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-S5h(f (ol urn bin if AN INDEPENDENT'' JOURNAL, i cnunii-u kveiiy tuTCnDAV, ih nioomrtiurff, Ceiu'mljlri Coulitf) l'rt. rnnMsi mti! oj; gdwrlisinjg. OnoPiilrtri,,ruie(irlhir(ililertl(iit .. ..f 1 M llmh Mih-wilicTit Insertion Imtluin thlileen. Due S'lmnto one iniinlh., .....,..,w,,..,.. 1 AO '1 wo " .... .... S (0 Threo " " 6 ) I'our " " 0 (0 Half column " , 10 no One eiiliiinii " 15 10 K.xeeiltor's nnd Administrator' Notices fl (10 Auditor's Notices SW IMIIorlnl Notices twenty lents per line. Oilier iidvertlsemcnts instiled according to spe rial conlruct. Two poltars n yenr, lit fMvntfcb". it ifot paid til I uJvniujf, Two Dollnrn mill Fifty Collin. Addrem 11 letters to rii.'oiion it. jiootin. Editor of the C'oi.umiiia!), llloonubiirft, Columbia County, IVw VOL. I.-NO. 13. BLOOMSBURG, SATURDAY, JULY 28, 1SG0 MICE FIVE CENTS. V V7 s -USEES' V - . V V X NNV7VJV tk It elr ll'l- lll- Vi .'ill .111 In- th .lit. .HII Ul. I l.i Hr -ill. II... Uv- .' I') II 01 7 V I l II l .0 Ul leu. Nil nil. dill nisi lie. i led .mi. iMHll lll.lt lll-l I.K cur, H e, If lulit. Hi', Iiero Wll'l h.if; nll'l .nil- M.V liem II l ;i ul "7 hi :u Hi 1111 unit 0- ptlll- ex THE OLD STORY. Come nit by rac, ICnty, nnd tell mo Of what ho w talking lint night I Wliou you stood nt tho gnto till tho moonbeam llnd quenchod all tho stnrn with her light I Yon ctimo buck with cliwkR Blowing crimson, And oyelailicn gllltrrlnR with trairs, And n nmllo which, linlf and, liulf trlumplinnt, 'Htlll over your swcot mouth nppenrs. i)ld ho litlk of tho bounty of Bummer? Or priilio tho wild roue's perfume? Or'snonl: of our nrljom so ruitle, Where vroodblno nnd Jnsntnlnc bloom? Ho told you "nKtoryl" Oil 1 did he? . Well, Knty, denr, toll 11 to inol You'vo "nlmatt forgot It?" Already I 'H6w very much fluttered hu'd bo I Y.o'il sti'y Hint you "think I mny guesi It I" . ..Vm, Ktttr, Uie tory I know: 'Tf'fc'n old tiilo, yet always h mweot ono I'm ccVtnln that you found It no. Jl tfttS few In the (lrt dny of Adam, V lioil.rtniUlerlnR throuuh IMon'ii tilr bowers, In JSvo'n Httie' tar it wns w hlpertd, )Vi.V "m'i I'lusiililrfi pluyed with the flowers. You're blushl.."1 tooi ,vl,t ''"I "ittcrT Why, what arn,-"Ucry"'K'',,"u" Your Rrnn.lf.ither told Rmndniotlicr The very Mima story, no u' Junt three little words tell this ttory- What tliousnndt of heiirts they have ti.'rllled I How many with Joy they have gladdened I How many w Ith sorrow havo tilled I These threo little words! " I lovo you I" You 'tis tho cry Mime tale That you heard thero last night by tho woodbine, Jlennoth tho moon's sllicry veil. Don't say I know notlihiR about It You know very well It Is true; Tint Katy, my dear, did you tell him Tho same story that he told to you ? I THE VICTIMIZED LODGER. s nY PAUL Cnr-YTON". if Mil. Bknjamin F. Dkuiiy returned to town nntl his lodgings at Mrs. Covey's rather sooner than ho was expected. It ? wns late In the evening, and having en tered by means of his night-key, nnd finding nobody stirring, ho walked lcls- ' nrely up to his room. This was the apartment Mr. Derby al- wayti occupied In Mrs. Covey's house ; ' Jmt on this occasion Itseemed very little llk liome. Heforo leaving town he had v unrcfulLv nut away all his clothes in his 1 trunks, and during his absence other j revolutions had been mane m tne room which cave It a diirerent air. Not the least disagreeable thing in tho -r room was darkness. Mr. Derby liad en erctl without a lamp, expecting to llnd 4 that desirable article in tho old place; if liut after knocking over an ink-bottle, a "a vase, and a snuii-nox in ins uiiiuisearcn, ' ilio concluded that the wisest coin-Mi 'NVould be to stop swearing and go to bed In tho dark. In no very good humor Mr. Dcnjamin F. Derby began to undress. To return homo after an absence of two weeksand to be obliged to go to bed in such a dis mal manner, almost broke his heart. lie might havo rung for the servants, it Is true; and lie might have reflected that his friends were excusable, since they did not expect him; but Mr, Benjamin F. Derby chose to bo angry and silent. "And where Is Margaret Maria?" muttered tho unhappy man. "Oh, ' faithless daughter of an unfeeling land lady I I didn't expect this from you! When I toro myself from your arms two weeks ago you protested with tears ., In your eyes and perfidy In your heart ! that you would watch, witn tno an.v ious eves of love, for my return 1 Oh Ji this looks like HI Kven now, I know you are making yourself merry with somo fresh conquest, or, If you are slceuing under this roof, you are dream Ing of pleasure in which I havo no . ..... M. l....t.,.,.l 1,1 snare!" no saying, inj.iuin. . Derby threw his trowsers on a clmir: nnd began to grope his way in uurKne.- to the head of tho bed. At this moment a merry laugh, close to his chamber door. b Ktartlcd him. Mr. Derby paused. " Margaret Maria's laugh, by all that is fnlsol" groaned Mr. Derby. " riho said she would do nothing but sigh and -it wocd during my absence and hear her '.' nh 1 sho laughs again ! The false heart ?nd-" & Mr. Derby's reflections were suddenly interrupted by a sound of a handgrastj "tflng his door-latch. With considerable trepidation ho How to lock tho door . "but before he could reach It, a merry ' laugh and a blaze of light and two girls ,uurt into tiieniuiii. Now Mr. Derby was a very modes person, and it was a lucky circumstance for him that tho closet door was ajar, the retreat convenient, and his limbs actlvc. IIo dodged out of sight beforo . ,1 - 1 Al 1 .... I 41..!.. ......J mo gins nun iiinu in nni uu-u i-,h.i jibout them; aud soon tho door was . iHhut, and Mr. Derby's ears pinned Hibat'k. Mi "Whattlmo do you supposo It Is -asketl Margaret Maria. "There, the Jk)1Is arc btriklng twelve! Oh, hain't vo luul u jjay time, Susan V" 'Gay enough! JIu! ha! hut wouldn't your poor, dear absent Derby bo iinuised St ho know" "Hit! ha! ha!" laughed Margaret Maria. " My poor, dear absent Derby ! That is too good ! if ho knew! Poor fellow, it would break his heart. IIo Ihluks 1 do nothing but high and cry during his absence, Am I such a goosoj" " Such a gooso ! Oh !" groaned Derby, painfully Interested. "Oh." "Such n goosol" echoed Sue. "He wouldn't think of Jt if ho had -ecu you ncfltlug tho ojtors with Dan. Bobbins." "I only hoptf," added Margaret .Maria, " that ho will keep away a week longer." " So that wo can havo this room?" ".No not exactly that but Dan. has JnVlted mo to go to a hall on Thursday wight, nnd you know J couldn't go if my 'poor dear absent Derby' should comu back In the meantime." Derby was trembling with cold and wraih. " You mean to marry Derby then?" asked Susan. "I supposo I shall," cried Margaret Maria gnyly. " I llko to flirt with Dan. and if ho had as many dollars as my poor, dear ubent Derby" "You would choose Dan V" " To bo sure I would. Ho ain't such a fool as" "Derby. Ha! ha! Hut what Is this? A coat and pair of pataloons." "Good gracious! How did they conic here?" Derby was trembling with excitement burning with rage ; but now bo felt a new source of uneasiness. Tho dis covery of his pantaloons might lead to tho discovery of himself. Had ho been dressed ho would havo liked nothing better thuii to confront tho perfidious Margaret Jtfaria but for the present, It was not to bo i.'iotight of. He felt him self blushing all over, in spite of cold. To his relief, howovt'r, tho girls, after making out that that there was nobody in or iiluler tho bed, did not seem di"- pCied to inquire into tho.mysleryof tho pantaloons; but Margaret Maria ex claimed: " I'll tell you what I will do, Sue. I'll dress myself In Hie.-o clothes, and go Into tho" widow Hindu's room. She'll think it is a man, and won't sho be frightened?" "Frightened? No!" cried btisan. She's had two husband's. Hut do it. Sec what sho will say." "I will. Here, help me, Sue. Ha! hn! And there's a hat too. How kind somebody to leave all his clothes here!" Derby poor dear, present Derby was breathing very hard; his heart beat heavily, and every nerve shook. AN hat the deuce he was to do if Margaret Maria went oil" with his pants lie could in no manner determine ; and from the exceedingly interesting conversation which was going on ho knew that his worst fears wero to bo realized. "Oh, ain't it a fit," cried Margaret Maria. "Only turn up the trowsers Ave or six inches, and I shall bo lixed. Here, black my upper lip with this piece of coal, 1 shan't make love to you. J la! ha! ain't 1 dialling fellow?" And Derby could hear somebody kiss ing somebody and somebody laughing as though she could not help it. A moment after tho girls had left the room. Demy stoic timidly irom ins hiding-place. Margaret Maria had taken tho lamp and bis clothes with her; sho had left darkness and her own ulothcs behind. A happy thought struck unhiippv Derby. Jn all lutsto bo on robed himself in Margaret Maria's gown, then he put her shawl over his shoulders, and threw on her bonnet and veil. His eyes having been accustomed to the darkness, ho could see to do this without diiUculty. In five minutes he was ready to follow Sumui and Marga ret Maria. During this time there was a great deal of laughing up stairs. Margaret Maria in Derby's attire, went to Mrs Slado's room, who was a litllo startled at first, but who took things very coolly, until sho found that it was n t a man, after all, when sho virtuously gavo vent to her indignation. Tho adventurer next proceeded to the attic, whero the girls wero sound asleep. Sinan having placed the lamp in the passage, hid he hind the door, while Margaret Maria entered and awoke Jane Woods with a violent shower of kisses. Jane uttered a faint scream and demanded in a whis per "Who are you?" "Sh !" said Margaret Marin. Jane hushed accordingly, until she saw the strange figure proceed to Mary Clark's pillow, when she concluded that It was her duty to scream. Mary screamed, too, after sho had been sev eral times kissed; and Sarah Jones joined in the chorus until her mouth was stopped by a hasty buss. " Is it you, George? ' she whispered. At this moment the strange figure, which had been seen by tho light in tho passage, ran out, and Su-an, catching up the lump, ran In. "What is tho matter?" sho cried in pretended astonishment. "Thero is a man in tho room." "He was kissing Sarah Jones." "He didn't kiss me. Ho was kissing Mary Clark." " Mo? I gite? I'd havo torn Ills eyes out. It was Jauo Woods ho kl-sed." Susan was very much astonished of course, and the girls were all very In dignant; and no ono of them would confess that sho had been kissed, until Susan pointed out the marks of tho coal moustacho on all tlielr laces, and called In Margaret Maria. Then there wns n great deal of laughing ; and Mar garet Maria having gallanty kissed them nil, again set out to go down stairs. But now It was Derby's turn to have a little fun, and Margaret Maria's to he astonished. As Susan advanced the lamp sho carried revealed a frightful looking object standing at tho foot of stairs. It was apparantly a woman of gigantic structure; her dress was so short that her hare feet and ankles could bo seen distinctly ; and sho waved her largo bony hands at tho terrified girls majestically as a ghost. Never wero two mischief-makers moro frightened by an apparition. Susan dashed herself against the wall, t'p went a scream nnd tlown caino the lamp. Tho till covered tho siulr.-, and Margaret Maiia fainted and btcjipul Into it. ei that .moment tho tall woman being Derby himself cried " Bobbers I help I murder I" at tho top of his voice ; nnd Immediately stepped Into hU room, locking tho door behind him. Beforo Mnrgnret Mnrla recovered her scattered senses all tho boarders wero astir. Susan rushed Into Mrs. Slado's room; Margaret would havo followed her, but Susan lu her terror shut her out. Next Margaret tried her mother's door ; and her mother, hearing the alarm, appeared at that moment, and terrified by tho coal moustacho and smashed hat, took her own daughter for the robber, dropped her lamp, nud screnmed fearfully. Margaret, as much frightened as herself, would havo caught her In her arms, but Mrs. Covey would hear no explanation, nor allow her daughter to approach, and pushed her out of the room with great trepidation. Then Margaret Maria ran to Derby's room, which to her great consternation she found locked. At that moment Ned Perkins the boldest fellow in tho hou-c rushed out of his room with a lamp In one baud and a sword-cane in the other, ready drawn for combat. Ned flew at the supposed robber, and vould havo seized her in an instant, if sho had not properly seen lit to faint at the sight of his naked sword and legs, and fallen down beforo Mr. Derby's room. Her hat now came oil", her hair streamed down her neck, and Ned re cognized Miifgarel Maria. Anvbody can imagine the scene of confusion which followed. Tho impru dent girl found herself surrounded by half a dozen half-dressed figures, some wondering, some trembling with terror. But it was the severest cut for Margaret Maria, when the door of Derby's room opened, and the tall apparition appear ed. As soon as the screaming bad sub sided, the figure removed its veil. " Don't be frightened, Margaret Ma ria," it said. "It's nobody but your poor dear ab-ent Derby.' That's all." Can you fancy her feelings? Mr. Derby could as ho entered the room again, locked the door, nnd went to bed, overjoyed at what had occurred, lie slept soundly, and awoke in the morn ing as completely cured of his lovo for Margaret Maria as if he had seen her turned into a grizzly bear. GOOD ADVICE. It requires a highly cultivated moral nature to be able to accept with perfect gracioiisiiess a profiered tract. It is not flattering to your dignity to feel that it perfect stranger has picked you out at first sight as a human being who-o soul is in a very bad way indeed, and the im mediate impulse of the natural Adam is to snub the aggressor for his impertinent suggestion. A life spent in tho exercise of every virtueand restraint would prob ably teacli a man to curb his in-tinct of self-defence, and to treat thesolemu little warning with imperturbable composure. We ought, in theory, tofcel thankful to any ono who appears solicitous about our soul, Ju-tasmuchas if ho were solicitous about the state of our toiiguo; and though it is unnecessary to let thenma. tour physician haveasight of either, the true philosopher will bo able to meet tho inquiry in a kindly spirit, and to inform the -inquirer that everything is going on as well as can bo expected under the elr. cunistances. Itcannotafterallbe, atthe outset, a cheerful occupation (though it becomes natural enough in time to those who enter on it) to go about tho world giviiigawayaccounfsofcoii verted poach ers, and poking up every one to see If they know where they are going to. If somo-Traet Society would only pub lish nn nuthentic account of the way In which pigsor bores first nerve themselves to take to it, it would bo an interesting contribution to the hNtory of missionary labor. Tho thing begins In a laudable ambition to set about doing somebody good, andalady who-otiniehangsheavy on her haiuU will soon feel that giving away blankets is not such a high and worthy employment asglvlngaway good advice. 1 lor first essays are made upon the poor. Most poor people, especially in the country, can bo got to take any thing, provided only it is offered them by their richer neighbors; nnd the poor 'cem so receptive aud amenable tint it Isqultean encouragement to go a little higher,and to try and pracllseon therlch. In the outset, tho young enthusiast is usually a little bashful, and commences operations by dropping tho story ot the converted poacher furtively out of a car riage window, or leaving it, when no ono is looking, on tho table of some rail' way waiting-room. The next btep Is to send It anonymously by post, and in a disguised handwriting, to thoo of her acquaintances or neighbors who seeni from general appearances to need It most. But this modest wish to escape publicity presently wears oil', and It becomes com paratlvely oa-y to present the gilt in person to the casual stranger. It is clear that tho converted poacher can do no ono any real harm, and It is always potsible that his happy history may do sonio ono good, it is worth while, therefore, to take the chance, aud anv little rcbuir or annoyance which oc curs nt intervals during tho process of distribution is only n sort of humble martyr'acrown which It i.slhoyoungint.- sloimry'sliusiiiesstobowillingundproiuj to wear. To be perfectly consistent, sho ought not Indeed to confine herself to the distribution of tracts. The promiscuous dlsti'ibutloiiofpillsmlghlbejiistlficdau icconiiiKiided upon similar grounds and, if mice authorised by custom, would become. er. popular vithkuiiuiutdi trlbutors. No sensible person ought to 1)0 offended at being offered a really good pill, and thero would bo this advantage about tho distribution of pills, that the production of a pill-box does not neces sarily seem to imply a religious supe riority on tho part of tho plll-glver. A man may wnnt one without knowing it, or, if ho does not want it now, the time may come when ho will want it. At imy rate, It can do no harm to oiler It, and though tracts have this additional value, that they nro designed to minister to tho mind, It Is belter to minister to the body than not to minister to any-. tiling at all. Both sort.'i of ministration may accord ingly bo undertaken from a genuine de sire to promote tho welfare of one's fel low-creatures, and In theory it would nppear harsh and unkind to meet any Midi medicinal overtures with rudeness or discourtesy. Tracts and pills, after all, arc only what is meant for good ad vice, disguised, us the case may be, either in print or in sugar. And It seems doubtful, from a moral point of view, whether we ought to sneer at either lu tho presence of tho donor. Tho philan thropist who wishes to go through life giving as little pain ns po.-slblo will bo ns careful not to hurt tin; feelings of an enthusiast as he would be to avoid hurt ing a caterpillar, and will politely pocket for the moment anything that Is presented to him in tho way of sugges tion oradinonltlon. Sontepersonsnilght think It was a man's bounden dutv In such a ca-o to remonstrate with the in truder. Thisdoesnotseenisoclcar. At least it would only bo equivalent to re turning pill for pill, witli the certainty that the remonstrance, would be entirely thrown away. Controversy with a tract distributor, or any other distributor of good advice, is not likely to do the dis tributor any sensible good; and if he likes tospend his tinieiiithedistribution, it is, after nil, no business of ours. Good advice is a tiling which ought doubtless, on rare occasions, to lie fear lessly and frankly given, and yet it is one of those good things which are pro vorbially almo-t always valueless. An attempt to reform tho character of our neighbors, and to alter the current of their lives, cannot bo said to bo alto gether a forlorn hope, because every now and then It does by a miracle suc ceed. Tho phenomenon of conversion, though exceptional, is not utterly un known, and for tho best of reasons. The law of habit is probably tho strongest law ol our moral nature. Habit is tho lord of life, and the conibinationof motives which lends to action in any single case, the next time it presents it self, produces a similar etl'ect more easily and quickly. Soon habit becomes a second nature, and tho motives which nt first had to overcome a sort of n.s in- crlim within ns before they resulted in action and by influencing us instinct ively and immediately. It is on this account, as ancient phi losophers teach us, that education is so important. It presides over the forma tion of habits themselves, and whatever presides over tho formation of habits has in its hands tho direction of our futtiro career. The reason why conver sion is occasionally possible is, on tho other hand, tolerably plain. Habit, though powerful, is not omnipotent, for if it were, men would be at the mercy of their early training, and it would bo ns difficult to change character as it is to warp the growth of a tree. It rests originally, indeed, on a combination of motives, but the motives that make up tho combination do not invariably in hale among them all tho motives that may conceivably move us. Sumo are left outside, dormant, or even undis covered. Some that aro even included figure amongst the rest, It may bo, in u leepy kind of way, and are not what they might be if they were thoroughly aroused. Jt is never, therefore, certain that we may not at any epoch in our lives call into activity somo now motive which only requires to bo awakened in order to became completely predoml Hint. It is by hitting on somo such fre.h power within us that habits, however indurated, aro every now and then broken or dissolved. And thero arc periods in the history of nil of us when, from some undiscovered cause, we are more susceptible than usual to this in ternal commotion, which is to tho moral character what a revolution is to a State. The commotion is not, Indeed, univer sally productive of advantage, t'onver- Ions to evil, though infrequent, are not unknown. A man who has lived for years in temperance or sobriety in his maturer ago falls under tho .sway ot some passion which tears him loose from his moorings, and .-ends him adrift. But thoinfroquoiicy of this spectacle, as com pared with tho comparative frequency of tho converse, is due to tho fact that good habits are more firmly and reason ably set, in general, than bad ones. Tho former Imjily an original moral struggle, during the coiirso of which tenipta tions have been conquered and passions brought under control, and it is not often that an enemy once thoroughly defeat ed Is able to regain tho upper bund Hut habit, on the contrary, seldom In volvi-i the previous defeat of virtue. Virtuous impulses aro less Instlnctlvo and less clamorous than tho Instincts of passion ; they do not loudly proclaim themselves or hurry us away insplto of ourselves. They may easily exist with out ever having been noticed. A man may bo wicked without ever having listened tonnd positively decldodngniiist the appeal orvlrtue; but ho cannot be virtuous without having heard ami (lis j, vd the chit'ii-uf Ma, Judgment given In favor of good habits Is accord ingly less easily rever-ed,forlt pro-supposes a complete hearing and deter mination of the cause. It Is therefore true, as a general proposition, that when habits aro once formed, they nro usually broken to some good purpo-o ; nnd the possibility of contending even against this Inveterate tyranny with success justifies, in theory, the giving of good advice. The missionary may. by irood luck or good guidance, disturb from its lcthnrgy of years soinoadinlrableniotlve In tho bosom of his hearer that has never yet been energetic, far less been hitherto thoroughly discussed aud put down. The first essential to success In so philanthropic a mission Is that tho au thority of tho person who gives the good advice should bo unimpeachable. Be fore he gets a hearing ho ought to bo able to show that ho has a right to be beard. In order to obtain credit for this authority, he must convince us, first, that ho knows something about tho subject ; nnd, secondly, that ho is himself a person who merits that re spect which none deserve who do not practise what they preach. The casual tract-distributing young lady only, at bent, persuades those whom she ns-ails of the latter fact. Clergymen of an aggressive turn Usually fall to do much more. We feel that tho gentle man in awhile necktie, who is so urgent in talking to us about tho next world, means well, and Is a well disposed per son ; but this only constitutes a part, and a feeble part, of his title to be lis tened to. The next thing lie has to show Is that he understands what he is talk ing about, which he cannot do unless he understands n good deal about this world as well as about (ho next. And his honest Intcrfcre.'ce lu our afl'alrs makes him start nt something of a di.-advan-tage. It W, prima fttcie, doubtful whether a man who takes It so quietly for granted that he has something of importance to coniniuuicateisiiotdeflcient in judgment or good sense or knowledge of his snl ject. Before very long, unless he is a clever fellow, tho enthusiast puts him self out of court. He has only consid ered the matter from his own point of view, and has evidently never seen that his own point of view is limited. Siqi po.-ing, for example, that his hobby Is the wickedness of balls and theatres. 1 f he thinks them wrong, he obviously does not frequent them ; and if he does not frequent thuni, ho can scarcely know as much about them as tho.-o who do. It turns nut that his want of familiarity with them has led him from a distance to exaggerate their evils, and to neglect altogether the bright side of the picture. If ho oilers us, on the other hand, a short and instructive narrative of tho death-bed of a pious washerwoman, ho places himself in an equally palpable dilemma. Kithcr he thinks it will do us good, or he does not. If not, It is absurd to offer it fro u. If ho does, he nt once proves that he is ignorant enough to believe that the pious end of a washerwoniun has some bearing on the religious problems that present them selves to an educated person. And a man who can believe this is evidently little better than a monomaniac. It is pure waste of time to enter info a discussion with him, and if wo do so, it is for tho ike of that courtesy and those very good manners against which his p res umption is an ofl'onee. If, la-lly, he repudiates these narrow and somewhat obsolete methods of forc ing his opinions upon us, he still assumes tho position of a teacher who has some thing valuable to recommend to our no tice. The position is an invidious one, and challenges attack. In ninety-nine cases out of a hundred it turns out that his assumption is purely baseless. lie starts from picini.-es which do not em brace all the prenii-es that bear upon tho point, or he merely repeals over again what lias been said much better by others, with who-o arguments we nro familiar. If the account wo haveabove given of the process qj' conversation be approximately correct, it is certain , even if ho is in the right, that the only seri ous chances lie can havo will be with those who aro thoughtless or who aro Ignorant. Wo feel that he has no bus! uess to take It for granted that wo are ither. Thoughtles-uesS with tho edu- ated is a raro phenomenon ; ignorance cm only be dispelled by one who is better informed than ourselves. Ill attack, therefore, amounts to an asser tion either that we aro living in pure recklessness as to what Is right, or to an assertion that ho Is better Instructed on Intellectual or religious subjects than we, Kithcr of these us-ertions is more or less of a crime against good sciuo and decency, and tho man who makes it in an oil-hand way to tho first stranger he meets merits a rebufl. i el if the rebuff is administered ho thinks it hard. 11! intentions, ho says to himself, wero so good. The proper answer to this apology Is, that though his intention-im good his Ignorance or his conceit is anything hut good, Beforo proposing to teach tho world, It was his buslnes-. to find out what the world already knew. Kcllg Ion does not command any one to be !g. norant, nor !.- It an excuse for that l'liar- 1-alcal self-satlstactiou wnlcii is ui:ln to Ignorance His religious feelings may bo genuine, but they no more warrant him in ollerliig us a tract than In otier iug us a slap In tho face. To decline It with the equanimity with which one declines a pinch of siiull Is perfectly nl lowablo from every mortal point of view. To accept It with composure is ns we have ob-erved, tho high pvh liege of the true phlhisonher. tils an Irritating feature about most of tho good advice which It Is a man's misfortune to receive, Unit It Is given by way or satisfaction to the donor, nulto ns much as to benefit tho recipient. Peo ple gel into, a vague way of thinking that it is their prerogative to go through life " doing good." No term Is so com monly or so abominably misused. 11 means In the mouths or tho majority of those who Use It, " otiiploymentof ineir imperfect moral Jtui,-"icnt unon their neighbor's business. This yearn ing to havo a finger in every moral or plritual pie Is seldom disinterested. It is dictated less, perhaps, by a wish to benefit one's species than by a wish to gratify one's own cravings after Influ ence and missionary work. A similar phenomenon is often seen in more world ly matters. A morbid deslro to interfere with or to Influenceothers Is more light ly excused by one's own conscience If ono is able to argue that, after all, the Interference Is meant to bo exercised for tho advantage of those on whom we force It. The conscqucneo of this Is that half the good advice pressed upon us In worldly matters is purely bad advice. I People begin to advise without qualify ing themselves for tho post of adviser. A cynic might not unnaturally come to tho conclusion that no gratuitous ad vice nt all is worth having. When a man wants it he can always ask for it ; nnd If the doctors and lawyers wero animated with a passion for advising gratis, their counsel would be given with less sense of responsibility, witli less discrimination, and therefore to less purpose. Doctors and lawyers, howev er, have this merit, that they have at least studied tho questions on which they oiler their opinion. Amaleurs, whether in theology or business, can not always say as much. Thcreare t wo pieces of good advice which might per haps be offered in return to all those who are about gratuitously to give good ad vlco to others. The first would be not to give it. This recommendation, bow- ever, will never be followed until the moral character of the would-bo advis ers is permanently reformed. It would bo too distasteful to be popular. The second is, not to give good advice until one is quite sure that one has it to give, and that one is not preaching to a per son who knows moro already about the mutter than we can tell him. Polonitt in virtue of his parental dignity, had a right to give Laertes as much advice as lie could carry. Polonius, however, or indeed I'olonla. in a railway-carriage or in a drawing-room, grafifyinghisorher ambition to be of some influence in the world, is of less service to society than Polonius or Villoma would bear patient, ly to be told. London Saturday Jkcicw LOVE. With man love is never n passion or such intensity and sincerity as with wo man. She is a creature of sensibility, existing only in the outpourings ami sympathies of her emotions; every earthly blessing, nay, every Ihravenlv hope, will bo sacrificed for her affections. She will leave the sunny home of her hildhood, tho protecting roof of her indred, forget the counsels of her sire, the admonishing voice of that mother on whose bosom her head has been pil lowed, forsake all she has clung to in her years of girlish simplicity, do all that woman can do consistently with honor, and throw herself into tho arms of the man she idolizes. 1 To that would forsaken woman after these testimonies of nll'ectlon is too gross a villain to bo .tilled a man. Tho wrath of Heaven will pursue him, the brand of Cain is upon his brow, and tho etirso of Judas will rankle at his heart. Unrequited love with man is to him never a cause of perpetual misery; other dreams will flow in upon ids Imagination; tho ab straction from business, the meteor of ambition, or tho pursuit of wealth will win him away from his early infatua tion. It is not thus with woman. Al though thescene may change, nnd years long, withering, and lingering years, steal away tho rose from tho cheek of beauty, the ruins of a breaking heart cannot bo amalgamated ; the memories of that idle vision cannot lie obliterated from tho soul ; sho pines, nerves herself anew with pride, and pines away again, until her gentle spirit bids adieu to the treacheries of earth, and lilts away into the bosom of her God. AN UNGRATEFUL GUEST. A Maciuioxian soldier, who had often distinguished himself by his valor and received marks of Philip's favor and approbation, was onco wrecked by a violent storm, and cast onshore, help less, naked, and scarcely with the up- pearaneo or lite. In this condition lie was round by a stranger residing near tho coast, who, with the utmost human ity and concern, flew to his relief, bore him to his house, laid him on Ids own bed, revived, cherished, and for forty days supplied him freely with all the necessaries and conveniences which his languishing condition could require. The soldier rescued from death was in cessant In his professions of gratitude; and being furnished with a sum of money to pursue hi-Journey, he left his benevolent host ; but no sooner did the wretch return to court, than ho obtain ed from Philip a grant of tho land of hi benefactor, whom ho Immediately drove from his settlement. The poor man, stung with such nu instance of ba.-o in gratitude, addressed u letter to Philip, representing his own and the soldier's conduct In a lively aud ulli'cll ng manner The king was fired Willi liiillgunilon ; he ordered that Justice Miould be In stantly done; that tho poor man's pos session should bo restored; and having seized' tho soldier, caused his forehead to bo branded " Tho Uiigrutorul Guest ;" n character Infamous lu every age, and among all nations, but particularly among the Greeks, who wero Jealously observant or the lnA's of hospitality.- OCCUPATION OF EX-GENEBALS. Tin: American War Department has been for some time preparing an army register, which shall contain tho niinio of all tho soldiers In the Federal armlesr hen completed Ilwlll be composed of nvo volumes of six hundred pages each. Tho present ooccuprttlon of seine of tho I'cderal Generals will. ncrhaiH. bo' of Interest. Burnsldo Is railroad agent in tho Pennsylvania oil region; Buflcr is a Massachusetts manufacturer ; Schiii'. is in w iishinglon, correspondent of tho New York Tribune; Slegel Is tho editor of aGeiman paper In Baltimore ; Frank lin is superintending Colt's armory tit nnrtiord ; w. s. Smith, of tho cavalry.- Is selling groceries til Chicago; M. It. ratricK, I'rovost-Marshal General of Grant's army, is a New York farmer; Ferroro is teaching dancing; Percy v yndiiam is a fencing master. Amomr tho Confederates, Buckner is a New Orleans editor; Gardner, of Port Hud son memory, is a local reporter; tho General who drove olf Franklin and his fifteen thousand troops nt the famous attack upon Sabine Pass, is a bar-keeper at Houston, Texas ; G. F. Anderson was first n butcher, but now an auctioneer; u. M. t'orrest runs asaw-indl in Ten nessee; and Wheeler is a commission merchant in Augusta. Georirla. The Times J'hihukljthiu Correspondent. TIIE EVE OF BATTIiE'. It would be difficult to convey to tho mind of an ordinnry reader anything like n correct notion of the state of feel ing which takes possession of a man waiting for the commencement of ti battle. In the first place, timo appears lo move on leaden wings; every minute seems an hour, nnd every hour a day. Then there is u strange commingling or levity and seriousness within him; it levity which prompts him to laugh, ho knows not why, nnd n seriousness which urges him ever nnd anon to lift up a mental prayer to tho Throne of Grace. On such occasions litllo or no conversa tion passes. The privates generally lean on their firelocks, the officers on their swords ; and few words, except mono syllables, in reply to questions put, tiro spoken. On theso occasions, too, tho faces of the bravest often change their color, and tho limbs of tho most reso lute tremble, not with fear, but with anxiety; while watches are consulted, till tho Individuals who consult them grow absolutely weary of the employ ment. On tho whole, It is a situation of higher excitement and darker and deeper agitation than any in human life; nor can he bo said to feel all that, man is capable of feeling who has not filled It. Siege of St. Sebastian. MARRIAGE. Wir ATr.vr.n faults Voltaire may havo had, ho certainly showed himself a man of senso when ho said: "Tho moro married men you have, tho fewer crimes thero will be. Marriage renders a man moro virtuous and wiser." An unmar ried man is but half of a perfect being, and it requires the other half to mako things right; and It cannot bo exicct- cd that in this imperfect state ho can keep tho straight path of rcctititudo any moro than a boat with ono oar, or a bird with ono wing, can keep a straight course. In nine cases out or ten, where men become drunkards, or whero they commit crimes against the peace of tho community, the foundation of these acts was laid while inusinglostato,orwhero the wife Is, as is sometimes tho case, an unsuitable' match. Marriage changes the whole current of a man's feelings, and gives him a centre for his thoughts, his affections, and Ills acts. Hero Is it home for tho entire man, and tho coun sel, tho affections, tho example, and tho interests of ids " better halP' keep him from erratic courses, and frpm falling Into a thousand temptations to which ho would otherwiso bo exposed. There fore tho friend to marriage is a friend to society and to his country. In the United States there arc about 00,000 common schools, which aro sup ported In part by tho State Treasury, aud partly by school funds and school taxes, hi Kngland and Wales thero aro Id,OI2 public and privato schools, atten ded by 2,1 11,1578 scholars. In addition thero aro 1,515 evening schools, which provide for :i!),7M children. Tho num ber of Sunday schools is 23,51-1, with 2,107,012 scholars. It Is estimated that in England thero Is it scholar for every 8.110 persons ; in Scotland about one sev- nth of tho people aro at school ; while in the United States thero Is ono scholar for every two hundred persons receives instruction in schools ; so that whlluat nine o'clock on every Monday morning thero are l,0uo,(Kii.i American boys nud girls ut school, thero nro lu Biissin only luo.ono enjoying the deuellt of Inseruc tlon. A rsi:.vri.r.MAN troubled with a short memory having acquired tho bad habit of turning down a leaf of a book so as to remember where ho left off, writes to say that ho never can recollect it street that he's only been lu once. How is ho to remedy this defect? Very simply i let him do as he does with his books turn down a corner, myn le ti M.MUS-tjtjil,.. -J- 1-tHfcJO