he will be
very helpful to the administration or
very troublesome, according as it treats
him. Wo do not advise, but it
may be allowable to suggest. It would be a
pity to give the republican malcontents so
vigorous a leader if he can be soothed and
won by a little personal conciliation. Pres
ident Lincoln would havo made a mistake
had ho repollod Butler's services in the ifrar,
and it is for President Hayes to decide
whether his co-operation may not be valu
able in poaco.
The stiff, resolute attitude assumed by
Packard in Louisiana "will not amount to a
row of pins" unless his cause should be
taken up and defended by influential repub
licans in Congress at the approaching extra
session. His resolute attitude has stiffened
Chamberlain, and both are acting on the hope,
perhaps on assurances, of influential North
ern support. If they fail to get this
they are mere chips floating on the waves.
If their cause finds no advocates in Congress
at the extra session it is lost. In the Henate
the President will have no lock of able re
publican champions. He can hold his own
there even if Blaine should make a blazing
demonstration against him. Bnt in the
Honse the republican side is weak. Butler
is the ablest republican member. His skill
in playing on party prejudices would make
him an overmatch for Garfield and might
enable him to array a majority of the repub
lican members against the policy of
the President. Butler is no fanatic,
but a shrewd politician; ambitious and
self-seeking, to be sure, but amenable to
reason if it approaches in the garb
of kindness. As we have already said, wo
do not presume to advise ; it is for the
President himself to decide whether it is
not expedient to forestall- a great hubbub
and commotion in hiB own party by a little
soothing deference to so unquiet a spirit as
General Butler. In the Presidential oan
vass Butler waived his inflation heresy, out
of respect for Hayes ; and if the President
docs not snub him as a republican leader
in the House, he may find his services in
valuable. There iB nothing vindictive in
bis nature ; he quickly got over his quarrel
with Grant; he is a stanch friend as well
as a bitter enemy ; ho courts popularity and
loves recognition, and a little politic defer
ence to his personal claims might deprivo
the republican malcontents in tho House of
a formidable lender.
Enemies of llupltl Transit.
The "arguments" of the horse car rail
road companies have been convincing
enough to defeat rapid transit in New York,
or at least to prevent the passage of a bill
designed to effectually aid in its speedy
completion. Tho city members of the As
sembly who have put themselves on record
as the enemies of the greatest blessing that
could be bestowed on the people
of the metropolis, and especially on
the poorer classes, will be remembered
if they should ever offer themselves as can
didates for anoth r public trust. Rapid
transit would release the laboring classes
from their present comfortless, unhenlthful
lodgings in crowded tenement houses and
give them cheap homes in the upper part of
the island, where they would have pure air
to breathe and where their children might
grow up self-respecting and happy. Rapid
transit would enable working mon and
women to get to their places of employment
in ten minutes instead of being compelled
to ride for an hour or an hour and a half
each way in a close, comfortless street car,
two-thirds of tho time without a seat. Rapid
transit would cause an immediate activity in
the building business and thus give employ
ment to thousands of idle men. Rapid
transit would enable clerks and mechanics
who are now driven to Brooklyn and New
Jersey to live in New York, and the cus
tom of an additional half million people
would thus be added immediately to our
retail stores. But rapid transit would take
money out of the treasuries of the rich
horse car lines, and a handful of selfish
land owners believe, or affect to believe,
that it might do some little injury to their
particular property. So a majority of the
Assembly, including some New York repre
sentatives, is induced to cut tho throat of
rapid transit and to do its best to deprivo
the city of the promised blessing.
Among the New York members who voted
in the interest of the horse ear railroad com
panies and against the interest! of tho peo
ple of New York were Messrs. Spinola,
Cozans, Strahan, Corsa and Langbein.
Some of these names will be recognized as
among those who have too often been fonnd
on the wrong side in former Legislatures,
and probably their opposition to rapid tran
sit might have been anticipated. The fault,
after all, is with those by whom they
were elected to the Assembly. Dr. Isaac
Hayes also voted and worked against the
bill which was designed to prevent factious
delays in the construction of a rapid
transit line. We regret to see a gen
tleman of the ability and reputation
of Dr. Hayes, misled by his sympathy for an
uptown clique of property owners into op
position to a great nnd desirable pnblio
measure. Of course those New York mem
bers who voted against the injunction bill
affected to be nt the same time friends of
rapid transit. But this is a false nnd un
worthy pretence. They are the enemies of
rapid transit?tlio enemies of the suffering
people,of New York? and it is proper that
our citizens should know their true charac
ters.
Municipal He for in.
We urge that a strong pressure of public
sentiment upon the State Legislature be
kept up nntil the Senate and Assembly
shall have taken favorable nction on the re
forms advocated by Mr. Evarts and others
at the Stoinway Hall meeting on Saturday
evening. The constitutional amendment
recommended by Governor Tilden's muni
cipal commission meets with very little
open or direct opposition. Even Mr. John
Kelly expresses approval of its substance,
and in tlio absence of any serious contest
the Legislature should not hesitate to pass
it. The responsibility of this Legislature in
relation to it is very slight. This Leg
islature does not make a final decision
of the question ; it merely passes it on to
ward a further hearing. If the people
should discover reasons for disapproving it
they will elect a now Legislature next tall
which will carry out their wishes. But
even when the people shall have approved
it this year, and the next Legislature shall
have indorsed it, it will still remain within
control of the voters. The final judgment
of the people, ratifying or rejecting it, will
not be pronounced until the autumn of 1878.
Even if this Legislature should pass a hasty
judgmont there will be ample opportuni
ties for revising it; but the amendment is
bo right and wise that we believe that tho
moro it is considered the more strongly it
will be approved. It is the plain duty of
the Legislature to act upon it and let the
discussion proceed.
Now, if the proposed amondment is sound
the pending bills which ure in accordance
with it and anticipate its reforms ought to
be passed. If the amendment is adopted
the changes it will bring to this city will
then be slight. If the amendment is rejected
we shall still have the benefit of the reform.
If, on trial, the changes arc not found to
work well, that will be a good-reason for
voting againBt the amendment. The passage
of tho bill* which look in tho lame direction
as the amendment will materially enlighten
the judgment of the people respecting its
merits before they are called to vote upon it.
Civil Service Reform.
While approving the efforts of Secretary
Sohurz to reorganize his department in ac
cordance with sound ideas of an efficient
civil service we trust that reform in that
direction is not to be limited to the volun
tary action of members of the administra
tion. Unless something more solid and
enduring is attempted the civil service re
formers will build upon the sand, and when
the winds blow and the floods come their
edifice will be undermined nnd swept away.
If this reform is of any value it should not
rest on the discretion or caprice of indi
vidual officers of the government. They
hold their places by a frail tenure;
they come and go; it frequently happens
that there are several successive heads of the
same department in the course of one ad
ministration, and so long as the civil ser
vice is left to be regulated by the mero
views of transient heads of departments we
can have no assurance that what one officer
docs his successor will not subvert. It is
indispensable to put this important sub
ject under the stable control of law and not
leave it to the caprice of individual men.
It so happens that Secretary Schurz has
distinguished himself by zealous, persistent
advocacy of a reform in our civil service,
and he is bound in all consistency to prac
tise what he has preached. But it
is unfortunately true that a major
ity of our experienced public men do
not share either his views or his zeal, and
if, by the accidents of politics, he should go
out of oflico next year or tlio year after there
are many chances that his successor would
be indifferent to his reforms. Neither in
this matter nor in any important matter do
we want a government of individual caprice,
but a government of laws. Playing at
civil service relorm is merely writing in the
water until we can regulate the appoint
ment, qualifications and tenure of officers
by strict and stable law. Congress might
pass efficient laws, but it is not expedient to
trust this matter even to the discretion of
Congress. Tho laws passed by one Congress
can be repealed by any other; and a demo
cratic Congress which found all tho offices
filled by the republican appointees of pre
ceding administrations would be strongly
tempted to repeal laws which prevented
their party from receiving what it "would
consider an equitable share of the offices.
The only effective way to grapple with the
evil is by amending the constitution, as
President Hayes acknowledged in his inau
gural address. The one term amendment
which he recommended would remove the
chief temptation to abuse the appointing
power, and if this were accompanied by
another amendment making minor civil offi
cers irremovable except for dishonesty or
inefficiency there would be no further
trouble on this head.
As a provisional reform, until the constitu
tion can be amended, we would gladly see a
law passed by Congress forbidding, under
severe penalties, the payment of money for
election expenses by federal office-holders.
It should bo a penal offence, involving for
feiture of office, either to solicit such money
or to pay it Such contributions aro in tho
nature of bribes paid by office-holders to
retain their places, and it ought to be treated
with as little mercy as any other kind of
bribery practised in connection with elec
tions or with tho acquisition of office. Such
a law, and one or two others that might be
suggested, would do a great deal toward
divorcing our civil Bervice from active
politics; but the only efficient remedy is to
bo found in an amendment to the constitu
tion. On this great subject nibbling reforms
arc no real reform at all.
A Brooklyn Romance.
If tho fact of Miss Clara Taylor's marriage
to Mr. William Wade had not been made a
matter of newspaper talk we should hesi
tate to offer the young bride our congratu
lations in this public manner on the linppy
event. Mrs. Wado happens to be an heiress.
She possesses the snug sum of one hundred
thousand dollars in her own right, besides
tho wealth she is to inherit on tho death of
her mother. It is true that a husband had
been picked out for Clara by her mother,
and that Clara, in choosing the happy and
fortunate Mr. William Wade, trusted to her
own judgment and studied her own feelings
without consulting her only living parent.
She took the bridal bit into her teeth,
as it were, and ran her own course.
Everything indicates that she has not
chosen badly. Mr. Wado is said
not to be rich in the world's goods, but ho
is described as a young man of lino pirsonal
appearance, pleasing address and good char
acter. What could tho young Williamsburg
heiress desiro more? Eesidos, William
Wade has proved himself a man of honor.
Having inudo the girl his wife, and thus se
cured her property, ho has voluntarily
signed a stipulation so tying up all Clara's
money that the happy couple ran only
draw tho interest of it during their lifetime,
wliilo the principal is to remain sacred for
their clii drcn. May their home be blessed
with niuny of tliom !
Who Kills Sew Yorker 11
The city of New York has every nntnr.il
reason to be tho healthiest city in the world.
In the main it is a very narrow, elevated
strip of land which receives benefit from
every breeze that blows. Its sewage is re
moved by two groat rivers and its streets are
all broad enough to catch air and sunlight;
and yet its averago mortality is greater than
that ot almost any other city in tho United
States, and greater, too, than that of many
an old European city of unbealthful repute
and unfortunate location. All explanations
based upon tho great number of ignorunt,
brutish pooplo who herd together here, and
among whom a large proportion of tho mor
tality occurs, are unsatisfactory, for every
city has its low classes. The cause of the
trouble is to be found in tho inaction of tho
Hoard ol Health. Whatever this body has
really done to lessen the rate of mor
tality?and we gladly admit that it
has done something?tho iact remains
that the same Honrd is principally con
spicuous for what it haH not done. Of the
competency of some of its members there can
be no doubt; of their activity, however,
there is comparatively little to be said. In
| a special paper on another page is suggested
some reasons why the success of the Board
is not what it should be, and to this we
would call special attention. The physical
well being of a large city is of too much con
sequence to be dependent upon a quartet
of which each member is too busy elsewhere
to do the city proper service. Most people
believe that the members of the Board of
Health know what should be done to im
prove the physical condition of the citizens,
but every one knows that it is not done. If
the condition of the streets were a matter of
private instead of public interest there would
be incessant talk and effort on the part of
men as intelligent as those who compose the
Board of Health, but as matters are the pro
tests of the Board are as infrequent and feeble
us those of legislators against the tricks upon
rapid transit Nobody knows better than
the medical members of the Board that sew
ers whose mouths are ever uncovered by the
tide are unequalled as agencies for the dis
semination through dwellings of the seeds
of disease; yet, for anything that the Board
says or does, the public might suppose that
the circulation of poison germs was a spe
cial local blessing. People are allowed to
build houses as impossible to ventilate as
the interior of the Great Pyramid, and the
Board allows these pest houses to be ten
anted without a word of protest or warning.
One of two conclusions is inevitable. We
either need a Board composed of working
sanitarians or we must be satisfied with a
body whose ability is after the pattern of
that of the Irish pilot who showed his
knowledge by naming dangerous rocks
after his ship had been wrecked upon
them.
Defeat of Canadian ProtectionUta.
The Canadian protectionists in the Da
minion Parliament are making a desperate,
but apparently hopelesB, fight against the
"Revenue Tariff" policy of the government.
They have successively offered amendments
increasing the proposed malt tax, favoring
protection to agriculture, declaring for a
protective duty on all manufactured goods,
and pronouncing for a tax that would aid
the industries of the colony instead of
the tax on tea. As each item comes up it is
met by some sort of amendment from the
opposition, but on the vote the government
steadily carries the day by a substantial ma
jority. The motions of the protectionists
are like the motions of a contortionist. They
are twisted into all sorts of shapes and made
to look as unnatural as possible, now rolled
into a ball as if the backbone was
composed of india rubber, and now
with the chest bone arched like a
camel's hump and the head buried out of
sight. But throughout the performance the
true form of the protectionist is recognized,
and although on many of the minor details
of the tariff the governtnent forces are not
in accord they are proof against the seduc
tive ingenuity of the opposition tactics. It
may, therefore, be regarded as certain that
the low revenue tariff favored by the Mac
kenzie administration will succeed, and this
may, perhaps, be regarded as a step in the
direction of free trade.
An attempt has been made daring the
past week to embarrass the government
while the tariff discussion was going on by a
"labor demonstration" at the capital. The
unemployed gathered at Ottawa in force,
and it has been charged that there were
among them jnore politicians than actual
laborers. However, Mr. Mackenzie appears
to have headed off the threatened danger by
the bold policy of meeting and addrossing
the crowd. The opposition attack him for
what they call this unprecedented course;
but if he had acted otherwise they would have
charged him with a lack of sympathy with
the suffering people. His address was a
shrewd stroke of policy and effectually de
feated the plans of his enemies. It is not
difficult to convince labor that protection
can never be its friend. The protectionists
desire prohibitory duties to enable them in
their several interests to enrich themselves
by high prices. As soon as they secure pro
tection they grind down labor ; for if the
price of labor should be allowed to rise cor
respondingly with prices the object of the
protectionist would be lost. The high tariff
man is always the low wages man. This the
people understand in Canada as well as
elsewhere, and it is not remarkable that the
Ottawa unemployed labor demonstration,
although promoted by the protectionist op
ponents of the government, failed to yield
them any comfort or advantage.
Honors to Deserving Officials?Re
ward* to Deserving Discoverers.
Another of our "Complaint Book" corre
spondents suggests that the officials of the
Street Cleaning Bureau should be honored
by a grniul serenade in viow of their extraor
dinary efficiency in keeping the streets
dirty. He proposes that the instruments
employed shall be the old tin kettles
picked out of the ash barrels and refuse
that encumber the sidewalks and
fill the gutters in front Of private
residences in New York This is really an
excellent idea, and we heartily indorse it
and recommend its adoption without delay.
The bursts of melody could be heightened
l>y chimes of scavengers' hand bells and a
grand illumination ot Mulberry street, pro
duced by old fruit cans and broken bottleb
filled with putrid fat ond burning with
rag wicks. What a fairy scene would
result! Then we could have singing by
a select choir of Baxter street artistes
who, coming'from the sunny land of song
and understanding all the selections suit
able to tho occasion, would wake the echoes
in Polico Headquarters with sweet strains
that if telephoned to Offenbach would make
him grow pale with envy. Just fancy how
beautifully the solo "Nowhere to dump,
naught to cremate," would Hound with
an accompaniment on the ash bar
rel organ. Our correspondent's idea is a
magnificent one and should be carried out.
We will, however, suggest another plan to
keep up the enthusiasm of the people of
New York with regard to this great bureau.
Let the Mayor issue his proclamation offer
ing a handsome reward to the party who
first discovers where the money is dnmped.
If this is done nothing will exceed the wild
delight of New Yorkers at tho prospect of
learning something about a mystery that
now painrally presses on the pnblie mind. A
statue in Central Park would not be too
great an honor for the lucky discoverer.
* t
Katatonia,
There is an unappreciated genius in med
ical science who lias discovered a new kind
of insanity. Not the starry Galileo himself,
nor Columbus, nor Newton, nor any other
man, has done more than this to lighten
the darkness in which we live. Another
kind of insanity is perhaps the greatest
boon that an inventor, discoverer or patent
agent could offer to a waiting world. It
appears that this kind of insanity consists
in the fact that a man has an overweening
notion of his own importance. For a
typical case of this maludy we might
perhaps cite that famouB democratic
doorkeeper who pronounced himself a
"bigger man than Old Grant." John Kelly
was a most flagrant instance when he pro
posed to fill all the offices in the city with
excellent men chosen by himself. Tweed
was another case, though he is nearly
cured, if we may judge from the tone of his
letter to Charles O'Conor. It is not quite
certain but that Grant had a touch of this
affliction when during eight years he la
bored under the delusion that he was Presi
dent of the United States. Blaine was cer
tainly touched in his wits in this way when
ho thought he hnd only to roar a little in the
Senate to compel HayeB to apologize and
appoint the Cabinet of Blaine. In fact, we
find a great many cases, and may say that if
a doctor had not told us this malady was
new we should not have known it. It seems
as if it were the oldest affliction man is sub
jeot to.
PERSONAL INTELLIGENCE.
Pickaxes are good for warts.
Chenille trimming is now in vogae.
Silver buttons are used on ligbt woollen dresses.
Mrs. Elizabeth Cady Stanton is looturing in Onto.
Ex-Mayor Wickhara, of Now York, la in Oaltfornla.
Vulcan red ana mandarin yellow are tbe two loading
oolors.
Senator Timothy O. Howe, of Wisconsin, list the
Windsor.
It Is about time for Wendell Phillips to have another
convulsion.
Black enshmore wraps are noat and ladylike, though
not dressy.
Ladies who prefer light shoes wear sida laced gaitora
made of kid and serge.
Egyptian cloth, with raised arabesques and palm
leaves, is used for doimas.
Ex-Governor Walker, of Virginia, has sixty votes
pledged to hi in for Speaker.
Rows of buttons, lapped as it strung on a thread, are
usod on all kiuds of dresses.
Tbe increased use of tbe sowing machine is notice,
able on the hundsomost Paris dresses.
Adam Smith says that men are sympathetic when
they Imitate. This does not refer to forgers.
Ole Bull's gray hair streams over bis temples, not so
much llko a looming cascade as a limp dish rag.
Senator Patterson rubs his gray bair over bis eyes
and wonders why ho gave hfmsolf away to Hampton.
Philadelphia liulletin .-?"When Diana changed
Aclteon into a stag did she wish him to become mors
deer to horf"
Sir Charles Dodsworth, of Yorkshire, England, ar*
rived lrom Liverpool in the steamship City of Rich
mond, and is at the Clarendon.
Vetroit Fret ITett .???'Mrs. Soutnworth, the novel.
1st, says she would have bad tbreo or four more in
itials beforo bar narao if nor father hadn't been easily
discouraged."
Miss Susan B. Anthony is leoturlng in Illinois anf
Wisconsin. Sho is making her way westward to Colo
rado, where she Intends to take an activo part In th<
woman suflrage canvass noxt summer.
Tbo young lady ol twonty who bus In the street ear*
usually has u guide of forty In a woman who Is not too
youw f?r foolishness nor too old for Intrigue; and
the result is that the younger woman Is sweet and
demuro.
What is Ico eroam without vanilla? What are Lyon
nalse potatoes without parsley? What Is a woek's
washing without clothespins? What is a ten dollar
hat without a ten cont ribbon? What aro the United
Slates without a President?
Wo are told by Colenua that Spinoza, wbon he
wished for relaxation, would sot spldcis to flgbl with
ono another or would throw flies into thn spider#
webs, taking such delight in the spcctaclo of tho com
bat that bo sometimes laughed outright.
Wo were shown yesterday a picco of stone quarried
In North Carolina, it was gritty and hard, but it was
so elastic that It bent llko a picco of lcatbor, and,
pulled lengthwise, it "gave" like a suspender. In this
respect it was very much like the conscience ot a
spring politician.
Mr. C. Galrdner, bead of the Union Bank of Scot
land, has printed an "Inquiry Into the Causes of
Fluctuation in Trade," in which he traces presont
troubles mainly to wars, loans to insolvent and Im
provident Stales, tho too rapid conversion of circu
lating into fixed capital and strikes.
It is to bo hopod that ex-Confoderato soldiers will
accept tho invitation of tho Grand Army of the Re
public to Join in the observance of Decoration Day
The idea of tbo organization is loyalty, and the ox-Con
federates will do moro toward reconciliation by thin
step than tho politicians can do In a year.
A unw device in the use of flowers has just come
Into uso In runs. It Is tbo wearing of a small bunch
ol iiutural llowors on tho shoos in place of the lace and
ribbon rosettes of a lew seasons ago. Tho lavorltes
arc primroses, yellow on one shoe, purple on the
other, or mixed on both. Violets aro much worn and
daisies urc Just coining In.
Evening Telegram:?"It Is gcnorally understood that
Mr. W. D. Howell*, ibo managing editor of tho Atlantit
MunlJily, is to bo Chargd d'AIIuiros at Dome, Switzer
land, which, in many rospocts, is one of the best diplo
mat ic positions In all Europe. Mr. Howells has tws
claims to tbo position. Ono is that be is Mrs. Hayes'
kinsman. The other Is that bo Is Mr, Hayes'
biographer."
Milwaukee Times:?"Wo can tench youth virtue In
no cflectual way but by inciting them to emulate tho
high and noblo In tneir community. If tho models ere
probably spurious wo are conspirators against our own
children wild cowards to boot If we rost until we know
| whether they are or not." 'the Timet might have
added that wo sometimes prnise a man to our children
when we absolutely know lie is a humbug and that we
then wonder why the child is ruined.
Cornell iocs one will sco two girls of seven or eight
years got into u at reel car. Tliey belong to different
lam tile*. One, who is a little girl, will awkwardly
squirm and lldgot along the seat and wonder at tho
signs and stare at tnu big ladles. The other, who la a
Utile ludy, will llx her skirts about her legs for fear
some man may Bee them, and will pull hor veil about
her lorebcad and pay tho exact faro and shako down
tho pcunica in her chum pockcibook; and the lltlla
girl Is sweeter than the port llttlo body.
A gentleman went to a prlvnto lunatic asylum which
bo had previously vmitod, und seeing thcro a distin
guished looking man silting moodily alono, went up and
snld to him, "How do you do? I think I havo seen
you before. May I ask you your nnmo?" "My
enmo ?" returned tho man flerooly, "1 am Aloxandcr
theGreatl" "Wny," said tho visitor, who suddonly
remembered having already had a discussion with tbo
man, "the last limo I was hero you wcro St. l'aul!"
"Yes, ol course," the man rejoined quickly, "but that
whs by the tlrsl wile."
TVkzki.v Hirald:?"lfyou hnvo an unsightly mantel
lot a eurpouier inako you a board, and cover It with
blue, pink or cnrdinal paper muslin. Place tbo board
over the mantel; cut a picco of muslin the length of
tbo board, In some pretty, lanclful shape, und drape it
around tho odgo of tho mantel. Lambrequin patterns
may bo purchased, but aro not necessary If ono will
cxorciso a llttlo tnste. Cover Ibowbole with plain 01
dotted Swiss or Nottingham lace, cither ol which can
bo had for twenty-Ave cents a ynrd. Where any loop
ing la needed place a knot of ribbon of tbo same abode
aa tbo moaUn lining"